BBW Confessions thread

[LovelyLiz]

IC that I'm finally ready to give up on the guy I've been emailing with on POF for like a month now, and who always has convenient excuses for why he only emails me during work hours during the week, and still hasn't been able to call me on the phone. And he doesn't have any public pics posted. Yeah, 99% sure he's married.

Classy.

[kristineirl]

IC that I'm finally ready to give up on the guy I've been emailing with on POF for like a month now, and who always has convenient excuses for why he only emails me during work hours during the week, and still hasn't been able to call me on the phone. And he doesn't have any public pics posted. Yeah, 99% sure he's married.

Classy.

you deserve more than that. i'm happy that you saw through him!

[luscious_lulu]

My grandmother told me a month before she died (LOL, this sounds like the beginning of some epic tale but it isn't!), that other people's happiness and good fortune do not diminish you. It is their time for joy, their time for blessings and love and laughter. Enjoy it with them Carla. Really feel happiness for their good fortune because joy, even when it isnt your own, does not take anything away from you. And when it is your time, because your time will come, the joy you get then will be to the power of like 6 billion :D


She was a very wise woman.

[CarlaSixx]

I guess I just feel that way because I was so close to having that kind of happiness for myself and then it all suddenly vanished before my eyes. It's hard to live with knowing you once almost had everything you wanted and now have to live with having nothing at all.

[jdsumm]

IC that I'm finally ready to give up on the guy I've been emailing with on POF for like a month now, and who always has convenient excuses for why he only emails me during work hours during the week, and still hasn't been able to call me on the phone. And he doesn't have any public pics posted. Yeah, 99% sure he's married.

Classy.

Oh, that really stinks! I am very glad you caught on but very sorry that this happened to you. Dang, this online dating business is frustrating so much of the time!

[Tau]

IC that I'm finally ready to give up on the guy I've been emailing with on POF for like a month now, and who always has convenient excuses for why he only emails me during work hours during the week, and still hasn't been able to call me on the phone. And he doesn't have any public pics posted. Yeah, 99% sure he's married.

Classy.

Ugh. So sorry babes - I hate when this happens - but at least you saw through his bull *squishes you*

[Tau]

Do any of you have any word on how Mizz's procedure went? Just wanting to hear how she's doing, if she's well and also to pass on some love.

[MizzSnakeBite]

Mizz sending positive thoughts your way. I did not know till i read this thread that all this was going on with you. I hope that you got through ok and it will bring you some releif!

[COLOR="Purple"]Oh gosh Devi..I hope things went well today!




(((hugs))) I hope things went well.


Do any of you have any word on how Mizz's procedure went? Just wanting to hear how she's doing, if she's well and also to pass on some love.

Thanks ladies :).

It went....ok, I guess. I'm really tired. My doctor was late, big time (and I was her only patient scheduled for the day, and the OR was light and on time). Because of her, she backed up the OR, staff, and the anesthesiologist. Someone was literally cursing her name in the hall. haha I love that. :D Because last time was so horrible, I was beyond anxious, and they had to give me so much meds that it would've knocked out a football player. I'm extremely sore, bruised, weak, keep losing my voice, and I feel like someone kicked me over and over in the neck and throat. I made the mistake of requesting to look at the x-rays of my neck. :eek: Ugh, no wonder why it hurts so much.....I had tubing snaking through my neck, then going to my vertebrae. :eek: Oh, and it's no fun having to have an I.V. when you have a sunburn that's causing blisters. :eek: I kept being stopped in the halls because it's so bad.

Being upright is really painful. :(

[mossystate]

There she is. Tubing in neck going to........................:eek: Like always, I am hoping something gives...something...anything. Devi, you deserve some goddamn break. Thanks for taking the time to post here, sweets.

[OneWickedAngel]

Thanks ladies :).

It went....ok, I guess. I'm really tired. My doctor was late, big time (and I was her only patient scheduled for the day, and the OR was light and on time). Because of her, she backed up the OR, staff, and the anesthesiologist. Someone was literally cursing her name in the hall. haha I love that. :D Because last time was so horrible, I was beyond anxious, and they had to give me so much meds that it would've knocked out a football player. I'm extremely sore, bruised, weak, keep losing my voice, and I feel like someone kicked me over and over in the neck and throat. I made the mistake of requesting to look at the x-rays of my neck. :eek: Ugh, no wonder why it hurts so much.....I had tubing snaking through my neck, then going to my vertebrae. :eek: Oh, and it's no fun having to have an I.V. when you have a sunburn that's causing blisters. :eek: I kept being stopped in the halls because it's so bad.

Being upright is really painful. :(

Oh honey, just try to remind yourself that this part of the pain is temporary. I'm just so damned glad you have it within you to get back to us about it now. I'm offering oodles and oodles of Hello Kitty cyber {{{{{ hugs }}}} just for you because they feel good to the heart with out hurting the body.

[Punkin1024]

Oh Devi, so sorry you have to go through all this pain. Soft hugs!

[spiritangel]

Hugs Devi, remember you are loved, and we are good distractions, I cannot even begin to fathom the level of pain you are in sending lots of healing energy your way

[LovelyLiz]

Devi!!!! Sending you some healing vibes...sorry you're going through so much pain and discomfort right now. Big hugs to you.


Oh, that really stinks! I am very glad you caught on but very sorry that this happened to you. Dang, this online dating business is frustrating so much of the time!

Ugh. So sorry babes - I hate when this happens - but at least you saw through his bull *squishes you*

you deserve more than that. i'm happy that you saw through him!

Thanks ladies. I think after reading some of the threads here, and the experiences some of the women here have had, I've been more aware that some married guys pull these kinds of things. That's made me more cautious, and to notice the warning signs. So for that, I'm grateful to all you ladies! :bow:

[Tau]

Thanks ladies :).

It went....ok, I guess. I'm really tired. My doctor was late, big time (and I was her only patient scheduled for the day, and the OR was light and on time). Because of her, she backed up the OR, staff, and the anesthesiologist. Someone was literally cursing her name in the hall. haha I love that. :D Because last time was so horrible, I was beyond anxious, and they had to give me so much meds that it would've knocked out a football player. I'm extremely sore, bruised, weak, keep losing my voice, and I feel like someone kicked me over and over in the neck and throat. I made the mistake of requesting to look at the x-rays of my neck. :eek: Ugh, no wonder why it hurts so much.....I had tubing snaking through my neck, then going to my vertebrae. :eek: Oh, and it's no fun having to have an I.V. when you have a sunburn that's causing blisters. :eek: I kept being stopped in the halls because it's so bad.

Being upright is really painful. :(

So sorry to hear about the pain :( *smishes* Thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing. Thinking of you often and sending love and comfort and prayer

[spiritangel]

IC I am actually shaking atm, long story but sold an email reading on ebay (nothing new there) and when the woman sent through her questions she told me I look spookily like her older sister, this isnt something that happends to me much the you look like someone I know thing, especially as I was put up for adoption at age 3, and have only known my sister for just over 11 years now. Anyway told her a little of the we know we have more sisters we just have never met them or our mother, and told my sister about it. Anyway googled our birthmothers name with this womans sirname and there is ONe woman with the same name as our birth mother and this surname, it probably will turn out not to be anything but just the possibility and the not knowing is like wow ect and a little overwhelming I should also add I have always had a feeling that when and if we found our mother it would happen randomly and not when we were searching for her. ok so yes am shaking and feel like crying (crazy emotions all over the place atm)

[Punkin1024]

Wow - SpiritAngel - I hope this turns out well for you and will bring all that you wish it to bring.

[nettie]

Adding my soft, gentle hugs to the others and sending healing vibes, as well.

Thanks ladies :).

It went....ok, I guess. I'm really tired. My doctor was late, big time (and I was her only patient scheduled for the day, and the OR was light and on time). Because of her, she backed up the OR, staff, and the anesthesiologist. Someone was literally cursing her name in the hall. haha I love that. :D Because last time was so horrible, I was beyond anxious, and they had to give me so much meds that it would've knocked out a football player. I'm extremely sore, bruised, weak, keep losing my voice, and I feel like someone kicked me over and over in the neck and throat. I made the mistake of requesting to look at the x-rays of my neck. :eek: Ugh, no wonder why it hurts so much.....I had tubing snaking through my neck, then going to my vertebrae. :eek: Oh, and it's no fun having to have an I.V. when you have a sunburn that's causing blisters. :eek: I kept being stopped in the halls because it's so bad.

Being upright is really painful. :(

[Green Eyed Fairy]

IC I am actually shaking atm, long story but sold an email reading on ebay (nothing new there) and when the woman sent through her questions she told me I look spookily like her older sister, this isnt something that happends to me much the you look like someone I know thing, especially as I was put up for adoption at age 3, and have only known my sister for just over 11 years now. Anyway told her a little of the we know we have more sisters we just have never met them or our mother, and told my sister about it. Anyway googled our birthmothers name with this womans sirname and there is ONe woman with the same name as our birth mother and this surname, it probably will turn out not to be anything but just the possibility and the not knowing is like wow ect and a little overwhelming I should also add I have always had a feeling that when and if we found our mother it would happen randomly and not when we were searching for her. ok so yes am shaking and feel like crying (crazy emotions all over the place atm)

Please keep us posted on what you find out?

[MizzSnakeBite]

There she is. Tubing in neck going to........................:eek: Like always, I am hoping something gives...something...anything. Devi, you deserve some goddamn break. Thanks for taking the time to post here, sweets.

Thanks, Ms. Mo :wubu:

Oh honey, just try to remind yourself that this part of the pain is temporary. I'm just so damned glad you have it within you to get back to us about it now. I'm offering oodles and oodles of Hello Kitty cyber {{{{{ hugs }}}} just for you because they feel good to the heart with out hurting the body.

Thanks bunches :). Now.....I'm not too sure I want Hello Kitty hugs since your kitty's a bad ass. :p

Oh Devi, so sorry you have to go through all this pain. Soft hugs!

Thanks, sweetie! :)

Hugs Devi, remember you are loved, and we are good distractions, I cannot even begin to fathom the level of pain you are in sending lots of healing energy your way

Thanks so much, SA :).

Devi!!!! Sending you some healing vibes...sorry you're going through so much pain and discomfort right now. Big hugs to you.



Thanks :).

I'm so sorry to hear about that guy. That really sucks, but I'm soooo glad you realized what type of person he is before you got even deeper in. Hugs to you!

So sorry to hear about the pain :( *smishes* Thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing. Thinking of you often and sending love and comfort and prayer

Thanks, babe :wubu:

IC I am actually shaking atm, long story but sold an email reading on ebay (nothing new there) and when the woman sent through her questions she told me I look spookily like her older sister, this isnt something that happends to me much the you look like someone I know thing, especially as I was put up for adoption at age 3, and have only known my sister for just over 11 years now. Anyway told her a little of the we know we have more sisters we just have never met them or our mother, and told my sister about it. Anyway googled our birthmothers name with this womans sirname and there is ONe woman with the same name as our birth mother and this surname, it probably will turn out not to be anything but just the possibility and the not knowing is like wow ect and a little overwhelming I should also add I have always had a feeling that when and if we found our mother it would happen randomly and not when we were searching for her. ok so yes am shaking and feel like crying (crazy emotions all over the place atm)

omg.......honey....I can't even imagine how overwhelming it is for you... Big hugs!

Adding my soft, gentle hugs to the others and sending healing vibes, as well.

Thanks so much!

Ya'll have been great, and so supportive. :wubu:


Now, I have a confession..... I'm having a major omg moment.... Someone contacted me via email, that I never thought I would hear from again......I'm in shock, disbelief, stunned, and am not sure at all how I'm going to deal with it...... Wow...

[spiritangel]

sadly it was just one of those strange co incidences oh well one day :)

IC I am a little dissappointed but not suprised hugs

[luscious_lulu]

Thanks ladies :).

It went....ok, I guess. I'm really tired. My doctor was late, big time (and I was her only patient scheduled for the day, and the OR was light and on time). Because of her, she backed up the OR, staff, and the anesthesiologist. Someone was literally cursing her name in the hall. haha I love that. :D Because last time was so horrible, I was beyond anxious, and they had to give me so much meds that it would've knocked out a football player. I'm extremely sore, bruised, weak, keep losing my voice, and I feel like someone kicked me over and over in the neck and throat. I made the mistake of requesting to look at the x-rays of my neck. :eek: Ugh, no wonder why it hurts so much.....I had tubing snaking through my neck, then going to my vertebrae. :eek: Oh, and it's no fun having to have an I.V. when you have a sunburn that's causing blisters. :eek: I kept being stopped in the halls because it's so bad.

Being upright is really painful. :(


(((hugs))) thank you for the update!

[littlefairywren]

Now, I have a confession..... I'm having a major omg moment.... Someone contacted me via email, that I never thought I would hear from again......I'm in shock, disbelief, stunned, and am not sure at all how I'm going to deal with it...... Wow...

Is this the one I am going to be munching on?

[Punkin1024]

I've just been wandering around inside today. Nothing in particular planned, just being lazy. The only accomplishment for the day - colored my hair! I really need to hem my 2 new pairs of pants, sigh, I'm such a procrastinator!

[Jes]

a bad bad blow job fiasco. Not that i'd do anything with him on a first date, but still, all that's in the back of my head.

haha. I'm laughing with you, not at you. Wait, you're not laughing, you say? :)
I am the queen of the bad handjob. QUEEN. As a number of male Dimmers can attest.
I get that you're nervous but I hope that doesn't keep you from meeting this guy. The 2 things are not mutually exclusive; you can be nervous AND meet. And the only way to turn a bad BJ into a good one is to have someone to practice with!

[MizzSnakeBite]

Is this the one I am going to be munching on?

Yes

------

[mszwebs]

I confess it drives me crazy to see plus sized women today in ugly wedding dresses.

I also confess that I am very aware that clearly what I think is ugly is not an idea that is embraced by a number of women, based on the some of the pictures I've seen.

But related...I confess I wonder if they chose their dresses because they really liked them or because they felt that was their only choice.

I really hope they loved them.

[LovelyLiz]

IC that I hate the feelings associated with getting a burgeoning crush on someone. First comes girlish giddiness, but that's replaced almost immediately by terror and anticipated disappointment. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting better at just going with the flow...but, sometimes not.

[CarlaSixx]

I hear you on that Mcbeth.

Because... IC I am terrified of crushing on someone in fear of a rude attitude given to me about it. And sometimes I just think someone I'm crushing on is upset with me and/or disgusted by the fact that I like them. I tend to think "oh great, they know and think I'm creepy." which is a bad mindset to carry but I fear not being liked in return so I try to talk myself out of ever crushing on anyone. And that's bad.

[LovelyLiz]

IC that I hate the feelings associated with getting a burgeoning crush on someone. First comes girlish giddiness, but that's replaced almost immediately by terror and anticipated disappointment. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting better at just going with the flow...but, sometimes not.

IC that hilariously, after feeling down on myself all day as evidenced in this above post, a guy who showed up to a game night at my friend's house last night was totally throwing himself at me. This doesn't happen all that often in my everyday life, but it was just such good timing - just to remind me that I'm not a hideous monster. :) God has such a sense of humor. (Btw, I'm not really interested in the guy, but still, it's always flattering to have someone express interest! What a gift.)

[CarlaSixx]

I confess that I would like to, for once, walk into a bar in my city and have someone want to be around me besides just my friends, who desert me for the people who come up to talk to them. My friends are now pissed at me because I don't want to hit the town with them but I'm sick of being the purse watcher while they sleeze it up on the dancefloor or something. It wouldn't be so bad being bag checker if someone would at least come up to me to chat while my friends leave me all alone.

I'd really like to hang out with my friends, but since they always want to go to a bar to hang out, I don't see them mch anymore.

[CastingPearls]

On my way somewhere with a bunch of friends, I offered a ride to the only one I didn't know because I didn't really know my way to the destination and the other car was full and she was the first one to jump out of the lead car.

So we started talking about general things, and then she started questioning me closely about my weight, my size, my weight-loss from a few years back. If my husband was fat, my family, where did I buy my clothes, ad nauseum.
I gathered from info she offered about herself that she had always been very thin her entire life and didn't have any friends who were fat. It took a while but because my mind wasn't entirely on the conversation but following the car ahead of me, that she was in fact, repulsed by fat people.

She wasn't hostile, just really judgmental and bigoted. She applauded how "I" lost weight and how people who have WLS are 'taking the easy way out' which really REALLY burned my ass because I have a lot of friends who've had it, I considered it, and know there's NOTHING easy about it.
I'm of the opinion that everyone should have one--mine, but know that's not reality-based and debated whether to take it upon myself to give her a quick education but in all honestly I just didn't think she was worth the effort and it was quickly becoming a buzz kill.

For most of the evening, we sat at opposite ends of the group until she threw a tantrum over how loud the music was (the DJ was kick-ass) and demanded another friend call her husband to take her home. Her friend didn't want to go and she looked at me and I just looked at her and shook my head and looked away. She walked outside and sat on a rock for two hours before she found a ride home.

My other friends invited me to come back out with them, but agreed amongst themselves unanimously to not include her anymore. I never told them about our conversation but was relieved it would be unlikely we'd cross paths often because after a few drinks I wanted to feed her a bar stool.

[Lovelyone]

I confess that it drives me crazy when I walk into a grocery store and there are men standing there at the front doors, just lounging around and people watching. It drives me nuts to have to walk past them. I want to say "What are you looking at?" or "Didn't your mother ever teach you that it's not polite to stare?"
A guy friend of mine said "don't get frustrated with them. They might just be admiring you". That just makes me mad, cos I can't tell the difference. :D

[Weeze]

haha. I'm laughing with you, not at you. Wait, you're not laughing, you say? :)
I am the queen of the bad handjob. QUEEN. As a number of male Dimmers can attest.
I get that you're nervous but I hope that doesn't keep you from meeting this guy. The 2 things are not mutually exclusive; you can be nervous AND meet. And the only way to turn a bad BJ into a good one is to have someone to practice with!

Heh, I did meet him, and I politely declined when he asked me to come upstairs at the end of the evening. Thankfully, i was the driver and didn't even get out of my car. The whole thing was extremely uncomfortable, especially when I found out certain things about his past.

