do you accept it or do you like it?

[superodalisque]

in your journey where are you? do you or are you at the stage of just trying to accept your fat or do you actually like it? i know a lot of people have gone from kind of accepting the societal line that its better to be thin to accepting the size they are. where do you fit on the continuim? if there were a skinny pill would you take it tomorrow? would you be ok with losing for non health oriented reasons or do you feel a bit sad when you drop a few? are you happier when you gain? or are you somewhere in the middle, enjoying it on some days and not so much on others?

[goodthings]

in your journey where are you? do you or are you at the stage of just trying to accept your fat or do you actually like it? i know a lot of people have gone from kind of accepting the societal line that its better to be thin to accepting the size they are. where do you fit on the continuim? if there were a skinny pill would you take it tomorrow? would you be ok with losing for non health oriented reasons or do you feel a bit sad when you drop a few? are you happier when you gain? or are you somewhere in the middle, enjoying it on some days and not so much on others?

I am not yet close to being at the point of acceptance. I hope to one day get there, but as of yet I hate my body most days and cannot find too much about it that makes me happy about being fat. I do very much want to accept myself but am not sure how to get there...:blush:

[thatgirl08]

I'm still in the process but I've made a lot of progress. Dims has definitely helped, but so has maturing in a lot of ways. The question of whether I'd take a skinny pill is a hard one for me. I can honestly say I'd be tempted. There are some days when I still think life would be so much easier, and possibly even more enjoyable, if I were thin, but I can honestly say that the number of those days has significantly decreased. I'm learning to love myself for who I am and what I look like. I'd be fine if weightloss happened naturally, and I would even like to lose about 50 pounds on purpose right now. It's not about me not accepting myself though.. I just feel more comfortable at a slightly smaller, although still big, size.

[ThatFatGirl]

I'd take a skinny pill in a second and then I'd either go running or shopping, not sure which I'd do first.

I can't say I accept my fat, but I don't hate myself for being fat either. I know I can be healthier and make much better choices for myself, so I do tend to beat myself up for continually doing that which is unhealthy for me.

There are days I feel beautiful, but it's usually because I'm having a good hair day, my allergies aren't bothering me so my eye make-up stays in place, and I'm wearing something I feel cute in.. even on those days though I'm wishing I was at least about 100 lbs lighter. I might feel different if I was a healthier fat person, but having just turned 40, parts of me are feeling worse for wear carrying around all this weight.

[ThatFatGirl]

Deleted duplicate post.

:D

[jewels_mystery]

It took several years to get to this point. But I love my fat, it is part of me. I don't think there is anything more sexy than a woman with mounds and curves. If it wasn't for my back and knee problems, I wouldn't want to loose a pound of it.

[Brenda]

I would take the pill for health reasons primarily. I accept myself fat but not the health implications. I do think I personally look better less fat then I currently am but I do not base my self esteem on how I look.

[CurvyEm]

I like my body, but I dislike limitations because of it.

[Tau]

I like this thread. It made me think of the Xmen - the 2nd particulary. When Nightshade asks Mystique why, if she can look like everybody else, if she can hide her mutation, she chooses not. and her answer, to this day, absolutely moves me. She very simply say, "Because we shouldn't have to." Now fat people arent mutants with super powers - but boy do I wish ;) - but we shouldnt have to apologise for how we are or make excuses just for existing. I went on a long, hard journey to get where I'm at. I'm not going to try and say it was easy, that I didn't cry and agonise and hate myself. But I was blessed in that I always had unbelievable, loving support and when, as an adult, I was ready to open my eyes to greater and more fulfilling realities than what mainstream media and opinion offered, I opened my eyes to a fat body I adore. I can't imagine not being comfortable in my fat form and being the fat girl, going through the shit I went through, has made me a woman I enjoy and most of the time admire LOL! Sounds incredibly vain but i really like myself, the fat casing and the gooey inner bits :D My blood pressure has recently spiked slightly and before it gets dangerous I need to lose a few kilos. I'm not charmed about the necessary loss but I love being healthy so I've recently had to make some changes. But otherwise, I love every jiggle and roll and I really hope everybody comes to feel that way about themselves.

[Just_Jen]

Generally happy with being fat. But i would like to be a bit thinner so things get easier again and my health problems back off..

I have good days and bad days to be honest.

[Fascinita]

I like it. It feels right. And only semi-recently I've actively hoped that I don't lose any of it. Mostly, though, I don't worry about losing or gaining.

[kayrae]

I accept it. Sometimes I like it. Like Fascinita I don't worry about losing or gaining. I would be upset if I lost or gained because my clothes wouldn't fit me right. And I just recently overhauled my entire wardrobe. If I was given a skinny pill, I would take it, put it in my pocket, and save it for later. Maybe I'll take only an eighth... who knows :p

[bexy]

I like it because I have never known any different and just would not how to cope with a smaller body.
I like that I am soft and cuddly, feel motherly, maternal, warm and womanly, that I look different from a lot of other people, and that I can distance myself from the world of weight loss and diet talk because talking about losing "those stubborn 7lbs" or "that last inch of cellulite" just doesn't apply to me.

The only issue I ever have is not getting the clothes I want and people being rude to me. If there was a way to fix that without having to change ME that would be great but alas there isn't :(

[steely]

In my case it isn't a case of liking or accepting it,it just is.It's like the moon in the sky,the sun rising,the beginning of every day.It's just who I am.I'm fat.That's not all I am but for most people it's enough.Positive or negative.
For me,I am enough.:happy:

[thatgirl08]

I just decided that part of my insecurity stems from the fact that I feel like I have somewhat of a choice to be fat or not and by 'choosing' this, I feel like maybe I'm in the wrong? My lack of motivation to actually eat right and exercise makes me feel inferior somehow.. somewhat, disgusted with myself I guess. I can't really explain myself right now. As a discliamer, I'm not trying to project any message about ALL fat people or anyone at all whatsoever except myself. I realize for a lot of people its genes blah blah. I'm solely representing myself with this. But yeah, I guess part of what makes it difficult to accept is the fact that I feel like I have control over my weight, and I'm not doing anything to change it.

EDIT: Do I need to defend myself though? Why can't I be happy with my 'choice' to not lose weight? I'm not sure if I'm making any sense. Just kind of rambling.

[steely]

I just decided that part of my insecurity stems from the fact that I feel like I have somewhat of a choice to be fat or not and by 'choosing' this, I feel like maybe I'm in the wrong? My lack of motivation to actually eat right and exercise makes me feel inferior somehow.. somewhat, disgusted with myself I guess. I can't really explain myself right now. As a discliamer, I'm not trying to project any message about ALL fat people or anyone at all whatsoever except myself. I realize for a lot of people its genes blah blah. I'm solely representing myself with this. But yeah, I guess part of what makes it difficult to accept is the fact that I feel like I have control over my weight, and I'm not doing anything to change it.

EDIT: Do I need to defend myself though? Why can't I be happy with my 'choice' to not lose weight? I'm not sure if I'm making any sense. Just kind of rambling.

You're making perfect sense.I lived that way for years.Just recently I decided to stop fighting myself,stop calling myself names,quit hating myself for being weak,stop hating myself for being fat,for not being what everyone else wanted me to be.

I just decided to be.I've been beating myself up for twenty years now and I got tired.I'm fat,so what?I don't feel like I have to defend myself anymore.I,for the moment can just be.If happiness and acceptance come from just being,I will be glad but I will still just be.

[Ruffie]

I am accepting it. I have always been fat, even when I did lose weight and was 75lbs lighter I was still fat. Would I take the skinny pill if it were offered to me-hell yes! Doesn't mean I don't have a sense of being a fat women, but the reality of the situation is that life would be much easier for me as a thin woman. We all know how society views us and that aspect of discrimination would be gone from my daily life if I were thin. I wouldn't have to fight as hard to be seen as a woman, a professional, and to have my needs met in medical and insurance fields. Not to mention the health benefits from no longer carrying the excess weight. I would not be as pre disposed to Diabetes(prevalant in both maternal and paternal females in the family), arthitis pain would be lesser, high blood pressure might be gone completely etc. That being said, I have made the decision long ago that life is too short not live it. I could be thin if I followed a specific diet and worked out for over an hour each day. But do I want to spend my whole life not eating the things I enjoy, sacrifice time with friends and family for time in the gym? Hell no! I am pleased when I lose a little weight because it means I am that much more healthy. Do I ever think I will be a thin women or do I aspire to that? The simple answer is no. If it were to happen then fine for I really like who I am inside and my beauty and worth comes from that not the package I come in. Right now as I said before alot of folks in society do not see that and truthfully that is their loss. I want to live my life, stay as active as I can, be as healthy as I can and jsut be me. I know inside that I have alot to offer as a friend, partner, youth worker, artist and daughter. Those that do not see me as a woman because I am fat and choose to judge or not take the time to look further and develop a relationship with me because of my weight, aren't worth the time to worry about.
Ruth

[thatgirl08]

Yeah, that makes sense. I think I'm just having an off day or something.

[Tracyarts]

I like being me.

