Love Can Be Perfect
The party was terrible. It was pretty much like every other party I had been to. Loud, shouting people. Blaring music. The gripping feeling of panic I got when I was alone in a crowd. I don't really know why I went to it. I mean, I knew I wouldn't like it. I didn't do well talking to lots of people.
I guess some small part of me was just hoping that I would find someone to talk to, someone to save me from my ever present loneliness. Someone to whisk me away from my inner loneliness. Someone like Brittany.
I was dressed in a rather plain dress. I was wearing rather plain makeup, to adorn my plain face, framed with my straight, plain, short brown hair. Plain, plain, plain…it's all I was, at least on the outside. On the inside, I was soft and fragile, totally weak. I had never had a real boyfriend; I was far too shy. Sometimes I felt that I might be a lesbian, because I felt the most shy when I talked to other girls.
I was standing alone near the drink bowl, thinking about how much longer I should stay, when she just walked up to me. Tall, flowing brown hair, deep brown eyes, slender, long arms, and a sparkling smile. She looked a couple of years older than me. At first, she just looked me up and down, waiting for me to speak. I tried to speak up, and as I failed, her eyes lit up. It was if she could see the shyness, and she loved it. She grabbed my hand and pulled me into a part of the house I had not seen.
“So…what's your name?” I didn't know why we were here, but somehow I felt a lot better away from all the kids and music. I managed to barely say, “Lily.” She seemed to brighten up from the single word.
“That's a nice name, I'm Brittany. You don't like parties much, do you?” I shook my head feebly. She just smiled
“Me neither, actually. I was thinking about going. Do you want to come with me?” Some part of me protested, but I felt that somehow, she liked me.
“Yes, where are we going?” She just laughed and walked me to her car. As we got in I felt my skin shake on my thin frame. She seemed so…so…there was no word. We finally got to her apartment, which was not too big. I remember the look in her eyes when she sat me down on the sofa. She looked as if she could worship me, but how could that be? Me, the little plain, unattractive girl…
“How old are you, Lily?” My brain was too pre-occupied with trying to figure out if she liked me or not and if I should be liking her to be shy.
“19.” She sat down right next to me. Now, my brain was screaming for her to kiss me. There was no doubt about it now. I was a lesbian, through and through. But I was still scared.
“Would you forgive me?” Before I could answer, she leaned over and kissed me. It was pure heaven. As first I was just too shocked by how much I liked it to kiss back. Then I was too scared to kiss back, too scared that I might do it wrong, that I might mess up the kiss. She slowly wrapped her arms around me as she oh so gently suckled my tongue.
When she finally stopped, I gasped for breath, stars spinning above me. She grabbed my hands and whispered to me. “Lily, you mouth is as wonderful as I imagined it would be.” She was about to say something else, but the desire to kiss me again overpowered her, and I got a second taste of the best moment of my life.
I didn't kiss back, but I don't think I needed to. She seemed to like me totally unresponsive, limp in her arms. She rubbed on my back as she gently chewed my full lower lip. Eventually, I started to cry from sheer happiness, and she held me close as she kissed.
When we finally stopped kissing, she held me close and cuddled me in her arms. It was just too hard to resist. I fell asleep.
When I awoke, I was already hearing the sounds of breakfast being made. Although I really would have wanted to wake up in Brittany's loving arms, the breakfast did smell very good. My head was still spinning from the events of last night. I had so many questions…
“Brittany…I, well, I'm not…” She stopped making breakfast and moved towards me with her finger to her lips.
“Shhh…it's okay. You scared about what happened last night, right?” I nodded.
“Well, it's okay, you don't have to be. I'm here for you. All I want is to love you and hold you and take care of you. I want to helpless in my arms, needing my touch, begging for the love that I cannot help but give to you. My little, beautiful, innocent, shy Lily. Who adores me more than anything. Who I can hold in my arms and comfort as she cries…do you want this, Lily?” It was too good to be true. I wanted this more than anything. I needed this. I needed someone to comfort me, to hold me…but to have someone who wanted to give me these things as much as I wanted to receive them? This had to be a dream. Yes, and that is why I felt okay that she's a girl. That's why I was kind of glad that she was a girl, and so beautiful too…
“This has to be a dream, Brittany. This can't possibly be real.” Now she was smiling again.
“Was that a yes?” I nodded. It was the most certain I had ever been about anything, ever. She gently kissed my cheek and whispered, “You have no idea how happy this makes me.” I prayed that I would not wake up from this unbelievable dream, and walked with her towards the table.
