On the topics of friend gaining weight and fidelity :-/

[MadeFA]

Well, for those that are into weight gain (as I am myself) I have been fortunate enough to enjoy watching a friend gain a very nice amount of weight. She had been chubby through early aged schooling, lost a lot of weight in high school and easily got down to around 120 lbs by senior year. She is a natural beauty and I personally thought she was always pretty, but her weight gain since start college has been substantial. The freshman 15 was followed by a sophomore 30 and this pear-shaped beauty is steadily working a first semester gaining session again! Amongst my friends, my preferences for bigger women is well known, and she certainly finds appreciation, joy, and maybe something more in the attraction that I show to her... mainly because she is getting none of that from her boyfriend of a few years :doh: . This girl LOVES to eat, admits to it, and admits that no diets have worked because she has A) not had the time to work out B) would never sacrifice missing a meal and C) LOVES TO EAT.

Moving on, as mentioned, she is in a long relationship. I can not say anything bad about her boyfriend, who is still caring, loving, and not out rightly negative to her, or her weight gain. He was supportive of her diet attempts, and did not rub it in when she failed. I am certain that he is not attracted to the weight gain (by her unhappiness with their current love life) and by always noticing his wondering eye (only when she is not around, as he is truly a gentleman and does not let his eye wonder when she is around). They love each other, they are apparently still intimate, just not passionate. I am certain, for many reasons, that she would love to have a good time with me. I have already made my mind up as to what I am going to do, and since it is my opinion is that she is a grown girl and can make up her own mind as to what she wants/needs, so I should have not feel bad about attempting to satisfy her. After all, if the situations were reversed, and I did not show the attention to my girlfriend that she openly stated she needed, I would not be upset if she left me. What are your thoughts? (AND NO I DO NOT HAVE PICs! However, for those that liked my weight gain story writing, this certainly will be the subject of my next work).

Happy holidays, and Merry Christmas to those celebrating in the upcoming days!

[Jay West Coast]

The answer is easy, dude: What does your dick say?!






Now, just do the opposite.

[This1Yankee]

Posting because your location says "Yankee-land"...good job.

Anyhow, cheating is bad and disrespectful to all parties concerned. Common sense and morality tell us this. This girl is holding on to SOMETHING worthwhile in her relationship, so until she lets go, you should give her the platonic space that she needs to sort things out. Tell her how you feel, but don't act on it. It proves to her that you are a decent guy if you make it a point to respect the situation that she is in, and wait until she is ready.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

Support her, if you want pay for her meals, but no physical stuff. She's off-limits as long as the relationship endures. Passionate or not, they want to make this work, and choice comes before impulse.

[exile in thighville]

Well, for those that are into weight gain (as I am myself) I have been fortunate enough to enjoy watching a friend gain a very nice amount of weight. She had been chubby through early aged schooling, lost a lot of weight in high school and easily got down to around 120 lbs by senior year. She is a natural beauty and I personally thought she was always pretty, but her weight gain since start college has been substantial. The freshman 15 was followed by a sophomore 30 and this pear-shaped beauty is steadily working a first semester gaining session again! Amongst my friends, my preferences for bigger women is well known, and she certainly finds appreciation, joy, and maybe something more in the attraction that I show to her... mainly because she is getting none of that from her boyfriend of a few years :doh: . This girl LOVES to eat, admits to it, and admits that no diets have worked because she has A) not had the time to work out B) would never sacrifice missing a meal and C) LOVES TO EAT.

Moving on, as mentioned, she is in a long relationship. I can not say anything bad about her boyfriend, who is still caring, loving, and not out rightly negative to her, or her weight gain. He was supportive of her diet attempts, and did not rub it in when she failed. I am certain that he is not attracted to the weight gain (by her unhappiness with their current love life) and by always noticing his wondering eye (only when she is not around, as he is truly a gentleman and does not let his eye wonder when she is around). They love each other, they are apparently still intimate, just not passionate. I am certain, for many reasons, that she would love to have a good time with me. I have already made my mind up as to what I am going to do, and since it is my opinion is that she is a grown girl and can make up her own mind as to what she wants/needs, so I should have not feel bad about attempting to satisfy her. After all, if the situations were reversed, and I did not show the attention to my girlfriend that she openly stated she needed, I would not be upset if she left me. What are your thoughts? (AND NO I DO NOT HAVE PICs! However, for those that liked my weight gain story writing, this certainly will be the subject of my next work).