Ladies, is it weird that I thought it was a little... awkward... of him to drink beer in front of me our first time out? I'm only 19.. TWO YEARS away from the drinking age. I went to the bathroom, came back and he had a beer. Granted, most drinking makes me uncomfortable, but still i felt weird, and i'm not sure if it's justified or i'm just being dumb. However, like I said I also found out some not-so-great things about his past that really just make me want to stay away :(
I really just want to go on a *good* date, with someone that seems interested in what i'm saying, can keep up with conversation, and doesn't tell me that i'm weird for being "so tall for a girl" (I'm only 5'8. Seriously, i'm not goliath, yet every guy i go out with is significantly shorter and gawks a little :( )

On another note... I just gave me mom a.. large sum of money and even though she says she'll pay it back, i know i'm never going to see it again and it's making me sick to my stomach... which makes me feel horrible because it's my *mom*... I'm mad at myself for being upset about giving something to her, but I can't help it. Ugh.

[Tau]

"...sat on a rock..." :p What a loser!! The other day during one of the games this woman had a fit cos the people around her were swearing at the screen and the music and vuvuzelas were too loud. She insisted on leaving and dragged the people she was with her. I pointed and laughed - wish I coulda been there to do this to your rock-sitting-cretin CP ahahaha!

At Krissy - chick the things you want are not unreasonable. Hold out for that guy or that date who'll make you at ease, who understands your conversation, who isn't a dick about your height. Always, always pay attention to your instincts.

About the money for your mom...my philosophy whenever I give money to my family is that its a gift and I do not expect it to be paid back. Thinking this way will mean you don't resent your family over money, and you will not give them sums of cash so large you can't survive/get by without them or they have really damaging impact. Also when/if they happen to pay you back it will be an awesome surprise :D

[CastingPearls]

"...sat on a rock..." :p What a loser!! The other day during one of the games this woman had a fit cos the people around her were swearing at the screen and the music and vuvuzelas were too loud. She insisted on leaving and dragged the people she was with her. I pointed and laughed - wish I coulda been there to do this to your rock-sitting-cretin CP ahahaha!

At Krissy - chick the things you want are not unreasonable. Hold out for that guy or that date who'll make you at ease, who understands your conversation, who isn't a dick about your height. Always, always pay attention to your instincts.

About the money for your mom...my philosophy whenever I give money to my family is that its a gift and I do not expect it to be paid back. Thinking this way will mean you don't resent your family over money, and you will not give them sums of cash so large you can't survive/get by without them or they have really damaging impact. Also when/if they happen to pay you back it will be an awesome surprise :D
Oh Tau, I forgot THAT...all the other girls and the bouncer were all standing in the doorway pointing and laughing their asses off at her.....you just reminded me! ROFL!!

[Tau]

I don't wanna go to pole tonight. I just want to go home and eat chocolate *whimpers*

[OneWickedAngel]

I don't wanna go to pole tonight. I just want to go home and eat chocolate *whimpers*

Tau sweetie, you just might want to qualify that statement a little more.
"Pole"? I suspect you and I are thinking of two VERY different things! :D :batting: :D

[curveyme]

I was thinking there was a BBW strip club in South Africa . . .??? :blush:

[Punkin1024]

Just popping in for a moment! I watched "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Lightning Thief" this evening. I really liked this movie. Perhaps it is because I was born in the sign of water or, maybe, just maybe because I still think that Pierce Brosnan is hot! ;)

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Just popping in for a moment! I watched "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Lightning Thief" this evening. I really liked this movie. Perhaps it is because I was born in the sign of water or, maybe, just maybe because I still think that Pierce Brosnan is hot! ;)


I loved this movie, too. Much better than I expected....Rosario Dawson was excellent in her part, as well.

[KittyKitten]

Dims has gotten kind of slow. I was reading back at the posts last year and the previous years and it seems the place was more active. Now it just looks as if the same people post in the same popular threads that run 11 pages long. There are no new topics. 99% of people who register only go to the paysite board anyway.

I also believe I'm not 'big' enough to be considered attractive by most of the guys on Dims.

[Lovelyone]

I think I am more content as a single woman than when I have a man in my life. That's the honest truth and I know it sounds so bad, but I can't help feeling that way. That's not to say that if someone special came along I wouldn't try...but the recent years of BS from men has really made me feel jaded and re-evaluate things.

[Tau]

Tau sweetie, you just might want to qualify that statement a little more.
"Pole"? I suspect you and I are thinking of two VERY different things! :D :batting: :D

Ahaha! Dirty girl! Don't I wish it were that kind of pole *wistful sigh*

[Tau]

I was thinking there was a BBW strip club in South Africa . . .??? :blush:

Don't I wish! I'd totally quite my job and become a stripper.

[Tau]

Dims has gotten kind of slow. I was reading back at the posts last year and the previous years and it seems the place was more active. Now it just looks as if the same people post in the same popular threads that run 11 pages long. There are no new topics. 99% of people who register only go to the paysite board anyway.

I also believe I'm not 'big' enough to be considered attractive by most of the guys on Dims.

All very true. Hopefully there'll be some kind of renewal on the site soon. And on Dims girls like you and I are considered positively anorexic :p

[Surlysomething]

Dims has gotten kind of slow. I was reading back at the posts last year and the previous years and it seems the place was more active. Now it just looks as if the same people post in the same popular threads that run 11 pages long. There are no new topics. 99% of people who register only go to the paysite board anyway.

I also believe I'm not 'big' enough to be considered attractive by most of the guys on Dims.


You need to branch out a bit more. There are so many threads.

And everyone on here feels marginalized to some extent. You just have to find your place and what you like and don't let it bother you. I'm virtually ignored by the BHM's and it's pretty much always been that way. Now I don't participate there as much and I feel a lot better about myself.

:)

[luscious_lulu]

IC even though that this year has been very stressful/sad, I'm going to be ok.

[Punkin1024]

IC even though that this year has been very stressful/sad, I'm going to be ok.


(((((((HUGS)))))))

[luscious_lulu]

(((((((HUGS)))))))

Thanks sweetie

[CastingPearls]

Somehow I got a tan line in my cleavage. <sigh>

[curveyme]

Thanks sweetie

Sorry to hear that Luscious. Hope things get better!

[littlefairywren]

IC even though that this year has been very stressful/sad, I'm going to be ok.

Big cuddly (((hugs))) lulu.

[Punkin1024]

I dreamed I found a stash of chocolates at work. Hmmm, is my brain trying to tell me I'm chocolate deprived? Guess I'll have to take care of that real soon. :D

[luscious_lulu]

Sorry to hear that Luscious. Hope things get better!

Big cuddly (((hugs))) lulu.

Thank you both.



I dreamed I found a stash of chocolates at work. Hmmm, is my brain trying to tell me I'm chocolate deprived? Guess I'll have to take care of that real soon. :D

mmmmm.... chocolate

[CarlaSixx]

I know it's bad enough that I'm a BBW on a job hunt, but I wish more appearances were acceptable in businesses that do customer service.

Now, no matter where I decide to work and what temperature it is, I have to wear long sleeves. AND, I can't experiment with my hair like I normally do.

This had never been the case before. I was in a government-run office job and had blue hair and visible tattoos. But now... all that has to be hidden. This is going to SUCK.

At least I'm still allowed to go blonde since it's technically a natural hair colour, but it still sucks that I can't be as unique as I actually am. :(

[calauria]

I know it's bad enough that I'm a BBW on a job hunt, but I wish more appearances were acceptable in businesses that do customer service.

Now, no matter where I decide to work and what temperature it is, I have to wear long sleeves. AND, I can't experiment with my hair like I normally do.

This had never been the case before. I was in a government-run office job and had blue hair and visible tattoos. But now... all that has to be hidden. This is going to SUCK.

At least I'm still allowed to go blonde since it's technically a natural hair colour, but it still sucks that I can't be as unique as I actually am. :(

I know that does suck!! I once had fushia hair. It was so cute!!:)

[Punkin1024]

Now, no matter where I decide to work and what temperature it is, I have to wear long sleeves. AND, I can't experiment with my hair like I normally do.

This had never been the case before. I was in a government-run office job and had blue hair and visible tattoos. But now... all that has to be hidden. This is going to SUCK.

At least I'm still allowed to go blonde since it's technically a natural hair colour, but it still sucks that I can't be as unique as I actually am. :(

I've never been a fan of strict dress codes, but I've had to let others dictate what I wear at work in order to keep a decent paying job. I've come to accept that this is how it is in the working world. Sometimes, you just gotta be a part of the crowd, unless you are fortunate enough to own your own business or have a unique, marketable talent. Hang in there, I know it sucks, but you are young and eventually, you will find the perfect job.

[Fluffy51888]

IC that if I could, I would stay in bed for the rest of my life. Curled in a ball. With my cat.

[littlefairywren]

IC that if I could, I would stay in bed for the rest of my life. Curled in a ball. With my cat.

It will get better, I promise you. The hurt will leave your heart :(

[CarlaSixx]

IC I do not feel the least bit attractive today. All day I've been going "Who am I kidding?!" and it's not a fun feeling.

[Tau]

I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too :D

[nettie]

IC that if I could, I would stay in bed for the rest of my life. Curled in a ball. With my cat.

IC I do not feel the least bit attractive today. All day I've been going "Who am I kidding?!" and it's not a fun feeling.

((( hugs ))) to both of you! You two are beautiful young women, with such amazing spirits. I hope your tomorrow is a little brighter.

I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too :D

Sorry you're under the weather but congratulations on the photography project! And I hope you decide to go for your masters!!!

[CastingPearls]

I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too :D
That's great news! Congrats!!!

[chicken legs]

That's great news! Congrats!!!

I give that a big HURUMPH..yaaayyy

[OneWickedAngel]

I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too :D

Mega awesome! Own it Tau, you can do it girlie!

[LovelyLiz]

IC that if I could, I would stay in bed for the rest of my life. Curled in a ball. With my cat.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, Fluffy. Glad your cat is there to love on you. {{{HUGS}}}

I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too :D

GIRRRRRLLLLLL!!!! So awesome! Congrats! I've seen some of your shots, you've got this in the bag! :D And as a current graduate student, living in a semi-broke status all the time, let me just say...it's not so bad. ;) If school is what you want, and if you really learn and grow in that kind of environment, it's soooo worth it.

[Punkin1024]

I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too :D

Good for you! I know you're going to do great and wonderful things will come your way. Thanks for sharing good news with us. :)

[Tau]

You all, all rock so hard! Thank you :D

[littlefairywren]

I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too :D

Tau, I just saw this. I am soooo happy for you, and I know that you could do anything you set your mind to! Go for it :)

[luscious_lulu]

IC that if I could, I would stay in bed for the rest of my life. Curled in a ball. With my cat.

(((hugs))) I know that feeling all to well! Things Will get better.

[luscious_lulu]

I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too :D



Yay, fabulous news

[calauria]

I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too :D

CONGRATS!!

[Punkin1024]

One of hubby's friends was at our house when I got home this evening. He asked if I had lost weight. Of course, I said yes. Then hubby said, you just made her day! He then explained that I've been walking at least 1 mile most every day. Sometimes, I just don't feel like explaining that I'm walking for my health, not to lose weight. I get so tired trying to explain that everything I do food and exercise wise is for improved health and stamina. I know weight loss will be a small part of that, but that is not my goal. I've been fat for far too long to want to be thin. I'm comfortable with myself right now (oh, maybe I'll be even happier when I fit into a size 32). I just wish I could get family to understand that healthy is good and achievable - no matter what your size. Sigh!

[Weeze]

I've never been a fan of strict dress codes, but I've had to let others dictate what I wear at work in order to keep a decent paying job. I've come to accept that this is how it is in the working world. Sometimes, you just gotta be a part of the crowd, unless you are fortunate enough to own your own business or have a unique, marketable talent. Hang in there, I know it sucks, but you are young and eventually, you will find the perfect job.

I know this advice wasn't directed at me, but I read it, and i've read some of your other posts... and can I just tell you you're a beautiful person. Seriously. Love it.

[Lamia]

I confess that learning a new job is stressing me and I keep making mistakes and feel like a huge loser right now. :(

[MizzSnakeBite]

IC even though that this year has been very stressful/sad, I'm going to be ok.


(((HUGS))) I hope things are starting to brighten up, and remember, Vegas is coming!

I dreamed I found a stash of chocolates at work. Hmmm, is my brain trying to tell me I'm chocolate deprived? Guess I'll have to take care of that real soon. :D

haha I've been craving chocolate a Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. lol So much so, that I looked online and compiled a bunch of recipes! :D

I know it's bad enough that I'm a BBW on a job hunt, but I wish more appearances were acceptable in businesses that do customer service.

Now, no matter where I decide to work and what temperature it is, I have to wear long sleeves. AND, I can't experiment with my hair like I normally do.

This had never been the case before. I was in a government-run office job and had blue hair and visible tattoos. But now... all that has to be hidden. This is going to SUCK.

At least I'm still allowed to go blonde since it's technically a natural hair colour, but it still sucks that I can't be as unique as I actually am. :(


(((HUGS))) I hope one day that you'll be able to find a job that fits your personality perfectly. :)

IC that if I could, I would stay in bed for the rest of my life. Curled in a ball. With my cat.


(((HUGS))) We understand.

IC I do not feel the least bit attractive today. All day I've been going "Who am I kidding?!" and it's not a fun feeling.

(((HUGS)))

I really wanted to share some joy here. I confess that I am exhausted, flu stricken and slightly cranky but life is SO GOOD!!! I've landed my first really big photography project and its led to several new leads and I'm so excited I could burst. Also I'm struggling to summon the courage to do my masters next year - not having any joy getting my paws on a scholarship so am utterly terrified at the thought of being a semi-broke student again - but change has got to happen and even though I'm terrified I'm pretty damn excited about this too :D

This is FANTASTIC!!!!! I'm so excited for you!!

Let us know what you decide to do!

I confess that learning a new job is stressing me and I keep making mistakes and feel like a huge loser right now. :(

Aw, it'll get better! Having to learn the ropes is always stressful.

(((HUGS)))

[CarlaSixx]

IC that yesterday I felt my body jiggle for the first time in... I can't remember how long and the feeling totally creeped me out. I typically have solid fat and to feel like every small move created an ocean of waves was just weird and creepy. I don't know what changed but I didn't like it. :(

[MizzSnakeBite]

Alrighty. I'm starting to get very anxious now. Back in the hospital tomorrow for another procedure. Not only does the procedure cause anxiety, but checking my weight (of course, I know that's a necessity for anesthesia and all) and the dreaded i.v. :( I have tiny, tiny veins, so tiny that they have to use the pediatric needles on me. Also, with my pain disorder, it makes it extraordinarily painful. Ugh.

I'm trying to calm myself down by doing stuff. It's not working.

[olwen]

Hang in there! It will be over before you know it.

[Fallenangel2904]

IC that I hate my life these days and haven't felt this depressed since I was 15 and I hate it. I just want to be okay again :(:(:(

[CastingPearls]

Alrighty. I'm starting to get very anxious now. Back in the hospital tomorrow for another procedure. Not only does the procedure cause anxiety, but checking my weight (of course, I know that's a necessity for anesthesia and all) and the dreaded i.v. :( I have tiny, tiny veins, so tiny that they have to use the pediatric needles on me. Also, with my pain disorder, it makes it extraordinarily painful. Ugh.

I'm trying to calm myself down by doing stuff. It's not working.
Empathy (pediatric needles too) support and love vibes headed in your direction.

[cinnamitch]

Alrighty. I'm starting to get very anxious now. Back in the hospital tomorrow for another procedure. Not only does the procedure cause anxiety, but checking my weight (of course, I know that's a necessity for anesthesia and all) and the dreaded i.v. :( I have tiny, tiny veins, so tiny that they have to use the pediatric needles on me. Also, with my pain disorder, it makes it extraordinarily painful. Ugh.

I'm trying to calm myself down by doing stuff. It's not working.

Mzz drink lots of water till you go NPO. It helps to plump the veins ( a lab tech told me this). Ask for their most experienced person to poke you. You do have a right to it. I have small rolling deep veins and it is always a bitch to stick me. Why should i put up being stuck by someone who is not experienced in sticking folks like me. I used to always like the techs or nurses that did the geriatric patients. They are used to small rollling veins. They could always stick me on the first try. Good luck to you and i will keep you in my prayers.

[mossystate]

Devi, what cinna said! Also, maybe just give yourself ' permission ' to be anxious. Sometimes, letting your brain do its thing can reduce the overall severity. I will be thinking of you, dove.

[littlefairywren]

Alrighty. I'm starting to get very anxious now. Back in the hospital tomorrow for another procedure. Not only does the procedure cause anxiety, but checking my weight (of course, I know that's a necessity for anesthesia and all) and the dreaded i.v. :( I have tiny, tiny veins, so tiny that they have to use the pediatric needles on me. Also, with my pain disorder, it makes it extraordinarily painful. Ugh.

I'm trying to calm myself down by doing stuff. It's not working.

Thinking of you, my darling girl. We all love you, and wish you well for tomorrow. Just keep in your mind how excited Scrabbie will be, when you come home.

Hugs for Momma Bird :wubu:

[MizzSnakeBite]

Hang in there! It will be over before you know it.

Empathy (pediatric needles too) support and love vibes headed in your direction.

Mzz drink lots of water till you go NPO. It helps to plump the veins ( a lab tech told me this). Ask for their most experienced person to poke you. You do have a right to it. I have small rolling deep veins and it is always a bitch to stick me. Why should i put up being stuck by someone who is not experienced in sticking folks like me. I used to always like the techs or nurses that did the geriatric patients. They are used to small rollling veins. They could always stick me on the first try. Good luck to you and i will keep you in my prayers.

Devi, what cinna said! Also, maybe just give yourself ' permission ' to be anxious. Sometimes, letting your brain do its thing can reduce the overall severity. I will be thinking of you, dove.

Thinking of you, my darling girl. We all love you, and wish you well for tomorrow. Just keep in your mind how excited Scrabbie will be, when you come home.

Hugs for Momma Bird :wubu:

Thanks, everybirdie :).

I'm so sick and tired of this crap. :-/

[Punkin1024]

Alrighty. I'm starting to get very anxious now. Back in the hospital tomorrow for another procedure. Not only does the procedure cause anxiety, but checking my weight (of course, I know that's a necessity for anesthesia and all) and the dreaded i.v. :( I have tiny, tiny veins, so tiny that they have to use the pediatric needles on me. Also, with my pain disorder, it makes it extraordinarily painful. Ugh.

I'm trying to calm myself down by doing stuff. It's not working.

Adding my 2 cents in! I pray for you every day, girlie!

[Punkin1024]

IC that I hate my life these days and haven't felt this depressed since I was 15 and I hate it. I just want to be okay again :(:(:(

Depression is difficult for anyone - especially us women. I hope you are seeing a professional for help. Let us know how we can help you pull through this. ((((Hugs))))

[Weeze]

I, somewhere, somehow... got the guts to apply to college. Real college. No more community college, and no more only being half an hour from home at girls' school.
Real college... away from home...

Holy crap, I'm nervous.

