a private BBW board: thoughts, please

[mergirl]

No. I am specifically saying that I am uncomfortable discussing certain issues around men, period. I don't see the creation of a private women's health board as something detrimental to men. I see it as a place where a woman can discuss her uncomfortable fat issues without it becoming wank fodder. I want to replicate the privacy that the SSBBWs have with their board.
Ahh so you mean a bbw only board and not a woman only board?
If it was a 'womans board' would lesbian Fa's be allowed in? If so how do we make sure they are not using womens fat health issues as wank fodder too?

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Just out of curiosity, why is a board where non-members could read and not post unacceptable? What's the negative about that?

There's a way around that. You could make it against the rules of the board to post anything that is said on the private board on the public boards.



This I can understand. It would make it difficult for a guy to try to get an understanding of how to be sensitive to those issues, though.

You know......aren't you the same guy that just said in another thread you don't like jokes about the penis and won't discuss sex? You're the guy that doesn't even like flirting/teasing/joking on that level.

You truly don't understand why I'm not willing to discuss my gynecological questions and issues out in the open? :blink:

Let me make it simple then: It's none of your business. I only discuss this stuff with other women, health care providers or my husband/lover.

If YOU feel comfortable talking about your itchy balls, ripped anus, your prostrate or whatever wonderful things your body might do at one time out where EVERYONE can know those things about you then go for it.

I'm not down with it myself though. Kapiche?

So why the vehement resistance to even discussing the possibility that it could be so much more? It's so wearying to constantly read that what I'm suggesting is such a far-fetched idea. Should I just go back to posting pictures of my belly? Would that make you happier? I don't understand the consistent request to end this conversation because it's bringing up "hurt feelings."

Do you want to know what hurts my feelings?

What about the hurt feelings of some of the BBWs here that keep getting these messages that what we want/need/request is of no importance and should not even be discussed?

Yeah it's great if people want a private place to talk about their shame of being attracted to us but we should just stfu. Nice messages being sent out to us to let us know how unimportant we are.....
Thanks so fucking much.



I don't see why you think a private forum for women to discuss private health issues should be fee-based when the current paysite board doesn't have that restriction. That's some bullshit sexist double-standard, vardon_grip. If your concern is generating money, that's some big-time money-making idea right there. Think about that one for awhile. Then come back and tell me another awesome idea.

Yep. Free fap material all over this board but us bitches should stfu if we have anything else we might want to talk about.

Know what is MOST mind-blowing about this? I all the time see the men complaining of women being too whatever this and that....so when we ask for a private place to TALK ABOUT OURSELVES (not others), it's a big deal yet not worth talking about.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

NoWayOut, perhaps you haven't read the posts here at all because "uncomfortable" has been cited plenty of times. This argument will continue to become circuitous if those of you who don't support this board continue to ignore the repeated reasoning why the idea for this board was brought up in the first place: Women want a "private" place to discuss uncomfortable mental and physical health issues. This board will not be a place to talk about anything unrelated to health issues. It is a forum for women who are too uncomfortable to post in the current open health board.

Yes, my thoughts exactly when I read his question: He hasn't even bothered to read the thread. :doh:

[mergirl]

Know what is MOST mind-blowing about this? I all the time see the men complaining of women being too whatever this and that....so when we ask for a private place to TALK ABOUT OURSELVES (not others), it's a big deal yet not worth talking about.

See, this is different. A women only space for women just to chat i can understand. Though, if we wern't talking about fat related issues we would be as well trotting off to our local coffee morning to discuss macrame and fund raising for the village hall!
:p

[Green Eyed Fairy]

See, this is different. A women only space for women just to chat i can understand. Though, if we wern't talking about fat related issues we would be as well trotting off to our local coffee morning to discuss macrame and fund raising for the village hall!
:p


Personally, I have the idea that only certain related topics would be allowed. Otherwise, kick it out to the main board. Not a coffee house type of convo place...

[Miss Vickie]

So you ban them if they don't follow the rules. Duh.

Are you volunteering to take on the job of moderating the thousands of posts that this would likely create? And what about the women who are hurt by the presence of the trollish behavior, before those posts are deleted? Obviously you can't relate to the hurt that the women here are expressing. That's okay. But at least stay out of the way while they try to create a space that will work for them. How does it hurt you, personally, if there is a private board where women discuss private health issues? Are you afraid you'll miss out on something?

Plus, I didn't have to address wank fodder seperately, because that is also eliminated by the "no public discussions" rule. So yeah, there is a way around it, which I've already explained.

Obviously we have a different definition of what "wank fodder" is.

Quite simply, you don't want a solution to your problem. You just want an excuse for this hypothetical board to be private without coming out and saying you're uncomfortable, so you wanted this problem to have no solution.

You don't know what it is I want and I think it's silly of you to pretend that you do, particularly since you've misread much of what I, and others, have written. I've been posting on the internet since I suspect you were in your footie pajamas, and so I know what happens when women post their very private, very personal, very embarrassing difficulties online for all the world to see. It often ends up stolen and placed on fat hating sites, to the ultimate humiliation of the women in question. Is this what you want for the women here? I'm beginning to think that maybe it is.

But just say you don't feel comfortable that someone you don't know could read what you're saying, so you want total privacy. That's a respectable position. Don't make up a problem and then complain when someone presents a simple solution because you didn't want a solution at all. That's cowardly.

You have a lotta damn gall calling me a coward, and I suspect you wouldn't have the balls to make such an accusation to my face, so who's the coward? Yours is neither "simple", nor a "solution" to the discomfort that has been expressed here, as Kayrae has outlined, over and over again. The only solution is to provide for the non SSBBW here what the SSBBW women here have -- a private space to discuss private matters. It's really quite simple, and I still don't understand why anyone would take exception to it, unless they have a prurient interest in the goings on in such a forum.

I want something that works for the women here who are in pain, not the FA's who may potentially get off on their difficulties, or the trolls who will laugh at them. Not being fat myself anymore, it doesn't really benefit me to have such a site; I've already been pretty much muzzled from talking about my WLS because it's perceived by a vocal few as being "cheerleading" and so I have found other places to discuss my issues. However, as it relates this idea, I have been fat, and a woman, (have you?) and so I understand the need to have a private space to discuss private issues that are embarrassing when discussed publicly.

Is that really so truly awful and wrong?

[mergirl]

Personally, I have the idea that only certain related topics would be allowed. Otherwise, kick it out to the main board. Not a coffee house type of convo place...
hmm what kinna topics could be discussed?
You mean for a womans board or bbw board btw cause i'm getting mixed up at what is being asked for now!?

[Miss Vickie]

hmm what kinna topics could be discussed?
You mean for a womans board or bbw board btw cause i'm getting mixed up at what is being asked for now!?

As I understand it, it's a private space to discuss the personal, potentially embarrassing issues that fat women face. Stuff we wouldn't feel comfortable discussing publicly. You know, "girlie stuff". ;)

[mergirl]

As I understand it, it's a private space to discuss the personal, potentially embarrassing issues that fat women face. Stuff we wouldn't feel comfortable discussing publicly. You know, "girlie stuff". ;)
Ahh ok. i see.
I know there is a private ssbbw forum -i'm not sure of exactly the weight/size you have to be to join..so.
If there was a private bbw forum-what weight/size would it start from. Also, would ssbbw women be allowed to join seeing as their problems are deemed as different?
I'm not being awkward..(well not trying to be) i'm trying to understand whats being asked and what would be involved and trying to think about problems that might arise as well as benifits.
x

[Miss Vickie]

Ahh ok. i see.
I know there is a private ssbbw forum -i'm not sure of exactly the weight/size you have to be to join..so.
If there was a private bbw forum-what weight/size would it start from. Also, would ssbbw women be allowed to join seeing as their problems are deemed as different?
I'm not being awkward..(well not trying to be) i'm trying to understand whats being asked and what would be involved and trying to think about problems that might arise as well as benifits.
x

As I understand it, non-SSBBW cannot join that board. It's only for SSBBW's, and I have no idea really how it came about or if there's a lower weight limit or whatever. Good question about the private BBW forum and who would be able to join. I'm not sure.

I don't think you're being awkward. I think you're asking good questions, things we should think about. Hell, since I'm a size 14, they may not even let me in. ;)

[BothGunsBlazing]

Okay, using my imagination. Let me see what sort of topic a BBW might feel uncomfortable discussing in front of a group of men who are into fat women.

"I want to lose weight or I've been thinking about it, but I am torn"

now, not every man here is a dumbass who would lash out at such a woman for this desire or thought, but yeah, some are that stupid and this would fit into the mental category and I can see why some would want to avoid posting it for public view. Since just because you find Dimensions does not mean you are magically cured of every issue you've ever had with your body and sometimes hearing "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE" isn't enough.

As I previously said, ANYTHING that can help the women here out either mentally or physically when it comes to health, I am all for. Any other issue I had would just be selfish and not really thinking of the best interests of the women here whom we're supposed to be admiring.

[Miss Vickie]

Okay, using my imagination. Let me see what sort of topic a BBW might feel uncomfortable discussing in front of a group of men who are into fat women.

"I want to lose weight or I've been thinking about it, but I am torn"

now, not every man here is a dumbass who would lash out at such a woman for this desire or thought, but yeah, some are that stupid and this would fit into the mental category and I can see why some would want to avoid posting it for public view. Since just because you find Dimensions does not mean you are magically cured of every issue you've ever had with your body and sometimes hearing "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE" isn't enough.

As I previously said, ANYTHING that can help the women here out either mentally or physically when it comes to health, I am all for. Any other issue I had would just be selfish and not really thinking of the best interests of the women here whom we're supposed to be admiring.

Thank you for understanding. And while your example is a good one, there are far far far more intimate and personal issues that the women would want to discuss privately. But I appreciate you trying to see what it is that some of the women here want. A little bit of empathy goes a looong way. Thanks, BGB. :) :wubu: You're golden in my book, FWIW.

[BothGunsBlazing]

Thank you for understanding. And while your example is a good one, there are far far far more intimate and personal issues that the women would want to discuss privately. But I appreciate you trying to see what it is that some of the women here want. A little bit of empathy goes a looong way. Thanks, BGB. :) :wubu: You're golden in my book, FWIW.

Oh definitely, I just figured THOSE would be best left to .. a more private location. :p

and thank you for the compliment, I don't want it to seem like I am kissing up either, but I really really don't understand the objection to this.

[mossystate]

I'm thinking that if a guy says that fat is only good for women and not men...that kind of says it all...to me, as to why he wants to be an observer.

[BeaBea]

Hi,

As a sidebar - Kayrae, can I just mention how impressed I am with your patience and persistence in trying to move this issue forward and to keep this thread on track? I know the thread has wandered a bit from time to time like they all do but your politeness in the face of some stupid/repetitive/fatuous arguments is something I sincerely wish I could emulate :bow:

Tracey xx

[mergirl]

Okay, using my imagination. Let me see what sort of topic a BBW might feel uncomfortable discussing in front of a group of men who are into fat women.

"I want to lose weight or I've been thinking about it, but I am torn"

now, not every man here is a dumbass who would lash out at such a woman for this desire or thought, but yeah, some are that stupid and this would fit into the mental category and I can see why some would want to avoid posting it for public view. Since just because you find Dimensions does not mean you are magically cured of every issue you've ever had with your body and sometimes hearing "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE" isn't enough.

As I previously said, ANYTHING that can help the women here out either mentally or physically when it comes to health, I am all for. Any other issue I had would just be selfish and not really thinking of the best interests of the women here whom we're supposed to be admiring.
i was thinking more of questions like. Do you think its fair that your girlfriend shouted at you cause you left your periody knickers in a measuring jug to soak?..:rolleyes: Actually maby thats more a question for the lgbt board. :p Or the fat sexuality board, if periody pants are yer kinna thing.:D

[mergirl]

As I understand it, non-SSBBW cannot join that board. It's only for SSBBW's, and I have no idea really how it came about or if there's a lower weight limit or whatever. Good question about the private BBW forum and who would be able to join. I'm not sure.

I don't think you're being awkward. I think you're asking good questions, things we should think about. Hell, since I'm a size 14, they may not even let me in. ;)
oh i hope they do let you in! I'm about a 16/18. Though thats UK sizes, so we might actually be about the same.. I say the bbw board should start at a size 14!! :) but then i would like people like cors to come too.. so maby a size 8. lol

[chicken legs]

wow i didn't know there was a private board:eek:

[Cors]

oh i hope they do let you in! I'm about a 16/18. Though thats UK sizes, so we might actually be about the same.. I say the bbw board should start at a size 14!! :) but then i would like people like cors to come too.. so maby a size 8. lol

Aww. I would love to have a place to discuss girly issues, but only if the BBWs are comfortable because it is supposed to be their safe space.

[vardon_grip]

I don't see why you think a private forum for women to discuss private health issues should be fee-based when the current paysite board doesn't have that restriction. That's some bullshit sexist double-standard, vardon_grip. If your concern is generating money, that's some big-time money-making idea right there. Think about that one for awhile. Then come back and tell me another awesome idea.

A fee based forum already exists with the clubhouse so there is nothing sexist about my suggestion and no double standard. There are added perks to being a clubhouse member that the regular joes don't get and I suggested the same for new private boards. The paysite board isn't a private board as you are suggesting. So again, no double standard. I didn't come up with the idea of donating to Dimensions to help defray the costs of running the site, I think the webmaster or others are the ones to thank for that. There is no need to vent your anger at me. I didn't post as an attack against you. I think there is nothing wrong with the suggestion of helping out if you want something in return.

[NoWayOut]

NoWayOut, perhaps you haven't read the posts here at all because "uncomfortable" has been cited plenty of times. This argument will continue to become circuitous if those of you who don't support this board continue to ignore the repeated reasoning why the idea for this board was brought up in the first place: Women want a "private" place to discuss uncomfortable mental and physical health issues. This board will not be a place to talk about anything unrelated to health issues. It is a forum for women who are too uncomfortable to post in the current open health board.

Pot, meet kettle on the reading thing. I wasn't talking to you at all about what you said. I know you've made your position clear, and I said that I respected it. I don't need any links or anything. That was intended for one poster only.

[Miss Vickie]

Pot, meet kettle on the reading thing. I wasn't talking to you at all about what you said. I know you've made your position clear, and I said that I respected it. I don't need any links or anything. That was intended for one poster only.

Is that me you're talking about? Don't be so cowardly. Be brave. I promise, it won't hurt. Much.

[Miss Vickie]

For NoWayOut,

These are my posts on this topic. I can see why you'd be confused about my intent. I mean, I'm just so damn coy when it comes to expressing what it is I want. :rolleyes:

For your edification:

*chuckle* You too? As much as I share, there's way more that I don't because I don't want it open for public consumption. Which is why I think the idea of a women's only private board (and I don't even care whether it's populated with big, small, medium women as long as it's just women) is a good idea. There is a lot that, for good reason, we don't want to share publicly.



Aw, thank you. :blush: I'd love to join, if such a group would have me. Thank you for thinking of me.



Yes. And I've been so hurt and turned off by what happened with the WLS board that I haven't posted anything about my health, because I feel like it's going to be picked apart. I would definitely appreciate a private space to share, and to help others if my knowledge and experience can be used in that way. (BTW, that boil problem? Did you try using a mirror to look at it?)



I agree. It hurts no one to have a private board to discuss private things. No one is asking to create a zillion different board, but having a board to discuss private, potentially embarrassing issues seems really reasonable to me.



So true. And a board like that would really meet that need.



I think that a private health board for women, open to all women, would be great. That way we can use the public health board for less... intimate... issues. :)

Yup. That's my concern as well, the lurkers.



Sounds to me like the answers is a resounding "yes!"

I'd like to add something in response to a question posed earlier. Forgive me if I'm not clear but I got back from a vacation/school trip late last night so I'm more than a little fried. But anyway, in terms of what would happen to the Health Board, this is a reasonable question. As someone who posts pretty regularly to it, and who begged for it to be created for years, obviously I don't want it to go the way of the dodo. But I think that there are enough non-intimate questions to be discussed there that it shouldn't be gutted by the creation of a private space. Most of us don't mind talking about our blood pressure, diabetes, etc etc etc in public. It's the more private issues, the potentially embarrassing ones, that we want to discuss in private.

That's what I think, anyway.

As I understand it, it's a private space to discuss the personal, potentially embarrassing issues that fat women face. Stuff we wouldn't feel comfortable discussing publicly. You know, "girlie stuff". ;)

As I understand it, non-SSBBW cannot join that board. It's only for SSBBW's, and I have no idea really how it came about or if there's a lower weight limit or whatever. Good question about the private BBW forum and who would be able to join. I'm not sure.

I don't think you're being awkward. I think you're asking good questions, things we should think about. Hell, since I'm a size 14, they may not even let me in. ;)

Thank you for understanding. And while your example is a good one, there are far far far more intimate and personal issues that the women would want to discuss privately. But I appreciate you trying to see what it is that some of the women here want. A little bit of empathy goes a looong way. Thanks, BGB. :) :wubu: You're golden in my book, FWIW.

[NoWayOut]

Are you volunteering to take on the job of moderating the thousands of posts that this would likely create? And what about the women who are hurt by the presence of the trollish behavior, before those posts are deleted? Obviously you can't relate to the hurt that the women here are expressing. That's okay. But at least stay out of the way while they try to create a space that will work for them. How does it hurt you, personally, if there is a private board where women discuss private health issues? Are you afraid you'll miss out on something?

Thousands of posts is an exaggeration, and you know it. Anyway, if I spent enough time on this board that I could be a moderator, sure, I could give it a shot. It doesn't hurt me if the board's private, but like you said, right now, I can't relate to your problems. But I'd like to be able to come closer to it.

Obviously we have a different definition of what "wank fodder" is.

Obviously

You don't know what it is I want and I think it's silly of you to pretend that you do, particularly since you've misread much of what I, and others, have written. I've been posting on the internet since I suspect you were in your footie pajamas, and so I know what happens when women post their very private, very personal, very embarrassing difficulties online for all the world to see. It often ends up stolen and placed on fat hating sites, to the ultimate humiliation of the women in question. Is this what you want for the women here? I'm beginning to think that maybe it is.

And it's not silly for you? If I'm making an assumption, so are you. If that's what I wanted, I wouldn't be on this board. I would have much better things to do with my life than fake who I am. You are correct in that I did not know that it ends up on another site, and I do have a better understanding of your position. That could be remedied somewhat by restricting viewing privileges to those with a certain number of posts, but that isn't foolproof. For that, I understand your position.

