Slutty vs. Sexy

[Ernest Nagel]

A conversation with a friend last night raised an interesting question for me. What is the difference between slutty and sexy? Preliminary conclusion is "honesty". Slutty is all false promises and hidden intentions. Sexy is unambiguous, unapologetic and straightforward. Also sexy is more about desire; slutty is about needs. No idea if any of that is "true", just playing around with it.

So how about it? Is it a sexist distinction to start with? Is it a continuum? If so, where is the line drawn? What makes you feel sexy vs. slutty? Does anything about being a BBW/FA change the sexy/slutty distinction?

(BTW, I've never especially cared for the word "slut". I was raised in Tulsa, OK, which happens to be aslut spelled backwards. The only good thing about that is if you throw it out there really quickly it can preempt the inevitable Oral Roberts jokes that plague all traveling Tulsans. Just sayin'.)

[Blackjack]

From my point of view:

Sexy is confidence in one's body.

Slutty is boastful of one's promiscuity.

[Aurora]

I agree with Blackjack.

~Aurora

[_broshe_]

Yeah I'd have to say that I agree withy blackjack on that one as well

While i will say sexy could be a tad more broad than this, slutty is case and point showing for promiscuity of the person.


I'll rep that

[Mindee]

I don't know. I'm rather fond of referring to myself as a slut, and I NEVER deal in false promises!

[Ernest Nagel]

From my point of view:

Sexy is confidence in one's body.

Slutty is boastful of one's promiscuity.

Yeah, I get that. But men are expected to be "boastful of their promiscuity". So is that suggesting that men are, by virtue of societal expectations, sluts? Or is sluttiness just a chick thing?

And is confidence in one's body inherently sexy? Confidence of what then, that it is attractive? I've known many women, especially BBW's, who did not consider themselves attractive but whom I found very sexy. I like your answer Jack, but I'm curious if there's not a bit more to it? According to that type of self-assessing definition I'm guessing very few women wouldn't choose to say they fit the "sexy" model.

[_broshe_]

Well, hold on here, lets check out...

what needs to be remembered here is that we live in a very biased society.

It is one thing for a man to say "I have had 5 partners" than to here a woman say the same thing! Double standards are weather we like it or not a part of our society.

Slut For the most part has a very negative conotation, where sexy for the most part is concidered to be ok.

[mossystate]

I just wonder why, in 2007, we still deal with this dynamic, and it is assumed to be only about female behavior. This is what makes the whole issue oh so very sexist.

I guess I run with a different crowd..or try to, as difficult as it can be at times.

[Blackjack]

Yeah, I get that. But men are expected to be "boastful of their promiscuity". So is that suggesting that men are, by virtue of societal expectations, sluts? Or is sluttiness just a chick thing?

I didn't come here to talk about society's apparent standard of expected promiscuity of males. I will note, though, that it's bullshit.

And is confidence in one's body inherently sexy? Confidence of what then, that it is attractive? I've known many women, especially BBW's, who did not consider themselves attractive but whom I found very sexy. I like your answer Jack, but I'm curious if there's not a bit more to it? According to that type of self-assessing definition I'm guessing very few women wouldn't choose to say they fit the "sexy" model.

Well yeah, there's more to it. I just prefer to give a shrink wrap version of it instead of typing walls of text. :p

Basically, I think that confidence is attractive, so long as it's not bragging. If you got it, flaunt it, but don't go overboard. A lack of confidence is one less thing that's attractive about a person- in general, not just with regard to physical attributes- but it likely doesn't in and of itself make them unattractive.

On the flip side, confidence doesn't always make a person attractive by itself. I mean, it's a positive thing, but there's a whole bunch of other things that would have to be present (or, in the case of something like herpes, lacking) for them to be attractive.

That's a kind of... loose explanation, I guess. I hope you can get what I mean. :p

[Sandie_Zitkus]

sexy is fishnets under your mini skirt

slutty is just the fishnets.

[SocialbFly]

I just wonder why, in 2007, we still deal with this dynamic, and it is assumed to be only about female behavior. This is what makes the whole issue oh so very sexist.

I guess I run with a different crowd..or try to, as difficult as it can be at times.

I agree, it is a womans issue, and as a womans issue, where do we draw the line? a man is admired for his "sluttiness" (well, for his talents and prowess maybe is a better answer) while a woman who is equally talented has "been around".

we as women, try to say that being a slut is a man's connotation, yet how often do we condemn another woman for her slutty behavior??

Owning ones sexuality is one thing, bragging about it, or using others only to gain our satisfaction is another...

i feel like this is something that can't be easily resolved.

[TraciJo67]

From my point of view:

Sexy is confidence in one's body.

Slutty is boastful of one's promiscuity.

Uh ... aren't you the guy who kept insisting that I was unfairly mislabeling the behavior of a girl who slept with 20+ guys and then did a tell-all on Craig's list? That *was* you, wasn't it?

[mossystate]

So, ummm, HOW big is a SSBBW?..what are the guidelines?..wrong thread?..oh, ok, it just gets so confusing to keep all these labels straight...

[SocialbFly]

I agree about labels, they can be hurtful and not helpful, but some persons beg to be labeled...i know, i am a baaaddd dog...

[wrestlingguy]

I just wonder why, in 2007, we still deal with this dynamic, and it is assumed to be only about female behavior. This is what makes the whole issue oh so very sexist.

I guess I run with a different crowd..or try to, as difficult as it can be at times.

Okay, I also happen to agree with Mossy, and I would like to propose that we include men in this discussion. What is the difference between a sexy man, and, well................since our society has not yet labeled the male version of a slut, what do we call it?? Playa???

Based on the responses thus far, it appears that the line of demarcation is based on the promiscuity of the person. If that is the opinion of most, can we in fact apply this standard to the guys? The next question is, will each sex use the same standard to judge the other sex? Is what makes promiscuity sleazy for females the same for guys when viewed by males, and vice versa?

This could get interesting.......

[TraciJo67]

I agree about labels, they can be hurtful and not helpful, but some persons beg to be labeled...i know, i am a baaaddd dog...

Long ago, I labeled you as Sheba, Queen of the Sexpots. Was I wrong? :wubu:

[mossystate]

I also think that labeling becomes most damaging when it is a mindset that is deeply ingrained to the point of said labels only being applied to certain peeeeeople.

' Playa ' is a badge of honor for some men. It does not have the legs and the downright hatred and iron fist that comes down on women for being anything less than acceptable..and of course this definition of acceptable changes from person to person..hell, it changes from person to person to whether or not a person has said no to a person who has decided to label women so harshly...let's face it, many men will label a woman a slut, if that slut has said no to them ( you follow that?..heh )

As for women who call other women sluts..yup..happens..and if it is that deeply ingrained placing men and women into different slots ..then...just as bad.

Again..LOOK at the calendar..:doh:

I personally don't look at ' promiscuity ' as being ok in a man. However, I was raised in this culture, and I know how my brain will still sometimes click into a certain mode when I hear certain words. None of grow up in a box. When I hear ' slut ', I pretty much see, in my head, an image that is female. It is conditioning. But for me...that's as far as it goes. Every person has the ability to change the way they think..and some might want to think about doing just that.

[Blackjack]

Uh ... aren't you the guy who kept insisting that I was unfairly mislabeling the behavior of a girl who slept with 20+ guys and then did a tell-all on Craig's list? That *was* you, wasn't it?

There's a significant difference between telling the stories and boasting about it. She obviously wasn't too proud of some of them- not something that one would brag about.

[TraciJo67]

There's a significant difference between telling the stories and boasting about it. She obviously wasn't too proud of some of them- not something that one would brag about.

Damn, where's my ROFL icon when I need it? I'm tired of the cheesy grin ...

Just admit that you jumped to a hasty conclusion, and that (like the rest of us) you're a bit of a hypocrite, Blackjack. I promise, it won't hurt much :D

[Jon Blaze]

Yeah, I get that. But men are expected to be "boastful of their promiscuity". So is that suggesting that men are, by virtue of societal expectations, sluts? Or is sluttiness just a chick thing?


Yea. That's one of society's biggest double standards: A man that sleeps with a hundred women is considered to be a master, and a woman that does the same is a slut. I personally hate it.

The dictionary at yahoo is biased too:
Sexy- Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest.

Slut- A woman considered sexually promiscuous.

Urban Dictionary was a little better:
A nasty term usually given by jealous men to women who are highly sexed and not satisfied by one man.
Men are not called slutty, just players or studs.

LULZ!
(But I do think men can take the term too. A hundred slides across satin with one hundered different women isn't always something that can be a badge of honor: Nor is it always a sign of ability. I'm not a woman, and I am a virgin: But I'm sure some women everywhere can attest to that.)

I personally think it goes on levels. If you are content with yourself, find yourself to be attractive on a physical level or more, and you have those 'Times": That usually implies sexy. As for slutty: I don't think it deals with how many partners, or promiscuity necessarily, but more to do with how the person responds to the partners, and timing. I don't know.. it would take me awhile :p, but I think if sex is the only reason one is in a relationship, of which they constantly go across partners (And constantly demand it [Nymphos that have moments beyond sex not included :p]) : Then it might just imply slutty, but not in all cases. I don't have much objection to "Swinging" for example (Especially when it's a couple that are doing it together), and some people here might consider that sluttation.

I guess it just depends. Mossy it right as well: Labels should never be laws, and our community labels are in the same boat. We are have subjective assessments of them. They're ok as guidelines, but not the laws of the trade.

"Owning ones sexuality is one thing, bragging about it, or using others only to gain our satisfaction is another..."

I think that sociabfly is on to something with this. You can have sex often, and crave it, but if it's your every move at each and every moment? Well......
I'm sorry: I really don't want to offend anyone.

"You are not a whore: But you are wearing a whore's uniform."

"Forgive me father: For I have sinned." :p

[Admiral_Snackbar]

A man that sleeps with a hundred women is considered to be a master, and a woman that does the same is a slut. I personally hate it. I have only one term for a man OR a woman who sleeps with a hundred partners: A CARRIER.

I do think slut is a heavily sexist term, since you never hear it applied to men. I think my distinction is pretty straightforward:

Sexy: I know if I poured on the charm, I could get him/her to dance with me/buy me a drink/go home with me, because I look good.

Slutty: I know if I poured on the charm and the sensuality, I could get every motherfucker in this ROOM to go home with me, because I am a sexual god/goddess.

Slutty is just Sexy turned up to 11. I could see a young woman in a habit and find her sexy. If she pulled aside the habit to reveal fishnet stockings, thigh-high boots and wearing blood red lipstick, I might see her as slutty.

That's just me though. In the dictionary next to the term "twisted" they have my picture printed.

[Jes]

I just wonder why, in 2007, we still deal with this dynamic, and it is assumed to be only about female behavior. This is what makes the whole issue oh so very sexist.

I guess I run with a different crowd..or try to, as difficult as it can be at times.

both words can represent very similar (or exactly the same) behaviors--'slutty' is what you call it when you want to moralize, put down, be hurtful, etc.

Yes, there are other distinctions but I do think this is the main one, so trying to define the words as if they're inherently different (or rather, referring to inherently different things) isn't the way I'd go about it.