[Tau]

I, somewhere, somehow... got the guts to apply to college. Real college. No more community college, and no more only being half an hour from home at girls' school.
Real college... away from home...

Holy crap, I'm nervous.

Goodluck! Hope you get in because you will love it. There is nothing like being away from home to really get to know who you are. Studying far from home for 4 years was the best thing I could have done for myself because I'm a spoilt brat and my parents act as a major cushion against reality. Having that ripped away was good for me - I'm certain you'll have a blast :D

@Miz - praying hard for you chick *squishes*
@Fallen - I hear you on the depression. I've been depressed about work for too long now so am making some fairly terryifying, drastic changes. I hope you find that thing that will give you back your happy equilibrium *hugz*

[WomanlyHips]

IC that I hate my life these days and haven't felt this depressed since I was 15 and I hate it. I just want to be okay again :(:(:(

I can totally relate to this, sending good vibes your way, I'm sorry you're suffering right now..

[Crystal]

I'm supposed to be watching my sugar a bit. I'm not diabetic, but in a few years, I could be if I'm not careful.

I'm devouring an entire oreo ice cream cake for my birthday.

.....and it's freakin' delicious.

[Punkin1024]

I'm supposed to be watching my sugar a bit. I'm not diabetic, but in a few years, I could be if I'm not careful.

I'm devouring an entire oreo ice cream cake for my birthday.

.....and it's freakin' delicious.

I don't know whether you are being serious or not, but watching sugar intake is only a part of heading off diabetes (from what I've read and studied anyway). Switching to healthier foods (less processed food - getting far away from anything with high fructose corn syrup) will also help. Healthy foods are not boring - you can have whole grains, lean protein, lots of low-fat dairy (if you can handle the lactose), fresh fruits. nuts, healthy oils (think monunsaturated like olive oil), dark chocolate (the higher the amount of cocao the better) and fresh veggies. And hey, the occasional oreo ice cream cake on your birthday is do-able, if you follow a healthy, whole foods eating plan 95% of the time. ;) Take care of yourself - your body will thank you when you are older!

[Famouslastwords]

I don't know whether you are being serious or not, but watching sugar intake is only a part of heading off diabetes (from what I've read and studied anyway). Switching to healthier foods (less processed food - getting far away from anything with high fructose corn syrup) will also help. Healthy foods are not boring - you can have whole grains, lean protein, lots of low-fat dairy (if you can handle the lactose), fresh fruits. nuts, healthy oils (think monunsaturated like olive oil), dark chocolate (the higher the amount of cocao the better) and fresh veggies. And hey, the occasional oreo ice cream cake on your birthday is do-able, if you follow a healthy, whole foods eating plan 95% of the time. ;) Take care of yourself - your body will thank you when you are older!

Yeah. I've totally tried to do this, and am still trying. Last night I made chipotle beef with pearled barley and cauliflower and whole wheat blondies for dessert. These blondies are special as they're made with whole wheat, olive oil instead of butter, and honey instead of sugar. They also have organic almond butter, and coconut milk, and 72% cocao chips in them. They taste healthy, but they still taste good. I've been cooking out of this cook book (when I'm not eating out...) called the Master Your Metabolism cookbook, it's all about healthy eating and fresh organic foods, and real nonprocessed foods that speak your body's language.

[goofy girl]

I, somewhere, somehow... got the guts to apply to college. Real college. No more community college, and no more only being half an hour from home at girls' school.
Real college... away from home...

Holy crap, I'm nervous.

It will be awesome!! :D

[calauria]

I've been really sick lately and have not been outside for a week. I have a sibling who lives only right next door. She knows I've been sick, yet she hasn't even been by to check on my kids and me. To see if I'm even still alive!! She only comes by when she wants something!!!!!:mad:

[calauria]

What happened to my "It still feels like rape" thread:confused:

[calauria]

Getting angry has made me sleepy....lol

But still I'm mad!!:mad:

[CarlaSixx]

IC I feel that if the people from my past were to see me at my weight now, they would say to themselves "Thank God I stopped talking to her." :(

[calauria]

IC I feel that if the people from my past were to see me at my weight now, they would say to themselves "Thank God I stopped talking to her." :(

Those types of people are not worth bothering with. Besides, they probably look like roadkill and would only be jealous of you.

[KittyKitten]

Nagging me about my weight is not doing anything but pissing me off.

[Punkin1024]

Yeah. I've totally tried to do this, and am still trying. Last night I made chipotle beef with pearled barley and cauliflower and whole wheat blondies for dessert. These blondies are special as they're made with whole wheat, olive oil instead of butter, and honey instead of sugar. They also have organic almond butter, and coconut milk, and 72% cocao chips in them. They taste healthy, but they still taste good. I've been cooking out of this cook book (when I'm not eating out...) called the Master Your Metabolism cookbook, it's all about healthy eating and fresh organic foods, and real nonprocessed foods that speak your body's language.

Wow - those whole wheat blondies sound wonderful! I'm gonna look for that cookbook, sounds like it is exactly what I'd like in a cookbook!

[CarlaSixx]

IC tonight I had a blast!

My size did not stop me from dancing pretty much all night. Nor did it stop people from approaching me. Apparently I was the life of the party and I really liked that :) Leave it to my gays to make me feel better about myself, lol. It was great!

[spiritangel]

IC tonight I had a blast!

My size did not stop me from dancing pretty much all night. Nor did it stop people from approaching me. Apparently I was the life of the party and I really liked that :) Leave it to my gays to make me feel better about myself, lol. It was great!

Awesome and glad to hear it

I love gay guys I have had times in sydney where they have come up to me on the street and told me how fabulous I look it sooo makes your day for anyone to tell you you look great especially on a day your not really feeling it

[AnotherJessica]

I'm finally realizing after a very long time that I've been incredibly stupid and have settled for much less than what I deserve.

[LovelyLiz]

Just ran into the guy from this post (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1443862&postcount=1946) (the one who flirted up a storm with me in a class last term, asked me out for coffee, and was engaged the whole time to a woman he never thought to mention). For a lot of reasons I won't go into, that sequence of events took me into a pretty dark space over the past couple of months, which I am now just only barely beginning to emerge from.

He just said, "My fiancee and I need to have you over some time. We can drink a lot of wine and talk about music. You're so great. And she would really like you - you remind me of a good friend of hers, but you're shorter."

I know he's trying to be nice, and he genuinely likes me, and I'm just being bitter...but seriously man, I'll go over to your house and hang out with you and your fiancee when hell freezes over.

At least this encounter reminded me that I need to keep working to let the baggage from this event go. I don't want to hang onto these negative feelings - they bear bad fruit in my life. I want good fruit. :)

[Fallenangel2904]

Depression is difficult for anyone - especially us women. I hope you are seeing a professional for help. Let us know how we can help you pull through this. ((((Hugs))))

I can totally relate to this, sending good vibes your way, I'm sorry you're suffering right now..

Thank you both. I've been going through a very hard break up the last 3-4 weeks and it's taken its toll on me. So much hurt, anger, pain, betrayal....I can't even get into it because it's one big mess after another that just keeps snowballing, but it has brought me so far down. Thank you very much for the concern. I'm starting to try to be alright, and I appreciate the well wishes more then you know.

[Carrie]

Thank you both. I've been going through a very hard break up the last 3-4 weeks and it's taken its toll on me. So much hurt, anger, pain, betrayal....I can't even get into it because it's one big mess after another that just keeps snowballing, but it has brought me so far down. Thank you very much for the concern. I'm starting to try to be alright, and I appreciate the well wishes more then you know.
Robin, I just wanted to add my hope and good wishes for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this; breakups are very hard. Hang in there, kiddo.

[LoveBHMS]

Just ran into the guy from this post (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1443862&postcount=1946) (the one who flirted up a storm with me in a class last term, asked me out for coffee, and was engaged the whole time to a woman he never thought to mention). For a lot of reasons I won't go into, that sequence of events took me into a pretty dark space over the past couple of months, which I am now just only barely beginning to emerge from.

He just said, "My fiancee and I need to have you over some time. We can drink a lot of wine and talk about music. You're so great. And she would really like you - you remind me of a good friend of hers, but you're shorter."

I know he's trying to be nice, and he genuinely likes me, and I'm just being bitter...but seriously man, I'll go over to your house and hang out with you and your fiancee when hell freezes over.

At least this encounter reminded me that I need to keep working to let the baggage from this event go. I don't want to hang onto these negative feelings - they bear bad fruit in my life. I want good fruit. :)

Yeah...uh..funny how some people totally forget they're engaged when they flirt with others. Even if he's recently engaged officially unless it was a super whirlwind romance where they got engaged 2 days after they met, he knew he was in a relationship when he was flirting. I don't know of any couples where the guy brings home new friends for his fiancee. Betcha he's just covering his tracks and trying to act as if he was not coming onto you, just to make you think *you* got the wrong idea.

[Fallenangel2904]

Robin, I just wanted to add my hope and good wishes for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this; breakups are very hard. Hang in there, kiddo.

Carrie ::hugs:: thank you!!

[Punkin1024]

A little quiet in here this evening (at least at my usual haunts). I'm dealing with a lot of stress right now. Little talking time with hubby (we work at different hours, so our days and nights are mixed-up). Big changes going on at work, and people still don't get that I'm walking and eating healthy to be healthy - not lose weight. Still, I understand that most people in my world think that weight loss is my goal (sigh), so of course, they feel they are making me feel good by commenting on that instead of how glad they are that I have more energy and stamina. I am so glad I don't have to explain all this to you all. DIMS is my happy place. :)

[CarlaSixx]

IC I'm actually really happy that one of my friends is finally single and decided to stay that way. Now we can do fun things together and not have to really hear much about relationships and we can bitch about boys together. While it is a little sad that he's sad and stuff, I'm going to enjoy the time while he'S still in the mindset of "to hell with penises" :p

Also... IC I am REALLY stressing about the Gala in September. I need to have everything done before then and have it all be perfect. I have to design an outfit and either buy it or make it, and I really suck at designing but it's the only way to get anything done and I'm afraid to totally butcher everything. Especially the fact that it's so easy to not flatter a fat frame when doing drag. I am hoping I can pull this off but it's going to be a lot of work.

[spiritangel]

lots of hugs

break ups are never easy but sometimes people make them even harder than needs be (my ex turning psycho cyberbullier prooved that)

Hang in there Punkin, I hate being told I have lost weight ect makes me want to put it all straight back on, although on saying that I have loads in the last 5 years and what does my mother say to me "mandy have you put on weight?" sheesh I cant win lol, as long as you are happy, healthy ect then dont let what others think get you down

McBeth, whatever you choose to do remember, someone likes you for who you are, as a friend or otherwise that should boost you just a little and remember we all think your awesome!!! Whilst it may be hard letting go of the baggage and the bitterness is the right thing to do as all that negativity eats away at us from within. Never forget how wonderful and amazing you truly are


as for me just pulling myself out of a case of I feel like I am destined to be forever singles, by doing such fun stuff as chores and housework lol and a case of the green eyed monster cause my sister has been rubbing it in that she is getting the new e craft cutting machine cause her bf is buying for her and I cant afford it atm although I would love to get the pack she is getting cause it comes with tons of bonus stuffs. add to that a phone call in the wee small hrs of this morning from my cousin full of drama with her ex, and she has done the oh so brilliant thing and jumped into a new relationship and gotten engaged before she is even divorced, and then the sms's this morning from my sister about the site I saw the ecraft cheaper ect but then she decided she diddnt want that package and the one over here is better anyway lol meh what a day. It seems I am the token single girl atm, and seem to be being left out of lots of things as usual meh cant wait till october and my two week meditaion retreat

Hugs

[calauria]

lots of hugs

break ups are never easy but sometimes people make them even harder than needs be (my ex turning psycho cyberbullier prooved that)

Hang in there Punkin, I hate being told I have lost weight ect makes me want to put it all straight back on, although on saying that I have loads in the last 5 years and what does my mother say to me "mandy have you put on weight?" sheesh I cant win lol, as long as you are happy, healthy ect then dont let what others think get you down

McBeth, whatever you choose to do remember, someone likes you for who you are, as a friend or otherwise that should boost you just a little and remember we all think your awesome!!! Whilst it may be hard letting go of the baggage and the bitterness is the right thing to do as all that negativity eats away at us from within. Never forget how wonderful and amazing you truly are


as for me just pulling myself out of a case of I feel like I am destined to be forever singles, by doing such fun stuff as chores and housework lol and a case of the green eyed monster cause my sister has been rubbing it in that she is getting the new e craft cutting machine cause her bf is buying for her and I cant afford it atm although I would love to get the pack she is getting cause it comes with tons of bonus stuffs. add to that a phone call in the wee small hrs of this morning from my cousin full of drama with her ex, and she has done the oh so brilliant thing and jumped into a new relationship and gotten engaged before she is even divorced, and then the sms's this morning from my sister about the site I saw the ecraft cheaper ect but then she decided she diddnt want that package and the one over here is better anyway lol meh what a day. It seems I am the token single girl atm, and seem to be being left out of lots of things as usual meh cant wait till october and my two week meditaion retreat

Hugs

*hugs* Well, at least your sis calls you. My older sister lives next door to me with her boyfriend and two teens and she only comes over when she wants something. Last week I was really sick and she knew about it, but didn't come over to see how we were doing. And knowing I have two autistic lil ones. Good thing my lil ones and I are an independent bunch or else we'd be in trouble....My lil ones know to call 911 if it ever comes a time when mommie can't wake up or any other emergency. Only my mom came to see how I was doing that week and she lives across town.

[spiritangel]

*hugs* Well, at least your sis calls you. My older sister lives next door to me with her boyfriend and two teens and she only comes over when she wants something. Last week I was really sick and she knew about it, but didn't come over to see how we were doing. And knowing I have two autistic lil ones. Good thing my lil ones and I are an independent bunch or else we'd be in trouble....My lil ones know to call 911 if it ever comes a time when mommie can't wake up or any other emergency. Only my mom came to see how I was doing that week and she lives across town.

haha no it was text message and msn and believe me it is pretty rare, she never asks me over and we live about 10mins from each other she never even checks to see if I am ok considering that I am really isolated these days loosing the bestie and the bf within a few months of each other ect, her attitude is I am welcome at her house anytime but I dont like going where I havent been invited and when I do go I always feel like I am intruding.

Hugs I hear the not checking on you thing I was in hospital a few years back and she never even called me

she actually talks to one of my exes more than she talks to me hmm and come to think of it probbably sees him more as that is where they stay when shes in sydney with the girls I try not to dwell on these things but some days it does get to me especially as lately whenever she talks to me she is all about all the new scrapping stuff ect she has been buying knowing full well I just cant afford it. Family sux sometimes, I am always meh when I dont get to sleep properly and get woken up with text messages ect I will ge through it and remember sometimes friends make better family and your sister like mine needs a good boot up the butt and a reminder of what good sisters they have

[LovelyLiz]

Yeah...uh..funny how some people totally forget they're engaged when they flirt with others. Even if he's recently engaged officially unless it was a super whirlwind romance where they got engaged 2 days after they met, he knew he was in a relationship when he was flirting. I don't know of any couples where the guy brings home new friends for his fiancee. Betcha he's just covering his tracks and trying to act as if he was not coming onto you, just to make you think *you* got the wrong idea.

That's actually a really compelling theory, thanks for sharing it, and for sympathizing. I appreciate it.

McBeth, whatever you choose to do remember, someone likes you for who you are, as a friend or otherwise that should boost you just a little and remember we all think your awesome!!! Whilst it may be hard letting go of the baggage and the bitterness is the right thing to do as all that negativity eats away at us from within. Never forget how wonderful and amazing you truly are

I have enough people liking me as a friend! LOL. ;) Seriously though, thanks for your encouragement. Here's to both of us letting go of some of the baggage, bitterness and green-eyed-monsters we may be dealing with!

[Famouslastwords]

Wow - those whole wheat blondies sound wonderful! I'm gonna look for that cookbook, sounds like it is exactly what I'd like in a cookbook!

It's really good! I just made the brownies from that cookbook tonight, and I ate most of them throughout the course of the night. I keep telling myself at least it wasn't a box of processed brownies...whole wheat flour, no sugar added cocoa, honey again instead of sugar, olive oil instead of butter or vegetable oil, egg, and some of the usual suspects found in brownies like 1/4 tsp of salt, baking soda, and baking powder.

They also have a recipe for Russet fries that is delicious, but I try not to eat too many potatoes.

Both the brownies and the blondies are better after they've cooled down. The more room temperature, the better.

[MizzSnakeBite]

Adding my 2 cents in! I pray for you every day, girlie!

Thank ya so much, Ella :)

I, somewhere, somehow... got the guts to apply to college. Real college. No more community college, and no more only being half an hour from home at girls' school.
Real college... away from home...

Holy crap, I'm nervous.

Oooh! Congrats!!! You'll love it!


@Miz - praying hard for you chick *squishes*


Thanks, sweetie :).

Yeah. I've totally tried to do this, and am still trying. Last night I made chipotle beef with pearled barley and cauliflower and whole wheat blondies for dessert. These blondies are special as they're made with whole wheat, olive oil instead of butter, and honey instead of sugar. They also have organic almond butter, and coconut milk, and 72% cocao chips in them. They taste healthy, but they still taste good. I've been cooking out of this cook book (when I'm not eating out...) called the Master Your Metabolism cookbook, it's all about healthy eating and fresh organic foods, and real nonprocessed foods that speak your body's language.

Have you been impressed with the recipes you've made? Do you recommend the cookbook?


I've been really sick lately and have not been outside for a week. I have a sibling who lives only right next door. She knows I've been sick, yet she hasn't even been by to check on my kids and me. To see if I'm even still alive!! She only comes by when she wants something!!!!!:mad:

(((HUGS))) I hope you start feeling better soon.

IC I feel that if the people from my past were to see me at my weight now, they would say to themselves "Thank God I stopped talking to her." :(

Oh boy, yeah. That sucks. Calauria's right; they wouldn't be good people to be around.

IC tonight I had a blast!

My size did not stop me from dancing pretty much all night. Nor did it stop people from approaching me. Apparently I was the life of the party and I really liked that :) Leave it to my gays to make me feel better about myself, lol. It was great!

Glad you had a fun time :).

I'm finally realizing after a very long time that I've been incredibly stupid and have settled for much less than what I deserve.

(((hugs)))

Just ran into the guy from this post (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1443862&postcount=1946) (the one who flirted up a storm with me in a class last term, asked me out for coffee, and was engaged the whole time to a woman he never thought to mention). For a lot of reasons I won't go into, that sequence of events took me into a pretty dark space over the past couple of months, which I am now just only barely beginning to emerge from.

