[Editor's Note: This story was originally published without credit some time ago and became one of the "lost" tales of weight gain lore --- known only by allusions made to it by other authors as having been their "inspiration."
This summer the author, in connection with another piece, mentioned also having written Donut Days. She was persuaded to repost it on the Dimension's Weight Board. With permission of the author it is now reproduced here, properly credited and edited for inclusion in the Weight Room archives. It has been a pleasure to have had a role in making it again available --- The Observer]
Every Wednesday is donuts and bagels day at the company where I work. The whole place is filled with these circles of delight (which is actually another whole story, in and of itself). So today, as I was sampling, oh, probably my sixth donut (not counting the two bagels I had for "breakfast"), I began reminiscing...
Have you ever wished you could go back and relive a portion of your life, taking with you the knowledge and experience that you now have?
Well, that's how I think of the summer before my senior year in high school. That is when my best friend and I decided to get jobs. We went to the nearest commercial strip we could find and one by one applied for a job at each and every establishment along the way.
The very next day I got a call from one of the places where I had applied. Apparently they used the "LIFO" (Last In, First Out) method of processing their job applications. So, when one of their employees quit, my application was sitting there right on top. I went in and met with the manager, starting work that very day at Dawn Donuts.
One of the perks the job offered, my new manager proudly told me, was that I could help myself to all the donuts I wanted!
Now I had always been a chubby girl. At 5'5" tall, my weight was by then usually well into the 140s. But, with summer coming, I had gone through the traditional teenage girl ritual of dieting, and was down to something like 135. Not exactly Twiggy (actually, by this time she was passe, but Kate Moss wasn't around yet), but pretty thin for me.
I had a *very* flat stomach, and I'd bought clothes for the summer that particularly showed it off. As I began my new job at Dawn Donuts I pledged to myself not to sample a single donut. Ever.
The other girls working there were more realistic. They told me I should pretty much count on gaining 5-15 pounds, but not to worry because after that I would be so sick of donuts that I would never touch one again in my life.
Well... by the end of my second day working there, I broke my pledge. Dawn Donuts had a very unusual donut called "Chop Suey," and customers had been asking me what it was like. The descriptions I got from the other employees didn't seem to suffice... it seemed that I would just have to sample one of these delicacies for myself.
The Chop Suey, it turns out, was pretty much a fritter -- one of those immense blobs of dough that gets deep fried and coated with sugar -- and it was filled with candy and peanuts. It was really huge --- and it was really good! I just "had to have another one" the next day! I rationalized that, if I had one I'd, see that it was exactly the same as the other one and then I wouldn't need to eat them any more.
Uh, yeah, right.
The Chop Suey fritter was so good the second time around, that I began to wonder... were the other donuts we sold also so exquisite? How would I know if I didn't try them... all?
I think you know where this part is going. I *did* try them all -- and all by the end of my third day working there!
I went home at night and, being too embarrassed to tell my family how much I'd eaten all day, I pretended to be famished and polished off a hearty dinner. Then, with some difficulty, I went to bed -- vowing to myself that I was now sick of donuts and I wouldn't have to eat any more.
Of course I felt better the next day, and when I arrived at work and smelled the fantastic aroma of fresh-baked donuts, I was powerless to resist the urge to eat.
A few weeks went by, pretty much repeating the last paragraph. I ended up working the afternoon shift, which is the slow time in the donut biz. As a result I first worked it alone. The effect of this was two-fold -- one, I was bored, so I ate, and two, I didn't have to worry about anyone noticing what a pig I was being.
All the while I kept figuring I'd get sick of donuts, like the others had told me I would. But no.....by the end of those first few weeks, my flat tummy was history, replaced by a little roll of fat that hung over my jeans. My uniform fit me snugly. I was filled with varying reactions to this, which I totally did not understand at the time. This is where I wish I could go back and relive this experience... and *really* enjoy it.
Instead, I struggled with my feelings -- sometimes being extremely aroused by my growing body and wanting to keep stuffing myself, and then alternately beating myself up about it. Like I said, I really didn't understand, and unfortunately wouldn't until much later.
