Alien Ambassador

I awoke with a start. Actually it wasn't much of a start considering I had been waking up for roughly a month now. I had been in hyper sleep for about ten years now; the wake up cycle started about 27 days ago. Several years ago the wake up process took only a week, and felt like you were woken up with a bucket of ice water. Now it just felt like I was roughly shaken awake. My head slowly started to clear and I reached over for the glass of water that would be there for me. I was so thirsty! I guzzled down the cool water in seconds, and then started trying to stand. It took quite a while. My muscles had shriveled slightly from disuse, but they had been exercised for the last twenty-seven days while I slept. Another change was that I had been brought down to almost zero body fat. In the last month my body had used up whatever reserves I had. Finally standing up I looked at myself in the mirror near the sleep cocoon. I looked pretty good. I needed a haircut and shave, but otherwise not bad.

For the next thirty minutes I did the prescribed exercises after waking, and then took a shower, haircut and shave. I felt much better, much more aware after it was all done. Finally I sat down at my desk and checked my mission and any messages.

My mission hadn't changed in any significant way while I was asleep. I worked for the Federal Government as an ambassador to sentient alien races that we discovered. We'd only discovered two others before we came into contact with the Shilari. The Shilari were pretty unique, well actually they weren't, which made them incredibly unique. They were just like humans! The other races were intelligent but had fallen pretty far from the human tree. The Shilari were almost exactly like us, and so we were very eager to meet with them. The standard meeting process takes several years. First it usually takes that long just because of the distance involved, and second, when two entirely new races meet it's best to take your time. We began friendly communications with them about twelve years ago, right after we discovered each other. We were able to communicate, and even send non-living materials back and forth. We studied each other, and after two years decided on who would be the ambassador.

There were really only two choices. Me, and Dr. Steve Ander. Steve was a colleague of mine, and was the one who actually discovered the Shilari. He made the case that since he found them he should go there. I made the argument that since he didn't know a damn thing about politics that I should go. After pulling a few strings and favors, it was decided that I would go, and Dr. Ander would continue researching and guiding me as we went along. I was due to arrive there in about two days. The trip for me was a lot longer than for non-living material. For non-living material, and communication signals, the trip could be made in a few seconds. We would open up a dimensional hole between our galaxy and the Shilari home world, and then send the ship through. Living beings couldn't handle the stress of that journey though. We had to fly along at sub-light speeds in hyper sleep, that's why it took ten years or so to reach them. Another ship would be leaving from Earth right about now. This would have the replacement ambassador who would arrive in ten years and her ship would take me home. After that I'd be financially secure forever for performing such a great service for both races. Now I checked over any recent developments.

Nothing major had changed, we were still having excellent relations with the Shilari, and a steady flow of tradable materials had been passing back and forth between our two races. The only thing that wasn't being traded equally was food. With the first shipment certain microorganisms had gotten onto the Shilari planet (called Shin) and caused a minor epidemic. They weren't eager for that to happen again. Another reason was that apparently food from Earth just couldn't satisfy the nutritional needs of the Shilari. According to the report that Steve sent they had a higher metabolism. The food they ate had approximately three times the calories of food that we ate. Hmmm. That was a problem. The food was safe for us to eat; though it would be rather fattening. I looked down at my washboard stomach. Oh well, I guess I was going to put on a few pounds. I wouldn't be getting any Earth food for ten years so I had to watch my diet and exercise.

Some more cultural data had been accumulated. They were remarkably similar to us, they even had some of the same customs. I spent the rest of the night studying the ten years of reports, and answered a few of the thousands of e-mail messages that had accumulated during my sleep. I would be arriving in a short time. With some reluctance I finally answered the urgent message that Steve had been sending me ever since I woke up. I never liked Steve, he was a weirdo, and he was probably still pissed at me that I had gotten the job and he didn't. His annoying, whiny voice came over the speaker loud and clear. I winced when I heard it. Ten years may have gone by, but to me it was like last week.

