FA - Do you consider yourself a good catch?

[CurvyEm]

I was just sat pondering this.

So many times in my life I've heard of people saying things like, 'Oh he only goes for fat chicks because he can get no better' or 'He goes for fat chicks because he's got low self esteme.'.

Frankly, that makes me feel pretty shitty but I was just thinking about how many FA I've spoken to online who are unemployed, unexperienced or any number of things considered as flaws in the dating world.

So do you consider yourself a good catch?

[missy_blue_eyez]

Sorry, I know this was/is a question for the FA's but I have to say, I have met and dated a handful of FA's mainly met through this site and none of them have been unemployed or anything like that, there dateability criteria has been good on paper, just a shame that the majority of them had some serious personal demons to deal with obviously havent a clue when it actually comes to women! Or had no idea about BBW women, it was all quite fetishistic to at least 2 of them I dated!

But I met my current beau and gotta say, he's a cracker! :) :)

[LoveBHMS]

Well to answer the question, no. I don't consider myself a good catch BUT that is seperate from being an FFA. (Assuming it's ok for FFA to answer this thread?)

If somebody dates fat people for any other reason that being an FA, then they're a jerk. If you say "Well i'm not attracted to BBW/BHM but I can't do any better", you are not an FA. You are just somebody who thinks that fatties can't get dates so you try to exploit them.

[johnnywonder]

I would consider myself a good catch... depending on what that meant...Have a thriving business/No demons/Don't do drama/ Know how to TREAT a woman/House with no morgtage/I know my way around the Dior Counter/Got a black belt in Clinque/Know about Lancome and there juicy tubes....x And that is just to start with....

[Still a Skye fan]

I have no idea if I'm a good catch: I've been steadily employed for the past 15+ years at a job which appears to suit me. I like the work and I actually use my two college degrees every day.

I'm straight. I don't have a criminal record. I don't have kids but I have many years of experience with them and like kids. I own my own house and keep a car on the road. I have many interests and things to talk about. I'm admittedly a bit shyer in person than I am online but I typically relax and open up when I get to know someone better. I've been called "sexy" by a long time good female friend.

No, I'm not good at meeting women. I was a major league nerd in a small, jock dominated high school so dating wasn't an option. Yes, high school did a number on my adult life (The many issues of my late Mom also helped) but I'm still trying and hopefully I'll meet the right girl someday.

Am I a good catch? I don't know but I hope I am to someone.


Dennis

[Tad]

I never really thought of it that way. That is, I always thought that what was great for some people would do nothing for others, and vice-versa.

Back in younger days I accepted that obviously I was never going to get the same amount of female attention as one of my friends who is tall, dark, handsome, came from a wealthy family, and in law school, nor even as many dates as another friend who just had that knack for approaching strangers and engaging them, and hence charmed an awful lot of women. But at the same time I figured that I had some things going for me that would appeal to at least some women, and that if I kept meeting women I'd meet some good potential matches sooner or later. But I knew that dating me was never going to put a gal up many notches on the social scale, which was fine by me because I didn't care for women who cared about that much.

These days, a lot older, a lot balder, and a fair bit heavier.....well, same logic applies, but I'd assume that the portion of women who would appreciate me would be smaller.

Fortunately, when all goes well, you only ever have to meet one that you match up with well, and I did that back in younger days, so it is not a burning concern for me anymore. Yes it would be a nice ego stroke to be considered a catch I guess, but I guess it is a bit like being fat: you may know that FA will like you, but that most of society won't consider you a catch.

[Blackjack]

'Oh he only goes for fat chicks because he can get no better'

This is absolutely true, but probably not in the way that the person who said it thinks.

As for me, I don't think that I'm a good catch, but that's completely unrelated to my being an FA and more related to my own personality stuff.

[BothGunsBlazing]

Not so much.

I did however, get an AMAZING belgium waffle maker recently. So, in that case, yes, if you love homemade waffles.

[LisaInNC]

I have no idea if I'm a good catch: I've been steadily employed for the past 15+ years at a job which appears to suit me. I like the work and I actually use my two college degrees every day.

I'm straight. I don't have a criminal record. I don't have kids but I have many years of experience with them and like kids. I own my own house and keep a car on the road. I have many interests and things to talk about. I'm admittedly a bit shyer in person than I am online but I typically relax and open up when I get to know someone better. I've been called "sexy" by a long time good female friend.

No, I'm not good at meeting women. I was a major league nerd in a small, jock dominated high school so dating wasn't an option. Yes, high school did a number on my adult life (The many issues of my late Mom also helped) but I'm still trying and hopefully I'll meet the right girl someday.

Am I a good catch? I don't know but I hope I am to someone.


Dennis

Looks like you are a good catch to me.. you had me at, "I have a job"

[Dr. Feelgood]

I may be a better catch than I realized: I was landed twenty-five years ago, and I haven't been thrown back yet.

[steely]

Not so much.

I did however, get an AMAZING belgium waffle maker recently. So, in that case, yes, if you love homemade waffles.

You've got my vote;)

[thatgirl08]

This is an interesting thread. To be honest, I've noticed the same thing. It's not that I have trouble meeting FA's.. it's that I have trouble meeting dateable FA's. I'm not sure if this is really FA-specific or not though. There's losers everywhere.

[DitzyBrunette]

I know my way around the Dior Counter/Got a black belt in Clinque/Know about Lancome and there juicy tubes....x And that is just to start with....

That wouldn't impress me at all. Why do you know that much about make up? And why so label conscious? Brands aren't impressive.

This is an interesting thread. To be honest, I've noticed the same thing. It's not that I have trouble meeting FA's.. it's that I have trouble meeting dateable FA's. I'm not sure if this is really FA-specific or not though. There's losers everywhere.

Word. Losers everywhere. I can't remember the last time I met a normal decent HONEST guy around here. Issues abound with the freaks in Jersey/NY.

Not so much.
I did however, get an AMAZING belgium waffle maker recently. So, in that case, yes, if you love homemade waffles.

I love Belgian waffles, there's no point in eating any other kind :smitten:

[aptx]

I might not be a good catch, but I'm a good shag ;)

[BothGunsBlazing]

Word. Losers everywhere. I can't remember the last time I met a normal decent HONEST guy around here. Issues abound with the freaks in Jersey/NY.

Originally Posted by BothGunsBlazing
Not so much.
I did however, get an AMAZING belgium waffle maker recently. So, in that case, yes, if you love homemade waffles.

I love Belgian waffles, there's no point in eating any other kind :smitten:

see, that didn't take too long, now did it?

[Victim]

After being together for 20 years, I hope so...

[Jon Blaze]

I consider myself ok. I've got perks and flaws.

I have a job. I have a car that I admit isn't particularly size friendly (I'll change it if need be). I have a cute little AA degree, and hope to go farther, so I can provide. :)

Personality- Ok again. I'm an introvert/extrovert mix, but I've been more of the former lately. I have my expressive bouts though.

Looks: Uhhh.... I'm fuckin' sexy.... :p

No, but seriously: I'm ok. Some good and bad on a general level I think.. :)

I consider my biggest flaw my dating experience (Or lack thereof). I consider myself extremely behind the power curve for someone going on 22. I'm never trying to rush things (Far from it), but I feel it hurts me sometimes. I admit that it's sometimes why I don't act on my emotions/perceptions at times.

Just like anyone else, however, these are just general dating/relationships perks and flaws. My rating :p doesn't change with sizes. I think I'm ok.

[Victim]

If I wasn't quite happily attached I'm not really sure how I'd stack up with the BBWs here. Not really something I need to think about.

I got the job, car, etc. but I'm a major geek. There are no shortage of geeky BHM out there to pick from. While a smaller girl can sometimes get a 2nd look from me, I got the FA gene or whatever pretty bad. It would be the major attractor, and that might not go over too well.

[Oirish]

I think I'm a good catch. I've got many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany:p. Seriously I think I'm a good catch. I've got a lot going on right now and I certainly don't have a predilection for BBWs because I can't get anyone else. I'm just graduating Uni with a BS in Viticulture and scheduled two interviews with top wineries. One is Kosta Browne, one of the top Pinot noir producers in America, and the other is Justin, who made a wine that was voted Best Wine in the World by a panel of judges in France back in '97. I also helped write an award-winning book on Pinot noir called "Pacific Pinot Producers". I'm well traveled and well read. I just so happen to be a damn fine cook as well. If anyone thinks that sounds like a catch feel free to PM me.

[Poncedeleon]

I think that the problems you're seeing are more of an internet thing than an FA thing. Talk to people in almost any other internet community and you'll see that a lot of them are unemployed and have problems.

I'm not sure if I'm a good catch or not. It's pretty subjective and it's not easy to honestly evaluate yourself like that.

[exile in thighville]

i'm pretty sure the reason i've gotten laid at all is the fault of other FAs.

[BothGunsBlazing]

i'm pretty sure the reason i've gotten laid at all is the fault of other FAs.

that pool is shallow, yo.

[mergirl]

Looks like you are a good catch to me.. you had me at, "I have a job"
hahahahahaha.. sorry..i wasnt expecting that!! I had a 'caught off guard lol' there!!:D

[mergirl]

As for the op question, you would have to ask GD.. though i intend hiding her laptop so she never ever does!!

[Cors]

I suppose you will find a higher than average percentage of unemployed people at online communities.

Well to answer the question, no. I don't consider myself a good catch BUT that is seperate from being an FFA. (Assuming it's ok for FFA to answer this thread?)

If somebody dates fat people for any other reason that being an FA, then they're a jerk. If you say "Well i'm not attracted to BBW/BHM but I can't do any better", you are not an FA. You are just somebody who thinks that fatties can't get dates so you try to exploit them.

I agree completely!


I'm straight. I don't have a criminal record. I don't have kids but I have many years of experience with them and like kids. I own my own house and keep a car on the road. I have many interests and things to talk about. I'm admittedly a bit shyer in person than I am online but I typically relax and open up when I get to know someone better. I've been called "sexy" by a long time good female friend.


What does being straight have to do with you being a good catch or not?

[Melian]

Em, I've heard this crap too about FAs/FFAs "settling" for fat partners and it's infuriating. I feel I'm a decent catch!

If you go down the "parents' wishlist," I'm:
- employed
- will have a doctorate in the next 1-2 years
- "conventionally attractive" (although I "ruin" it with my choice of clothing, supposedly)
- polite and well-spoken (when required, haha)
- maintain a clean and attractive condo
- can easily provide my partner with a comfortable lifestyle

Additionally, I'm extremely hygienic, entertaining (or so I'm told), loving and considerate of my partner's needs, honest, hard-working....and animals like me :p



And not into thin men.

[mergirl]

I suppose you will find a higher than average percentage of unemployed people at online communities.



I agree completely!



What does being straight have to do with you being a good catch or not?
I think he ment.. as in 'not with a drug or alcohol problem'...not hetrosexual.

[ladle]

I have a job
I have a house
I have a dog
I have height
I have a vege garden
I have a nice king size bed
I have an old brass WW2 Japanese mortar shell that my grandad gave me
I have an extensive alcohol collection
I have a flowering orchid in my lounge

Surely with the list above I am the ultimate catch?

Oh....did I mention I also have an UNCUT sheet of batman trading cards from the original Batman Movie from the 80's.

[Cors]

I think you're a great catch Melian! :kiss2:

I think he ment.. as in 'not with a drug or alcohol problem'...not hetrosexual.

