Forum bullies

[Webmaster]

Saw this really good article on forum bullies (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/532829/online_forum_etiquette_how_to_deal.html?cat=9). Gotta watch out for them critters. If we have any, let me know.

[KHayes666]

Saw this really good article on forum bullies (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/532829/online_forum_etiquette_how_to_deal.html?cat=9). Gotta watch out for them critters. If we have any, let me know.

Here's a novel idea....BAN THEM.

Seriously, what's the point of having bullies in an ACCEPTANCE community? We all know who they are around here and we see the negative atmosphere they create...so why are they continually allowed to attack people and bring the mood down?

We do have a few, and I know who they are, but for the sake of peace I won't mention them in public...but def in a PM.

[Mini]

I hear that Mini guy is a bit of an asshole.

[KHayes666]

I hear that Mini guy is a bit of an asshole.

lol there's a difference in being an a-hole and being an out and out bully who's sole purpose is to lay waste to anyone with a different opinion/view/lifestyle/gender.

[Mini]

lol there's a difference in being an a-hole and being an out and out bully who's sole purpose is to lay waste to anyone with a different opinion/view/lifestyle/gender.

I banish thee from the inner circle, potential usurper.

[KHayes666]

I banish thee from the inner circle, potential usurper.

Well then go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person!

lol

[Matt L.]

KHayes666 is so correct. Disagreeing with someone is perfectly normal and can be conducted with class. However, there have been some people who go all out in ridiculing those that have an opposing opinion.

[Mini]

KHayes666 is so correct. Disagreeing with someone is perfectly normal and can be conducted with class. However, there have been some people who go all out in ridiculing those that have an opposing opinion.

Well, the problem with our society is that we're raised with the idea to respect other people's opinions even when they're stupid and or demonstrably incorrect. Civility is overrated, especially when it's fostering ignorance.

[loggamatt]

Well, the problem with our society is that we're raised with the idea to respect other people's opinions even when they're stupid and or demonstrably incorrect. Civility is overrated, especially when it's fostering ignorance.

So do you mind people being uncivil to you when you're being stupid or demonstrably incorrect? Or are you just never stupid or demonstrably incorrect? ;)

[Mini]

So do you mind people being uncivil to you when you're being stupid or demonstrably incorrect? Or are you just never stupid or demonstrably incorrect? ;)

Basically, if you're going to fuck me, fuck me. Don't bother buying me dinner first.

[Friday]

He's been both and been uhhh, chastised thoroughly for it but not for being male, tall, goodlooking, white, Canadian or whatever political way he happens to lean. It's his statements that are attacked.

It's one thing to attack a post and totally different to attack the poster. I can think of one prime example that is no longer with us who basically called anyone female (especially one older than his preferred dating pool) who didn't agree with his particular brand of fat acceptance jealous hags...when he was being polite, otherwise it was far worse. He was a bully. Now he's gone and probably still blaming it on us hags. Who really cares what people like that think? Honestly, I think in the long run in a community with as many outspoken people as we have a real bully (as opposed to someone who over reacted to something that happens to really push their buttons) isn't going to last. Eventually S/He will get tired of being told their arguments don't hold and flat out being ignored and take their sorry selves elsewhere.

I don't know that in my years here I've ever seen the community just stand back and watch a member get bullied without getting involved in the victim's defense. We've got a lot of do gooders around here. It's one of the things I like about the place.

[Mini]

He's been both and been uhhh, chastised thoroughly for it but not for being male, tall, goodlooking, white, Canadian or whatever political way he happens to lean. It's his statements that are attacked.

It's one thing to attack a post and totally different to attack the poster. I can think of one prime example that is no longer with us who basically called anyone female (especially one older than his preferred dating pool) who didn't agree with his particular brand of fat acceptance jealous hags...when he was being polite, otherwise it was far worse. He was a bully. Now he's gone and probably still blaming it on us hags. Who really cares what people like that think? Honestly, I think in the long run in a community with as many outspoken people as we have a real bully (as opposed to someone who over reacted to something that happens to really push their buttons) isn't going to last. Eventually S/He will get tired of being told their arguments don't hold and flat out being ignored and take their sorry selves elsewhere.

I don't know that in my years here I've ever seen the community just stand back and watch a member get bullied without getting involved in the victim's defense. We've got a lot of do gooders around here. It's one of the things I like about the place.

Pretty much this. (And I do believe I know who you're talking aboot. Good fuckin' riddance.)

I honestly don't think we have any real problem posters, with a very few exceptions. Idiots tend to get bounced pretty early on, and when they don't they either smarten up or move on.

[Shosh]

Very germaine topic. As for forum bullies, they are not the sort of people that I would associate with in my everyday life. They would not even register on my radar.
They are beneath contempt, and not worth it.

[butch]

Sad but true: one person's asshole is another person's bully. Try and find someone we all can agree is a forum bully and needs to go, and I'll give you a crisp $100 bill.

[Tooz]

Saw this really good article on forum bullies (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/532829/online_forum_etiquette_how_to_deal.html?cat=9). Gotta watch out for them critters. If we have any, let me know.

I can think of one or two...;)

[BarbBBW]

we def have this going on here!

[imfree]

Nice article, Chief. I'm sure there are some real
forum bullies in Dimmer darkness who'll never be
found out.

[Ernest Nagel]

Good article, generally speaking. A typo like "dispel" when the author means "expel" a member grates on my nerves but his points are mostly valid. I'd add a couple of my own, just for grins and giggles:


Bullies recognize on some level who they are, even if they deny it uncategorically when called out. They've been the subject of bullying themselves and know exactly the feelings they want to engender in others. Humiliation is job one.


Enablers, otoh, don't necessarily want to see someone embarrassed or hurt as much as they like feeling a resonance with someone powerful and assertive.


A truly accomplished bully relies primarily on scorn and disdain. Mockery and sarcasm are their favored tools. Not only do they emphasize their contempt for the target; a terse, flippant snark indicates the recipient is truly beneath contempt. Addressing the victims argument conveys at least marginal respect.


And of course if the subject of the bullying takes the bully to task for an ad hominem or simply baseless attack the bully must point out that he is entitled to disagree and who are you to demand his silence? Feigned innocence and righteous indignation are the bullies favorite defensive strategies on the rare occasions they're needed.


So yeah, there will always be bullies as long as there are insecure, damaged people who take pleasure from dominating and disempowering others. From my participation on other sites I'd infer that Dims is no more infested than other forums where a higher percentage of participants has been marginalized or bullied more than the mainstream.