He just said, "My fiancee and I need to have you over some time. We can drink a lot of wine and talk about music. You're so great. And she would really like you - you remind me of a good friend of hers, but you're shorter."

I know he's trying to be nice, and he genuinely likes me, and I'm just being bitter...but seriously man, I'll go over to your house and hang out with you and your fiancee when hell freezes over.

At least this encounter reminded me that I need to keep working to let the baggage from this event go. I don't want to hang onto these negative feelings - they bear bad fruit in my life. I want good fruit. :)

Oh boy......that's loads of fun. lol Yeah, it's good to let all the bad feelings go, but even then, I would probably still feel uncomfortable about getting together.

You're a good fruit :).

Thank you both. I've been going through a very hard break up the last 3-4 weeks and it's taken its toll on me. So much hurt, anger, pain, betrayal....I can't even get into it because it's one big mess after another that just keeps snowballing, but it has brought me so far down. Thank you very much for the concern. I'm starting to try to be alright, and I appreciate the well wishes more then you know.

(((HUGS))) I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time right now.

A little quiet in here this evening (at least at my usual haunts). I'm dealing with a lot of stress right now. Little talking time with hubby (we work at different hours, so our days and nights are mixed-up). Big changes going on at work, and people still don't get that I'm walking and eating healthy to be healthy - not lose weight. Still, I understand that most people in my world think that weight loss is my goal (sigh), so of course, they feel they are making me feel good by commenting on that instead of how glad they are that I have more energy and stamina. I am so glad I don't have to explain all this to you all. DIMS is my happy place. :)

(((hugs))), Ms. Ella! I hope at least some of the stress decreases!





as for me just pulling myself out of a case of I feel like I am destined to be forever singles, by doing such fun stuff as chores and housework lol and a case of the green eyed monster cause my sister has been rubbing it in that she is getting the new e craft cutting machine cause her bf is buying for her and I cant afford it atm although I would love to get the pack she is getting cause it comes with tons of bonus stuffs. add to that a phone call in the wee small hrs of this morning from my cousin full of drama with her ex, and she has done the oh so brilliant thing and jumped into a new relationship and gotten engaged before she is even divorced, and then the sms's this morning from my sister about the site I saw the ecraft cheaper ect but then she decided she diddnt want that package and the one over here is better anyway lol meh what a day. It seems I am the token single girl atm, and seem to be being left out of lots of things as usual meh cant wait till october and my two week meditaion retreat

Hugs

(((HUGS))) to you too!

I'm sure a great guy and an ecraft are in your future!

[spiritangel]

Hugs Devi umm mayby ecraft is more possible than a guy atm


how are you feeling?

[Sweet Tooth]

IC Sometimes it's hard to keep one's mouth shut. And that's all I'm saying about that. LOL

[Vespertine]

That's actually a really compelling theory, thanks for sharing it, and for sympathizing. I appreciate it.

I just want to +1 what LovesBHM said.

IC waiting for an e-mail has me compulsively checking it. Somebody take my gmail app away...

[LoveBHMS]

I just want to +1 what LovesBHM said.

IC waiting for an e-mail has me compulsively checking it. Somebody take my gmail app away...

I also wanted to add that i'm laying down really good odds you have not heard the last of him. I'm guessing he's going to be super friendly over the next week or so.

Also 1 in 2 chance his fiancee isn't fat and he's a closet case.

[thirtiesgirl]

Just ran into the guy from this post (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1443862&postcount=1946) (the one who flirted up a storm with me in a class last term, asked me out for coffee, and was engaged the whole time to a woman he never thought to mention). For a lot of reasons I won't go into, that sequence of events took me into a pretty dark space over the past couple of months, which I am now just only barely beginning to emerge from.

He just said, "My fiancee and I need to have you over some time. We can drink a lot of wine and talk about music. You're so great. And she would really like you - you remind me of a good friend of hers, but you're shorter."

I know he's trying to be nice, and he genuinely likes me, and I'm just being bitter...but seriously man, I'll go over to your house and hang out with you and your fiancee when hell freezes over.

At least this encounter reminded me that I need to keep working to let the baggage from this event go. I don't want to hang onto these negative feelings - they bear bad fruit in my life. I want good fruit. :)

I hate it when guys behave this way. I think they think it's "safe" for them to flirt because they're engaged, fooling themselves into thinking they won't really do anything because they've got a fiance. But underneath the idea that it's "safe" to flirt is the thought that maybe they could make it work, maybe you'll be into a hook-up, even if they're engaged or married. They're not going to tell you at first to try and feel you out and reel you in. That whole "testing the waters" thing. Then they'll make some mention of their fiance or spouse to see how you'll react and see if you're willing to continue the flirtation. I've had this happen with married and engaged guys more times than I care to count. It absolutely sucks.

Good for you for letting things go and not hanging on to the bad feelings, though. That's something I still have a hard time doing. When I encounter shit like this in my life, I can brood about it for months.

[Famouslastwords]

Have you been impressed with the recipes you've made? Do you recommend the cookbook?

I do! I am impressed with the way they make healthy food taste pretty good. I can't glow enough about the book. There is a recipe for pear sorbet I want to try, but I need a ice cream maker to make it. So far, my favorite recipe (and I've made it twice since I've gotten this book) is almond crusted chicken. The coating is much better than any shake and bake I've had...and that's what I used to coat my chicken in. This is much healthier too.

They have a list of the things that each recipe does at the top of the recipe like decrease inflammation, boost metabolism, heart healthy, beautiful skin, etc. Sometimes there's so many things it does, just by a simple combination of things, that you're amazed!

[mossystate]

Doctor's appointment this morning. Went in to discuss the results of the vampires going after me last month. My blood glucose reading was elevated, so they also wanted to stick my finger to do the hemoglobin a1c test. I thought I was for sure going to get a diabetes diagnosis, but for now, I am skirting the monster. A1c was 5.9. That is slightly over the top of the acceptable range, so I really want to get that down.

My trigycerides were higher than normal, but she was not alarmed, saying it wasn't much...but there again is that lurking evil. My bad cholesterol was fine, and my good cholesterol was really good, so she said. Blood pressure had been 140/80 at my visit last month. Today it was something like 116/76. The weird thing was my weight. I don't know that the assistant got it right, but I was 20 pounds less than last year this time, the last time I knew my weight. That really makes NO sense...so I am wondering. I don't see a difference in how my clothing fits...at all...and my eating habits did not get magically better. Weird.

I do not want diabetes, and while I know I won't do everything I can to make that not happen, I hope I can do enough. The nurse practitioner was not a lecturing type, and that made everything feel less stressful. Small changes and I will go from there. How much of a fat woman am I that I told roomie that if I did get an absolute diabetes diagnosis, I was going to tell him to get me a huge birthday cake as my last big hurrah. * slaps forehead * lol

And that concludes this chapter of Monique Finally Starts Going To The Doctor.

[nettie]

IC I often visit this forum because I find such support, wisdom, and compassion from the women here. I know I don't post a lot, but I am here, and I need to say thanks more often. So .... thanks to all of you for sharing your stories, your insight, your love.

And big hugs to everyone who is hurting tonight.

[MizzSnakeBite]

Hugs Devi umm mayby ecraft is more possible than a guy atm


how are you feeling?

lol

Oh, not fabulous by any stretch. I'm still extremely swollen and bruised, and feel like I've been beaten. Being upright's a bitch, and I can hardly sleep. :-/

Anywho, thanks for asking :).

I do! I am impressed with the way they make healthy food taste pretty good. I can't glow enough about the book. There is a recipe for pear sorbet I want to try, but I need a ice cream maker to make it. So far, my favorite recipe (and I've made it twice since I've gotten this book) is almond crusted chicken. The coating is much better than any shake and bake I've had...and that's what I used to coat my chicken in. This is much healthier too.

They have a list of the things that each recipe does at the top of the recipe like decrease inflammation, boost metabolism, heart healthy, beautiful skin, etc. Sometimes there's so many things it does, just by a simple combination of things, that you're amazed!

Thanks!

Doctor's appointment this morning. Went in to discuss the results of the vampires going after me last month. My blood glucose reading was elevated, so they also wanted to stick my finger to do the hemoglobin a1c test. I thought I was for sure going to get a diabetes diagnosis, but for now, I am skirting the monster. A1c was 5.9. That is slightly over the top of the acceptable range, so I really want to get that down.

My trigycerides were higher than normal, but she was not alarmed, saying it wasn't much...but there again is that lurking evil. My bad cholesterol was fine, and my good cholesterol was really good, so she said. Blood pressure had been 140/80 at my visit last month. Today it was something like 116/76. The weird thing was my weight. I don't know that the assistant got it right, but I was 20 pounds less than last year this time, the last time I knew my weight. That really makes NO sense...so I am wondering. I don't see a difference in how my clothing fits...at all...and my eating habits did not get magically better. Weird.

I do not want diabetes, and while I know I won't do everything I can to make that not happen, I hope I can do enough. The nurse practitioner was not a lecturing type, and that made everything feel less stressful. Small changes and I will go from there. How much of a fat woman am I that I told roomie that if I did get an absolute diabetes diagnosis, I was going to tell him to get me a huge birthday cake as my last big hurrah. * slaps forehead * lol

And that concludes this chapter of Monique Finally Starts Going To The Doctor.

Yea Mossy!!!

[calauria]

Thanks MizzSnakeBite. *hugs* And, I hope all is going well with you.:)

And, I hope all is going well with the rest of the ladies on this board, if not, super, big hugs to all of you.:)

You know, I've just realize that, like 95% of the people on my facebook friends are people who bullied me all through elementary school to high school, people who bullied me in college, toxic friends and lovers who took sexual advantage of me. And I have 205 people on my friends list! Why do I have them on there? And, they are oh so nice and kind to me now...Why?? And, we don't bring up none of the things that they've done to me. I don't know what is more worse: that I have them on my friends list or that most of the connections of my past have been toxic ones. You know, I'm beginning to believe that something is wrong with me. Something is just not right.

[CarlaSixx]

You know, I've just realize that, like 95% of the people on my facebook friends are people who bullied me all through elementary school to high school, people who bullied me in college, toxic friends and lovers who took sexual advantage of me. And I have 205 people on my friends list! Why do I have them on there? And, they are oh so nice and kind to me now...Why?? And, we don't bring up none of the things that they've done to me. I don't know what is more worse: that I have them on my friends list or that most of the connections of my past have been toxic ones. You know, I'm beginning to believe that something is wrong with me. Something is just not right.

I had the same thing happen to me. I was in contact with them and everything, but these people had been very toxic for me. My list had been in the 300s. Most of them from high school since I went to a very small elementary school in the countryside, but basically people I added or who added me basically because we remembered who each other was. One day I was fed up with it and blamed the negativity in my life on keeping these folks around. I cleared out almost 200 people off my list in a little over an hour. It felt lonely for awhile, as I no longer had people to chat to, but I ended up feeling better in the long run. And I've not added a single one back since. It was a tough decision that I thought about for about 4 months, but I ended up doing it with fabulous results on my life as a whole. I even deleted family, lol. It did a world of good.

[MizzSnakeBite]

Thanks MizzSnakeBite. *hugs* And, I hope all is going well with you.:)

And, I hope all is going well with the rest of the ladies on this board, if not, super, big hugs to all of you.:)

You know, I've just realize that, like 95% of the people on my facebook friends are people who bullied me all through elementary school to high school, people who bullied me in college, toxic friends and lovers who took sexual advantage of me. And I have 205 people on my friends list! Why do I have them on there? And, they are oh so nice and kind to me now...Why?? And, we don't bring up none of the things that they've done to me. I don't know what is more worse: that I have them on my friends list or that most of the connections of my past have been toxic ones. You know, I'm beginning to believe that something is wrong with me. Something is just not right.

Thanks so much, sweetie :).

Personally, unless they've apologized, I would de-friend them. I know people can change, but I don't think I'd want them around unless they really have changed and have apologized for past actions. They may not remember, so you might contact them with your realization and see what they say.

For the ones that have taken sexual advantage of you........I'd de-friend them and be done with them.

[Punkin1024]

lots of hugs

Hang in there Punkin, I hate being told I have lost weight ect makes me want to put it all straight back on, although on saying that I have loads in the last 5 years and what does my mother say to me "mandy have you put on weight?" sheesh I cant win lol, as long as you are happy, healthy ect then dont let what others think get you down

It seems I am the token single girl atm, and seem to be being left out of lots of things as usual meh cant wait till october and my two week meditaion retreat

Hugs

Thanks, spiritangel! Also, October is my favorite month (birthday month) and Autumn is my favorite time of year. Like you, I can hardly wait because I have my last full week vacation planned for the week of Halloween!

It's really good! I just made the brownies from that cookbook tonight, and I ate most of them throughout the course of the night. I keep telling myself at least it wasn't a box of processed brownies...whole wheat flour, no sugar added cocoa, honey again instead of sugar, olive oil instead of butter or vegetable oil, egg, and some of the usual suspects found in brownies like 1/4 tsp of salt, baking soda, and baking powder.
Both the brownies and the blondies are better after they've cooled down. The more room temperature, the better.

Oh my gosh! Now I really am going to have to find that cookbook and add it to my arsenal of healthy cooking recipes!

Doctor's appointment this morning. Went in to discuss the results of the vampires going after me last month.
I do not want diabetes, and while I know I won't do everything I can to make that not happen, I hope I can do enough.

And that concludes this chapter of Monique Finally Starts Going To The Doctor.
I am so glad you went for the checkup and that you are doing what is necessary to avoid diabetes. This is why I'm working on changing my eating habits and exercising at least 4 times a week. Hugs to you my friends for taking care of you!

IC I often visit this forum because I find such support, wisdom, and compassion from the women here. I know I don't post a lot, but I am here, and I need to say thanks more often. So .... thanks to all of you for sharing your stories, your insight, your love.

And big hugs to everyone who is hurting tonight.

The very reasons you find me in here! This is a great place to hang out, isn't it?! And, hugs back to you Nettie!

Thanks MizzSnakeBite. *hugs* And, I hope all is going well with you.:)

And, I hope all is going well with the rest of the ladies on this board, if not, super, big hugs to all of you.:)

You know, I've just realize that, like 95% of the people on my facebook friends are people who bullied me all through elementary school to high school, people who bullied me in college, toxic friends and lovers who took sexual advantage of me. You know, I'm beginning to believe that something is wrong with me. Something is just not right.

Calauria - I've got several "friends" on Facebook that were not the best of friends to me in High School and College. I've found, that with age, most of these people want to leave their teenage past behind them and some don't even realize that they emotionally hurt me. So, don't think there is something wrong with you. Just do what I do, try to make more REAL friends and put them in a special group on Facebook. I've got many friends from DIMS there and, ya know, they're the ones that respond to me the most in there. :)

[LovelyLiz]

lol

Oh, not fabulous by any stretch. I'm still extremely swollen and bruised, and feel like I've been beaten. Being upright's a bitch, and I can hardly sleep. :-/

Anywho, thanks for asking :)

I'm still thinking of you too, woman. Hope your body heals quickly, and that you have some comfort and are able to sleep! That can make such a difference in mood. Take good care.

[luscious_lulu]

I had a really great time in Vegas. I made so many new friends and had so much fun. It's totally worth the bash flu that I have now. :p

[OneWickedAngel]

Thanks MizzSnakeBite. *hugs* And, I hope all is going well with you.:)

And, I hope all is going well with the rest of the ladies on this board, if not, super, big hugs to all of you.:)

You know, I've just realize that, like 95% of the people on my facebook friends are people who bullied me all through elementary school to high school, people who bullied me in college, toxic friends and lovers who took sexual advantage of me. And I have 205 people on my friends list! Why do I have them on there? And, they are oh so nice and kind to me now...Why?? And, we don't bring up none of the things that they've done to me. I don't know what is more worse: that I have them on my friends list or that most of the connections of my past have been toxic ones. You know, I'm beginning to believe that something is wrong with me. Something is just not right.

You aren't who you were in high school and neither are your former classmates (hopefully). Listen to Spirit. Put then in a special place and leave them and as much of those past hurts as possible there. Who knows? As you get to continue to get to know each other as adults, you may find later on that there are one or two you can forgive and they can come off the special list and just be a real friend. In the meanwhile, live your life with your real friends, the ones who love and support you and will only take you down a peg when even you'll admit you needed the reality check.

Don't you dare punish yourself now for the crap they did to you then.

[CastingPearls]

You know, I've just realize that, like 95% of the people on my facebook friends are people who bullied me all through elementary school to high school, people who bullied me in college, toxic friends and lovers who took sexual advantage of me. And I have 205 people on my friends list! Why do I have them on there? And, they are oh so nice and kind to me now...Why?? And, we don't bring up none of the things that they've done to me. I don't know what is more worse: that I have them on my friends list or that most of the connections of my past have been toxic ones. You know, I'm beginning to believe that something is wrong with me. Something is just not right.

You aren't who you were in high school and neither are your former classmates (hopefully). Listen to Spirit. Put then in a special place and leave them and as much of those past hurts as possible there. Who knows? As you get to continue to get to know each other as adults, you may find later on that there are one or two you can forgive and they can come off the special list and just be a real friend. In the meanwhile, live your life with your real friends, the ones who love and support you and will only take you down a peg when even you'll admit you needed the reality check.

Don't you dare punish yourself now for the crap they did to you then.

I have a lot of Facebook friends because I play a lot of games when I can't sleep (insomniac) but I've had requests from quite a few bullies from school and the old neighborhood. And it's funny but a good number of them have contacted me to apologize for their past behavior. In fact, I recently had a party and invited one who told me to my shock that they were actually jealous of me because I was 'so popular' and I swear I don't remember it that way but others have said it too. Other former bullies have commented how well I did for myself and there wasn't a shred of malice in it (I'm a really good judge of that) and then tell me how their life didn't turn out the way they planned. (whose does, really?) I'm a firm believer in 'living well is the best revenge' so I'm not holding onto any grudges and I DO believe people can change and grow up. A lot don't but I'm not going to refuse an olive branch when someone sincerely apologizes and/or wants to be friends or at least keep in touch. Some of my best friends were first my most bitter enemies.

[Tina]

There was this one girl from church way back when I was Mormon and in high school. I had a couple of female friends, but she lured them away and turned them against me. She was a twin and very popular and pretty (but ugly to me) and a cheerleader. She and her group played mean pranks on me every chance they got. She was brutal. They were brutal. She was probably the non-family-member most responsible for fat-related trauma in my life. She used to turn people against me, leave notes in my locker, and get others to play pranks on me with her. She was hateful, mean and calculating. I cannot describe the hellishness I went through at her hands. I should have soundly kicked her ass, but I didn't. Was still too fresh from childhood abuse, and feeling like the things she said about me must be true, and was too used to all kinds of abuse to rise up and slap the living shit out of her.