[mossystate]

Yes..this is why I said it really depends on the person who is feeling a neeeeeed to slap labels all over the place. One person's trash is anothers treasure ( so to speak )..and there just ain't no pleasin whoever thinks they have, or does have, real or imagined power. No matter what...bottomline...this is all bullshit.

[Tina]

I agree. The problem I have with this kind of thread (and it's nothing personal against you, Earnest), is that it somehow encourages woman-bashing, and separating the 'good' women from the 'bad' women. The word "slut" is just too open to interpretation, and as has been mentioned is a very sexist term, so that almost anyone can be painted as a slut by someone out there. It's just not a useful discussion, or label/categorization, in my opinion.

[Forgotten_Futures]

On the most general level, people in general, and women more specifically, from my hetero POV, go from Sexy to Slutty when they hit the point of Trying Too Hard (TM). Sexy should be something that comes more or less naturally. Slutty... *shrug*.

Young woman in tight skirt and top: sexy.
Same woman in short skirt showing the bottoms of her butt cheeks, and low-cut top putting her cleavage on display: slutty.

[Ernest Nagel]

both words can represent very similar (or exactly the same) behaviors--'slutty' is what you call it when you want to moralize, put down, be hurtful, etc.

Yes, there are other distinctions but I do think this is the main one, so trying to define the words as if they're inherently different (or rather, referring to inherently different things) isn't the way I'd go about it.

First, I personally think this a great dialog, thanks to all for indulging. Yes, it touches on some tender areas, but not without purpose. There are so many good points here I'd like to address but I think Jes has touched on one that most intrigues me. The issue imo is largely, though not entirely, one of semantics. Try and think of words midway between sexy and slutty in English. Most fall clearly to one side or the other. English (and most other western languages) tend to be highly bifurcated. Something "belongs" clearly in one domain or another. Very little equivocation or fence straddling.

As another example of this, try to think of an English word in between friend and enemy? The closest most people can get is "acquaintance". So our language traps us in this "either/or" fallacy. In aboriginal languages there are interestingly many more gradations, especially concerning relationships and social status. In Inuit there are like 17 words in between friend and enemy.They actually have a word that means "I like you very much, but I wouldn't want to go seal hunting with you".

So labels are an issue, I'd agree; but I think what may really be needed is more labels?!? Are any of us really that simple, that easily classified? This or that? Good or evil, smart or stupid? I don't think labels are even the core issue so much as absolutism. Sexiness is not generally a "pure" condition; it may contain traces of sluttiness. Sluttiness inherently contains some sexy elements. In my narrow and delimited little mathworld I'd probably unconsciously try to run it down by numbers (i.e. she is 80% Goddess, 20% Trollop) but intellectually I'd know that's just kind of placemarker for deciding if I wanted to get to know her any better than that still gross generalization.

I'm tired and I don't want to say anything dumber than I probably already have but I do hope we can continue to explore this really intriguing (to me anyway) inquiry? At some level I think it gets us around to things about our language and culture that hold some possibility for improved understanding between the sexes. Thanks again for playing!

[Santaclear]

On the most general level, people in general, and women more specifically, from my hetero POV, go from Sexy to Slutty when they hit the point of Trying Too Hard (TM). Sexy should be something that comes more or less naturally. Slutty... *shrug*.

Young woman in tight skirt and top: sexy.
Same woman in short skirt showing the bottoms of her butt cheeks, and low-cut top putting her cleavage on display: slutty.

Handsome man in clothes that flatter his looks or physique in general: sexy.

Man with buttocks partly exposed or tip of cock peeking out from fly: slutty.

[Keb]

I'd summarize it as:

Sexy is hinting. Slutty is leaving no doubt.

[Littleghost]

I just wonder why, in 2007, we still deal with this dynamic, and it is assumed to be only about female behavior. This is what makes the whole issue oh so very sexist.

I guess I run with a different crowd..or try to, as difficult as it can be at times.

While it is sexist, it's also kinda the word and the audience. There are definitely guy sluts, but the word doesn't really fit well with that; they're called other things sometimes negatively or positively. Men tend to view male sluts as good (player), and I'd say it's mixed on how they view female sluts.
Women tend to view female sluts as bad and also male sluts as bad. But for some reason nothing really seems to have stuck in a derogatory way for men. They're just kind of general male insults without really specifying what is bad about the man. Note that while player might have originated as a bad term, it's pretty popular as a good term in a lot of circles.
I guess until men start criticsising other men and more women are less shamed by sexuality and at the same time don't overflaunt it, things'll stay the same.
It's gotta be tough to be a social engineer.:(

[Ernest Nagel]

I'd summarize it as:

Sexy is hinting. Slutty is leaving no doubt.

My nomination for best short definition! Also best T-shirt and bumper sticker. Thanks for not posting that right away, Keb! We'd have prolly not gotten much further. :p

Still, I think there's some work to be done here? :bow:

So where does the hint cross the boundary into doubtlessness? His mind or hers (or other hers)?

And btw, I concur with Mossy that it's sad on several levels that this conversation is not an historical one. Fact remains, though. It is what it is. We can deal or duck.

[Jes]

My nomination for best short definition! Also best T-shirt and bumper sticker. Thanks for not posting that right away, Keb! We'd have prolly not gotten much further. :p

Still, I think there's some work to be done here? :bow:

So where does the hint cross the boundary into doubtlessness? His mind or hers (or other hers)?

And btw, I concur with Mossy that it's sad on several levels that this conversation is not an historical one. Fact remains, though. It is what it is. We can deal or duck.

is it not still in context? My partner hinting I might lucky--sexy, sure. When he/she makes it obvious I'm going to get lucky, he/she turns into a slut?

So actual sex is slutty, while mere hinting is sexy? So sex isn't sexy?

Well now, ain't that a shame?

Dang, Dims, you done took the sexy out of sex. I never knew you had it in you (wait--is having it in you slutty?)

[Jes]

. But for some reason nothing really seems to have stuck in a derogatory way for men. I guess until men start criticsising other men and more women are less shamed by sexuality and at the same time don't overflaunt it, things'll stay the same.
.:(

Why, you don't say!

What will patriarchy think of next?! You crazy patriarchy, you!

[Ample Pie]

they're both mindsets limited by the person considering the terms.

der.

[Zandoz]

Sexy: Wonderful and more about how one conducts themselves rather than physical attributes

Slutty: To me the term is almost always inappropriate and inaccurate. About the only way I can see it fitting is when sexuality is used as a tool/weapon

[fatgirlflyin]

Sexy is unambiguous, unapologetic and straightforward. Also sexy is more about desire; slutty is about needs. No idea if any of that is "true", just playing around with it.


So if a woman is straighforward and unapologetic about getting her needs met is she then a sexy slut?

If so, I will wear that title proudly. :D

Really though, I think people in general spend too much time on labels. Just be who you are, be happy with who you are and don't worry about trying to pigeonhole everyone else.

[Ruby Ripples]

Sexy = anything that the person viewing finds arousing.

Slutty = male or female who goes out deliberately to have sex with a person who is married or in a relationship with someone who knows nothing about this. Or in any other sexual way causes harm.


I HATE the sexist use of slut and the fact that just simple amount of sex partners makes a woman a slut. Why is a woman who has had 300 single sex partners a slut when a man or woman who has only slept with... one person and has wrecked a marriage or relationship by having sex, not? It's just.. crazy.

Safe sex with multiple single, free agent partners is legal, and I can't see it as a problem. I had a friend who was very promiscuous and I adored her, she was the nicest most kind hearted person. She was looked down upon by a woman who had ruined two marriages (along with the husband of course) by having affairs with married men. Who are the sluts? The second woman and the man I think.

[Jes]

Who are the sluts? The second woman and the man I think.

And me. For reading this thread.

And Ernest. For starting it.

[Sandie_Zitkus]

Handsome man in clothes that flatter his looks or physique in general: sexy.

Man with buttocks partly exposed or tip of cock peeking out from fly: slutty.


One woman's slut is another woman's dreamboat. Tip of his cock peeking out of his fly................PRICELESS!!:D

[Ernest Nagel]

Long ago, I labeled you as Sheba, Queen of the Sexpots. Was I wrong? :wubu:

I think of SocialbFly as more the Jessica Rabbit of Dims; roger that! :p

Also, a little bird came to me as if in a dream or a PM and strongly suggested I recognize that Jes and ONLY Jes is right on this subject! More than right, she is BRILLIANT! And sexy! Very, very sexy! Further, I am very wrong!! 'Nuf said?

Incidentally, women who just say what they want; VERY sexy!

I also agree with SBF that this is not something easily resolved, Jes' wisdom and omniscience aside.

I was really taken with a quote I heard recently. "The best time to begin developing the character of a child is 100 years before they are born." Should this sexy/slutty thing have been resolved about the same time as women's suffrage? No doubt. The the term slut is, imo, a horribly archaic vestige of a time when women were regarded as chattel. It's basically a concept referencing "damaged goods". The problem is partly that those in control of "undamaged goods" seem to want to preserve the economic and social value of said goods.

Maybe this conversation is already played out, or as someone said to me, just a stale rehash from women's studies 101? Maybe not. If we're done here, fine. If anyone would like to continue this as an exploration of the nature of sexuality in the context of gender, color me interested. Embarrassed to say I never did Women's Studies 101. When I was in school that was a "feminist" (aka slut) class. Happily some things do change, however slowly. :D

[mossystate]

:doh:..only hint..flaunt, but don't fluant too much..check in with the person doing to judging and see what they think..oh, but wait, this next person says something different..you may have sex with x number of people..oh, too many?..ok, let me take x number of people away from that total..oh, I am getting you hard and you will ' allow ' me to be labeled this way, instead of that way..thanks so much master!..so, you say there is some deep sociological reason you want to know these things?..oh, but you like that definition and not so much that one..but that one over there is aaaalmost right..so you feel a need to pigeonhole me..ok, no problem, for my life experiences are all about you, or should be about you and you over there..am I ok?..am I disturbing you..do I make you uncomfortable or am I reminding you of what you are lacking in your own life and you need to lash out at wicked women who would not give you the time of day?..oh, please, just steer me in the right direction, for who I am as a human being is only as good as you defining me..let's pretend this is anything other than a personal issue on the part of people who are obsessed with making sure every other human being is wearing the appropriate scarlett letter..let's never move forward in our thinking...let's just sit on the couch and dig social lint from our belly buttons and fling it around..ahhhhh, that's the ticket.


^eta..this is played out..anything that any individual person is struggling with is pretty much all about them..IMO

[Jes]

Also, a little bird came to me as if in a dream or a PM and strongly suggested I recognize that Jes and ONLY Jes is right on this subject! More than right, she is BRILLIANT! And sexy! Very, very sexy! Further, I am very wrong!! 'Nuf said?

Incidentally, women who just say what they want; VERY sexy!

D
That you came to this realization on your own, Ernest, without any external prejudicial data, is very touching, to me. Very touching, indeed.

In fact, a little too touching. Please remove your hand.

