Mutya Buena sat in the back on a taxi on the way back from her manager's office after they had announced to the media her pregnancy with her boyfriend, Jay. It was November 12th, 2004, and she was due to give birth in April the next year. She had some very busy months ahead of her. She and the girls were recording a new album in America over the Christmas period, then she was giving birth in April, and then, in June, they were off to begin promoting the album for the foreseeable future. It all seemed a bit much, but an exciting chapter of her life was about to be written.
On the way back to her flat she called the rest of the Sugababes, Heidi and Keisha, and told them she had made the announcement to the press. They both seemed happy it went so well, and they arranged to do lunch in a few hours.
They only went to a local café near Keisha's place to chat about their trip to America. They were leaving on the 15th, so were spending most of their time packing and preparing to be away from home for so long, something they never really enjoyed but had done many times before.
“I don't know what to have, you guys. I am so hungry, but I shouldn't,” said Mutya, looking her menu up and down.
Heidi looked up from her menu, “You're eating for two now, Mutya. How far along are you now?”
“Four months in a few days.”
“And, look at you, you're hardly showing yet.”
“True, I'm not that big yet.”
“Remember, you're eating for two,” said Keisha.
“Alright, then. I will have the ¼ lb cheese burger with fries and then some of the cheesecake,” said Mutya to their waitress. “You know I might enjoy this eating-for-two thing,” she smiled to her band-mates while they made their smaller orders.
They next saw each other at the airport with their masses of bags and loved ones to wave them off. Heidi had her boyfriend, Dave Berry; Keisha had her secret boyfriend with her and a few members of family. Mutya had her slightly older, 26-year-old boyfriend, Jay: the soon to be father of her baby and her mom. They flew first class over to California and got a limo over to their rented house, courtesy of their record label.
The first thing Mutya did as soon as they got in the house was go to the kitchen and get something to eat. Her desire for food had definitely increased since the idea of 'eating for two' had taken hold, and on the plane over she had something to eat nearly on the hour, every hour. Heidi and Keisha went to look around the house and met up with Mutya in the kitchen.
“This place is great, four bedrooms, two en suite, a gym, a plasma screen, a terrace out the back and air conditioning.”
“Sweet, the fridge is fully stocked, too. Oh can I have on of the en suite rooms?”
“I suppose, as you're expecting. Me and Heidi will toss for the other.”
The Sugababes weren't going into the studio until the beginning of December, so they had until then to get some of the writing done. They worked together for the majority of songs, but each wrote at least one by themselves, with Mutya writing two on her own. With all of this writing going on, they didn't spend too much time out of the house. They didn't know anybody in America, so couldn't go out with friends and they couldn't go out drinking because they were all under 21. They did go to the beach a few times and out shopping but most days were spent, pen in hand, out on the terrace or just around the house.
Mutya soon began to feel a bit homesick, mainly due to her pregnancy and her crazy hormone fluctuations. Heidi and Keisha both knew she would be emotional while away from home, so they tried to comfort her in any way they could.
“Are you alright, babe?”
“Yeah, I'm fine; I just miss Jay.”
“I know; is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”
“No, no, I'm OK really.”
“Hey, I think there is some ice cream left in the freezer!”
“Thanks, you read my mind,”
Comfort food was the easy fix for her homesickness, something she was doing more and more often. In the morning, she would get up to a hearty breakfast, then snack while writing or watching TV, then lunch and some more snacking then dinner, which they often went out for, be it takeout or a restaurant. Dessert was something Mutya always made time for, and, then through the evening, there was more snacking and sometimes something to last her through the night.
The two weeks flew past, and they had lots of writing done. The next 20 days, they worked with a producer to put the lyrics against music and alter it when they found something that didn't sound right. Their producer came up with some great ideas, and, after only a few songs, they knew they had something pretty special. They were going home on the 20th of December to spend Christmas and New Year at home in England, then they were heading back out to America for another two weeks to finish up in January.
The flight back was a bit rough, with Mutya feeling sick, and the turbulence made things even worse. Even though most women tend to skip breakfast during morning sickness, Mutya even managed to get her airline breakfast down while feeling ill and the plane rocking around. When they got back, they all went home to see friends and family. Heidi went back up to Liverpool, and Keisha and Mutya went their separate ways in London. Mutya stayed with Jay on her first night back and then alternated between his place, her flat and her parents' place.
She was getting comments about how 'healthy' she was looking. She had outgrown most of her clothes while away in America and looked pregnant, instead of just chubby like she was when she left for the USA. But she didn't just have a belly; her hips had widened like most women's do when they are pregnant, but her thighs, arse and face had plumped up a bit too. She either didn't care or notice because any increase in girth was put down to the baby and perfectly normal.
As it was coming up to Christmas, Mutya had to go shopping to get gifts, and every time she went out, she went to a fast food place, one of her favourite places to go. She loved KFC the most but would settle for what was closest, most of the time.
She wasn't just eating a lot of fast food; when with Jay, he always made sure the mother of his baby had plenty of food and snacks to keep the baby well-fed. At her own flat, she filled the fridge with her favourite food and ate a lot when there because she didn't want to leave perishable food there. But, when she was at her parent's house, she ate the most. Her mother believed in the eating-for-two principle even more then she did.
“Mutya, you should be eating now. I know you have been dieting for your career, but this isn't the time to be watching calories. So, when you're here with me, your momma will make sure you and the little one get plenty to eat.”
She got there Christmas Eve morning and went to Jay's flat on Boxing Day night after dinner. She had consumed fifteen meals, five a day, and all the snacks she could eat. Her presents were not important because she just wanted to be with family, but everybody was happy with what she had bought them because she had the cash to indulge all her family.
New Year's Eve was spent sober out with friends. Not being able to drink or take anything else she might on this sort of occasion was a buzz killer for her. But she had a good enough time and got home early at 2:00 and in bed at 2:30 - after a bite to eat.