"Hey Jim! How are you? Did you sleep well?" That was a dumb question and he knew it. That was just like him though. He was just a dork, and there was no wonder why I was picked over him.

"Yeah just fine. Have you got anything for me?"

"You bet. In your travel gear you'll notice a little earpiece and a jaw microphone. Before you land put those on, that way we can communicate with each other the entire time and not look too conspicuous. The earpiece and microphone will also translate their language for you as you hear and speak. We finally translated it about five years ago. It was quite fascinating actually, they have a 39 sound phonetic alphabet and they also..."

"Sounds great, so it will translate for me the whole time huh? Super." You had to cut off Steve, he loved to get into these long tangents, and just annoy the Hell out of you. "Anything else?"

"No, it's all in my reports. We'll be monitoring you using satellites. They'll be throwing you a party when you get there, no surprise. Just like us on Earth it's important to the Shilarins that you eat a lot at the party, and show a lot of appreciation for their food. You can expect to put on some weight Jim. At this party though don't let that bother you, you want to make a good impression right?"

"Yeah. That's not a problem. I've lost plenty of weight from the sleep, and could stand to put on a pound or two. I'll be really watching my weight though later on. I'm sure they'll understand."

"Oh yeah I'm sure they will also. All right you take care now, I'll probably give you a call at the party just to check in on you. If you're having any problems, just let me know. You can talk to me by whispering to yourself the code word "area code". This will put a connection to us and turn off the translator; it's like having a phone in your head. Have fun at the party."

"Thanks Steve." I said and shut off the connection. I spent some more time boning up on the reports that were made and got some sleep. I would be arriving in the evening for their party in just a few hours. When I awoke I got dressed and made some final preparations, such as studying more of the customs that we had discovered, and learning a few of the niceties. I found a device that I had to make sure I kept with me at all times. It was a watch with a special function. It was designed to tell time and the date, and other little things that watches do. The most important thing it had was a calorie counter. The Shilari term for calorie was 'chilen' (cheelen). It would count the chilen in any food that I was about to eat and then convert it to calories. One chilen was roughly three calories. I also found a reminder on the device that it takes about 3,000 calories to produce one pound of fat, and so would only take 1,000 chilen to gain a pound. This would come in handy.

I arrived in a half-hour after my ten-year voyage. Remembering Steve's advice I had eaten very little all day, and was very hungry. The Shilarins were incredibly happy to see me, and had a parade waiting for me. I could see the effect our contact had on their culture. Mixed in with their alien architecture was some different Earth influences. The Shilarins were tall and slender, and quite handsome. They had fine features and good complexions. In all the time that I was among them that day I never once saw an even slightly overweight Shilarin. I spent a lot of time shaking hands and giving little speeches and greetings. The translator worked very well. It had a less than half-second delay between what I heard and what I said to them. Sometimes it got a little awkward, but it generally passed the test.

After a few hours of this I was ushered to a large meeting hall. It was open air, and would be hosting the party that they were throwing for me. It was about as big as a football field, and had plenty of open space on the main floor. What surprised me was how few people were there for such a large space. The center portion was similar to a dance floor, and was probably used for that purpose. At the edges were several TV cameras (or whatever they used for mass media). At one end were the dining tables and nearby were heaping buffets of food. I was taken over there quickly, many of them sensing how hungry I was. Remembering how high their metabolism was I assumed that they were hungry as well. The foods were exotic and quite rich looking. Most of them I could not even recognize what food group they might have belonged to. I noticed that some were obviously fashioned after earth foods, in an effort to make me feel welcome I'm sure. The food smelled wonderful. I walked up to an appetizer looking dish and surreptitiously checked my watch. "200 chilen/600 calories". Wow! I thought. Well I can always lose it later. I was handed a silver plate and the host; Yaladin Burmeer (who was the autocrat here) gestured to the dish and said, "Please, eat well."