But really, I don't think the thread is played out, more some of the --sorry, everyone--opinions.

it's a bit like that women in my Women and Legal Representation class in grad school who kept trying to tell us that because HER husband did the dishes after dinner WITHOUT her asking him, the whole notion of patriarchy was bunk.

I still dream of throttling her. I do, and I'm not ashamed to say so.

[mossystate]

Jes..sweet Jes..if you think this conversation will ever turn to anything more than defining labels..well, you have the wide eyed dreams of a bambina..heh. Of course this is about patriarchy, but a lot of what is in this thread is never going to touch that topic, well...unless it is to continue it...and, I would pay to watch you throttle that woman, and her hubby, who probably wanted platinum stars every time a fork came out with no egg stuck on it.

[Jes]

the master's tools may destroy the master's house but I've never been sure
we can use patriarchal language to destroy patriarchy. Makes me think of Marcuse's 'Language not only defines and damns the enemy, it also produces him; and this product does not represent the enemy as he really is, but rather how he must be in order that he fulfill his function in the establishment.'

and seriously, i love me some marcuse.


and i just want you to sit and think, for a second, Mo, about me sitting there, trying to talk about institutionalized inequality, infrastructurally (i just made that up!), the law, etc and then Crazy over there, on the other side of the table, saying: Well, my husband said I could keep my last name when I got married!

It's a thin line between homicide and suicide, that's all I'll say.

[Tad]

I read this thread, and began to wonder “well, what are the formal definitions of these words, anyway?” The definition of sexy was pretty straightforward in my Mirriam-Webster: “1: sexually suggestive or stimulating: erotic 2: generally attractive or interesting: appealing”

It kind of grated at me though, as I was looking up the word, that I found multiple “sex-something” phrases basically referring to attractiveness in women.

Then I went to look up slut. The definition was not really clear, and sent me on a chase through the dictionary looking up formal definitions of a chain of apparently related words, none of which themselves were all that clearly defined: minx, pert, wanton, saucy, cocky. After hitting vague definition after vague definition, in what is after all a well established and long running dictionary, I could only conclude that this whole concept resists neat definition. That it must be more a matter of opinion or other such relative thing, than any absolute thing that you could ever put a finger on.

Thinking about it some more, it seemed to me that the concept behind so many of those words I was led to from slut was appropriateness. That is, all of it seemed to be ways to describe a woman whose appearance or behavior was not considered appropriate. Leaving aside the whole world of sexism suggested by that idea for the moment, I do think that this suggests that it is not a question of sexy versus slutty. Rather there are two scales, both subjective. The first is how sexually suggestive, stimulating, or erotic something is to a particular observer. The second is how appropriate the observer feels that degree of sexiness is in the situation. On that latter scale ‘slutty’ would be one of the descriptions used at one end, there would be some point in the middle that would be considered tasteful or appropriate, and off at the other end you’d find words like dour, repressed, dowdy, square, and so on. I think the latter scale is even more highly subjective than the former.

For what it is worth, I do think that appropriateness scale is used on guys as well as on women. But of course men and women differ both on what things they are apt to take to extremes, and for what thing they tend to be judged the most unforgivingly.

All of the above are just my off the cuff musings while procrastinating. I reserve the right to change, mangle, or refute these in the future, after further consideration or education.

-Ed

[HottiMegan]

sexy is fishnets under your mini skirt

slutty is just the fishnets.

I laughed really hard over that.. cant rep ya again though :(

[HottiMegan]

I dont have much to add since there has been a great discussion on this. I have often been thought of as slutty for being a webmodel. I think slutty is often a way to put another person down. Someone might think i look slutty because i like to show my cleavage off but another would like it. I think the two labels are VERY subjective to the person using it in each instance.

[SocialbFly]

^eta..this is played out..anything that any individual person is struggling with is pretty much all about them..IMO

I couldnt agree more with that statement Mossy, the whole slut/goddess issue is something i struggle with...my mom taught me, and religion taught me, that i should "save" myself for marriage...so, therefore you are a fallen woman if you are no longer a virgin...also, the whole midwest ideal of 5 partners for the whole life is a good week for some women (tongue in cheek) we have talked about this subject on dimensions a lot, and i have to say again, i dont know the answer, i wish i could say i choose to have sex with whom i choose, yet, a part of me still hears the whisper in my ear of judgement calls...is this my issue, you bet, but i bet others here have had similar feelings...i struggle with this one a lot...someone who jokes abut sex are they slutty? when nothing is done? or is the person who knowingly has sex with multiple partners but is safe, but many in a week...yes, whose judgement call is that, except the person who looks in the mirror, yet the voice in your hear still yells loudly sometimes that it is not acceptable...

and TraciJo....i will ALWAYS BE YOUR Sheba Goddess, well, at least as long as you will keep me...

i like seeing what others have said and felt...as it is something i hate to admit it, but honestly do struggle with.

[SocialbFly]

this may be just about labels to many people, but it always makes me think of the quote that a talk show guy said..."until we see the differences and are ok with it, we will never see the similarities that exist" (or something similar to that)

[AnnMarie]

I couldnt agree more with that statement Mossy, the whole slut/goddess issue is something i struggle with...my mom taught me, and religion taught me, that i should "save" myself for marriage...so, therefore you are a fallen woman if you are no longer a virgin...also, the whole midwest ideal of 5 partners for the whole life is a good week for some women (tongue in cheek) we have talked about this subject on dimensions a lot, and i have to say again, i dont know the answer, i wish i could say i choose to have sex with whom i choose, yet, a part of me still hears the whisper in my ear of judgement calls...is this my issue, you bet, but i bet others here have had similar feelings...i struggle with this one a lot...someone who jokes abut sex are they slutty? when nothing is done? or is the person who knowingly has sex with multiple partners but is safe, but many in a week...yes, whose judgement call is that, except the person who looks in the mirror, yet the voice in your hear still yells loudly sometimes that it is not acceptable...

and TraciJo....i will ALWAYS BE YOUR Sheba Goddess, well, at least as long as you will keep me...

i like seeing what others have said and felt...as it is something i hate to admit it, but honestly do struggle with.

this may be just about labels to many people, but it always makes me think of the quote that a talk show guy said..."until we see the differences and are ok with it, we will never see the similarities that exist" (or something similar to that)

Agreed, and I feel that as long comments and thoughts like these come out and are discussed in threads like this, they certainly still have merit.

[Ernest Nagel]

"Obscenity is a moral concept in the verbal arsenal of the establishment, which abuses the term by applying it, not to expressions of its own morality but to those of another."
Herbert Marcuse

Substitute sluttiness for obscenity and I think he's pretty much on target? Thanks for reminding me of the redoubtable Mr. Marcuse, Jes.

[Jes]

"Obscenity is a moral concept in the verbal arsenal of the establishment, which abuses the term by applying it, not to expressions of its own morality but to those of another."
Herbert Marcuse

Substitute sluttiness for obscenity and I think he's pretty much on target? Thanks for reminding me of the redoubtable Mr. Marcuse, Jes.

welllllll.....sort of. But did you read a few paragraphs previous to this declaration? Because he was actually talking about cheesecake, so....

[Ernest Nagel]

welllllll.....sort of. But did you read a few paragraphs previous to this declaration? Because he was actually talking about cheesecake, so....

So?!? I like my wisdom like I like my women! Naked and taken completely out of context!

[Tina]

it's a bit like that women in my Women and Legal Representation class in grad school who kept trying to tell us that because HER husband did the dishes after dinner WITHOUT her asking him, the whole notion of patriarchy was bunk.

I still dream of throttling her. I do, and I'm not ashamed to say so.

Jes, that woman was totally right. It's like when an ex-employer told me that his wife never got menstrual cramps, so he believed that women were just faking it when they complained of theirs. That bit of information changed my life, really. It showed me that those cramps that doubled me over in pain were really just psychsomatic. You can imagine my amazement when the following period I had no. cramps. whatsoever. A miracle, really.

[SocialbFly]

and all i have to say, is a period with no cramps,or back ache merits a Hallelujahhhhhhh!!!!!

[Friday]

My definition? The difference between sexy and slut lies entirely in the motivation of the perp. I don't care if you do sleep with 300 people. If you're doing it because of the joy of sex and you take care to guard the physical/mental/emotional well being of both yourself and your playmates then I see no problem. If you're only interested in what it does for you, whether it's just getting your rocks off or something more material, and you don't care for about the wellbeing of whoever you're with (and others that may be affected)*, then you are a slut...or worse.

*Not taking care for your own wellbeing is just stupidity.

[BBWDREAMLOVER]

:doh::blink::huh: I need a drink after reading this thread..........

[BeautifulPoeticDisaster]

things that make you go hmmmmm....

this thread is one of them.

[wrestlingguy]

Can we hear from some of the sluts?

[tjw1971]

Personally, I've always thought the "double standard" with men vs. women having sex often is largely seen just because of the other "standards" we collectively cling to regarding relationships.

EG. Women still traditionally want men to "make the first move", preferring the role of "prey" to "predator", so to speak. (Before the ladies fire off their counter-arguments, telling tales of the guys they approached first ... let me just ask you; is that REALLY the "norm" for you, or was it "unique" enough that 1 or 2 specific incidents where you did it were memorable enough to recite here?)

When you're in the "standardized" male role of the one who generally makes those "first moves", you're measured by your success rate. Women, on the other hand, generally being in the "I just go out, try to look attractive, and wait for the guys to come up to me." role, would be expected to be more "selective". Their "success" in the eyes of others might be said to be measured more by their self-confidence and willingness to turn away quite a few "decent-looking potential mates", presumably because they KNOW they can do better.

If you want to see the whole "slut" terminology fade into extinction, you'd have to be in a world where women and men are equal in their aggressiveness in hooking up with new people.



My definition? The difference between sexy and slut lies entirely in the motivation of the perp. I don't care if you do sleep with 300 people. If you're doing it because of the joy of sex and you take care to guard the physical/mental/emotional well being of both yourself and your playmates then I see no problem. If you're only interested in what it does for you, whether it's just getting your rocks off or something more material, and you don't care for about the wellbeing of whoever you're with (and others that may be affected)*, then you are a slut...or worse.

*Not taking care for your own wellbeing is just stupidity.

[hadesnuggz]

my thoughts exactly^^^

[SocialbFly]

*raising hand*

predator here

[The Orange Mage]

EG. Women still traditionally want men to "make the first move", preferring the role of "prey" to "predator", so to speak. (Before the ladies fire off their counter-arguments, telling tales of the guys they approached first ... let me just ask you; is that REALLY the "norm" for you, or was it "unique" enough that 1 or 2 specific incidents where you did it were memorable enough to recite here?)


That reminds me, the other day me and my girlfriend were watching Snapped (yes, the show on Oxygen about women going nuts and killing people :D) and during a commercial break they had a little trivia question about "How often does the woman make the first move?"

The answer? 68%...I think.

My bullshit detector went off. Bigtime.

Then they explained that women make the first move a lot by "giving certain looks, playing with their hair, and other similar things."

And that explained it. Most dudes don't even notice those things. My girlfriend agreed with that sentiment.

And then after that Bridges of Madison County came on for the 5th time that day. :huh:

[Jes]

Did you get lucky right after that?