Ah okay. It just caught my attention because many queer people like talking about how gay they are ("I'm a Gold Star Lesbian Who Never Liked Or Touched Guys") to make themselves a little more attractive for whatever reason. I wonder if bisexual men are less desired by straight women.

[Melian]

I think you're a great catch Melian! :kiss2:



Says the best catch of all (I've seen your pink dress) ;)

[mergirl]

I think you're a great catch Melian! :kiss2:



Ah okay. It just caught my attention because many queer people like talking about how gay they are ("I'm a Gold Star Lesbian Who Never Liked Or Touched Guys") to make themselves a little more attractive for whatever reason. I wonder if bisexual men are less desired by straight women.
ahhh.. i see.. I think we both hang out is really different gay circles! lol.
I really dont know any gold star lesbians.. even my most lezzer friend..(that you chattered to) has still slept with a guy..hmm.. I'm not sure i know any gay women who havn't.
Hmm.. i dont know about bi-guys being less attractive to women.. though i have only met a VERY few bi-guys. For every 100 bi women i have met i recon i have met 1 bi guy.. seriously.. i have no idea why.. hmmmmmmm off to the lgbt board batgirl! :D

[Zandoz]

I have always thought, and most of my life history confirmed, no...not a good catch. But as of 12 years, 3 months, and 11 days ago, someone thought otherwise. <shrug>

[DitzyBrunette]

see, that didn't take too long, now did it?

LOL, hold on ~ what about honest and normal?

[BothGunsBlazing]

LOL, hold on ~ what about honest and normal?

Not highlighting honest and normal was my attempt at honesty. ;)

[Gspoon]

I am a good catch if the catcher says I am worth the pitch :P. I cannot decide what I think of myself.

And when it comes to that 1st comment by Curvyem, I can't get any better than a BBW! BBWs are the best thing since life on earth! <3 <3 <3. I am also very open about my FA ness, and people know I date BBWs because I find them so attractive, and because they are so sweet :D.

I will always be an FA because I am attracted to them, sexually and otherwise, no question about it.

[ImSoDead]

My wife thinks so! :)

[furious styles]

*insert a one liner that i'm too lazy to think of atm*

uh but yeah, i'm pretty fly for an existentialist guy

[KnottyOne]

Pfft, please, my cockiness has been well documented on these boards haha. Personally, I don't think you can do much better, but thats just me haha

[BothGunsBlazing]

Pfft, please, my cockiness has been well documented on these boards haha. Personally, I don't think you can do much better, but thats just me haha

I am just interested in the fact that this post was edited, that it could possibly of been more cocky before you did that.

[KnottyOne]

I am just interested in the fact that this post was edited, that it could possibly of been more cocky before you did that.

No, totally read it wrong and wrote something wrong, the unedited post hovered somewhere around in the realm of the most epic of epic fails

[altered states]

...I know my way around the Dior Counter/Got a black belt in Clinque/Know about Lancome and there juicy tubes....x And that is just to start with....

You trying out for boyfriend or personal shopper?

[superodalisque]

You trying out for boyfriend or personal shopper?

i could kinda use a personal shopper;)

[superodalisque]

I have a job
I have a house
I have a dog
I have height
I have a vege garden
I have a nice king size bed
I have an old brass WW2 Japanese mortar shell that my grandad gave me
I have an extensive alcohol collection
I have a flowering orchid in my lounge

Surely with the list above I am the ultimate catch?

Oh....did I mention I also have an UNCUT sheet of batman trading cards from the original Batman Movie from the 80's.

the only thing you didn't mention was candy and a van dude;)

[ladle]

the only thing you didn't mention was candy and a van dude;)

Well unfortunately I have no van. I did have candy but it never last long around the house.
Strikes one and two...

[superodalisque]

Well unfortunately I have no van. I did have candy but it never last long around the house.
Strikes one and two...

you can't eat all of the candy and have the big girl. either practice self restraint or buy more candy.

[ladle]

you can't eat all of the candy and have the big girl. either practice self restraint or buy more candy.

STRIKE THREE
I'm out

I'm batting below .100 in the FA league

[superodalisque]

STRIKE THREE
I'm out

I'm batting below .100 in the FA league

they might take you in the minors if you try hard;)

[ladle]

Is the new Bat Boy for the Minor League Team : The Dimensions Boarders

[Slamaga]

To answer the thread question, I would say, I'm an FA only because I have prefrences like any other person in love, but one of these preferences is a curvy bbw.

[NoWayOut]

It doesn't matter what I think of myself. I'm not the one considering whether or not to date me.

[thatgirl08]

It doesn't matter what I think of myself. I'm not the one considering whether or not to date me.

What if prospective girls turn on is high self confidence?

[BeautifulPoeticDisaster]

I think my hubby is a GREAT catch with some baggage, but it is worth it to me. :) I don't think he would ever consider himself a great catch so I had to come on here and toot his horn.

He's....employed and has been for the past 7+ years with the same company.(and he's only 29!!) He is highly motivated about everything, always thinking positive. He's educated and working on his PhD is some crazy Physics Flyer Plate Optical blah blah that I don't understand. He is wicked smart and comes from good stock:) He's funny (sometimes, lol) He's very kind hearted, sensitive and fair. He can keep a level head even when someone is provoking him with dramas. He's honest and true.

He loves me with all of his heart. There isn't a day that goes by that I reflect on the fact that him and I ended up together. One minute he was my guy friend on the internet and the next we are married and buying houses. Craziness. Of course it didn't happen that fast, but it feels like it did.

Physically, he is tall, over 6ft. He's thinnish 198 with muscles cos he works out. I loved his body when he was 245 as well. :) He has adroable hazel/brown eyes. He has luscious full lips. He isn't a hairied chest beast:D And well...the rest is really good as well ;)


So yes, Mike is a good catch even if he would never say so.

[NoWayOut]

What if prospective girls turn on is high self confidence?

There's still about 3.2 billion other women in the world. I'm fine.

[lypeaches]

I think I'm a good catch. I've got many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany:p. Seriously I think I'm a good catch. I've got a lot going on right now and I certainly don't have a predilection for BBWs because I can't get anyone else. I'm just graduating Uni with a BS in Viticulture and scheduled two interviews with top wineries. One is Kosta Browne, one of the top Pinot noir producers in America, and the other is Justin, who made a wine that was voted Best Wine in the World by a panel of judges in France back in '97. I also helped write an award-winning book on Pinot noir called "Pacific Pinot Producers". I'm well traveled and well read. I just so happen to be a damn fine cook as well. If anyone thinks that sounds like a catch feel free to PM me.


I'm not looking, myself, but I'd agree. You forgot to mention that you live in San Luis Obispo, which is one of the most beautiful places in the US, in my opinion. :)

[mergirl]

I think my hubby is a GREAT catch with some baggage, but it is worth it to me. :) I don't think he would ever consider himself a great catch so I had to come on here and toot his horn.

He's....employed and has been for the past 7+ years with the same company.(and he's only 29!!) He is highly motivated about everything, always thinking positive. He's educated and working on his PhD is some crazy Physics Flyer Plate Optical blah blah that I don't understand. He is wicked smart and comes from good stock:) He's funny (sometimes, lol) He's very kind hearted, sensitive and fair. He can keep a level head even when someone is provoking him with dramas. He's honest and true.

He loves me with all of his heart. There isn't a day that goes by that I reflect on the fact that him and I ended up together. One minute he was my guy friend on the internet and the next we are married and buying houses. Craziness. Of course it didn't happen that fast, but it feels like it did.

Physically, he is tall, over 6ft. He's thinnish 198 with muscles cos he works out. I loved his body when he was 245 as well. :) He has adroable hazel/brown eyes. He has luscious full lips. He isn't a hairied chest beast:D And well...the rest is really good as well ;)


So yes, Mike is a good catch even if he would never say so.
See, thats just lovely of you. x :)

[KnottyOne]

What if prospective girls turn on is high self confidence?

How you doing ^_- haha

[Mini]

At this point in my life, no, I wouldn't say I am. Not responsible enough, don't have a car, broke, although I do work, etc..

As I've learned time and time again, being a nice guy just doesn't count for all that much.

[Cors]

At this point in my life, no, I wouldn't say I am. Not responsible enough, don't have a car, broke, although I do work, etc..

As I've learned time and time again, being a nice guy just doesn't count for all that much.

Aww. It is strange because I often hear women complaining about the lack of nice guys yet the same girls get bored by anyone who is remotely decent and throw themselves at jerks all the time.

[Victim]

Aww. It is strange because I often hear women complaining about the lack of nice guys yet the same girls get bored by anyone who is remotely decent and throw themselves at jerks all the time.

Well, you can't say the jerks are BORING...

[imfree]

I could call the waambulance and call myself a bad catch because
I'm physically disabled and draw less than $1000 per month. Now
that my oxygen needs are met and my blood sugars are being
worked on, my mind and spirit are stronger than ever. I can give
a gal plenty of love, tenderness, and comfort. A strong mind
overcomes physical limitations and I'm OK with it all.:bow:

[Mini]

Well, you can't say the jerks are BORING...

True, getting cheated on, beaten, abused and used is just so fuckin' EXCITING.

[blackghost75]

Yes!!!!! I very much consider myself a good catch;) I have an aa. degree and I'm currently work on my bs. In geography,I should finish up in the fall of this year:) Once I finish up with school I'm hopping to work in my career field. Right now I'm a grounds keeper on a golf course. I'm a very goal oriented person and I'm for looking a good woman who is the same;)

[Victim]

True, getting cheated on, beaten, abused and used is just so fuckin' EXCITING.


Quite true, so boring isn't so bad.

[JohnWylde]

Well Em it seems that your thread is becoming a little insulting to FAs in general!

I have never considered myself a good catch because that requires a degree of arrogance and that simply isnt me!

Having said that, I have enjoyed a successful career, have undertaken and completed advanced projects and spoken at national conferences on my career discipline.

I can also say that I do know how to treat a lady and I insist on holding hands in public. I have also found that ladies I know do seem to enjoy my company.

So can I refute the generalisation that FAs must be a sub standard sort of person?

John W

P.S. No one is perfect - are they!


I was just sat pondering this.

So many times in my life I've heard of people saying things like, 'Oh he only goes for fat chicks because he can get no better' or 'He goes for fat chicks because he's got low self esteme.'.

Frankly, that makes me feel pretty shitty but I was just thinking about how many FA I've spoken to online who are unemployed, unexperienced or any number of things considered as flaws in the dating world.

So do you consider yourself a good catch?

[AnnMarie]

Employed is ok and all (sure, having money and independence is good) but I don't consider that a "good catch" issue. Sometimes it's a student or someone between jobs (in this economy?? likely!) - and there are a ton of other attributes which make a guy, to me, a good catch.

Is he open, caring, and interesting? Does he listen and want to know who you are and what you're about? Does he make your toes curl when you kiss him? Does he make you laugh in a way that could cause liquids to shoot our your nose? Does he squeeze your hand just to let you know he's thinking about you while you're just sitting and not talking? Does he know what you drink and order one for you if the waiter comes while you're away from the table?

These are barely even scratching the surface on things I'd consider components in a good catch, and they're certainly not FA specific - just good, nice, compatible person for me. I can't take care of two people, but as long as you're responsible for you and have a way to see me - I don't need anything else from you.