Soon, they were due to fly out again to finish up their vocals and put down some new songs in the USA. Other then work, which they did for up to 12 hours a day, Mutya ate. American food came in massive portions, and there was so much choice for somebody with cash to spend and a big appetite. Meals were twice the size of home, so she could eat two massive plates of food with no guilt under the guise that she is eating for two, when it was closer to eating for four. Chocolate bars were twice the size; bags of crisps were up to four times the size and the vast selection of sweets she hadn't sampled before meant she bought in bulk and ate in bulk.
Even though they were there for only two weeks, Mutya outgrew most of her clothes, due to the baby and the increase in her own personal weight. She used the extra room in her bags and packed them with her favourite junk food that was only available from America, along with some gifts for the family.
At just about six months along, Mutya went to see her doctor and was told she was too big.
“Ms Buena, over the last few months you really have put on a bit of weight!”
“I know, but I am pregnant and eating for two.”
“Did you know that you only need an extra 300 calories a day when carrying a baby?”
“300. Is that it? That can't be right!”
“It is, between 300 and 400.”
“OK, so what could happen if the baby is big?”
“Other then an uncomfortable birth, it may be born premature simply due to its size. There are some links between overweight babies and health risks later on in life, including diabetes and some heart problems.”
“Oh, I will bear that in mind.”
“Other then that, you and the baby are looking fine: a good strong heart beat and it seems to be in the right position. All I have to ask you is do you want to know the sex?”
“Well, me and Jay wanted it to be a surprise, but I really want to know.”
“Alright, Mutya, you are going to have a little bouncing baby girl!”
Mutya smiled, “Great!”
With just under three months left until the birth, Mutya rented out her flat to a young couple because she couldn't see herself living on her own when the baby was born, at least not for the first few months. Jay had a room made up for the baby in his flat, and Mutya put most of her things from her flat into his. The rest of her things were put in her old bedroom back in her parents' place. She would be out on the road in June, and the baby would live between Jay and her parents, so making both places seem like home made sense.
Eight months in, it was mid March, and Mutya was sitting on her Mom's sofa, chomping down a Big Mac. Her doctor's advice of cutting back on her food and only eating 300-400 more calories a day then usual had fallen on deaf ears. She'd only lasted a day before reverting back to her big meals and constant snacking. She looked nine months pregnant, sitting in the lounge with a very tight maternity dress on which looked like it would burst around her middle. Double chin, flabby arms, huge hips, massive arse, chubby thighs and a huge stretch mark covered belly.
She finished the Big Mac in near record time and put her hand into the MacDonald's bag next to her for another and started ripping it open, while chewing the last of the one she had just finished. Some women have cravings for pickles, some for weird combinations of food mixed together and some for things as bizarre as coal or soil. This is because their body is lacking in certain vitamins or minerals, which the food they crave contains. Mutya's cravings were for Big Macs, lots of Big Macs. She had at least five a day, her only real exercise being her waddling off to MacDonald's to get them. She happily sat and ate her MacDonald's lunch, knowing everything was all lined up perfectly for the baby; all her clothes and toys were bought. She had done her reading up finishing four entire books on motherhood, from cover to cover.
The second day of April was the big day, Mutya's waters breaking in mid-afternoon. She got a taxi to the hospital with her parents, but when she arrived, Jay was already there and so were Heidi and Keisha. The baby was big, and the birth went on through the evening and into the night. At 11:38pm, April 2nd 2005, Mutya gave birth to her daughter, with Jay holding her hand. 11lb and 3oz was the recorded weight of the baby and Mutya knew why it hurt so much when she held her chubby firstborn for the first time.
Four days later, she was on her way to her mom's house with little Kate Buena wrapped up in her arms. Kate was Jay's mother's name; she had died when he was younger. With her hormone levels all over the place, Mutya felt proud, scared and excited all at the same time.
But something that wasn't new and strange to her was her hunger. For the rest of April, she ate almost as much as she had when she was pregnant. One walk a day around the park was the only time Mutya went out to get any exercise; the rest of the time she was looking after and bonding with Kate. By now, she had all healed up from the birth, but was still not sleeping with Jay because she wasn't quite feeling up for that yet. He had to wait a little longer, which was driving him mad. Another thing annoying him, other then Mutya still not wanting to move in with him or sleep with him, was her appearance. She wasn't bothering with makeup, putting her hair in a ponytail to save styling it like she always used to and was still wearing her maternity clothes. His fears of Mutya turning frumpy were appearing to come true, but it was early days yet. When she and the girls were off promoting the album, then she would have to get dressed up all nice again and maybe start thinking about shifting the baby weight.
May 21st was Mutya's 20th birthday and her first night out since having the baby. Getting out with her friends sounded great, but leaving her baby behind became a little daunting.
“Are you sure you can handle her all night, mom?”
“I'm sure; you go out with your friends.”
“I can stay if you want.”
“No, you won't!”
“OK, I will just be a few hours then.”
“Mutya, I insist you don't come back until tomorrow.”
“I will call you then, OK?” asked Mutya, to which her mom nodded.
“Go and get yourself all made up then. It will be nice to see you all dressed up; it's been a while.”
“It's hard to find stylish maternity wear, mom, and, since I gave birth, getting dressed up hasn't been my priority.”
“Do you have anything to wear? Anything nice?”
“You know, I don't think I do. I am still a bit big for my old gear, and I can't wear this stuff I have on now.”
Mutya's mom looked at her watch, “When are you going out?”
“8:30, they are picking me up.”
“That's plenty of time; you have just over three hours before then. Get a taxi into town and go and buy something, then have a quick shower and stuff when you get back.”
“I will still have to do my hair and makeup.”
“Call them and say you might be late, then.”
“Sounds like a plan, mom, thanks,” said Mutya, pecking her mom on the cheek and calling a taxi on her mobile phone.
