fatlane
10-03-2005, 05:52 PM
I'm in a recovery of sorts, and I need to go through what AA calls "Step Nine", making amends. I'm not in a 12-step program, but I know this step is something I need to do.
I have to confess, I've been a real ass in the Dimensions Chat before. Not to everyone, but to specific people. Lots of specific people. I'd been very disingenious in the past, putting my wants ahead of others' emotions. That's wrong. I know I can behave myself here, so I'll keep posting here. I can't behave myself in Chat, so I won't be going there anymore. I can't guarantee I'd be entirely honest there.
To be honest, I can't remember specific people I may have hurt. Much of it is a blur. Not all of it, but much of it. To those I do recall being a jerk with, I won't name you directly up front, as that might add more embarassment... but if you want to step up and let me have it, I'll be here to accept it: privately or on the board.
Chat puts me through so many mood swings and personality changes, I don't want to go back to it. It's not me, and enables me to be someone I'd rather not be.
In Stevenson's "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde", he describes a person who becomes more devout during the times he's not being a fiend. I didn't have quite that dichotomy, but I did go through a split like that - not the most honest way to live.
Anyway, I know many from DimChat are here, and I want to clear the air, just in case any air needed clearing. It's not my intention to hurt, and wherever I've done wrong, I need to apologize and move forward, not going back down the same road I used to walk.
I have to confess, I've been a real ass in the Dimensions Chat before. Not to everyone, but to specific people. Lots of specific people. I'd been very disingenious in the past, putting my wants ahead of others' emotions. That's wrong. I know I can behave myself here, so I'll keep posting here. I can't behave myself in Chat, so I won't be going there anymore. I can't guarantee I'd be entirely honest there.
To be honest, I can't remember specific people I may have hurt. Much of it is a blur. Not all of it, but much of it. To those I do recall being a jerk with, I won't name you directly up front, as that might add more embarassment... but if you want to step up and let me have it, I'll be here to accept it: privately or on the board.
Chat puts me through so many mood swings and personality changes, I don't want to go back to it. It's not me, and enables me to be someone I'd rather not be.
In Stevenson's "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde", he describes a person who becomes more devout during the times he's not being a fiend. I didn't have quite that dichotomy, but I did go through a split like that - not the most honest way to live.
Anyway, I know many from DimChat are here, and I want to clear the air, just in case any air needed clearing. It's not my intention to hurt, and wherever I've done wrong, I need to apologize and move forward, not going back down the same road I used to walk.