Breakfast was good, and there was lots of it. Waffles, pancakes, toast, milk, orange juice…how had she known what foods I liked? I usually didn't each as much as I did, but it was so good. Brittany was the perfect cook. I could have screamed when I looked at my watch.
“Oh no! It's 11:30! I have to go to my aerobics class!” Brittany sat me back down at the table.
“Stay, Lily. Please? I don't want you to go.” It was sweet of her to want me to stay, and I didn't want to go either, but…
“Oh, Brittany, I'll be done in 45 minutes. Besides, with your cooking, think what will happen to my figure if I start skipping classes?” Brittany looked at me with an incredible pleading in her eye.
“I know we've only known each other for a little while, but please, do this for me. Stay, Lily. Stay with me.” I sighed and rolled my eyes.
“Ok, but you're to blame if I start gaining weight.” I said humorously, causing us both to laugh.
Brittany held me and read short poems that she had written to me in a quiet voice until 2 pm. She spoke so softly that I could only understand every other word, but somehow, I understood the meaning and inwardly I wondered if she was speaking so softly on purpose. But who really cared, it was sweet.
Lunch was another big meal, but dinner was even bigger. We had spaghetti and Brittany gave me three helpings. It was so good that I kept eating it long after I was full. A little later, Brittany brought out dessert, which was Vanilla ice cream, my favorite dessert and my favorite flavor. Up until then I had tried to cut back on ice cream, and with a girlfriend I knew deep down that I should be watching my weight, but I did not pay attention to those warning and I ate and ate. It was just too good to resist. And Brittany kept bringing more…my stomach was stretched and aching by the time I was done. But the food had been so wonderful that it was all worth it.
Brittany and I watched my favorite movie after that, “Addicted to Love.” I got to lie down on her lap while she gently rubbed my belly. When the movie was over, we started kissing again, and we did not stop until very late at night. When we did stop kissing, we just held each other while we fell asleep on the couch. It seemed a little strange that I loved this girl so much, and we had crossed so many barriers, and yet we were not having sex. But we really didn't need it. We were fine with cuddling and kissing. That was so wonderful that it was more than enough to slate my desires.
Two days later, I moved into her apartment and quit my job. She told me she had received millions in inheritance when her grandfather had died, but she didn't spend it on expensive things because she thought one day it might be needed. But she made me quit my job because she said she wanted to spend every hour of day with me, and providing for me was not trouble. I liked not having the responsibility (both of my job and everything else. Brittany did everything for me) and I loved the fact that she took care of me. It was just so sweet to have her do everything for me, and I think she enjoyed doing it, watching the gratified expressions on my face…sometimes I felt like we were married.
I knew I shouldn't be thinking about marriage at a time like this, when we had only known each other for a few days. But I couldn't imagine going on living without her, she had become permanently entrenched in my brains. Everything that was good in life now revolved around her. But such was how I liked it. Romance is the most important thing in life, for people like me, anyway. I was so glad that I had found someone like Brittany to make me this happy. More glad than I knew.
Over the next few weeks we grew so close it was like we had known each other our whole lives. I had talked to my parents about her just once, and besides being infuriated with me that I was a lesbian, they said that I was “overdoing it” with romance. I tried to explain to them that both Brittany and I liked over doing it, but they said that lovers aren't supposed to spend all their time together and shut out the world. But what did they know? It's not like they had the best marriage in the world. Brittany was angry at the phone call, too.
“The world has hurt you, why shouldn't you shut it out? I'm shutting it out because I only care about one person in it. We have each other, we were made for each other, why should they say we should do anything else?” I could not agree more. Aside from shopping for food, I never wanted to leave the apartment again. I had found my place in life, my person in life. Now that I started to think of her that way, I felt that more than ever she was the one for me.
Of course, that's how life is. It surprises you. Just when you think you have the perfect relationship that cannot ascend to any higher levels, something strange happens. Something that makes your relationship get closer and more perfect than you brain could even conceive.
It was a Saturday, again. It was now our one month and one day anniversary since we met. It was also the day I used to go to aerobics class, but I had skipped four sessions. And Brittany had not eased up on the quality or the amount of her wonderful cooking. As I stepped out of the shower, I looked at my naked body with horror.
Where a thin girl once stood, I saw a girl who was…not thin. Not fat, or even close, but…I had gained weight. My face and hips were a little rounder, a little softer, a little less bony and angular. My thin thighs had gotten a little rounder. My normally flat tummy now swelled with a slight curve, which I could not, despite my best efforts, suck in. The best part about this was my modest breasts had grown a little bit, but that didn't near make up for…this. Then I saw something else. Where toned muscles had been in my arms, now there was nothing but soft, underdeveloped flesh. I had never been a girl to obsess over my weight, but how could this have happened? Well, I knew what happened, eating more and exercising less. But how could this happen to me? Brittany had been so sweet to me, she had loved me so much…and I repay her by taking all her love and giving her back nothing but…this. I started to cry. How could she still want me now? Where was she?