There are a very few here I would consider raging bullies who used to really bother me. As I've observed the pathos and loneliness in their posts I've come to feel a genuine compassion for them. When it's all said and done I think most bullies are their own worst victims. The wounds that hurt us the longest are often those we've inflicted on others.

JMO. :bow:

[Ernest Nagel]

Fecking double post!:doh::doh:

[thatgirl08]

Who seriously sits down and writes a four page article about people being assholes on the internet?

[BarbBBW]

Good article, generally speaking. A typo like "dispel" when the author means "expel" a member grates on my nerves but his points are mostly valid. I'd add a couple of my own, just for grins and giggles:


Bullies recognize on some level who they are, even if they deny it uncategorically when called out. They've been the subject of bullying themselves and know exactly the feelings they want to engender in others. Humiliation is job one.


Enablers, otoh, don't necessarily want to see someone embarrassed or hurt as much as they like feeling a resonance with someone powerful and assertive.


A truly accomplished bully relies primarily on scorn and disdain. Mockery and sarcasm are their favored tools. Not only do they emphasize their contempt for the target; a terse, flippant snark indicates the recipient is truly beneath contempt. Addressing the victims argument conveys at least marginal respect.


And of course if the subject of the bullying takes the bully to task for an ad hominem or simply baseless attack the bully must point out that he is entitled to disagree and who are you to demand his silence? Feigned innocence and righteous indignation are the bullies favorite defensive strategies on the rare occasions they're needed.


So yeah, there will always be bullies as long as there are insecure, damaged people who take pleasure from dominating and disempowering others. From my participation on other sites I'd infer that Dims is no more infested than other forums where a higher percentage of participants has been marginalized or bullied more than the mainstream.

There are a very few here I would consider raging bullies who used to really bother me. As I've observed the pathos and loneliness in their posts I've come to feel a genuine compassion for them. When it's all said and done I think most bullies are their own worst victims. The wounds that hurt us the longest are often those we've inflicted on others.

JMO. :bow:

Fecking double post!:doh::doh:

well your post was soo great, i dont mind the double post!! This is exactly what i have seen!! Great wording and explanations!

[suebeehoney]

Excellent info on forum bullies. I've been (and still am) both mod and member on other forums, and have dealt with my share of them. Personally, I don't have time for that sort of thing. Disagreement and intelligent debate are one thing, but out-and-out meanness and bullying, along with baiting someone just to get an angry response out of them are another.

We come to these forums for information, entertainment, and social gathering - not to be attacked and bullied. :)

[StarWitness]

Who seriously sits down and writes a four page article about people being assholes on the internet?

People who want to get paid.

I've written some complete tripe for AssCo, all in the name of 1.50 per 1000 hits-- and 2.00 up front, if you're lucky. :rolleyes: It's the literary equivalent of a sweatshop, but they do post damn near everything they receive.

[BeautifulPoeticDisaster]

Conrad can you define bullying? I think one persons view of bullying could just be a personality clash whilst anothers view of bullying could be personal harassment.

There are strong personalities on this board, no doubt and I have seen some very mean personal shit, but I have not seen bullying like it is traditionally defined.

Some people will never see eye to eye....and that's ok.

[Santaclear]

What about people who bully with humor? They're the worst.

[Ernest Nagel]

Conrad can you define bullying? I think one persons view of bullying could just be a personality clash whilst anothers view of bullying could be personal harassment.

There are strong personalities on this board, no doubt and I have seen some very mean personal shit, but I have not seen bullying like it is traditionally defined.

Some people will never see eye to eye....and that's ok.

Not intending to speak for Conrad here but it seems to me a post with no other real purpose than to humiliate, intimidate or inflict emotional damage just because you can is pretty easy to recognize as bullying? An abuse of power or status for personal gain or aggrandizement at the expense of another works well too, imo. If you've never seen it here you're either very gracious or totally oblivious. Let's go with gracious. What we're discussing goes way beyond personality conflicts and brushes none so gently against the definition of personality disorder. As always, JMO.

[kayrae]

I absolutely love how the writer chose a female as the forum bully.

[KHayes666]

I absolutely love how the writer chose a female as the forum bully.

Look around, are you surprised?

[Santaclear]

In a way, even the lurkers are bullies.

[tonynyc]

Not intending to speak for Conrad here but it seems to me a post with no other real purpose than to humiliate, intimidate or inflict emotional damage just because you can is pretty easy to recognize as bullying? An abuse of power or status for personal gain or aggrandizement at the expense of another works well too, imo. If you've never seen it here you're either very gracious or totally oblivious. Let's go with gracious. What we're discussing goes way beyond personality conflicts and brushes none so gently against the definition of personality disorder. As always, JMO.

Or gain Rep points - sometimes the snarkiest remarks can yield one plenty of "bonus" points... :D


Well, the problem with our society is that we're raised with the idea to respect other people's opinions even when they're stupid and or demonstrably incorrect. Civility is overrated, especially when it's fostering ignorance.


So true along with "Civility" and the "Internet" :bow:

Who seriously sits down and writes a four page article about people being assholes on the internet?


You'd be surprized - heck you could be missing out on your next $500,000 University Research Grant and future book deal.
:D

Good article, generally speaking. A typo like "dispel" when the author means "expel" a member grates on my nerves but his points are mostly valid. I'd add a couple of my own, just for grins and giggles:


Bullies recognize on some level who they are, even if they deny it uncategorically when called out. They've been the subject of bullying themselves and know exactly the feelings they want to engender in others. Humiliation is job one.


Enablers, otoh, don't necessarily want to see someone embarrassed or hurt as much as they like feeling a resonance with someone powerful and assertive.


A truly accomplished bully relies primarily on scorn and disdain. Mockery and sarcasm are their favored tools. Not only do they emphasize their contempt for the target; a terse, flippant snark indicates the recipient is truly beneath contempt. Addressing the victims argument conveys at least marginal respect.


And of course if the subject of the bullying takes the bully to task for an ad hominem or simply baseless attack the bully must point out that he is entitled to disagree and who are you to demand his silence? Feigned innocence and righteous indignation are the bullies favorite defensive strategies on the rare occasions they're needed.


So yeah, there will always be bullies as long as there are insecure, damaged people who take pleasure from dominating and disempowering others. From my participation on other sites I'd infer that Dims is no more infested than other forums where a higher percentage of participants has been marginalized or bullied more than the mainstream.

There are a very few here I would consider raging bullies who used to really bother me. As I've observed the pathos and loneliness in their posts I've come to feel a genuine compassion for them. When it's all said and done I think most bullies are their own worst victims. The wounds that hurt us the longest are often those we've inflicted on others.

JMO. :bow:

Great post Ernest


I honestly don't think we have any real problem posters, with a very few exceptions. Idiots tend to get bounced pretty early on, and when they don't they either smarten up or move on.