Add in a love for fat-all-over green-eyed redheads?? Hmmm, now you're talking.

[ssbbwlover2]

I have not thought about it in those terms. I am a caring, sensitive, loving person with a unique style. Does that make me a good catch? That is a question for others to answer. I would like to think I am.

[kioewen]

So many times in my life I've heard of people saying things like, 'Oh he only goes for fat chicks because he can get no better' or 'He goes for fat chicks because he's got low self esteme.'.

Frankly, that makes me feel pretty shitty but I was just thinking about how many FA I've spoken to online who are unemployed, unexperienced or any number of things considered as flaws in the dating world.

The aforementioned result is true, but the proposed cause is not.

In other words, yes, many if not most FAs "are unemployed, unexperienced or any number of things considered as flaws in the dating world." But they do NOT "go for fat chicks because of low self esteem." No, fat chicks are their genuine preference, and so they pursue them.

But the types of guys who are well-employed, career-minded, experienced and so forth are intensely image conscious. Therefore, they avoid they girls they're actually attracted to (fat chicks), and instead pursue socially acceptable girls (thin girls).

You get to be successful in life because you embrace the norms, and for successful guys, picking a mate is just one aspect of life success.

I know. Sucks, eh?

[kioewen]

What if prospective girls turn on is high self confidence?

Then 99% of FAs are screwed (by which I mean, they have no shot).

[thatgirl08]

Then 99% of FAs are screwed (by which I mean, they have no shot).

Mhm. xxxxxxx

[kioewen]

To elaborate, I wonder if it has occurred to anyone (possibly it has) that the very qualities that make it possible for someone to be an FA make it hard for them to be datable.

To be an FA means having to have a sufficient degree of iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, etc. to believe that you're right, even when they rest of society is wrong (i.e., in what they insist "beautiful" to be).

It's like being a pagan in Medieval Europe, or a fascist in a modern liberal democracy. It's not easy. You're inevitably going to be a loner. You've got to be tough inside. Not necessarily in a heroic or manly way (if only). Just...tough.

Well, those qualities -- iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, loner-ness -- are basically death for relationships, aren't they? That's not exactly what women are looking for.

So like I said -- I suspect that FAs have a hard time being seen as datable by the opposite gender because of the very character traits that enable them to be FAs in the first place.

If they were better-adjusted (and therefore more agreeable datable types), they wouldn't be out as FAs.

[thatgirl08]

Ehhh I wouldn't say you need sturbornness or arrogance at all to be an FA. Just the ability to not be a pussy.

[BothGunsBlazing]

To elaborate, I wonder if it has occurred to anyone (possibly it has) that the very qualities that make it possible for someone to be an FA make it hard for them to be datable.

To be an FA means having to have a sufficient degree of iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, etc. to believe that you're right, even when they rest of society is wrong (i.e., in what they insist "beautiful" to be).

It's like being a pagan in Medieval Europe, or a fascist in a modern liberal democracy. It's not easy. You're inevitably going to be a loner. You've got to be tough inside. Not necessarily in a heroic or manly way (if only). Just...tough.

Well, those qualities -- iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, loner-ness -- are basically death for relationships, aren't they? That's not exactly what women are looking for.

So like I said -- I suspect that FAs have a hard time being seen as datable by the opposite gender because of the very character traits that enable them to be FAs in the first place.

If they were better-adjusted (and therefore more agreeable datable types), they wouldn't be out as FAs.

Just from reading this post my chances of landing a woman have gone down 93.879778%

[Blackjack]

Then 99% of FAs are screwed (by which I mean, they have no shot).

Yeah, we're all totally screwed, because you're projecting your own lack of self-confidence upon the rest of the community.

[MamaLisa]

I have a job
I have a house
I have a dog
I have height
I have a vege garden
I have a nice king size bed
I have an old brass WW2 Japanese mortar shell that my grandad gave me
I have an extensive alcohol collection
I have a flowering orchid in my lounge

Surely with the list above I am the ultimate catch?

Oh....did I mention I also have an UNCUT sheet of batman trading cards from the original Batman Movie from the 80's.

Sounds hot to me! :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

[kayrae]

I think FAs are very dateable and well-adjusted, at least the ones I've met irl. The ones I know aren't closeted about their preferences. I don't really pay attention to the undateable FAs, I guess. And I'm picky about who gets to spend time with me, so I wouldn't even bother being around disagreeable types. I'm having a problem with your generalizations.

To elaborate, I wonder if it has occurred to anyone (possibly it has) that the very qualities that make it possible for someone to be an FA make it hard for them to be datable.

To be an FA means having to have a sufficient degree of iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, etc. to believe that you're right, even when they rest of society is wrong (i.e., in what they insist "beautiful" to be).

It's like being a pagan in Medieval Europe, or a fascist in a modern liberal democracy. It's not easy. You're inevitably going to be a loner. You've got to be tough inside. Not necessarily in a heroic or manly way (if only). Just...tough.

Well, those qualities -- iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, loner-ness -- are basically death for relationships, aren't they? That's not exactly what women are looking for.

So like I said -- I suspect that FAs have a hard time being seen as datable by the opposite gender because of the very character traits that enable them to be FAs in the first place.

If they were better-adjusted (and therefore more agreeable datable types), they wouldn't be out as FAs.

[mergirl]

Yeah, we're all totally screwed, because you're projecting your own lack of self-confidence upon the rest of the community.
This is EXACTLY what i was thinking.

[exile in thighville]

To elaborate, I wonder if it has occurred to anyone (possibly it has) that the very qualities that make it possible for someone to be an FA make it hard for them to be datable.

To be an FA means having to have a sufficient degree of iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, etc. to believe that you're right, even when they rest of society is wrong (i.e., in what they insist "beautiful" to be).

It's like being a pagan in Medieval Europe, or a fascist in a modern liberal democracy. It's not easy. You're inevitably going to be a loner. You've got to be tough inside. Not necessarily in a heroic or manly way (if only). Just...tough.

Well, those qualities -- iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, loner-ness -- are basically death for relationships, aren't they? That's not exactly what women are looking for.

So like I said -- I suspect that FAs have a hard time being seen as datable by the opposite gender because of the very character traits that enable them to be FAs in the first place.

If they were better-adjusted (and therefore more agreeable datable types), they wouldn't be out as FAs.

you don't know what you're talking about at all. the only "loner-ness" required is the risk of alienating friends and sometimes family, something people do - by coming out with a same-sex partner, or a transgendered one, or even a different race partner still - regularly, en masse and often. that's a lot of "loners."

being an fa has nothing to do with "believing you're right," just believing you have the right.

the best-adjusted people in the world leave the closet behind. becoming comfortable with your sexuality is like the first step, dude. you're totally projecting your own fears and cynicism in hopes of regaling the masses, but you're wrong.

Then 99% of FAs are screwed (by which I mean, they have no shot).

99% of people with a post count of 66 probably don't know dick about 99% of FAs

[Fascinita]

the only "loner-ness" required is the risk of alienating friends and sometimes family, something people do - by coming out with a same-sex partner, or a transgendered one, or even a different race partner still - regularly, en masse and often. that's a lot of "loners."

...

the best-adjusted people in the world leave the closet behind. ...


Hear, hear! The least that can be said is that if we're not for ourselves and the people we claim to love, who will be?

Down with the closet!

[GregW]

My wife thinks I'm a good catch - and I think she's a good catch.

[imfree]

My wife thinks I'm a good catch - and I think she's a good catch.

That's all that counts, your Rep is in the mail.

[LoveBHMS]

To elaborate, I wonder if it has occurred to anyone (possibly it has) that the very qualities that make it possible for someone to be an FA make it hard for them to be datable.

No. There are no qualities that make in possible to be an FA, it's just a sexual preference.

To be an FA means having to have a sufficient degree of iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, etc. to believe that you're right, even when they rest of society is wrong (i.e., in what they insist "beautiful" to be).

There is no right or wrong, it's just a preference. If you like skinny people, poets, big dumb jock types, or redheads---it doesn't make you right while the people who like fatties, intellectuals, or blondes are wrong. I don't think society is wrong for not being FFAs.

It's like being a pagan in Medieval Europe, or a fascist in a modern liberal democracy. It's not easy. You're inevitably going to be a loner. You've got to be tough inside. Not necessarily in a heroic or manly way (if only). Just...tough.

Seriously? Wow...I thought I just liked fat guys...I never compared myself with being a pagan in Medieval Europe.

Well, those qualities -- iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, loner-ness -- are basically death for relationships, aren't they? That's not exactly what women are looking for.

So like I said -- I suspect that FAs have a hard time being seen as datable by the opposite gender because of the very character traits that enable them to be FAs in the first place.

If they were better-adjusted (and therefore more agreeable datable types), they wouldn't be out as FAs.

Man it's like I can't stop finding shit WRONG with your post. If being out as an FA/FFA is so hard, than wouldn't it take somebody who was independent, free thinking, and maybe even super articulate so s/he could explain having a unique preference?

A while back I dated a MILFHunter (guy with a sexual preference for older women.) He was totally open about his preferences. At best he'd get a mild teasing here and there, but for the most part, other people's sexual preferences are just not that interesting. However, it is true he was going against the grain in his preference, and his ability to do that with great ease (in other words, to just accept teasing good naturedly and to say "yeah...I just prefer that") came from being more self confident and socially adjusted so his comfort with himself and his preferences projected onto how others viewed him.

[altered states]

Just from reading this post my chances of landing a woman have gone down 93.879778%

You've still got the fascist in a modern liberal democracy thing going for you, though.

[altered states]

Broke, weak, boring, ugly, superficial, baggage-laden men are what single thin women bitch about as well, in my experience.

Also, can we settle once and for all whether the term FA is a merit badge for right behavior, or just a description of a person who finds fat people attractive? Most of the argument here is actually about that, and not whether FAs are inherently misfit toys.

[OzGuy]

Well I got "caught" quite a few years ago. I haven't been available for a long time now, but if I was I like to think that I would be a good catch.;)

[Webmaster]

I don't think there's a universal answer for your questions.

Personally, I am not a subscriber to the theory that men go for fat women because of the reasons you mentioned. Absolutely not. To me, fat women have always been goddesses, the one type that I admired and desired, always.

Are there some sub-optimal FAs? Certainly, but there are a lot of sub-optimal guys with other tastes in women out there.

Do I personally consider myself a good catch? Overall probably yes. I've accomplished a thing or two in life, but there are also things that I deeply regret or could have done better or differently had I a chance to do them over.

I was just sat pondering this.

So many times in my life I've heard of people saying things like, 'Oh he only goes for fat chicks because he can get no better' or 'He goes for fat chicks because he's got low self esteme.'.

Frankly, that makes me feel pretty shitty but I was just thinking about how many FA I've spoken to online who are unemployed, unexperienced or any number of things considered as flaws in the dating world.

So do you consider yourself a good catch?

[pjbbwlvr]

I know I'm a good catch! I am a FA because of choice not because of a lack of opportunities. To me there is nothing more attractive than a big beautiful woman and even more I love the personalties that all big and very beautiful ladies posess!

[exile in thighville]

you don't really have a choice but to consider yourself a good catch...it's all you've got. so saith my elementary school guidance counselor: "you have to be your own cheerleader"

i'm not a great catch by any means but that's only forced me to become a more challenging salesperson.