I quickly threw on a towel and ran to the kitchen. Nobody was there, but I found a note on the table: “Dear Lily, gone to get groceries, will be back at about 4:30.” It was 3:50 now. I had to wait 40 minutes for her to come home. I did not know what to do. Usually, we went shopping together. Being alone for 40 minutes was like Hell on Earth. It was not long until I was rummaging through Brittany's room, looking for I don't know what. But there I found her diary.
On the cover it read, “Brittany's secret diary. Please leave it alone. Thank you.” I loved Brittany, but I could not resist taking a peek. I was too weak to stop myself.
“Dear Diary, July 23. Me and Lily are getting along great, as usual. She barely does anything, now I do it all for her. She, being who she is, could never understand the deeper joy I get out of doing everything for her. But she loves it as much as I love to give it, and as such we are soul mates. Last night I noticed that she had gained a little weight. I know she would not be happy if she noticed. Oh, if only she knew I loved the sight of it…but she couldn't understand. She would just be disgusted.”
I gasped as I put the diary down. This truly had been a secret diary. I was too shocked to even begin to grasp what I had read. She…she…no, I was reading it wrong. That could not be it. But as I flipped through the other pages, more support came through. “My secret worship of chubbiness…” and “I love feeding her and watching her grow.” However, the shock had finally begun to wear off. It was just a strange turn on, after all. Some people liked stranger things, like chains and whips…why was this so terrible just because most of society called it the opposite of attractive?
And even as I thought that, I realized that this was the perfect way to give Brittany something back for loving me and taking care of me. I could be her wonderful woman. I could know her fantasy…and embrace it. I could give her all she desired. As I looked at my flesh, I felt exited at the prospect of it turning Brittany on. Never before had I truly felt…sexy.
Besides, what girl could possibly make their lover happy by not exercising and eating too much besides me? The more and more I thought about it, the better I thought. I was not going to let her down. I was going to please her in the way she never thought I could. I would make her fantasy come true…and I would love every minute of it.
When Brittany came home, I helped her put the groceries away as fast as I could and sat down with her on the sofa, the place where we slept so often.
“Brittany, I read your diary, and I want to do it.” Why did I always have to mess up my words when it was so important? She looked at me with confusion.
“Your secret fantasy, it didn't gross me out. I want you to have your fantasy come true, Brittany.” She shook her head.
“You were not supposed to read that! And you don't have to do that. You don't have do anything…for me. I'm there to take care of you, don't take pains to make me happy. I'm not worth it, and you are.” I shook my head.
“You are worth it. You're the most wonderful girl in the world. You have been perfect. I want to return some of the kindness you have shown me. And I have thought about it. It's not just for you, Brittany. If you want this, I want this too.”
She could not believe it. “Really?” I giggled.
“Really, Brittany. Besides, when can a girl make her favorite person in the world happy by having seconds on dessert?” Brittany laughed and held me close, tears of joy streaming down her face.
“I never thought you could understand it, Lily. You are so wonderful.” At dinner that night, I had lots of food, more than I had ever eaten. Every time I asked for another helping, both of us let out a giggle as seductive thoughts drifted through our minds. The more and more I thought about it, the more and more I loved the idea of it. For dessert I ate and ate until I thought my stomach might burst. Not only was I fueled with the wonderful taste of the food, but I now had another motivator. I thought that night we might have sex, but we held off. As always, cuddling and kissing was enough. But I could tell that Brittany was now loving me with more passion than ever.
The next few weeks hit me as a shock. While I had previously thought that our relationship was perfect, it had now ascended to a level far beyond perfection. Not only did we spend all of out time together, but now that Brittany had been able to let go of the burden of her secret and I had been able to grant her fantasy, she seemed to be filled with energy, loving every moment we spent laughing and talking and kissing with more passion than I had ever seen in her before. I also a few glimpses of something in her that I desperately craved: lust. Sometimes, especially during mealtime, I would see a certain glow in her eyes that I had not seen from her since our first night. A little twinkle of desire that made me feel so warm inside. My image made my lover lust. I had never felt so special or important.