True, we might have short term Idiots that get bounced early;but, we also have Long term Assholes (both genders) for the extended stay...




Conrad can you define bullying? I think one persons view of bullying could just be a personality clash whilst anothers view of bullying could be personal harassment.

There are strong personalities on this board, no doubt and I have seen some very mean personal shit, but I have not seen bullying like it is traditionally defined.

Some people will never see eye to eye....and that's ok.


Sometimes it can be more than just a personality clash. You literally can have a pile on with someone that there is disagreement with...

And we've seen more than enough threads that had to get shut down...

People will respond differently to verbal conflict. Some might respond to the offender and say "Fuck Off" (they will not let this bother them )....
others might internalize things.

Of course the worse scenario is the "bully" that is a popular member of the community...

[KHayes666]

The question remains, there ARE bullies here, so what do we do about it?

[Santaclear]

The question remains, there ARE bullies here, so what do we do about it?

What do you intend to do about it, Kevin?

[Santaclear]

Realizing that we're all bullies, each of us in our own small way, has been kind of empowering.

[KHayes666]

What are you going to do about it, Kevin?

Well, a wise man once said "There are other alternatives to fighting" so Ill come up with something

[Friday]

Look around, are you surprised?

That was beneath you Kevin.

[Oirish]

Who seriously sits down and writes a four page article about people being assholes on the internet?

Pretty much sums up my opinion.

[imfree]

The question remains, there ARE bullies here, so what do we do about it?

You deal with bullies the Dimmer way. Ignore them. If
you ignite a firestorm in a thread, get the hell out.
Don't give a bully anything that can be twisted or bent,
then thrown back at you. In real life, those who have
learned to walk away from a potential fight have often
learned to do so at great expense. My lessons cost me
everything. Conflicts on the interwebz can be walked
away from with great ease. Peace is OK.:bow:

[Ernest Nagel]

In a way, even the lurkers are bullies.

I presume you're referencing some aspect of this sentiment, good sir?

"Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn." ~ George Bernard Shaw

If so, understood and agreed. :bow:

[mossystate]

That was beneath you Kevin.

Hmmmmmm.
----
Bullying can take the form of " woe is me...I am a victim ", so I can say whatever I want. Strong disagreement will always make some scream...bully. Not taking crap from people will have people scream...bully. Dishing out all kinds of jabs, and being met with someone standing up to ' you ', will have that ' you ' screaming...bully.

I cannot...honestly...think of any person on here who has not dished out what another would call...bullying. Even what seems like something ' positive ', if one is smart enough to understand the underbelly of it, can be bullying and condemning.

I have to wonder if Will just got a little a his own medicine...and got pissed off.;)

[KHayes666]

You deal with bullies the Dimmer way. Ignore them. If
you ignite a firestorm in a thread, get the hell out.
Don't give a bully anything that can be twisted or bent,
then thrown back at you. In real life, those who have
learned to walk away from a potential fight have often
learned to do so at great expense. My lessons cost me
everything. Conflicts on the interwebz can be walked
away from with great ease. Peace is OK.:bow:

Yes but ignoring the bully doesn't STOP the bully. That just gives the person carte blanche to shout at anyone and anything because no one will step up and do something about it.

Like I said, there's alternatives to jumping into a firestorm and I'm going to do what I have in mind.

[Edens_heel]

Very germaine topic. As for forum bullies, they are not the sort of people that I would associate with in my everyday life. They would not even register on my radar.
They are beneath contempt, and not worth it.

Very much agreed - I left Dims some time ago, but remained as a moderate lurker, and what brought me back in to the fold was seeing someone ask an intelligent, well thought out question, and having a tidal wave of attacks falling on top of them as a result. I felt a strong need to jump in and defend. Because of that, I've come to realize that there are more bullies than not in online forums (Dims included in that), and I generally expect the worst until someone proves otherwise. I think that's why this is the last forum I can stand to post in, and even now my tastes in Dims culture is waning heavily due to some strikingly beligerent examples that I've seen in recent months (even with Hyde Park gone the way of the dodo).

... Just writing about this reminds me why I am so glad that Hyde Park is gone. No matter the thread there, it always seemed to bring out the inner lunch-money-swiping jackass in all of us.

But I truly believe that some people beyond simple forum trolls really just get off on inciting others. It's got nothing to do with brandishing an opinion, or striking up a genuine discourse - it's about making someone angry or irritable for the sake of it. We saw loads of that around election time, and I admit that it coloured how I see a lot of posters. We don't by and large exact a level of mature emotional control when we can just exist as an online name and voice. Forums give freedom for the inner prick/bitch/asshole/zealot/biggoted/racist/sexist/fetishistic/insubordinate/egotistical fool that every single human being has lurking somewhere inside. We're all susceptable to it to varying degrees, though some seem to thrive or define themselves on it. It's the 21st century crank call - fuck with someone and cut and run before they can actually figure out who in the hell you are and why they should care.

[Santaclear]

I presume you're referencing some aspect of this sentiment, good sir?

"Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn." ~ George Bernard Shaw

If so, understood and agreed. :bow:

Exactly. They bully us with their silence.

[mossystate]

Exactly. They bully us with their silence.

Please get to writing a FIVE page article on the scamps. Thanks. Don't let them get away with it, Santa. They will read it, they just won't comment.

[Santaclear]

Please get to writing a FIVE page article on the scamps. Thanks. Don't let them get away with it, Santa. They will read it, they just won't comment.

There are so many of them too. Their silence is hurtful. But I'll get them.

[Ernest Nagel]

"The Thomas Paine quote "He who dares not offend cannot be honest." while true, doesn't automatically imply that honesty is necessarily offensive nor that anything offensive is arbitrarily honest. Just sayin'. :bow:

I'm clear I have offended many people in my life. I won't pretend it was always unintentional but I will assert it has seldom been my sole or primary purpose. I don't think a bully can honestly say that but I don't pretend to know what's in another person's mind. Bullies often seem convinced they can know precisely that. ;)

[mossystate]

Ernest, don't sell yourself and your abilities....so short. :D This thread is gonna be full of...." blahblahblah..that's not ME! ".

Wheeeeeeee.

:p

[Tina]

Exactly. They bully us with their silence.

Saul Rosenberg, is that you???

[NancyGirl74]

Alright! Fine! I'll stop!

I'm not really a bully so much as I am a smartass.