[ladle]

Sounds hot to me! :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

You know you only want me for my mortar shell!

[Maxx Awesome]

Of course, I'm an excellent catch. But, y'know, Hitler had a girlfriend & I don't want to be compared to that guy...

[CCC]

many FA I've spoken to online who are unemployed, unexperienced or any number of things considered as flaws in the dating world.


If those are the criteria, then I must be a terrible catch, considering I'm in college (not technically unemployed, because to be officially unemployed, one must be actively looking for work. But yes, I'm unemployed in the traditional sense), and only 19.

Realistically though, there's nothing particularly odd or loserly about me. I've always been relatively popular among peers, and all the middle-aged women I meet tell me I'm handsome (just need that to start happening among women in my generation).


99% of people with a post count of 66 probably don't know dick about 99% of FAs

Not that I'm defending anything he said, but, uh... I have this, uh, friend who's been lurking here for years and has an even lower post count. I guess my friend would be in the other 1%, eh?

[CurvyEm]

Just wanted to make it clear that I don't think all FAs are losers, nor do I consider the things I mentioned to be the things that make a good catch for me. lol

I have a nice man, but I've deffo come across a lot of people who are a bit.. socially inept.. in the fa world and wondered if it was because they were FA, the reason they were FA, or if it was unrelated. :)

[exile in thighville]

Not that I'm defending anything he said, but, uh... I have this, uh, friend who's been lurking here for years and has an even lower post count. I guess my friend would be in the other 1%, eh?

I think your friend's smart enough to not make generalizations about 99% of his peers.

[natesnap]

I think your friend's smart enough to not make generalizations about 99% of his peers.


In his defense my first reaction upon meeting is a bbw is to babble incoherently, reach for her boobs, and then piss myself in fear due to a lack of self confidence. I'd say 85% of the time this happens in the unemployment line cause I am an FA and therefore piss broke and unambitious. Oh well. :(

[Russell Williams]

For many many different reasons I am not a good catch. However I've been fortunate enough to catch one of the most beautiful, brilliant, talented, gifted, creative, sexy, women in the world.

Why on earth she moved 3000 miles to be with me I do not understand but I am truly glad that she did.

Just thinking about this marvelous woman makes me feel so truly blessed.

[BeautifulPoeticDisaster]

Just wanted to make it clear that I don't think all FAs are losers, nor do I consider the things I mentioned to be the things that make a good catch for me. lol

I have a nice man, but I've deffo come across a lot of people who are a bit.. socially inept.. in the fa world and wondered if it was because they were FA, the reason they were FA, or if it was unrelated. :)


To answer your question Em. I think there are definitely guys who date big girls cos they think they are easy. BUT those guys are NOT FA's. An FA is someone who admires fat people....not someone who dates fat folks cos of social ineptness.

[CCC]

I think your friend's smart enough to not make generalizations about 99% of his peers.

Oh, totally. Totes mcgotes.
He's like the smartest guy I know.
<_<
>_>

[Maxx Awesome]

Infact, I think I may actually be too good-looking to go out with fat girls.:p

[george83]

Infact, I think I may actually be too good-looking to go out with fat girls.:p

That's the funniest thing I've heard all week :p.

[SuperMishe]

My issue is that all these "good catches" don't want to be caught! At least not by me, anyway! Bastids! LOL!

[Maxx Awesome]

That's the funniest thing I've heard all week :p.

Only 'cause it's true. I may be too gorgeous to actually go out with anyone AT ALL!

[abel]

I think I'm a good catch. I look OK, have had an athletic physique at times (a bit of a small beer gut at the moment though). I earn a decent income.

I've dated quite attractive girls, some a bit fat. I am married to an somewhat slender woman (she's Japanese). I just never been able to find considerably fat women. By this I mean, say, around 5-foot-4 and in the 200 lbs neighborhood.

If anything, on the few occasions I did get a chance to make a go for them, I felt they were a bit standoffish. I wonder if it was just a case of my being desperate (perhaps because of the intense attraction, combined with an instinctive realization of the paucity of such chances) and they detect it.

I suspect a lot of women like the power they have to hurt or spurn guys who very obviously have the hots for them unless they also have the hots for you.

I think there are far more options to meet fat women these days. My skirt-chasing period centered around the mid to late 80s and there were simply less chances. For one thing young women have gotten fatter, and there was no internet back then.

[Ernest Nagel]

When was in relationships I tried to be a considerate and respectful partner in all regards. I didn't always succeed but I think generally I made progress. Frankly, I believe I've almost always chosen women who were "out of my league" but that's ultimately their choice, not mine.

I'm sure someone has already made this point better than I'm about to but I don't want to feel I had to "catch" someone based on some comparative selection process. Darwinian imperatives aside, relationships are not (inherently) a contest nor is attraction contingent on social standing or any other empirical criteria. If I'm happy and fulfilled with someone their perceived social worth or relative merits have no real bearing on that. No matter who we are there's always someone "better" by some standard; wealthier, more attractive, smarter... I think there's something to be said for simply accepting that someone would just choose you for yourself? JMO.

[The Fez]

Eh, I'm alright I guess.

[TotallyReal]

no. I live in a ditch. Whenever the sun comes out, I tunnel deeper itno the warm earth and claw at my eyes. Puss oozes from open wounds and I have no penis.I have never bathed. im trash

[LillyBBBW]

My issue is that all these "good catches" don't want to be caught! At least not by me, anyway! Bastids! LOL!

Heh, welcome to the club.

[LillyBBBW]

ahhh.. i see.. I think we both hang out is really different gay circles! lol.
I really dont know any gold star lesbians.. even my most lezzer friend..(that you chattered to) has still slept with a guy..hmm.. I'm not sure i know any gay women who havn't.
Hmm.. i dont know about bi-guys being less attractive to women.. though i have only met a VERY few bi-guys. For every 100 bi women i have met i recon i have met 1 bi guy.. seriously.. i have no idea why.. hmmmmmmm off to the lgbt board batgirl! :D

I think his was a response to the cliche addage, "All the good men are either taken or gay." At a certain point in life the cynic takes over and most straight women assume if they meet a good catch, "Taken or gay," is in the fine print somewhere.

[UMBROBOYUM]

Hmm an interesting question. I dont think my preference has much to do with "am I good catch" My taste in mates is not a judgment or assessment of whether I'm a good catch. With that being said I think I am not a good catch because I can't seem to find a job that will keep me for longer than a month these days. Cut backs are bad and you all know the rest..

I can't provide for myself at the moment, and no one wants a guy who can't provide for himself. If I want to be a good catch, I need to become economically viable in this society. I will be that one day though. Until that time, find a fish that can swim on its two fins, this one's choking on the sand bar...

Plenty of catches here on dims imo. Guys like Jonnyblaze, Bothguns, Tdevil, Stan the man, mr. webmaster , Dan.. etc the list goes on... and thats only the guys :P

[stan_der_man]

I'm a diamond in teh rough... the wild card, a loose nut, the joker in the pack... a loose cannon, the black sheep... I'm a fixer-upper... a classic ready to be restored...


I'm not for the faint of heart...



I need TLC...






I have bad habits...





But Mtmaiden puts up with me... ;)

[Edens_heel]

I'd say that I'm a mix at best. For the good side of things, I'm fairly athletic, driven, creative, self-employed (and not using that as an excuse for being poor - I'm an editor, that's enough of an excuse for being poor). I've got two degrees (BFA in Visual Arts and Master in Publishing). I read and write obsessively, I play several instruments, love almost all types of film and music. My ideal night doesn't include rolling over after sex, turning on the telly, and demanding a sandwich. I'm pretty much a solid geek, through and through - give me a fellow geek and a night of gaming or movie watching and I'm a happy pup - easy to please.

But with the good comes the bad. As others can reinforce, I'm very much OCD with work, some strong self-hatred towards my body and my own work (and a far reaching history of doing just that), some definite bi-polar tendencies, chronic migraines... in other words, I can be a right royal pain in the ass, for myself and those closest to me.

Half the time I feel as if I rock socks, and the other half I feel as if I should be in a padded cell somewhere, surrounded by thousands of pages of paper with which to write my insane ramblings. I throw myself to the mercy of the court to decide whether or not I am a good catch, heh.

[exile in thighville]

I'm a diamond in teh rough... the wild card, a loose nut, the joker in the pack...

TotallyReal stop logging in as stan

[TotallyReal]

TotallyReal stop logging in as stan

http://www.presidentcuster.com/images/slander08.jpg

[Green Eyed Fairy]

I'd say that I'm a mix at best. For the good side of things, I'm fairly athletic, driven, creative, self-employed (and not using that as an excuse for being poor - I'm an editor, that's enough of an excuse for being poor). I've got two degrees (BFA in Visual Arts and Master in Publishing). I read and write obsessively, I play several instruments, love almost all types of film and music. My ideal night doesn't include rolling over after sex, turning on the telly, and demanding a sandwich. I'm pretty much a solid geek, through and through - give me a fellow geek and a night of gaming or movie watching and I'm a happy pup - easy to please.

But with the good comes the bad. As others can reinforce, I'm very much OCD with work, some strong self-hatred towards my body and my own work (and a far reaching history of doing just that), some definite bi-polar tendencies, chronic migraines... in other words, I can be a right royal pain in the ass, for myself and those closest to me.

Half the time I feel as if I rock socks, and the other half I feel as if I should be in a padded cell somewhere, surrounded by thousands of pages of paper with which to write my insane ramblings. I throw myself to the mercy of the court to decide whether or not I am a good catch, heh.


Don't forget about that hot torso you got either ;)

[rollhandler]

Everybody has their mental list of what they like or look for in a potential partner. That list is different in subtle ways for as many people that are lookin for partners.

Am I a good catch? That depends on what is on your particular list. I like to think that being employed with an excellent work ethic, am family oriented and ambitious to that end is a good thing.

I believe that momma did her job well on teaching me how to treat a woman and a partner so I tend toward the Gentlemanly and I am confident of who I am and what I want out of life.

I like to think I have a good sense of humor albeit a warped one and a different way of thinking about most things.

A good catch is in the perception of the viewer.

Ive had women tell me that although I am employed for consecutive years that I dont make enough money to satisfy them, others that they dont like the fact that I wave my FA flag publicly,

Some dont like that I enjoy displaying my attraction to my partner in public, or that I flirt openly and are uncomfortable with the fact that I start conversations with total strangers.

Rollhandler

[olwen]

The aforementioned result is true, but the proposed cause is not.

In other words, yes, many if not most FAs "are unemployed, unexperienced or any number of things considered as flaws in the dating world." But they do NOT "go for fat chicks because of low self esteem." No, fat chicks are their genuine preference, and so they pursue them.

But the types of guys who are well-employed, career-minded, experienced and so forth are intensely image conscious. Therefore, they avoid they girls they're actually attracted to (fat chicks), and instead pursue socially acceptable girls (thin girls).

You get to be successful in life because you embrace the norms, and for successful guys, picking a mate is just one aspect of life success.

I know. Sucks, eh?

No, you get to be successful because you make your own path, realize your own ideas, and you have the ability to get people to follow you.

Image conscious guys are mindless drones who don't know how to think for themselves. I definitely don't want that.

To elaborate, I wonder if it has occurred to anyone (possibly it has) that the very qualities that make it possible for someone to be an FA make it hard for them to be datable.

