Some People Here Have a Lot of Growing Up To Do

[Wayne_Zitkus]

I just read through the "naughty bits" thread on the Weight Board and the "Damn Humans" thread on this board. And for the life of me, I cannot see why people are giving Sandie so much grief.

Any man who feels that his manhood is threatened by that thread has issues that are far, far deeper than can be dealt with on this board. And some of the guys that were acting "offended" by the "naughty bits" thread were actually posting some of the raunchier messages there. And no one who posted any of the raunchier messages are being called to task - even the one individual who talked about masturbating in the morning. Yet another double standard......

This site is supposed to be about "Size Acceptance". But how in Hell do you people expect the outside world to accept us if we can't even accept ourselves????

We're all adults here. A few people here should start acting like it.

[Mini]

They're just mad because they're hung like peanuts and are therefore irrelevant sub-men. :)

[herin]

giggle *snort* <sprays coke through nose and onto keyboard> Damnit Mini, you owe me a new keyboard! :p

[Vince]

Hey, Wayne, tell Sandie now she knows what some of us feel like when we post stuff on line. We never know how others are going to interpret what we post or if anyone is going to be offended.

I was being facetious in the 'damn humans' thread re Sandie. Was it obvious? Well, to me it was. Did Sandie think so? There you are. I was trying to make the point that innocent remarks can be taken the wrong way entirely.

She is just getting what she deserves. No more and no less. Same goes for me and everyone else who dares post on public discussion boards.

I love it when the husbands show up to defend their wounded wives! Reminds me of when Glen had to rescue Mindy who needed an occasional vacation. Heck, it is Easter weekend. Get out and do something instead of hanging around the internet.

[Miss Vickie]

I don't think that calmly expressing one's outrage or hurt by a comment or thread is being childish. In fact, I think it's being very mature. And it seems that Sandie realized she made a faux pas, too, which is why she apologized. Which I think is, again, the act of a very mature person. :)

Edited to add: You're right, though. Some people do have lots of growing up to do. Sadly, those who do will never see it in themselves. And there's the rub.

[Sandie_Zitkus]

I don't think that calmly expressing one's outrage or hurt by a comment or thread is being childish. In fact, I think it's being very mature. And it seems that Sandie realized she made a faux pas, too, which is why she apologized. Which I think is, again, the act of a very mature person. :)

Edited to add: You're right, though. Some people do have lots of growing up to do. Sadly, those who do will never see it in themselves. And there's the rub.

No Vickie I said I was sorry if anyone got upset - while I still don't understand all the crap about a joke post. I'm not going to apologize for something that I don't feel was wrong. Nothing I said in that thread or any other (like the having 3 cans post where I got reamed out for "bragging") is even remotely as disgusting as what other people posted. But you know *here we go again*

Please don't take shots at my husband - nothing was directed at you.

[Miss Vickie]

No Vickie I said I was sorry if anyone got upset - while I still don't understand all the crap about a joke post. I'm not going to apologize for something that I don't feel was wrong.

I know. That's what I said. (???) That you apologized for upsetting anyone (the subtext being however inadvertantly). I was giving you a, oh gosh, what's it called... oh yeah... COMPLIMENT. I thought it was very gracious of you to apologize, particularly when you didn't mean to upset anyone and really the problem was that people took what you said the wrong way.

So how have I misrepresented what you said or meant?

Nothing I said in that thread or any other (like the having 3 cans post where I got reamed out for "bragging") is even remotely as disgusting as what other people posted. But you know *here we go again*

I know what you mean, and (now) I understand where you were going (or where I think you were going) with your thread. At the time, I thought you were starting a thread of a sexual nature, and I found it a little hurtful to the guys here (just as I find some of the threads about having sex with fat chicks or weight limits hurtful). But once your position was clarified, then it made perfect sense. I know you didn't mean to say negative things about penis size (even though apparently more than a few people took you literally, judging by the responses you got), but rather to point out how hurtful such threads are. Sadly, as I said before, the internet doesn't lend itself well to irony and/or sarcasm. :)

Please don't take shots at my husband - nothing was directed at you.