Happy holidays, and Merry Christmas to those celebrating in the upcoming days!

i'm a little suprised at the above responses to this, so don't listen to them. be honest with yourself. is she really, really unhappy with her relationship? like, do you have a true foot in the door if you tell her more than just being an FA, that you really want her? because in that case, yes, by all means, go for it. she's mostly likely staying in her unhappy relationship because she has no other option (i.e. you) available. she's still gonna be conflicted and might need talking to but i don't think it would be that hard for both parties if her man especially seems to wish he was with someone skinnier. i know he loves her and cares about her and all but if he really did they'd stay good friends when they're both in more ideal relationships. while infidelity isn't at all your problem, it would be hers, you'd still be better off trying to talk her into leaving him rather than a secret thing going. it's painful but quicker and the effects are honest rather than sugarcoated lies. but like i said before, ask yourself if you think she'd really do it, because if you dont think you have a chance, don't risk it, cuz it will make your friendship with her (and him of course) very, very awkward and possibly ruined if you guess wrong. spend a lot of time thinking about it and be patient, wait for an in to bring it up. if you think you have a chance though, by all means, go for it.

[fatgirlflyin]

Are you interested in a relationship with this girl, or do you just want to do her? If you are truly interested in her, getting to know her, and possibly establishing something meaninful with her then please give her the time to end her current relationship on her own, without any prodding or interference from you.

There has to be something that is keeping her there, even if its just the idea that she can't do any better and she's going to have to come to the realization on her own that there are other fish in the sea, or that whatever it is that is keeping her in her current relationship is no longer satisfying to her.

The relationship needs to be able to die on its own with only the two people involved and then she's going to need time to mourn that relationship. If you are looking to have something with this girl you dont want to start it out with what ifs do ya?

We all come with baggage (hell I have a matching set) but giving her time to stow hers will only make her more open and available to a new relationship.

If you are just looking to have sex with the girl well then that's a horse of another color.

[TheSadeianLinguist]

...she is in a long relationship. I can not say anything bad about her boyfriend, who is still caring, loving, and not out rightly negative to her, or her weight gain. He was supportive of her diet attempts, and did not rub it in when she failed. I am certain that he is not attracted to the weight gain (by her unhappiness with their current love life) and by always noticing his wondering eye (only when she is not around, as he is truly a gentleman and does not let his eye wonder when she is around). They love each other, they are apparently still intimate, just not passionate. I am certain, for many reasons, that she would love to have a good time with me. I have already made my mind up as to what I am going to do, and since it is my opinion is that she is a grown girl and can make up her own mind as to what she wants/needs, so I should have not feel bad about attempting to satisfy her. After all, if the situations were reversed, and I did not show the attention to my girlfriend that she openly stated she needed, I would not be upset if she left me. What are your thoughts? (AND NO I DO NOT HAVE PICs! However, for those that liked my weight gain story writing, this certainly will be the subject of my next work).

Save yourself a lot of heartache. Don't get involved. If something like this happened in my relationship and someone saw me looking at other people and made a move on my boyfriend, there's a sporting chance I'd be ruthless. NO ONE would suspect this of me. Moral of the story: You never know who you're fucking with.

[Leonard]

It's never good to be the a contributing factor to the end of someone else's relationship. Should a relationship result from this, that relationship would be forever marred by the underhanded acts you committed to attain it.

I once cheated on someone I cared about. Needless to say, I was unable to be intimate with the person I cheated on her with because every time I saw this paramour all I could think about was how badly I hurt my former girlfriend.

Do you want to blow your chances of having something really special with this girl by becoming a walking reminder of the heartache she's caused?

Wait it out, man. It's the right thing to do and it will be that much more emotionally and physically rewarding.

[Markt]

I have to side with everyone who said you should not be part of an infidelity. It's just never a good idea.


I was in a similar situation once, where a friend was not happy with her bf, and she made it clear she wanted to 'fool around' with me behind his back. I told her I was attracted to her but I simply could not be 'the other man'. She then dumped her bf and she and I started dating. That wasn't particularly wonderful either, but at the very very least our consciences were clear. I didn't even know her bf but I just can't put out that kind of cruelty and bad karma.
This was many years ago when I was barely 20...and she wasn't even a bbw! She was cute, I was attracted, but I didn't have that true craving that an FA has only for a bigger girl. I think I was just curious as to what it would be like to be intimate with her (and frankly it just wasn't worth the ramifications to all parties involved). In hindsight I shouldn't have gone there.

Anyway, good luck to you. Looking forward to your fictionalized version (you write well my friend :)).

mark

[FreeThinker]

Are you interested in a relationship with this girl, or do you just want to do her? If you are truly interested in her, getting to know her, and possibly establishing something meaningful with her then please give her the time to end her current relationship on her own, without any prodding or interference from you.