Whatever size my body happens to be at any given stage in my life is only one of many different things that define who I am. I have been on both ends of the body size spectrum and liked myself just as much at either. If my weight were only a benign physical atrribute, like being tall, or having blue eyes, then it would simply be what it is and I would accept it without a second thought. But since it is not currently benign, I am unable to accept it and am actively working to change it. The size my body is *at this stage in my life* causes me physical pain and makes it impossible to do some of the things that bring me happiness. And I am simply unable to accept that any more than I could accept anything else that took away from my quality of life. Once my weight gets back down to a place where it is no longer taking away from my quality of life, then I will be perfectly accepting of it. Whether that be two pounds less or two hundred pounds less.

Tracy

[superodalisque]

i think i went from just accepting it to liking it when i was pretty young. i was maybe about 12. i started to get fat initially when i was about 6. for a long time my mom and my older sister surrounded me with the idea that being fat was a bad thing . but the more independent i became as a person the more i found that i liked it. i think it helped me a lot that i was in and around the arts even at the age of 12 since my dad worked for blues musicians. lucky for me the arts are in general about alternative ways of thinking. so learning how to explore what i really looked like without reference to what anyone else thought was really helpful.

[fatgirl33]

I love it! I love fat! I find that as I get older & increasingly comfortable with this viewpoint that I've been fostering for the last 10+ years, I find fat (and fat people) more and more attractive, and thin just kind of... well, dull.

I'm at a point now where (and I know I shouldn't say this out loud, but I will...) I find fat is attractive and thin is not. Not to say there aren't attractive thin people, but that all things being equal... well, you get the point (or rather, the curve!).

Brenda

[TallFatSue]

I'd have to admit I like being fat, mostly because obesity has had such great fringe benefits for me. It's forced me to think creatively and independently, it's taught me to see what is and is not truly important in life, and it make me feel big and powerful yet soft and feminine. Every day I thank goodness to live in a country where I have the luxury to be as fat as I am and enjoy such a great quality of life. Methinx my fat has made me a better person. :)

And of course when my husband massages me, it takes a loooong time. Despite the occasional hassles and challenges of living with obesity, my fat just feels so right. :smitten:

[olwen]

I accept it and I like it. I always had, but it's taken me a while to not be as bitter about - this is difficult to explain - to not be as bitter about all the things I couldn't have or couldn't do because of my size. That's the bigger hurdle for me - letting go of the anger. I don't like living in the angry place.

I'd be tempted to take the skinny pill, but I know the aftermath would fuck me up mentally and I'd be back to square one on the bitter front. I would hate everybody all the time and I'd take it out on the people closest to me like I did when I lost the weight I did loose. I almost lost a friend over that too since I didn't like his reactions either, but glad we both got over it and are still close friends.

Also, I'm quite certain that skinny pill would have horrible side effects. Do not want.

[Biglover]

Well since no men have chimed in.... I would never take the skinny pill, or want my GF to take it. Now if there was the fat pill, I would take it in a heartbeat, and hope the GF would too. I really don't care what people say or think about my weight. Being fat and happy, with a fat GF, can't help it, I'm hardwired.

[Zandoz]

No one answer here. In terms of appearance, ehhh...it is what it is. In terms of health, aches & pains, HATE IT. In terms of convenience, other than it's impact on my driving, another ehhh.

On the other hand, do I have any desire to be what society pushes as normal size? Not at all.

[William]

Hi

I accept it, but I have never experienced being skinny. Any negativity in my life comes from Society and it is soon out of my mind as I deal with the rat race.

I do regret some limitations that I have and how much of my weight could a Smart Car really handle on a daily basis? I have thought of getting one..

William


No one answer here. In terms of appearance, ehhh...it is what it is. In terms of health, aches & pains, HATE IT. In terms of convenience, other than it's impact on my driving, another ehhh.

On the other hand, do I have any desire to be what society pushes as normal size? Not at all.

[luscious_lulu]

I accept my fat. I love who I am and think I am attractive, but I would like to lose some weight.

[the hanging belly]

I honestly like the way my fat looks. I quite like being fat, but I guess I have to accept what else comes with it. Yesterday I got told by someone I'm friends with (and like a little more than a friend) that my weight doesn't sit right. I'm tall and all belly but little boobs, and my friend said my weight would only look good if i was short and had big boobs. And he's fat himself! I don't even want big boobs, I like them as they are. I guess thats hard because I've always wanted to find someone who liked my physical appearance at the size I'm at. I think its funny when other people who I don't know or like say things about my weight, but when its a friend or someone who's opinion I value, it kind of hurts. So I guess I LIKE my weight, but have no choice but to ACCEPT what comes with it.

Sorry for the rant, I'm just feeling a little down today.

[chunkeymonkey]

in your journey where are you? do you or are you at the stage of just trying to accept your fat or do you actually like it? i know a lot of people have gone from kind of accepting the societal line that its better to be thin to accepting the size they are. where do you fit on the continuim? if there were a skinny pill would you take it tomorrow? would you be ok with losing for non health oriented reasons or do you feel a bit sad when you drop a few? are you happier when you gain? or are you somewhere in the middle, enjoying it on some days and not so much on others?


Wow great question ! I can actually say if there were a skinny pill I probably would take it. I would for the reason, I am a dreamer and often wonder "what if ". In my head I like to say I love who I am and back in the subconscious I hear imagine what it would be like if you were a size 12 because a size 12 even a 14 is something I have not seen since I was a a child. I have the life experience to know that being skinny won't give me what I want as does being Fat. I know that loving myself for who I am is the most important and along with different weights will come different life experiences. I don't think the grass is any more different on either side however I can see myself grazing to find out. The possibilities of the unknown and human nature on my part.

[Tau]

I honestly like the way my fat looks. I quite like being fat, but I guess I have to accept what else comes with it. Yesterday I got told by someone I'm friends with (and like a little more than a friend) that my weight doesn't sit right. I'm tall and all belly but little boobs, and my friend said my weight would only look good if i was short and had big boobs. And he's fat himself! I don't even want big boobs, I like them as they are. I guess thats hard because I've always wanted to find someone who liked my physical appearance at the size I'm at. I think its funny when other people who I don't know or like say things about my weight, but when its a friend or someone who's opinion I value, it kind of hurts. So I guess I LIKE my weight, but have no choice but to ACCEPT what comes with it.

Sorry for the rant, I'm just feeling a little down today.

*hugz* Don't let that comment hurt you. I've never understood people who talk about one kind of body being right and another wrong. The fact that it exists makes it right - just cos you don't find it attractive doesnt mean there's automatically something wrong with how I happen to be shaped. HB. long as you like it nothing and nobody else matters.

[BarbBBW]

I love being a BBW! I love my size! A few years ago, i would have taken the "skinny pill", but not anymore. I always vary in my sizes from 220lbs to 300+ lbs. I have to say I just adore it at all weights.

[moore2me]

I would opt to be "normal". I have accepted being fat years ago, but life would be much easier if I blended in with the majority of the population. But I would like to emphasize that since I have been fat all my life, being unhappy or frustrated in my current state is useless and would make me more crazy than I already am. So, I do not dwell on things I cannot change. But, since you asked the question, I will answer it truthfully . . .


Being normal weight would also make it easier on health complications I have, as OPs have noted. For example due to my multiple sclerosis, my balance is generally in the "crapper". When I lose my balance & fall down, it takes an a major effort to get me on my feet again (fire dept., inflating air mattress, or mechanical lifting aid, etc.). So, by weighing less, getting me up off the floor would be easier and less of a production.

[ladle]

I accept that I like it

[mossystate]

It is really only recently that I have become scared shitless that I will continue to gain, or not be able to lose some weight. When I was much smaller, I thought about the actual numbers more than I do now. But, because I am nearly 47 years old, and my eating has, at times, become crazy, I respond more to the REALITY of what is happening with my body, and then the normal aging process that is a bucket of cold water in ones face.

Would I take a ' skinny pill '?...no...because my mind does not work the exact same way it did when I was younger. However, I sure as hell hope I will be able to lose some weight. Again...REALITY can't always be self loved away. While I like some of the aspects of my fat, and I would never be thin, I hope to not be too much older with this exact body. If I do continue on with this body, then I hope I can deal.

I don't have thoughts about what I ' should ' look like. I don't care what the mainstream side says...and I don't care what some here might say. I just want to get to a place where the buzzing from both ' sides ' is out of my head...and I live for me. * drags my good self to bed...it's late!...zzzzzzzz *

[Ample Pie]

Every now and again, I get bogged down by the problems that my extra weight can and does bring with it and I think it would be wonderful if I could be skinny. That generally lasts for a second and then I realize how unhappy I'd be, because I genuinely like who I am; I like being fat. The first time the realization hit me, I was a little freaked out because I know I'm supposed to want to be thin. That isn't me tho, I'm a fatty--and I was born to be.