A happy birthday started to become a bit depressing when she went to try on some designer clothes and found them far, far too small. Each size up she tried, the more worried about her weight she got. She ended up buying a very low cut, very tight black dress as she refused to get another bigger size. She already had shoes, so she didn't bother shopping for those, and she didn't have the time even if she wanted to. She got home at 7:45 and dove right into she shower. The rest of the time leading up to 8:30 was a frantic session of trying to make herself pretty by sorting her hair, which hadn't been cut in near to four months, and doing her near signature heavy make-up.
“Are you sure you tried that on? It looks a bit tight.”
Mutya tugged at her dress for what felt like the millionth time. “Yes, I tried it on, but I didn't want to buy a bigger size. I think I put on more weight then I had thought over the pregnancy.”
“What do you weigh?”
“Dunno,” said Mutya with a frown, “hang on, I think it's time to go and see the damage.” She walked off to the bathroom and hopped onto the scale. The number rolled past 100, 120, 140, which was her highest weight before conceiving, 160, 180 - Mutya's eyes widened - 190, 200, 210, 213lbs. “God, mom, I weigh 213 lbs!”
“I didn't think it would be that much.”
“I just have had a baby, though.”
“I know, I gained more weight when I had you.”
“God, 80 lbs! I will start the diet tomorrow! Right, it's almost half past; I just need to get my bag together and I'm off.”
After not drinking for so long, Mutya could hardly handle her drink and was drunk only after a few beers. It was 10:20 when she last remembered checking her watch, but woke up at Keisha's flat at noon the next day with a hangover and a dry out. In the past, she would just lounge around there all day and go home when she was feeling better, but after a drink and a wash in the bathroom Mutya set off home to see her baby.
Over the next few weeks, Mutya had to get back in the swing of working again. Relearning songs, doing their so-called dance routines and trying to train her voice back up after not singing properly for months. Once all the songs were in her head and she was all caught up, they were off to promote the new album by releasing a single. One thing bothering her was her weight; since her birthday she had started to be featured in the newspapers. Every story about her was calling her fat, and they affectionately dubbed the Sugababe a 'Sugablob.'
The excuse of pregnancy weight was wearing thin even for her by the end of June, but dieting had always been hard for her and losing this much weight seemed impossible. Mutya's weight began to fluctuate as she tried fad diet after fad diet. Atkins didn't pan out because Big Macs have carbs; Slim Fast didn't pan out because to her a drink is not a meal, so she ended up eating a meal on top of the shake. Weight Watchers was too time-consuming with all the meetings and weighing, especially as she was travelling all the time. She tried and failed with other diet plans, losing a bit of weight and then putting it back on again. The canteen food they were exposed to while touring around the UK and Europe was rarely healthy, and any spare time she could have spent in the gym was with her baby. Even time at home Mutya couldn't or wouldn't diet, because she had to see friends and family, shop and spend time with Kate.
Over June, July, August, September, October and November they released an album and four singles, travelled up and down the UK doing TV shows, radio and interviews and even went to Europe, publicising themselves all over the continent. Over this time, Mutya's weight went up and down, reaching a low of 194 and a high of 234, which she was now currently on.
The band was starting to fall apart; they were arguing more then ever and at the centre of it all was Mutya. Her weight was giving them bad press; she was always too busy to rehearse with Heidi and Keisha because she spent all her time on the phone to or with Kate. Mutya was messing up performances and always pushed for time off when they could have been working. The baby was coming first, and Heidi and Keisha were losing sympathy.
At the end of November, it all finally kicked off, on their bus on the way back from a show in Birmingham. Mutya had messed up her lines and dance routine, and they were discussing what had gone wrong.
“No, Mutya, you went left again when we went right.”
“I thought I was meant to go left?”
“No, we changed that three weeks ago. Remember the meeting we had and then all the times we told you?” said Heidi sternly.
“I think I missed that meeting.”
“For a change,” said Keisha under her breath.
They talked some more, and the conversation got more and more heated. “I'm a mom now! I can't come to every little meeting!” cried Mutya.
“You're a mom; you're a mom! I have heard that all day everyday, and I am going to scream if I hear it one more time!”
Keisha agreed with Heidi, “Mutya, you're going to have to decide what is more important, the band or your kid.”
“You can't give me an ultimatum like that, Keisha! It was you and me who started this band. We had a member leave, and we still carried on. Now, I have had a baby. We can't call it quits after just a few problems.”
“It's not just a few problems though, Mutya! You're messing up the dance routines; you're getting the songs wrong; you're missing meeting and, for fuck sake, you're fat!” shouted Heidi.
The van was silent, it was the first time anybody had mentioned Mutya's well-publicised weight gain. After a few seconds, Mutya got up from her seat, whipped the tears from her face and walked over to Heidi. She screwed up her face and slapped Heidi across her face. A not very lady-like fight broke out. Hair was pulled; faces were scratched and slaps were thrown. Mutya dived on Heidi, pinning her to the seat, and Keisha dove into Mutya, knocking them all to the floor for a vicious fight. The bus was pulled over, and the driver had to come into the back and break it all up.
They stood out on the side of the motorway, Heidi with a red mark on her face and her hair all messed up. Keisha's top was torn, and she had scratch marks on her arms, and next to her was Mutya, the only one still crying from the far more painful vocal injuries then her physical ones. She, too, had a red slap mark on her face and scratch marks on her chest, arms and stomach, which was exposed after her t-shirt had been ripped to pieces.
The driver made sure they had all calmed down before getting them back on the bus; he had Mutya up front with him as it seemed best to keep her away from the others. Once back in London, the girls all went their separate ways and got calls the next day to meet up with their manager to discuss what had happened.
They all met up in a restaurant for lunch and talked about why the fight had broken out and how they might go forward from there.
“I have talked to the record label, and we have decided that some time off might be the best thing to do. Originally we had you down for the week over Christmas and new years,” he said, looking through his diary. “I have arranged it for you guys not to meet up again until January 4th. Any questions?”