"Thank you, it looks delicious." I said and took a small piece. I saw a slightly disappointed look appear on his face, and so took another. That seemed to cheer him up. I lifted the first bit to my mouth and took and exploratory bite. I wasn't a picky eater, you can't be in this business, and I found that this had a marvelous taste. It was like a sweet meat, perhaps pork, with a delicate honey-like sauce. He could tell I liked it, and he heaped on two more of the appetizers. I soon learned that it was customary for the guest to have his plate filled by the hosts. My plate was constantly taken away and filled back up for me by many of the guests. When I asked they explained that it was to ensure that the guest tried everything. I indeed tried every appetizer, and found most of them to be very delicious, though a bit rich. Once the appetizer trays were taken away I glanced at my watch. It had kept a running tab of the calories. I had managed to only eat 957 chilen by taking small bites of the appetizers that still meant though that I had eaten almost 3,000 calories already! I was glad that the appetizers were done. After some conversation with others (I found out that most of the people here were either rich or political leaders or both) the dinner was served.

Dinner was surprisingly like our own, and I was told that this was done both in honor of me, and because lately it became fashionable to eat as the Earthers did. We started with soup and salad. The soup was great, it was salty and meaty (and fattening 207 chilen), but I didn't care much for the salad, they didn't wash their vegetables very well it seemed. Another thing was that dressing was kind of high in chilen, it was 112. Shortly afterwards was dinner. We had a toast with some very sweet liqueur, where I was once again wished long health and prosperity, and I wished everyone the same. Dinner was a hearty casserole. I don't know exactly what was in it but it seemed to have several kinds of meats, cheeses, and vegetables that had the taste and consistency of potatoes. This was a very high chilen meal. One serving was 650 chilen, or 1,950 calories! I was only able to manage one serving, and almost couldn't do that except for the urging I was getting from my hosts. I was very full by the time we were finished. We again went back to conversations and some music started up and many started dancing. I felt so heavy that I could barely move, but when one of Yaladin's wives (apparently he had six) asked me to dance and I had to do my best. I wasn't a bad dancer, and after only a few stumbles I was able to follow her lead. The music was light and airy, and the dance steps similar to waltzes from Earth. I danced several times with wives, daughters, and other hosts. After perhaps forty-five minutes of this desert began.

A huge cake, surrounded by pastries, was brought out and laid at the head table. I was brought to the table and asked to cut the cake and serve myself a slice first, and then give the knife to Yaladin. On the dance floor I had been told about this custom, and that I should make sure I gave myself a generous portion. I groaned inwardly as I approached the cake. I had a little room left in me since dinner, but one glance at my watch told me that this was a truly rich cake. 800 chilen per slice! Oh well, I thought, tomorrow start exercising and watching everything you eat. I was handed the knife and smiled broadly as I cut into the cake. I cut as large a slice as I could, taking a quick glance at my watch; the slice I had was 873 chilen. The crowd approved and clapped as I lifted the hefty slice onto a plate that Yaladin was holding. He smiled happily at me as we traded the knife and plate. One of his wives led me back to my table so that I may sit and eat. The cake was probably the richest and most delicious cake I had ever had. Each bite was like eating a mass of sugar and fat, but it tasted so good. The guests were watching me eagerly as I swallowed each bite, almost as if they were waiting for something to happen. I was barely able to choke down that last bite. I had never felt so full in my life! I talked a bit more, feeling bloated and sluggish. I became aware of a buzzing in my ear. It lasted almost a minute before I realized what it was. Steve was calling me. I excused myself and walked toward the clearing, which had served as the dance floor. It was empty now that everyone was having desert. "Area code" I whispered when I had some privacy. My stomach was starting to hurt a bit.

"Jim! How are you!" came the eager voice of Steve. I winced a bit at having his voice so close in my ear.

"Fine, just fine. Everything seems to be going great."

"Good! How are you enjoying the food?"