[Weeze]

It looks like a few people touched on it, but I think there's another step too. Accepting it, liking it, and then accepting and becoming COMFORTABLE with the fact that you like it.
It seems like a lot of people can be ok with the idea of a fat person not being uncomfortable with their body, but actually *liking* it? Honey, you're going to have to really defend and stick up for yourself in that battle. Are you ready for it? Time for the big girl pants.
I think this is my biggest issue now. I think i've always LIKED being fat, but it's taking me time to accept the fact that I like it. I feel like not only as a fat person, but as a female in general, that society expects me to be this calorie-counting, poring over vogue, WISHING I could be thin enough to fit into Chanel, obsessing about becoming "perfect."
I think this is the hardest part of the journey. I only have one "real life" friend that i've been open with about my weight and she just doesn't get it. We go out and she obsesses over what she eats, and I just eat what I want. I eat what I want. She knows about Dims, I've shown her around. I've explained everything under the sun. She still doesn't understand. So, how do you get around it? How do you explain, "Well, Actually I don't want to lose weight. Thanks"?
That's the hard part. You're not just defending your body anymore, you're at a point where you're not only defending your body but also defending your interests and WHO YOU ARE.
I am a big girl. I like being a big girl. I got excited as all hell when I noticed I was developing hips. Now, how do I defend myself?

[Ruffie]

It looks like a few people touched on it, but I think there's another step too. Accepting it, liking it, and then accepting and becoming COMFORTABLE with the fact that you like it.
It seems like a lot of people can be ok with the idea of a fat person not being uncomfortable with their body, but actually *liking* it? Honey, you're going to have to really defend and stick up for yourself in that battle. Are you ready for it? Time for the big girl pants.
I think this is my biggest issue now. I think i've always LIKED being fat, but it's taking me time to accept the fact that I like it. I feel like not only as a fat person, but as a female in general, that society expects me to be this calorie-counting, poring over vogue, WISHING I could be thin enough to fit into Chanel, obsessing about becoming "perfect."
I think this is the hardest part of the journey. I only have one "real life" friend that i've been open with about my weight and she just doesn't get it. We go out and she obsesses over what she eats, and I just eat what I want. I eat what I want. She knows about Dims, I've shown her around. I've explained everything under the sun. She still doesn't understand. So, how do you get around it? How do you explain, "Well, Actually I don't want to lose weight. Thanks"?
That's the hard part. You're not just defending your body anymore, you're at a point where you're not only defending your body but also defending your interests and WHO YOU ARE.
I am a big girl. I like being a big girl. I got excited as all hell when I noticed I was developing hips. Now, how do I defend myself?
With her its her issue not yours. And she may not even really be putting it on you so much as she is herself. Lead by example, living your life to the fullest as a big person and she either will get it or not.
For me with people who don't get it I just stand my ground and say this is who and what I am. I have always been a big persona, and that is a part of my identity just as being a caring and loving person, a artist, a mom, a dedicated worker and great friend is part of me. And I have come to realize that most often it is THEIR own issues with themselves and their body issues that come into play when they advise you. I don't defend my right to be just who I am I just live it. I had such a friend who always has a diet for me every time she sees me and after talking with her and trying to get her to see my point she just doesn't get it at all. She is inflicting this damage on her kids which makes me even more mental so I limit contact with her so as not to flip on her and destroy the friendship my husband has with her hubby and her. I just took myself out of the equation. In my opinion if someone cannot accept who you are inside and out then I move on.

[LisaInNC]

I have accepted that I am fat because if I were thin, my big ole head would make me topple over. YAY FAT!!

[thatgirl08]

Is it just me or do more youngish people accept it? Maybe because aches, pains, health stuff hasn't kicked in yet?

[Tad]

Is it just me or do more youngish people accept it? Maybe because aches, pains, health stuff hasn't kicked in yet?

I'd guess a few reasons:

- what you said
- more probably found Dimensions or other online size acceptance at a younger age, so didn't spend as many years thinking that nobody accepted it.
- our population is fatter, both on average and the portion of people who are rather fat, especially amongst youth, is much higher than it was a couple of decades ago. So young people have grown up probably feeling less out of the norm.

[superodalisque]

It looks like a few people touched on it, but I think there's another step too. Accepting it, liking it, and then accepting and becoming COMFORTABLE with the fact that you like it.
It seems like a lot of people can be ok with the idea of a fat person not being uncomfortable with their body, but actually *liking* it? Honey, you're going to have to really defend and stick up for yourself in that battle. Are you ready for it? Time for the big girl pants.
I think this is my biggest issue now. I think i've always LIKED being fat, but it's taking me time to accept the fact that I like it. I feel like not only as a fat person, but as a female in general, that society expects me to be this calorie-counting, poring over vogue, WISHING I could be thin enough to fit into Chanel, obsessing about becoming "perfect."
I think this is the hardest part of the journey. I only have one "real life" friend that i've been open with about my weight and she just doesn't get it. We go out and she obsesses over what she eats, and I just eat what I want. I eat what I want. She knows about Dims, I've shown her around. I've explained everything under the sun. She still doesn't understand. So, how do you get around it? How do you explain, "Well, Actually I don't want to lose weight. Thanks"?
That's the hard part. You're not just defending your body anymore, you're at a point where you're not only defending your body but also defending your interests and WHO YOU ARE.
I am a big girl. I like being a big girl. I got excited as all hell when I noticed I was developing hips. Now, how do I defend myself?

yes, my hardest issue right now is that if i ever say i like it a lot of people both fat and thin look at me as though i've lost my marbles. also i know that my fat and the health issues i have are not related. i'm lucky that i have genetics on my side but i've also worked at it. i've been active and i have a varied diet. i also try my best to maintain my health and go to the doctor regularly. as i get older i think i get better with all of those things. and hopefully i'll be able to keep it going and not give up --especially now that things are not quite as easy.

[BeautifulPoeticDisaster]

I like my body, but I dislike limitations because of it.


This 100000% this.

I am beautiful. Fuck society. But damn it all, my body hurts and I cannot live the life I want to live. I want to scuba dive, I want to hike into the wilderness, I want to going camping for a week and not have to worry about supersized hygiene or sleeping on the ground for a week, I want to be able to shop in the same country I live in!!!!! I long to not have my fat dictate what I can and cannot do.

I don't really have a desire to be thin. I'd be happy if there was a pill that made me 250lbs for the rest of my life. But yeah, I'd take the thin pill cos being thin would be better than where I am at now.

[Surlysomething]

Love/hate.

Most days I don't think about it, I just go about my business. Other days it's all I can think about. But that's with everyone i'm pretty sure. I do enjoy that I look all woman. Curves and boobs and a booty. I can't imagine being skin and bones and finding that feminine at all. Thank god for Marilyn Monroe. ;)

[elle camino]

i'd take the thin pill because, as i've mentioned every time i've seen this topic surface around here, of clothes.
i seriously will lay around daydreaming about outfits i'd wear if i could fit into them. daily.
the boys thing would be a side benefit - i'm into chubby/fat guys, and in my experience they tend to go for skinny girls. so it'd be nice to be desired by guys i'm actually really attracted to from the get-go.

with that said, whether i accept my fat or like it really depends on the day, the season, my mood, the cosmos, who knows. i generally think i'm pretty alright looking, and on other women i almost universally like the way fat looks. but i definitely have days where i really wish the skinny pill existed. like everyone else who's answered, pretty much.

[olwen]

It looks like a few people touched on it, but I think there's another step too. Accepting it, liking it, and then accepting and becoming COMFORTABLE with the fact that you like it.
It seems like a lot of people can be ok with the idea of a fat person not being uncomfortable with their body, but actually *liking* it? Honey, you're going to have to really defend and stick up for yourself in that battle. Are you ready for it? Time for the big girl pants.
I think this is my biggest issue now. I think i've always LIKED being fat, but it's taking me time to accept the fact that I like it. I feel like not only as a fat person, but as a female in general, that society expects me to be this calorie-counting, poring over vogue, WISHING I could be thin enough to fit into Chanel, obsessing about becoming "perfect."
I think this is the hardest part of the journey. I only have one "real life" friend that i've been open with about my weight and she just doesn't get it. We go out and she obsesses over what she eats, and I just eat what I want. I eat what I want. She knows about Dims, I've shown her around. I've explained everything under the sun. She still doesn't understand. So, how do you get around it? How do you explain, "Well, Actually I don't want to lose weight. Thanks"?
That's the hard part. You're not just defending your body anymore, you're at a point where you're not only defending your body but also defending your interests and WHO YOU ARE.
I am a big girl. I like being a big girl. I got excited as all hell when I noticed I was developing hips. Now, how do I defend myself?

You shouldn't have to defend yourself. None of us should. That seems like a good answer for people who don't get it too. Either they get it or they don't. They may never get it. Easier to just limit contact with people who constantly question your existence or the way you live your life.

[PhatChk]

I like my body, but I dislike limitations because of it.

I am at the same place :(

[thatgirl08]

I'd guess a few reasons:

- what you said
- more probably found Dimensions or other online size acceptance at a younger age, so didn't spend as many years thinking that nobody accepted it.
- our population is fatter, both on average and the portion of people who are rather fat, especially amongst youth, is much higher than it was a couple of decades ago. So young people have grown up probably feeling less out of the norm.

Yeah, that's true. It does concern me that maybe I'm able to accept it now because I don't have very many negative effects, but in the future I feel like I might not be as accepting of myself again, because honestly, there are associated problems. Aches & pains/medical problems does concern me as I get older. I'm only 18, but time flies and I don't want to be in the position where I have to choose WLS just to live a comfortable life. (No offense meant to those who have had WLS, I just don't want to have to use that unless absolutely unavoidably necessary for personal reasons.)

[PhatChk]

This 100000% this.