[tonynyc]

Well, a wise man once said "There are other alternatives to fighting" so Ill come up with something

Short of cursing the asshole out and saying to them that you don't "GAF what they think" is a good way to clear the soul. You get the anger out, nothing is bottled up and you feel better. :)

It's not like you are going to have an afternoon tea with this person in the near future


Too Bad "Paladin" can't be contracted for a few Internet Writing Assignments

http://www.hgwt.com/HGWT19.jpg

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_MdpphCZMDh4/Rddg-QYp2wI/AAAAAAAAABQ/JpYZ-HaoL9A/s400/Have+Gun+Will+Travel+Card.gif

[mossystate]

Alright! Fine! I'll stop!


* makes fun of your anchor *

[exile in thighville]

hey blickenstorfer if you've got something to say

[HereticFA]

Interesting article at the link, although I believe I read something very similar (and shorter) years ago on a USESNET group.

The article seems to talk around the issue of groupthink and how the bully seems to play the role of enforcer of that groupthink against the perceived interloper.

[exile in thighville]

Credibility Alert

from the article entitled "How to Pick Up Women in Chat Rooms"

Right, so, you don't want to spend half an hour trying to woo Big Bertha who spends her spare time kicking puppies.

amirite

[KHayes666]

Short of cursing the asshole out and saying to them that you don't "GAF what they think" is a good way to clear the soul. You get the anger out, nothing is bottled up and you feel better. :)

It's not like you are going to have an afternoon tea with this person in the near future


Too Bad "Paladin" can't be contracted for a few Internet Writing Assignments

http://www.hgwt.com/HGWT19.jpg

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_MdpphCZMDh4/Rddg-QYp2wI/AAAAAAAAABQ/JpYZ-HaoL9A/s400/Have+Gun+Will+Travel+Card.gif

I was thinking more of Chuck Connors lol :-)

[tonynyc]

I was thinking more of Chuck Connors lol :-)

Kevin: If you can't "wire" Chuck- there's always Robert Conrad


http://i801.photobucket.com/albums/yy298/chas48840/robertconradthunder.jpg

[TraciJo67]

I'm pretty sure that I can cleanly slice through the passive-aggressive surliness in this thread with a rusty butter knife.

[cinnamitch]

I'm pretty sure that I can cleanly slice through the passive-aggressive surliness in this thread with a rusty butter knife.

passes TraciJo some bread, mustard and ham.Might as well make a sandwich.

[Shosh]

The usual suspects. It is like clockwork, you could set your watch to it.

[tonynyc]

The usual suspects. It is like clockwork, you could set your watch to it.

So true Shosh, I agree, like a Pooch or Pooches taking a "whiz"...


http://media.bigoo.ws/content/gif/cartoon/cartoon_643.gif

[mossystate]

Aaaaaaaaaand.....scene.

[fatgirlflyin]

The usual suspects. It is like clockwork, you could set your watch to it.

That was necessary?

Bullies come in all forms, and they aren't always the "usual suspects". Sometimes they're the ones that come in a thread and play victim, sometimes they're the ones that come in a thread and try to start shit for no other reason than to start shit...

[thatgirl08]

seriously guys GET OFF YOUR COMPUTER

[Paquito]

What about people who bully with humor? They're the worst.

Or the ones who think that putting a smiley face at the end of their remark makes it all better.


:mad::wubu::blush::happy::smitten::eat2::D;):(:p

[Santaclear]

Sadly, we're all victims in this. No one is immune.

[Paquito]

Then that makes us all bullies, which means that we should all be banned...

:eek:
:eek::eek:
:eek::eek::eek:
:eek::eek::eek::eek:

[petunia805]

The usual suspects. It is like clockwork, you could set your watch to it.

Right?? I was thinking that same thing.

[Santaclear]

So true Shosh, I agree, like a Pooch or Pooches taking a "whiz"...


http://media.bigoo.ws/content/gif/cartoon/cartoon_643.gif

That was very hurtful, Tony.

[tonynyc]

That was very hurtful, Tony.

Why is that "hurtful" -I just tend to be blunt at times. You are one of the nicer folks here in Dims and surely you don't think that this refers to you. Cause it doesn't

[fatgirlflyin]

Why is that "hurtful" -I just tend to be blunt at times. You are one of the nicer folks here in Dims and surely you don't think that this refers to you.


No, being blunt would have been calling people by name and calling them a bitch. Posting a gif of a dog taking a piss and comparing people to pooches taking a piss is being passive agressive.

[TraciJo67]

passes TraciJo some bread, mustard and ham.Might as well make a sandwich.

Is it a canned ham sammy? Coz that's da shizzzzzz.

[tonynyc]

No, being blunt would have been calling people by name and calling them a bitch. Posting a gif of a dog taking a piss and comparing people to pooches taking a piss is being passive agressive.

If a situations calls for me to be blunt- I have no problems with that. I'm more than happy to respond in a respectful manner - and if need be more than happy to use more stronger terms.

Now as far as expletives...I never cared for any of the "b- words" not enough punch. And depending on some nasty folks in the past that I've dealt with... I've compared them to worse.

[fatgirlflyin]

If a situations calls for me to be blunt- I have no problems with that. I'm more than happy to respond in a respectful manner - and if need be more than happy to use more stronger terms.

Now as far as expletives...I never cared for any of the "b- words" not enough punch. And depending on some nasty folks in the past that I've dealt with... I've compared them to worse.

Dude, you posted a picture of a dog and compared them to dogs. Just because you didn't use the word bitch doesn't mean you weren't saying it...

What's really screwed up is if they post in here defending themselves there are gonna be a few of you yelling "seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I told you!"

[Shosh]

Right?? I was thinking that same thing.

Indeed. It is mundane it it's predictability.

[Blackjack]

Dude, you posted a picture of a dog and compared them to dogs. Just because you didn't use the word bitch doesn't mean you weren't saying it...

And of course the term "lipstick on a pig" is always a reference to Palin. ALWAYS.



ETA: Also, female dogs don't lift their legs to piss like the one in the .gif does, so... your stretch doesn't even work that way.

[tonynyc]

What's really screwed up is if they post in here defending themselves there are gonna be a few of you yelling "seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I told you!"

Well life isn't fair, I wish I was a world class chef.
And... Since inquiring minds would like to know- whom do you think I'm referring to ?....

[thatgirl08]

lol this is getting hilarious. Some people are so sensitive. This is the internet.. get off your fucking computer. I mean come on.

[BarbBBW]

hmmm i wonder if this is what the "webmaster" had planned?
I am glad I posted early in this thread and said very little, cause its getting pretty bad in here. :doh:
Hey Thatgirl,.. i just got on the pc hehehe i was out swimming! it wasnt bad when I check the thread earlier!

[The Orange Mage]

The question remains, there ARE bullies here, so what do we do about it?