To be an FA means having to have a sufficient degree of iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, etc. to believe that you're right, even when they rest of society is wrong (i.e., in what they insist "beautiful" to be).

It's like being a pagan in Medieval Europe, or a fascist in a modern liberal democracy. It's not easy. You're inevitably going to be a loner. You've got to be tough inside. Not necessarily in a heroic or manly way (if only). Just...tough.

Well, those qualities -- iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, loner-ness -- are basically death for relationships, aren't they? That's not exactly what women are looking for.

So like I said -- I suspect that FAs have a hard time being seen as datable by the opposite gender because of the very character traits that enable them to be FAs in the first place.

If they were better-adjusted (and therefore more agreeable datable types), they wouldn't be out as FAs.


If a person isn't dateable it's because of their own personalities, not because of labels. Seems to me you don't understand women at all, and I don't think that has anything to do with your preferences. You can't like, expect all women to want the same things all the time. There's no magic formula or secret recipe. There's no puzzle to solve, and you don't need an angle. Quit trying to be somebody else and just be yourself.


Just wanted to make it clear that I don't think all FAs are losers, nor do I consider the things I mentioned to be the things that make a good catch for me. lol

I have a nice man, but I've deffo come across a lot of people who are a bit.. socially inept.. in the fa world and wondered if it was because they were FA, the reason they were FA, or if it was unrelated. :)

I don't think there's anything inherent about being a fat admirer that makes people seem kinda whacky sometimes when it comes to dating. I think it's mostly just that people need more dating practice. (I could say the same for some fat women too.) They get so excited to be around fat women that their brains turn off for a bit. Sometimes it's that there aren't any fat women around them so they get no practice, which is understandable, but sometimes I think they'd react the same way around thin women if that was their preference. Either way they just have to get used to being around fat women and then they need to pay attention.

[truebebeblue]

I think I'm a good catch. I've got many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany:p. .

I Just ovulated.


True

[Captain Save]

That's a curious question, to say the least. I don't think of myself in those terms at all. I think a more pressing question would be, "are you the one she wants?" It's like asking a man if he has what it takes to please a woman. He doesn't know for certain; he has to take her word for it because she's the one in a position to find out.

Of course, if I had to really answer the question directly instead of dodging and weaving, I would have to say...I will be a good catch, soon.

[Alicia Rose]

I'm really not sure at all whether I am or not. I have a college education but I'm working as a part-time pizza delivery guy (though for some people that could be a plus), though I do have a plan - save up money from this job to move to a place where I can get a real one. I have a decent amount of experience, and when I'm with someone I tend to be somewhat obsessive, and devote a lot of time and energy to making the other person happy... but at the same time I can sometimes be completely insensitive and clueless to the other person's wants and needs unless they're laid out in front of me. I generally try to be a decent person, mostly because I couldn't live with myself otherwise, but also because I tend to think of myself as being too ugly to attract girls who like hot jerks :p

My self esteem is okay I suppose. I've dealt with chronic depression in the past, but I'm over that now, and tend to think more highly of myself.

But really, I'm not the person who should be asked if I'm a good catch, since everything I say is biased. :p

[kayrae]

I still can't stop laughing at this.

no. I live in a ditch. Whenever the sun comes out, I tunnel deeper itno the warm earth and claw at my eyes. Puss oozes from open wounds and I have no penis.I have never bathed. im trash

[mergirl]

That's a curious question, to say the least. I don't think of myself in those terms at all. I think a more pressing question would be, "are you the one she wants?" It's like asking a man if he has what it takes to please a woman. He doesn't know for certain; he has to take her word for it because she's the one in a position to find out.

Of course, if I had to really answer the question directly instead of dodging and weaving, I would have to say...I will be a good catch, soon.
I think it is a weird question in some ways. Its sort of like saying. "Fat people, do you think that only the dreggs of society will want to date you?" Cept its a question posed to Fa's. The funny thing is, most of the people that i know that are so NOT a good catch are the only ones arogant enough to think they really REALLY are, without any doubt in their mind. Sure lots of people can say, well, i have a job, i have an education, i have a car..that doesnt also mean you cant punch kittens, shag children and rape, murder and pillage. Anyone can list their good points.. i think it takes someone that is a good catch to be able to look at their faults, recognise them and work on them.
Next question-Fat people are you good at throwing??

[nocturnal33]

i would agree, alot of it is an internet thing. Being that a majority of FA's you may come across online have nothing better to do with their time. Trust me, there are plenty of us out there in the real world making a living. We just don't have the free time that other's might. Hence why alot of us (me included) don't have the time to post very much.

[wrench13]

Hmmm... I get obsessed by the project du jour, which may last days , weeks or years ( current obsessions - pirates, music and learning to play concertina, upgrading the decorations on our 'ship', the Hellion - really a 94 ASTRO van that we use for gigs, teaching my son how to work an engine lathe). I got lots of metal parts in me from various motorcycle crashes and things get kinda creaky when its rainin out. I love to look at beautiful women, esp beautiful or cute fat women. I tend to be cynical or just disinterested in most people, like they have to prove that they are worth my investment of time.

But, I do make a good living , with good securuty, I own my house, cars and bikes, I love kids and young people, I am loyal to my friends, I can fix anything with more then one moving part. I like fine dining and good food,
travel and learning anything new. I am an out of the closet FA and love big ladies. And I do my own dishes and laundry!

Good catch? Depends on the person I guess.
Does that count?

[Captain Save]

Maybe I should read the directions before screwing up another post...

[Captain Save]

Sure lots of people can say, well, i have a job, i have an education, i have a car..that doesnt also mean you cant punch kittens, shag children and rape, murder and pillage. Anyone can list their good points..

LMFAO!!

After I collected myself, I realized the accuracy of your words. The question posed by the OP only measures self confidence and/or arrogance, not whether the poerson in question is really a good catch. Is it a measurement of the person or the selling points thereof, like a used auto in the classifieds, that we look for when we ask that question of anyone, let alone ourselves?

[rollhandler]

Sure lots of people can say, well, i have a job, i have an education, i have a car..that doesnt also mean you cant punch kittens, shag children and rape, murder and pillage.

Never injured animals intentionally, have no sexual interest in children. never had sex under questionable circumstances, never killed anyone (but, have put good long thought to it at times), and would someone define pillage please?

Best I can say about being a good catch is that it all depends on who is fishing, and for what. Most people know what they want, but are poor judges of what they need for themselves.
Rollhandler

[Alicia Rose]

LMFAO!!

After I collected myself, I realized the accuracy of your words. The question posed by the OP only measures self confidence and/or arrogance, not whether the poerson in question is really a good catch. Is it a measurement of the person or the selling points thereof, like a used auto in the classifieds, that we look for when we ask that question of anyone, let alone ourselves?

..This is a very good point. *not much else to say*

[Maxx Awesome]

Recent polls indicate that Maxx Awesome is the ultimate fantasy shag for 95% of Belfast women. The other 5% just can't handle the pleasure. You have to be some woman for one woman to be with the maestro.

[Ernest Nagel]

Ran across this quote on a friends site and thought it made some sense vis-a-vis this thread?

"If only I can find him... the man who will be intelligent, yet physically magnetic and personable. If I can offer that combination, why shouldn't I expect it in a man?" ~ Sylvia Plath

The problem is that notion (reciprocity) really trips me up. If a woman expects as much from me as I see in her I'm screwed and not in a good way. I think I've suffered from a bit of Impostor Syndrome in almost every relationship I've ever had. There's always that nagging sense that she could really do MUCH better. That old Groucho Marx quote "I would never belong to any club that would have someone like me as a member." hovers like a bad smell when I'm attracted to someone. I crave smart women but automatically question the intelligence of anyone interested in me. Thankfully, sadly I'm done with relationships but does anyone else ever do this? Disqualify or downgrade someone for liking you?

It isn't so much that I lacked confidence as that I would overreach, I think? I fell for fabulous women when really just a very good one is as much as I could ever deserve. I've always heard that men tend to marry "up" and in my observation this is generally accurate. How do you know when "up" is actually "out of your league" before it's too late though? Although it sounds good in theory, trusting her to say never really worked out well for me. I'm mainly curious to hear from guys on this.

[thatgirl08]

"If only I can find him... the man who will be intelligent, yet physically magnetic and personable. If I can offer that combination, why shouldn't I expect it in a man?" ~ Sylvia Plath

Syvlia Plath is always right:wubu:

[mergirl]

Never injured animals intentionally, have no sexual interest in children. never had sex under questionable circumstances, never killed anyone (but, have put good long thought to it at times), and would someone define pillage please?

Best I can say about being a good catch is that it all depends on who is fishing, and for what. Most people know what they want, but are poor judges of what they need for themselves.
Rollhandler
Plundering, is to steal loot from some place you are ransacking.. If you have never done this either..then i suspect you are a good catch..so no worries! lol:)

[wrench13]

Pirate's Code Section 1 PP 31.9 "First you plunder THEN you burn! " :doh:

[chocolate desire]

You are perfect for me my darling. We seem to balance each other out very well.
I don't know if I am a good catch but I do love being caught:kiss2:



Well Em it seems that your thread is becoming a little insulting to FAs in general!

I have never considered myself a good catch because that requires a degree of arrogance and that simply isnt me!

Having said that, I have enjoyed a successful career, have undertaken and completed advanced projects and spoken at national conferences on my career discipline.

I can also say that I do know how to treat a lady and I insist on holding hands in public. I have also found that ladies I know do seem to enjoy my company.

So can I refute the generalisation that FAs must be a sub standard sort of person?

John W

P.S. No one is perfect - are they!

[mergirl]

Pirate's Code Section 1 PP 31.9 "First you plunder THEN you burn! " :doh:
lmao.. i can never remember which comes first.. rape, pillage or plunder...

[rollhandler]

Plundering, is to steal loot from some place you are ransacking.. If you have never done this either..then i suspect you are a good catch..so no worries! lol:)

Never sacked anything while running(takes too much energy)....therefore by logical extension have also never been in the position to plunder. *feels much better*
Rollhandler

[PhatChk]

You've got my vote;)

Mine too! Extra points if you know ow to make crepes. lol

[bmann0413]

I don't really know. I mean, I honestly don't know what I have to offer to any girl.

[fffff]

Without having read this entire thread, I to admit that I've had to stay away from hyde park and the exotic weight forum out of fear that if those are an accurate representation of FAs I will be tempted to take an ax to my thighs.

[pdgujer148]

I'll flip this a little...

I am so "f-bomb"ing sick and tired of friends and family assuming that I have low self-esteem because I dig fat women.

[Composite conversation]

They say: "You are such a great catch--and so admirable for seeing [Insert name of last partner.]'s inner beauty. You are such a great guy. You're attractive, super smart, have a good job, are well read, and have a great sense of humor. You could take your pick. When are you going to settle down and date a normal girl?

I say: Thank you for the sorta compliment, and whatever, but I don't need a pep talk; I need a cute, happy, fat woman.

They say: "That's only what you think you want because you don't love yourself enough. You lack confidence."

I say: "Nope. I'm looking for 400 pounds of Sex, Smart, and Style."

They say: "Oh, you are so silly....I have this friend that you should meet...."

To quote Charlie Brown: "ARRGGHHHH!"

[FaxMachine1234]

Without having read this entire thread, I to admit that I've had to stay away from hyde park and the exotic weight forum out of fear that if those are an accurate representation of FAs I will be tempted to take an ax to my thighs.