I am beautiful. Fuck society. But damn it all, my body hurts and I cannot live the life I want to live. I want to scuba dive, I want to hike into the wilderness, I want to going camping for a week and not have to worry about supersized hygiene or sleeping on the ground for a week, I want to be able to shop in the same country I live in!!!!! I long to not have my fat dictate what I can and cannot do.

I don't really have a desire to be thin. I'd be happy if there was a pill that made me 250lbs for the rest of my life. But yeah, I'd take the thin pill cos being thin would be better than where I am at now.

I know exactly what you mean. I love my body how soft and curvy it is. However I can't go to the mall because the staring gets so bad it just depresses me. I want to go to different movie theater and amusement park but I can't. I would settle for 300 pounds.

[Tracy]

I love my body just the way it is. This fat that I carry around has become a part of who I am since I was a young girl. Yes there are days that get me down because do I encounter people who are living in their own perfect "thin world" who have no clue how hurtful their comments or looks can be. Its really sad that the world we live in is so f****d up that we as humans have to be placed under so much pressure. Again I ask who gave that person who looks down on me the right to judge me or anyone else for that matter? So nope I would not take the skinny pill. If you don't like me when I'm fat your sure as hell not going to like me when I'm skinny. I'm still the same person either way. I got an email this morning from my boss. I tried to upload the pic but couldn't get it to reduce down to the right size. But anyway it was a picture of a FAT barbie reclining on a couch with the words "glad it finally happened to her" written above it. I did not appreciate my female boss sending it to me. It really pissed me off! :mad: Hence the rant. :doh: Apologizing for the rant. Just blowing off steam.

[TallFatSue]

I like this thread. It made me think of the Xmen - the 2nd particulary. When Nightshade asks Mystique why, if she can look like everybody else, if she can hide her mutation, she chooses not. and her answer, to this day, absolutely moves me. She very simply say, "Because we shouldn't have to." Now fat people arent mutants with super powers - but boy do I wish ;) - but we shouldnt have to apologise for how we are or make excuses just for existing.
What? We fat people have no super powers? Sure hope my boss doesn't find out! :D

That's a great quote from Mystique. I don't throw my fat in everyone's face (even though some would love that ;) ), but I most definitely do not hide my fat. "Because I shouldn't have to." My size is part of me, and I happen to enjoy how I've turned out. Life is good. :)

There's a great quote from Popeye too. "I am what I am." (Never could understand why he went gaga over hyperthin Olive Oyl though.) ;)

[Miss Jayde]

I love my fat, and am actively getting bigger. But i'm still only a lightweight at just under 150 pounds. I love getting bigger and that is a choice I have made...to deliberately take myself from skinny to now fat. But I do understand that you can be fat enough that is restricts your entire lifestyle and dictates what you can and cant do.
I want to get as fat as possible. But only to the point I can still maintain my current lifestyle and quality of life.

[sharondell]

dont think im at the stage where i accept the way i look in fact if im totaly honest i hate it, not sure when or where acceptance comes from ive been a uk 8 and a 16 , if i could take a pill and be thin id do it in a heart beat would i be happy im not sure, i do know that when i diet to lose weight i always seem to sabatarge myself and end up back where i started, most of the time i dont think about my weight [190lb] other times im obsessed with it but i love food too much to live with out it maybe im just mad lol

[shellbelle]

this is a really good question for me to answer right now. i'm sorry if my response doesn't make a lot of sense... the truth is, it's something i'm thinking a lot about lately, and yeah, so my thoughts and ideas about it are relatively jumbled.

i rarely ever discuss being fat outloud. for the most part, in my daily life and in my social interactions with people, i rarely ever even think about being fat because it's so streamlined into my identity, and i guess i'm not a very body conscious person. for the most part, i feel like a lot of my issues with my weight and fatness aren't internal, but are mostly affected by external problems. stupid things like not fitting into TINYTINYTINY desks at my school, other people's awful attitudes, and here's one that probably goes without saying: shopping. at the core of myself, i think i'm a beautiful person, but sometimes, after a day where it doesn't seem like the world was meant for me to (literally) fit into it, that can mentally wear on how i look at myself. i don't think this is a hurdle i'll ever really get over because i don't think the problem is ME. i think that we live in a pretty anti-fat world, and as an incredibly active person, i'll have a hard time avoiding that. it's definitely going to take time and life experience for me to learn how to cope with that, and i don't expect it to happen overnight, if at all. so long story short, would i take the skinny pill? depends on how awful of a day i've had.

but for the most part, besides all that crap, yeah, i think i'm pretty much hot shit as is.

[JMNYC]

I am not yet close to being at the point of acceptance. I hope to one day get there, but as of yet I hate my body most days and cannot find too much about it that makes me happy about being fat. I do very much want to accept myself but am not sure how to get there...:blush:

I will share something personal with you...

In the same way an alcoholic abstains from drinking or a gambler from placing bets, I abstain from picking on my body in any way. If NO time is spent examining and criticizing my body, my face, my nose, that alone creates space for at least a modicum of self-acceptance. I'm not going to get into it here, but it is something I have struggled with since very early childhood, beginning with two family members' declaration of war against my then-pudgy 7-year-old body.

I am also accountable to two people---"I have been abstinent since March 10." And they ask me, "How's it going? Still abstinent?" I say yes...

Not easy, but easier when you commit to it and tell others of your endeavor.

It's been 5 weeks for me and the difference is remarkable. Just like pulling a nail from the paw---the absence of hate for the man in the mirror is like night and day. No, you don't become a big-headed bastard. On the contrary, I am just like anyone else. Not a model, not perfect. Just me, as I am. I eat well. I exercise daily. I wear the best clothes I can. I wash the face, file the nails, keep decent. I'm doing my best with what I have, which is all anyone can ask of me.

Try it for even a day. See how long you can do without remarking on your belly, face, legs, hair, age, weight. Or, if you catch yourself doing it, say, "Whoops! There I go!" and STOP.

Make sure you tell a friend or two, and tell them to ask how it's going.

Not meant in any way to tell you what to do or suggest you be different...just felt moved to share, having been there.

:)

[Green Eyed Fairy]

I will share something personal with you...

In the same way an alcoholic abstains from drinking or a gambler from placing bets, I abstain from picking on my body in any way. If NO time is spent examining and criticizing my body, my face, my nose, that alone creates space for at least a modicum of self-acceptance. I'm not going to get into it here, but it is something I have struggled with since very early childhood, beginning with two family members' declaration of war against my then-pudgy 7-year-old body.

I am also accountable to two people---"I have been abstinent since March 10." And they ask me, "How's it going? Still abstinent?" I say yes...

Not easy, but easier when you commit to it and tell others of your endeavor.

It's been 5 weeks for me and the difference is remarkable. Just like pulling a nail from the paw---the absence of hate for the man in the mirror is like night and day. No, you don't become a big-headed bastard. On the contrary, I am just like anyone else. Not a model, not perfect. Just me, as I am. I eat well. I exercise daily. I wear the best clothes I can. I wash the face, file the nails, keep decent. I'm doing my best with what I have, which is all anyone can ask of me.

Try it for even a day. See how long you can do without remarking on your belly, face, legs, hair, age, weight. Or, if you catch yourself doing it, say, "Whoops! There I go!" and STOP.

Make sure you tell a friend or two, and tell them to ask how it's going.

Not meant in any way to tell you what to do or suggest you be different...just felt moved to share, having been there.

:)

Thank you. One of the most excellent posts on Dimensions...aside from that one in the FA thread about how much you love your wife :) :bow:

[AnnMarie]

Recent events have caused me to really evaluate how I feel about me, my fat body, others and their feeling on their fat bodies, etc.

The good news, for me, is that all this evaluation has left me feeling more firmly planted in my own sense of self, including my fat body, than I ever have been.

I like being me, and I am fat. I guess part of that computes to "I like being fat" - but I can't separate the issues, so it's really not a valid statement.



I wouldn't take the pill.

[BarbBBW]

Recent events have caused me to really evaluate how I feel about me, my fat body, others and their feeling on their fat bodies, etc.

The good news, for me, is that all this evaluation has left me feeling more firmly planted in my own sense of self, including my fat body, than I ever have been.

I like being me, and I am fat. I guess part of that computes to "I like being fat" - but I can't separate the issues, so it's really not a valid statement.



I wouldn't take the pill.
YAY!!!! great post!! Good for you!!!!!!! love it

[katherine22]

in your journey where are you? do you or are you at the stage of just trying to accept your fat or do you actually like it? i know a lot of people have gone from kind of accepting the societal line that its better to be thin to accepting the size they are. where do you fit on the continuim? if there were a skinny pill would you take it tomorrow? would you be ok with losing for non health oriented reasons or do you feel a bit sad when you drop a few? are you happier when you gain? or are you somewhere in the middle, enjoying it on some days and not so much on others?


My God, it took me 40 years to figure out that fat was beautiful. What an idiot I was roaming through every art museum in Europe with room after room of fat nudes hanging on the walls, and I could not shake off that cultural conditioning perpetrated by the fashion industry. I LOVE EVERY FAT INCH OF MYSELF. I get up every morning and thank God that I don't have cancer. I LOVE BEING A FAT WOMAN in that I enjoy good food, exercise wearing nice clothes , being with a man who enjoys my jiggly fat body and let the pounds fall where they may.

