Emblems, Inc.


"Emblems, Inc." first saw its appearance as a self-published booklet in 1990. It was the first of several attempts at self-publication - "Body Switch" also appeared as a booklet, and I did six issues of a fiction newsletter entitled Wilson Barbers Quarterly. (I was working in an office with a real shit-loose attitude towards office copying at the time and spent many weekends furtively running off pages.) I remember rushing "Emblems" out so I could take copies to the national convention of NAAFA in Chicago. Barely sold enough there to pay for dinner in the hotel restaurant; the majority of sales were to fat women, buying a little something for their guyfriends.

The initial inspiration for the tale was a late sixties British sell-yer-soul-to-the-devil comedy, "Bedazzled," starring Peter Cook and Dudley Moore. That flick contained a series of comic personifications of the Seven Deadly Sings, including a female version of Gluttony. I first saw that flick as a horny adolescent, and it had great impact on me. I carried Miz Gluttony's image with me for years, and, not surprisingly, she got bigger as the time passed. Recently, I got to see the film for the first time since my college years, and I was dismayed to see how small the actress really was: just barely super-sized, she was.

Still, my memory Gluttony lives on in "Emblems, Inc."

This is a revised version of the story, incidentally; certain scenes have been expanded upon, hopefully to the story's benefit.


January, 1997