Easy. There's an ignore function in the User Control Panel. A couple days ago I finally got around to ignoring a handful of posters who will go unnamed and the forum is much nicer to read as a result.

[wrestlingguy]

I dunno...............I don't want to tell the man who owns the house that he's in the wrong room, but isn't the Main Dimensions Board supposed to be about size/size acceptance issues?

Would I be bullying anyone to request that this thread be moved to The Lounge, or anywhere but here?

[mossystate]

I dunno...............I don't want to tell the man who owns the house that he's in the wrong room, but isn't the Main Dimensions Board supposed to be about size/size acceptance issues?

Would I be bullying anyone to request that this thread be moved to The Lounge, or anywhere but here?

Of course it is bullying...you are disagreeing with someone on Dimensions.

;)

Helllooooooooooo Lounge.

[exile in thighville]

i have the entire forum set on ignore

[The Fez]

You lasted 2 whole pages before it began. Kudos I guess.

[KHayes666]

You lasted 2 whole pages before it began. Kudos I guess.

I can't go 2 whole minutes without singing Love Kills by Freddie Mercury today for some reason

[thatgirl08]

Hey Thatgirl,.. i just got on the pc hehehe i was out swimming! it wasnt bad when I check the thread earlier!

Dude I'm so jealous.. I've only gone swimming once so far this summer.. the weather has been seriously sucking around here.

[mrfantasy90]

I heard that its been rainy and cool in Rochester this summer.

[cinnamitch]

Is it a canned ham sammy? Coz that's da shizzzzzz.

Watch it Missy or its Lutefisk for you.

[thatgirl08]

I heard that its been rainy and cool in Rochester this summer.

Yep. Also, we got hit with a tornado yesterday like what the hell.

[Fascinita]

What about the Forum Hitmen? No one's noticed that this is a problem, too? :(

[mrfantasy90]

Yep. Also, we got hit with a tornado yesterday like what the hell.

A TORNADO??? In Rochester???!!!!! WHERE???!!!! Ontario?

[Dr. Feelgood]

A TORNADO??? In Rochester???!!!!! WHERE???!!!! Ontario?

So THAT'S where our tornado went! You can keep it, though. Since it's used and all...

[fatgirlflyin]

lol this is getting hilarious. Some people are so sensitive. This is the internet.. get off your fucking computer. I mean come on.

You do see the humor in you posting in this thread, chastising other people for posting in this thread right?

[Santaclear]

This has definitely been the most heartbreaking thread of the week.

[Mini]

This has definitely been the most heartbreaking thread of the week.

Not true. What about Russel's tearjerker? Surely his inability to be a four-time widower ranks somewhat higher than this one.

[superodalisque]

Indeed. It is mundane it it's predictability.

yes exactly. it really has gotten boring and tiresome. and people who have something interesting and inciteful to say won't talk anymore except in PMs to people who they know will talk to them and don't sit around wearing judges robes they aren't qualified to put on.

you know, i can understand people having a different opinion from me. i actually like it. and, i love a good scrap. but what i don't care for is when people make personal attacks and name call people who are different from them. especially people they don't actually know. the intolerance is really small minded. i know everyone has slip ups at times including me. but there are people in the forums who are ALWAYS looking for someone to sharpen their tongue on. its sad when there is hardly one thread where you can't get along with people well enough to at least discuss the subject and leave people who differ from you the room to do the same. its human everyone is going to do it at some time or another. but you can be just as scrappy without being abusive and making seriously detrimental allegations about things you have no way of knowing the truth about. but there are really some people who don't recognize the difference unless its applied to them. they can say anything they like about anyone in any form they see fit but when you call them on it they accuse you of getting personal with them. there is a lot of pot calling the kettle around. most of them can dish it out but they definitely can't take it.

the biggest shame is its often someone who really has something to add to the conversation but they don't have the social skills to know how. there are things they could say that could really make people think and maybe even make some positive changes. but thier shrill and abusive behavior only makes people feel justified in thier positions and sometimes more firmly entrenched than ever. and all of the personal attacks also derail anything constructive anyone else would like to say or ask because the atmosphere of cooperation and common ground gets ruined. no matter what our own personal peccadillos are we still have a big thing in common here and it would be nice if sometimes people realized that instead of always trying to be against someone rather than for everyone even when you disagree. on my most uncharitable days i often end up feeling as though there are people here who don't even deserve the acceptance they are asking for since its the height of hypocracy to ask for something your unwilling to give yourself.

[Santaclear]

Not true. What about Russel's tearjerker? Surely his inability to be a four-time widower ranks somewhat higher than this one.

Well, Russell started his thread on Thursday so I was counting it as last week's. It definitely was a hanky-wringer tho.

[tonynyc]

Well, Russell started his thread on Thursday so I was counting it as last week's. It definitely was a hanky-wringer tho.

Also a "Nail Biter" in the tradition of "Novellas" and "Old time Serials". Everyone is wondering what is going to happen next? I've never seen so much raw emotions pour out from all sides in one thread.

[superodalisque]

hmmm i wonder if this is what the "webmaster" had planned?
I am glad I posted early in this thread and said very little, cause its getting pretty bad in here. :doh:
!

you thought it wouldn't? !!!! ;)

[mossystate]

Oh..come on , Felicia. *L* I wasn't even going to say anything, but, this drum you beat is as old as the things you say you don't like. I think everyone out here has to have certain conversations in PM. There are many conversations that don't happen, but you are more angry at people who simply do not express themselves the way you would express yourself. You have some pretty spiffy looking robes, yourself. This stuff is going round in circles. It is the same circle. You will have to shuck your own robes, if you truly....truly.....want more than what you think is just a pile of shit. There is so much good that comes from those you deem...bullies. You really want the crap to stop? Really think about what that might mean for you...and what you would have to give up. I know you like doing ....this. * insert winking smiley *


This is nuts. * insert winking smiley *

* goes for a popsicle *

[Mini]

See, here's why these threads *always* amuse me. Everyone beats around the bush and basically says the forum would be better if we all acted like we were in first grade, but you never name names and just come right out and say who the fuck you want to get the boot.

Am I a bully? I have no clue. I don't try to be one, and I don't believe there's *anyone* here who has stuck up for me unconditionally. I get called when I step out of line, and most of the rest of y'all have me on ignore, so I don't see why it's such a big deal.

So who is it, then? Traci? Mossy? Dan? Santa? The fuck knows? We're adults here. If you can't handle the adult language and the occasional flared temper, you don't belong on the Internet anyway.

