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"Little Katie"
By The Feederer

(This is best imagined as a 50's, Elvis-type song.
- The Feederer)

I met a little lady;
She was pretty fine
Cause she didn't give a damn about her waistline!
Little Katie,
The best girl around!
One hundred fifty pounds!

I took her on our first date,
Little rest'rant down the street;
She put 'em out of business:
"Hey, it's all you can eat."
A couple weeks passed;
Boy, had she ever grown!
A twinkie was her septor,
And the couch was her throne!
Little Katie,
Most hungry girl in town!
Two-hundred pounds!

Katie's body was swelling;
Oh, she was growin' fast!
Her D-cup bra and size XL
Pants would never last.
She ate and ate and ate and ate
and ate and ate some more!
She ate until her bra burst
And her stomach reached the floor!
Little Katie,
The biggest girl in town!
Hey, Katie!
Four-hundred pounds!

Candy, ice-cream, jelly rolls,
Lots of pizza, too -
All went past her lips so fast
She had no time to chew.
Pancakes, cookies, chicken wings,
She ate it like a horse;
Steak, butter, whipping cream -
And now for second course!
Little Katie,
The biggest girl in town!
Five-hundred pounds!

Breasts like basketballs,
Her waist and neck were gone,
But she didn't care,
At least we still could get it on!
Little Katie,
The biggest girl around!
Oh Katie!
Six-hundred pounds!

Eyes so blue,
Hair so red,
But it took seven men
To lift her our of bed!
Little Katie,
The biggest girl around!
Oooh, my Katie!
Seven-hundred pounds!

Thighs like a redwood,
Twenty-seven chins,
The poster-child for gluttony
As a hobby not a sin!
Little Katie,
The fattest girl around! Ohhh, Katie!
Eight-hundred pounds!

The day we got married,
Yeah, that was really nice!
She had the people throwin'
Reese's cups instead of rice!
You should have seen that ice-cream cake,
Eleven layers tall!
And the wedding sheet could hardly fit
Around my little butter ball!
Little Katie,
The biggest girl around!
Oooooh, my Katie!!
Nine-hundred pouuuuuuuuunds! Oh yeah!