There has to be something that is keeping her there, even if its just the idea that she can't do any better and she's going to have to come to the realization on her own that there are other fish in the sea, or that whatever it is that is keeping her in her current relationship is no longer satisfying to her.

The relationship needs to be able to die on its own with only the two people involved and then she's going to need time to mourn that relationship. If you are looking to have something with this girl you dont want to start it out with what ifs, do ya?


Take the above and put my handle and avatar next to it.

Well-said, Bella.

[MadeFA]

I do appreciate all responses, but in the spirit of the thought that the unexaminded suggestions are not worth following, I will posit the following.
1. First off, I apologize for anything that is stated and sounds rather silly (or is spelled in a silly manner) as I have returned from some routine college partying, and I am probably not the best typer at the moment.

2. For those wondering if I am certain about having a "foot in the door" I am absolute, the girl in question has made it very clear she'd love to fool around a little.

3. I do fully understand many of the reasons why some say it is not good to contribute to the end of a relationship, however, is it not at times necessary for a catalyst to come along to help someone realize just what it is that they really want in a relationship (ie. physical and personal attention)?

4. For the one or two who asked, I am not friends with this guy in question, really don't care how he will react, and I doubt any type of physical violence or spiteful actions would come from his part.

5. I am however concerned that, her cheating on her b/f may not be the best way to end the relationship, but I am not sure if it just may not be a good thing for her to experience.

In the end, I appreciate the feed back and look foward to more!

-Me

[Benderjoe]

If she's made it clear to you that she wants to fool around, I'd consider that a move-in attack is fair game. It's not the healthiest thing in the world that she feels like she has to have another guy lined up to leave the first one, but as long as you remember that when she starts to become distant you should come out a winner.

You're young, you're at the prime of your life. If you were ever going to take a chance like this, whether the outcome is good or bad, now is the time. I agree with the posters above who've said that if your desires are more than the casual fling that you should definitely go for it. I know it sounds awful but I've known of a few long lasting relationships that developed from situations similar to yours (minus the bbw/fa/gain stuff). . .

It's the holidays. If it goes well, Merry F'n Christmas to you. If it goes bad, well, you're ready to jump with the rest of us.

[thepiscn]

I agree with This1Yankee and go the moral route on this. If she ends the relationship with this guy then it is okay to peruse her, otherwise, she is off limits.

[MadeFA]

tis the season to be jolly :eat2:

[wrestlingguy]

tis the season to be jolly :eat2:

Bro, obviously you have your mind made up......but let me give you a little advice. I've cheated, and I've been cheated on.

When you get a girl to cheat on her man, you'll have to expect to be cheated on as well, unless........well, you think you're different. Are you?

When you cheat on your girl, it might seem great the first time or so, but it starts to suck after a while.........that is, if you have a sense of morality. Besides, you could end up pushing the camera away on the next episode of "Cheaters".

My suggestion......join a paysite, or find a hottie that's unattached.

[interesting monster]

Bro, obviously you have your mind made up......but let me give you a little advice. I've cheated, and I've been cheated on.

When you get a girl to cheat on her man, you'll have to expect to be cheated on as well, unless........well, you think you're different. Are you?

When you cheat on your girl, it might seem great the first time or so, but it starts to suck after a while.........that is, if you have a sense of morality. Besides, you could end up pushing the camera away on the next episode of "Cheaters".

My suggestion......join a paysite, or find a hottie that's unattached.

What fun is that? Obviously homeboy is up for some DRAMA. It might not be pleasent, but you will no longer be bored, eh?

[MadeFA]

I am still puzzled from time to time when people refer to this absolute standard of morality that we apparently all adhere to. As far as I am concerned, there is nothing wrong with giving this girl what she has asked for, when she has done her best to make it clear to her man that she needs something from her. As I said previously, if I could not satisfy my girl and she left or cheated on me, it is my loss. Do I think I am different? Yes, up to this point in my life I have either been fortunate enough to have been able to sufficiently please my girlfriends or been fortunate enough to have had the foresight to say, this is not going to work we/you are better off looking else where.
So clearly, I have gone from opinions to defending my actions. :smitten:
lol None the less, I sincerely appreciate the input.
As for a flare for drama, sure, it makes life exciting. :doh:

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

Because you came seeking a right answer, and we are a species and society that weighs morality and ethics into situations. He's obviously trying within his best ability to make it work. If he's not pleasing her sufficiently, she should say so and break up. Ending a relationship by fucking somebody else is like informing your child that you're disowning them by taking them to a remote bus station and leaving them there.