On the other side of the coin, that's pretty impressive that you've apparently been posting on the Internet since before the Internet even existed. Cheap shot on my part, but that age thing was a ridiculous accusation.

You have a lotta damn gall calling me a coward, and I suspect you wouldn't have the balls to make such an accusation to my face, so who's the coward? Yours is neither "simple", nor a "solution" to the discomfort that has been expressed here, as Kayrae has outlined, over and over again. The only solution is to provide for the non SSBBW here what the SSBBW women here have -- a private space to discuss private matters. It's really quite simple, and I still don't understand why anyone would take exception to it, unless they have a prurient interest in the goings on in such a forum.

I want something that works for the women here who are in pain, not the FA's who may potentially get off on their difficulties, or the trolls who will laugh at them. Not being fat myself anymore, it doesn't really benefit me to have such a site; I've already been pretty much muzzled from talking about my WLS because it's perceived by a vocal few as being "cheerleading" and so I have found other places to discuss my issues. However, as it relates this idea, I have been fat, and a woman, (have you?) and so I understand the need to have a private space to discuss private issues that are embarrassing when discussed publicly.

Is that really so truly awful and wrong?

I was not attempting to get off on difficulties, I was trying to get a better understanding of them. With the information in the posts, yes, it appeared that you were being a coward, and yes, I would have said it to your face if that was what I thought. Since you've explained your position, I recognize I was wrong there. But before something's explained, I can only go on the information provided.

Is that me you're talking about? Don't be so cowardly. Be brave. I promise, it won't hurt. Much.

It takes time to type out a longer response. I didn't feel like multitasking.

[Sandie S-R]

I was not attempting to get off on difficulties, I was trying to get a better understanding of them. With the information in the posts, yes, it appeared that you were being a coward, and yes, I would have said it to your face if that was what I thought. Since you've explained your position, I recognize I was wrong there. But before something's explained, I can only go on the information provided.

Ok, I think we understand that you want a better understanding of our difficulties.

But what you don't seem to understand is that you have no right to know about our personal intimate difficulties. It's really none of your business.

[Miss Vickie]

I was not attempting to get off on difficulties, I was trying to get a better understanding of them. With the information in the posts, yes, it appeared that you were being a coward, and yes, I would have said it to your face if that was what I thought. Since you've explained your position, I recognize I was wrong there. But before something's explained, I can only go on the information provided.

I haven't explained anything new, though, other than to cut and paste the same posts that were there to begin with. My position has been clear from the get-go. But you were too lazy/busy/whatever to read what I'd actually written, but rather decided that you knew what I meant before taking the time to understand it. It was much easier to call me a coward (and if you'd called me one to my face, you'd have been a brave soul) than to ask what it was I wanted.

I'm a lot of things, but coy I am not. I have no incentive to be anything but crystal clear in my intent because it's an issue that is important to me. What possible reason would I have to play the kind of games you accuse me of? Believe it or not I don't have a lot of time to play around on the internet, and games are the last thing I engage in.

So next time, perhaps you should try reading what is written before going off half-cocked. You'll save yourself (and others) a lot of time.

And no, thousands of posts is not an exaggeration. I've talked to the moderators here and I know the sheer volumes of posts that they have to moderate, the numbers of people who create accounts only to post hateful, heinous bullshit to the men and women here. I've been a member at Dimensions since the old site, and I've seen it, I've seen people hurt by it, and I've noticed how we're so much more careful about not sharing personal stuff because of those negative experiences. I'd hope that had you seen the same things, you'd be a little more sensitive and empathetic about the need for private space.

Yeah I get that you'd learn from reading our experiences. But you know what? That's not why we share that stuff, in order to educate FA's. We share that stuff to support each other and find solutions to some of the less thrilling aspects of being a fat woman.

[Tania]

A fee based forum already exists with the clubhouse so there is nothing sexist about my suggestion and no double standard. There are added perks to being a clubhouse member that the regular joes don't get and I suggested the same for new private boards. The paysite board isn't a private board as you are suggesting. So again, no double standard. I didn't come up with the idea of donating to Dimensions to help defray the costs of running the site, I think the webmaster or others are the ones to thank for that. There is no need to vent your anger at me. I didn't post as an attack against you. I think there is nothing wrong with the suggestion of helping out if you want something in return.

As a fat woman, I find the assumptions that undergird this point of view extremely disturbing.

Why should a tool intended to help promote female fat self-acceptance on its most basic, core level be automatically dismissed out of hand as some sort of frivolous toy or inconsequential "perk" for a marginal special interest? Why should such a relevant idea be trivialized as a pay-based frill on a site that purports to be seriously dedicated to size acceptance and the physical and mental well-being of fat women in particular?

Kresta's point is valid. It seems kinda back-asswards that fat women should pay a "gimme penalty" to have legitimate, constructive discussions that contribute to the overall stature of the community, while the boys' mindless fap fodder is absolutely free and easy to find. Elsewhere on the internet, it's the erotica that would be ghettoized and vice-taxed to protect and fund the larger community - for logical financial reasons, among others. If members "wanting something in return" from the community is really a burden on Dimensions, then perhaps the overwhelming numbers of nonposting, non-contributing, anonymous visitors to the paysite and weight board nakey picture threads oughta be tapped for mandatory contributions, too. Goose, gander, sauce, and all that.

Otherwise, what's the message? *Are* fat women a marginal special interest at Dims? How much do they have to "give" in order to earn the right to SIMPLY ASK for a space to fully explore, understand, and accept their fatness here? Haven't they already given enough by showing up and participating? By legitimizing the existence of the community by BEING here?

[chicken legs]

good point Tania:bow:

[FaxMachine1234]

As a fat woman, I find the assumptions that undergird this point of view extremely disturbing.

Why should a tool intended to help promote female fat self-acceptance on its most basic, core level be automatically dismissed out of hand as some sort of frivolous toy or inconsequential "perk" for a marginal special interest? Why should such a relevant idea be trivialized as a pay-based frill on a site that purports to be seriously dedicated to size acceptance and the physical and mental well-being of fat women in particular?

Kresta's point is valid. It seems kinda back-asswards that fat women should pay a "gimme penalty" to have legitimate, constructive discussions that contribute to the overall stature of the community, while the boys' mindless fap fodder is absolutely free and easy to find. Elsewhere on the internet, it's the erotica that would be ghettoized and vice-taxed to protect and fund the larger community - for logical financial reasons, among others. If members "wanting something in return" from the community is really a burden on Dimensions, then perhaps the overwhelming numbers of nonposting, non-contributing, anonymous visitors to the paysite and weight board nakey picture threads oughta be tapped for mandatory contributions, too. Goose, gander, sauce, and all that.

Otherwise, what's the message? *Are* fat women a marginal special interest at Dims? How much do they have to "give" in order to earn the right to SIMPLY ASK for a space to fully explore, understand, and accept their fatness here? Haven't they already given enough by showing up and participating? By legitimizing the existence of the community by BEING here?

Though I'm not backing vardon_grip's idea, I'm a little uneasy with your assertion that this board wouldn't be legitimate without fat women here; it'd definitely gut the core experience if there were only FAs here, certainly, but there'd still be plenty to talk about...like, say, the many BBWs that exist in the world yet do not post here. I believe that represents significant amount of people.

And I do think the Clubhouse opened up a whole can of worms. If we're in need of money, why don't we charge money for the both the new FA and BBW boards (if they're approved, that is)? It'd weed out the lurkers, yes, but the trolls wouldn't get in. If Dimensions is gonna be asking for money, then they might as well go all out.

[vardon_grip]

As a fat woman, I find the assumptions that undergird this point of view extremely disturbing.

Why should a tool intended to help promote female fat self-acceptance on its most basic, core level be automatically dismissed out of hand as some sort of frivolous toy or inconsequential "perk" for a marginal special interest? Why should such a relevant idea be trivialized as a pay-based frill on a site that purports to be seriously dedicated to size acceptance and the physical and mental well-being of fat women in particular?

Kresta's point is valid. It seems kinda back-asswards that fat women should pay a "gimme penalty" to have legitimate, constructive discussions that contribute to the overall stature of the community, while the boys' mindless fap fodder is absolutely free and easy to find. Elsewhere on the internet, it's the erotica that would be ghettoized and vice-taxed to protect and fund the larger community - for logical financial reasons, among others. If members "wanting something in return" from the community is really a burden on Dimensions, then perhaps the overwhelming numbers of nonposting, non-contributing, anonymous visitors to the paysite and weight board nakey picture threads oughta be tapped for mandatory contributions, too. Goose, gander, sauce, and all that.

Otherwise, what's the message? *Are* fat women a marginal special interest at Dims? How much do they have to "give" in order to earn the right to SIMPLY ASK for a space to fully explore, understand, and accept their fatness here? Haven't they already given enough by showing up and participating? By legitimizing the existence of the community by BEING here?

If I asked for someone to do me a favor that cost them lots of effort in time or money, I would thank them and try to reimburse them in kind.
If someone offered me tickets to a show that they couldn't use, I would offer them money for it.
If some people at work bought some pizza and offered me some and I ate a good amount, I would ask if I could help with the cost.
If someone goes above and beyond for me, I try to return the favor. I would feel that it was selfish of me to not offer something in return. I also know that if something is really important to me, something that I was lobbying really hard for, I wouldn't be so against paying for it. (Like maybe, $2.50/month. Less than a large cup of Starbuck's coffee)

If the idea doesn't fly, I won't be disappointed. (Or elated if it does.)

I just suggested to make new private boards (for whatever reason or group you want) to be fee based. I don't make a gender distinction. There is no hidden agenda or evil in that suggestion. It isn't a "penalty" to charge/pay for something extra. You could look at it as a reward. This isn't about any needs being denied. There is nothing being dismissed as frivolous by me.
If you don't like the idea...fine! Say "I don't like the idea" and leave it at that. Don't make my suggestion into something it isn't.

There are no "disturbing assumptions" attached to my idea. I make no assumptions on the need or validity of having any type of private board. Any assumption is of your own making. I don't oppose the creation of new boards or private areas. That is completely at the discretion of the owner of this site. If you want to suggest that the paysite board be private and/or fee based, you are welcome to do so, (I think that it is not a bad idea) but don't use that as an argument to something I DIDN'T say. I never made any type of argument for/against your goose or gander.

As I've said twice before, the precedent of a fee based private forum has already been set with the existence of the clubhouse. Members receive perks that are set by the owner for their donations. I don't make a judgement on the members in it nor the relevance of the clubhouse.

I don't know what is or isn't a "burden" for Dimensions and the owner. I won't make that judgement for someone I don't know and about what it takes to run this site. I do know that it isn't a sin to suggest donations for the site to keep it running. For with out Dimensions, the discussion of private and public boards to post on won't exist.

[mossystate]

Every person who gets something from Dimensions...and wants to donate/chip in for the pizza...can.

See the Donate ^^^^^.

And, the Clubhouse does not have anything to do with the core of what Dimensions says it's about. Not the same thing...at all.

[FreeThinker]

Since these things keep coming up:


Privacy: Essential. Such a board is pointless without privacy.


Fees: Absolutely not. The Clubhouse is optional. Having physical or mental health issues is not.




How is it that these basic concepts are not grasped?

Are there actually some males out here that refuse to accept ideas just because they are put forward by a woman?

Fine.

Here's a man saying the same damn thing.



Understand?

[kayrae]

Ok, Angel, I'm attempting to answer this one. Once again, please be patient with me. You've asked some really good questions and it's a lot to think about all at once.

Would the desired forum fall in line with what the purpose of Dimensions is? Can the existing forums not be utilized to meet your desires or needs? If not, why?

I am citing the FAQ (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/faq.php), which states that DIMS "was created to be a newsletter and then magazine for those who love fat women, as well as a size-positive community and forum for fat people and their admirers." With that said, DIMS already have an existing health board AND a private SSBBW board. I do think that asking for a private women's forum or a private BBW forum falls in line with the purpose of Dimensions. The existing health board cannot meet all the needs of the women here and that's been continuously explained throughout this thread, which is the lack of privacy.

Conrad was willing to create a private SSBBW board. I don't see why he wouldn't also see why a private women's board is also needed, especially if the proposal I do end up creating is reasonable. And I do realize that there aren't enough mods.

If Conrad asked me to be a mod, I would gladly volunteer my time. I have already volunteered to moderate the fashion board as well as the marketplace board. He hasn't accepted and I'm not going to push for it if there are already enough mods for those boards.

[William]

Hi Mer

I think the private boards should be based on gender (female) not size and if size and gender is the bases for having a private board around here then no one else aside from Fat Women should have a private Board.

It would also negate and dismiss the experiences of all other groups people in Fat Acceptance, but that is not unusual.

I would say that the community in Fat Acceptance that most needs a private board would be the WLS Community.

William







oh i hope they do let you in! I'm about a 16/18. Though thats UK sizes, so we might actually be about the same.. I say the bbw board should start at a size 14!! :) but then i would like people like cors to come too.. so maby a size 8. lol

[mergirl]

Hi Mer

I think the private boards should be based on gender (female) not size and if size and gender is the bases for having a private board around here then no one else aside from Fat Women should have a private Board.

It would also negate and dismiss the experiences of all other groups people in Fat Acceptance, but that is not unusual.

I would say that the community in Fat Acceptance that most needs a private board would be the WLS Community.

William
I actually agree with you about the private wls forum. I find it weird that the women who have had wls and those who are considering it cant talk about it openly. It might not be a part of everybodys 'fat experience' but it is certainly part of some peoples experience. Whether or not people agree with the procedure it is happening without their permission and i think that the people who have felt that it was their only option should have a place to discuss this. I know people have said, why not just go somewhere else to talk about it..Well a lot of people have friends here and feel supported and would like to discuss their experiences with those that they know, instead of being shunned and told to look for somewhere else to talk. I dont get the whole 'cheerleading' argument either. I really dont think people are so impressionable that someone talking about successful wls would make anyone be more eager to have it done, for a number of reasons. Also, there are a lot of anti wls posts here.. you would think that would balance up the 'cheerleading'.
To be honest, i'm all for any forum that would genuinly help people and would offer them support they dont feel they have now and i can see aspects of that in the Fa/BBW/Women's board proposals.. but now you mention it ..a wls private forum too. Has this actually been proposed though?.

[mergirl]

I think i overused the word 'people' there.. i was trying to be gender unspecific and it ruined my flow! :(

[SamanthaNY]

There's no point in making the WLS board private. In fact, it goes against the idea behind it.

Conrad does not want supportive WLS talk, period. Plus, he *does* want a place where people can be negative about it. So that board must stay open, and restricted in what appears there.

I can't believe people have come up with yet ANOTHER new board idea. What's this... five that are being talked about now? At some point it gets to be ridiculous.

ETA: I'm not saying these boards all aren't appropriate, or that people don't want them, or deserve them, or any of that. I'm just bemoaning the fact that it's been nonstop talk for what seems like weeks now - and every day, another new board is suggested.

[mergirl]

There's no point in making the WLS board private. In fact, it goes against the idea behind it.

Conrad does not want supportive WLS talk, period. Plus, he *does* want a place where people can be negative about it. So that board must stay open, and restricted in what appears there.

I can't believe people have come up with yet ANOTHER new board idea. What's this... five that are being talked about now? At some point it gets to be ridiculous.
Well maby not private..but open and a place where posts dont get deleted because they are deemed as 'cheerleading'. If you havn't had wls or havn't considered it it would be difficult to see the point of having such a discussion board, though women who have, have had to go elsewhere to discuss their feelings.. i think thats a shame.

[SamanthaNY]

Well maby not private..but open and a place where posts dont get deleted because they are deemed as 'cheerleading'. If you havn't had wls or havn't considered it it would be difficult to see the point of having such a discussion board, though women who have, have had to go elsewhere to discuss their feelings.. i think thats a shame.
We tried to get the WLS board to be more even-keeled, the request was denied. That's it. It's done. That board isn't changing. The discussion (and I use the term lightly) was very heated and very uncomfortable, and I really can't understand the point of trying to dredge that discussion up again. Does anyone actually think Conrad wasn't serious when he told us to go elsewhere?

I think people are getting somewhat addicted to the idea that they can turn Dim into anything they want. It's nice to give input into improving the site and offering more to the members, but... when there's half a dozen discussions about changing this, and moving that.... are people aware that the site isn't *ours* to design? Instead of trying to build additions onto a house that is pretty comfortable, can't we just enjoy it for what it is, instead of always drawing up plans for hypothetical new construction? Especially when we don't own the house to begin with.

Again, these sentiments aren't directed toward any one particular person or persons asking for a new board. You're all very thoughtful and passionate... it's just that there's so many at once.

[mergirl]

We tried to get the WLS board to be more even-keeled, the request was denied. That's it. It's done. That board isn't changing. The discussion (and I use the term lightly) was very heated and very uncomfortable, and I really can't understand the point of trying to dredge that discussion up again. Does anyone actually think Conrad wasn't serious when he told us to go elsewhere?

I think people are getting somewhat addicted to the idea that they can turn Dim into anything they want. It's nice to give input into improving the site and offering more to the members, but... when there's half a dozen discussions about changing this, and moving that.... are people aware that the site isn't *ours* to design? Instead of trying to build additions onto a house that is pretty comfortable, can't we just enjoy it for what it is, instead of always drawing up plans for hypothetical new construction? Especially when we don't own the house to begin with.

Again, these sentiments aren't directed toward any one particular person or persons asking for a new board. You're all very thoughtful and passionate... it's just that there's so many at once.
I didnt know this was tried and denied. I didnt even know there was a discussion about it. Fair enough.
I dont think anyone is under the illusion they can change dims, they are just asking for what they would like to see added and their reasons for that. Whether their ideas come to fruition or not is obviously not up to them but 'if you dont ask, you dont get'.
As for my oppinions on the wls board, they were in reply to William. To be honest it wasnt something i had thought about before then but when i did actually think about it, i thought that he had a point. If it has been discussed before then i missed that particular thread.

[SamanthaNY]

I didnt know this was tried and denied. I didnt even know there was a discussion about it. Fair enough. If it has been discussed before then i missed that particular thread.

Perhaps you've forgotten, but you have six posts (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/search.php?searchid=2754982) in that thread. A lot goes on here, so 2 months ago can seem like 2 years ago.