Yeah, I'd say Hyde Park is the wrong place to get a barometer on anybody. It's like saying, "I used to like this girl, but then I saw how she acted in Model UN."

[Weirdo890]

[QUOTE=CCC;1137533]If those are the criteria, then I must be a terrible catch, considering I'm in college (not technically unemployed, because to be officially unemployed, one must be actively looking for work. But yes, I'm unemployed in the traditional sense), and only 19.

Realistically though, there's nothing particularly odd or loserly about me. I've always been relatively popular among peers, and all the middle-aged women I meet tell me I'm handsome (just need that to start happening among women in my generation).QUOTE]

I'm right there with you buddy. College age, unemployed, and middle-age women keep telling me I'm handsome. What's really weird is one of my mom's coworkers thinks I have nice legs.

Anyway, I don't think I'm a great catch now, but I will be someday (I hope).

[JMNYC]

I do consider myself a good catch. Though I've been "caught" lo these 12 years.

I was raised in a feminist household, and my two brothers and I have the utmost respect for women.

I tell my wife I love her every day at least once, and walk her all the way down the hall to the elevator and to the lobby doors every day, unless I drive her to work. I do all the shopping and errands because I can (I drive, she doesn't), I take her dry cleaning in, and basically treasure that lady who came and healed my aching heart in 1996.

I cook her dinner a time or two during the week, make her coffee in the morning, keep her in bagels and try my best to be a blessing to her and make her proud of me. There have been lean times and times of bountiful harvest, death and jobs lost and gotten, triumphs and disasters, and together we have forged a pretty sweet life.

Sometimes I wake in the morning and just stare at her while she sleeps, and I thank Goddess for sending me such a beautiful plump angel.

[disconnectedsmile]

To elaborate, I wonder if it has occurred to anyone (possibly it has) that the very qualities that make it possible for someone to be an FA make it hard for them to be datable.

To be an FA means having to have a sufficient degree of iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, etc. to believe that you're right, even when they rest of society is wrong (i.e., in what they insist "beautiful" to be).

It's like being a pagan in Medieval Europe, or a fascist in a modern liberal democracy. It's not easy. You're inevitably going to be a loner. You've got to be tough inside. Not necessarily in a heroic or manly way (if only). Just...tough.

Well, those qualities -- iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, loner-ness -- are basically death for relationships, aren't they? That's not exactly what women are looking for.

So like I said -- I suspect that FAs have a hard time being seen as datable by the opposite gender because of the very character traits that enable them to be FAs in the first place.

If they were better-adjusted (and therefore more agreeable datable types), they wouldn't be out as FAs.

it appears that i fail at being an FA...or a man, for that matter.
i think i'll spend the remainder of my life in a cave, and forage for berries in my spare time as a means for survival.

[SparklingBBW]

I do consider myself a good catch. Though I've been "caught" lo these 12 years.

I was raised in a feminist household, and my two brothers and I have the utmost respect for women.

I tell my wife I love her every day at least once, and walk her all the way down the hall to the elevator and to the lobby doors every day, unless I drive her to work. I do all the shopping and errands because I can (I drive, she doesn't), I take her dry cleaning in, and basically treasure that lady who came and healed my aching heart in 1996.

I cook her dinner a time or two during the week, make her coffee in the morning, keep her in bagels and try my best to be a blessing to her and make her proud of me. There have been lean times and times of bountiful harvest, death and jobs lost and gotten, triumphs and disasters, and together we have forged a pretty sweet life.

Sometimes I wake in the morning and just stare at her while she sleeps, and I thank Goddess for sending me such a beautiful plump angel.

THIS.

As a woman, in the end all I want is to have someone I can love and cherish who will love and cherish me back. It doesn't take a high-paying job, a fancy McMansion, Hollywood good looks or even a dick that stays hard for hours. As long as we feel safe and loved in each other's lives and arms, then everything else falls to the wayside in importance. The man who understands this, is the kind of man I hope to catch some day.

.

[Babygirlneedsu]

I'll flip this a little...

I am so "f-bomb"ing sick and tired of friends and family assuming that I have low self-esteem because I dig fat women.

[Composite conversation]

They say: "You are such a great catch--and so admirable for seeing [Insert name of last partner.]'s inner beauty. You are such a great guy. You're attractive, super smart, have a good job, are well read, and have a great sense of humor. You could take your pick. When are you going to settle down and date a normal girl?

I say: Thank you for the sorta compliment, and whatever, but I don't need a pep talk; I need a cute, happy, fat woman.

They say: "That's only what you think you want because you don't love yourself enough. You lack confidence."

I say: "Nope. I'm looking for 400 pounds of Sex, Smart, and Style."

They say: "Oh, you are so silly....I have this friend that you should meet...."

To quote Charlie Brown: "ARRGGHHHH!"

In 2004 in Greece, the year they hosted the Olympics , I fell madly in lust for a big beautiful Greek Goddess on the beach and wanting some sporting encouragement I finally plucked up the courage to tell my two new chic French friends my excited news........and was met with just the attitude above, whereby they thought nothing of describing my would be hot girlfriend as a beached whale and... '' Oh you could do so much better for yourself !! ' came through loud and clear. I was very offended and started to see them as two very skinny little rats who I did not want to stay in touch with after the hol !

Give me an ample Aphrodite any day as when that little soft scoop of her belly reminds me of the catchers mit I am well and truly smit ! :smitten:

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

I think I am.

I'm reasonably good looking. I'm slender in a way that complements my bone structure. I have nice long full hair and green eyes. I can make people laugh. I've got a goal in life. I enjoy pleasing others. I give good massages. I'm at least average sized in the male genitalia department. I'm a feminist, so I don't go for girls who are "easy" because I don't think the concept of "easy girls" has any true meaning or validity (after all, aren't the guys who go after such girls equally "easy"?)

I don't make a point about what a good sense of humor I have, because I can actually tell jokes and perceive things that are meant to be funny. Similarly, because I have an egalitarian attitude towards gender roles and a default status of respect for human beings who earn my respect, I don't make a big deal about how I "respect women" and "know how to treat a girl."

I'm an FA, and I'm attracted to fat girls because they really rev my motor. I have very definite standards, and I am not looking to relax them any time in the near future, even if it means staying lonely and sexually frustrated for a long, long time.

[Maxx Awesome]

Maxx Awesome is all meat & no preservatives. At least that's what it says on the tin.

[NoWayOut]

Maxx Awesome is all meat & no preservatives. At least that's what it says on the tin.

How does that compare to Max Power?

[Maxx Awesome]

How does that compare to Max Power?
You can touch my name... & each letter is more important than the one that preceded it. The correct way to write it is:
MAXX AWESOME

[Fenrisulfr]

I may be a bigger guy as well, but I'd still consider myself a reasonably good catch, at least for my age group. I am currently unemployed, but pursuing an education which should eventually lead to a career in the sciences. But ultimately I'd think that it boils down to the fact that I really do love life and sharing life with those I love. I love making those I care about happy, which can mean anything from making her laugh to cooking an enjoyable meal for her to staying up all night with her in a mentally stimulating conversation, or even just cuddling. And while I may be a bhm, I'm still active and pretty strong. One of the great joys in life is surprising a bbw by lifting her off her feet in a great big bear hug :happy: .

I guess whether or not I'm a "catch" comes down to what the girl in question wants. If they don't like the fat guy, then I'm way out. If they can look beyond that or even appreciate it, I think I can do very well for myself.

[katherine22]

I might not be a good catch, but I'm a good shag ;)

"You can't always get what you want.....................you get what you need."

[katherine22]

I think I am.

I'm reasonably good looking. I'm slender in a way that complements my bone structure. I have nice long full hair and green eyes. I can make people laugh. I've got a goal in life. I enjoy pleasing others. I give good massages. I'm at least average sized in the male genitalia department. I'm a feminist, so I don't go for girls who are "easy" because I don't think the concept of "easy girls" has any true meaning or validity (after all, aren't the guys who go after such girls equally "easy"?)

I don't make a point about what a good sense of humor I have, because I can actually tell jokes and perceive things that are meant to be funny. Similarly, because I have an egalitarian attitude towards gender roles and a default status of respect for human beings who earn my respect, I don't make a big deal about how I "respect women" and "know how to treat a girl."

I'm an FA, and I'm attracted to fat girls because they really rev my motor. I have very definite standards, and I am not looking to relax them any time in the near future, even if it means staying lonely and sexually frustrated for a long, long time.bn

You are a great catch in that you have resisted that stupid "double standard" of sexual conduct where men take care of their sexual needs any time they want to, and women are considered sluts if they behave sexually outside the confines of marriage and a committed relationship.
A woman sexually satisfying herself on her own terms is a revolutionary.

[rachael]

it appears that i fail at being an FA...or a man, for that matter.
i think i'll spend the remainder of my life in a cave, and forage for berries in my spare time as a means for survival.

that's sad and extreme. :(

but anyway i think the whole thing about "what do you have to offer" has more to do with being a man than actually being a fa. when you think about it, being an fa is part of what the guy has to offer. this isn't a question asking me what i want, but i did want to offer this up as a thought: so many people think of terms of what people can "offer" them or what can we offer to them. like love is some trade off. i used to have this whole list of attributes that my potential mate would have to have. it was a long list too :rolleyes: it was almost impossible to find someone who fit that whole description. what's even more ironic is that when i finally did meet someone who fit what i was looking for, i happened to meet someone else who was the OPPOSITE of EVERYTHING i was looking for. :doh: irony.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

katherine22: Thank you. :) What does "bn" stand for? >.>

Racheal: I don't think being an FA really is something to offer. Being an FA means that the bbw description is added to your "looking for" category. Being fat is something to offer.

I think disconnected smile was being sarcastic.

[rachael]

katherine22: Thank you. :) What does "bn" stand for? >.>

Rachael: I don't think being an FA really is something to offer. Being an FA means that the bbw description is added to your "looking for" category. Being fat is something to offer.

I think disconnected smile was being sarcastic.

being an fa offers a ton of things to bbws. with the way society is, acceptance and appreciation of anyone even a little overweight is not a common occurance. so when you find someone who appreciates it and is attracted to you because of not in spite of your weight, i personally view it as something they have to offer me. i think determining who has what to offer is up to the individual and what they need or want out of life and out of a partner.

and yes i knew he was being sarcastic. :)

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

Curses. >.o Deadpan humor has got the better of me again!


Acceptance and appreciation are not guarentees for an FA.

[GunnerFA]

In short, yes I think I'm a decent catch.

I think I'm fairly good looking and have a decent body (I'm 6ft tall and around 185lbs with a bit of a belly). But I'll let others decide if they share the same view or not about my looks. Also I've always been a nice guy who likes being friendly with people I meet but I also like stirring people though never to offend or put down, just joke around. I show others respect but will put someone in their place if I need to. I value honesty, trust, good morals, goals in life and family and look for those qualities in women also.

Also I have been told by different women (generally older) a few times that I would make a good husband some day so you'd think that will count for something.

So I'll let you all make up your own minds but I think I'm a pretty good catch.:)

[bdog]

I was just sat pondering this.

So many times in my life I've heard of people saying things like, 'Oh he only goes for fat chicks because he can get no better' or 'He goes for fat chicks because he's got low self esteme.'.

