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The Taste Tester
By RVGleason

Ralph took another look at himself in the mirror while he brushed his hair. He wanted to look his best when he went for his job interview at Millie’s Bakery. He had recently lost his job as a cook at the local diner. His former boss had accused him of eating up the profits. Ralph looked down at his rounded belly in the mirror. "Well," he thought, "I didn’t think the boss was going to miss that whole chicken." After he was fired, Ralph went to Millie’s Bakery to buy a dozen donuts. He always bought his donuts and pastries at Millie’s, not only because they tasted so good, but also to enjoy Millie’s company. She was always giving her customers a big smile when they entered. But even some of Ralph’s friends noted that Millie seemed to smile even more brightly whenever Ralph entered the shop. He told Millie what happened at the diner, and Millie’s eyes seem to twinkle as she listened.

"You know what, Ralph?" Millie said sweetly, "I could use some help here at the bakery. I’ve been looking for a taste tester for such a long time, and I think you could fill the job nicely. Now, you come into the shop bright and early tomorrow morning, and you show me what you can do.” Ralph was very grateful, and he thanked her, barely noticing Millie’s widely grinning face. Now, he rushed as fast as his 240 pound frame could carry him to get to Millie’s on time for his first day of work.

Ralph got to the bakery at 7:30 am and Millie open the door of the bakery and warmly greeted Ralph in. Ralph nervously entered, and didn’t notice that Millie locked the door behind him and discretely placed a sign on the door that read "Shop Closed: Taking Inventory."

"I see you got here on time, Ralph," Millie observed. "I like that. Now then, follow me to the kitchen and we’ll get started." Ralph nodded and walked through the kitchen door, stepping sideways in order to walk-in, Millie smiling as she watched. Ralph was impressed by how clean and spotless the kitchen was. And the aroma of baked goods filled the air and Ralph breathed in the sweet smell. He could smell some fresh baked cakes but they were nowhere to be seen in the immaculate kitchen. Millie walked over to another door. "Right this way, Ralph," she said sweetly. Ralph followed and saw that there was a furnished room at the other side of the door. "I live here at the back of the bakery," Millie explained, "that way I have more time to bake everything for the shop." She pointed at a table and Ralph’s eyes nearly dropped out of their sockets. The table was covered with loads of cakes and pies of all types. Ralph found himself drooling at the incredible spread of pastries Millie walked over to the table and picked up knife and sliced a very large piece of cherry cheese cake, and held the piece under Ralph’s nose. The sweet smell of the cheese cake made Ralph drool again.

"Well," Millie practically purred, "since you’re trying out for my taste tester, tell me what you think of this cheese cake." Ralph took the slice and took a big bite. The cake tasted heavenly, and his delight was easily telegraphed by his smiling face.

"It’s delicious," he said between bites. "Is this your recipe? It’s wonderful."

"I’m glad you like it," Millie grinned, "I made it with extra butter and yeast, helps to bring out the flavor."

"It sure does," Ralph agreed, as he found himself finishing off the cake. Millie had a look of delight as Ralph licked his finger of crumbs.

"Hey, there are more cakes here, please help yourself, Ralph." Ralph didn’t have to be asked twice as he reached for a slice of crumb cake, and had another slice, and another, till the cake was all gone. Millie kept offering Ralph cakes, and Ralph continued to devour them with delight. Of the two, Millie seemed to take even more delight with each cake Ralph put away.

Ralph was chewing away at an apple strudel when he said between bites, "Say Millie, do you have something I can wash this down with?”

"Sure," Millie smiled, pulling out an arm chair right next to the table full of cakes. "Sit right here, and I’ll bring you something.” Ralph sat in the arm chair, barely squeezing himself between the arms, as he reached for an apple pie. Ralph couldn’t believe how good all these pastries were. Soon, Millie returned to the table with a large canister and a large, 20oz glass. She pulled a nozzle from the canister and filled the glass with sweet cream. "Here you go, Ralph. Drink it all down." Ralph reached for the glass and started drinking. The sweet cream tasted wonderful going down his throat. Soon, he drank the contents of the 20oz glass. As he wiped his mouth with a napkin, he noticed Millie had refilled the glass and handed it back to him. Ralph was starting to feel a little full and stared at the glass. Millie smiled and brought the glass to his lips.

"Come on, now Ralph," Millie sweetly coaxed. "I know you can finish this glass too. Come on, come on." Ralph blushed a little and started drinking the cream from the glass as Millie held it. "That’s it, all gone, all gone," she cooed and Ralph finished the drink. He smiled at how good it tasted. Millie smiled as she patted Ralph’s now bulging belly. The touch of her hand felt wonderful, and Ralph blushed. He noticed that the arm chair started feeling tight and he tried to raise himself up. He was alarmed to find that he was stuck in the chair.

"Gee," Ralph said in a worried tone, "I can’t get out of this chair."

"Don’t worry," Millie smiled, "I’ll help you." She tugged on Ralph’s arm as Ralph tried to push. After a couple of minutes of struggle, Ralph popped out of the chair and plopped on the floor, belly up.

"Wow," Ralph said exhausted, " I didn’t think I could get out of that chair."

"I was almost afraid you wouldn’t either," Millie said with a grin.

"Let me try and get up," Ralph said as he tried to lift himself off the floor. Millie grabbed his arm and try to help him lift himself, but Ralph could barely budge from the floor.

"My, this is hard," Millie said, still smiling.

"Boy," Ralph blushed, feeling a little embarrassed, "I’m really loaded down."