In any case - it's done. Personally, I hope it stays that way.

[mergirl]

Perhaps you've forgotten, but you have six posts (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/search.php?searchid=2754982) in that thread. A lot goes on here, so 2 months ago can seem like 2 years ago.

In any case - it's done. Personally, I hope it stays that way.
I do? I totally cant remember a private wls site ever being discussed!? seriously! The link there just says 'no matches found'..
Maby i need to go have a brain scan because i have NO memory whatsoever of this!! Are you sure I posted 6 posts???

[SamanthaNY]

I do? I totally cant remember a private wls site ever being discussed!? seriously! The link there just says 'no matches found'..
Maby i need to go have a brain scan because i have NO memory whatsoever of this!! Are you sure I posted 6 posts???
That's odd, the link works for me. And no - it wasn't about the WLS board being private, it was that whole mess about the "new rules (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=52208)".

Anyway - we should give kayrae her thread back, lol.

[mergirl]

right..i know what you mean now. The thred about the rules for the existing wls board. I saw one of my posts there anyway. WoW i can use the search thinggi! i had never tried that before! hmm cool!

[mergirl]

oops, lol we posted at the same time!
yes indeed. kayrae.. back to your thred.. sorry. :)

[JoyJoy]

I was not attempting to get off on difficulties, I was trying to get a better understanding of them.

I think it's a bit ironic that a man who chooses to share nothing about himself in his profile, and from what I have seen, very limited info about himself in his posts, is pushing an agenda of wanting to view information that others have said they'd like to share privately.

You have the option of putting whatever you want others to know in your public profile and posts, and then sharing more privately with whomever you choose. You have that control and the comfort level that comes with it. You obviously are not comfortable sharing much about yourself openly - and there is nothing wrong with being guarded. I'm surprised, though, since you do seem to be an extremely private person, that you'd miss the connection here.

While obviously not exactly the same in concept, it is very similar to what is what is being asked for in this thread - a place to have the control and comfort of sharing sensitive personal information in an area that is less glaring than the public eye, with other women who have the same issues and experiences, and without having the feeling of being on public display (and yes, having people who had the ability to view without commenting would be "on display", kind of like being in a cage at the zoo. How appealing!).

I do understand how a man who genuinely loves fat women and wants to learn how to be a good partner to one would want to learn as much as possible how to do that. Part of that, though, is realizing that there are some things that women just don't want to discuss with a man unless they're in an intimate relationship, and sometimes not even then. That would be kind of like following your significant other into the bathroom just to watch and "learn", even if she didn't want you there. Or, to flip it around...what if some woman decided she wanted to know you better, just to learn how to better relate to her boyfriend, and asked for access to your private conversations? A little absurd, perhaps? Anything that women here are willing to share publicly is already available to you for your learning purposes...and there is quite a bit of "learning material" here already. Why expect or ask to be privy to more if the women have said they want it to be private?

[mossystate]

I think it's a bit ironic that a man who chooses to share nothing about himself in his profile, and from what I have seen, very limited info about himself in his posts, is pushing an agenda of wanting to view information that others have said they'd like to share privately.


Yes. This drives me batty. I pretty much gloss over any yapping from people who share very little about themselves, beyond, " gee, I like this ", and then go on to berate or demand. I don't need or want every person's life story, but don't come out here all puffed up, if you don't share anything close to what you want to see...or lecture.

[Uriel]

I voted the all of the above. I'm neither a BBW, nor even really a FFA. I suppose my Acronym of appropriateness would be BHM, though I'm more of a chubby guy... Aside, sorry.

I think a Forum just for the girls is a great idea, everyone needs somewhere to feel like they can vent things safely, without wither criticism from those who haven't been in their shoes, or those who just want a peek due to their Fetish/ desire to be involved with the BBWs.

Once again, my Vote is for a Girls Only Forum, or Thread, or whatever.


-Uriel

[Green Eyed Fairy]

hmm what kinna topics could be discussed?
You mean for a womans board or bbw board btw cause i'm getting mixed up at what is being asked for now!?

i was thinking more of questions like. Do you think its fair that your girlfriend shouted at you cause you left your periody knickers in a measuring jug to soak?.. Actually maby thats more a question for the lgbt board. Or the fat sexuality board, if periody pants are yer kinna thing.

Mergirl....I am only saying this once........

ef u don stopp sattin un tat fens then I goin 2 sind chikin armee to et u :doh: :p


Okay, using my imagination. Let me see what sort of topic a BBW might feel uncomfortable discussing in front of a group of men who are into fat women.

"I want to lose weight or I've been thinking about it, but I am torn"

now, not every man here is a dumbass who would lash out at such a woman for this desire or thought, but yeah, some are that stupid and this would fit into the mental category and I can see why some would want to avoid posting it for public view. Since just because you find Dimensions does not mean you are magically cured of every issue you've ever had with your body and sometimes hearing "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE" isn't enough.

As I previously said, ANYTHING that can help the women here out either mentally or physically when it comes to health, I am all for. Any other issue I had would just be selfish and not really thinking of the best interests of the women here whom we're supposed to be admiring.

:wubu:

You know, I thought of this very thing myself the other day. I made a joke in a thread for BBWs saying something along the lines "I want to be thin with a big ass like JLo".
I said it as a joke....but had some guy PM me to "lecture" me about it......as in I had no right to say that.....

Then I had another guy PM me about some pics I posted.....and asked if I intentionally gained weight. When I said no, he went off on some angry diatribe about how I probably wanted to lose weight, blah blah blah when I hadn't even said anything along those lines. Holy cow......

Yeah, if I want to talk about my body in a SERIOUS way....it would definitely have to be in private.

Hi,

As a sidebar - Kayrae, can I just mention how impressed I am with your patience and persistence in trying to move this issue forward and to keep this thread on track? I know the thread has wandered a bit from time to time like they all do but your politeness in the face of some stupid/repetitive/fatuous arguments is something I sincerely wish I could emulate

Tracey xx

Isn't she great? I have been impressed with her, too, here recently :bow:

I get pissed off....so all I can mostly do is quote her and agree :p


oh i hope they do let you in! I'm about a 16/18. Though thats UK sizes, so we might actually be about the same.. I say the bbw board should start at a size 14!! but then i would like people like cors to come too.. so maby a size 8. lol

I think it should be for all ladies.......just my two cents. However, some might feel differently......

Ok, I think we understand that you want a better understanding of our difficulties.

But what you don't seem to understand is that you have no right to know about our personal intimate difficulties. It's really none of your business.

Yes...and it's the second time he has been told that in this thread.

As a fat woman, I find the assumptions that undergird this point of view extremely disturbing.

Why should a tool intended to help promote female fat self-acceptance on its most basic, core level be automatically dismissed out of hand as some sort of frivolous toy or inconsequential "perk" for a marginal special interest? Why should such a relevant idea be trivialized as a pay-based frill on a site that purports to be seriously dedicated to size acceptance and the physical and mental well-being of fat women in particular?

Kresta's point is valid. It seems kinda back-asswards that fat women should pay a "gimme penalty" to have legitimate, constructive discussions that contribute to the overall stature of the community, while the boys' mindless fap fodder is absolutely free and easy to find. Elsewhere on the internet, it's the erotica that would be ghettoized and vice-taxed to protect and fund the larger community - for logical financial reasons, among others. If members "wanting something in return" from the community is really a burden on Dimensions, then perhaps the overwhelming numbers of nonposting, non-contributing, anonymous visitors to the paysite and weight board nakey picture threads oughta be tapped for mandatory contributions, too. Goose, gander, sauce, and all that.

Otherwise, what's the message? *Are* fat women a marginal special interest at Dims? How much do they have to "give" in order to earn the right to SIMPLY ASK for a space to fully explore, understand, and accept their fatness here? Haven't they already given enough by showing up and participating? By legitimizing the existence of the community by BEING here?

You rock my world :bow:

Though I'm not backing vardon_grip's idea, I'm a little uneasy with your assertion that this board wouldn't be legitimate without fat women here; it'd definitely gut the core experience if there were only FAs here, certainly, but there'd still be plenty to talk about...like, say, the many BBWs that exist in the world yet do not post here. I believe that represents significant amount of people.

And I do think the Clubhouse opened up a whole can of worms. If we're in need of money, why don't we charge money for the both the new FA and BBW boards (if they're approved, that is)? It'd weed out the lurkers, yes, but the trolls wouldn't get in. If Dimensions is gonna be asking for money, then they might as well go all out.

I don't know Ekim....are you saying that you DON'T want the ladies here? Do you REALLY think this place would be so full of FAs without us? Be honest..... ;)

Since these things keep coming up:


Privacy: Essential. Such a board is pointless without privacy.


Fees: Absolutely not. The Clubhouse is optional. Having physical or mental health issues is not.




How is it that these basic concepts are not grasped?

Are there actually some males out here that refuse to accept ideas just because they are put forward by a woman?

Fine.

Here's a man saying the same damn thing.



Understand?

You are my hero :wubu: :happy: :bow:

[mergirl]

Mergirl....I am only saying this once........

ef u don stopp sattin un tat fens then I goin 2 sind chikin armee to et u :doh: :p

:


You know, i'm only sitting on the fence here cause i have no idea where to stand.
Should Dims have a women only board? I have no idea. Which is why i'm asking lots of questions about the why's n wheres n what nots. I would like to see how a board like that would work. If it was a smaller bbw board how would that work..??
Also..
Pls dont sent chikkin army to ate me.. i will ate them and then pee on turkee and ate you back, then yu wil pu me oot and i wil cry and be homeless!!:eat2:
:D

[Hole]

I'm for letting the BBWs join in on the private part of the board for SSBBWs.
That would balance things out. There's just too much division.

[mergirl]

I'm for letting the BBWs join in on the private part of the board for SSBBWs.
That would balance things out. There's just too much division.
Some of the ssbbws are against that for various reasons. I dont know about the opinions of them all. Think if another poll is conducted though i might have to jab my eyes out with a fork! lol

[GoldenDelicious]

Some of the ssbbws are against that for various reasons. I dont know about the opinions of them all. Think if another poll is conducted though i might have to jab my eyes out with a fork! lol
Me too, in fact I'm unsubscribing from this thread, bye bye

[mergirl]

Me too, in fact I'm unsubscribing from this thread, bye bye
Good. She's away. Now we can talk about her!!:p

[NancyGirl74]

This whole thing is really friggin' annoying!

Yes, lets lock all the BBWs in one room and all the FAs in another and the FFAs who are fat and the BHM who are also FAs can run back and forth at will. Then we'll all be cozy and safe in our little CLOSETS (irony, anyone?) and neither group will be at risk of learning anything from the other. God forbid we risk getting our feeling hurt by someone who doesn't know the ins and outs of BBW/FA-dom. Lets keep all those people out there where they have to lurk at windows and peek at keyholes.

Better yet let all those people who don't "know" go to those other sites that have porn plastered all over the joint. Surely they can learn what it is to be an appreciated, admired and supported BBW there. And all the young ignorant FAs can learn what it is to be proud of their preference at a site where the first picture they see is a fat woman being fucked by a random penis with no face.

Yes, lets keep out those we don't know or trust so we never have to risk getting our feelings hurt because the whole point of Size Acceptance is to hide all our thoughts and feelings away from others who will never understand and never learn.

Here's a clue...They will never understand and never learn if we are too busy stuffing ourselves into closets to teach them.
:rolleyes:

[BothGunsBlazing]

I think we should all take it up with Xzibit and his new show.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y91/NoKissCutsAsDeep/pimp-my-ride.jpg

Yo dawg, I heard you wanna discuss BBW health issues, so I put a BBW health forum INSIDE OF YOUR FORUM!

[kayrae]

I'm starting to believe that it is useless writing anything because no one bothers to even read the actual discussion.

How is creating a private forum for women to discuss private mental and physical health issues about stuffing oneself in a closet? The goal is for women who are uncomfortable discussing their issues to have a "safe" place in which to do so. No one's locking anyone in a room. Participation in any of the threads in these new rooms aren't mandatory.

If I want to talk about my vagina, how am I hurting anyone's feelings if I choose to exclude them from this conversation? What kind of advice will a man have to give about my vagina? I don't want to talk about my vagina around men. I don't want to post in the current open health board about my vagina. I'm not the only woman who isn't willing to do so.

Of course there are other topics that can be discussed. And these topics have already been brought up. But if it's necessary, then I'll list it over and over and over and over again. What is wrong about creating a room that will be a beneficial resource to women who are uncomfortable discussing their private health concerns? How is this private room taking away from anyone's Dimensions experience?

I am creating a solution to a problem.

[mergirl]

Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina!!:p

[kayrae]

I'm for letting the BBWs join in on the private part of the board for SSBBWs.
That would balance things out. There's just too much division.

Hole, that option is not open for discussion. I specifically started this thread saying we need to respect SSBBWs wishes to have their own private place. I'll let BeaBea explain this one.


I get what you are saying but you kind of need to trust those of us who are SS sized that there ARE real differences.

To try to explain a little, and hopefully in terms which wont offend anyone, I have a friend with Testicular Cancer who uses a Forum similar to this one to get support and to trade information (and some really funny but horribly un-PC jokes! Lol, but I digress).

There are lots of general boards about the illness, treatments regimes, the surgeries etc and there are specific locked boards for various ailments - but he spends most of his time reading and posting in the Testicular Cancer Board. Not because the people reading and posting elsewhere aren't also suffering from the same disease, not because they wont have huge sympathy for his condition, not because he wants to be part of a secret club but because its only the people with that anatomy and those conditions that he feels comfortable enough to share his most private thoughts. I know there is plenty of discussion on what the illness means to him as a man and to his masculinity and I'm certain that similar is true on the private boards where female related cancers are discussed. I suspect those issues dont come up nearly so often on boards where conditions which equally affect both sexes are discussed.

I hope that helps explain a little why I feel the private, female only, SSBBW only board is such a valuable resource? Obviously I dont equate anything to do with being BBW/SSBBW/FA as in any way similar to having cancer but it was the only way I could think of to explain my thoughts. Oh, and this was posted with his permission, and his treatment is going well.

[Sandie S-R]

I'm for letting the BBWs join in on the private part of the board for SSBBWs.
That would balance things out. There's just too much division.

Hole,

That is not an option, and will not happen.

The SSBBW Board stays exactly as it is - for SSBBWs only.

The SS Issues forum is NOT about division. It is about providing a very marginalized group of women a place that they can discuss some very personal and private matters without the prying eyes of those that may not understand.

People need to stop bringing up the SSBBW forum, as it is not a part of this discussion (possible BBW/women's forum), and it's (SSBBW forum's) format was decided upon some time ago.

/Moderator

[Hole]

OKay, sorry... I did read the thread, a lot of it actually. I just see more logic in bringing two groups of big women together instead of making yet another board because they're in a different size range. It's all too technical for my liking.

That's just me. (Stubborn maybe?)

So I will vote for the last option only because I don't want BBWs to be left out. I wub you girls!

[AshleyEileen]

I think we should all take it up with Xzibit and his new show.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y91/NoKissCutsAsDeep/pimp-my-ride.jpg

Yo dawg, I heard you wanna discuss BBW health issues, so I put a BBW health forum INSIDE OF YOUR FORUM!

This is the most amazing thing ever.

[FaxMachine1234]

Hole,

That is not an option, and will not happen.

The SSBBW Board stays exactly as it is - for SSBBWs only.

The SS Issues forum is NOT about division. It is about providing a very marginalized group of women a place that they can discuss some very personal and private matters without the prying eyes of those that may not understand.

People need to stop bringing up the SSBBW forum, as it is not a part of this discussion (possible BBW/women's forum), and it's (SSBBW forum's) format was decided upon some time ago.

/Moderator

Well, if we can't change things around here, then what's the point of even having threads like these? If the format isn't satisfactory for the majority of posters i.e. the SSBBW board (and whether it is or not, I don't know), then it should change, either that or every other board that a minority of the population here requests should be added. It seems like a bit of a double-standard.

[kayrae]

Ekim, I'm going to kindly ask you to stop bringing up the SSBBW board. There is no double standard from Conrad or the DIMS mods. There has been no proposal, therefore there hasn't been a response. We (and I'm talking for the women who are supportive of having a women's only board/bbw board) are not asking to change the SSBBW board.

Please stop de-railing the original intention of this thread. I am not trying to be an asshole here, but I'd like this to stay on-topic. Thanks in advance.

[William]

Hi Kayrae

This thread and the board that you do not want mentioned is a example of the entitlement of Fat Women when Fat Acceptance is mixed with Fat Admiration and what the rest of Fat Acceptance Community has to deal with.

When you take out the auto-erotica aspect of the conversation there is not even much need to separate the genders. They did it for years on the NAAFA mailing list and a few other places.

William


Ekim, I'm going to kindly ask you to stop bringing up the SSBBW board. There is no double standard from Conrad or the DIMS mods. There has been no proposal, therefore there hasn't been a response. We (and I'm talking for the women who are supportive of having a women's only board/bbw board) are not asking to change the SSBBW board.

Please stop de-railing the original intention of this thread. I am not trying to be an asshole here, but I'd like this to stay on-topic. Thanks in advance.

[butch]

Did you really just say 'entitlement,' William, when discussing the SSBBW forum? Come on, thats not true or fair, and you sound no different than the fat haters, who characterize the whole SA movement as being for and about middle aged, middle class fat white women. If that is what you really think, then start a thread about it, instead of dredging up more of your standard 'fat men are the bastard step children of SA' lines in Kayrae's thread.

I for one get tired of advocating for the rights of everyone, male and female, fat and thin, under the umbrella of SA, when people continue to heap hate on women like me. Look at the bash workshops being proposed at the Dims bash? Do you see BHM being left out? FAs? No, so why do you persist in claiming SA is all about fat women, and no one else?

[SamanthaNY]

a example of the entitlement of Fat Women when Fat Acceptance is mixed with Fat Admiration and what the rest of Fat Acceptance Community has to deal with.

Not only is that WAY out of line on *this* thread - but you've got some nerve posting this crap. I for one, as a fat woman here, feel anything BUT entitled in this fa-centric world. How many times have we been reminded that Dim was started for FAs?

If you want the sexual aspects taken out (how you're going to do that, I have no idea), then go ahead and use your monotonic insistence to chip away at that foundation. But don't you DARE continue saying that this community has to "deal" with women, when we're just struggling to find a place for ourselves in a group that largely focuses on how tight our clothes should be.