So just by chance I look her up on Facebook and there she is. She's now evidently living in Provo, Utah. Married the cutest Mormon boy in our Ward.

So, I wrote her this note. Not being a 'friend' I could just see her photo and saw that she still looked very much the same (was probably an old photo :p). I wrote this to her:

"Hi Sherrie,

I see you're still pretty. On the outside.

Found your profile on Facebook and I'm just wondering if you're still cruel, judgmental and mean towards fat people. It must have been a nightmare for you to have had such a fat father. I would have thought that him being so big might have made you a more compassionate person, but I guess just like those who have been abused, some go on to use their experience to help others, and some go on to abuse others.

I hope that none of your children are fat, and that if they are, you grew up enough, and evolved, in order to make them feel loved, and not hate their bodies and themselves because of your bigotry.

Tina"


Just for shits and giggles I thought I'd check my Facebook to see if she'd written back. I'm guessing she blocked me. So much for learning from mistakes and making amends. Very mature behavior, that. :rolleyes:

[Lovelyone]

Thanks MizzSnakeBite. *hugs* And, I hope all is going well with you.:)

And, I hope all is going well with the rest of the ladies on this board, if not, super, big hugs to all of you.:)

You know, I've just realize that, like 95% of the people on my facebook friends are people who bullied me all through elementary school to high school, people who bullied me in college, toxic friends and lovers who took sexual advantage of me. And I have 205 people on my friends list! Why do I have them on there? And, they are oh so nice and kind to me now...Why?? And, we don't bring up none of the things that they've done to me. I don't know what is more worse: that I have them on my friends list or that most of the connections of my past have been toxic ones. You know, I'm beginning to believe that something is wrong with me. Something is just not right.

Here's a story of which I can relate:
When I turned 27, my insurance man passed away and they gave his business to someone new. As I went in to pay my car insurance I realized that the woman who was secretary to the new ins. man was a girl I HATED in high school. She was a cheerleader who tormented me with nastiness all through high school. She and her friends were relentless in their endeavors to make me feel like an outcast, humiliate me and embarrass me--so seeing her after all those years instantly brought a rush of anger and frustration back to me. My face got hot and red and all I could think inside my head was "tell the bitch off" but I didn't. She was kind and polite as she took my payment and informed me that she was in charge of all of the the high school reunion business that would be happening the following year. She made the mistake of asking me if I would be attending. I said to her, "I don't think I would like to attend that reunion. The people of that high school made me feel horrible, attacked my self esteem, created drama when there shouldn't have been any, and basically treated me like an outcast. Why would ANYONE want to attend such an event?"
Her response was the following:
"You aren't the only person who's stated such things to me. I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry for treating you in such a manner. We were all children trying to fit in and find a place. I also had esteem problems, felt like an outcast in my circle of friends, and some of the guys gave me a reputation. I lived through it, became a better person, and hopefully you can see that. Whether or not you come is up to you, but I would hope that you decide to come with your head held high and show everyone that you came through it resiliently." I thanked her for her words and apology, and basically told her that I had moved past all that and didn't wish to attend cos it would bring up nothing but bad memories for me. As someone stated before, that was a long time ago and people had changed but I really don't have any desire to prove myself to those people.
Tying it all in, I've had some people from high school who treated me awfully who have asked for a friend request. I add them...but that doesn't mean that I have to KNOW them personally.

[fatgirlflyin]

couldn't sleep tonight so watched the movie Feed on Netflix. One of the main characters reminded me of a specific Dim's poster and now I don't think I will ever be able to read another post of his without thinking of that movie.

[calauria]

Thank you ladies for all the awesome advise and support. This is why I love you all so much and am not ashamed to share what's in my heart of hearts.:wubu:

[nettie]

IC that I'm approaching the one year anniversary of my marriage ending and while I tell those around me I'm doing fine, I'm really not. :(

[littlefairywren]

IC that I'm approaching the one year anniversary of my marriage ending and while I tell those around me I'm doing fine, I'm really not. :(

Nettie, I had a hard time too that first anniversary date (memories can be very painful, and for varying reasons). But it will, and does get easier. (((Hugs)))

[aocutiepi]

IC that everything was going pretty okay today up until the drive home from the gym--I'd found a great used stroller/carseat combo for my sister at a yard sale I stopped by on a whim, had lunch with her, and kicked major butt at the gym... I've never been this sore, ever.

Dad went with me because he's trying to lose weight too. On the way home, he was talking about trying to fix my "eating habits" and how it was a shame that I "don't really like vegetables" because he "wants me to get healthy." I went on to say that I want to get healthy too but I'm nervous about being seen as a different person by everyone I know if I do end up losing a significant amount of weight, and that the simple minded people I've grown up around will talk about how beautiful I've become and how proud of me they are like the only major accomplishment in my life will have been losing weight and becoming "acceptable"--I've seen it happen to other large friends of mine who lost weight. That somehow turned to men and how I'll probably finally find someone when I lose 100 pounds because (his words, not mine) "99.9% of men like thin women." I argued that I thought guys who liked fat chicks exist (thank you Dims) and he said, "Yeah, there are probably a few strange ones."

It made me upset because I'm finally starting to learn to accept that my body is okay and that I'm lovable and there are guys out there who won't be settling for me because they can't score a skinny lady and who might actually prefer my body type. And then I feel like I was pushed back to square one. I was just getting ready to ask I guy I really like to be a date to a function with me after spending weeks working up the courage, but now I'm of the mindset that he's probably only interested in a platonic relationship because there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that he's attracted to me... because I'm fat and he doesn't seem strange enough to be in the .1%.

I love my dad and I know he means well, but it was really hard for me to take. I locked myself in the bathroom with my iPod on sad songs and bawled my eyes out for a good twenty minutes.

Also... my mother has always been at least a size 12 and up to a 22 for the duration of their 31 year marriage, which makes me wonder if he is/was ever attracted to her. Which makes me super sad.


IC I often visit this forum because I find such support, wisdom, and compassion from the women here. I know I don't post a lot, but I am here, and I need to say thanks more often. So .... thanks to all of you for sharing your stories, your insight, your love.

IC the same... I need to come here more often. I really love you ladies.

And big hugs to everyone who is hurting tonight.

IC this made me tear up again.

[CarlaSixx]

Aocutiepie, I'm sorry to hear the kind of day you've had with your father :( Mine always said that kind of thing to my face, among doing other things. It IS very tough, but he is wrong. Keep your chin up. Do what feels right for you. If it starts feeling like it's not for yourself, go back to you. And (((hugs)))



---------


IC it's only July, but I am already freaking out about Halloween. Usually I would have decided on my costumes by the end of April at the latest, but I'm only decided on one of my costumes right now, and just decided this week. I usually start working on my costumes at this point. And yes, that's plural, lol. I always have at least 2 costumes for Halloween. More if I'm going to attend costume parties, too. But for the day itself, I have a day costume and a night costume. Have done it that way since I was about 10 years old.

I'm freaking out about not being able to pull it off or find the things I need. I think the most important part of the one costume is the jacket, and I don't know where to find a jacket in my size for cheap :( And it has to be rather masculine. But then, it gets me worrying if I'll get a costume for the rest of the day. I need to decide on that soon, too, so that I can get to work. GAH!

I take Halloween and costume design really seriously. Along with decorations, lol.

[LovelyLiz]

aocutiepie...I'm so sorry you had such a rough day. It's not an easy thing to hang onto hope when sometimes there seems to be just contrary evidence at the moment in daily life. Hang in there, and may hope be rekindled in you after some good sleep.

[LovelyLiz]

IC that I'm approaching the one year anniversary of my marriage ending and while I tell those around me I'm doing fine, I'm really not. :(

So sorry, nettie. That's such a big loss. HUGS to you!

Are you going to do something to commemorate the day, somehow? I mean, like, to tie action, ritual, and bodily engagement with the emotional feelings. A close friend of mine, on the anniversary of his mother's death every year, scatters flowers growing nearby wherever he's living into a body of water and then goes for a swim among them. It's really healing for him.

Hope some of your friends will also be able to support you through this. Take care.

[MizzSnakeBite]

IC that I'm approaching the one year anniversary of my marriage ending and while I tell those around me I'm doing fine, I'm really not. :(

(((HUGS)))

IC that everything was going pretty okay today up until the drive home from the gym--I'd found a great used stroller/carseat combo for my sister at a yard sale I stopped by on a whim, had lunch with her, and kicked major butt at the gym... I've never been this sore, ever.

Dad went with me because he's trying to lose weight too. On the way home, he was talking about trying to fix my "eating habits" and how it was a shame that I "don't really like vegetables" because he "wants me to get healthy." I went on to say that I want to get healthy too but I'm nervous about being seen as a different person by everyone I know if I do end up losing a significant amount of weight, and that the simple minded people I've grown up around will talk about how beautiful I've become and how proud of me they are like the only major accomplishment in my life will have been losing weight and becoming "acceptable"--I've seen it happen to other large friends of mine who lost weight. That somehow turned to men and how I'll probably finally find someone when I lose 100 pounds because (his words, not mine) "99.9% of men like thin women." I argued that I thought guys who liked fat chicks exist (thank you Dims) and he said, "Yeah, there are probably a few strange ones."

It made me upset because I'm finally starting to learn to accept that my body is okay and that I'm lovable and there are guys out there who won't be settling for me because they can't score a skinny lady and who might actually prefer my body type. And then I feel like I was pushed back to square one. I was just getting ready to ask I guy I really like to be a date to a function with me after spending weeks working up the courage, but now I'm of the mindset that he's probably only interested in a platonic relationship because there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that he's attracted to me... because I'm fat and he doesn't seem strange enough to be in the .1%.

I love my dad and I know he means well, but it was really hard for me to take. I locked myself in the bathroom with my iPod on sad songs and bawled my eyes out for a good twenty minutes.

Also... my mother has always been at least a size 12 and up to a 22 for the duration of their 31 year marriage, which makes me wonder if he is/was ever attracted to her. Which makes me super sad.




IC the same... I need to come here more often. I really love you ladies.



IC this made me tear up again.

((HUGS))) to you too.

[luscious_lulu]

IC that I'm approaching the one year anniversary of my marriage ending and while I tell those around me I'm doing fine, I'm really not. :(

(((hugs))) There is no shame in not being ok with this loss. You feel how you feel and it's perfectly ok.

IC that everything was going pretty okay today up until the drive home from the gym--I'd found a great used stroller/carseat combo for my sister at a yard sale I stopped by on a whim, had lunch with her, and kicked major butt at the gym... I've never been this sore, ever.

Dad went with me because he's trying to lose weight too. On the way home, he was talking about trying to fix my "eating habits" and how it was a shame that I "don't really like vegetables" because he "wants me to get healthy." I went on to say that I want to get healthy too but I'm nervous about being seen as a different person by everyone I know if I do end up losing a significant amount of weight, and that the simple minded people I've grown up around will talk about how beautiful I've become and how proud of me they are like the only major accomplishment in my life will have been losing weight and becoming "acceptable"--I've seen it happen to other large friends of mine who lost weight. That somehow turned to men and how I'll probably finally find someone when I lose 100 pounds because (his words, not mine) "99.9% of men like thin women." I argued that I thought guys who liked fat chicks exist (thank you Dims) and he said, "Yeah, there are probably a few strange ones."

It made me upset because I'm finally starting to learn to accept that my body is okay and that I'm lovable and there are guys out there who won't be settling for me because they can't score a skinny lady and who might actually prefer my body type. And then I feel like I was pushed back to square one. I was just getting ready to ask I guy I really like to be a date to a function with me after spending weeks working up the courage, but now I'm of the mindset that he's probably only interested in a platonic relationship because there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that he's attracted to me... because I'm fat and he doesn't seem strange enough to be in the .1%.

I love my dad and I know he means well, but it was really hard for me to take. I locked myself in the bathroom with my iPod on sad songs and bawled my eyes out for a good twenty minutes.

Also... my mother has always been at least a size 12 and up to a 22 for the duration of their 31 year marriage, which makes me wonder if he is/was ever attracted to her. Which makes me super sad.



Some people just don't get it. Try not to let other people's perceptions taint the progress you are making. Everyday tell yourself you are a beautiful woman and you are worthy of love.

[spiritangel]

Hugs hugs and more hugs to all in need


IC I am very worried my bearbies that are on silent auction are going to go to their first bidders, and I will end up loosing money on them :(

[MizzSnakeBite]

Hugs hugs and more hugs to all in need


IC I am very worried my bearbies that are on silent auction are going to go to their first bidders, and I will end up loosing money on them :(

(((HUGS)))

Next time, to prevent that, have a reserve.

[Sweet Tooth]

Dad went with me because he's trying to lose weight too. On the way home, he was talking about trying to fix my "eating habits" and how it was a shame that I "don't really like vegetables" because he "wants me to get healthy." I went on to say that I want to get healthy too but I'm nervous about being seen as a different person by everyone I know if I do end up losing a significant amount of weight, and that the simple minded people I've grown up around will talk about how beautiful I've become and how proud of me they are like the only major accomplishment in my life will have been losing weight and becoming "acceptable"--I've seen it happen to other large friends of mine who lost weight. That somehow turned to men and how I'll probably finally find someone when I lose 100 pounds because (his words, not mine) "99.9% of men like thin women." I argued that I thought guys who liked fat chicks exist (thank you Dims) and he said, "Yeah, there are probably a few strange ones."

It made me upset because I'm finally starting to learn to accept that my body is okay and that I'm lovable and there are guys out there who won't be settling for me because they can't score a skinny lady and who might actually prefer my body type. And then I feel like I was pushed back to square one. I was just getting ready to ask I guy I really like to be a date to a function with me after spending weeks working up the courage, but now I'm of the mindset that he's probably only interested in a platonic relationship because there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that he's attracted to me... because I'm fat and he doesn't seem strange enough to be in the .1%.

I love my dad and I know he means well, but it was really hard for me to take. I locked myself in the bathroom with my iPod on sad songs and bawled my eyes out for a good twenty minutes.

Also... my mother has always been at least a size 12 and up to a 22 for the duration of their 31 year marriage, which makes me wonder if he is/was ever attracted to her. Which makes me super sad.



This seems to be the week for me to talk about some of my experiences with my family like this.

I know my family wasn't trying to be cruel or malicious. I believe they truly felt my life would be happier if I lost weight, so more men would find me attractive, so I wouldn't have discrimination while finding work, and so I could avoid the taunts of society. I do remember my dad discussing with my teachers teasing I'd get in school and making sure the situation was handled rather than letting it happen for my own good. Unfortunately, the comments and lack of support from them hurt far more than anything from the outside could dish.

Thank goodness I'm stubborn.

I first was smacked with the idea of big being acceptable when I saw a BBW magazine in a local store. I was repulsed and yet curiously drawn to it. The next time I was there, I bought my first copy, which I still have. I started reading on size acceptance, wrote papers on it in college classes, and joined my local NAAFA chapter. [Some of those people are still dear friends.]

It took my family a while to catch up with my changes. They just didn't get that this was a new way of life for me. Some fought it more than others, and some just keep their mouths shut... but they do it. My grandmother, to the end never quite got it, but she at least kept quiet.

But fathers... ... we get so much of how we relate to men in our lives from our dads, whether we want to or not. It's important that they think we're beautiful and special, even if we can eventually overcome hurt from dads who don't. You just keep doing what you need to do to love yourself and who you are.

My dad, towards the end of his life, and I had a talk where I confronted him about some of the negative talk he gave me about my weight under the guise of wanting the best for me. Literally it was like his eyes were opened and his mouth was shut. I'm so grateful I had that before he passed away. He may not have understood, but he had the graciousness to just give me support. You never know what your dad may come to see about you and your beauty.

Edited to add: My dad, at the end, also made it clear that even some "good" guys weren't good enough for me. I knew he valued me before that, but it took him awhile to be able to show it without conditional "but if you..." comments.

[calauria]

IC that everything was going pretty okay today up until the drive home from the gym--I'd found a great used stroller/carseat combo for my sister at a yard sale I stopped by on a whim, had lunch with her, and kicked major butt at the gym... I've never been this sore, ever.

Dad went with me because he's trying to lose weight too. On the way home, he was talking about trying to fix my "eating habits" and how it was a shame that I "don't really like vegetables" because he "wants me to get healthy." I went on to say that I want to get healthy too but I'm nervous about being seen as a different person by everyone I know if I do end up losing a significant amount of weight, and that the simple minded people I've grown up around will talk about how beautiful I've become and how proud of me they are like the only major accomplishment in my life will have been losing weight and becoming "acceptable"--I've seen it happen to other large friends of mine who lost weight. That somehow turned to men and how I'll probably finally find someone when I lose 100 pounds because (his words, not mine) "99.9% of men like thin women." I argued that I thought guys who liked fat chicks exist (thank you Dims) and he said, "Yeah, there are probably a few strange ones."

It made me upset because I'm finally starting to learn to accept that my body is okay and that I'm lovable and there are guys out there who won't be settling for me because they can't score a skinny lady and who might actually prefer my body type. And then I feel like I was pushed back to square one. I was just getting ready to ask I guy I really like to be a date to a function with me after spending weeks working up the courage, but now I'm of the mindset that he's probably only interested in a platonic relationship because there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that he's attracted to me... because I'm fat and he doesn't seem strange enough to be in the .1%.

I love my dad and I know he means well, but it was really hard for me to take. I locked myself in the bathroom with my iPod on sad songs and bawled my eyes out for a good twenty minutes.

Also... my mother has always been at least a size 12 and up to a 22 for the duration of their 31 year marriage, which makes me wonder if he is/was ever attracted to her. Which makes me super sad.




IC the same... I need to come here more often. I really love you ladies.



IC this made me tear up again.

Sorry, you have to go through this. *hugs*. I can empathize with you. My family is sorta like this, but a little bit more mean. They have shut up over the years, since I gave them a piece of my mind, it is more about their action than what they say that hurts now. I know it is very hard, but keep doing what you are doing. Keep saying and believing that you are a very beautiful woman and you deserved to be loved.

[littlefairywren]

IC that everything was going pretty okay today up until the drive home from the gym--I'd found a great used stroller/carseat combo for my sister at a yard sale I stopped by on a whim, had lunch with her, and kicked major butt at the gym... I've never been this sore, ever.