I was completely unprepared for what happened next. Dawn Donuts hired another employee -- Kim. Kim was one of the most amazing people I have ever met. She was incredibly smart, she was very outgoing, and she was a true BBW. I'd never heard of BBWs then, of course, but she was blond (natural!), had huge blue eyes, killer smile, was probably about 5'8" and must have weighed around 225.
The donut shop regulars (the men that spent a lot of time there) went bonkers, and I was really astonished. I had no idea there were men out there who found large women attractive. And Kim surprised me -- she was so confident... so sure of herself. And she was just 18 years old.
We hit it off immediately, and she asked to borrow one of my uniforms until she could get her own. I looked at her hesitantly, doubting whether she could possibly get it to fit. But I gave her my spare and she didn't hesitate. To this day I remember how she whisked off her shirt, exhibiting no embarrassment whatsoever that I could see how fat she was or exhibiting any concern that she might be able not fit into the outfit.
The uniform was short sleeved and zipped up the front. She unzipped it completely and first pulled it over her arms. It was tight, and the fabric bulged from the pressure of the chubby arms pressing from within. I was afraid it would rip, but she continued right on trying to zip it up --- sucking in her ample belly and tugging on the zipper until it co-operated.
With a great deal of effort, she got the uniform on and slowly let out her breath. The fabric was stretched across her breasts and belly skin-tight and the seams struggled to keep together. I was ***so*** turned on, but didn't have a clue as to the reason why I was feeling so uncomfortable.
Kim bought her own uniform the next day, and our friendship was on its way. I had only one more month left before school began again, but we made the most of it. We had donut eating contests -- I won! My record was 36 donuts in one day (8 hours)! But no matter how many donuts we would consume, Kim always insisted on eating real meals as well.
The first time we went out together to dinner, we went to Bob's Big Boy --- which was a coffee shop/burger joint kind of place. (They used to be all over the place -- wonder what happened to them?) We each ordered the salad, burger, and fries combo. And, of course, we each polished it off. When the waitress came back to see if we wanted dessert, I automatically began to respond "No," but Kim gave me a disparaging look and ordered us each the special fudge- covered brownie sundae. We polished those off, too.
After dinner, groaning from eating so much (after spending the day at the donut shop stuffing myself with donuts!), Kim and I indulged in what would turn out to be one of her favorite pastimes... trying on clothes.
I had never been really "into" clothes shopping with friends before. I always wore a couple of sizes bigger than any of my friends, so I would always end up feeling self-conscious. But with Kim there was no such problem. Kim loved trying on revealing clothes that were a few sizes too small and laughing at herself in the mirror as her rolls of fat spilled out from every opening in the material.
Again -- if *only* I had been more savvy and understood what was going on, I could have enjoyed this situation *so* much more!!!
As the summer neared an end, I realized I had grown quite fat. I had bought new clothes with the money I had earned, and those were getting tight. When I finally summoned up the courage to step on a scale, I was shocked to see the pointer settle on 165. (OK, that seems thin to me now, but everything's relative!).
Kim had not gained as much as I had, but she *had* gained, and was probably over 250. She was, as usual, very comfortable with it, and wore revealing clothes that showed off her belly and thighs. Had I only known then what I know now, I would have been friends with Kim for life -- I would have loved to continue the way we were going and spend my life growing fat with her. I would have loved to have a girlfriend with whom I could share the gaining experience.
But alas, that was not to be. I still didn't understand my strange feelings, and I went back to school in September and didn't have much time to see Kim. I starved myself and worked out excessively and got myself back to the 140s by Christmas. I saw Kim only once after that -- she was living with one of the guys who was a regular at the donut shop and had put on more weight -- looking even more radiant than ever.
I have often wondered what ever happened to her. In my fantasies, she has continued to grow more large and more beautiful...
As, I'm happy to say, have I... :)
[Postscript by Snackgirl:
Follow up to this story -- I actually went back to the place I grew up (Michigan) in August, 1997, for the first time in nearly 20 years... and went to see if Dawn Donuts was still there. I was really hoping to get a couple ( or, rather, a couple *dozen*!! :-) ) donuts for old times sake... but alas, Dawn Donuts will have to live on in my memory only. It was replaced by a Dunkin' Donuts, which was always our big (OK, gigantic) rival. ...]