[Blackjack]

No, so why do you persist in claiming SA is all about fat women, and no one else?

Because he's got a persecution complex that has to come up in every single thread.

[William]

Hi Butch

I did not say the SSBBW Forum directly and I think that very large people do need a area for their topics, what goes on at The Learning Channel is a good example why it is needed, but this developing exclusive empathy for Fat Women lately is a symptom of the entitlement of Fat Admiration in Fat Acceptance. Every other group that has come into Fat Acceptance has had to fight their way in.

I am not saying that Size Acceptance is terrible, but if you sample the Fat Blogs you will see that there are even more Fat Women than Fat Men stating some of the same claims as me, their view point is from an even more hostile view of Fat Admiration.

Please do not make this out as if I am out to get Fat Women or something because they are 95% of who I associate with in Fat Acceptance. I am talking about what Fat Acceptance has become, Fat Women are too diverse a group to be singled out as the cause.

William



Did you really just say 'entitlement,' William, when discussing the SSBBW forum? Come on, thats not true or fair, and you sound no different than the fat haters, who characterize the whole SA movement as being for and about middle aged, middle class fat white women. If that is what you really think, then start a thread about it, instead of dredging up more of your standard 'fat men are the bastard step children of SA' lines in Kayrae's thread.

I for one get tired of advocating for the rights of everyone, male and female, fat and thin, under the umbrella of SA, when people continue to heap hate on women like me. Look at the bash workshops being proposed at the Dims bash? Do you see BHM being left out? FAs? No, so why do you persist in claiming SA is all about fat women, and no one else?

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Oh boy, this was enough for me to take William off of ignore so I can see how he stepped in it this time :p

[BeaBea]

Oh boy, this was enough for me to take William off of ignore so I can see how he stepped in it this time :p

And exactly how shocked and surprised were you by what William posted I wonder...? And how long will it be before the siren call of the 'ignore' function overtakes you and peace is restored to Green Eyed Fairlyland...?

Tracey xx

[NancyGirl74]

I'm starting to believe that it is useless writing anything because no one bothers to even read the actual discussion.

How is creating a private forum for women to discuss private mental and physical health issues about stuffing oneself in a closet? The goal is for women who are uncomfortable discussing their issues to have a "safe" place in which to do so. No one's locking anyone in a room. Participation in any of the threads in these new rooms aren't mandatory.

If I want to talk about my vagina, how am I hurting anyone's feelings if I choose to exclude them from this conversation? What kind of advice will a man have to give about my vagina? I don't want to talk about my vagina around men. I don't want to post in the current open health board about my vagina. I'm not the only woman who isn't willing to do so.

Of course there are other topics that can be discussed. And these topics have already been brought up. But if it's necessary, then I'll list it over and over and over and over again. What is wrong about creating a room that will be a beneficial resource to women who are uncomfortable discussing their private health concerns? How is this private room taking away from anyone's Dimensions experience?

I am creating a solution to a problem.

Kayrae, I want to apologize for not clarifying that my post was aimed the many recent attempts by various sub-groups to have all these different private forums. I was not pointing a finger at the topic of a private BBW health board specifically. It is the idea of this community dividing and subdividing itself over and over again that I find frustrating. I feel that being a community (which is very much what Dims is to me) means trying to understand each other even when we piss each other off and we can't do that by hiding in 20 different private rooms.

[William]

Hi Tracey

Unless there is Troll activity, the ignore button is the same as the denial button, talk about me in the third person and I still will not place you on ignore, 99% of the time I will not even answer, but I felt that it should be pointed out that the ignore button most often means that someone is not willing to talk about a subject or contemplate another viewpoint.

William



And exactly how shocked and surprised were you by what William posted I wonder...? And how long will it be before the siren call of the 'ignore' function overtakes you and peace is restored to Green Eyed Fairlyland...?

Tracey xx

[NancyGirl74]

(snipped) I felt that it should be pointed out that the ignore button most often means that someone is not willing to talk about a subject or contemplate another viewpoint.

William

Not to help send this thread way off topic but I want to agree with you on this because what I think you have said holds true in many cases...just not all cases. The one and only time I put someone on ignore was not because I didn't want to contemplate another point of view. It was because I was sick to friggin' death of his/her constant whining about how no one gets his/her plight...no matter what the topic was. Sometimes you are just beyond over someone and in those cases "ignore" is a thing of beauty.

[BeaBea]

it should be pointed out that the ignore button most often means that someone is not willing to talk about a subject or contemplate another viewpoint.

My contribution to this thread indicates that I'm willing to talk about this subject and to contemplate other viewpoints. I cant help wishing that you would bring something new to the thread instead of just seeing another chance to drag out your old soapbox and to give your personal agenda yet another airing.

I wont respond to you again here William, you're all too adept at diverting threads so they end up all about you instead of the issues at hand.

Tracey

[Green Eyed Fairy]

And exactly how shocked and surprised were you by what William posted I wonder...? And how long will it be before the siren call of the 'ignore' function overtakes you and peace is restored to Green Eyed Fairlyland...?

Tracey xx

Indeed.....and as much as I am glad to realize that it's not only me that gets sick to death of the same shit thread after thread after thread hijack, it gets really old. And it's nice to know I am annoying someone by not giving them any attention.

No worries Tracey...he's going right back on it now. ;)

Not to help send this thread way off topic but I want to agree with you on this because what I think you have said holds true in many cases...just not all cases. The one and only time I put someone on ignore was not because I didn't want to contemplate another point of view. It was because I was sick to friggin' death of his/her constant whining about how no one gets his/her plight...no matter what the topic was. Sometimes you are just beyond over someone and in those cases "ignore" is a thing of beauty.


Exactly. Also, I don't want to be that unpleasant, annoyed person fighting in every thread with someone I deem a self centered troll. Some people really just have NOTHING insightful, new or intelligent to add so why bother?

[Green Eyed Fairy]

My contribution to this thread indicates that I'm willing to talk about this subject and to contemplate other viewpoints. I cant help wishing that you would bring something new to the thread instead of just seeing another chance to drag out your old soapbox and to give your personal agenda yet another airing.

I wont respond to you again here William, you're all too adept at diverting threads so they end up all about you instead of the issues at hand.

Tracey

THANK YOU!!!! OMG, THANK YOU!!! :bow: :wubu: :kiss2:

[SamanthaNY]

I cant help wishing that you would bring something new to the thread instead of just seeing another chance to drag out your old soapbox and to give your personal agenda yet another airing.

I wont respond to you again here William, you're all too adept at diverting threads so they end up all about you instead of the issues at hand.

Tracey
It should also be noted that despite what feels like SCORES of requests to do so - William flat refuses to start his own threads to address these issues that he feel are so all-consuming. Yet countless numbers of other threads have been interrupted, derailed and taken over by him. It becomes obvious that his agenda is not to speak out for change, but simply to disrupt. And ANNOY.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

It should also be noted that despite what feels like SCORES of requests to do so - William flat refuses to start his own threads to address these issues that he feel are so all-consuming. Yet countless numbers of other threads have been interrupted, derailed and taken over by him. It becomes obvious that his agenda is not to speak out for change, but simply to disrupt.


Gawd, I have to THANK YOU TOO!!!!


I felt like I was going crazy reading his crap over and over....and knowing it has NOTHING to do with what he is on about....but just a need for attention.

The saddest part is that he DID NOT bother to make that thread.....but Fascinita has made a good one recently about what BHM and BBW have in common. She was very pleasant about it, not accusing anyone of anything and it's turning into a really good, open, honest, insightful discussion, IMO. I actually learned something from it.

[FreeThinker]

Some people really just have NOTHING insightful, new or intelligent to add so why bother?

For instance:


"That's HOT!"


"Post pix plz thx"


"I'd hit that."


"You'd be even more beautiful with another 50 pounds."



You don't think you'd miss all these "appreciative" :rolleyes: comments when you're talking about stuff like not fitting into a bus seat, or being too heavy for the doctor's scale, or such, in a private forum?

Hey, if it's a "read-only" thread that men could view and not post on, you wouldn't have to see those remarks.

And guys wouldn't have to type one-handed.




Just in case anyone still didn't "get" why privacy would be required for such a board.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

For instance:


"That's HOT!"


"Post pix plz thx"


"I'd hit that."


"You'd be even more beautiful with another 50 pounds."



You don't think you'd miss all these "appreciative" :rolleyes: comments when you're talking about stuff like not fitting into a bus seat, or being too heavy for the doctor's scale, or such, in a private forum?

Hey, if it's a "read-only" thread that men could view and not post on, you wouldn't have to see those remarks.

And guys wouldn't have to type one-handed.




Just in case anyone still didn't "get" why privacy would be required for such a board.

Actually, I think all those comments are more useful than going around and around in circles of self serving soap boxing. It's the individual and their intent that is annoying...and I only have one person on this whole board on ignore.

[FreeThinker]

Actually, I think all those comments are more useful than going around and around in circles of self serving soap boxing.

I was just subverting the subversion of this thread, ruthless opportunist that I am.

[Miss Vickie]

Hi Kayrae

This thread and the board that you do not want mentioned is a example of the entitlement of Fat Women when Fat Acceptance is mixed with Fat Admiration and what the rest of Fat Acceptance Community has to deal with.


And heeeeeeeere we go again. :rolleyes: Same song, different verse. No, wait. Actually it's the same verse. Ad nauseum. William, don't you ever get tired of being victimized? Why does the idea of fat women getting support (not at the expense of fat men, by the way) bother you so much? If you want an exclusive BHM site, then create one. But like it or not, fat women are here, and here to stay.

Not only is that WAY out of line on *this* thread - but you've got some nerve posting this crap. I for one, as a fat woman here, feel anything BUT entitled in this fa-centric world. How many times have we been reminded that Dim was started for FAs?

If you want the sexual aspects taken out (how you're going to do that, I have no idea), then go ahead and use your monotonic insistence to chip away at that foundation. But don't you DARE continue saying that this community has to "deal" with women, when we're just struggling to find a place for ourselves in a group that largely focuses on how tight our clothes should be.

Yes. And what butch said -- yes to that, too. William, you have no idea what it's like to be a fat woman, so don't even pretend that you do. Yes, we're pleased as peach pie that there are guys who get their yaya's by our chub, but we're more than that. Much more. And times like this, when our "moreness" comes to light, there are always naysayers who say we shouldn't have it.

Hi Butch

I did not say the SSBBW Forum directly [snip]

I call bullshit. No, you didn't mention the SSBBW Forum in so many words, but you were responding to a post about the forum, and even quoted that post in your reply. If you weren't talking about the SSBBW forum, what the hell were you talking about?

[snip]...and I think that very large people do need a area for their topics, what goes on at The Learning Channel is a good example why it is needed, but this developing exclusive empathy for Fat Women lately is a symptom of the entitlement of Fat Admiration in Fat Acceptance.

What. The. Hell. "Developing"?? You've been fighting about the "exclusive empathy" for fat women for a decade, William. So don't say that it's something new because I know you've been posting about it since the old site. And even if there was empathy for fat women here, isn't that what this place is for??? And in no way is it "exclusive". I think we're pretty caring toward all the different groups of people who post here, the GBLQT forum is a clear indication of that. I think you seem to have a chip on your shoulder that you don't get the sympathy you feel you deserve. And hey, if you have particular issues that you want support with, you can feel free to start a thread -- just like the rest of us. It just means putting on your big boy panties and putting it out there. But this passive aggressive crap is tiresome. If you want something, just ask for it. But whining about the perceived benefits that fat women get doesn't help. Every single time we've asked you about what it is you DO want, you can't give us a straight answer. You tie up bandwidth and our time bitching about how badly fat men have it.... and for what? I don't even think it makes you feel better, truly I don't. It's a tough world out there, William. If you want something, you gotta ask for it.

Please do not make this out as if I am out to get Fat Women or something because they are 95% of who I associate with in Fat Acceptance.

If you don't want people to think that you're attacking fat women, then maybe you should stop doing that. Hmmm. Food for thought.

Kayrae, I want to apologize for not clarifying that my post was aimed the many recent attempts by various sub-groups to have all these different private forums. I was not pointing a finger at the topic of a private BBW health board specifically. It is the idea of this community dividing and subdividing itself over and over again that I find frustrating. I feel that being a community (which is very much what Dims is to me) means trying to understand each other even when we piss each other off and we can't do that by hiding in 20 different private rooms.

Nancy, I appreciate this, and I think you make good points about chopping us up into sub-groups. At some point I think it will become too much and very likely some of those sub-forums will lose traffic. But having them there, for particular needs, is I think a good idea. I agree with you about community building, but I guess I just don't think that discussion about reproductive issues and truly embarrassing health problems will build a community. Or maybe, even if it does, it comes at a cost to the women whose problems need discussion. In my opinion, just knowing that their words can be used to humiliate them would (and I know already, it does) censor them from speaking their mind and subsequently getting support. That's why I think the forum would be useful to Dimensions. My hope is that women wouldn't hide behind the perceived privacy and never post on the main board, but rather use its more private nature to feel comfortable posting things they otherwise wouldn't.

[Sandie S-R]

Well, if we can't change things around here, then what's the point of even having threads like these? If the format isn't satisfactory for the majority of posters i.e. the SSBBW board (and whether it is or not, I don't know), then it should change, either that or every other board that a minority of the population here requests should be added. It seems like a bit of a double-standard.

The SSBBW board is more than just satisfactory for the women it serves, SSBBWs. It is serving a tremendous need. It is fine the way it is and is not going to be changed. Just because you do not understand or agree with the need, doesn't mean that it should or will be changed.

/Moderator

[mergirl]

It should also be noted that despite what feels like SCORES of requests to do so - William flat refuses to start his own threads to address these issues that he feel are so all-consuming. Yet countless numbers of other threads have been interrupted, derailed and taken over by him. It becomes obvious that his agenda is not to speak out for change, but simply to disrupt. And ANNOY.
What you said before "....monotonic insistence to chip away at that foundation." about his posts really summed it up. I hadn't been able to put my finger on it before and used to get confused about why i felt so drained by nothing with much power to it.. That was it exactly..I dont know if this is concious for him or subconcious, though i do think he does need to start his own thred discussing the issues he feels are anoying him.

[William]

Hi Samantha

I address the problem right at the source and unlike your post below I do not presume to know what the other party is thinking, I simply comment on what their statements communicate.

My most frequent statement about BBWs is that they receive terrible treatment from society and get more fat bias than fat men, some of the people that I comment on most frequent comments on the lives of BHM are far less supportive and barely express a need for BHM to be active in Fat Acceptance.

William


It should also be noted that despite what feels like SCORES of requests to do so - William flat refuses to start his own threads to address these issues that he feel are so all-consuming. Yet countless numbers of other threads have been interrupted, derailed and taken over by him. It becomes obvious that his agenda is not to speak out for change, but simply to disrupt. And ANNOY.

[kayrae]

William, no one here is saying that BHMs don't deserve their own space. If you want one, go to the BHM board and ask the men there if they want such a space, then work on writing your own proposal.

Freethink has started a thread that you might be interested in: Marginalization Of BHMs Within The Size-Acceptance Community (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=56007)

[Miss Vickie]

William, no one here is saying that BHMs don't deserve their own space. If you want one, go to the BHM board and ask the men there if they want such a space, then work on writing your own proposal.

Freethink has started a thread that you might be interested in: Marginalization Of BHMs Within The Size-Acceptance Community (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=56007)

True. If you want your own space to discuss these issues, ask for it.

In the meantime I'm looking forward to seeing your contributions to the thread which is, after all, about what a tough time BHM's have within SA.

[Mathias]

Hi Samantha

I address the problem right at the source and unlike your post below I do not presume to know what the other party is thinking, I simply comment on what their statements communicate.

My most frequent statement about BBWs is that they receive terrible treatment from society and get more fat bias than fat men, some of the people that I comment on most frequent comments on the lives of BHM are far less supportive and barely express a need for BHM to be active in Fat Acceptance.

William

What's wrong with the BHM section?

[kayrae]

What's wrong with the BHM section?

I'm going to kindly ask you to keep that conversation in this thread: Marginalization Of BHMs Within The Size-Acceptance Community (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=56007). I would really appreciate this thread to stay on-topic. Thank you.

[William]

Hi

Most of the time when someone is dismissing or minimizing BHMs and their life experiences as Fat People it is outside of the BHM/FFA Section. The BHM/FFA section has great support.

William




What's wrong with the BHM section?

[Blackjack]

Hi

Most of the time when someone is dismissing or minimizing BHMs and their life experiences as Fat People it is outside of the BHM/FFA Section. The BHM/FFA section has great support.

William
To save her the trouble of typing it out again:

I'm going to kindly ask you to keep that conversation in this thread: Marginalization Of BHMs Within The Size-Acceptance Community (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=56007). I would really appreciate this thread to stay on-topic. Thank you.

[SamanthaNY]

Hi Samantha

I address the problem right at the source and unlike your post below I do not presume to know what the other party is thinking, I simply comment on what their statements communicate.

My most frequent statement about BBWs is that they receive terrible treatment from society and get more fat bias than fat men, some of the people that I comment on most frequent comments on the lives of BHM are far less supportive and barely express a need for BHM to be active in Fat Acceptance.

William
No. You 'address' nothing - there is no problem, but that which YOU create.

I can't begin to imagine what you think - and trying to suss out that information has proved fruitless for all who have tried. What I have done, and what others have done, is to identify not your thoughts, but your actions - interruption, disruption, avoidance, and annoyance. You can deny it, but it's still laid bare for all to see. It is your truth.

You show no concern the issues you speak of - that's more than apparent in the way you completely ignore opportunities (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=56007) to take the lead on bringing them out in the open.

You'll just continue to interrupt other threads and other people. I wonder if you even realize that that's your compulsion.

[kayrae]

William, I am kindly asking you to talk about your fat man experience on this thread: Marginalization Of BHMs Within The Size-Acceptance Community (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=56007)

I am not "dismissing or minimizing BHMs and their life experiences as Fat People." I am however very much interested in keeping this discussion on-track.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

He will keep posting....over and over and over....saying the same exact thing...if you give him attention.

*Does the Hokey-Pokey and watches it go around and around.....because THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT!* :p

[William]

Hi Kayrae

I never saw any need for BHMs to be brought into this thread in the first place. Good luck keeping this on track.