[LillyBBBW]

I was called a bully once or twice on this forum. Both times it came from somebody I got mad at. I pointed directly at what pissed me off and got called a bully and was even accused of trying to silence people and squelch opposing views, like *I'm* not supposed to have any. :rolleyes: I'm no bully, I just happen to be pretty good at expressing myself. There are many times that I do keep quiet though. I get tired of arguing over the same things all the time, it gets old and wearing.

And since were on the subject of what pisses us off anyway, what gets my goat are people who always expect someone else to draw their swords to defend their own fragile sense of right and wrong. When a poster comes here and posts some offensive bla bla bla, if one of "the usual subjects" doesn't jump right on it and give the offensive poster a good talking to they come from out of nowhere to post some angry diatribe that consists of, "I can't believe none of you have told ________ what an awful butt wart s/he is!! Does this mean this is accepted here?!?! :mad: And all along I thought this was a respectable forum!!! Does this mean I have to LEAVE!?!?!!!!" and the poster has only posted 12 times in 4 years. Drives me batshit crazy. I think people like that should be banned IMMEDIATELY. :mad: NO! We should send hired goons to their house to kick the door in and slap them silly. Everything is their fault. That's just my opinion, so don't attack me please thnkyu.

[Santaclear]

Also a "Nail Biter" in the tradition of "Novellas" and "Old time Serials". Everyone is wondering what is going to happen next? I've never seen so much raw emotions pour out from all sides in one thread.

There is a major motion picture in the works, Thread Bully, starring Russell Crowe, Roseanne Barr, John Goodman, Meryl Streep and Harry Dean Stanton as "Gramps."

[LoveBHMS]

Also a "Nail Biter" in the tradition of "Novellas" and "Old time Serials". Everyone is wondering what is going to happen next? I've never seen so much raw emotions pour out from all sides in one thread.

I'm guessing a post about how he chastised the Parks Department for not providing armless chairs to the guests at his committment ceremony.

[succubus_dxb]

I thought the title was "Forum Bellies"....sigh...

:(

[Santaclear]

I thought the title was "Forum Bellies"....sigh...

:(

Forum Hillbillies

[superodalisque]

Oh..come on , Felicia. *L* I wasn't even going to say anything, but, this drum you beat is as old as the things you say you don't like. I think everyone out here has to have certain conversations in PM. There are many conversations that don't happen, but you are more angry at people who simply do not express themselves the way you would express yourself. You have some pretty spiffy looking robes, yourself. This stuff is going round in circles. It is the same circle. You will have to shuck your own robes, if you truly....truly.....want more than what you think is just a pile of shit. There is so much good that comes from those you deem...bullies. You really want the crap to stop? Really think about what that might mean for you...and what you would have to give up. I know you like doing ....this. * insert winking smiley *


This is nuts. * insert winking smiley *

* goes for a popsicle *

i'll keep it short and sweet then--so?

as far as i know i can disagree with how people express themselves. people are free to disagree with how i express myself too and they often do. i don't have to agree with the totally dehumanizing and overly personal way they talk to and about other human beings... it wouldn't bother me quite as much if there wasn't so much crying when other people returned the favor in whatever way they choose. this thread isn't an accident. its here for a reason.

[furious styles]

this thread makes me think of a bunch of pro wrestlers in a pillow fight.

[tonynyc]

So who is it, then? Traci? Mossy? Dan? Santa? The fuck knows? We're adults here. If you can't the adult language and the occasional flared temper, you don't belong on the Internet anyway.


I could never picture a Bully named "Santa" that's Sacreligious

[Mini]

I could never picture a Bully named "Santa" that's Sacreligious


Your imagination is obviously not vivid enough. I recommend practicing with pornography until you can jerk off with no hands.

Once you've achieved that level it'll be easy to picture Santa dropping in through chimneys and drop-kicking orphans into pointy ornaments.

[KHayes666]

I could never picture a Bully named "Santa" that's Sacreligious


um......

http://www.media8ent.com/m8/posters/santas_slay/02_small_santa.jpg

[mossystate]

i'll keep it short and sweet then--so?

as far as i know i can disagree with how people express themselves. people are free to disagree with how i express myself too and they often do. i don't have to agree with the totally dehumanizing and overly personal way they talk to and about other human beings... it wouldn't bother me quite as much if there wasn't so much crying when other people returned the favor in whatever way they choose. this thread isn't an accident. its here for a reason.

Oh lord. There is a slicker way of dehumanizing people. Either way...the slick...or the sarcastic way.....same thing. That's what I am saying here. Some people don't quiiiite know they have been slammed, when the slick go at them. They just might feel a lil...uncomfy...but they are not sure...why.

A sneer is a sneer, no matter how much sugar is clinging on the edges of the lips. I am saying this to anybody who whines about those of us who cut through some of the cane. Could both ' types ' cool it at times...sure...I know I can ( and that only applies to people who are TRULY hapless, not those who cry bully, simply because they don't like to be disagreed with, sometimes in the same tone they first put out for the world to see ). The people I ' go after ' out here who are not out swinging themselves?...there are few...very few.

The more colorful language will of course be noticed by more people. Does not mean the message is any meaner than when it comes from the sloppers.

* feels like I am in a Twilight Zone episode *

[superodalisque]

Oh lord. There is a slicker way of dehumanizing people. Either way...the slick...or the sarcastic way.....same thing. That's what I am saying here. Some people don't quiiiite know they have been slammed, when the slick go at them. They just might feel a lil...uncomfy...but they are not sure...why.

A sneer is a sneer, no matter how much sugar is clinging on the edges of the lips. I am saying this to anybody who whines about those of us who cut through some of the cane. Could both ' types ' cool it at times...sure...I know I can ( and that only applies to people who are TRULY hapless, not those who cry bully, simply because they don't like to be disagreed with, sometimes in the same tone they first put out for the world to see ). The people I ' go after ' out here who are not out swinging themselves?...there are few...very few.

The more colorful language will of course be noticed by more people. Does not mean the message is any meaner than when it comes from the sloppers.

* feels like I am in a Twilight Zone episode *

you know, the more i read that article the more i really do believe its talking about you. i'm not the one with nearly 10,000 posts even though i have been here about as long as you have. i think the only reason you have such a problem with me is because i'm not afraid of you and you can't make me shut up and go away. otherwise we tend to agree on a lot of things. we probably even agree on the self confidence issue. but i notice that you seem to like reading things into my posts that i have never said and trying to recharacterize them. i'm going to stop posting here now because once again you jumped in being personal when we were just discussing bullies in general. you can have this thread all to yourself now--have fun. this one note thing is just tiresome and boring.