(hint to those unaware: watching BoMC is considered making the first move).

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

I shall attempt to outline the term based upon its contemporary usage.


Slut: (sl-uhtt)

Noun.

1. A woman who has at least 50% more sexual encounters than you do, also see a woman who has recently dumped you, a woman wearing revealing clothing whom you do not personally find attractive

2. any recently divorced/married/caught-on-tape-molesting-puppies female celebrity.

3. The current crush of a guy you wish to date, or the current gf of your ex.

4. Any woman you personally disapprove of.

[redhotmarkers]

Read the Ethical Slut... then join the revolution. :kiss2:

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

xD Awesome

[t3h_n00b]

sexy - personal; largely inaccessible
slutty - public; totally accessible

Ever notice that when someone says a girl is a slut its because she's been with everybody? Well lets say there are only 15 men out there, and a girl had sex with each of them once. But lets say there's another girl who had sex with only one of the guys, but they did it 85 times. Most people would rate the first girl as the slut though she's had less sex than girl 2. It seems like the difference isn't the amount of sex but the number of people she had it with and the assumed ease with which those people were able to get it. Its really a question of access and publicity to me.

[Waxwing]

So let's take this a bit further. Let's say being a slut means being promiscuous. Why is that innately wrong? Hint: it isn't.

Personal sexual choice should NOT have value judgments associated with it. Period. Full stop. It does, yes, and we need to change that.

[Ernest Nagel]

So let's take this a bit further. Let's say being a slut means being promiscuous. Why is that innately wrong? Hint: it isn't.

Personal sexual choice should NOT have value judgments associated with it. Period. Full stop. It does, yes, and we need to change that.

Let me just enthusiastically second that emotion, WW! And actions speak FAR louder than words!! :p

In all seriousness though, I agree completely. Sexuality in any expression should be as inherent and inalienable a right as religion or gun ownership. Rationally, much more so, imo.:bounce::eat2::bounce::eat2::bounce::eat2::

[Green Eyed Fairy]

The real question here is this:


What's the difference between a bitch and a slut?

Answer:
A slut will sleep with anyone
A bitch will sleep with anyone....but you ;) :p















Oh, how I laugh when they call me bitch....

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Handsome man in clothes that flatter his looks or physique in general: sexy.

Man with buttocks partly exposed or tip of cock peeking out from fly: slutty.


Either way...... hot ;) :wubu: :p

[Suze]

i think it's kinda slutty to show your asshole/vagina/tits on the internetz.

jmho

[mossystate]

yeah, ' photo shoots ' ( always chuckle when I see that term used all the time online ) using speculums...pffft...slutty...big time...

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Can we hear from some of the sluts?


I'm a virgin myself....so I can't help you :p



***Food for thought maybe? How come being a virgin is considered "bad" by some yet having "too many" partners is too? Who gets to decide, for everyone else, the "correct number"?

[Green Eyed Fairy]

i think it's kinda slutty to show your asshole/vagina/tits on the internetz.

jmho

I see assholes, dicks and p*ssies on the internet everyday........



OHHHHH you mean...nevermind :doh: :p

[Spanky]

How about the subtle differences with other adjectives like "hussy" and "skank".

and why is "skank" also a verb for what you do at a ska-fest??

just wonderin'.

Spank

[Green Eyed Fairy]

yeah, ' photo shoots ' ( always chuckle when I see that term used all the time online ) using speculums...pffft...slutty...big time...


Does this mean you didn't like it when I.....oooooppppssssssssss wrong window again :doh:

[mossystate]

Does this mean you didn't like it when I.....oooooppppssssssssss wrong window again :doh:


You know how many women here send me pictures of their ...stuff...sheesh!!...what the hell..can't I get a little penis...wait...where is John Lucas...he will be able to help...

[TraciJo67]

You know how many women here send me pictures of their ...stuff...sheesh!!...what the hell..can't I get a little penis...wait...where is John Lucas...he will be able to help...

John Lucas has an 8" penis, for the Bible tells us so.

[mossystate]

John Lucas has an 8" penis, for the Bible tells us so.

Jesus678910

[Jes]

or gun ownership. ::

eww.

POST DENIED.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

You know how many women here send me pictures of their ...stuff...sheesh!!...what the hell..can't I get a little penis...wait...where is John Lucas...he will be able to help...


Oh my Gawd........oh my effing goodness........oh noes.....it....won't.... let...me


ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHH

[Green Eyed Fairy]

John Lucas has an 8" penis, for the Bible tells us so.


The Gospel of John Lucas?

[Admiral_Snackbar]

John Lucas has an 8" penis, for the Bible tells us so.
Bill Brassky has a toenail on the end of his penis. They use his foreskin as a tarp at Yankee stadium ;)

[Mack27]

Sluts play a key role in the religion I'm inventing.

[Lushbombshell]

Sluts do things others want or for acceptance or attention, . Sexy is owning your power and Choosing the sex life you want for your own enjoyment.xxx
Lush

[irish_redhead]

I've skimmed most of this topic - and it seems that people are equating the labels as being directly related to sex and motivation. While yes, traditionally sluttiness is in reference to sexual experience, and there are stereotypes associated with the label of a slut (men want a "slut in the bedroom", women are threatened by one and use the term in a derogative manner), we could dare to look at it in a different way.

Sluttiness in terms of behaviour, fashion, promiscuity etc. can be interpreted as insecurity, a need for affection and approval. Camera whores who thrive on anonymous attention (hello Myspace) to fulfill some perverse need for attention - good or bad - acheive it through acting slutty.

Sexiness, on the other hand, is confidence and security. Carrying yourself with pride, and being unapologetic for who you are is sexy.

Someone with self esteem (we'll call her Ms. Sexy) can sleep with the same number of people as someone insecure (call her Ms. Slut), yet not be worthy of the same label. In the end it comes down to your personal motivation, desires and regrets. A slut will regret who she is, because she's not happy with herself, and is not respectful of herself - therefore others won't respect her either. Ms. Sexy will live life to the fullest, bear no shame, and be attractive to those who know her because her motivation is enjoyment, not reassurance.

[GordoNegro]

Sexy: Gets treated to Steakhouse or Bistro
Slut: Gets treated to 4th Meal at best

All bad jokes aside, double standards work both ways, as men are expected to know what their doing and perform in the bedroom; especially as some women do not feel like taking the time to teach etc.

Though men who has slept with '300' women can be described as a man-whores, sick or just crazy. Though if a man revealed to have been with so many, a health conscious female could tell him to pack his stuff, do not pass go, do not collect $200.00.

[Blackjack]

Though men who has slept with '300' women can be described as a man-whores, sick or just crazy.

I dunno if I'd call them sick or crazy. I mean, I'm an FA, and I still think that she's pretty hot.

http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o207/MurphmanFA/30014.gif

[Jes]

I've skimmed most of this topic - and it seems that people are equating the labels as being directly related to sex and motivation. While yes, traditionally sluttiness is in reference to sexual experience, and there are stereotypes associated with the label of a slut (men want a "slut in the bedroom", women are threatened by one and use the term in a derogative manner), we could dare to look at it in a different way.

Sluttiness in terms of behaviour, fashion, promiscuity etc. can be interpreted as insecurity, a need for affection and approval. Camera whores who thrive on anonymous attention (hello Myspace) to fulfill some perverse need for attention - good or bad - acheive it through acting slutty.

Sexiness, on the other hand, is confidence and security. Carrying yourself with pride, and being unapologetic for who you are is sexy.

Someone with self esteem (we'll call her Ms. Sexy) can sleep with the same number of people as someone insecure (call her Ms. Slut), yet not be worthy of the same label. In the end it comes down to your personal motivation, desires and regrets. A slut will regret who she is, because she's not happy with herself, and is not respectful of herself - therefore others won't respect her either. Ms. Sexy will live life to the fullest, bear no shame, and be attractive to those who know her because her motivation is enjoyment, not reassurance.

why not just call that what it is? confident v. insecure? Aren't those labels enough? Why must we moralize the whole thing and use OTHER labels, if we're trying to say what you just said above? If you think it's not a moral judgement we're levying then how do we explain why men aren't called sluts? We need to be precise with our language and using another word when you've already used the most descriptive ones above seems disingenous.

[Johnny718Bravo]

I'll take Sexy over Slutty any day. Sexy is all in the attitude. You can be fully clothed and be sexy. I find intelligence and a good sense of humor to be sexy. Sexy = Classy = A true Lady

[Mack27]

I always thought sluts who were also bimbos were sexy, its a little side-fetish I have, otherwise not so much. Didn't there used to be a word "himbo" for male bimbos? Not exactly the same thing as a male slut but in the ballpark. "Boy-toy" is not the same but its another negative phrase, its bruising to a male ego with any pride to be thought of as a "kept man." That's another double-standard I guess, people don't look so negatively on "kept women."

[Wannabefatgirl]

I agree, I would rather be a slut for my man and no one else. But I deliver what I promise, always!

[10centporkchop]

Sexy is dignified, not obvious, and requires one to use some immagination. Slutty is in your face, look at me, attention whore. Examples of sexy are stars from the past like Dorothy Lamour, and Barbara Stanwyk. Today's stars are slutty and look like they stink such as Jennifer Lopez and the Olsen twins.

[Forgotten_Futures]

In-your-face can most definitely be sexy... so long as it's done right.

[olwen]

Sexy is being able to arouse desire in a man while fully clothed. Slutty is being able to arouse that desire when half clothed or fully nude. Both require confidence, it's just that sexy confidence is not defined by how many people you've been with or whether or not you need others to find you desirable. You're sexy if you find yourself desirable in anything you wear. Slutty is confidence that only exists when you get negative attention from others.
Sexy is meaningful sex and slutty is empty sex for both men and women.

I see a woman as a slut if she's got all her boobs and ass in some super tight revealing number. A sexy girl knows just how to emphasize the right areas in the right amounts....I know it when I see it. But basically a slut always needs male attention and a sexy woman doesn't.

[Theresa48]

In my opinion, this sums up what a slut is...

Online Etymology Dictionary - Cite This Source - Share This

slut
1402, "a dirty, slovenly, or untidy woman," probably cognate with dialectal Ger. Schlutt "slovenly woman," dialectal Swed. slata "idle woman, slut," and Du. slodder "slut," but the ultimate origin is doubtful. Chaucer uses sluttish (c.1386) in ref. to the appearance of an untidy man. Also "a kitchen maid, a drudge" (c.1450; hard pieces in a bread loaf from imperfect kneading were called slut's pennies, 18c.). Meaning "woman of loose character, bold hussy" is attested from c.1450; playful use of the word, without implication of loose morals, is attested from 1664.

"Our little girl Susan is a most admirable slut, and pleases us mightily." [Pepys, diary, Feb. 21, 1664]

Sometimes used 19c. as a euphemism for bitch to describe a female dog. There is a group of North Sea Gmc. words in sl- that mean "sloppy," and also "slovenly woman," and that tend to evolve toward "woman of loose morals" (cf. slattern, also Eng. dial. slummock "a dirty, untidy, or slovenly person," 1861; M.Du. slore "a sluttish woman").