One night, in particular, I was wearing a small halter top and low riding jeans that exposed my belly. It was dessert time, and we were eating cake. I remember I had five big pieces, and I was finally too full. But all through dinner I had seen her slowly get more and more excited, to the point when finally she lost a little control and ran over to me, telling me that it was ok that I could not eat on my own. She would feed me. And true to her word, she pushed the cake into my mouth with her finger, once even pushing the food directly down my throat. My stomach ached, but to see her so caught up in her erotic craze was well worth it. It was the first time I had made her half crazy with lust, and it was good.
My body slowly caught up with my increased feeding habits, and it was not a long time before we were looking at my naked body in the bathroom mirror. Now I was…slightly chubby. My arms and shoulders looked bigger, rounder, softer. My cheeks were a little bigger, my chin slightly double. My legs and stomach hinted at a slight thickness. My breasts looked a little more full. My stomach now had a definite curve to it, a curve that this time I did not try to hide. My butt and hips had grown as well, and Brittany gently squeezed the soft layer of fat surrounding my hips as she stared at me in the mirror, breathing heavy with lust.
“So beautiful…round and soft. Bigger and softer and rounder and prettier, beautiful curves, creamy white soft flesh begging for me to hold it and squeeze it…” I don't even know if she knew she was babbling. I giggled with delight as she gazed at me. I wasn't just someone to take care of for her anymore. Now I was beautiful and sexy…
She was sexy; she was the girl who loved me. Her body was as beautiful to me as mine now was to her. And that made me feel so good. I could give her this happiness…and in that thought, I finally understood why she loved to take care of me. To give someone your really love pure happiness is the best happiness of all.
“Lily, I never had sex with you because I wanted our relationship to be beyond that. I wanted us to really have something far more special than sex. And we have had that. Do you feel the same way?” I nodded. Our late nights of kissing and cuddling was more romantic and pleasurable than any sex could ever be, now matter how good.
“I don't want to stop doing exactly as we have been doing, but it's the day now…surely we would not be cheating if we did it, just this once?” I smiled at her. It was strange. The greatest thing I now lusted for was her lust. And she was brimming over with it.
“We won't be cheating, Brittany…make love to me.” And what followed after that was the most amazing experience of my life. Brittany kissed me so hard I thought I might faint, then carried me to the couch and kissed me again, this time with her body pressing down on top of mine. She let her hands explore my curvy body, holding and caressing each piece of soft flesh. Eventually, she put on an artificial member and slowly rocked her body up and down on mine, loving each gasp that I gave, knowing each gasp brought me closer to orgasm. The pleasure she got from hearing my cries of passion and the feeling she got from riding on top of me were clearly visible in her face. It was if she was getting as much pleasure as if she was the one being made love to. It was only the second person I had ever had sex with, but I knew it would be my last. Nobody could ever make love better than she could. It rocked my world to feel her press down on me, to press into me. To feel her breasts on mine, her lips on mine, her hips on mine, her hands on mine…too perfect to ever say in words or art. Only the sounds of my pleasure filled moans and gasps came close to portraying the true feelings I felt.
When I finally came, it was in a beautiful explosion of perfection. It was so wonderful…I wished I could have done the same for her, but I fell asleep.
When I awoke, it was late at night. Odd, to fall asleep in the middle of the afternoon at awaken at midnight. But all I could think about was how amazing it all was. So wonderful...so good. Was it just Brittany? Was it her incredible lust? Was it the fact that I liked being rounder and softer more than I liked being thin and angular? Brittany was sleeping soundly right next to me, but when she awoke…I could not wait until I could have her on top of me again…I closed my eyes and dreamt of love and passion.
When I awoke, she was holding me and singing to me. It felt so good to melt in her sweet embrace. She whispered to me when she knew I was awake “You don't know how good it feels to hold your wonderful, tender body in my arms, sweet Lily. And you could not imagine how much I enjoyed last afternoon.” I nodded.
“Oh Brittany! It was so wonderful! I love you so much!” She kissed me softly and rubbed my back.
“I love you, too, Lily.” And, shortly afterwards, we ate breakfast.
The food was as good as it was every day, but today it tasted a million times better. And being full did not stop me! I ate and ate, as I had done before, but this time, I had no qualms, no doubts. I was so sure. Not only would I do anything to make Brittany think I was sexy, somehow, her ideas had started to become my own. As I looked down at my body, I felt I was the sexiest I had ever been, and if I ate a little more, I could be even sexier. Round, soft, tender, cute, sexy, just a few more bites…it became almost hypnotic, almost as hypnotic as when Brittany read me her incomprehensible poetry.
When Brittany saw how much I had eaten that breakfast, she ran to me and hugged me hard. “Oh! You're so good to me! So sweet to me to eat that much!” I smiled at her devilishly.