Nobody said a thing, so he told them they could go. But as Mutya stood up, he took a hold of her arm and sat her back down again. “Mutya, I need to have a word. It seems the main reason for this fight breaking out is you.”
“What!” she interrupted.
“Hear me out; it's not just those two who have noticed your – let's say, unpolished performances. You have been asking for time off all the time, and, well, I guess you have seen what they have been calling you in the paper.”
“So it's all my fault then.”
“I need you to seriously think if you still want this Mutya. Can you be a good mom and a good singer? I want an answer on the 4th; think about it.”
“…OK,” said Mutya, knowing she had to choose.
“And one more thing, as you have a month off, try and go to the gym or something; the newspapers are really having a field day with you.”
Mutya went home to her kid and started to think deeply about her future. She couldn't do both, but didn't want to give either up. She thought some more over a home cooked lunch and continued to think about it over dinner, seconds and dessert. After thirds on dessert, she felt too full to think about it so she went and gave baby Kate a bath before putting her to bed. That night, she sat up quite late with her mom, talking about the choice she was forced to make. They came to the conclusion not to let it rest on her mind and to enjoy the month off. She felt in January she would know what to do with her future so she enjoyed a few packs of crisps before bed.
With her weight temporarily off her mind, Mutya was free to enjoy the build-up to Kate's first Christmas. She went out and bought presents for everybody she knew and spared nearly no expense. She got decorations for her parents' place, where she was still mainly living, and decorations for Jay's flat which she stayed at a few nights a week. A major thing about Christmas is the food: novelty cookies, chocolate, sweets, cake, everything. Both places of residence were fully stocked by her hand and constantly being replenished whenever spare room appeared in the fridge or cupboards.
Mutya would get up at 7:00-ish in the morning with Kate and give her a bottle and get her bathed and dressed. Then, it was time for her breakfast, eating either cereal or, if somebody was up to keep an eye on Kate, a nice big cooked breakfast to get her started for the day. Mid-morning, Mutya would take Kate out for a walk, always going to a nearby shop to get something to snack on around the park like a tube of Pringles or a pack of biscuits. Back at home, it was time for lunch, and once Kate was taken care of, she was free to eat. In the afternoon, Mutya usually popped out to the shops for either presents or food, so Jay or her mom would have to look after the baby. Once she was back from the shops, she was in for the night, and she usually got changed into her joggers and a t-shirt, instead of the clothes she wore out. She would then have snacks, dinner, dinner, dessert, dessert, dessert, snacks, snacks and a little something to help her sleep, usually chocolaty. Her social life was near dead, other then her phone calls, but she did not care at all because she had Kate, who was better then any friend she could have.
Christmas rolled up faster then expected, and she woke up Christmas morning to the sound of Kate crying. She rolled out of bed, holding her stomach which still felt full after all she had eaten the night before. She'd done one last big shop on Christmas Eve and bought so much food, there wasn't enough room to store it all. The solution had been to eat what couldn't be put away, which included an entire cheesecake at 11:30 at night. She had to rush off to the toilet herself before she could deal with Kate, after all she had eaten the night before.
Soon, she was downstairs with the family, opening presents, most of which were from her. The lounge filled with wrapping paper, and the whole family appeared to be having a great time. Mutya only got some clothes and beauty accessories like makeup and hair products. She took more pleasure in the giving then the receiving, and she got to unwrap all of Kate's things so it felt like she got more then she actually did. Mutya soon began to feel hungry and had a few bowls of cereal because the kitchen was too busy with Christmas dinner for her to cook a fry up. The morning flew past in a haze of tiding up and snacking; when dinner was ready, Mutya was first into the dining room ready for food.
Kate was asleep, so Mutya was free to concentrate on her food, and, other then asking for things to be passed to her and reading the joke from her cracker, she didn't have any input to the conversation. Mutya's parents, Jay and another two members of family sat at the table, but she out ate them all. Everybody had two plates of food; Mutya had nine almost eating what the other five had eaten combined.
“So, are we ready for Christmas pudding?” asked Mutya's mom.
“Mom, I don't like Christmas pudding!”
“I know, sweetie; that's why I got you a spot of chocolate cake,” she replied, going to the kitchen to return with a large Christmas pudding for the five of them, and then she went and got an even bigger chocolate cake from the kitchen and put it in front of Mutya. Mutya's eyes grew wider then the cake; she sat up in her chair, took a deep breath and then started on the first slice her mom cut off for her. It was roughly an 8th and Mutya finished it off in minutes while sipping on her coke.
“Do you want a refill, babe?” Jay asked Mutya, noticing her glass was near empty.
“Yes, please it's a bit dry. Oh mom, could you get some cream or something? Moisten it up a bit for me,” requested Mutya.
The next slice went down easier with the ice cream, and so did the next after that. When she was about to embark on her fourth. Kate woke up and began to cry.
“Jay, can you? I'm trying to eat,” said Mutya.
After the next slice, she was halfway through and feeling full. She went to the lounge to relax and picked at slice number five, finishing it over 20 minutes. She went for the 6th and struggled to get it down, feeling ill from being so full. It was about then that she and Jay were leaving; she was planning to stay the night with him and most of Boxing Day. She had the bags packed, so she rolled into his car with the baby while he took both of their bags and the remaining quarter of the cake.
As soon as she got into his flat, she put Kate in her cot and undressed down to her underwear. “God, that's better!” she groaned after getting free of her extremely tight jeans and t-shirt. She was growing faster then her clothes, so had suffered her way through Christmas day to keep up appearances with the family.
“God, Mutya, I wanted to say something earlier. Your clothes looked like they would burst open any minute at the dinner table.”
“I know, right, do you mind if I stay in my underwear for a bit, let my belly breath before I squeeze into some joggers or something?”
“Go for it.”
“Thanks, I'm going to the loo, then I'm going to finish that cake.”