[truebebeblue]

For the most part... I like it. I am very mobile flexible and "normal" at THIS weight. When I was 200 lbs heavier I cannot say the same..Coming from being super sized (nearly 500 lbs) to mid sized is interesting in alot of ways.
Physically,socially,mentally... I feel pretty fucking sexy most days.
Although,
I don't think as an american woman I am allowed to like my body too easily like I have to be militant almost in my acceptance because otherwise my body will just get disected by societie's ideas of normal and attractive.
I feel like I can't completely explain how I feel about it....maybe because it is evolving.

True

[truebebeblue]

For the most part... I like it. I am very mobile flexible and "normal" at THIS weight. When I was 200 lbs heavier I cannot say the same..Coming from being super sized (nearly 500 lbs) to mid sized is interesting in alot of ways.
Physically,socially,mentally... I feel pretty fucking sexy most days.
Although,
I don't think as an american woman I am allowed to like my body too easily like I have to be militant almost in my acceptance because otherwise my body will just get disected by societie's ideas of normal and attractive.
I feel like I can't completely explain how I feel about it....maybe because it is evolving.

True

[katherine22]

For the most part... I like it. I am very mobile flexible and "normal" at THIS weight. When I was 200 lbs heavier I cannot say the same..Coming from being super sized (nearly 500 lbs) to mid sized is interesting in alot of ways.
Physically,socially,mentally... I feel pretty fucking sexy most days.
Although,
I don't think as an american woman I am allowed to like my body too easily like I have to be militant almost in my acceptance because otherwise my body will just get disected by societie's ideas of normal and attractive.
I feel like I can't completely explain how I feel about it....maybe because it is evolving.

True

Of course you are not allowed to like your body, if you do how are they going to get you to go to the store?

[Tracii]

I do like the fact that I am fat again I really don't know why exactly.
I accept it quite well this time.I used to hate being fat due to the societal norms and everybody telling me how bad being fat was.
Trying to explain to people you want to be fat really is hard to do.

[Fyreflyintheskye]

I like it, but I accept that not everyone does.

[William]

Hi

Do you care that many people do not accept Fatness? You hear some Fat People say that they do not care what others think?

William



I like it, but I accept that not everyone does.

[aussieamazonwoman]

Hi there,

A perspective from a newbie...

I think in my case, I have come to accept many things about myself as I have hit my mid thirties (age wise that is).

I have learnt to love the fact I am 6 foot 1 inches tall, I've learnt to accept that life is full of joy and pain and interesting journeys - this was a big one for me...for many years when I was younger, I didn't want to feel anything. And while some days I still feel YucK about being a big girl, I'm pretty ok with myself and even have moments where I love every bit of my curves.

Kay

[1love_emily]

in your journey where are you? do you or are you at the stage of just trying to accept your fat or do you actually like it? i know a lot of people have gone from kind of accepting the societal line that its better to be thin to accepting the size they are. where do you fit on the continuim? if there were a skinny pill would you take it tomorrow? would you be ok with losing for non health oriented reasons or do you feel a bit sad when you drop a few? are you happier when you gain? or are you somewhere in the middle, enjoying it on some days and not so much on others?

I've always been a chubby kid, from the day I was born, till today... When I was born, I was so big, the doctor had to pull on my shoulders, HARD, to deliver me. This left me with a permanent reminder of what is coming to be a challenging life.

Starting out at 10 lbs, 10 ounces is where I began.

At my heaviest, I was a sophomore/junior in high school.

Proportionately, I was my smallest during middle school..

And i always hated myself. I always sought to be skinny and beautiful like all of my friends. I hated not being able to just squish into the back of a car, or run around and play tag or something. Instead, I held back. I wanted to change myself. I tried this summer, and I did lose some weight. I gained it back on as school came around.

But one day..

I looked in the mirror and realized that I have accepted where I am. I am currently 305 pounds. I have flabby thighs, chunky arms, and a belly. My shoulders slope funny from my choppy entrance to the world. I have a double chin, and really round cheeks. But you know what? I'm also really pretty.

I have accepted myself, and I am beginning to see how beautiful I really am, inside and out.

[BBW_Curious1]

in your journey where are you? do you or are you at the stage of just trying to accept your fat or do you actually like it? i know a lot of people have gone from kind of accepting the societal line that its better to be thin to accepting the size they are. where do you fit on the continuim? if there were a skinny pill would you take it tomorrow? would you be ok with losing for non health oriented reasons or do you feel a bit sad when you drop a few? are you happier when you gain? or are you somewhere in the middle, enjoying it on some days and not so much on others?

I would say I'm somewhere in the middle--enjoying it on some days and not so much on others.

I always LOVE me because well...I'm fabulous, but I admit that there are days when I avoid full length mirrors and cameras like the plague...

[CastingPearls]

I love my fat. I love my roundness and soft squishieness and almost fluidity. It all feels luxurious and decadent to me.

[ThinkingFA]

My wife as much as took the fat pill. Through Weight Watchers and countless hours at the gym she's lost 145 lbs in 18 months. The doctor flagged some small health issues that she decided to handle before they became big ones. I'm happy for her and proud of her from this perspective. If only she could have such focus on our debt problem.

Problem is I hate everything about this. The way she looks has a lot to do with it. More significantly, she's becoming the calorie obsessed, exercise obsessed woman I tried to avoid as a younger man. She's a part of some social cliques she used to criticize because they snubbed her for her former size. She loves the phoney drama of the Biggest Loser that she used to hate. She used to accept that a fat person could accept and love his or her fat. Now she rejects that idea, along with my liking of it.

I challenge the idea that a skinny pill wouldn't change a person. I'm just waiting for the day when she starts thinking of fat as a character flaw.

[blueeyedevie]

If there was a pill I could take to drop down to 250 I would take that pill. I try very hard to like me for what "me" but it is so hard. I have recently gained back almost 30 lbs. Putting me at 446. I work so hard to loose the weight and then stupidly I put it back on. I don't want to loose weight to fit in, find love are any of the varies reasons fat women make up. I have two reasons, why I would love to hit 250. One for the ability to hold a job and not be in constant pain, and two to be healthy enough to have a child. I have a heart condition that makes it very shaky thought at this weight. The only reason I do feel sad when I loose weight is because My guy once said I was his perfect girl ( at 665) and I know for him I will never be that perfect girl again. Ill be the person he loves but never that dream girl I was. LOL am I happy when I gain, I hate gaining, but I love to eat. Now that would be a pill I would take ( eat all you want and stay the same weight you want to be)...
in your journey where are you? do you or are you at the stage of just trying to accept your fat or do you actually like it? i know a lot of people have gone from kind of accepting the societal line that its better to be thin to accepting the size they are. where do you fit on the continuim? if there were a skinny pill would you take it tomorrow? would you be ok with losing for non health oriented reasons or do you feel a bit sad when you drop a few? are you happier when you gain? or are you somewhere in the middle, enjoying it on some days and not so much on others?

[mossystate]

My wife as much as took the fat pill. Through Weight Watchers and countless hours at the gym she's lost 145 lbs in 18 months. The doctor flagged some small health issues that she decided to handle before they became big ones. I'm happy for her and proud of her from this perspective. If only she could have such focus on our debt problem.

Problem is I hate everything about this. The way she looks has a lot to do with it. More significantly, she's becoming the calorie obsessed, exercise obsessed woman I tried to avoid as a younger man. She's a part of some social cliques she used to criticize because they snubbed her for her former size. She loves the phoney drama of the Biggest Loser that she used to hate. She used to accept that a fat person could accept and love his or her fat. Now she rejects that idea, along with my liking of it.

I challenge the idea that a skinny pill wouldn't change a person. I'm just waiting for the day when she starts thinking of fat as a character flaw.

You hate everything about this, and are no longer attracted to her at all ( read that in another thread ). I hope she knows it.

[littlefairywren]

I love my fat. I love my roundness and soft squishieness and almost fluidity. It all feels luxurious and decadent to me.

Yes, ditto!
For me, my curves and big hips etc, make me feel very feminine and womanly.

[ThinkingFA]

You hate everything about this, and are no longer attracted to her at all ( read that in another thread ). I hope she knows it.

It doesn't bother her any more. Our "marital embrace" is as intense as it ever was. Ultimately all she wants is to feel love and closeness, and she gets that. The best way I have of putting this is that I'm learning the difference between desire and lust. As much as it sucks now, I'm hoping to move beyond the want of visual and tactile stimulation to something even deeper and more abiding than we had before. Does that make any sense?

[fluffyandcute]

I have come to accept it. I have been large all my life since I was a kid. I was just made to be a BBW!

[HayleeRose]

I Accept it, and I am almost to the point of liking it. It's on a day to day basis though. Life is just so much better if you love yourself. If you worry too much about food, or weight, or clothse, you waste your life away.