Dad went with me because he's trying to lose weight too. On the way home, he was talking about trying to fix my "eating habits" and how it was a shame that I "don't really like vegetables" because he "wants me to get healthy." I went on to say that I want to get healthy too but I'm nervous about being seen as a different person by everyone I know if I do end up losing a significant amount of weight, and that the simple minded people I've grown up around will talk about how beautiful I've become and how proud of me they are like the only major accomplishment in my life will have been losing weight and becoming "acceptable"--I've seen it happen to other large friends of mine who lost weight. That somehow turned to men and how I'll probably finally find someone when I lose 100 pounds because (his words, not mine) "99.9% of men like thin women." I argued that I thought guys who liked fat chicks exist (thank you Dims) and he said, "Yeah, there are probably a few strange ones."

It made me upset because I'm finally starting to learn to accept that my body is okay and that I'm lovable and there are guys out there who won't be settling for me because they can't score a skinny lady and who might actually prefer my body type. And then I feel like I was pushed back to square one. I was just getting ready to ask I guy I really like to be a date to a function with me after spending weeks working up the courage, but now I'm of the mindset that he's probably only interested in a platonic relationship because there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that he's attracted to me... because I'm fat and he doesn't seem strange enough to be in the .1%.

I love my dad and I know he means well, but it was really hard for me to take. I locked myself in the bathroom with my iPod on sad songs and bawled my eyes out for a good twenty minutes.

Also... my mother has always been at least a size 12 and up to a 22 for the duration of their 31 year marriage, which makes me wonder if he is/was ever attracted to her. Which makes me super sad.



I hope you're in a better space now, aocutiepi. Sometimes it feels like we reach a comfortable acceptance of our bodies, and it only takes one remark, and back we go to the insecurities that plague us. calauria is right, you are a beautiful woman and are deserving of love.

[aocutiepi]

Thank you guys for your kind words. I'm feeling a little better today but still not the best. It will take time.

[Punkin1024]

Thank you guys for your kind words. I'm feeling a little better today but still not the best. It will take time.

I am so sorry that you have had to deal with the frustration of people you love just not "getting it" when it comes to the world of BBW. I, too, have had to deal with this sort of mentality from family. The worst was when my dear Mom died. I had so many relatives telling me to lose the weight or I'd die young like she did (she was 59 when she died from uterine cancer). I know they meant well, but it was so disheartening for me. I am so thankful that I discovered BBW Magazine and from there discovered Dimensions. This place means a lot to me - it is my happy, comfort zone. I hope that you will come to find that there is a world of people that totally believe that fat is beautiful. Keep your spirits up and keep coming back to this place. Hugs!

[Lovelyone]

I confess that I love how soft my rolls are.

[CarlaSixx]

Well... it's happened.

I've now been medically labeled "unfit to work for medical reasons." And I was told it would be so for at least a year, and after a second assessment in 6 months from now, if there really isn't any improvement on the mental side as well as the physical, I will be put as permanently unemployable and will be on disability. Right now my family doctor is leaving the disability label up to my shrink because that's what's affecting me the most.

He marked down that I cannot work because of low energy/stamina, can't sit for too long, can't stand for over an hour, no walking, etc. And marked down all mental stuff, too. And it's been officially marked in my file that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. And then he explained to me that practically everything else that I was suffering from mentally was a side effect of the big thing. So now I've been pitched into the looney bin.

It doesn't make it easy when you're family thinks you're nuts and your friends think you're lazy and just not caring. It makes it seem like they don't care. Which, honestly, they aren't even close to understanding and they have said before that they don't care to think about what they can't understand. So, they mustn't care much about me.

It's funny how a piece of paper can make everything so much more real. I would have never thought I'd see the day where I was labeled "medically disabled." I thought I'd be dead before that could happen. And now, at just 20, that's officially what I've been called :(

[calauria]

Well... it's happened.

I've now been medically labeled "unfit to work for medical reasons." And I was told it would be so for at least a year, and after a second assessment in 6 months from now, if there really isn't any improvement on the mental side as well as the physical, I will be put as permanently unemployable and will be on disability. Right now my family doctor is leaving the disability label up to my shrink because that's what's affecting me the most.

He marked down that I cannot work because of low energy/stamina, can't sit for too long, can't stand for over an hour, no walking, etc. And marked down all mental stuff, too. And it's been officially marked in my file that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. And then he explained to me that practically everything else that I was suffering from mentally was a side effect of the big thing. So now I've been pitched into the looney bin.

It doesn't make it easy when you're family thinks you're nuts and your friends think you're lazy and just not caring. It makes it seem like they don't care. Which, honestly, they aren't even close to understanding and they have said before that they don't care to think about what they can't understand. So, they mustn't care much about me.

It's funny how a piece of paper can make everything so much more real. I would have never thought I'd see the day where I was labeled "medically disabled." I thought I'd be dead before that could happen. And now, at just 20, that's officially what I've been called :(

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Maybe you can get a second opinion? *hugs*

[spiritangel]

Well... it's happened.

I've now been medically labeled "unfit to work for medical reasons." And I was told it would be so for at least a year, and after a second assessment in 6 months from now, if there really isn't any improvement on the mental side as well as the physical, I will be put as permanently unemployable and will be on disability. Right now my family doctor is leaving the disability label up to my shrink because that's what's affecting me the most.

He marked down that I cannot work because of low energy/stamina, can't sit for too long, can't stand for over an hour, no walking, etc. And marked down all mental stuff, too. And it's been officially marked in my file that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. And then he explained to me that practically everything else that I was suffering from mentally was a side effect of the big thing. So now I've been pitched into the looney bin.

It doesn't make it easy when you're family thinks you're nuts and your friends think you're lazy and just not caring. It makes it seem like they don't care. Which, honestly, they aren't even close to understanding and they have said before that they don't care to think about what they can't understand. So, they mustn't care much about me.

It's funny how a piece of paper can make everything so much more real. I would have never thought I'd see the day where I was labeled "medically disabled." I thought I'd be dead before that could happen. And now, at just 20, that's officially what I've been called :(


Hugs Carla that is truly sucky and drawing the short straw, I understand how you feel as even seeing how sick I can get at times both my exes ended up telling me they thought I was just lazy

it sux, you are none of the above I think your awesome and amazing, I loved your film clip you have a real talent for it. Big hugs

[aocutiepi]

Well... it's happened.

I've now been medically labeled "unfit to work for medical reasons." And I was told it would be so for at least a year, and after a second assessment in 6 months from now, if there really isn't any improvement on the mental side as well as the physical, I will be put as permanently unemployable and will be on disability. Right now my family doctor is leaving the disability label up to my shrink because that's what's affecting me the most.

He marked down that I cannot work because of low energy/stamina, can't sit for too long, can't stand for over an hour, no walking, etc. And marked down all mental stuff, too. And it's been officially marked in my file that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. And then he explained to me that practically everything else that I was suffering from mentally was a side effect of the big thing. So now I've been pitched into the looney bin.

It doesn't make it easy when you're family thinks you're nuts and your friends think you're lazy and just not caring. It makes it seem like they don't care. Which, honestly, they aren't even close to understanding and they have said before that they don't care to think about what they can't understand. So, they mustn't care much about me.

It's funny how a piece of paper can make everything so much more real. I would have never thought I'd see the day where I was labeled "medically disabled." I thought I'd be dead before that could happen. And now, at just 20, that's officially what I've been called :(



Oh, Carla... what a tough break. I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder as well and was in a treatment facility twice last year. I'm thankfully doing better but at the time it definitely seemed like a death sentence. Feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to.

I think you are a wonderful lady and I enjoy reading your posts... try not to let unsupportive friends/family get you down. That, of course, can be easier said than done. My friends (at the time) treated me like they didn't believe that I was actually sick (they thought I was faking it) and that made me feel so alone in the world. Moving back home from college I'm rarely in contact with any of them anymore, so I guess I had that poison cut out of my life for me. It's a shame the people you're closest to don't want to make an effort to understand/care. You deserve all of that and more. I hope they come around. ::big hugs::

[LovelyLiz]

Well... it's happened.

I've now been medically labeled "unfit to work for medical reasons." And I was told it would be so for at least a year, and after a second assessment in 6 months from now, if there really isn't any improvement on the mental side as well as the physical, I will be put as permanently unemployable and will be on disability. Right now my family doctor is leaving the disability label up to my shrink because that's what's affecting me the most.

He marked down that I cannot work because of low energy/stamina, can't sit for too long, can't stand for over an hour, no walking, etc. And marked down all mental stuff, too. And it's been officially marked in my file that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. And then he explained to me that practically everything else that I was suffering from mentally was a side effect of the big thing. So now I've been pitched into the looney bin.

It doesn't make it easy when you're family thinks you're nuts and your friends think you're lazy and just not caring. It makes it seem like they don't care. Which, honestly, they aren't even close to understanding and they have said before that they don't care to think about what they can't understand. So, they mustn't care much about me.

It's funny how a piece of paper can make everything so much more real. I would have never thought I'd see the day where I was labeled "medically disabled." I thought I'd be dead before that could happen. And now, at just 20, that's officially what I've been called :(

That sounds really rough, Carla - and such tough stuff to have to face so young too. Truly sucks, I'm sorry. I have a question, tho - do you agree with the diagnosis, or not? Like, is the issue that it sucks to be medically disabled and you're coming to terms with that, or is the issue that you don't think it's really the right diagnosis? I wasn't quite sure from what you posted. Either way, I wish you all the best.

[CarlaSixx]

The issue is having to come to terms with it being medically diagnosed. I know it's the right diagnosis from what I've been told and read. My doc reccommended some books for me to read about BPD before giving the official diagnosis of it. It matches pretty much all of my behaviour perfectly. I may not act out on the same level as others do, because it's so variant when it's a mental disorder, but I do have pretty much all of the "symptoms" of it.

I had been hospitalized before, last year, and that's one of the things that was brought up. I wasn't in there for BPD, but things that actually aggravate it, instead. Now I'm afraid they're going to shove me back in there. A mental ward is such a horrible place to be, especially at my local hospital. The way they treat the patients is so cruel. Even a normal and completely sane person would be able to tell as much. It's no wonder people lash out at the workers and such. They mistreat them so much! I wasn't even allowed anything to keep me sane for the most part of the day. I was left to either sit by the window watching cars go by or stare at my ceiling. No books, no decent visual stimulation, no writing, no music, no walking in the corridors. Just sit, stay put, and think. Alone. I definitely went more nuts in there than I ever could out in the world. And I don't doubt for a second that it's the case for everyone else that gets put in that ward.

I'm just afraid of what they're going to do to me now that it's official. I have more reason than ever to be afraid of doctors and hate hospitals.

I'm "medically disabled" because of the mental health side of my overall health. I'm unfit to work because of mainly the physical, though the mental health side does play a role in it, too. It just sucks to be labeled "disabled" for any reason.

[Jes]

A diagnosis is not a death sentence. And many, many people are diagnosed with mental illness, especially Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't know what your physical limitations are but I do know that serious therapy and intentional thought and action on your part can do amazing things. Maybe you can use this diagnosis, which seems to have really saddened you, as a stepping stone. Don't give up on living a life of work, physical activity and relationships. Ever. And certainly not at 20 years old.

[CarlaSixx]

I'm on a waiting list for therapy, but I do know they'll be putting me in Intense Outpatient Treatment which I was part of before, but I missed one appointment and the hospital completely closed off my file. I've been referred (god, I think I always spell that wrong) to the same therapist as before, so he will know where I was at. It's kind of hard to speak to him or listen to him, though, lol. He looks like Robin Williams, eyes and all, and since he's got a foreign accent, it makes me think my therapist is RW imitating a foreign accent, lol. It seriously makes it hard to keep a straight face when looking him in the eye! :p

I pretty much have to give up on the relationship part. I live in a very small city and no one here is really fat friendly, and since travelling is damn near impossible, I have no options. And everyone is sick of hearing me say that, but everyone knows it's true.

But other than relationships, I don't think there's much to give up on. It's more waiting for the right chance to open up.

[*Ravenous*]

IC that I hate being a 23 year old SINGLE parent and let me make it clear that I dont hate being a parent I love my son to death I just hate the fact that his father lives 10miles away from us and doesnt help me do s*ht with him he rarely sees him and he just doesnt care...I feel like I let my son down so much...I breakdown from time to time cause I try to do so many things to make things better for us but it doesnt seem like enough...I was raised in a single parent household so I know the struggles that go on but I never would of thought I would be in the same position...

[BBW4Chattery]

I confess I accidentally shattered a CFL with my hand and am now too paranoid to go back in the room where it broke.

I confess I worry my cats will die because of my stupidity.

I confess I will likely seal off the room and not enter it for a few days other than to retrieve my phone.

I confess that room is my bedroom, so, you know... couch... here I come.

I confess I don't give a flip about the environment right now; I'm going back to regular light bulbs until I can afford LED bulbs.

Anyone want my CFL's?

[CarlaSixx]

I confess I accidentally shattered a CFL with my hand and am now too paranoid to go back in the room where it broke.
Anyone want my CFL's?

IC I don't know what a CFL is.

I just know it as "Canadian Football League" lmao.:rolleyes:

[littlefairywren]

I confess I accidentally shattered a CFL with my hand and am now too paranoid to go back in the room where it broke.

I confess I worry my cats will die because of my stupidity.

I confess I will likely seal off the room and not enter it for a few days other than to retrieve my phone.

I confess that room is my bedroom, so, you know... couch... here I come.

I confess I don't give a flip about the environment right now; I'm going back to regular light bulbs until I can afford LED bulbs.

Anyone want my CFL's?

When you finally do make your way back into your bedroom, just wear disposable gloves, and some kind of protective clothing and sweep up the broken globe to prevent toxic dust from spreading through the home. I would be tempted to vacuum, but the particles would probably spread further unless you happen to have a bagless vac.

Better to be safe than sorry.

[thirtiesgirl]

The issue is having to come to terms with it being medically diagnosed. I know it's the right diagnosis from what I've been told and read. My doc reccommended some books for me to read about BPD before giving the official diagnosis of it. It matches pretty much all of my behaviour perfectly. I may not act out on the same level as others do, because it's so variant when it's a mental disorder, but I do have pretty much all of the "symptoms" of it.

A diagnosis is not a death sentence. And many, many people are diagnosed with mental illness, especially Borderline Personality Disorder.

For the record, borderline personality disorder is not a mental disorder. It's a personality disorder, which is very different and harder to diagnose. My mother has it, although she doesn't agree that she does and has never gotten treatment for it. I also know that it's a diagnosis given to a lot of women and it's not necessarily accurate. I always think a second opinion is helpful when it comes to BPD.

That said, I'm sorry to hear about the disability diagnosis, Carla. If you trust your doctor's diagnosis of BPD, the best thing you can do is get treatment. But if you're having trouble being comfortable with your therapist, you can always ask for another one. One of the most important parts of the therapeutic relationship is being comfortable with, respecting and trusting your therapist. If any of those things are missing, the therapeutic relationship won't be as strong and the therapy won't work as well. I'd see if you can request another one, because having a therapist who looks like Robin Williams would seriously weird me out, too. I once saw a doctor who looked like John Cleese and I kept expecting him to break into the Minister of Silly Walks at any moment. It was very distracting, especially when just looking at him made me want giggle. I couldn't concentrate on anything he said.

[littlefairywren]

Well... it's happened.

I've now been medically labeled "unfit to work for medical reasons." And I was told it would be so for at least a year, and after a second assessment in 6 months from now, if there really isn't any improvement on the mental side as well as the physical, I will be put as permanently unemployable and will be on disability. Right now my family doctor is leaving the disability label up to my shrink because that's what's affecting me the most.

He marked down that I cannot work because of low energy/stamina, can't sit for too long, can't stand for over an hour, no walking, etc. And marked down all mental stuff, too. And it's been officially marked in my file that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. And then he explained to me that practically everything else that I was suffering from mentally was a side effect of the big thing. So now I've been pitched into the looney bin.

It doesn't make it easy when you're family thinks you're nuts and your friends think you're lazy and just not caring. It makes it seem like they don't care. Which, honestly, they aren't even close to understanding and they have said before that they don't care to think about what they can't understand. So, they mustn't care much about me.

It's funny how a piece of paper can make everything so much more real. I would have never thought I'd see the day where I was labeled "medically disabled." I thought I'd be dead before that could happen. And now, at just 20, that's officially what I've been called :(

Carla, I am sorry that you have so much to deal with in your life. Hugs!

[BBW4Chattery]

When you finally do make your way back into your bedroom, just wear disposable gloves, and some kind of protective clothing and sweep up the broken globe to prevent toxic dust from spreading through the home. I would be tempted to vacuum, but the particles would probably spread further unless you happen to have a bagless vac.

Better to be safe than sorry.

Thank you so much!! I have went in there a few times to grab my phone and close the window when it started to storm. I think I will deal with it tomorrow. I need to finish some paperwork tonight.

thanks again for the info about it. It's funny how the tiniest things can end up being so stressful for me sometimes. Bleh.

[BBW4Chattery]

I'm on a waiting list for therapy, but I do know they'll be putting me in Intense Outpatient Treatment which I was part of before, but I missed one appointment and the hospital completely closed off my file. I've been referred (god, I think I always spell that wrong) to the same therapist as before, so he will know where I was at. It's kind of hard to speak to him or listen to him, though, lol. He looks like Robin Williams, eyes and all, and since he's got a foreign accent, it makes me think my therapist is RW imitating a foreign accent, lol. It seriously makes it hard to keep a straight face when looking him in the eye! :p

I pretty much have to give up on the relationship part. I live in a very small city and no one here is really fat friendly, and since travelling is damn near impossible, I have no options. And everyone is sick of hearing me say that, but everyone knows it's true.

But other than relationships, I don't think there's much to give up on. It's more waiting for the right chance to open up.

Hi Carla, good luck with your treatment. If they happen to be doing dialectical behavioral therapy... you should know that's a wonderful, wonderful curriculum and it has tremendous success in symptom improvement of borderline conditions and traits.... or really any emotion dysregulation issues.

Also, stay strong about the relationship... that's a tricky thing for a lot of us! I'm in a similarly sinking boat. :)

[calauria]

IC that I hate being a 23 year old SINGLE parent and let me make it clear that I dont hate being a parent I love my son to death I just hate the fact that his father lives 10miles away from us and doesnt help me do s*ht with him he rarely sees him and he just doesnt care...I feel like I let my son down so much...I breakdown from time to time cause I try to do so many things to make things better for us but it doesnt seem like enough...I was raised in a single parent household so I know the struggles that go on but I never would of thought I would be in the same position...