“You're still hungry?”
“Not really; I just want to eat,” she replied.
She rubbed her free belly while heading to the bathroom, and then, good to her word, she finished the cake and went into the kitchen for more. She was up and down all evening, getting snacks for the both of them. But she ended up eating nearly all of it herself.
Before she and Jay went to bed she fancied some ice cream; she came back to the lounge with a spoon and the carton. She ate about half on the sofa and the other half in bed, while Jay turned everything off, tidied up a bit and checked on Kate.
Boxing Day was almost as bad as the day before; Mutya cleaned out Jay before going back home and cleaning them out, too. She went to bed, stuffed and wishing her mom had bought her bigger underwear for Christmas.
In the shower the next morning, Mutya noticed more flesh then there used to be. She checked her whole body while washing under the hot water. Her arms felt rounder and softer, with no feeling of muscle at all. Her breasts were bigger - she knew that after giving birth they'd grown, but now they were getting too big for her CC cup bras. Sadly, they were not as perky as they were, but she would rather have the size and wear a good bra then have a flat perky chest. Her thighs had developed cellulite - something she'd noticed start to happen back in the summer - but now they were covered in them and so thick that they met at the top and rubbed together when she walked. She then grabbed her arse and felt cellulite like she had never felt before. The dimples were deep, and each cheek seemed much larger and wobblier then she remembered.
Her stomach had always been her major problem area, but since the baby her gut had gotten big. With both hands, she lifted the flesh that surrounded her middle and dropped it; she watched it bounce up and down before the giggling stopped. She did this a few more times before grabbing handfuls of fat and seeing it spew out between her chubby fingers. After the shower, she decided to face facts and find out what she weighed. She pulled out the scale and, still naked from the shower, stepped on. The number flew past and it stopped at 240lbs, the scale's maximum. She knew she was more then 240lbs from all she had eaten over Christmas, but, as there was no way to find out how big she had gotten, she decided to put it to the back of her mind until January 4th when she would choose her future.
On New Year's Eve, Heidi and Keisha were out at a club; Mutya's parents were at a friends; Jay was out at a club with his friends, and Mutya was sat at home with Kate eating her own body weight in junk food. She went to bed at 3:00 in the morning, not feeling sick from over drinking like she had in past New Year's Eves; she felt sick from another night of overeating.
On the 3rd, Mutya decided to call her manager to tell him her decision. She was sitting in Jay's flat, trying to get dressed to go out but not being able to get her jeans on. She had gotten too big for the world of pop music, and her desire to sing was not as strong as it once was. Being a mom was the obvious choice to her now, so she called him and told him her decision, sitting on the bed with her jeans stuck just below her hips and her belly rolling out onto her lap.
“So you're leaving?”
“Right, well, we will get to work on the greatest hits album then.”
Mutya looked puzzled “No, I am quitting; I'm not doing another album.”
“Your contract obliges you to it, Mutya. You can't just walk out on the band, you're too big for that. We will record the greatest hits album in the next few weeks, and then it will be another few weeks' publicity before you can call it a day.”
“Alright, do you still want me to come to the meeting tomorrow?”
“Yes, you can tell the others yourself, if you don't mind.”
They talked a bit more before Mutya hung up and went to get a snack after stripping down to her underwear, her very tight underwear. Her breasts were spilling out of the cups, and the straps sank deep into her. Her big knickers were stretched to hold her arse, and the waistband was even further sunken into her side then her bra.
“Babe, I have nothing to wear.”
“Go shopping then; I will have Kate.”
“I have nothing to wear shopping; my jeans don't fit.”
“What about your joggers or something? I'm sure you can still get into them.”
“Wear them in public?”
“You're not going in your bra and knickers, are you?” he smirked.
Mutya went and squeezed into her best sweat suit and went out clothes shopping. She hurried to the first shop, so she could get out of the tight clothes and into something more stylish and form-fitting. Plus-size shops are never fun places to be in, and, when you can't fit, things its even more depressing. In and out of the changing room, she went with bigger and bigger things until she found a size that fitted. She bought the best stuff the shop had like some jeans, some very unsexy underwear and a few tops. She changed into her new clothes and went off to a few more shops, hoping she could squeeze into something more stylish and hopefully designer.
She got home with five full bags of clothes and felt a lot better about her current bloated state. She also bought something that had been niggling on her mind, a set of scales that went up to 330lbs. She went to the bathroom, stepped on and waited for the dreaded number. She saw 261lbs and felt sick. She was fat, bloated, sluggish and, even worse, hungry. With her stomach rumbling and the fact she knew there was chocolate in the house, led the inevitable over-indulgence.
The meeting the next day went even worse then she could have imagined, she had next to no sleep because Kate had kept her up all night; she felt a bit sick from eating too many pancakes swimming in far too much maple syrup, cooked by Jay to try and support her for her big day. When she came walking in, Heidi and Keisha, who had obviously been bonding and building a friendship, saw her approach, and they pointed, whispered and laughed as she approached. She sat down, knowing they had been mocking her weight gain, and as they began the meeting, they barley looked at her.
She explained she wanted to leave, and nobody seemed too fussed about the band breaking up.
“I thought you guys would be angry at me?”
“To be honest, even if you said you wanted to stay in the band, we were going to kick you out. We heard you had gained weight, instead of losing it, so we didn't want to be stuck in the group with and even bigger you,” said Heidi.
“You're going to carry on without me?” Mutya asked.
“Yes,” said Keisha sharply.
They carried on talking and were told that they would be rerecording the songs for the greatest hits at the end of the month, and then, over March, they would publicise it and then Mutya would be gone. She went home, feeling bad about herself, and stopped in at a chip shop on the way and didn't leave until she stopped thinking about the being abandoned by her friends and could only think about how stuffed she was and how close she was to throwing up. She went home to her mom's and found her dinner on the table waiting. She couldn't face it yet, but within half an hour she was picking at it. Within a few hours, she was asking for seconds on dessert.
