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A Celebration Of Self Acceptance Or Vanity?

Many fat women, myself included, have started putting up home pages which also include sexy photos of themselves. Is this vanity? Not in my opinion.

Many of us have been told for most of our lives that because we are fat, we are unattractive. I'm sure I'm not the first fat woman to hear the line, "But you have such a pretty face..."

Thanks to publications like DIMENSIONS and web sites like Dimensions Online, some of us have come to realize that not only are we beautiful, but others think so as well. For a lot of women it takes great courage to pose for photos that are sensual in nature, to post them for the world to see takes even more guts. My reasons for doing this were purely for my own self esteem. Yes I got a few negative comments, but the good far outweighed the bad.

For years I hid my fat body inside of long baggy shirts and pants, hoping that people would never catch a glimpse of the fat underneath. The only person who I was fooling was myself. I would walk around with my head down and hope that people wouldn't take notice of me, which is pretty hard since I am over 6 feet tall!

I had never heard the terms BBW, FA or size acceptance until I bought my computer and got on the internet. A friend that I met online decided to send me a subscription to Dimensions magazine and I thanked them, not knowing what was in store for me as I had never heard of that either. I can still remember getting that first issue in the mail. I opened it up and frankly I was stunned! How could these fat women be showing off their bodies? Needless to say I read that issue from cover to cover and was speechless when I got through.

"Maybe I'm not ugly after all." I told myself. I must have looked through that issue 4 or 5 times a day (at least until my next one arrived).

Then I noticed that these women were not professional models, they were just normal people like me. I thought, "Wouldn't it be great if I could be featured in here? What a boost to my self esteem that would be!"

Well, I went out the very next day and had a photo shoot done, the photographer was my best friend so I felt pretty comfortable. I don't think I would have done this if it had been a stranger taking the pictures. After I got the photos back, I still didn't have the guts to send them in. So they sat in my drawer gathering dust for months.

After a long battle with my own self acceptance, I finally was able to get those pictures out and dust them off. I went out and bought a scanner, scanned them and posted them on my web page. I wasn't sure what the reaction would be to them, but I didn't care. I posted them for myself, for my own self esteem and to show everyone else that I'm fat, I'm beautiful and I'm proud.

The pictures from that first photo shoot are still residing on my home page along with a few new ones that were taken by my husband (whom I found via the internet too but that's a whole other show!). Vanity or self acceptance? You be the judge.

Dani Osborne
Dimensions Online Editor
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