I feel you dear. I'm a single parent, also of two autistic kids and it is very hard. I used to feel like I let my children down, because the father isn't around, either, because he is way too violent, how could I pick an abusive man to be the father of my children. But, then I began to think, "Well, damn it, I couldn't make a relationship work by myself, he's sorry ass had to work with me!" So, it is the father's damn fault that he is not seeing his child. HE IS THE ONE LETTING YOUR SON DOWN, NOT YOU!! *hugs*

[calauria]

I C that I am right now getting my major flirt on with my secret crushes via PM!!:D

[Tau]

IC that I hate being a 23 year old SINGLE parent and let me make it clear that I dont hate being a parent I love my son to death I just hate the fact that his father lives 10miles away from us and doesnt help me do s*ht with him he rarely sees him and he just doesnt care...I feel like I let my son down so much...I breakdown from time to time cause I try to do so many things to make things better for us but it doesnt seem like enough...I was raised in a single parent household so I know the struggles that go on but I never would of thought I would be in the same position...

Hey Ravenous - just sending you love and so many hugz. My sister was a single parent. She had my niece when she was 25 and in her 4th of medicine. The baby was premature and unwanted - it hurts me sooo badly to write that cos I was one of those who didn't want her and now she is the centre of my universe. We helped and supported her all we could but when you're a mom that baby is looking to you so, even though it wasn't me I know what that fear and disappointment feels like cos I've been close enough to taste it just a little. Things will get better - they always, always do. Please try to enjoy your boy - my sis says the one thing she regrets the most is that she doesn't remember how adorable my niece was. She looks back on that time and mostly remembers exhaustion and fear and pain and abandonment so even though its a really hard time please try to hold on to the gift and the miracle that your boy is.

[LovelyLiz]

IC that I hate being a 23 year old SINGLE parent and let me make it clear that I dont hate being a parent I love my son to death I just hate the fact that his father lives 10miles away from us and doesnt help me do s*ht with him he rarely sees him and he just doesnt care...I feel like I let my son down so much...I breakdown from time to time cause I try to do so many things to make things better for us but it doesnt seem like enough...I was raised in a single parent household so I know the struggles that go on but I never would of thought I would be in the same position...

Props to you for doing what you can and working hard, Ravenous. It's so not easy - not for the single parent, not for the single kid. A tough situation all around. I grew up with a single mom too (starting when I was in about 7th grade). Do you have other family members who can support you and give you breaks from time to time? or any other kind of community like friends, or church, or anything who are able to help? I definitely agree with that sentiment that it takes a village to raise a child. Sorry you're struggling right now, and I hope you're able to find some others to help.

[curveyme]

IC that this "virtual" world can be more therapeutic and nurturing than the real one sometimes. Best wishes to everyone struggling *big girl HUGS*

[Punkin1024]

It has been a "hormonal" kinda day (week actually) for me. Lots of changes going on at work and when I came home this evening, hubby had taken up the carpet in the bedroom and everything was out of place. Of course, he's been saying he would do this soon, but I had no idea today was the day. I just wasn't in the right frame of mind to handle this, so I closed myself up in the computer/library/slash office and stayed on the computer all evening. I also consumed 3 fudgesicles (chocolate is my "drug" of choice). Still a bit touchy, but I gotta get to bed soon.

[Britty]

I confess that I have never felt more attractive in my entire life than the past few days on Dims.

[calauria]

I confess that I have never felt more attractive in my entire life than the past few days on Dims.

That's because you are very attractive my dear!! It's about time you finally saw how you really look!!:wubu:

[Britty]

That's because you are very attractive my dear!! It's about time you finally saw how you really look!!:wubu:

Thank you so much! I think you're stunning!:bow:

[calauria]

Thank you so much! I think you're stunning!:bow:

Thank you, I'm flattered.:blush:

[Lovelyone]

I confess that my self esteem got a big big boost in Vegas from some unexpected polite comments. Made me smile (which feels unnatural for me) I liked that feeling and I think I will go with it. :)

[CastingPearls]

Thank you so much!! I have went in there a few times to grab my phone and close the window when it started to storm. I think I will deal with it tomorrow. I need to finish some paperwork tonight.

thanks again for the info about it. It's funny how the tiniest things can end up being so stressful for me sometimes. Bleh.
Um.....I'm pretty sure vacuuming them up are a serious no-no, as in spreading it around even more.....I'd google the cleaning instructions up for you if not for a serious headache but maybe look it up first before you plug that vac in!!!

[Punkin1024]

I hope today (Friday) was the end of my "bad stuff" week. I got in my car this a.m. to drive to work and it wouldn't start. :rolleyes: Called hubby, he was in Abilene, so he called a cousin. Cousin came over, my car was parked in such a way that there was no getting jumper cables to my dead battery. Meanwhile, hubby arrives, takes me to his office in our little town, and his boss drives me to work. Hubby lost time too. He finally got the battery charged, drove car to Sam's and puttered around for 30 minutes only to find that they didn't carry the battery for my Ford Focus. Turns out that Ford "fixed" it so you'd have to order/get the battery from them. They don't know my hubby, he drove to Interstate Battery and they "ahem" fit a battery in the car. ;) Now we're out the cost of the battery AND getting the state license sticker renewed (we were a month behind and only noticed it last weekend :eek: ). Still have the inspection sticker to go.

Which is why I'm so happy that I'm going to the Mall tomorrow to listen to a friend's daughter try out for a spot in American Idol. The winner tomorrow will get an all-expense-paid trip to Austin for the BIG finals next month. And then on the 7th of August, I get to meet fellow Dimmers in the Dallas Fiesta get-together. If you are interested, get the info in the Events - South forum.

:happy:

[Weeze]

So, I need to confess that I *love* reading posts here, and on facebook about other girls going FUCK IT and throwing temper tantrums, or getting upset about dumb crap JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN.... It makes me feel so much more normal :p

[CarlaSixx]

IC I really want to create a BBW event in my city but I have no idea how. I have zero coordinating/planning/organizing skills and so I have already flopped just thinking about hosting one, lol.

Still... I'd really like for one to be around here, even though it's quite a distance away from big cities (TO is 4.5 hrs away, Ott&MO is 1hr) but I guess it's more for personal reasons than anything else, lol.

[calauria]

Yeah, how would you go about getting a BBW event together?

[spiritangel]

First find a venue to start your costings, find a great time of year, theme ect

Decide what events you want to have

How many people need to attend, how much per person is needed to cover all expenses,
chat to local hotels to see if you can get a bulk group discoun

umm well they are the places I would start then next on the list would be advertising it and creating awareness, setting a date when deposits have to be paid by, ect or you could have a set lot of fees say a premiumm one that includes tickets to all events ata discounted rate, then lesser packages ect

just some ideas

[ashmamma84]

IC while at the grocery I had an odd thing happen to me. At checkout, the cashier was nice, smiled and proceeded to ring my groceries. Nothing odd about that. So, then she starts in about how healthy I eat and that for a woman of my size that's such a good thing (cuz I'se a good fatty!!!! :) ;) :rolleyes: )and once she rang my ice cream and creme brulee, she says, "Oops. I take back what I said. Not that healthy." Uh...say what, bitch? When has ringing up/bagging groceries given anyone the right to comment on what someone is buying. I don't give a damn if I had nothing but a cart of cakes and cookies - it's not your mutha effin' place to make comments! :mad:

I don't know what it is with some people. Now if I had been cut from a classless, ignorant cloth I would have stooped to her level and ripped her a new one. Instead, I got her name and complained to the manager on duty. Un-be-freaking-lievable! :mad: And she was a fat chick too! Insult, meet injury.

[Carrie]

IC while at the grocery I had an odd thing happen to me. At checkout, the cashier was nice, smiled and proceeded to ring my groceries. Nothing odd about that. So, then she starts in about how healthy I eat and that for a woman of my size that's such a good thing (cuz I'se a good fatty!!!! :) ;) :rolleyes: )and once she rang my ice cream and creme brulee, she says, "Oops. I take back what I said. Not that healthy." Uh...say what, bitch? When has ringing up/bagging groceries given anyone the right to comment on what someone is buying. I don't give a damn if I had nothing but a cart of cakes and cookies - it's not your mutha effin' place to make comments! :mad:

I don't know what it is with some people. Now if I had been cut from a classless, ignorant cloth I would have stooped to her level and ripped her a new one. Instead, I got her name and complained to the manager on duty. Un-be-freaking-lievable! :mad: And she was a fat chick too! Insult, meet injury.
Ugh. This is SUCH a pet peeve of mine. It feels so incredibly invasive. I don't care if they say something like, "oh, I love that kind of ice cream!", but when they start assigning and verbalizing value judgments to my food choices, that crosses a line. I'm sorry that happened to you, lovely, and yay! you for talking to the manager about it.

[LovelyLiz]

IC while at the grocery I had an odd thing happen to me. At checkout, the cashier was nice, smiled and proceeded to ring my groceries. Nothing odd about that. So, then she starts in about how healthy I eat and that for a woman of my size that's such a good thing (cuz I'se a good fatty!!!! :) ;) :rolleyes: )and once she rang my ice cream and creme brulee, she says, "Oops. I take back what I said. Not that healthy." Uh...say what, bitch? When has ringing up/bagging groceries given anyone the right to comment on what someone is buying. I don't give a damn if I had nothing but a cart of cakes and cookies - it's not your mutha effin' place to make comments! :mad:

I don't know what it is with some people. Now if I had been cut from a classless, ignorant cloth I would have stooped to her level and ripped her a new one. Instead, I got her name and complained to the manager on duty. Un-be-freaking-lievable! :mad: And she was a fat chick too! Insult, meet injury.

Dang, sorry you had this experience, ash - but I agree with Carrie, you handled it in a super classy and effective way. Hopefully your pro-active action will keep something like that from happening again (to anyone, fat or thin) to someone who will be hurt by it.
That's definitely happened to me before too, never in the negative way, but in the positive way. Like, Her: "You're buying grapefruit! Good for you! I'm trying to get back on my diet." Me: "I'm not on a diet, I just like grapefruit and trying to eat healthy." (And not in a bitchy way, I usually will even make a joke or smile or something.) If the negative thing happened tho, now at least I know a good way to respond. Thanks for sharing your experience!

[AnnMarie]

AGREE.

It's not okay to say what " good job " I'm doing either - say nothing. Like Carrie, I don't mind if you're like "hey, are those crackers good??" or "oh yeah, I love those chips" or something, but beyond that, don't you DARE judge my purchases. You don't know me or my life or what the hell I'm even shopping for. Keep your mouth shut, scan shit, tell me my total and we'll all move on with our lives.

[mszwebs]

I confess I feel like I'm living in an Eminem relationship song, without the whole getting my ass beat and or tied to a bed as the whole house burns down part.



I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight...

[Carrie]

AGREE.

It's not okay to say what " good job " I'm doing either - say nothing. Like Carrie, I don't mind if you're like "hey, are those crackers good??" or "oh yeah, I love those chips" or something, but beyond that, don't you DARE judge my purchases. You don't know me or my life or what the hell I'm even shopping for. Keep your mouth shut, scan shit, tell me my total and we'll all move on with our lives.
Can I just say, a few months ago I saw a feature on TV about these grocery stores where the entrance/exit area is equipped with scanners that somehow automatically scan the UPC codes on everything in your cart as you exit the building and then just charge the total to the debit or credit card they have on file for you. No standing in line, no price checks on Tampax, no dealing with nosy parker checkers. Just scan your shit, charge your card, have a nice day. I was so excited, I might have whimpered.

[CarlaSixx]

I'm presently dyeing my hair a solid purple. I got SO sick of seeing the blonde that the change is very welcome :D

As for the event planning... it's way too much for me to do, lol.

[aocutiepi]

I confess that I have never felt more attractive in my entire life than the past few days on Dims.

You are certainly beautiful, lovey. *squishy hugs* Dims makes me feel attractive too. It's so foreign to me!

[aocutiepi]

I confess that my self esteem got a big big boost in Vegas from some unexpected polite comments. Made me smile (which feels unnatural for me) I liked that feeling and I think I will go with it. :)

So awesome. Definitely go with it!

IC while at the grocery I had an odd thing happen to me. At checkout, the cashier was nice, smiled and proceeded to ring my groceries. Nothing odd about that. So, then she starts in about how healthy I eat and that for a woman of my size that's such a good thing (cuz I'se a good fatty!!!! :) ;) :rolleyes: )and once she rang my ice cream and creme brulee, she says, "Oops. I take back what I said. Not that healthy." Uh...say what, bitch? When has ringing up/bagging groceries given anyone the right to comment on what someone is buying. I don't give a damn if I had nothing but a cart of cakes and cookies - it's not your mutha effin' place to make comments! :mad:


So glad you went the classy route. I've been kind of a smartass lately and I might not have been so classy myself. ;) This is why when I go shopping I try to use the U-Scan lane. Less chance of nosy ass bitches making faces just because I got some Oreos. Not all grocers have them, but I love that my Kroger does.

I'm presently dyeing my hair a solid purple. I got SO sick of seeing the blonde that the change is very welcome :D


PICS!!! I've always wanted to dye my hair some crazy-not-found-in-nature color. I'm such a wimp though.

[CarlaSixx]

PICS!!! I've always wanted to dye my hair some crazy-not-found-in-nature color. I'm such a wimp though.

I will most definitely have pics :) I had to bleach my roots first, and I'm leaving the colour to tomorrow because I need to leave it in for hours at a time. I might put fishbowl blue streaks inside of it, too, like a highlight. But that's only if I can figure out how, lol.

I see my hair as, well, just hair. I've done way too many wild things with it that I would be up for trying anything. I've had orange, green, blue, red, yellow, blonde, brown hair. As well as maaaany different styles. My mother thinks I'm nuts because I'm not like a typical female who is so attached to their hair. You can shave off all my hair and I won't really care, lol. I'm that odd, I guess.

But colours... that's my thing! lol. I wanna taste the rainbow when it comes to hair, and I think I've only got 2 colours that are possible that I haven't yet tried out. So I'm almost there ;)

[Fallenangel2904]

I confess I feel like I'm living in an Eminem relationship song, without the whole getting my ass beat and or tied to a bed as the whole house burns down part.



I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight...

I pretty much could have wrote this myself ::hugs:: That song is a killer for me- reminds me so much of me and my ex and the crazy ass relationship we have. I'm sorry for what your going through!!

[luscious_lulu]

IC that even though she is having issues using the litterbox, I adore Guenevere.

[Tau]

I confess I feel like I'm living in an Eminem relationship song, without the whole getting my ass beat and or tied to a bed as the whole house burns down part.



I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight...

Are you ok chick?? :( I love that track and in theory am crazy about dysfunctional love affaires but after burying 3 friends who were murdered by boyfriends who didn't beat them, or tie them up or burn their houses down - just made them unhappy and scared and fought all the time - I just wanted to say here that I really hope you're playing safe. You're too awesome to get hurt over some dudes crazy drama. I don't know anything - and I'm not asking you to share any further - I just got a little scared reading your post and I want to make sure you're going to be ok? *huuuuugz*

[Tau]

Everything on my external hard drive is gone. Just gone. I don't know what happened. Some of the pictures and short stories I'd saved on there I don't have anywhere else - they are not things I can easily recreate again. They're gone forever. Feeling on the verge of hysteria. What a shit end to an amazing week.

[OneWickedAngel]

Everything on my external hard drive is gone. Just gone. I don't know what happened. Some of the pictures and short stories I'd saved on there I don't have anywhere else - they are not things I can easily recreate again. They're gone forever. Feeling on the verge of hysteria. What a shit end to an amazing week.

Oh Crap! Noooo! Do you have any techy friends that you can take the drive to to look at? Sometimes they can get to (and hopefully) salvage the data even if they can't fix the drive itself. It's worth the cost of consultation if nothing else.

[luscious_lulu]

Everything on my external hard drive is gone. Just gone. I don't know what happened. Some of the pictures and short stories I'd saved on there I don't have anywhere else - they are not things I can easily recreate again. They're gone forever. Feeling on the verge of hysteria. What a shit end to an amazing week.

(((hugs))) I know how this feels. I lost eveyrthing about 2 years ago.

[*Ravenous*]

Props to you for doing what you can and working hard, Ravenous. It's so not easy - not for the single parent, not for the single kid. A tough situation all around. I grew up with a single mom too (starting when I was in about 7th grade). Do you have other family members who can support you and give you breaks from time to time? or any other kind of community like friends, or church, or anything who are able to help? I definitely agree with that sentiment that it takes a village to raise a child. Sorry you're struggling right now, and I hope you're able to find some others to help.

well theres just my mom and my younger brother and I have mainly my mom but sometimes I dont even ask really just cause of the relationship her and I have its a little tension between each other

[BBW4Chattery]

Everything on my external hard drive is gone. Just gone. I don't know what happened. Some of the pictures and short stories I'd saved on there I don't have anywhere else - they are not things I can easily recreate again. They're gone forever. Feeling on the verge of hysteria. What a shit end to an amazing week.

Sending hugs. This has happened to me on FIVE separate occasions. I have no photos from 2003-2007 because of the failures. I lost my 60 page thesis a week before it was due. Thousands of dollars in music purchases. Ugh.

Sending biggest hugs and best wishes. I know how badly it sucks.

[Lovelyone]

I confess that I watched The Notebook today for the umpteenth time again and cried. Don't know why I cry. I've seen the thing a million times, know the lines by heart and know what's coming...but I cry, just the same.

[littlefairywren]

Everything on my external hard drive is gone. Just gone. I don't know what happened. Some of the pictures and short stories I'd saved on there I don't have anywhere else - they are not things I can easily recreate again. They're gone forever. Feeling on the verge of hysteria. What a shit end to an amazing week.

I really hope someone can retrieve your info, Tau. I lost a lot of my stuff over 3 years ago (music, graphics, study work), and had to start from scratch again. Now I have more than one external hd, and I also use thumb drives as an extra precaution. Hugs, hon!

[BBW4Chattery]

I confess that I watched The Notebook today for the umpteenth time again and cried. Don't know why I cry. I've seen the thing a million times, know the lines by heart and know what's coming...but I cry, just the same.

I confess that I've never seen The Notebook... and probably won't ever see it... because I don't want to cry. :)

Hope you are feeling better by now.

[calauria]

I C that I've never watched The Notebook, either. I really don't like romance movies. They are so cheesy and so not the reality for a majority of people. I kinda think they make us believe in things that don't exist or am I just being pessimistic?

[AnnMarie]

I kinda think they make us believe in things that don't exist or am I just being pessimistic?

Like horror movies, like action adventure, like Finding Nemo, etc. It's an emotional journey, an entertaining diversion, and all in all I think it's healthy for the soul to experience different emotions of laughter, longing, desire, arousal, adrenaline, sadness, fear. The chemicals from those are things that feed our body chemistry. Plus, likelihood aside, I don't think it's a bad thing to believe in storybook romance, whatever your definition may be. It happens, maybe just not with the horseback riding into the sunset. :).