January flew past in a haze of sweets and junk food; the rerecording was only two days' work, and in those two days, they didn't speak more then a few words to each other. The relief of getting out of the studio was great for Mutya, but now she only had a month before she would be back stuck with them over three weeks of March.
On the 1st of March, Mutya was finishing, packing up her bags ready to leave for three weeks. She only had one bag of clothes mainly because she had outgrown everything else. Mutya's eating, if anything, had grown, and now she left the house weighing 312lbs. She felt worried about appearing on TV being so big.
She was practically bullied the moment she got on the tour bus, once the girls saw how big she had gotten.
“Bloody hell, Mutya, you're huge!” said Keisha, seeing her former best friend bulging out of her t-shirt and skintight jeans.
Mutya was silent and sat down away from Keisha in the corner. When Heidi saw her, she had a similar comment that she shared with Mutya without a second thought. From then on, the tone was set for their trip. In front of the cameras, they were all chummy, but once they were alone, then Mutya was the butt of all the jokes or being completely blanked. The papers were almost as mean to her as her so-called friends were, posting unflattering photos of her every other day in the papers or magazines. Mutya wanted to walk out after the first few minutes, but, legally, she had to last the three weeks so she decided to try and enjoy what she could - like all the nice, fitting clothes she got for free and seeing different parts of the country, instead of just the park where she took Kate or the local food shops she often visited.
“Look, two days in and there is a picture of fatty in the paper; look, they still call you 'Sugablob'!”
“Stop it, Heidi.”
“Why should she? It's thanks to you getting this fat that caused all the problems in the first place. You nearly ended the group with your dodgy performances and weight gain. And don't try and defend yourself by blaming it on the baby. I think we have earnt the right to say what we want about you. Now you're leaving, we are going to have to pick up the pieces again and try and get some credibility back after turning into a bloody freak show.”
“Stop calling me fat!”
“Why? What are you going to do?”
“Give you another slap, Heidi!”
“I would like to see you try; you're probably too fat to even get up and walk over here, anyway. Shouldn't you be eating, anyway? You don't get that fat so fast by only have one course breakfasts!”
“I do normally eat more, but I…”
“Well, go and eat then; go on, I insist you go and pig out.”
“But you were just calling me fat. Why do you want me to eat, Keisha?”
“Because I don't want you ever coming back. If you get a bit fatter, then there will be no way you can get slim again and try and get back in the group. Here is £20; go and spend it all on chocolate and eat it all,” demanded Keisha.
“What if I say no?”
“Then me and Heidi will make your life a living hell for the next few weeks. If you eat what we say, then we won't be so mean to you, deal?”
Mutya took a few seconds to think about it and found the option of eating loads of sweets and not being teased 24-7 better then having to endure tiny meals and being bullied for three weeks straight. Mutya went and bought all the chocolate and ate it all with a smile, just like Heidi and Keisha had. Making Mutya eat became their new hobby, and they forced her to eat lots of fatty foods. One day she ate nothing but chocolate bars; another she had to eat an entire cake per meal on top of all the snacks she was made to eat. She never once vomited from overeating but felt like she was about to nearly every waking hour. While doing interviews, she had to act perky when she really just wanted to curl up and massage her bloated stomach.
Heidi and Keisha were having a ball seeing Mutya, the girl who nearly ruined their careers, in so much discomfort and, on their last bus trip together back to London, Mutya stuffed herself with the pile of chocolate bars and crisps Heidi and Keisha bought her from a petrol station. When it came to what appeared to be their permanent goodbye, Keisha and Heidi just walked out of the bus and said, “See ya!”
Mutya got a taxi back home, dying for the toilet and to see Kate. She got both and was so happy to be home, she happily had the first slice of a massive welcome home cake, and by the end of the day she had the last slice, too, after eating six of the eight slices.
She stood in the bathroom, removing her makeup before bed, when she noticed the scales after dropping a cotton bud. She knew she had put on a few over the tour because her clothes were all replaced over the three weeks. She hopped on and it went right up to 330lbs. She assumed it was just above that because it struggled to reach the 330lbs. At least she was free, free to be a mom, a daughter and a girlfriend.
Kate's birthday soon came, and Mutya bought her loads of presents and loads of birthday treats. Kate was now eating solid food, and, just like her mom, she had an appetite. She was a chubby little barrel of fun; she was a happy baby as long as she was eating, and Mutya always made sure she was given food whenever she wanted it. After all, what right did she have to stop Kate eating when she was eating so much herself? Other then one slice of Kate's birthday cake, she had it all and nearly all of the food she had gotten for her daughter.
Mother and daughter contently ate side by side; other then the scale of food, they looked pretty similar in the way they both concentrated on each morsel they consumed. By Mutya's 21st birthday, she was getting really big, and so was her appetite, sometimes not bothering to dress and just spending the day in front of the TV, eating. For her birthday, she got gifts like diet books and a gym subscription, but she went for the birthday cake, pushing aside everything she couldn't eat.
She was spending day and night at her parents', and during the day was pampered like a queen, food constantly being bought out to her before she could even think about asking for it. She was paying for all of the food and eating it all, apart from what she gave to Kate. She went to bed stuffed, with Jay going home when she went to bed. He didn't stay the night at her parents' place but, when Mutya stayed with him they just shared a bed together as their sex life was dead. They hadn't slept together for months and only a few times since the baby was born. She was either too full and didn't want to be touched or not in the mood. Jay was going crazy because he needed to be with somebody but didn't want to leave Mutya.
A few days after Mutya's birthday, he finally gave into temptation and after a few drinks in the pub after work he started talking to a woman at the bar. One thing led to another, and he found himself with her in the pub toilets, letting 18 months worth of pressure go. He didn't even know the young blonde's name and ran out of there and drove off home. The guilt began to set in as he thought of Mutya waiting for him at home, so he stopped in at the shops and bought all the sweets he could get his hands on. He filled bags with sugar-filled snacks and got back home to see his girlfriend.
