I need advice, re: pubic hair (not my own)

[altered states]

I'm not at all into the "shaved" thing on women. However, I've realized that what until recently I thought was my GF being natural was actually the result of a certain amount of grooming. By that I mean, she's way hairier down there now than ever, and frankly I'm not into it. I enjoy oral sex, a lot, but I'm literally choking on the stuff and it's making it hard for me to perform and also for me to fully enjoy myself.

So my question is, how do I ask her to go back to her old grooming habits? I'm really into her in all other ways physically and she's great in bed. I've never told her to change anything about her appearance because I never felt the need to, and I feel that if I bring this up now (after 18+ years!) it will go over like a lead balloon and really put a damper on lovemaking and how she feels about herself. Or, she'll see me as shallow (imagine).

[Sugar]

Ask while you're not in bed if there was a reason she stopped. If you feel like you can ask after she's given her reason then do so. Every person is different, w/o knowing her reason for stopping can't really say what you should do...eh.

[love dubh]

+1 on asking when you two are not in bed - that territory is too charged and asking at that time could be full of implications. Best do it when you two are relaxed and not in a sexual situation. If she doesn't do it anymore because of reach issues, or what not - then you should offer to lend a hand! ;) ((I've had my BF do it for me once, and it's not all that weird, honestly - except for a slight fear of being nicked)). Tell her how much you enjoy oral and loved her previous pubic situation and that the additional hair is hampering your ability to perform and enjoy the act.

Or she could just be lazy about it for a while - shaving and maintaining can be a bit of a pain, and it's nice to just forget about it for a bit.

[D_A_Bunny]

I would think after so long you may had other conversations in the past regarding such personal matters that may have set a precedent by which you can discuss this with her.

In other words, if it were me, (well it wouldn't, cause I'm the girl) but anyway, I might say something like, "Honey I would love to take a walk in your garden tonite, will the gardener be coming by this afternoon for a trim?" Of course, offering to play gardener if necessary.

Seriously, I have no problem telling hubby, "yeah, you need to scrub that thing after working out in the heat all day". He happily complies because he is then rewarded. :blush:

[altered states]

+1 on asking when you two are not in bed - that territory is too charged and asking at that time could be full of implications. Best do it when you two are relaxed and not in a sexual situation. If she doesn't do it anymore because of reach issues, or what not - then you should offer to lend a hand! ;) ((I've had my BF do it for me once, and it's not all that weird, honestly - except for a slight fear of being nicked)). Tell her how much you enjoy oral and loved her previous pubic situation and that the additional hair is hampering your ability to perform and enjoy the act.

Or she could just be lazy about it for a while - shaving and maintaining can be a bit of a pain, and it's nice to just forget about it for a bit.

It must be the lazy thing (she's insanely flexible), and I just realized, it could be a skin irritation thing - it's been hot and sweaty here in NYC and she tends to be sensitive to that.

And yeah, I'd never, ever bring it up in bed!

I would think after so long you may had other conversations in the past regarding such personal matters that may have set a precedent by which you can discuss this with her.

Yeah, you'd think, but it doesn't necessarily work that way. I bet there are couples who go 80 years and still not really have a template to deal with certain issues.

In other words, if it were me, (well it wouldn't, cause I'm the girl) but anyway, I might say something like, "Honey I would love to take a walk in your garden tonite, will the gardener be coming by this afternoon for a trim?" Of course, offering to play gardener if necessary.

Seriously, I have no problem telling hubby, "yeah, you need to scrub that thing after working out in the heat all day". He happily complies because he is then rewarded. :blush:

I think hygiene criticism is easier for men to handle. But yeah, you're right, probably if she knew I was asking this, she'd be like "Why didn't you just SAY something?!"

And now that you both mention it, I would very much be into shaving her. That might be a solution.

[Ernest Nagel]

How smart is she? Could you just swap out her vibrator with a Flowbee now and then? Or tell her The Flowbee is a special device for making her more orgasmic?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-pxGRa5_lM&feature=related

My only other thought would be 'how do you feel about corn-rows?' :p

[Waxwing]

I agree with everyone-- don't ask her while you're in flagrante. But it shouldn't be a big deal to ask your mate to groom belowdecks. It's just polite to make sure that your loved one isn't forced to floss, and since she was shaven before she clearly isn't against the idea.

[altered states]

I agree with everyone-- don't ask her while you're in flagrante. But it shouldn't be a big deal to ask your mate to groom belowdecks. It's just polite to make sure that your loved one isn't forced to floss, and since she was shaven before she clearly isn't against the idea.

The more I think about it, the thing about me asking is that I've never asked for anything sexually before. I realize that's weird in 18+ years, but that's how it is. The good news is that she's really intuitive, so there usually doesn't need to be a big discussion. The bad news is that now that I do have a request, there's really no precedent so I'm flatfooted.

Seriously, it really might be heat-related skin irritation down there. Anyway we're headed out to the Hamptons in a couple of weeks and she's gonna have to do something about the thatch one way or another or no bikini for her, because I know she's not the "natural" type when it comes to that.

[Waxwing]

The more I think about it, the thing about me asking is that I've never asked for anything sexually before. I realize that's weird in 18+ years, but that's how it is. The good news is that she's really intuitive, so there usually doesn't need to be a big discussion. The bad news is that now that I do have a request, there's really no precedent so I'm flatfooted.

Seriously, it really might be heat-related skin irritation down there. Anyway we're headed out to the Hamptons in a couple of weeks and she's gonna have to do something about the thatch one way or another or no bikini for her, because I know she's not the "natural" type when it comes to that.