“To tell you the truth, your liking of it has started to make me like it now…” She giggled as I started to eat the individual butter servings raw. “You're so sweet, Lily.” As she rubbed on my tummy and gazed at me with a mix of love and adoration and worship and lust in her eyes, I felt a warm glow surge through me. I didn't want it to end. I ate until I cried from stomach ache, and I loved every minute of it.
What followed breakfast was more of a reward than I deserved for such an act that was not even totally selfless. But it was best described as a flurry of gentle biting and rough kissing, and tidal wave of sensuous fondling and touching, and all in all a heavenly four hours of beautiful foreplay. So wonderful and great. I only touched Brittany for a short while, it was mostly me being treated to it. But I don't think she minded. She loved touching me. Me…I still melted mentally whenever I remembered just how much she loved me.
I ate with a fury the next few weeks, smiling every time I saw my measurements increase. It was so nice and wonderful to know I was getting more beautiful. It felt so wonderful every time I asked for more food, knowing I would gain. It was no bother to ask for so many helpings, the nervousness was gone. Every night, I ate until my belly was stretched and aching with fullness, loving the feeling to the core. I never had eaten so much before then. Brittany sometimes cried with joy at seeing me eat so much.
Sometimes, I felt as if my ambition had been reborn inside me, my ambition to eat for her, to grow for her. Every day I thrived on it, making her happy. Making me happy too. Sometimes, when I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed myself a little heavier, I wound jump up and down for joy.
Sometimes I wished I could be more like her, to desire something society condemned. But try as I might, I could not find anything in the deep corners of my mind that suggested a predisposing to anything even remotely considered sexually deviant. She had an interesting answer for me.
“We could do it in the shower.” It seemed harmless enough, and not really deviant at all, but I figured it was as start. But she got a real treat.
We slowly took off our clothes together as we waited for the water in the shower to get warm. We looked into the mirror again, as we did before. It had been six weeks since then. I could tell from her distinctive glossy gaze what she thought.
She slowly wrapped her hand around my belly and caressed it, while trying in vain to muffle gasps of arousal at my naked form. I looked straight ahead of me. I had gained more weight. A lot more. I was now…definitely chubby. I could see it. Double chin (not slight anymore), full round cheeks. My thighs and calves were thick and round. My shoulders and arms were big and round, perfect to support my breasts, which now had the same characteristics. But most of all, there was my belly, which had for the first time truly begun to grow outwards. It was almost in the shape of early stages of pregnancy. My hips had grown big and rounded and wide as well, which Brittany liked almost as much as my belly.
“I never thought anyone could be so beautiful,” she said to me in a whisper. We tiptoed into the shower together, and kissed hard as we pressed our bodies up against each other. She tugged at my short hair, she kissed my double chin; she licked at my shoulders. She cupped my large breasts and she lowed her body to the floor, to massage my thighs and gently push her head against my tummy. Sometimes she would stop and French kiss my bellybutton. As she massaged my outer lips with her tongue, I crumpled to the floor of the shower and whimpered with desire. Soon, she was sitting down next to me, kissing me gently while rubbing my belly with one hand while slowly letting the other slide in and out of me. It was so good, to feel her touch on my body from three places. I felt my climax come on very slowly, very surely. As the water splashed into my eyes, and the girl I loved kissed my tenderly while rubbing my tummy and rubbing my jewel of passion, I know this was it. The best moment of my life. Its record was surpassed two seconds later when I exploded for her, calling out her name through her kisses.
I was tired and spent, but I wanted, no, needed, to give her back some of what she had given me. I got on top of her, slowly grinding my body on hers, pressing down on her, kissing her...I could tell how much she needed this, she was moaning with desire at my slightest movements. Slowly, we rubbed our womanhoods together, and kissed and kissed. Finally, in a barrage of gasps and clenched fingers, she climaxed, covering us in her fluid. When the shower washed it away, I felt a little sad that it was no longer there to bond us. But I did not get off her, and I did not stop kissing. Neither of us wanted to. It lasted for another hour and a half before we finally got out of the shower, but even then we did not stop kissing. We were drunk off of it that day. When our lips and tongues ached with the effort, we held each other o n the sofa and took turns fondling and massaging each other. Her last words before she fell asleep in my arms were “I love you so much Lily…and you have no idea how beautiful you are.” I kissed her forehead, the same thought going through my mind about her.
And now, I am holding her close, wondering what I did to ever deserve such a wonderful, happy life. Wondering what I did to deserve such a wonderful girlfriend. I don't know. All I do know is that I am the happiest, luckiest girl on Earth. And I love Brittany.