His 380lb girlfriend was lying on the sofa, sitting in a mess of empty food packaging. She was just in a bra and knickers, which had more material then some of the dresses she used to wear. Her belly looked full, but Mutya was happy with her gift. As he watched her stuff herself, crumbs falling into her deep cleavage, chewing with her mouth open, he felt less guilty. She had let herself go so much and didn't even want sex - why shouldn't he have something? They were barely even boyfriend and girlfriend, more flatmates that shared a bed.
A few days later, he slept with somebody else, and then another person a few days after that. Every time he came home, he bought food for Mutya, something to try and ease the guilt he was feeling every time he betrayed her. As with any affair of this nature, he soon got caught out. He walked in with pizza boxes in his arms and lipstick on his face. Mutya went mental and began a two-hour screaming marathon. Jay was not talking anything lying down, saying she let herself go and won't sleep with him. She left for her mom's place at 1:30 in the morning and planned to stay there for a while until she could sort herself out.
The break-up wasn't too upsetting because they'd fallen out of love ages ago; it was the betrayal that hurt her more then anything. This major event in her life bought her out of the rut she was in, and she suddenly got a whole new lease on life. It was now mid-June and the 400lb Mutya moved back into her old flat to live there on her own full time. She decided to go the gym and she started writing again. She couldn't live on her savings forever so writing songs seemed the obvious thing to do and a great way to make a lot of money for very little effort.
The flat needed a lot of work to make it liveable for her because it wasn't very fat friendly. The furniture was all far too flimsy to hold her massive bulk, and the chairs at her dining table had arms so they had to go. She needed a new fridge, which could hold more then a day's worth of food, and even a new dining table to hold a full meal on. Her bed had to be replaced with a metal one, and her bath also had to be replaced because there was no way she could physically fit into it by a long shot. She got a Jacuzzi installed instead, and a few other things around the place, including making the spare bedroom into Kate's bedroom.
Mutya's new health kick nearly ended on her first trip to the gym; she was in her tight sweat suit, and the second she entered the main body of the gym, people stared at her. It was filled with skinny girls and muscle bound men and nobody more then 10lbs overweight. She felt fatter then ever as she went to the running machine. She watched herself plod along in the wall mirror - her breasts flopping up and down, her thighs rubbing and wobbling and her gut swaying from side to side with each step. Her face was red, and she poured with sweat after just seconds of jogging. She could also see people on other running machines staring with shock and horror and people walking past her sniggering and pointing. She felt like she was back with Heidi and Keisha again, but now she was fatter, and there were more people staring. She left shortly after and didn't even plan to return.
A few days later at her mom's place, she was sitting, enjoying some cake with her mom and complaining about how she had been treated at the gym.
“I think it's great you want to try and get fit. Are you sure you're not going back?”
“I can't go back there, mom, you should have seen how blatant they were being about it!”
“So what are you going to do?”
“Dunno, nothing, I suppose.”
“You know I heard of something that might be great for you. This mother and child thing down at the leisure centre. A woman down the road goes with her little boy; she told me all about it. Baby aquatics or something it's called - where you and the baby spend time in the pool. It gets Kate used to the water, which is never a bad thing, and she says its good exercise, too.”
“But I will have to wear a swimming costume, if I can find one big enough.”
“Don't be silly. Anyway, it's all just new mothers there, and they are all carrying a bit of baby weight.”
“I will look into it,” said Mutya, deciding to give it a try.
That Tuesday, she attended her first meeting, after a very embarrassing shopping trip to get a swimming costume. She was too big for all of the plus size shops, so she had to buy the biggest she could find and even that was really tight. It did have a slimming effect, holding in all her blubber, but her circulation was being cut off, and the material felt like it would rip open. She was too big to get changed in a normal cubical, so went into the disabled one and sorted herself and Kate out.
They went to the pool and felt a very familiar embarrassment. There were roughly a dozen women and children there, all late 20s or early 30s, and none of them more then 160lbs. They were all a bit chubby from the baby weight, but all so skinny next to the massive Mutya. Even Kate was fatter then the other babies, but, instead of being ridiculed, they all smiled and welcomed her into the water. She felt shy and didn't say much, but the acceptance was a refreshing change from the dirty looks she got everywhere else. After the splashing about in the pool, she was even invited to join them for a bite to eat. She turned them down, but thanked them for being so nice and went home. She felt great about herself and great after doing some exercise, without being laughed out of the building.
She attended every week from then on and soon began to make friends with the other women, even though she was nearly 7 years younger then the next youngest and almost 250lbs of pure fat heavier then the next biggest. She went out with them, and they went to each other's houses for coffee and to let the kids play together. Mutya was happy with her new mumsey friends and didn't miss her old lifestyle at all. This little bit of exercise made her much fitter, even though her weight climbed week after week.
Finally, it was Kate's first day of school. It was September, and she was four-years-old while Mutya was 24. Kate had never been slim a day in her life and looked like she was twice as heavy as all of the other kids, though just as tall as both her parents were not that tall. Mutya felt guilty, leaving Kate alone in a room full of strangers, so she waddled off to a nearby shop for some snacks. Mutya now weighed 587lbs, but was almost as mobile as she'd been at 400lbs, thanks to the small bit of exercise she was getting. Her belly now flopped down her thighs to just above her knees. Her thighs had gotten so big they rolled over her sturdy knees - and so round they rubbed all the way down. Both arse cheeks had near inch deep cellulite all over them, and each cheek swayed and gyrated with every step she took. Her breasts were now F-cup and only formed cleavage when wearing a bra. Her face was much fatter then ever, with her cheeks puffy and her chins surrounding her neck.