"It's some of the best I've had, but wow! I'm really going to have to watch what I eat." I held my stomach as it rumbled slightly.

"Yeah that's what I wanted to talk about. I got some good news and some bad news. Let me give you the good news. You're making a great impression on them, and I mean everyone. This dinner is being broadcast live on the whole planet, the ratings have never been so high, and I'm sure that you're going to continue to make a good impression. The bad news is...well the report I gave you was wrong. You know the one about how many calories are in each chilen?" This was all said very conversationally, as if it was only minor news. My heart almost stopped in my chest as my stomach growled rather loudly and it began to feel as if my clothes were getting tighter.

"What do you mean it's wrong? Is it only slightly off, or is it pretty big?" I asked trying to stay calm.

"It's pretty big. It's not three calories per chilen, but more like..." he trailed off, I imagined him checking some chart or figure as he paused.

"How much?!" I said my voice rising. I reached down and loosened my belt a bit.

"Roughly 3,000 calories per chilen. 2,965 to be exact."

I was thunderstruck. 3,000 per chilen?! 3,000 per chilen!? Holy fuck! That was insane! In a haze I looked at my watch and punched a button that would give me a readout of how many chilen I had consumed. With the appetizers, dinner, desert, plus drinks it was up to...3,131. My eyes almost bugged out of my head. If each chilen was worth 3,000 calories and 3,000 calories was worth one pound of fat, I stood to gain...more than a ton! "Gah! Buh! I'm gonna...put on...th-thr-"

"About 3,000 pounds." Steve finished for me calmly. "Pretty quickly I might add."

"Fuck man! What the Hell were you thinking! It isn't like you to make a mistake like this!" I screamed. My clothes were definitely starting to feel tight on me.

"I didn't make a mistake." Steve said even more calmly than before.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I didn't make a mistake, I said the report was wrong. You see, I lied when I wrote that report." This time Steve couldn't help but snicker as he told me this. Then it all made sense. This was his revenge on me for getting the job! He had probably even sabotaged the original Earth food to ensure that there wouldn't be any when I got here.

"I can see that you're beginning to understand. This should have been mine, mine from the start. But you had to have it, well now you're welcome to it. You should be putting on the pounds now, can you feel it?"

I could. My whole body was feeling bloated and heavy. I could see my jacket seeming to stretch across my chest as I started to slowly expand. "I'm gonna explode!" I yelled.

"No you won't. If I wanted you dead I'd have sabotaged your ship. We fed some lab mice Shilari food about ten years ago, and would you believe it? They're still alive now! They're about as big as a car each, and are so fat that they can barely even wriggle their whiskers, but they're in perfect health! You'll be the same way. There's something in the food besides the extra calories. It's incredibly good at keeping you healthy and completely retards the aging process. You should thank me; you're likely to live forever! There also seems to be no limit to how fat one can get with this stuff, so you're in no danger as far as that goes. You see, the food causes any changes the body normally makes as it gets fatter but in a much shorter time. For example; at least for a little while you'll be strong enough to move, but eventually...It also causes your body to make any changes it has to make for your continued and comfortable existence." While he was talking and my stunned brain was trying to take in my predicament my body was filling out. It started with my torso, but especially my belly, and then to all of my extremities. I was steadily ballooning outwards with fat. "You'll be gaining weight steadily now at a rate of about a pound a second. It should take you less than an hour to reach full size." I could now see that the Shilarins were gathered around me, watching with strange expressions on their faces. The cameras had focused in on me too, just as my jacket ripped up the back, and all of the buttons on my shirt started popping off. "They've never seen an overweight person before. Or if they have, it's only been from pictures from Earth. They certainly haven't seen someone put on weight right in front of their eyes. I can tell you this though Jim, according to our charts your ratings just went through the roof! I bet just about everyone on Shin is watching you right now." My belly was hanging over my too tight pants and was steadily growing. Fat was accumulating on me so fast that it didn't have a chance to form rolls, but just turned into solid bulk, widening me in all directions with each second. I wobbled unsteadily as the excess weight began to throw me off balance. I finally toppled backward landing in a sitting position on my hugely padded ass. I tried to stand back up, but my legs were getting pushed apart by expanding stomach, they were as big around as a small tree and growing fast. My arms were growing too heavy for me to do anything with them and soon lay on my sides. I had grown so fat and wide in all directions that my arms were actually parallel to the ground, even though they were lying on my sides! My face and neck were getting puffier and fuller as I continued to grow.