:)

[Forgotten_Futures]

Auras are important too. I've a friend who can go from sexy to slutty to registering nothing without changing clothing or dominant behavior (I've experienced this in person). I was also in her room once (with a mutual female friend of ours), deep in conversation when I suddenly realized she had begun changing, and was at the stage of being in her underwear. Something about the way she was doing it, the aura she gave off or some such, made this event seem completely normal - as though she had been garbed in nought but her underwear the whole time. And she's quite attractive by my standards. Yet she's literally gotten a rise out of me only once, the one time she was *trying* to get a reaction from me. We often talk playfully with each other, verging into and out of somewhat aggressive flirting, and neither of us has the slightest problem. For some reason, this I find incredibly sexy, this ability to play around and not feel threatened, or in any way anxious. Feeling perfectly normal about it all, yet having loads of fun in the process. It might be worth noting that both of us are capable of "reading" auras, and controlling our own, though she's better than I at it.

[docilej]

...slutty and sexy is about $200.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

...slutty and sexy is about $200.


Best.post.in.the.thread. ;)

[Forgotten_Futures]

I came to a sudden "revelation" on this topic while driving home today (I sometimes think while I'm driving, actually does help focus me) and I don't know if I made this point already, but I should have, so I will in case I didn't.

The real deciding factor, to me, is that a woman in general has tools. Looks, charm, cunning, intelligence, what have you. Obviously the strength of these tools varies from woman to woman.

Sluts, almost by definition, have to USE their tools. They cannot work passively, but must be actively applied (even if in a passive manner - clothing, for instance, is passive until it's in use for a track) in order to draw a targ in and score him (or her, as the case may be). They usually have little if anything else to offer except their tools, and they are often lacking in the less tangible ones (read: no brains. It is not without coincidence that I once drew a correlation between a woman's intellect and the size of her breasts... and have since found that to be an excessively accurate theory.).

Sexy women, by contrast, don't have to conciously apply their tools. They are no less capable of drawing in a person, but most times he/she is not actually a commited targ. Their tools usually operate in a passive manner. And most importantly, they normally have quality tools of the less tangible kind (read: brains). This in no way diminishes their attractiveness, except perhaps to men and women who are specifically looking for a slut.

For example, a slut may have difficulty attracting a targ's interest if she is not wearing tight or revealing clothing. Her other skills may be adequate, but without the distinctiveness of a physical form to focus on, she is reduced in effectiveness.

A sexy woman, by contrast, is as attractive in everyday womanly wear, baggy sweats, sweat-drenched and mud-smeared sports attire, or just rolled out of bed and looking like something out of a horror movie (okay, maybe not that last one...). Her presence alone is enough to draw looks, but rather than capitalize on them as a slut would likely try to do, she acts as though she's oblivious to the eyes on her, content to know she's wanted without needing anything more.

[Fascinita]

Slut is what a woman is called when she behaves like a man when it comes to sex. Because that is considered degenerate behavior in a woman, "slut" and "slutty" are therefore pejorative terms. To call a woman slutty is to hurl an insult at her, clearly. "Slut" and "slutty" are used as normative, punitive language. That is, it's language that tries to put people in their place by shaming them.

Some women wear the label proudly, sometimes in an effort to reclaim sexuality for their gender. After all, there's nothing inherently wrong with a woman wanting sex and being promiscuous as men do and are. I have used it to refer to myself, in the past. I also know other women who have done the same, in the style of other groups who have reclaimed bigoted language for their own use.

As to what the elegant, subtle distiction that there may be between "slutty" and "sexy," it's meaningless to me personally. At large, I suspect, there's an attempt in drawing that distinction to again regulate female sexuality. I bet just about everyone'll tell you they want a sexy partner--who values wholesale chastity anymore? I bet, too, that you'll be hard-pressed to find a man who'll tell you he wants to marry a slut. "Sexy" vs. "slutty" is the new version of "virgin" vs. "whore." One is good, the other's bad. You'd marry the first, and you might have a good time with the other.

One would hope that we'd have found a way to move beyond the tired old, medieval "virgin and whore" trope. That's been deconstructed by plenty of smart people as "just two sides of the same coin." It all hinges on male anxieties about female sexuality and frankly feels outdated and by now fangless to me, in a world where women no longer have to depend on men for their economic wellbeing to the extent that they did in the middle ages. Old habits die hard I suppose. The way some people speak of it, asking them to stop seeing the world in terms of sluts and good girls is worse than asking the Virgin Mary to lift up her skirts and show us her panties.

[Ruby Ripples]

...slutty and sexy is about $200.

Can you explain exactly what you mean here? do you mean clothing? I have for many years only worn cheap clothes as I can't afford anything more. I've never in my entire life looked what people call "slutty". Or do you mean ... what you would spend on one vs the other? Again, I wouldnt expect money spent on me. Or do you mean, hiring prostitutes?

If it's either of the first two, then I would fit into the slutty category, which is crap.

Please can you explain what your comment meant, as I honestly am unsure. Or Caroline maybe you could, as you appear to know.

I despise the whole "slut" words usage, and contrary to what I've read here, I truly believe that it's women who keep it going nowadays, not men.

[Jes]

One would hope that we'd have found a way to move beyond the tired old, medieval "virgin and whore" trope.

abandon hope all ye who enter here.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Can you explain exactly what you mean here? do you mean clothing? I have for many years only worn cheap clothes as I can't afford anything more. I've never in my entire life looked what people call "slutty". Or do you mean ... what you would spend on one vs the other? Again, I wouldnt expect money spent on me. Or do you mean, hiring prostitutes?

If it's either of the first two, then I would fit into the slutty category, which is crap.

Please can you explain what your comment meant, as I honestly am unsure. Or Caroline maybe you could, as you appear to know.

I despise the whole "slut" words usage, and contrary to what I've read here, I truly believe that it's women who keep it going nowadays, not men.


I took it to mean a prostitute myself........:blink:


I found it amusing mainly because this whole "argument" or attempt to define is kind of silly...and really shows some "old fashioned" and "box-like" thinking.


and yes, I concur that women really go a long way towards holding other women "back" or "down" with attitudes...and how we treat one another.
But then again, we only get treated as good as we treat ourselves......

[Fascinita]

abandon hope all ye who enter here.

I'll say!

Toot toot!

[MisticalMisty]

I can't believe this thread is over a year old and I never noticed it before..weird.


SOOO..here's my 2 cents for the day. One person's insult is another person's turn on.

I love the word. LOVE THE WORD. It's totally a turn on for me especially when used during play or intercourse.

I think in today's society the definition of such terms is forever changing. Words that were once used as insults or put downs are now being taken and used differently.

It reminds me of the whole debate about using the term fat instead of all the other "niceities" we have for it.

I love the word fat. I adore it and refer to myself as a fat girl LONG before I"ll ever refer to myself as a ssbbw. There are some that hate the word and are instantly insulted if it's brought up in their presence. Different strokes for different folks.

So, in summary..lol. I'm a sexy fatty who can be very slutty under the right circumstances ;) LOL

[Green Eyed Fairy]

I can't believe this thread is over a year old and I never noticed it before..weird.


SOOO..here's my 2 cents for the day. One person's insult is another person's turn on.

I love the word. LOVE THE WORD. It's totally a turn on for me especially when used during play or intercourse.

I think in today's society the definition of such terms is forever changing. Words that were once used as insults or put downs are now being taken and used differently.

It reminds me of the whole debate about using the term fat instead of all the other "niceities" we have for it.

I love the word fat. I adore it and refer to myself as a fat girl LONG before I"ll ever refer to myself as a ssbbw. There are some that hate the word and are instantly insulted if it's brought up in their presence. Different strokes for different folks.

So, in summary..lol. I'm a sexy fatty who can be very slutty under the right circumstances ;) LOL






Excellent way to view it and put it :bow:

[amber83]

Hmmm...

I am a human, but I am also animal, thus, I have desires. However, I know how to keep them in check.

I would consider myself sexy, not slutty. However, I suppose it depends on the definition you're going by. Some people think if you're not a virgin on your wedding night, you're a slut. If you enjoy sex, you're a slut.

I wasn't a virgin when I got married and I certainly enjoy sex, so if that makes me a slut, guilty as charged! I refuse to repress my sexual desires to fit into society. My sex life is nobody's business but my own.

[vermillion]

I will have sex with whoever I want...whenever I want..where ever I want...as many times as I want.

I will dress as I please...
If I feel like letting half of my tits hang out...I will...and I do.

I will have sex with as many people as I want to....


I will not fall in love with everyman that gets to put his penis inside me....



In a nutshell...
I'm a huge slut...
I must be a horrible person....

[KHayes666]

I will have sex with whoever I want...whenever I want..where ever I want...as many times as I want.

I will dress as I please...
If I feel like letting half of my tits hang out...I will...and I do.

I will have sex with as many people as I want to....


I will not fall in love with everyman that gets to put his penis inside me....



In a nutshell...
I'm a huge slut...
I must be a horrible person....

yes quite horrible but we love u anyway

[Green Eyed Fairy]

I will have sex with whoever I want...whenever I want..where ever I want...as many times as I want.

I will dress as I please...
If I feel like letting half of my tits hang out...I will...and I do.

I will have sex with as many people as I want to....


I will not fall in love with everyman that gets to put his penis inside me....



In a nutshell...
I'm a huge slut...
I must be a horrible person....


Holy gawd....if I could dig women, I would stalk you :wubu: :)

[jennabelle]

If someone said this already I'm sorry....I didn't read everyone's post. But....do you think its slutty to TRY to be sexy? I think sexy is something the person doesn't realize....something that has a combination of confidence in ones self and knowing how to let loose and have fun.

EXAMPLE: St. Patrick's Day

I went bar hopping. At one bar I decided to get up on the bar and dance with one of my friends....there were some other girls on the bar too. I danced "sexy" but I did not dance "raunchy" like grabbing the other girl's asses and crotches and licking their necks and stuff....I just think thats being "slutty."

[jennabelle]

I will have sex with whoever I want...whenever I want..where ever I want...as many times as I want.

I will dress as I please...
If I feel like letting half of my tits hang out...I will...and I do.

I will have sex with as many people as I want to....


I will not fall in love with everyman that gets to put his penis inside me....



In a nutshell...
I'm a huge slut...
I must be a horrible person....


Sorry for the double post. But to be quite honest I feel exactly the same. Life is experience...no matter what that experience may be.....and some people have more then others.

[SocialbFly]

I will have sex with whoever I want...whenever I want..where ever I want...as many times as I want.

I will dress as I please...
If I feel like letting half of my tits hang out...I will...and I do.

I will have sex with as many people as I want to....


I will not fall in love with everyman that gets to put his penis inside me....