[Wagimawr]

Congratulations, you've now been deemed a deviant by most of those who posted in this thread. :p

[MadeFA]

:eek: Because you came seeking a right answer, and we are a species and society that weighs morality and ethics into situations. He's obviously trying within his best ability to make it work. If he's not pleasing her sufficiently, she should say so and break up. Ending a relationship by fucking somebody else is like informing your child that you're disowning them by taking them to a remote bus station and leaving them there.


No that is WAY more comical!

:eek:

All kidding aside, I find that to be a faulty example, as a child is pretty much rendered abandoned by it's MAJOR form of protection and help in the world. This is nothing like that, he's all grown up now.

Merriest of Christmas to all those who take part in such festivities.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

I understand that it was hyperbolic, but I couldn't find any other interpersonal relationship to compare it to.

[GWARrior]

madefa, i was in this same situation last year. not pretty. I had a friend from another state visit me and we were both interested in fooling around. I was in a long term relationship at the time, and it was kind of in a rocky spot. My friend and my bf didnt know eachother and really didnt care to know eachother.

Long story short: i cheated, i confessed and much heartache and guilt on all 3 sides ensued. FOrtunately, my boy and I made up, started learning how to trust eachother again and our relationship is going awesome.

Its not a good thing. Dont go there man.

And if shes all up in your shit when she has a man (and she doesnt have the courage to break up with him), something tells me shes bad news and you really dont want that, do you?

[Tad]

You may have already done whatever it is you decided to do, but I’ll chip in my two cents worth anyway.

There are a couple of things that have me wondering.

First is, if she isn’t happy with her current bf, and she is interested in you, why hasn’t she broken up with him? This is a question that I’d ask her for sure. Even if you have no general qualms about messing around with her, her attitude to this might be a good thing to know before you stick your neck out.

Second, if she were single, say if she called you up tonight and said she’d broken up with her boyfriend, would you be honestly interested in dating her and treating her well (beyond messing around) ? I ask because this is a girl who has been treated poorly. Say you mess around, it opens her eyes to what it is like to be with a guy who is honestly attracted to her, and she dumps her boyfriend expecting to date you. If you then said “ah, no thanks, it was fun but I’m not interested in being serious” well, that would really be kicking her back down just as she was getting to her feet, you know what I’m saying? It would really be a pretty darned cold thing to do, that I hope you’d regret in years to come.

So, if you would like to be serious about this girl, and you sure you aren’t getting one or both of you into an emotional swamp, I still think you should encourage her to dump him. Barring that, get her to more or less phase him out. As in, do they have plans for New Years? If not, see if she wants to go somewhere with you—maybe not as a formal date, but somewhere you can go dancing, and see what it is like to dance with a guy who thinks that she’s hot and can’t keep his eyes off of her. Don’t promise anything for afterwards, and resist if you can. See if she’d join you and some friends for some activity the following weekend. In a few weeks hopefully one of them will have gotten around to officially breaking up, then you can go farther with a clearer conscience. Yes, you helped to break them up, but only by treating her with class and consideration. It would make for a way stronger starting to a relationship.

One final note, if you end up involved with her in any way, you will have to deal with the legacy of the bad boyfriend. It is something you can help her to get past, but it is apt to take a bit of time. Which means that things are apt to get better and more explosive the longer you are together and the more confidence in herself and your relationship that she gains. So I think there is way better potential payback by going in for the long term.

All just my opinion—but you asked for our opinions.

Regards;

-Ed

[liz (di-va)]

Since you asked what people think:

What happens when she loses weight? She will, you know. Especially at that age. Even if she gains weight again later.

Everything aside, you seem to be using the fact that you are supporting activity that's not generally socially accepted (being bigger) as a way to rationalize the world's oldest situation (cheatin). But it's not any different than plain ol cheatin, you're just turned on by the thing others don't like.

[MadeFA]

"Everything aside, you seem to be using the fact that you are supporting activity that's not generally socially accepted (being bigger) as a way to rationalize the world's oldest situation (cheatin)."
-No, I am using the fact that she wants to have some fun with another guy to rationalize the fact that I would be aiding in her cheating.


"First is, if she isn’t happy with her current bf, and she is interested in you, why hasn’t she broken up with him?"
In my opinion, or experience, some people need to grab onto a new hand to hold before letting go of an old one. I am not saying this is healthy, I am just saying it is quite common. Some people need a strong action to help them realize they want to leave someone, or, maybe she wants to see if some sexual fun is worth ending a seemingly good relationship.
-As for the rest of your questions posed, I certainly would be interested in going out with her, assuming she stays as wonderful a person as she is at the moment. As far as having to be with someone that cheated once, I think it is a security issue. If the person is not a usual cheater, and only did it because of unhappiness... the only time worry of her cheating would enter my mind is if I was insecure with my ability to support a good relationship, on the physical and personal level. I tend to not be insecure, I won't string something along that is not making both people involved happy all around. If she did cheat, well... it's not like I did not know what I was getting into.