Millie's grin become a little wider as she said, "Maybe I should bring the cakes to you," as she reached for a large chocolate cake and brought it to the floor next to Ralph’s face.

Ralph blushed again. "Gee, that’s nice of you. I wouldn’t want you to go through so much trouble," he said as he eyed here slicing a large piece of cake.

"It’s no trouble at all," she cooed as she held the cake over his mouth.

"Well, I appreciate it Millie, and, mmf!” Ralph barely got the words out of his mouth before Millie stuffed the chocolate cake into it. After each chew and swallow, Millie stuffed piece after piece into Ralph’s mouth.

After he had eaten the entire cake, Millie looked at him, and smiling said, "I bet you’re thirsty again." Ralph nodded his head, and Millie reached behind her and rolled the large gallon canister of sweet cream next to Ralph. Ralph saw that Millie also pulled from a nearby shelf a funnel.

"What’s with the funnel?" he asked. Millie giggled and stuffed the spout of the funnel in Ralph’s mouth. With her other hand, she pulled the nozzle of the canister and placed it at the opening of the funnel. She winked at Ralph as she turned on canisters faucet, and he felt the sweet cream going through the funnel down his throat.

"Just relax and enjoy it, Ralph," Millie winked as she continue to turn the faucet.

Ralph lost track of time as he continue to guzzle the sweet cream. It tasted so good that he closed his eyes with pleasure. Soon, he felt the cream start to sputter in the funnel, and he knew that the canister was emptying. He heard a strange sound and opened his eyes and saw that Millie had rolled another canister of cream next to him, and before he could say anything, Millie pulled the nozzle from the empty canister from the funnel and placed the nozzle of the full canister into the funnels opening and turned on the faucet of the new cannistser. Again, Ralph tasted the sweet cream going down his throat, and he enjoyed every drop of it as much as Millie enjoyed watching him gulp it down. Every once in awhile, she pulled the funnel out his mouth and stuffed some more cake into Ralph's mouth. After swallowing the cake, Millie replaced the funnel and turned on the faucet. They repeated this action throughout the morning.

Finally, Millie pulled the funnel from Ralph’s mouth and sweetly whispered in his ear, "I think you’re done for now.” Ralph opened his eyes and was surprised at the size of his own belly. He looked like he had swallowed an inflated jumbo beach ball. He watched as Millie playfully patted his mountainous belly.

Millie giggled "Say, patting your belly is fun!” and gave it another poke.

Ralph giggled back, "Hey, that tickles!," and chuckled some more.

Millie looked Ralph in the eye and said in a naughty voice, "You think I could play on your belly?”

"Well, gee, I don’t know if that’s--OOOMPH!” Before he could protest, Ralph felt Millie climb on top of his huge ball of a belly. Once she was on top, she playfully poke and squeezed his belly.

"Ooooh!," she cooed, "you’re soft, like a big pillow! Think you can support a bounce or two?" Before he could say anything, Ralph felt Millie bouncing up and down his belly like a trampoline. His huge belly swayed back and forth with each bounce. Despite the bouncing, Ralph didn’t feel any pain, like his stomach was well cushioned. "Oooh!” he mockingly moan, "now I know what a water bed feels like!." Millie giggled again, and stopped her bouncing and began caressing Ralph'ss belly and softly planted kisses all over it.

Ralph closed his eyes and enjoyed the intimacy of the moment, when he felt another strange sensation. He looked up, and it appeared to him that his belly was getting bigger. "Say, is it my imagination, or is my belly swelling up?" Millie grinned like the cat that swallowed the canary. She slid down Ralph's belly and took a small bag off the shelf. From the bag, she pulled out a small brown object that looked like a piece of candy. She plopped the brown object into Ralph’s mouth, and he chewed and swallowed involuntarily.

Millie smiled as he swallowed and said, "Remember I said I put a lot of yeast in the cakes?" Ralph nodded his head, puzzled as Millie plop another piece of the strange candy into his mouth. Millie smiled as she let Ralph see the name on the bag of ‘candy’ she was holding: Fast, Rising Yeast. "Have some more?" she cooed as she plopped another piece down his throat.

Ralph gulped as he felt the yeast he thought was candy suddenly go to work inside of him, and he watched transfixed as his belly continued swelling, till the buttons on his shirt, which had been straining all this time, began to pop off, one at a time. His belly, no longer restrained by the buttons, continued to swell larger and larger. After what seemed like hours, but was actually minutes, Ralph’s swelling belly slowly stopped. Ralph breathed a sigh of relief, and caught his reflection in a nearby mirror. His belly was huge, like a captured weather balloon. His gaze turned back to Millie who was grinning with obvious delight at the mountainous man at her feet.

Ralph blushed and grinned, "Boy, I feel like a beached whale!" Millie crouched down and looked dreamily into Ralph’s eyes and softly kissed him on the lips, her free hand slowly and lovingly caressing his soft, round belly.

Her eyes met his, and she kissed his chubby cheeks as she whispered, "You know how much I love whales?" and again planted a soft kiss on his lips. She leaned back and rested her head on Ralph’s huge, soft belly, using it like an overstuffed pillow. She snuggled Ralph's belly and planted sweet kisses all over it. Looking back at Ralph’s happy, beaming face, she grinned back and whispered softly before kissing him again, "Looks like I found me the right man to be my taste tester." As they kissed with their eyes closed, Ralph was oblivious to the fact that Millie was reaching for the nozzle of another cream canister.

RVGleason. 2002