In a nutshell...
I'm a huge slut...
I must be a horrible person....

i think that is the hardest thing for men to hear, that you WON'T fall in love with them just after having some great sex...my heart and my brain and my gonads are not connected most of the time...every rare once in a while i get myself into trouble, falling for someone my brain says to not like....but my gonads, well they seem to be pretty damn smart....

just saying....


and Vermillion..being safe and smart...that is everyones own option...and having a brain of your own is what makes you smart AND sexy...a lethal combo

[MsGreenLantern]

I believe the term "Man-whore" just needs to be more liberally applied. When a man acts like a slut, I find it to be a huge turn-off as much as a lot of relationship minded men might think of this "slut" phenomenon in a woman. Anyway..just as sexy is good self esteem, I've always seen slut as the low self esteem. I've only met one girl in my life I'd call a slut, and she didn't even enjoy the sex..she just wanted to momentary affection and attention fix. THAT is a slut to me, not a woman who likes sex and takes what she wants.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

^^I concur with Ms GreenLantern that a man that doesn't respect himself, his body or others is not attractive....even a big turn off. I prefer a man that makes me feel "special" as in he doesn't hit on and sleep with every available woman...that he is more discerning in his preferences/tastes.

Funny, that candy store analogy comes to mind again.....I also hate it when a man, even inadvertently so, makes me feel like I was the Milky Way he had to get because the store was out of the Snickers bar that he really wants. I tend to never want to talk to him again if I get that vibe......


I'm glad that someone thought to apply this "behavior" to both sexes instead of just women......

[CleverBomb]

Funny, that candy store analogy comes to mind again.....I also hate it when a man, even inadvertently so, makes me feel like I was the Milky Way he had to get because the store was out of the Snickers bar that he really wants.
You = Ferrero Kinder Surprise (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinder_Surprise). :)

-Rusty
(Mounds Don't.)

[Green Eyed Fairy]

You = Ferrero Kinder Surprise (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinder_Surprise). :)

-Rusty
(Mounds Don't.)

I think I was just called an egg full of surprises...that works for me, Rusty. :) :kiss2:

[Crystal]

Funny, that candy store analogy comes to mind again.....I also hate it when a man, even inadvertently so, makes me feel like I was the Milky Way he had to get because the store was out of the Snickers bar that he really wants. I tend to never want to talk to him again if I get that vibe......


I love this analogy. It's right on point.

It's horrible to feel this way, too.

[Mack27]

I love sluts. There's no jealousy because you know going in they can't be faithful (yeah, just like studs, which I'm not one.) For clarification you can act slutty or studly without being a slut or a stud, I stand by my statement that sluts and studs are incapable of fidelity. You can talk with them about things other women never want to hear. A true slut will have sex with a married man not because she wants him to be her man but because she wants to have a sexual relationship with no strings attached. Home-wreckers are much worse than sluts. Bimbos are much more practical, being concerned with material wealth so much. A slutty bimbo will often be mislabeled as a slut while a bimbo-ish slut is actually much more benign. Oh and while some find the slut factor sexy or not sexy as the case may be its completely possible to be a very sexy slut or a not-so sexy slut, just like everyone else.

[SocialbFly]

I love sluts. There's no jealousy because you know going in they can't be faithful (yeah, just like studs, which I'm not one.) For clarification you can act slutty or studly without being a slut or a stud, I stand by my statement that sluts and studs are incapable of fidelity. You can talk with them about things other women never want to hear. A true slut will have sex with a married man not because she wants him to be her man but because she wants to have a sexual relationship with no strings attached. Home-wreckers are much worse than sluts. Bimbos are much more practical, being concerned with material wealth so much. A slutty bimbo will often be mislabeled as a slut while a bimbo-ish slut is actually much more benign. Oh and while some find the slut factor sexy or not sexy as the case may be its completely possible to be a very sexy slut or a not-so sexy slut, just like everyone else.

Good grief, it must be hard to be a sexual woman in your world.....all those labels....

[Mack27]

Good grief, it must be hard to be a sexual woman in your world.....all those labels....

Isn't everybody sexual?

[mossystate]

Good grief, it must be hard to be a sexual woman in your world.....all those labels....

Social...you tried...never believe you did not...try....LOL...:doh:

[SocialbFly]

Social...you tried...never believe you did not...try....LOL...:doh:

Indeed, albeit unsuccessfully...some people just don't get it....sigh. :doh:

[TheSadeianLinguist]

I love sluts. There's no jealousy because you know going in they can't be faithful (yeah, just like studs, which I'm not one.) For clarification you can act slutty or studly without being a slut or a stud, I stand by my statement that sluts and studs are incapable of fidelity. You can talk with them about things other women never want to hear. A true slut will have sex with a married man not because she wants him to be her man but because she wants to have a sexual relationship with no strings attached. Home-wreckers are much worse than sluts. Bimbos are much more practical, being concerned with material wealth so much. A slutty bimbo will often be mislabeled as a slut while a bimbo-ish slut is actually much more benign. Oh and while some find the slut factor sexy or not sexy as the case may be its completely possible to be a very sexy slut or a not-so sexy slut, just like everyone else.

I have fucked someone legally married, although separated, I did not necessarily know that there'd be commitment.

I am totally capable of fidelity. I've never cheated on a partner.

I've certainly been called a slut. That's a term used to degrade women. "Stud" is a term that we aren't afraid to use in front of five year olds. Try that with "slut."

See the sexism?

[Mishty]

I have fucked someone legally married, although separated, I did not necessarily know that there'd be commitment.

I am totally capable of fidelity. I've never cheated on a partner.

I've certainly been called a slut. That's a term used to degrade women. "Stud" is a term that we aren't afraid to use in front of five year olds. Try that with "slut."

See the sexism?

I LOVE when she does that.....

:bow:

[SocialbFly]

It's to early for this.....

:doh:

hahahaha, are we ever ready to hear that?? I am not, i struggle with it myself (good girl bad girl issues), dont need someone who doesnt get it to tell me i am it....lol.

[Mishty]

hahahaha, are we ever ready to hear that?? I am not, i struggle with it myself (good girl bad girl issues), dont need someone who doesnt get it to tell me i am it....lol.

THA-ANK YOU!

My struggles are oppisite from most (yeah I'm a frigid prude, because I don't have the desire to roll around with the first 21 year old idiot at the bar that hits on me,wtf?)

But his views of stud/slut were a lil 1954 for me....

But hey, if I had hot FA's sniffing at my hills I'd be a major FAT SLUT, and love someone mention it.

I yam, what I yam.

[KHayes666]

THA-ANK YOU!

My struggles are oppisite from most (yeah I'm a frigid prude, because I don't have the desire to roll around with the first 21 year old idiot at the bar that hits on me,wtf?)

But his views of stud/slut were a lil 1954 for me....

But hey, if I had hot FA's sniffing at my hills I'd be a major FAT SLUT, and love someone mention it.

I yam, what I yam.

Note to self....don't be the first 21 year old to hit on her, be the second lol

[Kortana]

There's no such things as SLUTS- it's 2008 people.

A slut is just aword used by a man when he has been jilted by a sexually confident woman who only wanted one thing from him- to "get off" and get out.

[Blackjack]

There's no such things as SLUTS- it's 2008 people.

A slut is just aword used by a man when he has been jilted by a sexually confident woman who only wanted one thing from him- to "get off" and get out.

I'll make sure to let women know about this when I hear them using the term- which is really more often than I hear men using it.

[Kortana]

Are you following me?

Ha, I agree with you and it's too bad actually....

[Mishty]

There's no such things as SLUTS- it's 2008 people.

A slut is just aword used by a man when he has been jilted by a sexually confident woman who only wanted one thing from him- to "get off" and get out.

Ok, yeah, you're right.....:happy:
But that doesn't mean the word isn't still used....

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

THA-ANK YOU!

My struggles are oppisite from most (yeah I'm a frigid prude, because I don't have the desire to roll around with the first 21 year old idiot at the bar that hits on me,wtf?)

But his views of stud/slut were a lil 1954 for me....

But hey, if I had hot FA's sniffing at my hills I'd be a major FAT SLUT, and love someone mention it.

I yam, what I yam.


*sniffs at Missblueyedeath's hills* =3

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

There's no such things as SLUTS- it's 2008 people.

A slut is just aword used by a man when he has been jilted by a sexually confident woman who only wanted one thing from him- to "get off" and get out.


I'll make sure to let women know about this when I hear them using the term- which is really more often than I hear men using it. -Blackjack


All of this brings me back to my original definition.


Slut: (sl-uhtt)

Noun.

1. A woman who has at least 50% more sexual encounters than you do, also see a woman who has recently dumped you, a woman wearing revealing clothing whom you do not personally find attractive

2. any recently divorced/married/caught-on-tape-molesting-puppies female celebrity.

3. The current crush of a guy you wish to date, or the current gf of your ex.

4. Any woman you personally disapprove of.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

Isn't everybody sexual?

Well, nuns aren't, and neither are eunachs. =o The same holds true for people who spend most of their time shopping with lots of coupons, loudly discussing their non-malignent skin disease, and writing angry "letters to the editor".

[Kortana]

Well, nuns aren't, and neither are eunachs. =o The same holds true for people who spend most of their time shopping with lots of coupons, loudly discussing their non-malignent skin disease, and writing angry "letters to the editor".

Wouldn't unfullfilled sexuality be sexuality in itself?

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Wouldn't unfullfilled sexuality be sexuality in itself?


I don't know about that but he got me awfully hot and bothered his talk about coupons and nuns......:wubu: :doh:

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

But having that doesn't make the sexual. Anyway, I think the eunachs might not even have sexuality, unfulfilled or otherwise.

[Kortana]

But having that doesn't make the sexual. Anyway, I think the eunachs might not even have sexuality, unfulfilled or otherwise.

Actually.....just for conversation sake..they do. I read a book called "Eunich" by Anne Rice all about their sexuality. Although Anne Rice is a fiction writer it ended up causing a spark in me to investgate further. (I am a very curious person) They are actually VERY sexual people- just in a very different way.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

I stand corrected.

*"The More You Know" star flies overhead*

[Kortana]

I stand corrected.

*"The More You Know" star flies overhead*


HA HA HA. FLASHBACK! LOL

Now, shall we discuss if Eunuchs are slutty or sexy?

naw..moving on...LOL

[Mack27]

I have fucked someone legally married, although separated, I did not necessarily know that there'd be commitment.

I am totally capable of fidelity. I've never cheated on a partner.

I've certainly been called a slut. That's a term used to degrade women. "Stud" is a term that we aren't afraid to use in front of five year olds. Try that with "slut."

See the sexism?

If you're capable of fidelity you're not a slut. I'm sorry if someone incorrectly called you one. Slut is not a negative term in my mind if you didn't notice. Stud and Slut are flip sides of the same coin completely equivalent to me. See the lack of sexism?

[Mack27]

There's no such things as SLUTS- it's 2008 people.

A slut is just aword used by a man when he has been jilted by a sexually confident woman who only wanted one thing from him- to "get off" and get out.

Not by this man. You can't speak for me uh-uh, too bad. Slut-lovers unite!

http://images.cafepress.com/product/131618305v1_150x150_Front.JPG (http://www.cafepress.com/iloveshirts/607481)

[olwen]

Slut is what a woman is called when she behaves like a man when it comes to sex. Because that is considered degenerate behavior in a woman, "slut" and "slutty" are therefore pejorative terms. To call a woman slutty is to hurl an insult at her, clearly. "Slut" and "slutty" are used as normative, punitive language. That is, it's language that tries to put people in their place by shaming them.