"And if shes all up in your shit when she has a man (and she doesn't have the courage to break up with him), something tells me shes bad news and you really don't want that, do you?"
-You only live once, as far as I believe, so... sure why not??

[wi-steve]

The answer is easy, dude: What does your dick say?!






Now, just do the opposite.

Ok, for a second here I thought Stifler was here!!!!

Steve

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

So? People don't just cheat for the sake of cheating. They cheat because of "unhappyness", because they're unhappy with some physical or emotional aspect but don't have the spine or decency or guts to say "it's over" OR control their libido.

What if she hooks up with you and finds out your dick isn't large enough? Wouldn't you like her to say goodbye through normal human communication than to find out when you come home and notice the bed has an occupant surplus?

You're as guilty as she is in an act of "cheating". You just want us to say it's okay because her non-feeder man can't "satisfy" the sexual end of the relationship. I don't know why you bothered to come her if you're dead-set on porking her regardless of the moral, ethical, or interpersonal consequences.

[lemmink]

Eh, go for it. If she wants to fool around with you, there's something missing in her relationship, and you may as well give it to her. Just make sure the boyfriend isn't a psychopath.

[wrestlingguy]

Eh, go for it. If she wants to fool around with you, there's something missing in her relationship, and you may as well give it to her. Just make sure the boyfriend isn't a psychopath.

Sounds like you've been there already, lemmick...........hope her boyfriend wasn't one of my wrestling pals (= psychopath). How about a followup post from our antagonist who started this thread???

[lemmink]

Sounds like you've been there already, lemmick...........hope her boyfriend wasn't one of my wrestling pals (= psychopath). How about a followup post from our antagonist who started this thread???

Been there, bought the t-shirt. If someone wants to do something with you, that's THEIR choice - you're not pushing them into anything. The fact they're in a relationship with someone else is their problem, not yours. It may be telling of their character, but you can make what you want of it.

However, it's always wise to check first to see if there's any chance of THEIR problems turning up outside your house with a shovel and a grudge.

[Laina]

Been there, bought the t-shirt. If someone wants to do something with you, that's THEIR choice - you're not pushing them into anything. The fact they're in a relationship with someone else is their problem, not yours. It may be telling of their character, but you can make what you want of it.

However, it's always wise to check first to see if there's any chance of THEIR problems turning up outside your house with a shovel and a grudge.

I think that depends a great deal on what you ultimately want from the relationship--if you're looking for a cheap hookup (and your conscience can take it), cheating is the "best" route. If, however, you're expecting a relationship...allowing someone to 'use' you to cheat on their SO is very rarely a healthy segue into a relationship.

I hate to go all Biblical (being pagan and all) but, um, something about not building foundations on sand comes to mind. If a girl used you to cheat, you'll never be sure that she's not using some other guy to cheat on you. Not that people can't change, mind you...but how ready to believe in that change are you going to be?

[Krissy12]

I've never understood why people continue to hang on to relationships that aren't meeting their needs. If this girl needs that element of her sexual life to exist or she'll cheat, then she needs to be honest and end the relationship. If she won't end it because she loves him or because he's *so* good to her in every other way, then she needs to back off of you and focus on the things she does like in the relationship.

There is also the possibility that this girl is so needy that she expects whoever she's with to meet all of her needs (in and out of the bedroom) that any relationship won't measure up, because no one can fulfill every need of another person.

Sounds to me like you just want to get freaky with her and are looking for an excuse.. :)

Personally, and this is only personally, I've never seen anything good come out of being the "other man".

[MadeFA]

You're as guilty as she is in an act of "cheating". You just want us to say it's okay because her non-feeder man can't "satisfy" the sexual end of the relationship. I don't know why you bothered to come her if you're dead-set on porking her regardless of the moral, ethical, or interpersonal consequences.


No, I do not need people to say it is "okay" and to answer your question I came here to see what people thought. I usually know what I am going to do, as I did in this case, but I am always interested in what others think, I apologize for my social interest :doh: I always mess that one up, trying to start conversations and all :blush:

I like to see what others think, and just what their thought processes are when it comes to determining their position on subjects like this.

Hope everyone had a great New Year!

[Wagimawr]

Most importantly, did you? :p

[Laina]

Most importantly, did you? :p

No, but I did. :p