More Sabotage Feeding in NYC
By JafaHer name is Tara and she is fat. Newly fat, to be more accurate. She is sitting in a Starbucks, reading the Times, waiting for her Mom. I'm guessing she's 19 and just finishing her sophomore year at NYU. I'm guessing this because of the conversation.
"So, you're taking journalism again next year?" her mom asks. She's just sat down with two vente lattes and two large chocolate chip muffins. "Why journalism? Do you need that for Law School?"
"I'm not sure about Law School," Tara says.
"I see," her mom says. I put her mom around 45. She's short, tanned, thin and stylish. Most of the style comes from her hair cut and her clothes. She wears Merrell Jungle Ventillators on her feet. So does her daughter, Tara. They're very much the rage out here.
"I got you chocolate-chocolate chip and coffee-chip," Tara's mom says. She puts both muffins down in front of her daughter. "I know how much you like these."
Tara face hardens a little. It's a truly lovely face. Perfectly round; the makings of a second chin. Her large eyes are framed wonderfully by curly brown hair.
"Mom, what are you doing?"
"What do you mean?" her mom asks.
Tara leans in and whispers a sharp, harsh whisper. "We just ate breakfast." Tara runs her hand absently along the length of her right thigh. She is wearing red capri pants that are way too tight. Her mom, rail thin and way too tan, is wearing a similar cut, but in white.
"Well," Tara's mom says. "I just thought you wanted to celebrate a little. Finals are over, the summer starting."
"Exactly," Tara says. "Summer. Look at me."
"What?" her mom says. You look great."
"I'm fat," Tara says. Women and men within air shot look up to check the facts. Tara folds her arms across her stomach - also perfectly round. She leans forward toward the table to hide a little of her tummy, but this only shows a pair of very ample love handles that push up her shirt. He pulls at her t-shirt.
"You're not fat. You should have seen me in college."
Tara absently picks at her muffin, drinks her coffee, and looks at the window.
Her mom smiles.
And here's what I'm thinking. Tara's mom likes feeding her daughter and loves the idea that she's grown fat. I'm thinking that, faced with her own thoughts of beauty, her own image of desire, Tara's mom felt at some point that her daughter was stealing her spotlight. That her daughter was now fat was some sort of vindication for Tara's mom, and she was only going to help her daughter get fatter. I'm so hoping this is true - for just one reason:
Because her daughter Tara is a truly beautiful fat woman, and the vindication is actually hers.
With one muffin gone, and the other saved for later, Tara and her mom gather themselves together and get ready to leave. As Tara stands up, her very round tummy shows just how poorly her cute little outfit fits.
"Let's go get you some new clothes," her mom says.
(AUTHOR'S NOTE: What do you think? I'd love to hear your views on my take -especially if you've got something to say about subtle fattening and vengeful feeding. I've been trying to figure that part of my own feederism out for years.)