Your husband is perfectly capable of standing up for himself, just as you are. I wonder what shots you thought I was taking, though. Would you mind clarifying, because I'm very confused. I was just answering what it was he said -- that people were overreacting or being childish for getting upset about the thread. And I said -- and I stand by what I said -- that expressing one's self in a mature, calm way is anything BUT childish, and in fact, very grown up. I wish we had more of that here, don't you?

So again I ask, how is that a shot at Wayne?

[Egbert Souse]

And no one who posted any of the raunchier messages are being called to task - even the one individual who talked about masturbating in the morning. Yet another double standard......

Point taken.

I'll consider myself taken to task for masturbating in the morning.
(if it's any consolation, i think about Real Life Stuff when i Do It and it's not like i'm looking on the Paysite Board or nothing....)

(and i don't do it every morning).
(necessarily)

I hope i can reserve the right to think about this for a couple days decide if i should apologize and join some kinda program.

I'm tempted to start one of those polls.........

[Sandie_Zitkus]

I'm not gonna have this discussion again with you Vickie. I was not and am not being argumentative with you. But I will stick up for my husband. That's just the way it is.

I'm too tired and too pissed off right now to talk about any of this anymore. I think we lack the ability to communicate effectively. And your sarcasm is giving me a headache.

Happy easter.

I know. That's what I said. (???) That you apologized for upsetting anyone (the subtext being however inadvertantly). I was giving you a, oh gosh, what's it called... oh yeah... COMPLIMENT. I thought it was very gracious of you to apologize, particularly when you didn't mean to upset anyone and really the problem was that people took what you said the wrong way.

So how have I misrepresented what you said or meant?



I know what you mean, and (now) I understand where you were going (or where I think you were going) with your thread. At the time, I thought you were starting a thread of a sexual nature, and I found it a little hurtful to the guys here (just as I find some of the threads about having sex with fat chicks or weight limits hurtful). But once your position was clarified, then it made perfect sense. I know you didn't mean to say negative things about penis size (even though apparently more than a few people took you literally, judging by the responses you got), but rather to point out how hurtful such threads are. Sadly, as I said before, the internet doesn't lend itself well to irony and/or sarcasm. :)



Your husband is perfectly capable of standing up for himself, just as you are. I wonder what shots you thought I was taking, though. Would you mind clarifying, because I'm very confused. I was just answering what it was he said -- that people were overreacting or being childish for getting upset about the thread. And I said -- and I stand by what I said -- that expressing one's self in a mature, calm way is anything BUT childish, and in fact, very grown up. I wish we had more of that here, don't you?

So again I ask, how is that a shot at Wayne?

[GWARrior]

(and i don't do it every morning).
(necessarily)



i do!


i kid.

[Boteroesque Babe]

http://hometown.aol.com/boteroesquebabe/Splodin.jpg

[SoVerySoft]

...(and i don't do it every morning).

Same here. Some weekend days I don't wake up till past noon.

;)

[RedHead]

http://hometown.aol.com/boteroesquebabe/Splodin.jpg
yah, what she said!

[Egbert Souse]

Ok, i'll go to bed now.

And, HONEST...
i won't do anything.
I'll just read my Gordon Jenkins biorgraphy and then go to sleep.

No, REALLY.

[GWARrior]

I'm not gonna have this discussion again with you Vickie. I was not and am not being argumentative with you. But I will stick up for my husband. That's just the way it is.

I'm too tired and too pissed off right now to talk about any of this anymore. I think we lack the ability to communicate effectively. And your sarcasm is giving me a headache.

Happy easter.


Did you like.. read anything she posted?
:(

[Sandie S-R]

Heck, it is Easter weekend. Get out and do something instead of hanging around the internet.

Vince - I suggest you take your own advice, and give it a rest for a while. You've been asked to back down...

