The Door In Golden Mall


Breaths there an FA with soul so dead, who never to himself has said: "Let's go to the mall"?

Like most FAs, I enjoy shopping malls. All things considered they can be a fairly fat-friendly environment: accessible benches for the easily winded, plus-sized shops (even if most of 'em stop at size twenty-eight), handy-dandy food court - all designed to give you a positive fat shopping experience. Sure, some of the stores may cramped, but as an FA I've never complained when my wife has had to squeeze past me. . .

Bottom line is: malls can be a great place for a fat admirer to Girl Watch. A month ago - and the sight still lingers, tantalizingly - I saw a young couple in one of the local malls. The woman was super-sized and lovely, placidly waiting on a concrete bench while her husband bought her an iced mocha from a nearby Gloria Jean's, she was at least four-hundred pounds: a living counterpoint to every moron who's plastered a "No Fat Chicks" sticker on the bumper of their car.

This was not an atypical sighting either. Not only are you likely to find fat adults in your local mall, but couples often appear more comfortable in this setting. If your partner's feeling unsure of herself, saying things like, "Nobody could be attracted to a fat thing like me," then take her to the mall. You're practically guaranteed to spot at least one other FA and the object of their admiration.

"Door in Golden Mall" is the second story set in this fabulous shopping story. Both it and its predecessor ("The Mall Women") were written for BUF back when the mag was still doping original fiction. "Door" appeared in the November, 1994 issue.

Outside of a few bits of editorial tweaking, the story is as it appeared in the magazine.


October, 1997

-- Wilson Barbers