William


William, I am kindly asking you to talk about your fat man experience on this thread: Marginalization Of BHMs Within The Size-Acceptance Community (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=56007)

I am not "dismissing or minimizing BHMs and their life experiences as Fat People." I am however very much interested in keeping this discussion on-track.

[BeaBea]

:doh::doh::doh:

[Miss Vickie]

*chuckles about the predictability of it all*

Okay, so anyway, about this BBW forum. Assuming it were ever to come to pass, how do you see it being limited? Only to BBW? Only to long time posters? Who would decide who gets in?

Maybe we should start talking about the nuts and bolts of the thing, lest we get pulled off topic.

[FaxMachine1234]

Ekim, I'm going to kindly ask you to stop bringing up the SSBBW board. There is no double standard from Conrad or the DIMS mods. There has been no proposal, therefore there hasn't been a response. We (and I'm talking for the women who are supportive of having a women's only board/bbw board) are not asking to change the SSBBW board.

Please stop de-railing the original intention of this thread. I am not trying to be an asshole here, but I'd like this to stay on-topic. Thanks in advance.

Well, I was trying to look at this from an objective viewpoint, since I personally wouldn't receive any benefits from the results of this discussion anyway...

[kayrae]

Miss Vickie, thank you so much for bringing up this particular topic. It's the one that's hardest to figure out. Personally I'd like to see this board limited to all females (BBWs, SSBBWs, and FFAs only). I think it's reasonable to expect this board to be limited to long-time posters at first. With that said, how would we define "long time poster"?

As for this question: Who will decide who gets in? I'm gonna have to trust Conrad and the existing mods' discretion. But this is such a huge undertaking, I'm at a loss as to how to move forward with something like that.

What are your thoughts?


*chuckles about the predictability of it all*

Okay, so anyway, about this BBW forum. Assuming it were ever to come to pass, how do you see it being limited? Only to BBW? Only to long time posters? Who would decide who gets in?

Maybe we should start talking about the nuts and bolts of the thing, lest we get pulled off topic.

[mergirl]

Miss Vickie, thank you so much for bringing up this particular topic. It's the one that's hardest to figure out. Personally I'd like to see this board limited to all females (BBWs, SSBBWs, and FFAs only). I think it's reasonable to expect this board to be limited to long-time posters at first. With that said, how would we define "long time poster"?

As for this question: Who will decide who gets in? I'm gonna have to trust Conrad and the existing mods' discretion. But this is such a huge undertaking, I'm at a loss as to how to move forward with something like that.

What are your thoughts?
Ahh.. so you are proposing a 'womans' board. OK. Cause the thred is asking about views for a private Bbw board.
I actually think this is a better idea than a smaller bbw board because there are a lot of women who might have 'fat issues' to deal with even though they have lost weight also Its hard to quantify what exactly equates a bbw because i think its a subjective concept..etc etc..
In saying that, Personally i feel no need for a private womans board BUT if there are a majority of women who feel they need one then i am in support of this proposed forum.
The reason i brought up the issue of the ssbbw board before is because i think if this board is going to get given the go ahead, there is a lot to be learned from them as far as who to let in is concerned.
Do people have to show a pic of themselves (of their face) holding a copy of that days newspaper to become a member? Though people could get someone else to pose as them, so maby Dna analysis would be needed!
What about trans people M 2 F, would they be allowed in? (pre op).
What constitutes long term member? 1 year? 6 months?

What Would be the subjects discussed.?
Would they be only matters of gynocology and womens mental health? Like a health board for women?
I think if it went any further than that, ie discussing womans history, music , film , roles in society, womens politics.. then it would stop being something helpful and turn into something detrimental through exclusion..
So am i right in assuming that actually what is being proposed is a 'private womans health board'.??

[Miss Vickie]

Miss Vickie, thank you so much for bringing up this particular topic. It's the one that's hardest to figure out. Personally I'd like to see this board limited to all females (BBWs, SSBBWs, and FFAs only). I think it's reasonable to expect this board to be limited to long-time posters at first. With that said, how would we define "long time poster"?

I'd like to see the board available to all females as well. I think we all have issues that we wouldn't want to discuss publicly, but perhaps need the support of like-minded and/or like-bodied women.

As for long term, I'm not sure how to define that. I suppose it'll be up to those who post there. Maybe six months of regular posting? It also needs to be really clear that the private issues discussed in a private forum stay private and that if there is proof of anyone violating that, they would be permanently banned.

As for this question: Who will decide who gets in? I'm gonna have to trust Conrad and the existing mods' discretion. But this is such a huge undertaking, I'm at a loss as to how to move forward with something like that.

I agree. Both about trusting the mods, and about the fact that this will be an enormous undertaking. I hate to give the mods more to do. :( They already have their hands full, but I think that once the thing is in place, it should be just lots of low key, vagina talk. ;)

[mossystate]

I do wonder about a board for all women. I think that weakens things a bit. I don't know how comfortable bbw would feel talking about things that have to do with not just ' female problems ', but being fat in a world that does not always treat fat people with much respect. The fa's want a ' safe place ' and I just don't see a board for all women being a safe place.

There are a million places to talk about uncomfortable issues that any woman might face...and pretty no place for fat women to talk about the mind and the body. Just seems like, once again, fat women have to take the scraps. How did asking for a place for bbw......become something for all women. That makes no sense, here at Dimensions. Blah.

[mergirl]

I do wonder about a board for all women. I think that weakens things a bit. I don't know how comfortable bbw would feel talking about things that have to do with not just ' female problems ', but being fat in a world that does not always treat fat people with much respect. The fa's want a ' safe place ' and I just don't see a board for all women being a safe place.

There are a million places to talk about uncomfortable issues that any woman might face...and pretty no place for fat women to talk about the mind and the body. Just seems like, once again, fat women have to take the scraps. How did asking for a place for bbw......become something for all women. That makes no sense, here at Dimensions. Blah.
See..I agree with this!! and also i dont and then i do..and then..
i dont..
This post started off as a request for a private bbw board.
Already there is a private supersized bbw board.
This is approved.
ok.. so women who weigh..what? 25 st on up have a board to chat on..in private.
what size do you have to be to be a bbw?
14 st? 15st?
so there seems to be a 10st weight range where bbws cannot chat in private..
Mossy.. i agree. i'm sorry for y'all .. but womens issues can be discussed anywhere/everywhere!!
I'm trying not to be flippant but everything from periods to sexual abuse to vaginal discharge can be discussed in a million other places.. BUT being a fat woman, living, psychologically, spiritually, physically as a fat woman is NOT discussed in a million places.
its just not..it COULD be here..
and if people are not comfortable discussing Fat women issues in public then OF course there should be a private forum..
If the ssbbws need one then why dont the rest..
we all have different problems, sure.
its finding the cut offs for where and when these problems begin and end..
Think its subjective,, but we can try,,

[Miss Vickie]

I do wonder about a board for all women. I think that weakens things a bit. I don't know how comfortable bbw would feel talking about things that have to do with not just ' female problems ', but being fat in a world that does not always treat fat people with much respect. The fa's want a ' safe place ' and I just don't see a board for all women being a safe place.

There are a million places to talk about uncomfortable issues that any woman might face...and pretty no place for fat women to talk about the mind and the body. Just seems like, once again, fat women have to take the scraps. How did asking for a place for bbw......become something for all women. That makes no sense, here at Dimensions. Blah.

Okay, I see your point. I wouldn't want BBW to be uncomfortable. I guess I was just trying to be inclusive, and I would hope (!) that any woman who frequents this site would be more... sensitive... to the problems her larger sisters have and not be a complete prick about issues that are brought up.

Obviously, what serves BBW is best. I wonder, though, how you decide who's BBW "enough" to get in. Am I large enough at a size 14? Or am I to be grandmothered in because I was a fat woman, and according to some will undoubtedly regain my weight? I have a hard time with weight limits of any kind -- the "too big" kind, or the "too small" kind. I think in order to avoid that, at last requiring two x chromosomes is a little more cut and dry.

But I'm not wedded to any particular agenda. I just want women to have a place they feel comfortable discussing private stuff, because I think it's a relevant need for Dimensions' community.

[mergirl]

See i agree with this.. etc.. see above..

[mergirl]

Okay, I see your point. I wouldn't want BBW to be uncomfortable. I guess I was just trying to be inclusive, and I would hope (!) that any woman who frequents this site would be more... sensitive... to the problems her larger sisters have and not be a complete prick about issues that are brought up.

Obviously, what serves BBW is best. I wonder, though, how you decide who's BBW "enough" to get in. Am I large enough at a size 14? Or am I to be grandmothered in because I was a fat woman, and according to some will undoubtedly regain my weight? I have a hard time with weight limits of any kind -- the "too big" kind, or the "too small" kind. I think in order to avoid that, at last requiring two x chromosomes is a little more cut and dry.

But I'm not wedded to any particular agenda. I just want women to have a place they feel comfortable discussing private stuff, because I think it's a relevant need for Dimensions' community.
Ok. i'm going to put this out there... but..
HERE, womens issues ARE also Fat womens issues.
Whether its because we are thin but have experience of being with/loving our fat sisters, whether we are kinna chubby/fat and feel the same.. we might have been Muchly fat and have lost weight and know what fat feels like in the head.. even anorexic and body dysmorphic.. we are still going to empathise.
we cant go russian doll style, smaller and smaller in rooms and rooms of smaller and smaller people.. I GET that bigger fat people have 'different' problems.. but to be honest IF there were to be a private womans forum ..And lets be honest HERE it would be a FAT WOMANS FORUM (past/present/future/or friend).. It will be a womans forum. A womens forum with fat in mind..not a fat womans forum with womens issues on mind.
THIS i can get on board with..

[mergirl]

The problem is Mer, I don't think that is going to fly for the majority of the BBWs here.

"basically you are saying fa's that like bhms might not be allowed.."

No, that is not what I'm saying.

What I am saying is that women who are not BBWs will likely not be allowed. There are some thin FFAs who have a exhibited a a tremendous amount of disdain for fat women here on this site. So for the board to be successful (meaning a private place for BBWs to openly discuss their health issues) then thin women will most likely have to excluded. Most BBWs here are not going to feel safe if the thin women mentioned (as bbw bashers) are allowed in the forum.

This is just my take, based on a LONNNNNGGGG history history here at Dimensions. ;)
OK sistah.. i hear you..
But the women you talk about ARE obviously thin Bhm lovers..
Cause all the rest here are bbws or bi/gay ffa's.
You know what sandie? -fuck them.! those horrendous women who have any distain for bbws! Of course they shouldnt be allowed on any Womens forum..actually LET ALONE DIMENSIONS ITSELF!!
What i'm saying though is ..they are few and far between..
people like Dr P and GEF.. people I ADORE who are women lovers to the core (dont mean sexually you guys :))
For example-those who shall not be named in canklegate..could really have been any size.. but basically they were not Pro-bbw or feminists or well sistahhhs! But there are skinnies like ..(i keep mentioning her) Dr P.. Who Might be a couple of dress sizes smaller than bbw.. but who is Totally a supporter of FAT rights!
i think this board..if it takes off should reflect these points..

[mossystate]

Seems that the focus should be on those who have rarely, if ever, had a voice and a safe place......not for ' supporters ', who can support all over the general board. This is not denying the smaller women.....anything. Sometimes, it is good to have the ear of only those who are in your shoes.

[D_A_Bunny]

Sometimes, it is good to have the ear of only those who are in your shoes.

Quoted for truth.

[mergirl]

Define your shoes and those who 'are in' them. Then we will get somewhere!

[LoveBHMS]

Define your shoes and those who 'are in' them. Then we will get somewhere!

She means fat people. Only fat people understand what it's like to be fat.

You want to break this down into "good FAs" (you) and "bad FAs" (me) and get special treatment for the good ones. What they are saying is supporters/allies/lovers still don't have the experience firsthand.

I'm an ally of the gay community. I am straight but support gay marriage. I don't agree with laws against gay marriage and I don't agree with things like firing somebody from their job if they are gay. OTOH, those things won't ever personally affect me or my straight friends or relatives. I don't agree with firing somebody from their job for being gay, but I also don't have to worry about it every happening to me, whereas a gay person does.

[mergirl]

She means fat people. Only fat people understand what it's like to be fat.

You want to break this down into "good FAs" (you) and "bad FAs" (me) and get special treatment for the good ones. What they are saying is supporters/allies/lovers still don't have the experience firsthand.

I'm an ally of the gay community. I am straight but support gay marriage. I don't agree with laws against gay marriage and I don't agree with things like firing somebody from their job if they are gay. OTOH, those things won't ever personally affect me or my straight friends or relatives. I don't agree with firing somebody from their job for being gay, but I also don't have to worry about it every happening to me, whereas a gay person does.
Pure PISH!
I think all Dims women should be allowed in this 'womans forum' ..
you should read my post again and you will see this..you really will!!
i was replying to someone and telling her that the people she was talking about are bhm lovers.. and i said well..i have friends who are and who i would want to be a part of this mentioned community
its nothing to do with bad Fa's and good fa's!? lmao
its to do with people not actually giving a fuck about women (fat or thin) and slagging them off within the community that is ment to love and protect them..
wtf does this have to do with being gay btw?? or knowing gay people? or about gay marrage? or about firing a gay person?
i have lost your plot..

[mergirl]

oh and clinically I AM FAT PEOPLE! btw

[LoveBHMS]

You asked what Mossystate meant by "walk in our shoes."

I explained she meant that "walk in our shoes" meant being fat. Not being an FA, but actually being fat.

My point about being gay was that allies of the gay community are not the same as gay people just as FAs are not fat.

You and Sandie SR posted twice with very obvious references to me. You said that people like me should not be allowed in a private BBW forum but people like you should. What Mossystate was saying was that even the "best" FAs are still not fat people and don't have the same experiences.

[mergirl]

You asked what Mossystate meant by "walk in our shoes."

I explained she meant that "walk in our shoes" meant being fat. Not being an FA, but actually being fat.

My point about being gay was that allies of the gay community are not the same as gay people just as FAs are not fat.

You and Sandie SR posted twice with very obvious references to me. You said that people like me should not be allowed in a private BBW forum but people like you should. What Mossystate was saying was that even the "best" FAs are still not fat people and don't have the same experiences.
I am fat.i am an fa.
i was not talking about you in any way.
if sandie was?? i have no idea..
As for me i pointed out that a womens board would not be the same without straight ffas such as gef and dr p.. they were off the top of my head ...you are included in this.
I think the best fa's are those who are fat actually! meaning ME!

[LoveBHMS]

Come on....let's be real.

Sandie SR made an *obvious* reference to me. You mentioned "Canklegate" and how certain women should not be on Dims. That was clearly me you were talking about since YOU brought up Canklegate.

Your whole exchange with Sandie was clearly about me. Everyone who was around for Canklegate got it. I don't hate fat women but some people won't ever believe that.

However, if you yourself are fat then you should be included in any forum about fat women. Not as an FA, but as a BBW.

I do NOT agree that there is such thing as a "best" FA. Yes of course a fellow fattie can understand the fat experience but some FAs are thin or average. That does not make them lesser FAs.

[mergirl]

Come on....let's be real.

Sandie SR made an *obvious* reference to me. You mentioned "Canklegate" and how certain women should not be on Dims. That was clearly me you were talking about since YOU brought up Canklegate.

Your whole exchange with Sandie was clearly about me. Everyone who was around for Canklegate got it. I don't hate fat women but some people won't ever believe that.

However, if you yourself are fat then you should be included in any forum about fat women. Not as an FA, but as a BBW.

I do NOT agree that there is such thing as a "best" FA. Yes of course a fellow fattie can understand the fat experience but some FAs are thin or average. That does not make them lesser FAs.
I dont even remember who was involved in said 'cankle gate' ..but quite obviously it was you from your remarks.. All i remember is two girls chatting and slagging off big women.. This is why i mentioned it when sandie mentioned people who she thought bbws would feel uncomfortable being in a women only forum.
I'm not talking about 'best in show' here. I'm saying that the best Fa's are fat themselves..this goes without saying and is quite obvious. Fat Fa's will understand fat people more because they are fat... what is not understood about that.?

[mergirl]

And by best ..i mean at understanding,, not like the BEST people!

[LoveBHMS]

Well it seemed as though your constant reference to women who "like BHMS" was about me and you knew it.

At any rate, I think Mossystate just meant that "walk in our shoes" meant 'be fat" and if you are fat and there is a private forum, you should be included.

And sure maybe you can be a *better* FA if you are fat, but maybe as an FA (or FFA) you can still learn and inform yourself about fattie issues. I already posted about this, but I recently met a SSBBW pal for drinks and dinner. Had I not read the "Dating a SSBBW" thread, I would not have had the sense to worry over if she would be comfortable with my choice of seating. I work at a bar and sometimes when the hostess is away from her post, I have to seat people, and because of what I have learned on Dims, I can make sure to not seat SS men or women in booths.

IOW, I did learn by reading about fat people's experiences and was able to be helpful towards them. OTOH, learning about somebody's experiences is NOT the same thing as sharing them.

[mergirl]

Well it seemed as though your constant reference to women who "like BHMS" was about me and you knew it.

At any rate, I think Mossystate just meant that "walk in our shoes" meant 'be fat" and if you are fat and there is a private forum, you should be included.

And sure maybe you can be a *better* FA if you are fat, but maybe as an FA (or FFA) you can still learn and inform yourself about fattie issues. I already posted about this, but I recently met a SSBBW pal for drinks and dinner. Had I not read the "Dating a SSBBW" thread, I would not have had the sense to worry over if she would be comfortable with my choice of seating. I work at a bar and sometimes when the hostess is away from her post, I have to seat people, and because of what I have learned on Dims, I can make sure to not seat SS men or women in booths.

IOW, I did learn by reading about fat people's experiences and was able to be helpful towards them. OTOH, learning about somebody's experiences is NOT the same thing as sharing them.
Nope.. i was referencing 'women who like bhm's' cause they seemed to be the only group missing in the womens forum and i didnt want that cause as ive said now a few times..i have a few bhm loving friends here that i would love to join in with debate on a womans forum and not miss out on stuff.
I think its great you learned from Dimensions how to make your ssbbw friend feel more comfortable...i think this is one of the best aspects about the site.. i dont know what iow or otoh means ...but your emboldened NOT i get and i agree with.