Frankly, that makes me feel pretty shitty but I was just thinking about how many FA I've spoken to online who are unemployed, unexperienced or any number of things considered as flaws in the dating world.

So do you consider yourself a good catch?

Yes, I do. Definitely. Not perfect, but my imperfections have helped open my heart and taught me all kinds of things.

Oh... and I turn down high quality thin chicks a fair amount if it makes you feel any better. ;) I sometimes curse being an FA because I meet lovely thin women that I'm just not that attracted to.

But at the end of the day it's not about being a 'good catch'. It's just about two compatible people meeting that can love one another and help each other grow. no pun intended.

[Tau]

I might not be a good catch, but I'm a good shag ;)

So whats your number? :D

[Tau]

Thankfully, sadly I'm done with relationships but does anyone else ever do this? Disqualify or downgrade someone for liking you?

It isn't so much that I lacked confidence as that I would overreach, I think? I fell for fabulous women when really just a very good one is as much as I could ever deserve. I've always heard that men tend to marry "up" and in my observation this is generally accurate. How do you know when "up" is actually "out of your league" before it's too late though? Although it sounds good in theory, trusting her to say never really worked out well for me. I'm mainly curious to hear from guys on this.

I'm terribly nosy, sorry, but I'd really like to know why you're so certain you're done with relationships? You don't have to say but I'm really curious.

Also how is somebody 'out of your league' ? Life gives you the opportunity to be with several different people throughout your lifetime. If you seize these chances for happiness and the object of your affection adores you right back then how is she out of your league? She's loving you for you, are you loving her only for her brains or looks or something that isnt the entirety of her? Perhaps I'm naieve but I figure if I care about you and want to spend the rest of my life with you what would it matter if i were the next Einstein and you were learning disabled or something?

[Ernest Nagel]

I'm terribly nosy, sorry, but I'd really like to know why you're so certain you're done with relationships? You don't have to say but I'm really curious.

Also how is somebody 'out of your league' ? Life gives you the opportunity to be with several different people throughout your lifetime. If you seize these chances for happiness and the object of your affection adores you right back then how is she out of your league? She's loving you for you, are you loving her only for her brains or looks or something that isnt the entirety of her? Perhaps I'm naieve but I figure if I care about you and want to spend the rest of my life with you what would it matter if i were the next Einstein and you were learning disabled or something?

Combination of things, I suppose? Partly health issues that leave me feeling unfit for a relationship. Mostly I just suck at relationships. I always end up making otherwise sweet women sad and angry. I think it's selfish and stupid to keep trying. It seems the decent thing is never to inflict myself on anyone else again.

Re the "league" thing, it's hard to explain. The feeling that someone "settled" for you is hard to shake, no matter how much they insist otherwise. When people are always working on you, trying to fix you or analyzing how you're damaged it takes its' toll. Why be with someone flawed who can't change? My role in most relationships has tended to shift from project to burden to toxic irritant. At this point loneliness just seems preferable. Thanks for asking. It forced me to acknowledge some things to myself.

I don't mean it as an explanation or an excuse but I have borderline Asperger's syndrome which means I am largely lacking in emotional intelligence. Just fyi.

[SoliloquyOfaSiren]

Long time, no post.... but I really don't know.

Whether or not your a good catch depends on the person you're wanting to attract. All of us are obviously not going to sit up here and say "Yeah I'm gorgeous, smart, athletic, and overall just succeed at life." And every person on this thread can name things about themselves that they find very unappealing. But whether you are a good catch depends on the person looking at you. Like there's been guys who've gotten to know me and said "HELL NO" because I'm not some girl who depends on others or wtv...but then again there's been guys who've met me and thought I fit the mold for the girl of their dreams.

So as for me...I can only hope to appeal to at least one person...too many suitors from either direction could definitely be bad lol

XOXO

[BarbBBW]

I do appreciate my hubby 100% but threads like this make me wanna be single again :(

[katherine22]

The feeling that someone "settled" for you is hard to shake, no matter how much they insist otherwise. When people are always working on you, trying to fix you or analyzing how you're damaged it takes its' toll. Why be with someone flawed who can't change? My role in most relationships has tended to shift from project to burden to toxic irritant. At this point loneliness just seems preferable. Thanks for asking. It forced me to acknowledge some things to myself.


__________________________________________________ ______________
One of my favorite quotes supposedly attributed to Christ is "Take the plank out of your own eye before removing the speck of dust from your neighbor's." I am intrigued by the question as to why some people think it is their goal in life to fix other people. It is unfortunate that those women could not enjoy you and leave it at that.

[Tau]

Combination of things, I suppose? Partly health issues that leave me feeling unfit for a relationship. Mostly I just suck at relationships. I always end up making otherwise sweet women sad and angry. I think it's selfish and stupid to keep trying. It seems the decent thing is never to inflict myself on anyone else again.

Re the "league" thing, it's hard to explain. The feeling that someone "settled" for you is hard to shake, no matter how much they insist otherwise. When people are always working on you, trying to fix you or analyzing how you're damaged it takes its' toll. Why be with someone flawed who can't change? My role in most relationships has tended to shift from project to burden to toxic irritant. At this point loneliness just seems preferable. Thanks for asking. It forced me to acknowledge some things to myself.

I don't mean it as an explanation or an excuse but I have borderline Asperger's syndrome which means I am largely lacking in emotional intelligence. Just fyi.

Thank you for sharing that *hugz* I'm still going to hope you find a love that loves you for you and doesnt try to change you

[Bafta1]

To elaborate, I wonder if it has occurred to anyone (possibly it has) that the very qualities that make it possible for someone to be an FA make it hard for them to be datable.

To be an FA means having to have a sufficient degree of iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, etc. to believe that you're right, even when they rest of society is wrong (i.e., in what they insist "beautiful" to be).

It's like being a pagan in Medieval Europe, or a fascist in a modern liberal democracy. It's not easy. You're inevitably going to be a loner. You've got to be tough inside. Not necessarily in a heroic or manly way (if only). Just...tough.

Well, those qualities -- iconoclasm, stubbornness, arrogance, loner-ness -- are basically death for relationships, aren't they? That's not exactly what women are looking for.

So like I said -- I suspect that FAs have a hard time being seen as datable by the opposite gender because of the very character traits that enable them to be FAs in the first place.

If they were better-adjusted (and therefore more agreeable datable types), they wouldn't be out as FAs.

it appears that i fail at being an FA...or a man, for that matter.
i think i'll spend the remainder of my life in a cave, and forage for berries in my spare time as a means for survival.

I really like this thread - so many thoughtful comments. These two struck me because of their pertinence to feelings I have been unable to articulate. I don't know if I'm a "catch". I wouldn't presume to be my own judge. I am a loner though, and I think these comments go some way in explaining that loneliness.

I keep wondering why I emigrated to a country in which I'm sure to remain single forever. I think the lonesomeness of the thoughts we have about aesthetics, about society, about beauty, make it hard to envisage being in a relationship with the kind of person we'd find beautiful.

And besides all these lonely thoughts - thoughts that are so difficult to admit and discuss with friends and family - we're flooded by the questions of how to meet someone; how to let a fat girl know that we truly find her aesthetically perfect; how to present her to our friends and family; and whether, having overcome all that, we're even compatible with one another.

As extreme as it sounds, I agree with the statement of feeling like a failure as a man. There are so many times I just feel like giving up - admitting to myself that I'm probably going to be alone in life. I'll join you with the berry picking...

[escapist]

"Yeah I'm gorgeous, smart, athletic, and overall just succeed at life."

I think that says it all 4 me :D

Ok so the question is totally subject to my own self-esteem, views, outlook, and goals (Thank you question asker!). When you view your life as successful because no event comes without a price and a reward for that price its hard to see things in the old fail/succeed model and therefor it all just becomes experience gained which to me equals success. Besides no event passes without leaving an imprint of that experience so why not use all experience to your good?

Anyways yeah, I think I'm a pretty good catch, fun at parties, and I even come with my own easy to use squeeze tube dispenser for those special moments.

[Chef]

Yes, I do consider myself a good catch... I'm just not looking for a hook.. yet.

[BarbBBW]

Yes, I do consider myself a good catch... I'm just not looking for a hook.. yet.

well in your case,... its a cage,.. a lobster trap is a cage hahahha just your luck!!

[SoliloquyOfaSiren]

I think that says it all 4 me :D

Ok so the question is totally subject to my own self-esteem, views, outlook, and goals (Thank you question asker!). When you view your life as successful because no event comes without a price and a reward for that price its hard to see things in the old fail/succeed model and therefor it all just becomes experience gained which to me equals success. Besides no event passes without leaving an imprint of that experience so why not use all experience to your good?

Anyways yeah, I think I'm a pretty good catch, fun at parties, and I even come with my own easy to use squeeze tube dispenser for those special moments.


Lol.....okay only you will sit up here and say that...and everyone will agree lol

Yeah...I consider you a good catch dear.

(ps miss chatting with ya)

[snuggletiger]

I'd like to think I am as a future homeowner, and having a steady job and a guaranteed retirement, that I would be stable. I hope that my sense of humor and kind heart would balance out whatever imperfections I have.

[Ernest Nagel]

Thank you for sharing that *hugz* I'm still going to hope you find a love that loves you for you and doesnt try to change you

Oh, they're generally right; I do need to change. The problem is some of the worst things about me are just the flip side of the best things about me. I am intensely focused; when I'm with a partner I'm 100% completely with her. When I'm not she may as well be on another planet. Most women view that as a lack of commitment. It isn't but I agree that a woman is entitled to feel she is her mates #1 priority 100% of the time. I want to comply with that expectation and I've honestly tried but it hasn't gone well. There's nothing more disheartening than (repeatedly) disappointing a wonderful woman who loves you.

Don't feel bad for me though. I've had a good run with some fabulous and very forgiving women. I've just come to accept the truth in something my first wife said about me, "He's a lot like garlic; a little bit of him goes a long way.". I guess you could say I'm a good "catch and release", just not a keeper, LOL. :rolleyes: :D

[Chef]

well in your case,... its a cage,.. a lobster trap is a cage hahahha just your luck!!

LOL! I hope there's not a pot of boiling water in my future...

[alienlanes]

Yes. .........

[benzdiesel]

I think I'm a combination of both, a "good" catch and a "less than perfect" catch - as we all are for some set of reasons or another. I'll try to present the most-related ones. I think an enormous amount of the different there depends on the girl - whether she's a FFA or a - though I absolutely despise the implications of this, simplicity wins - a more traditionally-preferenced girl.

At the end of the day, it always depends on who's doing the catching. My sarcastic mock-insulting sense of humor may grate on her nerves, even while somebody else likes it. My tendency to act older than my age (not prone to as much partying as my college compatriots) may be a good thing if she happens to admire it, or it is more likely to just provide me with a stick-in-the-mud label and a "kick me" sign. If she isn't looking for a sexual relationship yet, then the fact that I'm one of those crazy ones that's planning on a wedding first will meet with her approval. Otherwise, it'll put me in the instant discard pile for being inexperienced and boring. I could go on and on talking about jobs, that kind of thing... but it's really irrelevant. My point here is that I have no self-esteem issues about my lifestyle or about my personality that lead me to believe I'm a worse catch than anybody else.

Which means that it becomes purely a physical question. If I'm a good catch (or a bad catch) from the "who I am" point of view, then how does that change in the light of "what do I look like?"