[Sandie S-R]

http://hometown.aol.com/boteroesquebabe/Splodin.jpg



BB...

Do you know how sexy you are when you get mad?!


Smoochies!!

[CurvyEm]

I like Sandie. Her thread was just a joke responce due to the 'what's it like to have sex with huge women' thread. It's a normal thing to do a joke thread about another one here.
If we big women are being compared and talked about 'in the bedroom' sense, it's only fair that we're allowed to do the same thing.

Everyone here just needs to take a step back. Its a message board. On the internet. Everyone here has different opinions, if you can't deal with it without getting offended go away! lol

"OMGZZZZ SUM1Z OFFENDEDEDED ME ON TEH INTRANETSSSS, OH NOES!!!!ONE!!11!!!!1!!!"

[ataraxia]

"OMGZZZZ SUM1Z OFFENDEDEDED ME ON TEH INTRANETSSSS, OH NOES!!!!ONE!!11!!!!1!!!"
:D
If you want to describe the rest of life anyway, just leave "ON TEH INTRANETSSSS" out... At least, that's life in the US.

[Angel]

BoBabe,

Multiple choice:

A.) Singing along at the top of my lungs. I just love Steven Tyler!

B.) Doing an audition for the fake orgasm scene in "When Harry met Sally."

C.) I'm lost in the moment. I *never* fake it. This is is is th th the reallllllllllll omg .......yesssssssSSSSSSS.........thing!

D.) "I can't take it anymore! Will you people just grow up and quit your bitchin'!!!"

E.) All of the above. I'm multi-talented!

F.) None of the above. ;)

[Miss Vickie]

I'm not gonna have this discussion again with you Vickie. I was not and am not being argumentative with you. But I will stick up for my husband. That's just the way it is.

I'm too tired and too pissed off right now to talk about any of this anymore. I think we lack the ability to communicate effectively. And your sarcasm is giving me a headache.

Happy easter.

Whatever makes you happy, Sandie. But thanks for answering my question. (That was sarcasm. The other stuff? Not so much). But believe me, if I wanted to slam Wayne, he's given me plenty of ammunition and I'm enough of a straight shooter that there'd be no question as to what my intention was.

The fact that you see insults where none were intended is interesting, though.

[Miss Vickie]

http://hometown.aol.com/boteroesquebabe/Splodin.jpg

Can I borrow your hair? Please???? I mean, if you're pulling it out anyway. Just send it to me, 'k? It's purdy...

[Jane]

I'm tempted to start one of those polls.........
Isn't that "poles?"

[ValentineBBW]

http://hometown.aol.com/boteroesquebabe/Splodin.jpg


YES!!! Exactly how I feel. I realize I don't post very much on a regular basis and even less often in the past month (because I've been busy with RL stuff) but I have been checking in and reading posts as much as I can. (sign of addiction perhaps) But all of the CRAP that has gone on the past few weeks has gone way past out of hand, and I feel the need to put in my 2 cents.

Can we either close or delete all of the offending threads? It seems like the only way to end the cycle is to get rid of the threads. Otherwise we either have A) new people coming to the boards and adding their thoughts, which constantly brings the threads to the top of the page, B) new people reading and getting turned off by the ugliness or C) regulars not letting it go.

I usually keep my thoughts on negative issues to myself, not wanting to stir the pot even further or upset the apple cart, but it's becoming no longer fun to visit. And yes I know I can choose to not read the offending threads, but new threads are started that re-hash the mess and before you know it you're smack dab in the middle of the CRAP again.

Ok end of rant.

[ataraxia]

YES!!! Exactly how I feel. I realize I don't post very much on a regular basis and even less often in the past month (because I've been busy with RL stuff) but I have been checking in and reading posts as much as I can. (sign of addiction perhaps) But all of the CRAP that has gone on the past few weeks has gone way past out of hand, and I feel the need to put in my 2 cents.