[LoveBHMS]

IOW= In other words
OTOH= On the other hands.

All I meant was from reading this board I have become more informed about fat people issues. However being informed and aware is not the same as living them.

Sandie was very clearly referring to me in her reasoning for not allowing women under size 18 to be in the private forum. There were a LOT of discussions when the 450+ private forum was started and numerous FA said they thought they could learn a lot from access to such a forum (like if you had a SS friend, date, or relative you could become more learned about their issues) but the SS women said they needed privacy and were not going to be educational material.

I suspect the "Under 450 but still fat" forum feels the same way. I have no doubt that other women could make a positive contribution, but the sense I get is that it's unwelcome in that particular venue.

[Miss Vickie]

Yeah, so anyway, about the board. Obviously, I'd like to be involved but since I'm a size 12 (even though I'm considered obese by BMI standards) I'd probably be "too small". That's okay. I'm disappointed, but I'm just happy that something could be created for those in need.

[Suze]

oh and clinically I AM FAT PEOPLE! btw

tel me ur weighht and heiigh pleas :eat2::eat1:

[AnnMarie]

Fat Fa's will understand fat people more because they are fat... what is not understood about that.?

I don't agree with that. Just because they know the issues first hand doesn't mean they're necessarily better at being with a fat partner. All of my exes are thin FA men, and they've mostly all been very understanding, helpful, supportive, willing partners. They wouldn't have been better at being with me simply by measure of body weight.

[mergirl]

I don't agree with that. Just because they know the issues first hand doesn't mean they're necessarily better at being with a fat partner. All of my exes are thin FA men, and they've mostly all been very understanding, helpful, supportive, willing partners. They wouldn't have been better at being with me simply by measure of body weight.
Have you been with an Fa who is also fat?
I am saying you have to be fat to really know what it is like to be fat. No matter how supportive, attentive, willing or helpful your partner will/can be will they really ever know what its like for you to BE fat? NO.
If ALL of your Ex's have been thin men then you have no reference point..when you date a bhm then you will know what i mean.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

You know.......I think Sandie brought up some good points/reasons why some might not be comfortable with anyone that is not a BBW on the board. I can support that reasoning, if needed. I don't mind the idea of smaller women but it's a group thing so I'm thinking majority rule might work?

I'm also thinking a model of the SSBBW board might work. I really would like to know more details about it since I originally believed (from many posts about it) that it was a hygiene only type board but Sandie says it is more than that. What are the criteria for that board? How do they pick and choose it's members? (Once again, I think Sandie kind of laid that out already and that her advice on some of this might be quite helpful).

But....one thing bothers me. I see it being said that if they are not bbw, then they don't know what it is to be a fat person. So....what about Miss Vickie, Susannah, others that have formerly been fat women but now are not? I think they should qualify.......
I also think a size 18 woman qualifies as BBW.....only in Fat World aka Dims is size 18 "small" by the most generous of definitions. Size 16/18 is big out in reality and they get the same shit as a lot of us that are bigger.

@Mer....you just threw me for a loop when you called me "woman lover to the core". Still digesting that one....but I think I should thank you :)

[mergirl]

Yeah, so anyway, about the board. Obviously, I'd like to be involved but since I'm a size 12 (even though I'm considered obese by BMI standards) I'd probably be "too small". That's okay. I'm disappointed, but I'm just happy that something could be created for those in need.
See, this is what i mean.. thats pish. It should be a womans board and you should be involved.. lest it all be pish and pointless and too exclusive to the detroment of THE WHOLE GODDAM UNIVERSE!!!

[kayrae]

And to add to GEF's post, if you look into the fashion world, size 12 is in the plus-size section. Some of these size 12 women also think they're fat.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

And to add to GEF's post, if you look into the fashion world, size 12 is in the plus-size section. Some of these size 12 women also think they're fat.

Good point....back in my yo-yo diet all the time days, it did something to me mentally to realize I had to walk from the "normal size" section of clothing over to the "fat people" section...and vice versa. Yeah, I think sizes 12/14 might have issues, too, even if they are now being called "average size"....they are not considered thin by the media or many of our peers.

[mergirl]

You know.......I think Sandie brought up some good points/reasons why some might not be comfortable with anyone that is not a BBW on the board. I can support that reasoning, if needed. I don't mind the idea of smaller women but it's a group thing so I'm thinking majority rule might work?

I'm also thinking a model of the SSBBW board might work. I really would like to know more details about it since I originally believed (from many posts about it) that it was a hygiene only type board but Sandie says it is more than that. What are the criteria for that board? How do they pick and choose it's members? (Once again, I think Sandie kind of laid that out already and that her advice on some of this might be quite helpful).

But....one thing bothers me. I see it being said that if they are not bbw, then they don't know what it is to be a fat person. So....what about Miss Vickie, Susannah, others that have formerly been fat women but now are not? I think they should qualify.......
I also think a size 18 woman qualifies as BBW.....only in Fat World aka Dims is size 18 "small" by the most generous of definitions. Size 16/18 is big out in reality and they get the same shit as a lot of us that are bigger.

@Mer....you just threw me for a loop when you called me "woman lover to the core". Still digesting that one....but I think I should thank you :)
Aye.. see i am 16/18 and i have one top that is a 20 but i'm not talking about that until mentally i am fatually ready for it! Here i dont feel 'fat' for whatever that means.. but in real world i am..
Cant we just have a private forum where all the cool women hang out..
I think though a health forum is a bit.. bleerrrghh..
Couldnt it be MORE than that?
Like a support ..not just health.. well health of the mind..maby..
aye.. hmm.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Aye.. see i am 16/18 and i have one top that is a 20 but i'm not talking about that until mentally i am fatually ready for it! Here i dont feel 'fat' for whatever that means.. but in real world i am..
Cant we just have a private forum where all the cool women hang out..
I think though a health forum is a bit.. bleerrrghh..
Couldnt it be MORE than that?
Like a support ..not just health.. well health of the mind..maby..
aye.. hmm.


Lol Mer.....calm down. You qualify, IMHO, fat girl :p

[kayrae]

The private forum that I want deals with issues of both mental and physical health, issues that women are uncomfortable talking about in the current open health board. If women want to get some kind of support, the private forum that I want should be a place where they can get that. I wouldn't want this to be a "cool" hang-out spot necessarily.

[mergirl]

Lol Mer.....calm down. You qualify, IMHO, fat girl :p
haha.. the thing is.. untill we even talked about this i assumed i was thin.. and an Fa.. until GD said to me.. no actually your not! I have total body dysmorphia.. and people are only fat to me if they are at least double me! hmm god damn this place and its ruination of my sense of self!!
Anyway.. is it agreed? what everyone wants is a cool woman place.. for cool and fruity women specially..
I'm off to bed.. yaawwwwnn.. ;)

[Sandie S-R]

You know.......I think Sandie brought up some good points/reasons why some might not be comfortable with anyone that is not a BBW on the board. I can support that reasoning, if needed. I don't mind the idea of smaller women but it's a group thing so I'm thinking majority rule might work?

I'm also thinking a model of the SSBBW board might work. I really would like to know more details about it since I originally believed (from many posts about it) that it was a hygiene only type board but Sandie says it is more than that. What are the criteria for that board? How do they pick and choose it's members? (Once again, I think Sandie kind of laid that out already and that her advice on some of this might be quite helpful).

But....one thing bothers me. I see it being said that if they are not bbw, then they don't know what it is to be a fat person. So....what about Miss Vickie, Susannah, others that have formerly been fat women but now are not? I think they should qualify.......
I also think a size 18 woman qualifies as BBW.....only in Fat World aka Dims is size 18 "small" by the most generous of definitions. Size 16/18 is big out in reality and they get the same shit as a lot of us that are bigger.

@Mer....you just threw me for a loop when you called me "woman lover to the core". Still digesting that one....but I think I should thank you :)

GEF et.al.,

I'm happy to let you all pick my brain for ideas on setting up a private BBW board. However, we will not be discussing any specifics about the SSBBW board. It is a private board, and we go out of our way to protect the confidentiality of those who are members. Including how they become members.

Sandie
/Moderator

[Green Eyed Fairy]

haha.. the thing is.. untill we even talked about this i assumed i was thin.. and an Fa.. until GD said to me.. no actually your not! I have total body dysmorphia.. and people are only fat to me if they are at least double me! hmm god damn this place and its ruination of my sense of self!!
Anyway.. is it agreed? what everyone wants is a cool woman place.. for cool and fruity women specially..
I'm off to bed.. yaawwwwnn.. ;)

I will follow you all over the boards and call you fatty if that makes it better :p

[mergirl]

I will follow you all over the boards and call you fatty if that makes it better :p
It might even turn me on GEF,, so you betta watch owwwwwt! lmao:D

[BeaBea]

Hand on heart my gut reaction to this issue is that the board should be limited to larger women only. But then immediately I want to include Miss Vickie who I know understands only too well, and lots of other smaller women who I definitely feel would empathise with issues they had experience of and the wisdom to not say anything if they couldn't. I'm left in a conumdrum then because I cant see any fair way to divide who I want included and who I dont.

Tracey xx

[Green Eyed Fairy]

But what is the definition of larger? Dimensions definition or REAL WORLD definition?

Personally, I think a lot of issues start out in reality....so let's run with reality.

[NancyGirl74]

Question...If the too small woman will be excluded because someone else has decided what defines BBW will the SSBBWs be excluded too?

[bexy]

You know, initally I was dead against this board as I don't like the idea of Dims being cut into lots and lots of small subsections.

But then I remembered something that happened to me about a year ago.

I had been talking about Dims a lot, mentioning how I was enjoying posting here. My friend was like "what is it, what is it for, why are you always on it" etc. He didn't really understand what it was about.

Shortly after that I posted a thread on the Health board about my belly button and issues I was having with it.

A few days later my friend asked me how my belly button was. He was giggling. Now, he wasn't being nasty but he was taking the mickey outta me a wee bit.
Turns out he signed up to Dims to see what types of things I posted here and read the post about my belly button.

I had a bit of a row with him about it, and he said sorry. He is immature sometimes, thats about the only explanation for it!

I know this is a bit of an elaborate example but it did happen.
And for that reason I can understand why women here may feel the need for a private space. Not only so they can discuss their health issues, be them mental or physical, but so they can discuss them with people they have come to know and feel comfortable with.

What my friend did didn't embarrass me or annoy me as such, I just felt pissed off that he was mocking my participation here. I am happy to discuss things in front of men, as I often tend to feel closer to them than women. And that is even with a history of sexual abuse. I am closer to George than anyone in the world and can talk to him about anything, and so the gender seperation thing doesn't really appeal to me. But the privacy thing, I can kinda understand.

I guess I am saying I don't mind if this forum comes to pass or not, I don't feel a desperate need for it. But I can understand there are those who do and that they have vaild reasons.

[kayrae]

Then what this all boils down to is trust.

Personally, I trust all the women on this site... but I'm new. For the most part, I'm unscathed and my feelings haven't been hurt by the thin women on this site. Not on my issues about fat anyway.

How about this as a solution: Entrance is gained first by fat women who are interested in a private health forum (We can discuss who is considered "fat" later). The women who are invited must first agree on some kind of privacy clause, which we can hammer out. Not only do you have to be fat, you also must have a certain number of posts under your belt.

After that, entrance by anyone else is based on group consensus. We can also hammer out later what "group consensus" means. It can be absolute, by majority, or some kind of agreed upon percentage.

Thoughts?

[Sandie S-R]

Question...If the too small woman will be excluded because someone else has decided what defines BBW will the SSBBWs be excluded too?

My answer to that would be no. Primarily because, before an SSBBW became SS, she was a BBW. There is nothing that a BBW is experiencing that an SSBBW hasn't already experienced.

SSBBW didn't magically go from thin to SS bypassing the BBW experience. :D

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Then what this all boils down to is trust.

Personally, I trust all the women on this site... but I'm new. For the most part, I'm unscathed and my feelings haven't been hurt by the thin women on this site. Not on my issues about fat anyway.

How about this as a solution: Entrance is gained first by fat women who are interested in a private health forum (We can discuss who is considered "fat" later). The women who are invited must first agree on some kind of privacy clause, which we can hammer out. Not only do you have to be fat, you also must have a certain number of posts under your belt.

After that, entrance by anyone else is based on group consensus. We can also hammer out later what "group consensus" means. It can be absolute, by majority, or some kind of agreed upon percentage.

Thoughts?

Yeah....a person would have to have a certain number of posts and tend to be "known" around here on some level...because we don't want men making up an ID and pretending to be a woman just to read shit he has no business reading.

My major concern, though, with too much exclusionary is that I would like for it to be a place for newer members, too. And, if they don't know of the existence of this board, what would be the criteria for new member invitation?
There should be more on Dims for the newer members than "freedom to post naked pictures". Sure, that's liberating for some, but there needs to be more substance.

I like your ideas, Kayrae, and I'm hoping to hear more good ideas from others reading this thread.

[Sandie S-R]

Then what this all boils down to is trust.

Personally, I trust all the women on this site... but I'm new. For the most part, I'm unscathed and my feelings haven't been hurt by the thin women on this site. Not on my issues about fat anyway.

How about this as a solution: Entrance is gained first by fat women who are interested in a private health forum (We can discuss who is considered "fat" later). The women who are invited must first agree on some kind of privacy clause, which we can hammer out. Not only do you have to be fat, you also must have a certain number of posts under your belt.

After that, entrance by anyone else is based on group consensus. We can also hammer out later what "group consensus" means. It can be absolute, by majority, or some kind of agreed upon percentage.

Thoughts?


Kayrae,

Just a piece of advice. I wouldn't suggest allowing a group membership to jury every member. It will turn into a nightmare. Trust me on this. Once your basic criteria is established, then let your mods handle the admittance.

Some of this should probably be discussed in PM. You're welcome to PM me if you like.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

My answer to that would be no. Primarily because, before an SSBBW became SS, she was a BBW. There is nothing that a BBW is experiencing that an SSBBW hasn't already experienced.

SSBBW didn't magically go from thin to SS bypassing the BBW experience. :D

I have to admit that I am feeling a bit resentful that SSBBW will be included but have been told we can know nothing of how to go about having something similiar to their board for smaller BBWs.
I want SSBBW included...but some help with "our board" would be nice.

[Sandie S-R]

I have to admit that I am feeling a bit resentful that SSBBW will be included but have been told we can know nothing of how to go about having something similiar to their board for smaller BBWs.
I want SSBBW included...but some help with "our board" would be nice.

I am more than willing to help. And I suggested that Kayrae contact me via PM.

[kayrae]

You just might be right. That does sound like a nightmare. I'm just trying to figure out how we can make this work.

Kayrae,

Just a piece of advice. I wouldn't suggest allowing a group membership to jury every member. It will turn into a nightmare. Trust me on this. Once your basic criteria is established, then let your mods handle the admittance.

Some of this should probably be discussed in PM. You're welcome to PM me if you like.

[AnnMarie]

As Sandie said, this has to go to PM and private discussions because there are logistics of private boards, requirements, enforcements, etc... that have to be done and managed by moderators and admins. While it's nice for a group making a proposal (to my knowledge, we still don't actually have one?) for something - the details are not handled by them, they have to be handled by those who have more experience in the good, and bad, ways these things have gone in the past.

We've all learned lessons, and while nothing will be perfect, there are ideas that members have that may or may not be applicable in a real board setting - so proposal, then ultimately Conrad makes the calls on if/how it will be executed.

I'm not raining on parades here, I'm frankly tired of allllll this board talk, but I just want people to be realistic and not spinning their wheels in endless conversations about "how/when/what/who" when ultimately those decisions won't be enforced or made by "you" (general you), but of course input is always needed and welcome.

[kayrae]

Hi AnneMarie, thanks for the input. Some of the discussion has moved to PMs.

For anyone else who is interested in the creation of this proposal and would like to give their name as a supporter, please let me know. It's too bad I didn't just make this an open poll. Anyway, I promise not to include your name as a supporter until you've actually read the proposal in its entirety. But at this point, I would love to actually start putting something together and have some form of document ready. It might also expedite the process if I know who I should contact.

[mossystate]

Bumping this thread.


I think the way the public/protected FA forum is set up, with the potential ' backroom ', would be the smartest way to go. More sensitive health issues could be taken private, while the general living and experiences as a BBW on the planet can be discussed for the benefit of all.

Just the being able to see the letters BBW...on the frontpage...would be a welcoming sight to fat women who are already here...and fat women who are searching for a place to tell their stories, without having to wade through ( if they even stick around, or try to find a sense of community on the other boards, which does not exactly speak to everything a woman needs ) the comments about their looks. Trust me... after a while, when you just want to be human every now and again, and not a Fat Woman, this sort of thing gets as tiresome as having people obsess about your body because they want you to lose weight. There is lots to learn from so many of the fat women on this board. Dims would be a progressive place for newcomers.


I would hope any proposal would not be too narrow in its focus. I know many of us have expressed an interest in being included in the discussion. Dimensions now has an almost very rounded out looking board. I wonder if BBW will be the last ( wow and a sigh ) group standing. A comfy chair would be nice, and, appreciated.

[mergirl]

There is a public protected Fa forum? Or am i confused? If there is, and well even if there isn't, i think a bbw forum is a good idea.

[mossystate]

There is a public protected Fa forum? Or am i confused? If there is, and well even if there isn't, i think a bbw forum is a good idea.

* takes mer by her haggis, and shows her the frontpage *

:p

[mergirl]

OH!.. You know the weird thing is.. i think i actually have posted in there too..without even realising!!! Ok, i need to reduce these meds..:D
haha..madness..

[Ernest Nagel]

Bumping this thread.


I think the way the public/protected FA forum is set up, with the potential ' backroom ', would be the smartest way to go. More sensitive health issues could be taken private, while the general living and experiences as a BBW on the planet can be discussed for the benefit of all.

Just the being able to see the letters BBW...on the frontpage...would be a welcoming sight to fat women who are already here...and fat women who are searching for a place to tell their stories, without having to wade through ( if they even stick around, or try to find a sense of community on the other boards, which does not exactly speak to everything a woman needs ) the comments about their looks. Trust me... after a while, when you just want to be human every now and again, and not a Fat Woman, this sort of thing gets as tiresome as having people obsess about your body because they want you to lose weight. There is lots to learn from so many of the fat women on this board. Dims would be a progressive place for newcomers.