[Blackjack]

It happens, maybe just not with the horseback riding into the sunset. :).

I'd just like to point out here that anything's possible when your man smells like Old Spice.

http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o207/MurphmanFA/91a7accd.jpg

I'm on a horse.

[luscious_lulu]

I'd just like to point out here that anything's possible when your man smells like Old Spice.

http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o207/MurphmanFA/91a7accd.jpg

I'm on a horse.

LMAO!

.
....

[spiritangel]

I am hating being at my cousins had the kids in line and being quiet and good and my cousin and her guy come home and push them so they start omg when parents are out of controll kids will be der not to mention omg sooo many things and the expectation of me staying for three months if other things happen sooo not happy atm wish I would learn to not be so supportive :-(

[littlefairywren]

I am hating being at my cousins had the kids in line and being quiet and good and my cousin and her guy come home and push them so they start omg when parents are out of controll kids will be der not to mention omg sooo many things and the expectation of me staying for three months if other things happen sooo not happy atm wish I would learn to not be so supportive :-(

Hon, if you don't feel like you are up to it, then you have to tell them somehow. It is not right if they are expecting you to just be there. You have your own life and obligations. You're already going stir crazy, so could you really handle it for three months?
Hugs to you!

[CarlaSixx]

I'd just like to point out here that anything's possible when your man smells like Old Spice.

http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o207/MurphmanFA/91a7accd.jpg

I'm on a horse.

LOL!

The funniest part about this, to me, is the fact that I use Old Spice body wash for myself. Lol. And, well, I've never been told that I smell like a man, even though I use men's products.

And IC I've never watched The Notebook, either. I just hate romance stuff. The cheesiness makes me queezy. Give me an action or a drama or a comedy anyday. Chick flicks are not to be played when I'm around :p

[Tau]

Thanks for all the love ladies. The drive is totally dead - they can't save anything. IT dude says its a virus I picked up from lord knows where - it wiped the entire thing clean. Sigh. Anyway, lesson learnt. Really appreciate all the advice and good thoughts that came my way.

[HappyFA75]

Thank you ladies for all the awesome advise and support. This is why I love you all so much and am not ashamed to share what's in my heart of hearts.:wubu:

And what would that be? ? ?

[luscious_lulu]

IC that I'm way to excited about the fact my kitten has used her litterbox

[nettie]

IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.

Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago. :rolleyes:

[calauria]

IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.

Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago. :rolleyes:

Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Glad you had an awesome one!! *hugs*

[BBW4Chattery]

IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.

Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago. :rolleyes:

HAPPPPPPPY Birthday!

I'm glad you've had a wonderful birthday despite the challenges of the last year. Hopefully it's a sign of more great things to come your way!

[calauria]

I C that I need a good (you know what) to put me to sleep.

[littlefairywren]

IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.

Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago. :rolleyes:

Woo hoo! Happy Birthday to you, nettie :)
Life has a way of pulling the rug from under our feet, but hopefully, sooner or later we land the right way up. Here's to happy landings!

[spiritangel]

Happy Birthday Nettie

LFW I havent told them but there is no way I will be here for 3 months I already have my escape plan in motion, but I did promise two weeks wich may end up 3-4 and that will def be my max, its ok when theyare not here and its just me and the kids totally different dynamic and am sure my cousin will be more attentive when the bf isnt around again bloody long story here atm I have been resting loads and taking time out today

of course walking into the loungroom while they were doing it still makes me want to take lazers to myeyes

I mean who keeps going ffs and yeeeeewwwwwwwww
other than that and being hungry lots I am doing ok today oh and the sore hip

I have no intention of giving up 3 months of my life at all

[littlefairywren]

Happy Birthday Nettie

LFW I havent told them but there is no way I will be here for 3 months I already have my escape plan in motion, but I did promise two weeks wich may end up 3-4 and that will def be my max, its ok when theyare not here and its just me and the kids totally different dynamic and am sure my cousin will be more attentive when the bf isnt around again bloody long story here atm I have been resting loads and taking time out today

of course walking into the loungroom while they were doing it still makes me want to take lazers to myeyes

I mean who keeps going ffs and yeeeeewwwwwwwww
other than that and being hungry lots I am doing ok today oh and the sore hip

I have no intention of giving up 3 months of my life at all

Oh hell no! I would be sooo tempted to hose them off, especially if they kept at it. Sure it is their place, but if you have a guest...take it to the bedroom lol. Not the guest, the action lol :D

[MizzSnakeBite]

IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.

Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago. :rolleyes:

Happy belated birthday!! I'm so glad you had a good one, and I hope this year's better than the last :).

Happy Birthday Nettie

LFW I havent told them but there is no way I will be here for 3 months I already have my escape plan in motion, but I did promise two weeks wich may end up 3-4 and that will def be my max, its ok when theyare not here and its just me and the kids totally different dynamic and am sure my cousin will be more attentive when the bf isnt around again bloody long story here atm I have been resting loads and taking time out today

of course walking into the loungroom while they were doing it still makes me want to take lazers to myeyes

I mean who keeps going ffs and yeeeeewwwwwwwww
other than that and being hungry lots I am doing ok today oh and the sore hip

I have no intention of giving up 3 months of my life at all

Good for you!

I hope things calm down, and you don't have to laser your eyes! That would make making bears difficult. :p

[luscious_lulu]

IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.

Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago. :rolleyes:

(((hugs)))

Happy birthday

[spiritangel]

Oh hell no! I would be sooo tempted to hose them off, especially if they kept at it. Sure it is their place, but if you have a guest...take it to the bedroom lol. Not the guest, the action lol :D



well I am in their room atm and they are in the loungeroom lol but seriously could have waited the half hr it took for me to shower ect told them I would be back out to get breakfast seriously so I went and made brekky meh they ended up "going for a shower" even worse they are trying to push me together with one of rays mates yeah cause ray (ambers bf) is my dream guy NOT in this or any other lifetime lol, this guy is staying here next week too so I think other than looking after the kids I will be hiding in ambers room for the whole week

[OneWickedAngel]

IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.

Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago. :rolleyes:

Happy belated birthday Nettie! Sounds like you had a blast as it damn well should be! LOL @ the AARP.

[spiritangel]

IC I think I need to feel less upset/rejected/offended when people dont say hello back on things like fb chat and the like had so many people do this lately and it never feels good always leaves me wondering what I did wrong??

[Tau]

IC I think I need to feel less upset/rejected/offended when people dont say hello back on things like fb chat and the like had so many people do this lately and it never feels good always leaves me wondering what I did wrong??

Hey there don't take it personally. I know my FB chat is stuffed so sometimes i get messages an hour after the person has gone or else I'll be IMing and the messages aren't going anywhere. Its just admin.

[CarlaSixx]

IC I think I need to feel less upset/rejected/offended when people dont say hello back on things like fb chat and the like had so many people do this lately and it never feels good always leaves me wondering what I did wrong??

Hope I'm not part of that. I did get a msg from you but couldn't reply from my phone so I just did what you suggested in the email, lol. Hope you got it alright.

[luscious_lulu]

IC I think I need to feel less upset/rejected/offended when people dont say hello back on things like fb chat and the like had so many people do this lately and it never feels good always leaves me wondering what I did wrong??

I have mine turned off so I don't get any messages. Maybe others do the same?

[CarlaSixx]

Glad you had a great birthday, Nettie! Hope it means this year will beat last ;) Enjoy it!

---

IC I'm really happy for my friend to have come to find a new partner that is more like the man he dreamed of marrying than any other person he's dated. He met up with the guy at 6 last night and didn't get back home until 6am this morning. This was their 3rd date and they haven't gotten bizzy yet. They spent the time talking mainly, and that's pretty damn amazing! So I'm hoping all goes well for him.

Except there's the fact that they, and other friends, want me to go with them to their favourite bar. And while I do have fun when I go, it's a gay bar and so I still feel kinda left out. No one hits on me, and my friends leave me all alone a few times a night for at least 10 minutes at a time. It really bothers me. And when I ask them to go to places that I feel more comfortable in, they never do. It's rare to find a place I like, and I never get to go. :(

[calauria]

Glad you had a great birthday, Nettie! Hope it means this year will beat last ;) Enjoy it!

---

IC I'm really happy for my friend to have come to find a new partner that is more like the man he dreamed of marrying than any other person he's dated. He met up with the guy at 6 last night and didn't get back home until 6am this morning. This was their 3rd date and they haven't gotten bizzy yet. They spent the time talking mainly, and that's pretty damn amazing! So I'm hoping all goes well for him.

Except there's the fact that they, and other friends, want me to go with them to their favourite bar. And while I do have fun when I go, it's a gay bar and so I still feel kinda left out. No one hits on me, and my friends leave me all alone a few times a night for at least 10 minutes at a time. It really bothers me. And when I ask them to go to places that I feel more comfortable in, they never do. It's rare to find a place I like, and I never get to go. :(

You need to come to South Florida. You would have a blast!!

[aocutiepi]

IC that I turned 50 today. A year ago I was married and thought I had my life on track, but then things changed and I was looking at spending this birthday alone and 600 miles away from my family. It turns out I have some pretty amazing friends. Because of them, this has been one of the best birthdays ever. Two surprise parties and a night of margaritas later, and the big 5-0 hasn't been so bad.

Except for those damned AARP ads that started showing up a few months ago. :rolleyes:

Happy birthday! I'm glad you've had a great one. Friends can get you through just about anything so I'm glad you have good ones!

IC I think I need to feel less upset/rejected/offended when people dont say hello back on things like fb chat and the like had so many people do this lately and it never feels good always leaves me wondering what I did wrong??

My old computer used to completely lock up anytime someone sent me a Facebook IM. I would always get them when I signed on again, and usually tried to send apology messages/wall posts. It was so annoying I just put it on stealth so I never showed up as online. Newer, better PC and no issues. Perhaps I'm not the only person who has this problem. Although, IC I hate it when I post on someone's wall and they never respond... it makes me wonder if I accidentally did something to piss them off!

[CastingPearls]

IC I think I need to feel less upset/rejected/offended when people dont say hello back on things like fb chat and the like had so many people do this lately and it never feels good always leaves me wondering what I did wrong??
Mine is turned off or Spouse is using it for something and a week later says, 'Oh, by the way someone named Amanda says HUGS. Who's Amanda?' LOL

[Punkin1024]

I get so many wall posts on FB, that any "real" messsages (as opposed to game app messages) get lost a lot. I've recently taken to reading my e-mail or clicking on the app updates to see if anyone posts to my status. I'm starting to send message to my friends if I really want to know how they're doing. So, don't take it as slight if someone doesn't respond to a wall post.

My confession - I'm really down because I won't be able to make the Dallas Meet-up. Our water pump died today and it'll cost $400 to replace, so no extra funds. Sigh! I had so looked forward to this and I needed this too. Just too much junk happening lately. I really, really need a vacation.

[nettie]

Thanks for the birthday wishes, everyone.

I guess I should add that IC I arrived at one of my surprise parties 30 minutes late!!! I thought we were just having a casual meeting with a few friends and then got caught in a line at Target. Turns out lots of people were waiting in a garage, slowly melting from the heat and humidity. Oops. :blush:

[calauria]

I get so many wall posts on FB, that any "real" messsages (as opposed to game app messages) get lost a lot. I've recently taken to reading my e-mail or clicking on the app updates to see if anyone posts to my status. I'm starting to send message to my friends if I really want to know how they're doing. So, don't take it as slight if someone doesn't respond to a wall post.

My confession - I'm really down because I won't be able to make the Dallas Meet-up. Our water pump died today and it'll cost $400 to replace, so no extra funds. Sigh! I had so looked forward to this and I needed this too. Just too much junk happening lately. I really, really need a vacation.

*hugs*... sorry that so much crap is going on at the same time.

[LovelyLiz]

Thanks for the birthday wishes, everyone.

I guess I should add that IC I arrived at one of my surprise parties 30 minutes late!!! I thought we were just having a casual meeting with a few friends and then got caught in a line at Target. Turns out lots of people were waiting in a garage, slowly melting from the heat and humidity. Oops. :blush:

Well, from the posts I've read of yours, you seem awesome - so I'm sure your friends love you tremendously and were fine with the wait. :) Glad you had a great birthday, and I hope this is your best decade yet!!!

[BBW4Chattery]

IC I think I need to feel less upset/rejected/offended when people dont say hello back on things like fb chat and the like had so many people do this lately and it never feels good always leaves me wondering what I did wrong??

Some people are selfish and just don't like chat. That's my deal. I will actively avoid responding to people sometimes not because of them but because I just don't feel like chatting.

You probably did nothing wrong... they just aren't up for the chat OR their technology isn't keeping up and they never get the message. That's happened with me too.

I hope you feel better soon. Feeling that way sucks. :(

I confess I'm ready to give up my BlackBerry, my email, my Facebook, and return to a schedule where work is work, home is home, friends are friends, and most importantly, me time is me time. I spent about 45 minutes tonight deleting 6 years worth of apps on facebook, hiding everyone else's app updates, etc. I feel less cluttered already.

[spiritangel]

hugs thanks peoples

today was truly the day from hell dont know why I bother to help people sometimes got yelled at in the street, accused to trying to help docs take my cousins kids (dept of community services for the americans) and left for dead in a town where I dont know my way around or anybody, thank god I know the scrap lady and scrap shop, my mobile battery was almost dead had enough to call my mum and get my uncles number and enough money to get to his house

no appology nothing just a you have no idea what is going on cause I asked a billion questions about what they want from her to stop her loosing the kids they got the kids maccas and I diddnt even get anything sigh just so over this nightmare and I am babysitting tonight taken advantage of much

My angel of a mother has given me some money so I can get home but I promised the kids another week wtf am I sposed to do the kids always get promises broken to them sigh

am exhausted keep bawling like a baby and hate myself for caring so much about these kids

t

[MizzSnakeBite]

hugs thanks peoples

today was truly the day from hell dont know why I bother to help people sometimes got yelled at in the street, accused to trying to help docs take my cousins kids (dept of community services for the americans) and left for dead in a town where I dont know my way around or anybody, thank god I know the scrap lady and scrap shop, my mobile battery was almost dead had enough to call my mum and get my uncles number and enough money to get to his house

no appology nothing just a you have no idea what is going on cause I asked a billion questions about what they want from her to stop her loosing the kids they got the kids maccas and I diddnt even get anything sigh just so over this nightmare and I am babysitting tonight taken advantage of much

My angel of a mother has given me some money so I can get home but I promised the kids another week wtf am I sposed to do the kids always get promises broken to them sigh

am exhausted keep bawling like a baby and hate myself for caring so much about these kids

t

Gigantic ((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

[littlefairywren]

hugs thanks peoples

today was truly the day from hell dont know why I bother to help people sometimes got yelled at in the street, accused to trying to help docs take my cousins kids (dept of community services for the americans) and left for dead in a town where I dont know my way around or anybody, thank god I know the scrap lady and scrap shop, my mobile battery was almost dead had enough to call my mum and get my uncles number and enough money to get to his house

no appology nothing just a you have no idea what is going on cause I asked a billion questions about what they want from her to stop her loosing the kids they got the kids maccas and I diddnt even get anything sigh just so over this nightmare and I am babysitting tonight taken advantage of much

My angel of a mother has given me some money so I can get home but I promised the kids another week wtf am I sposed to do the kids always get promises broken to them sigh

am exhausted keep bawling like a baby and hate myself for caring so much about these kids

t

Wow, that does sound like the day from hell. I am so sorry you are having such a rough time, SA. Lots of ((((hugs)))) for you and the kids.

[Inhibited]

hugs thanks peoples

today was truly the day from hell dont know why I bother to help people sometimes got yelled at in the street, accused to trying to help docs take my cousins kids (dept of community services for the americans) and left for dead in a town where I dont know my way around or anybody, thank god I know the scrap lady and scrap shop, my mobile battery was almost dead had enough to call my mum and get my uncles number and enough money to get to his house

no appology nothing just a you have no idea what is going on cause I asked a billion questions about what they want from her to stop her loosing the kids they got the kids maccas and I diddnt even get anything sigh just so over this nightmare and I am babysitting tonight taken advantage of much

My angel of a mother has given me some money so I can get home but I promised the kids another week wtf am I sposed to do the kids always get promises broken to them sigh

am exhausted keep bawling like a baby and hate myself for caring so much about these kids

t

Am sorry you are going through a bad time as well.. hope things get more positive ...

[spiritangel]

hugs thanks everyone it gets better oh why oh why diddnt I listen to mum and just stay home?

she got a warrent for her arrest and accused me of giving the cops her phone number wtf yeah cause I would drop everything to come help her with the kids (who dont deserve to be punished for this f...ed situation) and call the cops for matters I do not fully understand? considering she is out tonight and till trow and all I know is she is newcastle way how the and what the???? yeah thats trust for you trust me with your kids but not when it comes to calling the cops what the hell have I gotten myself into thats it Miss Nice Amanda is about to go running for the freaking hills sick of being accused of stuff sigh gah stoopid promise to the kids about staying here cant let them down but about to go look at trains out of this crazy place

[luscious_lulu]

(((hugs)))

the poor kids don't deserve to be on that situation. Neither do you. Maybe it would be best if she lost custody of them.

[spiritangel]

she truly loves her kids, she has just never had anyone to learn how to be a mother from and had a pretty f...ed up teenagehood and late childhood what docs want to do is help her bridge the gap and find ways as a family they can actually get along better and have a healthier relationship and that is what I would wish for them to

[calauria]

hugs thanks peoples

today was truly the day from hell dont know why I bother to help people sometimes got yelled at in the street, accused to trying to help docs take my cousins kids (dept of community services for the americans) and left for dead in a town where I dont know my way around or anybody, thank god I know the scrap lady and scrap shop, my mobile battery was almost dead had enough to call my mum and get my uncles number and enough money to get to his house

no appology nothing just a you have no idea what is going on cause I asked a billion questions about what they want from her to stop her loosing the kids they got the kids maccas and I diddnt even get anything sigh just so over this nightmare and I am babysitting tonight taken advantage of much

My angel of a mother has given me some money so I can get home but I promised the kids another week wtf am I sposed to do the kids always get promises broken to them sigh

am exhausted keep bawling like a baby and hate myself for caring so much about these kids

t

*hugs* I can definitely emphasize with caring so much about the kids when the idiot parents don't "act right", but not able to do much to help. Unfortunately, my nieces and nephews grew up to be just as shelfish and self centered as their parents. As teenagers, they have broken into my apt., stolen from me, cursed me out and talk shit about me behind my back. I'm done with them. So sorry, you have to go through the mess, but at least you tried. We can all try.....