"If you think you're fat now, just imagine what you'll be like ten years from now, when the other ambassador arrives. Remember that one of the most basic changes a body makes as it gets fatter is an increased appetite. Your appetite will grow in proportion to your size, and with each bite you'll get bigger and hungrier, bigger and hungrier. The only thing you'll have to eat is Shilarin food. Don't expect to get a ride back from there either. I doubt we'd have a ship in the fleet big enough to take you anywhere." And so it continued. I was too overcome by my situation to even speak as I got fatter and fatter. I could hardly see in front of me, my belly had been pushed up so high. I estimated that I was more than ten feet around. The fat seemed soft and firm, like clay, and I'm sure I resembled a great human ball. My legs were completely buried under my vast bulk, and my arms lay uselessly upon me. My clothes had long since been turned into shredded rags, and I sat there naked getting fatter and fatter as Steve continued chatting mindlessly. The Shilarins watched the whole time, absolutely fascinated by what they saw. No one moved to help me or try in any way to save me, but more than one came up to poke my belly or feel my fat body. Finally when the last of my growth seemed to finish itself I saw the Shilarins begin to disperse.

"I've get one more report to give you Jim. It's pretty important."

"Y-you motherfucker! I'm gonna get you, you son of a bitch! You are fucked, do you hear me? Fucked!" I screamed. All I'd have to do was make my report and he'd be executed.

"Not likely. You see I had help with this. Any reports you were supposed to make have already been done. I've used your image to make years worth of holographic reports, all with the Shilarins' permission. You see some of them, actually every dignitary at the party, knew this was going to happen, have in fact been waiting for this for almost ten years now. I discreetly reported what happened to the mice with them when it first happened. It was about this time that our anthropologists and psychologists posed a

theory. The pictures of Earth people that the Shilarins seemed to be interested the most in were of overweight people. This seemed pretty natural, because they'd never seen one before. After a little research and speculation many of the researchers came to the theory that most of the Shilarins were FA or Fat Admirers. At least subconsciously they were. Armed with that theory I discreetly told some of the Shilarin officials about how their food affected Earth creatures and tested my own theory. The Shilarins were even more fascinated by my results. My theory was proven correct. Just about all of the Shilarins are Feeders Jim." I didn't exactly know what a Feeder was but my heart almost stopped at the sound of it. "A feeder is someone who derives sexual pleasure from feeding someone. Not just feeding though, but feeding excessively and purposely fattening up a subject. Most of the Shilarins on the planet don't know that they're Feeders, but now that they've seen you on TV they've probably realized it." The Shilarins who had been watching me returned now, they were pulling behind them an even bigger version of the cake that we had just eaten, and they all had lustful expressions on their faces as they approached. "Ah right on cue." said Steve. "Well it looks like you're going to be busy for awhile Jim so I'll just sign off for now. I'll report back every once in awhile. The next human face you see will be ten years from now. I don't think you'll know this new ambassador. I do though; she's a real bitch. I took her to prom my senior year in high school, and she went off with someone else. They promised me they'd do an extra special job of fattening her up. Enjoy the food Jim, there's lots more where that came from."

With that his voice cut off. I could feel a rumbling in my massive gut as hunger pains wracked me from the center of my mountain of flesh. I almost didn't mind as my mouth was forced open and a huge slice was pushed in.