I suppose it would have made more sense to clarify this at the beginning, but since this is the first time it's mattered... I'm not just a simple FA, I'm a FA who's also heavy/large myself, which automatically changes the dynamic. To a girl who is attracted to at best and ambivalent about at worst the fact that I'm twice or 2.5x the size of your average über-popular ab-crunching basketball star, I think that I am as good a catch, assuming her preferences for the guy's personality agree with who I am, as anybody else out there. Not saying I'm perfect for everybody :D just saying I don't see myself at any disadvantage from having a preference for larger-than-average girls. Certainly my preferences don't cause me to make creepy overtures before they're called for (or, in fact, at any time) or anything like that. Not that I think this is normal behavior among FAs, I'm just saying.

Right here, though, is where I'm fully aware that being a bigger FA does put me at a disadvantage. I'm partially bisizual - from a physical perspective, I'm always attracted to or at least my eye is caught first by the bigger crowd. However, since to me the physical part of any relationship is secondary to whether our personalities are in love or not, I'm fully capable of - and have in fact in the past - falling for thinner people because I got along with them so well that their size didn't even enter into it. This is where I sort of managed to tie the rambling back together - my physical preference doesn't put me at a "bad catch" disadvantage simply because of its existence. However, my own size does make me a bad catch for those girls of any size who are looking for that lanky basketball star. I don't consider this to be a "self-esteem" issue, which is how this thread got started. I don't think my preference for bigger girls indicates I believe myself to be fit only to be attracted to a "lower class"; I don't ever at any time feel that my physical preferences are the result of "settling" for anything less than what I truly like. The fact that my eye is caught first by the larger girl standing next to the thinner one does not indicate anything in any way to suggest I believe myself unfit to be attracted to the thinner one.

However - if we accept as an unfortunately broad overgeneralization with some basis in truth that the vast majority of "thin" girls is likely attracted to equally athletic guys, then I certainly think I'd be a "bad catch" for them, personality or not - in the same way that anybody else would be a bad catch for somebody who was simply attracted to a different body type.

So... what was the point of all that?


The simple answer to the thread title is "No, I'm not a bad catch except to people who simply aren't impresed with me for some reason."
If the hypothetical situation existed in which I felt the same exact personality attraction to two girls at the same exact time, one of whom was smaller physically than the other, with no other knowledge of their preferences I expect I would be more likely to feel that my "chances" were better with the bigger one. Even though I'd be very likely to be wrong, as evidenced by the large number of skinny FFAs on the board, I would be led to that conclusion anyway simply based on my understanding of the "average" attitudes out there.
In the above hypothetical situation, I do not believe that ANY of the people involved would be "settling" if they accepted. I don't think that I would be "settling" for an inferior girl by choosing the larger one, and I don't think of myself so lowly that I think either girl would be "settling" for accepting me, unless she actually was attracted to a different body type or personality and just took me out of... idk, pity.
So therefore, as a FA and as a large one at that, I do not believe either fact negatively affects my own attitudes or my own responses to anybody who happens to be interested. And my response to the "oh, you're just settling because you have low self-esteem" accusation is something along the lines of "your mother was a hamster...."

[mergirl]

Oh, they're generally right; I do need to change. The problem is some of the worst things about me are just the flip side of the best things about me. I am intensely focused; when I'm with a partner I'm 100% completely with her. When I'm not she may as well be on another planet. Most women view that as a lack of commitment. It isn't but I agree that a woman is entitled to feel she is her mates #1 priority 100% of the time. I want to comply with that expectation and I've honestly tried but it hasn't gone well. There's nothing more disheartening than (repeatedly) disappointing a wonderful woman who loves you.

Don't feel bad for me though. I've had a good run with some fabulous and very forgiving women. I've just come to accept the truth in something my first wife said about me, "He's a lot like garlic; a little bit of him goes a long way.". I guess you could say I'm a good "catch and release", just not a keeper, LOL. :rolleyes: :D
To be honest i think the biggest problem is that you are a chimp.

[mediaboy]

No, I consider myself a T-Rex.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

T-Rexs are.........big

[bdog]

T-Rexs are.........big

you are ridiculous!

:)

[Green Eyed Fairy]

you are ridiculous!

:)

I can't help it sometimes.... ;) :D

[katherine22]

no. I live in a ditch. Whenever the sun comes out, I tunnel deeper itno the warm earth and claw at my eyes. Puss oozes from open wounds and I have no penis.I have never bathed. im trash

I have always admired a man who can assess himself accurately.

[nykspree8]

I think I'm a good catch ;D But I don't think that's up for me to decide and opinions may vary from person to person lol

[anybodys]

hells to the yeah! ok admittedly i'm unemployed right now, but i've only been out of school for like a month and i'm working on it. i've got a college degree, i'm a good cook, and if countless homeless men are to be believed, i'm damned good-looking. :happy:
a friend of mine-- a gay male friend, as it happens-- once remarked, "you like fat guys? you're like the perfect woman! you are gonna make somebody so happy, he can eat whatever he wants when he's with you."
that made me feel pretty good, especially after a recent ex, who frequently berated me about my "disgusting fat fetish."
but yeah, i like to think of my preference as being a perk-- one of the good things about me-- not as a flaw or a symptom of suckness.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

hells to the yeah! ok admittedly i'm unemployed right now, but i've only been out of school for like a month and i'm working on it. i've got a college degree, i'm a good cook, and if countless homeless men are to be believed, i'm damned good-looking. :happy:
a friend of mine-- a gay male friend, as it happens-- once remarked, "you like fat guys? you're like the perfect woman! you are gonna make somebody so happy, he can eat whatever he wants when he's with you."
that made me feel pretty good, especially after a recent ex, who frequently berated me about my "disgusting fat fetish."
but yeah, i like to think of my preference as being a perk-- one of the good things about me-- not as a flaw or a symptom of suckness.

Very nice post- I enjoyed reading it, so thanks :)

[t3h_n00b]

I think I'm a good catch. I run fast, so if you catch me, you had to work for it :p

[ssbbwlover89]

I don't think I'm THAT bad of a catch...but seeing how I'm still single, with no luck of looking all this time...makes me think the ladies think differently, soooo idk. :)

[marlowegarp]

I am a catch, but like the gregarious marlin, I am not a catch for everyone. If you're just some old dude, I'll drag you along until we both wonder if it's even about the chase anymore.

On a side note, in Portland the unemployment rate is at 12%, so I sometimes wonder if being employed isn't some sort of faux pas, like repeatedly crushing your significant other at some trivial contest.

[anybodys]

Very nice post- I enjoyed reading it, so thanks :)
Thanks for enjoying it! :^)

[Ilegalpat]

It is an interesting question. Because as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is a "catch". What might be attractive traits to one, might not work for another. I am not sure too many people would say they are a "bad catch". If they do, be wary of them.

[Mathias]

Maybe, I guess. That's not up for me to decide.

[joswitch]

Just wanted to make it clear that I don't think all FAs are losers, nor do I consider the things I mentioned to be the things that make a good catch for me. lol

I have a nice man, but I've deffo come across a lot of people who are a bit.. socially inept.. in the fa world and wondered if it was because they were FA, the reason they were FA, or if it was unrelated. :)

Well I'm FA - like it's my orientation FA - and that has zero to do with my "catchness" or otherwise...

Skinny girls hit on me in... this is on the one hand nice cos it's kind of a compliment (altho' often on a par with the male equivalent of "nice t*ts love"... who says blokes have a monopoly on terrible chat up lines/attitude!?)... on the other hand it's annoying cos I'm probably trying to get the attention of a cute fat chick who is probably carefully looking at the floor/her phone/doesn't realise that guys are trying to make eye contact with her - cos she's hot!...:doh:

Re. my catchness - I'm really poor but I get by, I'm an ex-scientist (PhD), ex-chef, self-employed musician/songwriter/poet/teacher, I'm a river gypsy and I own my own narrowboat... I'm weird I guess, but I think have a number of "redeeming features".. so whilst for most chicks I'm kryptonite, for some few I'm catnip... so yeah, I'm probably "good value" if someone like me is what you're looking for...

If what you're looking for is a guy who'll buy a house, car, holidays, raise a family with you and watch TV every night... that's not me... if you want odd little adventures and laughs and hugs and dancing and good cooking and conversation and passion and a bit of kink then I'm your man....:D

[luckbthisbblady]

Wow....you do know your way around a make up counter that's for sure! Cool!

[luckbthisbblady]

I would definetley like to meet an eligible FA who is a good catch! Seems that I haven't met very many in my life. If I could figure out where they all are, then I'd probably move there!

[Diego]

I am not rich or have an education but i have my job. People always say I am cute or handsome so maybe that is true, I don't know.

The big thing that makes someone a catch is a generous heart! All shallow things like saying for example money, looks, they will not last so i prefer first of all to be with someone i'm always feel happy around.

[ESPN Cutie]

Yea. I've been told I'm pretty cute; I'm 24 with my Master's; I have a good paying job for someone under 25 (I live in an area where teachers make pretty good money) and I'm in pretty good shape (workout/eat healthy).

Personality wise, I consider myself friendly and generous, although not very extroverted. I can also be kinda high maintenance, but the guys I have dated seem to like that. So I guess I am only a good catch if the guy likes my personality.

[Noir]

I know i can definitely be worse, so I would say im a pretty good catch. Always room for improvement though

[Mini]

Scratch what I said earlier. Yes, I am a damn good catch. I'm intelligent, funny, tall, attractive, and loyal to the end. My confidence my be lacking, but other than that I'm pretty fuckin' awesome.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Just thought you should know.............

[BMOC]

Im definitely a good catch. I don't have any kids, warrants or an arrest record. I have a car, apartment, job, some average savings, ok credit, a great sense of humor, a wealth of talent, ok looks.

I'd say Im just lacking in some confidence and charisma. Im also a bit of a hermit somedays when I don't feel like being sociable. That's been my Achilles' Heel. I'm always jealous of guys who are "people magnets".

[Buffie]

Scratch what I said earlier. Yes, I am a damn good catch. I'm intelligent, funny, tall, attractive, and loyal to the end. My confidence my be lacking, but other than that I'm pretty fuckin' awesome.

I'd hit it.







Just sayin...

[mergirl]

I'd hit it.







Just sayin...

With a large shitty stick, yes! :p

[Mini]

With a large shitty stick, yes! :p

No sass-talk from the furry peanut gallery. :p

[mergirl]

No sass-talk from the furry peanut gallery. :p
My peanut is smooth..if 'peanut' is what i think it is. :D

[Mini]

My peanut is smooth..if 'peanut' is what i think it is. :D

I'd say "TMI," but honestly, when it comes to lesbians, there's just no such thing for me.

[mergirl]

I'd say "TMI," but honestly, when it comes to lesbians, there's just no such thing for me.

I'm sure lesbians feel the same about you.

[Mini]

I'm sure lesbians feel the same about you.

Ha, I win this round.

[mergirl]

Ha, I win this round.

lmao. yes. Here have a walnut. ;)
Well done.. next time tell me when we are playing so i can insult you in scottish like a wee sneak! :p

[Buffie]

Goddammit! I can't rep either one of you right now. Fucking fuckers.

[Victim]

My current increase in awesomeness has been offset by an equally large increase in geekiness. I'm doing things that other geeks only DREAM about. But I'm taken anyway, so it's a moot point.