Some women wear the label proudly, sometimes in an effort to reclaim sexuality for their gender. After all, there's nothing inherently wrong with a woman wanting sex and being promiscuous as men do and are. I have used it to refer to myself, in the past. I also know other women who have done the same, in the style of other groups who have reclaimed bigoted language for their own use.

As to what the elegant, subtle distiction that there may be between "slutty" and "sexy," it's meaningless to me personally. At large, I suspect, there's an attempt in drawing that distinction to again regulate female sexuality. I bet just about everyone'll tell you they want a sexy partner--who values wholesale chastity anymore? I bet, too, that you'll be hard-pressed to find a man who'll tell you he wants to marry a slut. "Sexy" vs. "slutty" is the new version of "virgin" vs. "whore." One is good, the other's bad. You'd marry the first, and you might have a good time with the other.

One would hope that we'd have found a way to move beyond the tired old, medieval "virgin and whore" trope. That's been deconstructed by plenty of smart people as "just two sides of the same coin." It all hinges on male anxieties about female sexuality and frankly feels outdated and by now fangless to me, in a world where women no longer have to depend on men for their economic wellbeing to the extent that they did in the middle ages. Old habits die hard I suppose. The way some people speak of it, asking them to stop seeing the world in terms of sluts and good girls is worse than asking the Virgin Mary to lift up her skirts and show us her panties.

I'm out of rep for you. Damn.

I agree with all of this. It's strange too. I feel like men want both the madonna and the whore in the same woman. Meaning they want a loyal and faithful woman to want to have sex as badly as they do, as often as they do, in the same ways that they do without moral judgements, and they don't want women to be disgusted by their fluids or anything else about them or their sexuality. But since we moralize female sexuality to such an absurd degree, women are taught to repress their sexuality, that becomes the essence of the whole madonna/whore problem. If women were taught to be free sexual explorers this issue might begin to disappear forever.


I can't believe this thread is over a year old and I never noticed it before..weird.


SOOO..here's my 2 cents for the day. One person's insult is another person's turn on.

I love the word. LOVE THE WORD. It's totally a turn on for me especially when used during play or intercourse.

I think in today's society the definition of such terms is forever changing. Words that were once used as insults or put downs are now being taken and used differently.

It reminds me of the whole debate about using the term fat instead of all the other "niceities" we have for it.

I love the word fat. I adore it and refer to myself as a fat girl LONG before I"ll ever refer to myself as a ssbbw. There are some that hate the word and are instantly insulted if it's brought up in their presence. Different strokes for different folks.

So, in summary..lol. I'm a sexy fatty who can be very slutty under the right circumstances ;) LOL





I like the word too. It's a fun role to play with.

I will have sex with whoever I want...whenever I want..where ever I want...as many times as I want.

I will dress as I please...
If I feel like letting half of my tits hang out...I will...and I do.

I will have sex with as many people as I want to....


I will not fall in love with everyman that gets to put his penis inside me....



In a nutshell...
I'm a huge slut...
I must be a horrible person....

Exactly. Did I already rep you for this?

I believe the term "Man-whore" just needs to be more liberally applied. When a man acts like a slut, I find it to be a huge turn-off as much as a lot of relationship minded men might think of this "slut" phenomenon in a woman. Anyway..just as sexy is good self esteem, I've always seen slut as the low self esteem. I've only met one girl in my life I'd call a slut, and she didn't even enjoy the sex..she just wanted to momentary affection and attention fix. THAT is a slut to me, not a woman who likes sex and takes what she wants.

I'm having trouble with this. I'm not so sure I like the term "man-whore" either. Why not just use words like jiggolo or player in a bad way?

Why shouldn't a woman like sex enough to be the predator and take it and have it whenever and where ever she wants with whomever she wants? Why should that be slutty? I'd say that's a woman owning her sexuality without reproach. But what's so wrong with that? Isn't that what men do sometimes? Aren't they encouraged to do it too? We should all be free to have sex for whatever reasons we want as long as our partners are aware of what's going on. There just shouldn't be any confusion about whether or not two or more people are in an NSA situation.

I love sluts. There's no jealousy because you know going in they can't be faithful (yeah, just like studs, which I'm not one.) For clarification you can act slutty or studly without being a slut or a stud, I stand by my statement that sluts and studs are incapable of fidelity. You can talk with them about things other women never want to hear. A true slut will have sex with a married man not because she wants him to be her man but because she wants to have a sexual relationship with no strings attached. Home-wreckers are much worse than sluts. Bimbos are much more practical, being concerned with material wealth so much. A slutty bimbo will often be mislabeled as a slut while a bimbo-ish slut is actually much more benign. Oh and while some find the slut factor sexy or not sexy as the case may be its completely possible to be a very sexy slut or a not-so sexy slut, just like everyone else.

I can't even begin to explain why I think this sounds ridiculous....as if a slut is incapable of any humanity at all. You'd be the guy who says "She's just a whore. Nobody will miss her when she's gone." You'd be the guy who decides to treat a slut without consideration cause you don't see her as a human being, just a cum dumpster. Shame on you. If you think a non-slut doesn't like sex as much as a slut, then you don't understand women at all....

And let's define faithful. So if I wear converse for years and years and one day decide to wear new balance, does that make me unfaithful to converse if I still have a pair of them? Are we talking about emotional faith or physical faith? Some would be okay with one kind and not the other. How much more valuable is one over the other? Is the whore unfathful no matter what and the madonna faithful no matter what? Is female sexuality so black and white?

[Mack27]

I can't even begin to explain why I think this sounds ridiculous....as if a slut is incapable of any humanity at all. You'd be the guy who says "She's just a whore. Nobody will miss her when she's gone." You'd be the guy who decides to treat a slut without consideration cause you don't see her as a human being, just a cum dumpster.


Um no, I'm the guy who values sluts so I wouldn't say anything like that about them or treat them with anything less than respect. Thanks for putting words in my mouth though. Whores are in a completely different category by the way, human sexuality is enormously complex so there are tons of categories, There is no such thing as "just a whore" either, whores are people too. You'd be the one who goes around telling people what they would say and how they would treat people. Shame on you.
http://images.cafepress.com/product/24940605v2_150x150_Front_Color-AshGrey.JPG

[olwen]

Touche Mack.

...Sorry, but that's how I interpreted your previous statement. It just didn't seem to make much sense to me. ...I can't be the only one who interpreted what you said in that way. Can you explain exactly what you feel those differences are, like how is a slut different from a whore. What exactly is it that you respect about sluts? I'm not sure that's clear from your earlier statement....I am an educated woman who likes to talk about sex, but I wouldn't consider myself a slut or a whore, and I am capable of being with one person at a time. But, according to part of your definition I would be a slut or a whore simply for that reason. Is that what you really mean or is there more to it than what you say...I just want to understand you correctly. Can you expand on or clarify this? I just want to know exactly what you mean.

I do agree tho that human sexuality is extrememly complex, and so that's why I like discussing it.

[Mack27]

Touche Mack.

...Sorry, but that's how I interpreted your previous statement. It just didn't seem to make much sense to me. ...I can't be the only one who interpreted what you said in that way. Can you explain exactly what you feel those differences are, like how is a slut different from a whore. What exactly is it that you respect about sluts? I'm not sure that's clear from your earlier statement....I am an educated woman who likes to talk about sex, but I wouldn't consider myself a slut or a whore, and I am capable of being with one person at a time. But, according to part of your definition I would be a slut or a whore simply for that reason. Is that what you really mean or is there more to it than what you say...I just want to understand you correctly. Can you expand on or clarify this? I just want to know exactly what you mean.

I do agree tho that human sexuality is extrememly complex, and so that's why I like discussing it.

Some of Mack27's sexual definitions:

Slut, noun...A lusty promiscuous woman for whom sexual intercourse with multiple partners is the norm. A heterosexual slut is often uncomfortable around other women and prefers the company of men. A slut is incapable of sexual monogamy but may still be capable of forming deep emotional relationships.

Slutty, adj..To have some but not necessarily all the characteristics of a slut.

Whore, noun...A promiscuous woman who uses sex for material gain. Whores value the friendship of other whores.

Bimbo, noun...A shallow, promiscuous materialistic female who often-times will use her sexuality for material gain. Typically bimbos are not that bright. Bimbos are generally fun-loving and can be whorish or slutty.

Gold-digger gender-neutral noun...A calculating individual who will use sex or any other means necessary to get his or her targets to form emotional attachments (typically so they will marry them) for the purpose of material gain.

The male equivalents of slut, slutty, whore and bimbo are stud, studly, man-whore (or hustler,) and himbo.

I respect whores because they are honest about what they are doing for the most part. Sluts are who they are and I don't see anything wrong with it. Bimbos are usually really fun, especially if they think you have money. I like gold-diggers the least of this bunch but home-wreckers are worse.

[olwen]

Some of Mack27's sexual definitions:

Slut, noun...A lusty promiscuous woman for whom sexual intercourse with multiple partners is the norm. A heterosexual slut is often uncomfortable around other women and prefers the company of men. A slut is incapable of sexual monogamy but may still be capable of forming deep emotional relationships.

Slutty, adj..To have some but not necessarily all the characteristics of a slut.

Whore, noun...A promiscuous woman who uses sex for material gain. Whores value the friendship of other whores.

Bimbo, noun...A shallow, promiscuous materialistic female who often-times will use her sexuality for material gain. Typically bimbos are not that bright. Bimbos are generally fun-loving and can be whorish or slutty. Not sure how you see the difference between a Bimbo and a whore. Is a whore simply not shallow?

Gold-digger gender-neutral noun...A calculating individual who will use sex or any other means necessary to get his or her targets to form emotional attachments (typically so they will marry them) for the purpose of material gain. Is a gold digger any different from a con artist?

The male equivalents of slut, slutty, whore and bimbo are stud, studly, man-whore (or hustler,) and himbo.

I respect whores because they are honest about what they are doing for the most part. Sluts are who they are and I don't see anything wrong with it. Bimbos are usually really fun, especially if they think you have money. I like gold-diggers the least of this bunch but home-wreckers are worse.

Thanks for the clarification. Yours are interesting definitions. I see you've given a lot of thought to this. I wonder what your idea of a non-slut, non-whore is. What would be the polar opposites? How much virtue are you placing on a monogamous woman? What would you label a woman who is in an open relationship or a woman who's partner wants to see her with other men? Are you ambivalent to that sort of arrangement?

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Some of Mack27's sexual definitions:

A heterosexual slut is often uncomfortable around other women and prefers the company of men.




Just curious....do all these labels.....errrrrrrrrrrrr definitions include one for a hetero woman that just prefers the company of men....but doesn't have sex with them? Did you think that far....just wondering.....


Also....who told you this stuff? Your Daddy? Boys at school?

[pendulous]

Flapper or slapper?

[SocialbFly]

Just curious....do all these labels.....errrrrrrrrrrrr definitions include one for a hetero woman that just prefers the company of men....but doesn't have sex with them? Did you think that far....just wondering.....


Also....who told you this stuff? Your Daddy? Boys at school?

ok, reason number 1000 example that some people just don't fucking get it.