Can we either close or delete all of the offending threads? It seems like the only way to end the cycle is to get rid of the threads. Otherwise we either have A) new people coming to the boards and adding their thoughts, which constantly brings the threads to the top of the page, B) new people reading and getting turned off by the ugliness or C) regulars not letting it go.

I usually keep my thoughts on negative issues to myself, not wanting to stir the pot even further or upset the apple cart, but it's becoming no longer fun to visit. And yes I know I can choose to not read the offending threads, but new threads are started that re-hash the mess and before you know it you're smack dab in the middle of the CRAP again.

Ok end of rant.
AGREE!!!

I keep thinking this myself. We have mods here, let's get rid of all this nonsense. I believe that while it's essential to allow complaints about board rules and such, complaining in public about other posters should be prohibited.

Can we have a rule change, so that people can't do this, and telling them to use PMs or the Ignore List if they have a beef?

[GWARrior]

Isn't that "poles?"


Nope. There's polls and poles.

[Boteroesque Babe]

AGREE!!!

I keep thinking this myself. We have mods here, let's get rid of all this nonsense. I believe that while it's essential to allow complaints about board rules and such, complaining in public about other posters should be prohibited.

Can we have a rule change, so that people can't do this, and telling them to use PMs or the Ignore List if they have a beef?
While I appreciate your suggestions, Val and Ataraxia, I'm inclined to let things work themselves out. Another moderator may come behind me and scorch the earth, but I would consider that counterproductive and unnecessary, so I won't.

Locked threads can too easily stoke the fires and lead to even more such threads popping up (as we've already seen here). I see plenty that bunches my panties, but nothing that violates board rules, and the only Main Board post that's been reported has been deleted. Letting the threads die in dreary, lumbering style, where the offenders end up talking to themselves? That's the most effective way to go, in my book.

And asking people not to complain about other people? The stuff of dreams. Literally. I also wish I had a magic wand that, when I shake it at someone, they're forced to take a day off from the board and go outdoors. It's Spring, you know. Stuff's, like, blooming. Cherry blossoms are in flagrant raging flower. The sun is out. Folks is dressed in funny hats.

Outdoors.

[Jane]

I'm going to brunch. Not much outside, we tend to run other people off, instead.

Have a great one BB. I have roses, iris, snapdragons, asters, and petunias blooming all over the place. Also bought a pot of fuschia....we'll see how quickly I kill that.

Spring...and it's going to be 93 degrees today.

Wear white.

[Jes]

http://hometown.aol.com/boteroesquebabe/Splodin.jpg
BB, do you have a photo of yourself for every occasion? That is cracking me up! :) I assume that's an old shot (and you're not wearing a long sleeved sweater in April)?

[Sandie S-R]

While I appreciate your suggestions, Val and Ataraxia, I'm inclined to let things work themselves out. Another moderator may come behind me and scorch the earth, but I would consider that counterproductive and unnecessary, so I won't.

Locked threads can too easily stoke the fires and lead to even more such threads popping up (as we've already seen here). I see plenty that bunches my panties, but nothing that violates board rules, and the only Main Board post that's been reported has been deleted. Letting the threads die in dreary, lumbering style, where the offenders end up talking to themselves? That's the most effective way to go, in my book.

And asking people not to complain about other people? The stuff of dreams. Literally. I also wish I had a magic wand that, when I shake it at someone, they're forced to take a day off from the board and go outdoors. It's Spring, you know. Stuff's, like, blooming. Cherry blossoms are in flagrant raging flower. The sun is out. Folks is dressed in funny hats.

Outdoors.


As a fellow Mod, I agree with BB 100%. In realm of moderating, generally speaking, less is more. We are generally only going to step in when something becomes realllllllllllllly offensive or blatantly nasty/rude. And, then - we tend to warn before rapping knuckles, or deleteing posts. People are always going to make asses out of themselves - but it is better to just let them...and then watch them humbly apologize. (In a perfect world of course).

Everyone - it is Easter/Passover - so please, just remember the "Golden Rule". Treat people as you would like them to treat you.

And have a lovely holiday!!