[Sweetnlow]

I would take the magic slim pill but it would not be for me but for other people. would live longer and take care of my family not that I have any kids by now but i want to in the future. If you are fat people expect you do have the will to lose weight. They tell you about this and that diet and they tell you how to eat right and exercise. The slim pill would silent all those people. I would no longer be different. I would be one of them. That is what i long for the most. To be normal. No one would look at me and think "she is fat". I would fit into work wear and could to stuff that I'm too heavy for at the moment, like boxing. I love boxing but its a bit difficult to move fast at 280 pounds. However I don't think losing weight to average size would make me happier as a person or that I would be luckier. I try to dress well and take care of myself. Everyday I look in the mirror and I try to see the things I like about my body like my breasts and my arms. I know I am fat but it doesn't bother me that much. I know I'm overeating and I try to figure out why, what it is I compensate for. I think I will become "normal" one day but i would still be the same person inside.

[superodalisque]

definitely for less worrying and more enjoyment

[LovelyLiz]

I accept it. To say I like it would be too strong - tho there are absolutely aspects of it that I do like, and I am personally very comfortable in my own skin and can appreciate my own version of beauty that comes in a me-sized package. And I also realize that many guys I would be open to dating are not interested in dating me (or are simply not sexually attracted to me) because I'm fat. So, sometimes "like" is not how I feel about my body; tho even then I still accept myself.

[khrestel]

I love it. I loved it before I could accept it and I actually still have problems accepting that I love it. I've been thinking of that thin-pill for years and I think if I had the opportunity I would take it. I wouldn't like it but to be accepted and liked and not causing worries for the people around me... I guess it would be worth it.

[Vespertine]

I will say I like it- perhaps not every minute, but significantly. I would surely miss some aspects of my body if i became magically thin. Though I may be on the more hetero end of the kinsey scale, when I find other women attractive they are almost always fat and I have liked many bhm.

But I would definitely take a skinny pill. No amount of my own self appreciation can hold up against the trouble finding clothes, partners, jobs, the list goes on. The cost benefit ratio is...I can't think of a descriptor that doesn't induce depression so I leave it here.

[LovelyLiz]

I will say I like it- perhaps not every minute, but significantly. I would surely miss some aspects of my body if i became magically thin. Though I may be on the more hetero end of the kinsey scale, when I find other women attractive they are almost always fat and I have liked many bhm.

But I would definitely take a skinny pill. No amount of my own self appreciation can hold up against the trouble finding clothes, partners, jobs, the list goes on. The cost benefit ratio is...I can't think of a descriptor that doesn't induce depression so I leave it here.

I change my answer to this. :) You said what I was trying to say much better than I could have!

[butch]

i just had a thought. This question seems kind of silly to me as someone who has been fat their entire life, and I just realized it, even as I've had my own struggle to accept myself fat. I don't ever question any other aspect of my being that was apparent since my earliest memory, so why should I not be perfectly fine and dandy with my fat? I know no other way of life, and had I been thin my whole life, no one would ask me if I accept it or like it, because that would sound silly.

So, while I know the question is not silly, the fact that I have to consider this at all is silly, in a fat-hating world. No offense to the OP or the responders meant, it is more a 'silly' directed at a world with such a narrow perspective.

BTW, now I adore my fat body, and my whole life. I wouldn't want it any other way, even when I have to navigate a world that isn't made for my fat body. It feels so liberating to feel that to my marrow, and to have so many supportive folks in my life who feel similarly.

[superodalisque]

i just had a thought. This question seems kind of silly to me as someone who has been fat their entire life, and I just realized it, even as I've had my own struggle to accept myself fat. I don't ever question any other aspect of my being that was apparent since my earliest memory, so why should I not be perfectly fine and dandy with my fat? I know no other way of life, and had I been thin my whole life, no one would ask me if I accept it or like it, because that would sound silly.

So, while I know the question is not silly, the fact that I have to consider this at all is silly, in a fat-hating world. No offense to the OP or the responders meant, it is more a 'silly' directed at a world with such a narrow perspective.

BTW, now I adore my fat body, and my whole life. I wouldn't want it any other way, even when I have to navigate a world that isn't made for my fat body. It feels so liberating to feel that to my marrow, and to have so many supportive folks in my life who feel similarly.

this op thinks that response is just perfect!

[CarlaSixx]

I accept it. I don't love it or anything, but I,like others would miss parts of my look if I got skinny. If I could get skinny and not look like a terminally ill patient, I would do it in half a heartbeat. If my skin, hair, and overall glow could stick around while I would be skinny, I would choose that option. The more weight I lose though, the more sick I look. And I'd rather look fat and glowing than thin and dull.

Definitely there would be some awesome tradeoffs for being thinner, but I don't think I would like my reflection more than I do right now if I weren't fat.

[Tania]

What's fat? What's thin? What's acceptable size/health/fatness/weight/shape/blah blah blah? I think it's super-subjective. "Fat" can be a simple concept or a tremendously complicated, interrelational one. A person can be ok with one conception of fat but not be ok with others. A person can be ok with some degrees of fat or thin but not be ok with others.

Those who have always been "fat" may have different physical expectations of themselves than those who have not. Those who have always FELT "fat" may see themselves differently than they see others, and others see them. Some people are ok with certain degrees of fat, but not others. Sometimes it's not even really about "fat" or even size, though people often substitute "fat" or weight issues for other shit that's going on physically or mentally.

Right now, I'm technically "fat" but I feel like I've already taken the thin pill. I've been much smaller, but I've also been MUCH bigger. 220 was a horror when I was on the gain, but now it's a beautiful number. I don't think I've ever been quite this healthy or quite this happy with the way I feel and look. So not only do I accept my current fatness, most of the time I actually kinda like it.

[b0nnie]

I think I have always liked it, but I had to come to terms that it was ok for me to like it. When I was younger I liked how I looked but would see myself thru the eyes of others and pick at this or that….I’d find the flaws that I read about in magazines and saw on tv. I always assumed that there was something wrong with me because I didn’t see my body as something bad, so I was basically unhappy with the fact that I wasn’t unhappy with my body until I came across the whole “bbw community”. When I started joining bbw sites, I saw that I wasn’t alone in my thinking and that helped me realize that it was ok for me to be happy with being fat.

So to answer your question, no I would not take a skinny pill. I really like my body how it is and more importantly I’m finally at peace with the fact that I do like my fat.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

i just had a thought. This question seems kind of silly to me as someone who has been fat their entire life, and I just realized it, even as I've had my own struggle to accept myself fat. I don't ever question any other aspect of my being that was apparent since my earliest memory, so why should I not be perfectly fine and dandy with my fat? I know no other way of life, and had I been thin my whole life, no one would ask me if I accept it or like it, because that would sound silly.

So, while I know the question is not silly, the fact that I have to consider this at all is silly, in a fat-hating world. No offense to the OP or the responders meant, it is more a 'silly' directed at a world with such a narrow perspective.

BTW, now I adore my fat body, and my whole life. I wouldn't want it any other way, even when I have to navigate a world that isn't made for my fat body. It feels so liberating to feel that to my marrow, and to have so many supportive folks in my life who feel similarly.


Such an apparent truth that has escaped so many for so long (myself included)......that seems like a tragedy to me.

[Sweetie]

On a good day, I'm accepting myself as I am and feel attractive. On a bad day, not so much.

In 2003, I weight 420 and underwent WLS. I went to a low of 268, and hover between 280-290 today. At 420, I was in constant physical pain and distress. I had trouble breathing, couldn't move around very well and didn't fit in the drivers set of my car, which was at the time a 1991 Mercury Grand Marquis. I was very physically unhappy and emotionally unhappy.

Today, I can move around much easier. I rarely have pain, I can breath, and I can fit in the driver's set of my car. I am grateful for the way the weightloss has made my body have less pain, and that I can fit in the drivers seat of my car.

I am NOT HAPPY with the loose skin. I have to admit that I miss my breasts being full. Now they are so soft and flappy and have such little volume. They were the one part of my body that I felt made me attractive as a woman.

The point I'm trying to make is this...no matter where you are in your life and what size you are there will always be some things that please you about your body and some things that won't. I have come to the realization that I need to just be glad that I'm alive, focus on the things that I DO LIKE ABOUT MY BODY, and just be grateful that I have good friends, a wonderful man, an awesome son, and a good family...oh, and that I found this site!:)

[KittyKitten]

Right now, I am 27 years old. I generally like my body, most of it, but there are areas that I am not too happy with and wish was more toned. I dislike my belly, I wish it was more tight. In high school I was a size 3/5, but I don't want to go back to that size as I was almost starving. I love my curves because I feel very feminine and sexy.

[LalaCity]

I think I have come to accept it, but I hate that I can't seem to like it. I still look at slim women and feel that I was meant to be like them, that something went terribly wrong with my childhood, my parenting, whatever, and that I didn't end up with the body I "should have had"..

I don't think that I aesthetically like myself at all this way and I may never be able to do so. But I do hold out hope that this attitude can slowly change in me.

[elina86]

I have accepted my fat and I love being fat.
In fact, I'm planning to get bigger all the time,
and I don't care if others don't like it.

[rubenesquehunny]

:D Very Much Love It!! Once I decided to stop living for the concept that others gave me and instead focused on what made me happy, my life turned around and I now can see how beautiful I am (not to sound concieded, just saying I try to see the beautiful things about myself) and I don't have to change for anyone but me!:happy:

[PeanutButterfly]

What's fat? What's thin? What's acceptable size/health/fatness/weight/shape/blah blah blah? I think it's super-subjective. "Fat" can be a simple concept or a tremendously complicated, interrelational one. A person can be ok with one conception of fat but not be ok with others. A person can be ok with some degrees of fat or thin but not be ok with others.