[Mack27]

Thanks for the clarification. Yours are interesting definitions. I see you've given a lot of thought to this. I wonder what your idea of a non-slut, non-whore is. What would be the polar opposites? How much virtue are you placing on a monogamous woman? What would you label a woman who is in an open relationship or a woman who's partner wants to see her with other men? Are you ambivalent to that sort of arrangement?

Someone who's not a slut or a whore could be a million other things, a babe, a prude, a drama queen, a needy neurotic, a shrew, an amazon, a nun, a barfly, a frigidaire, an earth mother, a sub, a dom, a martyr, a june cleaver... the list goes on and on.

I've made a personal decision to try and not to make moral judgements on peoples sexual behaviors. Users and abusers are hard to like though.
People are who they are. I believe honor is a virtue, so if someone honors a commitment they've made there is virtue in that.

It takes all kinds, and you could have someone pegged as one thing but they could turn out to be something completely different. It may seem simpler to dispense with the labels and just take everyone as an individual, but its actually simpler to use your own personal experience to make mental judgements, which I think most everyone does "Oh, she's like THAT..I've run into his type before..." and these judgements evolve with new information and interaction if you're smart.

[Mack27]

Just curious....do all these labels.....errrrrrrrrrrrr definitions include one for a hetero woman that just prefers the company of men....but doesn't have sex with them? Did you think that far....just wondering.....


Also....who told you this stuff? Your Daddy? Boys at school?

A hetero woman who prefers the company of men but is not slutty is a "one of the guys chick." You'll see them occasionally with a small group of men (2 to 6 maybe) having a couple drinks after work. This type of woman is generally very fondly thought of by her male companions and she is generally very adept and non-plussed about brushing off ill-conceived or drunken advances.

There's a web community (not nearly as evolved as this one) that values bimbos, sluts and whores. In their minds these are not negative terms. There's bimbo erotic fiction, bimboslut archives, message boards, the whole deal. Why shouldn't a promiscuous woman be thought of the same way (value wise) as a promiscuous man? Gay and queer were generally thought of as pretty negative terms at one time too. "Fat" has negative connotations to a lot of people, certainly not to me.

[Mack27]

ok, reason number 1000 example that some people just don't fucking get it.

Are you this hostile to everybody who sees the world a little bit differently from you?

[SocialbFly]

Are you this hostile to everybody who sees the world a little bit differently from you?

um, believe me, it is far more than "a little bit differently", trust me on that one.

[olwen]

Someone who's not a slut or a whore could be a million other things, a babe, a prude, a drama queen, a needy neurotic, a shrew, an amazon, a nun, a barfly, a frigidaire, an earth mother, a sub, a dom, a martyr, a june cleaver... the list goes on and on.

I've made a personal decision to try and not to make moral judgements on peoples sexual behaviors. Users and abusers are hard to like though.
People are who they are. I believe honor is a virtue, so if someone honors a commitment they've made there is virtue in that. So what you're saying is, a whore isn't virtuous because she has chosen to not honor a commitment to monogamy. Sounds like you're making a moral judgement to me.

It takes all kinds, and you could have someone pegged as one thing but they could turn out to be something completely different. It may seem simpler to dispense with the labels and just take everyone as an individual, but its actually simpler to use your own personal experience to make mental judgements, which I think most everyone does "Oh, she's like THAT..I've run into his type before..." and these judgements evolve with new information and interaction if you're smart. How can you take everyone as an individual if you've already decided your criteria for what makes a whore a whore? You'll apply those criteria whether you're aware of it or not.

A hetero woman who prefers the company of men but is not slutty is a "one of the guys chick." You'll see them occasionally with a small group of men (2 to 6 maybe) having a couple drinks after work. This type of woman is generally very fondly thought of by her male companions and she is generally very adept and non-plussed about brushing off ill-conceived or drunken advances. After analyzing what you've said, I'm left to conclude that to you women can be broken up into neat little categories so you can try to tell right away whether or not you should be suspicious about that girl you think is hot. You ask yourself before you even get to know her if she will cheat on you, use you, abuse your trust, and break your heart....Despite what you may tell yourself about how enlightened you think you are, as far as female sexuality goes, you still see women as puzzle boxes you've got to solve, rather than as just plain human. Granted I don't know you from atom, but I'm just going by the posts you've made in this thread.

There's a web community (not nearly as evolved as this one) that values bimbos, sluts and whores. In their minds these are not negative terms. There's bimbo erotic fiction, bimboslut archives, message boards, the whole deal. Why shouldn't a promiscuous woman be thought of the same way (value wise) as a promiscuous man? Gay and queer were generally thought of as pretty negative terms at one time too. "Fat" has negative connotations to a lot of people, certainly not to me.

[Mack27]

Its my fault, I'm not communicating my meaning well enough. You all seem to be getting completely different vibes than what I'm attempting to send.

You can be a slut, you can be a whore, you can even be a condescending asshole on a message board...and still be a sexy good person.

[olwen]

Its my fault, I'm not communicating my meaning well enough. You all seem to be getting completely different vibes than what I'm attempting to send.

You can be a slut, you can be a whore, you can even be a condescending asshole on a message board...and still be a sexy good person.

but that still implies that sluts are bad, but I think i get what you're trying to say:

Sluts are good people despite what society says. Yes? If that is so then we're in agreement.

[Olga_NYC]

Slutty: To me the term is almost always inappropriate and inaccurate. About the only way I can see it fitting is when sexuality is used as a tool/weapon

I agree, I don't think we can label someone a "slut" based on clothing alone. I mean, then if my partner asks me to wear a particular type of lingerie I'm going to be a slut for wearing it :confused:. There's just gotta be more to it.

And I think the key is what Zandoz said, which would be using sexuality as a tool or weapon. For example, having sex with unavailable people or using sex as a means to getting ahead in jobs, or any situation in life.



Someone with self esteem (we'll call her Ms. Sexy) can sleep with the same number of people as someone insecure (call her Ms. Slut), yet not be worthy of the same label.

Oh my goodness, ladies. I would be super careful to equate "insecurity" with "sluttiness"!

They can happen together, yes, but they're separate.

I mean, some of us aren't super secure or confident... but it has NOTHING to do with being sluts!

Actually, you can be an INSECURE VIRGIN ! :doh:

[exile in thighville]

you guys say slutty like it's a bad thing. ;)

[SocialbFly]

you guys say slutty like it's a bad thing. ;)

Mark it on the dockets, it is the first time i agree with you, no wait, fully agree with you. lol.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

I beg to be called a slut during sex......ooooppppssssss.....errrrrrrrrrr I thought this was the random confessions thread. My bad......:doh: :p

[olwen]

I agree, I don't think we can label someone a "slut" based on clothing alone.I mean, then if my partner asks me to wear a particular type of lingerie I'm going to be a slut for wearing it :confused:. There's just gotta be more to it.

And I think the key is what Zandoz said, which would be using sexuality as a tool or weapon. For example, having sex with unavailable people or using sex as a means to getting ahead in jobs, or any situation in life.




Oh my goodness, ladies. I would be super careful to equate "insecurity" with "sluttiness"!

They can happen together, yes, but they're separate.

I mean, some of us aren't super secure or confident... but it has NOTHING to do with being sluts!

Actually, you can be an INSECURE VIRGIN ! :doh:

Two days ago, my 17 year old niece wanted to wear a dress that barely covered her bootie. I almost said "That dress is slutty. Do you really want people to think of you that way?" But I caught myself and inwardly cringed. There I was all prepared to perpetuate some ridiculous stereotype about female sexuality despite all the ways that stereotyping bothers me.

So as not to use the word "slutty", I found myself trying to explain to her about how wearing that dress would invite men to make more unwanted advances at her than they would if she wore a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. That some men would think of her as easy if she wore it and just not respect her because of it. And then I said something like, "It's not your fault if guys want to make passes at you, cause they will no matter what you wear, but you don't have to make it so easy for them..." In the end she put on a pair of shorts under it and I felt better.

The whole conversation made me uncomfortable. Not because I have to have these sort of sex talks at all, but because it's difficult to explain to a 17 year old who doesn't think about this stuff at all, about how we all moralize sexuality. How to explain about why we all put the bulk of that moral responsibility on the woman, and about how that seems to be okay whenever it's convenient even tho that thinking is reductive...and I was guilty of doing this very thing I despise. I felt guilty for feeling guilty....

I think I had another point...What was my point?....right, it makes sense to me to want to say clothes don't make the slut. Behavior does, but to some people (and as much as I don't want it to be) wearing skimpy clothes is an example of behavior...I think I said something earlier in the thread about how you could be sexy without taking off all your clothes, but I'm too lazy to check right now....

The real problem to me is the actual definition of "slut." Is it negative? Is it positive? Does it matter? Should it matter? I would like for it to mean something like: a slut is a woman who owns her own sexuality in the same way that a man would own his; She is able to own it without reproach. Without negative associations. But how do you explain that to a 17 year old?

[OneHauteMama]

I beg to be called a slut during sex......

You too, huh?? LMAO Take me from behind and pull my hair cause I'm a nasty slut and I deserve it....

*whoops...I think my fingers got carried away with my train of thought!*

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Olwen, I wish it would let me rep you for that post. I feel the need to "tread softly" with my own daughters and not give them the message that it's okay for them, or other girls, to be labeled because of the clothes they wear.

Kudos to you for handling it so well :)

[olwen]

Thanks GEF. :)

[mossystate]

Olwen....Greenie

Let's wish that the boys, who might be saying inappropriate things to girls who have stuff hanging out, have their own decent people in their lives, who will tell them that just because a girl is dressed.....a certain way.....you keep your rude to yourself.

Yeah....a dream...

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Yeppers, Mossy....I do tend to blame some of the rude/stupid attitudes I encounter in some men on their parents own ignorance

[Waxwing]

Olwen, I wish it would let me rep you for that post. I feel the need to "tread softly" with my own daughters and not give them the message that it's okay for them, or other girls, to be labeled because of the clothes they wear.

Kudos to you for handling it so well :)

I got Olwen for you.

[olwen]

Olwen....Greenie

Let's wish that the boys, who might be saying inappropriate things to girls who have stuff hanging out, have their own decent people in their lives, who will tell them that just because a girl is dressed.....a certain way.....you keep your rude to yourself.

Yeah....a dream...

That is a nice wish. Not only that, but let's hope the kids who learn to respect women pass it down to their kids too.

[Fascinita]

A woman is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. Therefore, do or don't exactly as you like, ladies. Remember that living well is the best revenge.

[ThikJerseyChik]

A woman is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. Therefore, do or don't exactly as you like, ladies.

Remember that living well is the best revenge.


Amen, sister!

[olwen]

A woman is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. Therefore, do or don't exactly as you like, ladies. Remember that living well is the best revenge.

Well, damn.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Is it time for us to post pics of our naughty bits yet? :p

[Rojodi]

Is it time for us to post pics of our naughty bits yet? :p

Should I start?

[CleverBomb]

Is it time for us to post pics of our naughty bits yet? :p
Oh, I certianly hope so!

-Rusty
(It''s not? Drat.)