[cinnamitch]

I was called a bully once or twice on this forum. Both times it came from somebody I got mad at. I pointed directly at what pissed me off and got called a bully and was even accused of trying to silence people and squelch opposing views, like *I'm* not supposed to have any. :rolleyes: I'm no bully, I just happen to be pretty good at expressing myself. There are many times that I do keep quiet though. I get tired of arguing over the same things all the time, it gets old and wearing.

And since were on the subject of what pisses us off anyway, what gets my goat are people who always expect someone else to draw their swords to defend their own fragile sense of right and wrong. When a poster comes here and posts some offensive bla bla bla, if one of "the usual subjects" doesn't jump right on it and give the offensive poster a good talking to they come from out of nowhere to post some angry diatribe that consists of, "I can't believe none of you have told ________ what an awful butt wart s/he is!! Does this mean this is accepted here?!?! :mad: And all along I thought this was a respectable forum!!! Does this mean I have to LEAVE!?!?!!!!" and the poster has only posted 12 times in 4 years. Drives me batshit crazy. I think people like that should be banned IMMEDIATELY. :mad: NO! We should send hired goons to their house to kick the door in and slap them silly. Everything is their fault. That's just my opinion, so don't attack me please thnkyu.

You just HAD to say piss that many times didn't you? Now i have to go to the bathroom.

[tonynyc]

Your imagination is obviously not vivid enough. I recommend practicing with pornography until you can jerk off with no hands.

Once you've achieved that level it'll be easy to picture Santa dropping in through chimneys and drop-kicking orphans into pointy ornaments.

:eek: that's one image i don't need

[KHayes666]

You just HAD to say piss that many times didn't you? Now i have to go to the bathroom.

http://media.southparkstudios.com/media/images/1108/1108_meet_kyle.jpg

"PISS OUT MY ASSSSSSSS"


like that?

[mossystate]

you know, the more i read that article the more i really do believe its talking about you. i'm not the one with nearly 10,000 posts even though i have been here about as long as you have. i think the only reason you have such a problem with me is because i'm not afraid of you and you can't make me shut up and go away. otherwise we tend to agree on a lot of things. we probably even agree on the self confidence issue. but i notice that you seem to like reading things into my posts that i have never said and trying to recharacterize them. i'm going to stop posting here now because once again you jumped in being personal when we were just discussing bullies in general. you can have this thread all to yourself now--have fun.

Make you shut up? Felicia, now you have just gone and acted all odd and stuff. You are doing what those with the real ' victim mentality ' do, and I really...and I am serious...thought you were less manipulative in that way.

The " you can have this thread all to yourself "...is really beneath you, or so I thought. I don't like some of what you say out here, but I never figured you for one who wanted to have her say...and then take her ball home. What was it that you said...something about having your say? I was having mine.

Crazy stuff tonight. The heat?

The post count...now you are reading into ...my....post....count. Ummmmm. I will share my popsicles with you.

[tonynyc]

um......

http://www.media8ent.com/m8/posters/santas_slay/02_small_santa.jpg

Didn't know that Goldberg converted

[TraciJo67]

See, here's why these threads *always* amuse me. Everyone beats around the bush and basically says the forum would be better if we all acted like we were in first grade, but you never name names and just come right out and say who the fuck you want to get the boot.

Am I a bully? I have no clue. I don't try to be one, and I don't believe there's *anyone* here who has stuck up for me unconditionally. I get called when I step out of line, and most of the rest of y'all have me on ignore, so I don't see why it's such a big deal.

So who is it, then? Traci? Mossy? Dan? Santa? The fuck knows? We're adults here. If you can't handle the adult language and the occasional flared temper, you don't belong on the Internet anyway.


Thank you, Mini, for cutting through the bullshit. I'd really prefer that we not tiptoe around the issue as well. This is ridiculous. What is the purpose of this thread? What were you hoping to accomplish, Conrad? Why can't people just say exactly what they mean? And if people allow themselves to feel intimidated on a message board, what does that say about them? I read the article. What jumped out at me was how completely ridiculous the whole concept is -- how the behaviors of the "bullies" and their "enablers" (including those who are apparently too meek to voice any kind of objection) mirrors the social construct of a Junior High School clique with the popular kids on one side and the geeks/nerds on the other. Have we really not evolved beyond that?

I know that I've unthinkingly hurt a few people, and I've made my apologies to those people. And no, Susannah, you aren't one of them. I think that you made your own bed here. Your behavior towards others hasn't been above reproach. You have a habit of rushing in, taking an extremely nasty swipe, and then backing out while wrapping yourself in a cloak of victimhood which basically dares anyone to call you on what you've just said or done. That doesn't fly with me.

And yes I know that I haven't tiptoed around the edges here, and I've named some names. I can't see how that is any different than what Tony, Kevin and Susannah have done -- they've simply chosen a less direct route, while managing to convey points with no real subtlety whatsoever. Everyone knows who they are referring to, and what they're really saying. In my mind, the very existence of this thread begs for us ***all*** to just dispense with the bullshit. If anyone is really this angry, or really this intimidated, maybe we actually *need* to take off the white gloves.

[KHayes666]

Didn't know that Goldberg converted

you didn't know?

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_T3lzrzH2fMo/SU8MtPaBusI/AAAAAAAADbM/7PjBu_sAE7I/s400/santasslay.jpg

[rainyday]

Saw this really good article on forum bullies (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/532829/online_forum_etiquette_how_to_deal.html?cat=9). Gotta watch out for them critters. If we have any, let me know.

yup, i bit as well

[tonynyc]

Tony and Susannah have done -- they've simply chosen a less direct route, while managing to convey points with no real subtlety whatsoever. Everyone knows who they are referring to, and what they're really saying. In my mind, the very existence of this thread begs for us ***all*** to just dispense with the bullshit. If anyone is really this angry, or really this intimidated, maybe we actually *need* to take off the white gloves.

Whether you found my point subtle or not - I could care less

[cinnamitch]

http://media.southparkstudios.com/media/images/1108/1108_meet_kyle.jpg

"PISS OUT MY ASSSSSSSS"

like that?

Aww you went to the Bio school of forum posting..How cute.(I like his cartoons better though), Never cared for South Park. Damn that Kenny!

[Santaclear]

What about the Forum Hitmen? No one's noticed that this is a problem, too? :(

I dunno. These guys don't look that scary.

[KHayes666]

I dunno. These guys don't look that scary.

You want scary dudes....check this out

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_UPPOli6SK9c/R4Q8mjQebdI/AAAAAAAAAW4/ePnzdA7ffrM/s400/Five+Neat+Guys+Wallpaper.jpg

These badasses scare the shyt out of me

[cinnamitch]

I dunno. These guys don't look that scary.

I dunno about you but a couple of those shirt patterns skeered me.