I would hope any proposal would not be too narrow in its focus. I know many of us have expressed an interest in being included in the discussion. Dimensions now has an almost very rounded out looking board. I wonder if BBW will be the last ( wow and a sigh ) group standing. A comfy chair would be nice, and, appreciated.

Amen, Mossy. Just based on who supports Dims with their participation I'd assert BBW are entitled to whatever consideration they desire. Skeeve-inducing asshattery aside a private space for women only hurts no one and potentially helps many. Why shouldn't they have somewhere they can find both solace and a safe place to share things about themselves? Any man who feels so concerned or threatened by the notion of women having a little privacy should go live naked in a fishbowl on Times Square for awhile. Just sayin'.

[mossystate]

Amen, Mossy. Just based on who supports Dims with their participation I'd assert BBW are entitled to whatever consideration they desire. Skeeve-inducing asshattery aside a private space for women only hurts no one and potentially helps many. Why shouldn't they have somewhere they can find both solace and a safe place to share things about themselves? Any man who feels so concerned or threatened by the notion of women having a little privacy should go live naked in a fishbowl on Times Square for awhile. Just sayin'.

Like I said, I am talking about a public space that is protected, with the possibility of a backroom for certain topics, probably concerning senstitive health concerns. I would hate to see a totally private BBW board, if that is what you think I was saying. Like with the FA forum, people need to learn from others. It's just that I don't want BBW to be viewed as the ultimate ' other ' that is not given equal consideration. A totally private board would be difficult to create, as there would be so much back and forth about what size/weight should be let in. People could lie about being a BBW...but...like with the FA forum, where a person could lie about being an FA, what they actually type would have to follow set guildlines.

[kayrae]

Here's my question: if Conrad decides to make a BBW board just like the newly opened FA/FFA board, what would be the point of the main board as well as the health board?

[mossystate]

Here's my question: if Conrad decides to make a BBW board just like the newly opened FA/FFA board, what would be the point of the main board as well as the health board?

Well, there are many things posted on the main board that have to do with general size acceptance issues. I see lots of threads concerning health studies...how fat is treated in media...etc..etc.. The health board has many threads that bring up general health issues, and, also, a thread like the diabetic discussion...it is not about gender or certain experiences surrounding preferences...etc.. Fat women have more to talk about than ' just ' physical health issues. I think those issues are where the focus is, and we might do better to see a bigger ( no pun intended ) picture.

[BothGunsBlazing]

I thought there was already a bbw discussion forum? :confused::confused:

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=56930

[mossystate]

Hey now...I am not allowed to go over to your new playground and be all silly and stuff.........tsk tsk.;)

But, you are right......that thread is a really good start! I don't know why I want anything else. You are magic, BGB.

[kayrae]

What you're saying makes sense, Mossy. I'm just trying to envision the larger scope, because I didn't really see the creation of the BBW board this way.

[Sandie S-R]

The thing is Kayrae - what happens, (if anything) may or may not be "your" vision. Ultimately what happens here is about Conrad's vision.

And any end result should take into consideration how this proposed BBW board would serve the community at large in the best possible way. It needs to "fit" the majority here. It needs to serve as many women as possible, not just some or a few.

BTW - we still have not seen a formal proposal for a BBW board of any kind.

[mossystate]

What you're saying makes sense, Mossy. I'm just trying to envision the larger scope, because I didn't really see the creation of the BBW board this way.

Yeah, I know, K. I do understand your initial desires, as having a need to discuss very private things can shift the focus. That is why I actually admire the way the FA forum has been set up. Seems like a sensitve way to go about things. More people get to feel included. Dimensions itself would be lifted higher, with a similar BBW forum. Like with most situations in life...when people have a place to more easily and fully express themselves, with less roadblocks...they then tend to feel energized in a more exciting manner. It can really open doors, for the individual...and those ' looking in '.

[kayrae]

There hasn't been one because I'm still working on it. I am in no rush creating a proposal without giving it the full thought it deserves. The FAs formulated theirs in a year. It would be rather lame to send one in just because the FAs got theirs. This isn't about one upping each other. And when I say that I'm trying to envision the large scope of this BBW board, I am more than aware that Conrad makes the final decision; however, I am the writer of the proposal. It would behoove me to have some kind of vision.

Because here's the kicker: if I don't share the same vision as the rest of the BBWs who wanted a board, it means that I step down and have someone else write it.

And I'm not saying this with malice. What Mossy is suggesting makes sense. The current set-up of the FA/FFA board seems like a great idea. I am merely looking at how a creation of the BBW board following this set-up will affect the current main board as well as the health board. Because maybe all I wanted all along is a private health board. This is my own wishes. And perhaps what I want fits into this "back room" idea only. But if this is where we're heading, the proposal I've created in my head has completely changed.

I think about Dimensions all the time. Living in San Francisco, the second skinniest city in the nation next to Marin, I don't have the same kind of access to fat women that others do. And as someone who feels like I'm creating a small BBW/FA community in SF, I know personally how Dimensions has played a huge role in my own personal size acceptance. So I guess what I'm saying is this: I care a lot about how this board will be created. And I don't want to rush the idea just because an FA board already opened up.

[Ernest Nagel]

Like I said, I am talking about a public space that is protected, with the possibility of a backroom for certain topics, probably concerning senstitive health concerns. I would hate to see a totally private BBW board, if that is what you think I was saying. Like with the FA forum, people need to learn from others. It's just that I don't want BBW to be viewed as the ultimate ' other ' that is not given equal consideration. A totally private board would be difficult to create, as there would be so much back and forth about what size/weight should be let in. People could lie about being a BBW...but...like with the FA forum, where a person could lie about being an FA, what they actually type would have to follow set guildlines.

Since primarily women are involved I just assumed it would be an iterative, collaborative process that will evolve something that works well for as many as possible. There are so many brilliant and innovative women here I'd never presume to know what the final product will look like but I'm sure it will be great. I think it would be smart to look at what can be learned from the experience of those who use the SSBBW board but Conrad's authority notwithstanding I think you ladies deserve a blank slate to work from. :bow:

[jupiter]

I would love it if there was a women only board.

[James]

Just a quick note on the FA/FFA backroom being discussed... It doesn't exist yet may potentially never exist if no-one demonstrates the demand for it explicitly... Given time, I expect many new or confused FAs will request it as a resource though..

[Fascinita]

Here's my question: if Conrad decides to make a BBW board just like the newly opened FA/FFA board, what would be the point of the main board as well as the health board?

I don't think the Main Board qualifies as a BBW board. Nor does the Health Board. Both of those are places where any and all perspectives are represented. Like Mossy, I think that at this point, given the direction that Dimensions has taken with the recent addition of new boards that serve sectors of our community, BBWs could use a place to call their own around here, if only for morale's sake.

More importantly, a BBW board could act as a place where we gather and discuss issues of our identities, as well as address more practical BBW-speficic issues. There are a number of these issues that do not pertain to health necessarily and which continue to challenge and define us as BBWs specifically. Mossy's touched on some of those and I like the idea of a safe haven where we're being social and supportive of one another as BBWs.

For reasons similar to those listed by the FAs as they lobbied for a board, BBWs could now use a central forum where all things BBW were discusssed. The rest of the boards can serve the needs-at-large of the diverse community and act as places where we, everyone--no matter our denomination--come together to socialize and have fun, as well as to learn from one another and discuss issues that affect us all equally. It's simply become clear that we don't feel entirely comfortable enough with one another to say that FAs/SSBBWs/GLBT/BHM/BBWs/etc should be content with discussing each group's respective issues in the main forums.

Personally, I'd like to be able to discuss a range of issues that I continue to hope will find greater traction at Dimensions--mostly having to do with my experiences as a fat woman specifically in a culture that can tend to make both being fat and being a woman challenging propositions. But the kind of discussion I've hoped for has seldom materialized in the 1.5 years I have spent as a member here--not nearly to the extent I'd wish. There are many ways to find community and to express our love and respect for fat around here, and there are ways to feel good about being a BBW by "getting in touch with our sexy," but not nearly enough discussions (for example) about what it's like to feel conflicted that fat should have such a high standing in our online community, that it should be so easy to feel admired here, while in our real-world lives we BBWs may not see nearly the same pro-fat gains in attitude from the world around us, in the dating arena, for instance--it's a great irony that we continue to come here for community and social opportunities precisely because the real world does not offer that to us as fat women. As well, not all of us find the type of socializing and discussion that takes place on the boards entirely enough. There are times when I'd like to discuss what it's like to be a fat woman without having to hear that I need more confidence or other misguided comments, for instance.

These and many other issues that are specific to BBWs are just begging for a forum. And it looks like identity-based boards are the vehicle of choice for addressing this type of need at Dimensions at this point. For these reasons, I'm open to the idea of a BBW board that is about more than health issues. In fact, I think there's more of a need to serve BBW-identity-based discussions at Dimensions at this time, than any other type of issue that impacts BBWs.

I'll throw my hat into the public ring as someone who's willing to help in making a BBW board happen that serves a range of BBW-specific issues.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Like I said, I am talking about a public space that is protected, with the possibility of a backroom for certain topics, probably concerning senstitive health concerns. I would hate to see a totally private BBW board, if that is what you think I was saying. Like with the FA forum, people need to learn from others. It's just that I don't want BBW to be viewed as the ultimate ' other ' that is not given equal consideration. A totally private board would be difficult to create, as there would be so much back and forth about what size/weight should be let in. People could lie about being a BBW...but...like with the FA forum, where a person could lie about being an FA, what they actually type would have to follow set guildlines.

I like how the FA/FFA board is open....with the option to be private. I want a private place for health issues...but don't care to openly discuss other things publically.

[exile in thighville]

"protected"

[Green Eyed Fairy]

"protected"

Protected is good...however, there are just some things some people are not going to let just anyone see them discuss. Protected just means shut up...not that it cannot be read and discussed with....or even mocked/ridiculed...in private.

[kayrae]

Help! I don't really know how to write this anymore.

[exile in thighville]

Protected is good...however, there are just some things some people are not going to let just anyone see them discuss. Protected just means shut up...not that it cannot be read and discussed with....or even mocked/ridiculed...in private.

i believe the term is "moderated."

[Green Eyed Fairy]

i believe the term is "moderated."

I'm not clear on how "moderated" would make posting private issues in the open better...... :blink:

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Help! I don't really know how to write this anymore.


You mentioned having some ideas from PMs....why not PM me some ideas/guidelines? I am a writer and so is Fascinita. I don't know if you have already contacted her on this matter but if you haven't, I will be happy to do so :)

[Violet_Beauregard]

I have to say I agree with these points. I have no problem with the SSBBW having their own forum. But I think a "smaller" BBW forum could be quite useful, for exactly the type of reasons that GEF has pointed out.

Others have questioned how to determine the "size" of one to "belong" to the forum. There are size factors that have to be met for the SSBBW, are there not? I'm sure something could be determined for a "smaller BBW" forum.

Great thoughts GEF... well said...


I actually concur....and feel like the input from SSBBW could as valuable as input from other women in general. It's just that we DO NOT have a safe haven like our bigger counter parts do. THAT is the issue....not that YOU shouldn't have one but rather that we DO NOT have one. Or that is how I see it anyway.


I have trouble, at 280 lbs, with some reach or discomfort due to my shape. It would be nice if others my size, or bigger, could share their input at tackling these type of problems.

I'm "only" 280 but I still have things happen to me, is my point.

Once again, I'm not "put out" about a SSBBW board......I just feel "left out".

[Sandie S-R]

Ladies, I think this has been said before (by AM maybe), but it bears saying again. Just write up a simple proposal. This doesn't have to be lengthy, and you do not need to work out the logistics. Just state your proposal for a board, with a straight forward explanation of why you feel the board is needed. That's it. Then the moderators and Conrad will work out the details if Conrad approves it.

If you need any help, PM me.

Sandie
Moderator

[kayrae]

Thanks to everyone who PM'd me. I promise I will get back to you. I've just been a little busy. I will keep you updated sometime this week.

[kayrae]

BGB pointed that succubus_dxb's poll, Average Weight of Dims BBW Ladies (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=58181), shows that there are a lot of women on Dimensions that weigh below 350 lbs., which strengthens the part in our proposal that's requesting for a back room.

[Sandie S-R]

BGB pointed that succubus_dxb's poll, Average Weight of Dims BBW Ladies (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=58181), shows that there are a lot of women on Dimensions that weigh below 350 lbs., which strengthens the part in our proposal that's requesting for a back room.



To the best of my knowledge we have not seen a proposal as yet??

[mossystate]

A proposal has been presented.

[BigBawdyDame]

I think this is a bad move. All its doing is reinforcing social cliques and throwing up new social boundries and fences, something I thought Dimensions was tearing down.

Having closed boards is nothing but bad news for everyone involved.

I agree 100%.

[Fascinita]

To the best of my knowledge we have not seen a proposal as yet??

We've submitted a proposal to Conrad.

Positive thoughts, everyone. :) Let's have 'em!

Meanwhile, let's all enjoy a little Beatles (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5b2tbIr1e8). I love this song and right now I'm thinking of Prudence as a BBW with a forum of her own (as Virginia Woolf might say.)

[butch]

We've submitted a proposal to Conrad.

Positive thoughts, everyone. :) Let's have 'em!

Meanwhile, let's all enjoy a little Beatles (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5b2tbIr1e8). I love this song and right now I'm thinking of Prudence as a BBW with a forum of her own (as Virginia Woolf might say.)

I want to rep you for the Woolf reference, but the system won't let me. Boo Hoo. Oh, did you hear the lastest gossip? Chloe likes Olivia. ;)

[Fascinita]

Chloe likes Olivia. ;)

Wouldn't it be great if we were able to post pics please K thanks bye on a BBW forum and the GLBTQ forum? :smitten:

[collared Princess]

I had no idea there were private boards.

Also, I'm sure this would open the debate up as to when BBW becomes SSBBW.

yeah..and just where are these boards that ssbbw's go??
I feel unloved..well I guess Iam unloved..oh but where are they still ?

[Sugar]

yeah..and just where are these boards that ssbbw's go??
I feel unloved..well I guess Iam unloved..oh but where are they still ?

There is a private SSBBW board that unless you're a member you can't see it. Stop feeling unloved and contact an Op about it.

[mergirl]

See, i think this is funny because if you are eligable to join the secret ssbbw board you have to contact a mod (hu..i always thought op ment origional post/er!!? i could cry!!) but if its secret, how would you know about it. My gf is a ssbbw (i actually fucking HATE that term to describe people) and no one told her.. actually the first i had even heard about it was when someone told me they go on that when i was chatting to them on msngr a few months ago. Maby when people say they are a ssbbw, after however many posts, provisions of proof etc they should be contacted by a mod and told about it.
See, i think everyone knows that collared princess is a ssbbw..so why doesnt she know there is a private ssbbw board? Should it really be THAT much of a palava for bigger bbws to find/join this forum?

[CurvyEm]

There was like a 6 billion page long thread about it.

[mergirl]

When? Where?
Maby it should be a sticky cause a lot of bigger bbws apparently dont know about this special room.
Hmm..Not sure if i feel awake enough to read a 6 billion page long thred! lmao.. Maby we should start another one and when it gets to 6 million posts start another one!! :D

[thatgirl08]

I don't qualify really as a SSBBW but I was here for over a year before realizing such a board exisisted so I agree Mergirl.

[mszwebs]

When? Where?
Maby it should be a sticky cause a lot of bigger bbws apparently dont know about this special room.
Hmm..Not sure if i feel awake enough to read a 6 billion page long thred! lmao.. Maby we should start another one and when it gets to 6 million posts start another one!! :D

Lisa,

The initial participants of the SSBBW forum were ladies that participated in a thread, and forgive me if I don't link it because I'm on my phone, about being over 450 lbs.

That thread disappeared during the creation of the new board, causing uproar, and a *where's the 450??* thread sprung up in its place.

When the board opened, in the 450 thread, it was stated that for membership, you needed to contact a mod, who at that point was solely BigBeautifulMe. Whe you expressed interest, she told you of the posting requirements, etc. To be a board member.

At the beginning, the board included SS...allies, I hues you would say. Partners, friends, and women who had participated in the original thread.

As time passed, the entrance requirements were changed to stipulate that if you were not SS, due to the potential nature of the discussion, you could not participate in the board. Please note this was not an arbitrary decision and caused drama, the effects of which are still between members of this forum today.

The rules WERE changed, and 2 additional Mods were added to the board to help with that process.

I think that it is slightly unrealistic to ask that the mods chase down everyone who is SS and has the required number of posts, but perhaps a bit more advertizing might be in line. It's not a SECRET board, its a PRIVATE one.

Its just that the nature of that privacy prevents discussion of the topics outside, making discussion of the board in general kind of hard.

Perhaps a sticky somewhere would be good, with board information and access requirements. That way it is solely the posters responsibility to get information about joining, and no one can say otherwise.
I hope this makes sense. I'll come back and add to it when I actually wake up in a few hours, if it doesn't lol.

[mergirl]

yeah.. i think a sticky would be good. You are right, that its probably a bit unrealistic for mods to be chasing up women who they suspect to be SS. I know that many women dont even advertise how much they weigh and would be uncomfortable doing so in a public forum anyway. Anyway..its just something i noticed, that a few 'ssbbw's' had said they would like a forum, when there actually is one in existance. Anyway, not meaning to derail the smaller bbws thread.. hmm i wonder how the proposal is going?? any news? What has actually been proposed?

[marina82]

can someone explain to me more about the SSBBW board that exists as a private board? How does one become a member of that board? I am an SSBBW and sometimes I have issues/questions I would rather speak to them about. Any information would be great. Thanks.

Marina

When I started the FA board thread (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=55145), I had an inkling that the topic was going to raise some ire from those who are against the creation of one. However, I didn't realize that within a handful of days, the discussion was going to reach 24 pages and over 8,000 views.

This thread is not about the FFA/FA board. I want to discuss the creation of a private BBW board. The FFA/FAs who contributed to that proposal obviously have strong feelings about creating a private space for themselves, and I respect that need.

What I want is a private place similar to what the FAs are asking for, a place where I can discuss my health issues in privacy. The SSBBWs already have that space. It has been explained to me that this private SSBBW board excludes men because the women do not want their discomfort to become wank fodder. Completely understandable. More so, smaller BBWs are excluded from this board because SSBBWs do not want their struggles to become a cautionary tale. Furthermore, some SSBBWs feel that smaller BBWs are condescending and can't possibly understand what they're going through because these BBWs have not reached that particular weight. Fair enough. This thread is not about giving smaller BBWS access to the private SSBBW board.