Those who have always been "fat" may have different physical expectations of themselves than those who have not. Those who have always FELT "fat" may see themselves differently than they see others, and others see them. Some people are ok with certain degrees of fat, but not others. Sometimes it's not even really about "fat" or even size, though people often substitute "fat" or weight issues for other shit that's going on physically or mentally.

Right now, I'm technically "fat" but I feel like I've already taken the thin pill. I've been much smaller, but I've also been MUCH bigger. 220 was a horror when I was on the gain, but now it's a beautiful number. I don't think I've ever been quite this healthy or quite this happy with the way I feel and look. So not only do I accept my current fatness, most of the time I actually kinda like it.

This is a really great point and pretty much sums up the way I feel. I've always been fat and while I can't say I've always loved it when I did go down to 165 in high school I just didn't feel like me. I could have kept losing weight but something deep inside me wouldn't let me. I think part of me was scared about life as "one of them", the thin girls. Because growing up fat has shaped me so much, brought me to Dims, brought me a deeper insight into the world and given me a passion for the size acceptance movement, I was really nervous about it changing me. Now it seems a little ridiculous, but I'll never forget standing on the cusp between chubby and normal and picking chubby.

But like Tania said, weight and fat is all relative. I was at 180 almost my entire teenage years. Only recently did I go up to 220 and realize how much I liked my body at 180. I thought 180 was enormous in high school and had a lot of days where I would have taken that skinny pill in a heart beat (I think I just liked the idea of being "normal" but like I said if it actually happened I would have been very conflicted). I look at pictures of myself at 180 and really like how I looked. I'm actually mad at myself that I spent so many years unhappy with my body when I should have been appreciating all the beautiful things I notice now. So to answer the OP, I would only take a skinny pill if I coud lose about 30 lbs but thats it. I wouldn't want to go under 190 unless I had to for medical reasons.

[1love_emily]

I tell myself that I love myself. I know 70% of the time it's true. But that 30% sucks. The days when I feel like no one will love me, the days when I feel like nothing looks good, the days I feel untalented and worthless... all those types of days are overwhelming. But I have to tell myself to stay strong and carry on because one day everything will get better.

[hiddenexposure]

I tell myself that I love myself. I know 70% of the time it's true. But that 30% sucks. The days when I feel like no one will love me, the days when I feel like nothing looks good, the days I feel untalented and worthless... all those types of days are overwhelming. But I have to tell myself to stay strong and carry on because one day everything will get better.

that is how i feel about 100% of the time.
i have really started trying to take better care of myself, working out more consistently and eating better. i really can tell the difference and have shed a great deal of inches from my frame. my problem is that i still do not see the changes, if it were not for photos i would never know what i actually look like. i've moved beyond that hate and wounds that i have carried around with me for years and while i'm still working on it i am happy that 70% of the time i'm in love with me it's better than the 30% i used to love 18 months ago.

[mel]

in your journey where are you? do you or are you at the stage of just trying to accept your fat or do you actually like it? i know a lot of people have gone from kind of accepting the societal line that its better to be thin to accepting the size they are. where do you fit on the continuim? if there were a skinny pill would you take it tomorrow? would you be ok with losing for non health oriented reasons or do you feel a bit sad when you drop a few? are you happier when you gain? or are you somewhere in the middle, enjoying it on some days and not so much on others?

I accept it. I cant say I "like it" but it does come in handy when my hands are cold :) I guess because I have gained quite abit (IMO) recently..my body hurts a little more. My knees are really aching lately..I need to get out and walk and get them some additional movement perhaps.

If there was a skinny pill, I would probably take it...BUT I wouldnt want to be too skinny....I like curves and I don't want to lose all of them. Maybe I would cute the pill in half :P

I don't worry about it as I did in the past and actually in last couple of years I do see beauty in the "fat".

Are we ever happy?? argh lol

[Lamia]

I would take the skinny pill out of curiosity. I've never be thin as an adult. I've accepted myself as I am but it's not fun having aches and pains and not being able to ride a rollercoaster.

[Kamily]

Im happy with the size that I am right now. Now back in my younger days it was a struggle with all the teasing and name calling but as an adult I dont get that anymore.

I realize that I've never been a size 10 and never will be unless I starve myself and make myself miserable to make other people accept me. Why do that to yourself? Life is too short to worry about what other people think about me. You either accept me 100% or move outta my way. I have no use for you.

[ConnieLynn]

I like myself. I accept myself. My weight isn't who I am. I am a super curvy, big assed goddess, but my body doesn't define me. Other people don't define me. The perceptions of John Q Public don't define me. Frankly, I've lived long enough now that I don't much care what other folks think of me. I've reached a very freeing point in my life. If you don't care for me, then be gone.

I will always consider myself as work in progress as a person, but I don't include weight in that mix.

I am 47 years old, 5'4", 325 pounds. I'd prefer to be 225 since things were easier for me physically and I was more active at that weight, but I don't seem to prefer it enough to "die"t :) So if a magic pill were available to whisk me back to 225, I'd take it. If the same pill took me back to 30 years old, which was when I was last at 225, I wouldn't take it.

[bbwlibrarian]

I don't hate myself for being fat but I can't truly say I 100% accept it. It's not like it's been a huge inconvienience but, hah, I'm still young! I am somewhat annoyed at the distribution of my fat. Why did I have to win the belly lottery but lose out on the hips and butt lottery? I would probably enjoy my body more if I could have an hourglass shape, but, alas, I'm stuck with my lackluster front-heavy figure.

But, really, any hatred against my fat isn't exactly fair. It's never stopped me from doing what I want to do with my life. I've been in love MULTIPLE times, travelled the world bit by bit, and gotten two master's degrees while being quite fat and healthy. So, really, the only reason to hate my fat is aesthetic, which is a silly reason to hate anything.

[Amatrix]

I absolutely love my size.:wubu:
Everything about it. Even the struggles, and small minds who judge in passing.

Skinny pill? No, never.
The only reason I would lose weight is if my doctors advised me to do so, I see a doctor regularly and I am healthier then most of his patients at half my size.

I get sad when I lose weight, I feel like a part of me has left and disappeared... but I love gaining it back.

Some days are tougher, but I pick my attitude. I am fat because I want to be fat now.

[Tori]

FINALLY starting to accept it. Not quite to liking yet, but definitely accepting. I've met some absolutely AMAZING people in the past year and a half that have helped me more than they could ever know and I'm forever grateful. It's refreshing.

[herin]

I'm past the acceptance and well into liking it.

[Tori]

If you don't mind my asking, how did you get there?

I'm past the acceptance and well into liking it.

[herin]

If you don't mind my asking, how did you get there?

It started with self acceptance. That was the hard part for me. I hated myself for years. I blamed the fat for everything in my life that was unacceptable to me. I would fantasize about how my life would be once I lost the weight. I would read about the fad diets and magic pills out there and dream about coming into my school x amount of pounds lighter and that I would instantly be popular, loved and admired and that all my problems would disappear. Like a fairy tale and I would be the princess. Life finally beat that dream out of me.

My problems would still be there no matter what I weighed and the glossy pictures in the magazines were a lie. Being skinny did not equate having one's shit together. I got into counselling and started working on me. I started taking personal responsibility for my actions and attitudes and one day, I just realized that I loved myself. It was a revelation.

After a time I started dating (I was 23) and after dating a few FAs, I began to see the beauty in my body and to realize that it was okay for someone to be attracted to me. Eventually, the fact that they found me attractive became a turn on to me. Which brings us to today, with me writing this.

I love myself. I am beautiful. My big belly is beautiful. I am womanly, curvy and sexy. It took a long time to get here, but I am here. Everyone's journey is different, this was mine.

[Shan34]

It started with self acceptance. That was the hard part for me. I hated myself for years. I blamed the fat for everything in my life that was unacceptable to me. I would fantasize about how my life would be once I lost the weight. I would read about the fad diets and magic pills out there and dream about coming into my school x amount of pounds lighter and that I would instantly be popular, loved and admired and that all my problems would disappear. Like a fairy tale and I would be the princess. Life finally beat that dream out of me.

My problems would still be there no matter what I weighed and the glossy pictures in the magazines were a lie. Being skinny did not equate having one's shit together. I got into counselling and started working on me. I started taking personal responsibility for my actions and attitudes and one day, I just realized that I loved myself. It was a revelation.

After a time I started dating (I was 23) and after dating a few FAs, I began to see the beauty in my body and to realize that it was okay for someone to be attracted to me. Eventually, the fact that they found me attractive became a turn on to me. Which brings us to today, with me writing this.

I love myself. I am beautiful. My big belly is beautiful. I am womanly, curvy and sexy. It took a long time to get here, but I am here. Everyone's journey is different, this was mine.
I used to dream that I was faking everybody out and that one day I'd rip off my "fat suit" and jaws would drop.