Yeah, if you haven't discussed sexual things openly before, it can be hard to start. I've been in relationships like that, and it makes you feel totally out of your depth when finally do have to bring up usually undiscussed topics.

[Ernest Nagel]

The more I think about it, the thing about me asking is that I've never asked for anything sexually before. I realize that's weird in 18+ years, but that's how it is. The good news is that she's really intuitive, so there usually doesn't need to be a big discussion. The bad news is that now that I do have a request, there's really no precedent so I'm flatfooted.

Seriously, it really might be heat-related skin irritation down there. Anyway we're headed out to the Hamptons in a couple of weeks and she's gonna have to do something about the thatch one way or another or no bikini for her, because I know she's not the "natural" type when it comes to that.

Well, Tres, just because I believe any awkward conversation can be avoided by buying a gadget of some kind (and also because the Flowbeaver attachment for my previous suggestion is chronically out of stock. Apparently the Asian manufacturing facility does not grasp the need?!?) I took the time to look up another highly recommended bush-buster: http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/reviews/3212936.html - strong enough for a man, but safe for a woman. Charge up, swoop in and voila', no lettuce on her love taco for a fortnight! Dilemma depilitated and no messy talking.

But DOOD!! 18+ years as a GF?!?! :bow::bow::bow: You need to start a seminar or write a book! I'd be careful about asking for anything either, lest it start a bothersome ringing in her ears.:p:huh::doh:


You know I'm just kidding. Sounds like you have a great relationship! I wish you munch luck!:eat2:

[altered states]

Well, Tres, just because I believe any awkward conversation can be avoided by buying a gadget of some kind (and also because the Flowbeaver attachment for my previous suggestion is chronically out of stock. Apparently the Asian manufacturing facility does not grasp the need?!?) I took the time to look up another highly recommended bush-buster: http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/reviews/3212936.html - strong enough for a man, but safe for a woman. Charge up, swoop in and voila', no lettuce on her love taco for a fortnight! Dilemma depilitated and no messy talking.

Funny you should bring this gadget up - I was thinking of getting one for myself. I have some hairy-ass semetic shoulders and back and I always have the GF Nair 'em before I have to go to the beach or pool or wherever.

They should make a glow in the dark version though, so that during lovemaking I can just work it into the action.

But DOOD!! 18+ years as a GF?!?! :bow::bow::bow: You need to start a seminar or write a book! I'd be careful about asking for anything either, lest it start a bothersome ringing in her ears.:p:huh::doh:

What can I say? I'm a pimp. Seriously, though, after the first 5 years we kept saying to each other, We should get married, right? But our hearts weren't in it. We'd make plans then drop them and then start up again. Then we wound up attending about a dozen weddings of friends and family in fairly short order and realized what a horrible, expensive, alienating process it is, really a bizarre construct that has no significance to modern folks like us (beyond legal stuff, which can be taken care of in other ways for far less money).

'Round about year 10 I gave her a ring anyway, a huge rock in a platinum setting I inherited from my grandmother, and she seems fine with that. So I guess she's actually my fiancé.

[Ernest Nagel]

Good on you and her both, Tres! Defying convention is a pretty good formula for success. :bow: You saw the white text in my last post, right? :D

BTW, my body hair has an SPF of approx 10-15. And in the winter I can snip small bundles of it to use as kindling. Talk about shaving money?!? :doh:

[Waxwing]

What can I say? I'm a pimp. Seriously, though, after the first 5 years we kept saying to each other, We should get married, right? But our hearts weren't in it. We'd make plans then drop them and then start up again. Then we wound up attending about a dozen weddings of friends and family in fairly short order and realized what a horrible, expensive, alienating process it is, really a bizarre construct that has no significance to modern folks like us (beyond legal stuff, which can be taken care of in other ways for far less money).

'Round about year 10 I gave her a ring anyway, a huge rock in a platinum setting I inherited from my grandmother, and she seems fine with that. So I guess she's actually my fiancé.

That's awesome, Eggs. I love seeing couples who are happy and committed who don't feel that compelled to have a ceremony when they don't want to. Go you! And congrats!!

[Kareda]

Have you thought about grooming yourself and just say that you've heard that women enjoy oral more when its done , its more sensitive for you etc. and just open up the conversation that way. I know thats how I got my hubby to trim. I went from being groomed to bare but he knows I talk about sex with my friends so I mention the pros for me being bare and he gets the idea to try shaving his down a bit. Now he keeps it that way. Maybe your girlfriend react in the same?

[liz (di-va)]

1. You win for best subject line today.

2. It might be important to note that your gf felt like doing this for 18 years--if I'm reading your post right--and has recently stopped. You're not trying to get her to do something she's never done before, but something she had always done until recently. So I'd bring the issue up carefully, just on the off chance there's a Reason for it. </$.02>

If she's just sick of doing it, then, yeah--helping would seem to be a great solution.

[BeaBea]

Seriously, it really might be heat-related skin irritation down there. Anyway we're headed out to the Hamptons in a couple of weeks and she's gonna have to do something about the thatch one way or another or no bikini for her, because I know she's not the "natural" type when it comes to that.

As soon as I read that I kind of saw a lightbulb. Is it possible she's thinking about how high maintenance the next few weeks are going to be and is just taking a break while she still can?

I'm a 'girly' girl and I love perfume, makeup and grooming etc as much as the next chick but there are some jobs that just aren't that much fun and bikini maintenance is definitely one of them! I do it because I enjoy the benefits, but I'm never going to clapping my hands and skipping with joy at the thought of a few hours of SSBBW origami, chemicals and blades.

Just a thought!
Tracey xx