What I really want is a private space, which excludes men. I'm open to having SSBBWs AND FFAs reading about my potentially embarrassing health issues, but I don't want any men reading it at all. Obviously, SSBBWs can relate to our health issues because they were once smaller and FFAs because I highly doubt they'll be wanking off. I also want a place where I can discuss my self-esteem issues and completely come out of the BBW/BHM closet (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=55107). Quite frankly, I am so sick of reading about the "ideal" BBW: self-confident! pear shape! blahlblahblah! For the record, I'm comfortable posting about fat self-esteem issues on the main board; however, my self-esteem issues is beyond fat and has a lot to do with incest, rape, and generally sexual abuse perpetrated by men... hence, my desire for privacy. Maybe a protected sub-forum is a more appropriate place for that since I'm open to discussing this particular topic with you, DIMs; however, I'm uncomfortable with allowing the general public to read my thoughts on this.

Here's where I need your input:

Smaller BBWs, do you want a private board? If yes, who gets access? Would you like to allow SSBBWs or FFAs? Or are you more interested in a protected space like the Weight Gain Board? What kind of issues do you think needs to be discussed in privacy?

[Tau]

Why would there be a need to have a BBW board and a SSBBW board? I'd always thought when it came to the fat movement and fat women we could all speak from a similar context and learn from each other and draw strength from each other. Why the necessity for division? Also, how do you know for sure if you're super sized. I consider myself super size. I weigh 111kgs and am under 1,5m tall - I think its something like 4feet11inches. My height weight proportion means that although that figure isnt as big as what other SSBBW's are at it makes me super size anyway. What would I get from being on that board thats different than what I'm getting now?

[mszwebs]

Why would there be a need to have a BBW board and a SSBBW board? I'd always thought when it came to the fat movement and fat women we could all speak from a similar context and learn from each other and draw strength from each other. Why the necessity for division? Also, how do you know for sure if you're super sized. I consider myself super size. I weigh 111kgs and am under 1,5m tall - I think its something like 4feet11inches. My height weight proportion means that although that figure isnt as big as what other SSBBW's are at it makes me super size anyway. What would I get from being on that board thats different than what I'm getting now?

As I'm sure that the mods will point out... the existence of the SS board isn't up for discussion.

However, basically what you get on the board is frank discussion of issues that affect the supersized women of this board in a setting where only those affected by similar issues can read and respond.

If you have questions, feel free to PM BigBeautifulMe, SoVerySoft or Sandie S-R. They are the Mods of the Supersize Issues forum.

[Tau]

Aha! I wasn't aware it already existed! Slowly making my way through this thread right now. Thanks for response

[Weeze]

OK. So.
Even if there isn't a Private BBW BOARD can there be a private bbw THREAD for like, a few days? because I have a potentially icky girl-only question and it's like.. freakin me out, but there's no way in hell i'm posting it for EVERYONE to see. SO.
Yes.
Please?

[JerseyGirl07093]

OK. So.
Even if there isn't a Private BBW BOARD can there be a private bbw THREAD for like, a few days? because I have a potentially icky girl-only question and it's like.. freakin me out, but there's no way in hell i'm posting it for EVERYONE to see. SO.
Yes.
Please?

This is the exact reason we need a private BBW board. I think it would be invaluable to the women on here. :bow:

[Green Eyed Fairy]

OK. So.
Even if there isn't a Private BBW BOARD can there be a private bbw THREAD for like, a few days? because I have a potentially icky girl-only question and it's like.. freakin me out, but there's no way in hell i'm posting it for EVERYONE to see. SO.
Yes.
Please?

This is the exact reason we need a private BBW board. I think it would be invaluable to the women on here. :bow:
We have sent in a proposal to Conrad some time ago, asking for the BBW board to be modeled after the FFA board with the option for "a private back room" in the future.

I think it being open for the new people to find will be invaluable, as well. I don't like the idea of new people not being able to participate solely because they are not aware of it.


If anyone has any inquiries about the proposal we sent, please PM me :)

[katherine22]

We have sent in a proposal to Conrad some time ago, asking for the BBW board to be modeled after the FFA board with the option for "a private back room" in the future.

I think it being open for the new people to find will be invaluable, as well. I don't like the idea of new people not being able to participate solely because they are not aware of it.


If anyone has any inquiries about the proposal we sent, please PM me :)

Although a woman's board would be invaluable, I am against predicating it on weight requirements. It saddens me that an SSBBW and a BBW would think that they lack a shared experience. Women come up against self-esteem issues at every point in their development, and it is good to hear from all perspectives. Secret back rooms only contribute to stigma and render one's status as freakish or surreal requiring exclusivity.

[olwen]

Although a woman's board would be invaluable, I am against predicating it on weight requirements. It saddens me that an SSBBW and a BBW would think that they lack a shared experience. Women come up against self-esteem issues at every point in their development, and it is good to hear from all perspectives. Secret back rooms only contribute to stigma and render one's status as freakish or surreal requiring exclusivity.

It isn't about fair or not fair, or ghettoizing or anything like that. It's about necessity. Plain and simple. They needed a board for several good reasons, some of which had nothing to do with self esteem. Obviously, we all have similarities as fat folks, but like it or not there are differences. If you or anybody else who's questioning the board doesn't understand what those differences are I don't know what to tell you. That's just the way it is. It frankly upsets me that so many people don't understand the need for it, and I'm not even part of that board.

A proposal was submitted for a bbw only board that will include all sizes. As far as I know we're all still waiting to hear about whether it was rejected or accepted.

[mszwebs]

It isn't about fair or not fair, or ghettoizing or anything like that. It's about necessity. Plain and simple. They needed a board for several good reasons, some of which had nothing to do with self esteem. Obviously, we all have similarities as fat folks, but like it or not there are differences. If you or anybody else who's questioning the board doesn't understand what those differences are I don't know what to tell you. That's just the way it is. It frankly upsets me that so many people don't understand the need for it, and I'm not even part of that board.



THANK YOU. :)

And for anyone who is interested, some of those reasons are clearly outlined within this thread, where we've had to defend a board that has been existence for quite some time. And I'm sure as people aren't reading read those posts, or are missing them somehow...we'll have to do it again.

[Fascinita]

A proposal was submitted for a bbw only board that will include all sizes. As far as I know we're all still waiting to hear about whether it was rejected or accepted.

Yes! The proposal requests a public BBW Forum that is for BBWs of all sizes. The possible "private back room" addition to that forum is envisioned as a place where BBWs who desire to discuss certain issues privately--that is, among BBWs only--can do so.

The forum is envisioned as a place where women who identify as BBWs can meet to discuss--in a moderated, protected environment (as is the FA/FFA Forum, for example)--issues that affect them as BBWs, and their authentic experiences as such.

Katherine, if you'd like to know anything about the proposal, PM either Green Eyed Fairy or myself. :)

[Hathor]

I didn't read through 18 pages of replies. Sorry....but...

How can you create a board like that for certain sized BBWs? Where does the line get drawn for who is a BBW vs a SSBBW?

In an older thread months ago people said anywhere from 300-400 was the line separating BBWs from SSBBWs.

I think keeping two separate protected sub forums for women and men would be helpful regardless if they are admirers or fat themselves, but keeping a board separate for the smaller BBW is kind of beside the point considering that people don't agree on the weight that separates BBWs from SSBBWs.

[mszwebs]

I didn't read through 18 pages of replies. Sorry....but...

How can you create a board like that for certain sized BBWs? Where does the line get drawn for who is a BBW vs a SSBBW?

In an older thread months ago people said anywhere from 300-400 was the line separating BBWs from SSBBWs.

I think keeping two separate protected sub forums for women and men would be helpful regardless if they are admirers or fat themselves, but keeping a board separate for the smaller BBW is kind of beside the point considering that people don't agree on the weight that separates BBWs from SSBBWs.

AGAIN.

The SSBBW board is not up for debate, as it has existed for quite some time.



If you would like information on the requirements or find you do not meet the requirements, you may petition the board mods for entry. (Sandie S-R, SoVerySoft and BigBeautifulMe)

The proposal that was submitted was for a BBW board, not a BBW board for everyone that doesn't demonstrate need for the SSBBW board.

The SSBBW board's existence is NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION.

[mossystate]

It would be a board to discuss issues important to living in this world as a fat woman.

As you can see, Dimensions has a forum for fa's. We want the same protected area, not a private one. It would not matter the actual weight of the fat woman. As long as the experiences and words of the women were respected, and it did not end up being another place for women to be dismissed ( like the fa's enjoy on their forum ).....all are welcome. As has been stated, we are waiting.


Let's keep the discussion about bbw. It is not fair to the ssbbw, OR, the bbw, to warm up a dead debate.

[kayrae]

I am so tired having to defend a need for a private board especially when PEOPLE DON'T READ. There's already an FA/FFA board and look what kind of new discussions have sprung up.

[Fascinita]

I am so tired having to defend a need for a private board especially when PEOPLE DON'T READ. There's already an FA/FFA board and look what kind of new discussions have sprung up.

Just for clarity's sake, K, the FA/FFA board now is not private, though. It's protected/moderated and public.

The proposal requests a protected/moderated BBW Forum just like the FA/FFA Forum, with the optional addition of a sub-forum that would not be open to the public--this for the discussion of more sensitive issues that BBWs do not want to discuss in public.

Everyone: Please let's keep a positive, constructive spirit about this. I think we are all friends here and I am sure that by working together our efforts will pay off. I continue to feel optimistic about what our collective voices can accomplish. :)

[Fascinita]

It would be a board to discuss issues important to living in this world as a fat woman.

As you can see, Dimensions has a forum for fa's. We want the same protected area, not a private one. It would not matter the actual weight of the fat woman. As long as the experiences and words of the women were respected, and it did not end up being another place for women to be dismissed ( like the fa's enjoy on their forum ).....all are welcome. As has been stated, we are waiting.


Let's keep the discussion about bbw. It is not fair to the ssbbw, OR, the bbw, to warm up a dead debate.


If the day arrives when the BBW Forum comes to life, I will have the pleasure of slapping you on the back (virtually) and congratulating you as the brains behind the board. When it seemed no one else could see that far, you had the vision to see that a BBW Forum would be helpful to the fat women here, and you spoke for it tirelessly for weeks. I'm still all behind you on it and count on you for posts like this to help keep hope alive, as they say. :)

I think it'll be a beautiful thing, either way, when it's all said and done. But you... you are definitely something. :wubu:

[Green Eyed Fairy]

I will shut up now :p

[Webmaster]

A board will probably happen this week as per the proposal I received a while ago.

If the day arrives when the BBW Forum comes to life, I will have the pleasure of slapping you on the back (virtually) and congratulating you as the brains behind the board. When it seemed no one else could see that far, you had the vision to see that a BBW Forum would be helpful to the fat women here, and you spoke for it tirelessly for weeks. I'm still all behind you on it and count on you for posts like this to help keep hope alive, as they say. :)

I think it'll be a beautiful thing, either way, when it's all said and done. But you... you are definitely something. :wubu:

[Green Eyed Fairy]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvKDDf4A6X0


:bow: :D :wubu:

[Fascinita]

Seems like there is a board for everyone here.....except smaller BBWs. Am I missing anyone?

As far as gendered divisions are concerned, no... BBWs of all sizes could benefit from a protected public forum in many ways, but one of my favorite reasons is that it has the potential to raise the standing and visibility of fat women at Dimensions in a very public way.

As well, I like that it would bring all fat women together to discuss their lives as fat women... independent of other concerns. There's so much we can learn by talking to each other. Aside from issues specific to one particular group of fat women, I think there are many experiences that we BBWs have in common. And wouldn't it be great to explore and celebrate all of it.

Natasfan does not have his own board, btw. :p

[Green Eyed Fairy]

As far as gendered divisions are concerned, no... BBWs of all sizes could benefit from a protected public forum in many ways, but one of my favorite reasons is that it has the potential to raise the standing and visibility of fat women at Dimensions in a very public way.

As well, I like that it would bring all fat women together to discuss their lives as fat women... independent of other concerns. There's so much we can learn by talking to each other. Aside from issues specific to one particular group of fat women, I think there are many experiences that we BBWs have in common. And wouldn't it be great to explore and celebrate all of it.

Natasfan does not have his own board, btw. :p

You know I'm with you.....;)


Errrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm......I thought he had the paysite board? :p

[mossystate]

A board will probably happen this week as per the proposal I received a while ago.



Someone rep this man for me.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Someone rep this man for me.

Wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ahead of you Monique ;)


And he is the first man, since my father died, that has actually gotten me to shut up. That alone is worth some rep :p

[Fascinita]

A board will probably happen this week as per the proposal I received a while ago.

I'm throwing in a "thank you" song, as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO5qwNG4U18

:wubu: :bounce: :happy:

Someone rep this man for me.

I did the instant I saw his post. Tonight Conrad has rocked my world. :bow:

[mossystate]

I did the instant I saw his post. Tonight Conrad has rocked my world. :bow:


I wasted my rep the other night, when, after viewing the video of his speech, I asked him if he knew he had an accent. Perhaps I squander rep.

:D

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Oh hot dam
This is my jam
Keep me partyin till the AM
Ya'll don't understand
Make me throw my hands in the ayer, a-ayer, ayer, a-ayer



Ya'll don't understand......make me throw my hands in the ayer, ayer, ayer!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56l1OL4_sso

[Green Eyed Fairy]

I wasted my rep the other night, when, after viewing the video of his speech, I asked him if he knew he had an accent. Perhaps I squander rep.

:D

Shameless flirt, you are.......;) :p

[mossystate]

Shameless flirt, you are.......;) :p

You need to air out that part of your brain. :p

[Fascinita]

I wasted my rep the other night, when, after viewing the video of his speech, I asked him if he knew he had an accent. Perhaps I squander rep.

:D

I saw that video. Liked it. As I was listening, was wondering to myself if Conrad's comments about FAs listening to what was on fat people's minds didn't bode extremely well for the cause here. :D I takes my rose-colored glasses where I finds them. :happy:

Anyway, yay!

[Green Eyed Fairy]

You need to air out that part of your brain. :p

ti hi hi hi hi













!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mossystate]

If the day arrives when the BBW Forum comes to life, I will have the pleasure of slapping you on the back (virtually) and congratulating you as the brains behind the board. When it seemed no one else could see that far, you had the vision to see that a BBW Forum would be helpful to the fat women here, and you spoke for it tirelessly for weeks. I'm still all behind you on it and count on you for posts like this to help keep hope alive, as they say. :)

I think it'll be a beautiful thing, either way, when it's all said and done. But you... you are definitely something. :wubu:

Lots of women wanted this. I am just part pit bull. :happy:Woof.

[Fascinita]

Lots of women wanted this.

It's true. Many made amazing contributions to help shape the vision into something viable.

I am just part pit bull. :happy:Woof.

Oh, come here you cute pup, you.... :kiss2:

*tickles belly*

[mossystate]

Oh, come here you cute pup, you.... :kiss2:

*tickles belly*



Get that out of your system. There will be none of it on the new forum. :p


* gets on back *

[Green Eyed Fairy]

I'm not going to say what I want to do to Monique.......:wubu: :blush:

































!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[katherine22]

Never underestimate what a group of thoughtful fat "bitches" can accomplish. Yes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mossystate]

I'm not going to say what I want to do to Monique.......:wubu: :blush:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Please just say I won't be featured on an episode of Animal Cops Seattle.

* gulp *

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Please just say I won't be featured on an episode of Animal Cops Seattle.

* gulp *



Whatever we do.....it will only be seen on the underground.....:cool:

Though Fascie and Katherine are allowed to watch anytime.....:wubu: :p

[olwen]

A board will probably happen this week as per the proposal I received a while ago.

Yay! That's awesome! Thanks Conrad.

I have a bunch of thread topics that I've been saving for the board too. :)

[mergirl]

Yes! The proposal requests a public BBW Forum that is for BBWs of all sizes. The possible "private back room" addition to that forum is envisioned as a place where BBWs who desire to discuss certain issues privately--that is, among BBWs only--can do so.

The forum is envisioned as a place where women who identify as BBWs can meet to discuss--in a moderated, protected environment (as is the FA/FFA Forum, for example)--issues that affect them as BBWs, and their authentic experiences as such.

Katherine, if you'd like to know anything about the proposal, PM either Green Eyed Fairy or myself. :)
Hmm..I dont actually identify as a bbw but apparently from a medical perspective i am 'obese'. I wan't to be a part of this new board so i'm going to go with the medical perspective in this instance. I guess if its not a private board it will work kinna like the Fa board in some ways. Except that instead of people not being able to say "why arn't you out the closet" they can't say "Sorry to hear you feel sad but please post a pic of your belly"...
hmm.. on second thoughts..i'm not sure i'm going to participate in this board AT ALL.. but have fun! ;)

[mergirl]

Pish aside. This is great news! Well done everyone who pushed for this to happen. x :)

[Fascinita]

Hmm..I dont actually identify as a bbw but apparently from a medical perspective i am 'obese'. I wan't to be a part of this new board so i'm going to go with the medical perspective in this instance.

I think everyone who wants to will be able to contribute, though I expect that in a protected board, perspectives that are non-BBW-specific will be moderated--kinda like for FAs on the FA board now.

[D_A_Bunny]

Congratulations to us!! This is great news. Thank you Conrad!!

[Miss Vickie]

This is great news! Thanks to Conrad and everyone else who made it happen! I can't wait to participate.

[AshleyEileen]

I'm excited!

[Hathor]

AGAIN.

The SSBBW board is not up for debate, as it has existed for quite some time.

Then where is it?

[kayrae]

it's hidden. ask a mod.

[olwen]

it's hidden. ask a mod.

which mods?

[Green Eyed Fairy]

which mods?

Sandie S-R and BigBeautifulMe

[olwen]

Sandie S-R and BigBeautifulMe

Oh, I misunderstood Kayrae's previous post. I thought she meant the bbw board was hidden, but it's not up yet. Sorry bout that.

[D_A_Bunny]

Sandie S-R and BigBeautifulMe

and SoVerySoft

[Weeze]

It's there, it's there, it's there!

[Admiral_Snackbar]

Can't post yet, apparently.