I am at the accepting stage. For the most part my size does not bother me at all. But I have my moments. And it's at those times that I would love to have the passion to lift myself up instead of tear myself down. I will get there. And this site is going to help me do it! :)

[PlumBlossom]

I weigh about 320 lbs. I don't want to be this fat. I feel that my fatness prevents me from living. I can't go to an amusement park with my boyfriend because I will not fit in any rides and I will get exhausted after walking a bit. I can't sit in chairs without fearing that it will break underneath me. I feel incapable of participating in sexual activities because of my fat. I can't wear anything that I want. My sister who weighs about 150 lbs can easily go to the beach with her boyfriend, wearing a beautiful beach dress. Me? My boyfriend invited me to the beach and I sadly refused because what am I going to wear to the beach? A sweater? A sweater is all I can wear and when I walk on the beach, I feel even more heavy walking on the sand, like the sand will swallow me whole, I can't walk right when I'm on the sand. I've had so many embarrassing moments where I just don't fit in a chair or don't fit through a security gate thing. My fatness prevents me from living. I don't think I could ever achieve being skinny. I would maybe feel more comfortable being in the lower 200 lbs. range. I just want to feel more mobile, more flexible, be able to do more things. I remember when I was 200 lbs in middle/high school, I thought that me weighting 200lb was a monstrosity. Now I wish I could go back to being 200 lbs. I'm 22 years old and so far, I have not felt good about myself. I don't feel like I'm capable of attracting someone physically. Even with a boyfriend, I don't feel desired. Would my feelings change if I was skinny? Probably not. I guess it's more internal, to do with self worth and self esteem more than body maybe but the body does play a role in self esteem.

I do believe in self-love, in body/size acceptance. Fat women are my heroes. I admire the respectable fat admirers for loving and celebrating fat women and not caring what society thinks they should feel attracted to.

[butterflyinreverse]

I think it depends on when you ask. Times when I am around my unrealistically thin sister in law and mother in law--I do wish that I was thinner. Times when the doctor says I am prediabetic, or when my knee hurts or when I feel tired after walking half as much as my family or any time that I see my big double chin in the mirror, that is when I want to be thin. Any time I see an oreo cookie or a beer, well-- thats when I just want to be me. :eat2:

[BBW MeganLynn44DD]

For the most part happy,I have my moments when I was I was thinner.Shopping with my mom would be easier and it would be easier to find prettier clothes.I do wish I was in better shape sometimes but I have my days where I do love my curves.Love my belly most of the time and love the fact I have a badonkadonk.I'm in the 22/24 size range,have been a bit bigger.

[veggieforever]

I am currently losing weight and so far have went from around 210 down to 167 (healthily and steadily might I add). My reason's are primarily health related when my dad died suddenly at a mere 49 years of age. This shocked me into losing weight and changing bad habits as best I could, so I have not started eating healthily and working out for a size 10 clothes label. I will admit when I was at my heaviest in my early twenties (around 265lbs) I detested my body, I hated the summer times, the sweating and chaffing, and would become so upset that I took comfort in as much junk food as I could cram into my mouth. I was caught in a viscious spiral and felt quite helpless. I could not accept myself but over the next few years my weight dropped to around 210 and stayed there but when I fell in love in 2003 with my now spouse, I was so infatuated my weight dropped to around 160 and I noticed people reacted to me in a completely different way. A new world opened up and I wasnt quite ready or prepared for it. So many sexual advances were made to me constantly with my slimmer physique. Once a young man pulled over to me in his car (a total stranger!) and virtually begged me to get in and spend a few hours with him, if you know what I mean! Losing weight changed my life and my perception in ways I never thought it ever could or would. I don't know if any woman or man who loses a shed load of weight could ever truly prepare themselves for what lies ahead by means of positive acceptance from others. It is powerful stuff and not only changes your physical but it causes a massive shift in your head space too (good and bad). I know it made my head spin out of control! What I am saying here is, I have done the weight loss merry-go-round once before and have finally found what clicks for me to permenantly live a healthier life and I accept myself more now, I never accepted myself at 265lbs. Society is a very looks driven animal. I remember how I was treated at both ends of the spectrum. One was utter hell and the other was complete unconditional acceptance - all over a few pounds. I accept me where I am now because I feel healthy and I enjoy hitting the gym a few times a week to blow off steam. I have wisened up to the horrors of junk food and adore cooking vegan and vegetarian meals from scratch at home. I have balance. When I was heavier (265lbs) I couldnt accept myself as there was no balance in my life and each day was filled with tugging tshirts down over my belly, wondering in mortification why strangers were sniggering on the bus when I got on, guilt of eating all the wrong foods for all the wrong reasons... The list went on and on... It wasnt the lifestyle for me. I am sorry if I have whittered on folks but I hope this does make some kind of sense to men and women out there. I do mourn the loss of my breasts and butt currently as my figure has certainly been altered in all the places a woman doesnt want it to be, but I am in a better place for grasping the nettle, cutting out the junk drastically and moving my body more. I would never accept or shun a friend simply because of their size but society done this to me and in turn I done that to me too, and that I find shameful and cannot accept! Society loves me again for who I am RIGHT NOW and with each lost pound will love me even more but the same animal could not take me into the fold when I was larger. I am very wary of this creature now and my reasons for weight loss are to please no one but myself and for my own longevity.

[BarterGal]

I've always accepted my weight, born fat. I actually like being overweight most of the time because it's just who I am. I have gained and lost weight throughout the years and have to admit that when I'm a thinner fat gal, I feel the most sexiest, that's always good for me to feel. In the past 5 years I have gained a lot of weight from growing a business and my weight is at the maxx right now that it can handle. I have been trying very hard to lose at least 50 lbs, but could not get anywhere. Finally I got back on depo to control my hormones (2 weeks of PMS and bloating didn't help my weight loss efforts) and now in just the past 2 weeks, lost 4 lbs already and feel I can finally start losing this 50. After this 50, I will see where I am at. It's so bad I have a back knot from the weight, can't walk far and I miss having my energy of being able to just walk. Sucks.

Now my new bf is not going to like the weight loss, but he will like that I can walk with him better. Right now he doesn't know I have walking problems because it's cold here and we haven't needed to really walk too far. So I'm hoping by spring, I will have more off and it gets better.

Back to the question, I have accepted that I will always be overweight and am really ok with it! I'm gorgeous :)

[scoozy]

well i like everyone else it seems like have gone through phases of loving and hating myself and sadly i am currently in the not liking myself so much i am at my heaviest now and i know that if i want to change that only i can do it and i need to do it for myself not only to look better but to feel better inside and out. but even though i know its something i have to do it is extremely difficult to find the motivation to get up and start loosing the weight. i know that my health or my well being should be motivation enough but i dont always think that way

[superodalisque]

I am currently losing weight and so far have went from around 210 down to 167 (healthily and steadily might I add). My reason's are primarily health related when my dad died suddenly at a mere 49 years of age. This shocked me into losing weight and changing bad habits as best I could, so I have not started eating healthily and working out for a size 10 clothes label. I will admit when I was at my heaviest in my early twenties (around 265lbs) I detested my body, I hated the summer times, the sweating and chaffing, and would become so upset that I took comfort in as much junk food as I could cram into my mouth. I was caught in a viscious spiral and felt quite helpless. I could not accept myself but over the next few years my weight dropped to around 210 and stayed there but when I fell in love in 2003 with my now spouse, I was so infatuated my weight dropped to around 160 and I noticed people reacted to me in a completely different way. A new world opened up and I wasnt quite ready or prepared for it. So many sexual advances were made to me constantly with my slimmer physique. Once a young man pulled over to me in his car (a total stranger!) and virtually begged me to get in and spend a few hours with him, if you know what I mean! Losing weight changed my life and my perception in ways I never thought it ever could or would. I don't know if any woman or man who loses a shed load of weight could ever truly prepare themselves for what lies ahead by means of positive acceptance from others. It is powerful stuff and not only changes your physical but it causes a massive shift in your head space too (good and bad). I know it made my head spin out of control! What I am saying here is, I have done the weight loss merry-go-round once before and have finally found what clicks for me to permenantly live a healthier life and I accept myself more now, I never accepted myself at 265lbs. Society is a very looks driven animal. I remember how I was treated at both ends of the spectrum. One was utter hell and the other was complete unconditional acceptance - all over a few pounds. I accept me where I am now because I feel healthy and I enjoy hitting the gym a few times a week to blow off steam. I have wisened up to the horrors of junk food and adore cooking vegan and vegetarian meals from scratch at home. I have balance. When I was heavier (265lbs) I couldnt accept myself as there was no balance in my life and each day was filled with tugging tshirts down over my belly, wondering in mortification why strangers were sniggering on the bus when I got on, guilt of eating all the wrong foods for all the wrong reasons... The list went on and on... It wasnt the lifestyle for me. I am sorry if I have whittered on folks but I hope this does make some kind of sense to men and women out there. I do mourn the loss of my breasts and butt currently as my figure has certainly been altered in all the places a woman doesnt want it to be, but I am in a better place for grasping the nettle, cutting out the junk drastically and moving my body more. I would never accept or shun a friend simply because of their size but society done this to me and in turn I done that to me too, and that I find shameful and cannot accept! Society loves me again for who I am RIGHT NOW and with each lost pound will love me even more but the same animal could not take me into the fold when I was larger. I am very wary of this creature now and my reasons for weight loss are to please no one but myself and for my own longevity.

you raise an important point. people who are concerned with being accepted should be really concerned about who they are trying to be accepted by. they are probably very shallow people we shouldn't be dealing with anyway.