She was getting so fat, it was hard to take care of Kate. Picking things up off the floor was near impossible, and standing up for a long time was hard, too. Mutya still lived on her own and had more money then ever, but she was thinking about moving back to her parents so they could help her out. She felt selfish even thinking about it, so she decided to put it out of her head for now and went to the shops to buy a few bags of sweets.
That day she ate more then she had for a while, as she had nothing much to do without having Kate to look after. The next day was the same and the day after that. Even though Kate was only in school a few hours a day, Mutya fitted in a lot more eating, and her weight gain started to increase again. By Christmas, she weighed 651lbs and turned up at her parent's place bulging out of her biggest outfit and eating the last of a chocolate bar. She had Kate by her side and bags of presents by her feet.
“Hi, mom, Merry Christmas! Give us a hug,” said Mutya, walking into her mom, who was knocked back a few inches by her daughter's vast body. She put her arms around Mutya, but couldn't get past her massive cleavage and huge belly.
“Wow, Mutya, you look…”
“You can say it, mom, fat! I know I have put on a few lbs, but it's Christmas so who cares, right?” said Mutya, heading in and taking a seat with relief to get off her feet. Her mom got all the bags in and put them with all of the other stuff.
Kate got the most presents because she was the only child there, but, like her mom, she was more interested in the laid out plates of Christmas snacks. Mutya got the usual, like toiletries and vouchers, but her main present was going to be the Christmas dinner. She was getting an entire turkey to herself, along with the rest of the family turkey. Plus there would be dessert, which her mom was keeping a secret.
Mutya took her seat on the big, sturdy armless chair, pulled her black joggers down, giving her belly some room and rubbing her hands with anticipation. Mutya went into her turkey with gusto and stripped the bird down to its bones in no time. She then emptied out the vegetable dishes before taking out the half a turkey her family had left. She wasn't feeling that full so when dessert came out she felt disappointed as it was just a chocolate cake, much like she one she had every year.
“Is that it?”
“…Oh, I get ya,” said Mutya, cutting off a quarter and pouring cream all over it. Then the other, and then the last half, went down almost as fast as the first. As soon as Mutya was done, another cake came out to replace it. She ate it in eight slices this time, taking it a bit slower. The third cake took out what remained of her appetite, and then came the flood of snacks, more then she was ever given at a Christmas, left her on the familiar verge of being sick. When she left that night, she was carrying a cake in one arm and a bag of Kate's stuff in the other. She would come back for the rest another day as mother and daughter both went home, stuffed, full of food.
Mutya got Kate's other things the next day, and, other then that, she didn't go out until the day after New Year's Day to buy food. The Christmas stocks were all gone, and she was hungry from no breakfast, after letting Kate finish the last of the cereal. She squeezed back into her outfit and bought something she had been meaning to for a long while, a laptop. Going shopping all the time was a lot of trouble; she could only carry so much, and getting in and out of taxis was tiresome and embarrassing. She could now do her shopping over the Internet and get it all delivered to the door for just a little bit more cash.
Mutya only went out to take Kate to school or pick her up. On Kate's 5th birthday, Mutya's mom invited them around to spend the day. Mutya got into her only outfit that fitted, a big, unflattering blue dress. She came through the door, weighing 739lbs, red faced, sweating and bulging out of her dress at all the seams.
“What?” she replied, slowly waddling to the sofa and filling it all with her titanic arse and nearly breaking it.
“Fat? I think I am retaining water or something. There is no way I should be this big.”
“What do you weigh?”
“Dunno, 600, maybe 650 at a push.”
“How can you still get about?”
“It's hard to even get out of bed now, mom. But I have to look after Kate, so I get up and do what I have to do.”
“Right, that's it! You can't stay on your own; you're moving back in here.”
“You must be joking; there isn't enough room for me and Kate.”
“We will make room,” said her mom, as the ball started rolling on Mutya's move. She couldn't do much herself, just sign the papers to rent out the flat again. Movers were hired, and her personal stuff was put in her parent's house, including her extra strong bed. The stuff that wasn't staying in the flat went into storage.
The idea of Mutya moving back with her parents was for them to help look after Kate and her to try and lose a bit of weight, but Mutya didn't realise it. She carried on the same, and, if anything, she ate more, as she didn't have to look after Kate. On her 25th birthday, she clocked in at 772lbs, too fat for her clothes and only now wearing specialized bra and knickers that were really tight on her.
“Mutya, I got you some diet books and…”
“Oh, diet books, thanks, mom!”
“Look, Mutya, I think you should use them.”
“Do I have to?”
“You're not a child anymore. I can't make you do anything.”
“OK, well, I will just have some more to eat then.”
Mutya got on her laptop and did some ordering, having it sent over for her and her chubby daughter to eat.
By that Christmas, Mutya had grown to 955lbs and had been bedridden for months. Her mom was looking after her hand and foot, while looking after Kate, too. Mutya couldn't even get up for the toilet, so her mom had to clean her up, and she couldn't shower, so her mom had to hand wash her with a cloth. For this Christmas dinner, Mutya had three turkeys to herself along with twice as much vegetables as the year before and six cakes, which she ate from her bed, along with lbs of snacks.
The blob of fat that was Mutya just laid in her bed, eating day after day, with Kate spending most of her time at home and sitting next to her mom, eating alongside her.
Ten years on, Kate and her Nan, who had brought her up, were eating Christmas dinner with Mutya's urn sitting on the mantel at the end of the dining table. Kate was now 15-years-old and in her last year of school, looking forward to leaving after her exams. She had never been slim, and during puberty she'd exploded, now weighing 486lbs and showing no sign of slowing down, eating almost as much as Mutya had eleven years ago for her Christmas dinner. She outweighed all the students and all members of staff at school, and every day of her school life she was teased over her weight. If anything, the teasing made her eat more, so she just got fatter and fatter.
Leaving school that June, she weighed a hefty 554lbs, too fat for everything but one pair of underwear and lying in her mom's old bed, asking for food to be bought in just like her mom, Mutya.