[thatgirl08]

A TORNADO??? In Rochester???!!!!! WHERE???!!!! Ontario?

yessir, a tornado in Rochester. Not Ontario county though.. Monroe mostly. Just nearly missed me over here in Brockport/Sweden/Hamlin area. :eek:

You do see the humor in you posting in this thread, chastising other people for posting in this thread right?

Who's laughing? I'm not chastising you for posting in this thread.. it's the fact that like 18 people in a row posted OMG I KNOW SO MANY BULLIES THIS IS TERRIBLE WHAT DO WE DO I'M SO SAD. Like, are you people seriously letting internetdrama affect your life that much? If you are, get off the fucking computer and find some friends, honestly. I'm looking at you FGF.

So who is it, then? Traci? Mossy? Dan? Santa? The fuck knows? We're adults here. If you can't handle the adult language and the occasional flared temper, you don't belong on the Internet anyway.

Dude, word.

Just for the sake of being less vague I'll say this.. Mossy, Traci, Dan and Mini are all huge douches but this forum would be so fucking boring without them. I'll add um, LoveBHMs to this list too. love that girl.

[Santaclear]

this thread makes me think of a bunch of pro wrestlers in a pillow fight.

Must we continue recycling this endless circle of hatred and hurt?

[KHayes666]

Must we continue recycling this endless circle of hatred and hurt?

maybe this will help....

http://img2.allposters.com/images/73/039_24133.jpg

aint nothin hea but a bunch of kidsss

[cinnamitch]

yessir, a tornado in Rochester. Not Ontario county though.. Monroe mostly. Just nearly missed me over here in Brockport/Sweden/Hamlin area. :eek:



Who's laughing? I'm not chastising you for posting in this thread.. it's the fact that like 18 people in a row posted OMG I KNOW SO MANY BULLIES THIS IS TERRIBLE WHAT DO WE DO I'M SO SAD. Like, are you people seriously letting internetdrama affect your life that much? If you are, get off the fucking computer and find some friends, honestly. I'm looking at you FGF.



Dude, word.

Just for the sake of being less vague I'll say this.. Mossy, Traci, Dan and Mini are all huge douches but this forum would be so fucking boring without them. I'll add um, LoveBHMs to this list too. love that girl.

Douches? I have yet to see any one of them sitting on the shelf of the feminine hygiene aisle.Well maybe Mini and Dan but i think they were doing research.

[thatgirl08]

Douches? I have yet to see any one of them sitting on the shelf of the feminine hygiene aisle.Well maybe Mini and Dan but i think they were doing research.

Hahah, research. I love that word though.

[exile in thighville]

to this day i have no fucking idea what it means when mossystate says *L*

[fatgirlflyin]

Who's laughing? I'm not chastising you for posting in this thread.. it's the fact that like 18 people in a row posted OMG I KNOW SO MANY BULLIES THIS IS TERRIBLE WHAT DO WE DO I'M SO SAD. Like, are you people seriously letting internetdrama affect your life that much? If you are, get off the fucking computer and find some friends, honestly. I'm looking at you FGF.



Dude, word.

Just for the sake of being less vague I'll say this.. Mossy, Traci, Dan and Mini are all huge douches but this forum would be so fucking boring without them. I'll add um, LoveBHMs to this list too. love that girl.

I've got plenty of friends thanks. So does the fact that you are posting here mean that you don't? And I actually haven't said there were any bullies here. Just that there are plenty of types of bullies. Its a discussion board and I was discussing.

[fatgirlflyin]

to this day i have no fucking idea what it means when mossystate says *L*

I am pretty sure it means laughing?

[Fascinita]

I dunno. These guys don't look that scary.

Appearances are deceiving, etc. I saw one of those guys (see below) stroll into the Kelligrl thread the other day and take out three wankers with a single, well-aimed post. Just like that. It was horrifying.

67731

[thatgirl08]

I've got plenty of friends thanks. So does the fact that you are posting here mean that you don't? And I actually haven't said there were any bullies here. Just that there are plenty of types of bullies. Its a discussion board and I was discussing.

Could I really afford to be such a bitch if I was friendless?

[thatgirl08]

to this day i have no fucking idea what it means when mossystate says *L*

I've been wondering this lately.

[imfree]

I dunno. These guys don't look that scary.

These guys look serious!

[fatgirlflyin]

Could I really afford to be such a bitch if I was friendless?


Good point...

ETA: I actually tried to rep you for that post but I'm out. You have irritated the shit out of me in this thread, gotta admit that, but you made me LOL.

[cinnamitch]

I personally like my forum security team to be well dressed and high class at all times, separates us from the riff raff.

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l229/magencylee/three_stooges.jpg

[LoveBHMS]

Just for the sake of being less vague I'll say this.. Mossy, Traci, Dan and Mini are all huge douches but this forum would be so fucking boring without them. I'll add um, LoveBHMs to this list too. love that girl.

Squee.

:wubu::wubu::wubu:

But seriously, Thatgirl08 really nailed this whole issue.

1. Some people are jerks
2. We're all adults and can deal with it.

[thatgirl08]

Good point...

ETA: I actually tried to rep you for that post but I'm out. You have irritated the shit out of me in this thread, gotta admit that, but you made me LOL.

Haha, thank you darling. It's all in good fun.

Squee.

:wubu::wubu::wubu:

But seriously, Thatgirl08 really nailed this whole issue.

1. Some people are jerks
2. We're all adults and can deal with it.

Yep!

[Paquito]

Let's see...two adult women were previously disagreeing with one another, but now have resolved the issue and shared a laugh in the process.

What was so difficult about that?

[Santaclear]

These guys look serious!

Yeah, that was the aftermath, after all the trouble the other day on the Kelligrl thread.

Poor guys.

[tonynyc]

Yeah, that was the aftermath, after all the trouble the other day on the Kelligrl thread.

Poor guys.

Looks like Witness Protection, The New Look, The Prison chow and The Orange Jumpsuit didn't do wonders for Kelligirl's figure either :rolleyes:

[LoveBHMS]

Let's see...two adult women were previously arguing, but now have resolved the issue and shared a laugh in the process.

What was so difficult about that?

No shit.

It helps that they're both really cool chicks.

[fatgirlflyin]

No shit.

It helps that they're both really cool chicks.


:) Loves

Also I dont know that I'd call it arguing either. We don't really know each other, and its the internet. Discussing, even disagreeing, but not arguing.

[imfree]

Looks like Witness Protection, The New Look, The Prison chow and Orange Jumpsuit didn't do wonders for Kelligirl's figure either :rolleyes:

No, Tony, the person in the orange jump suit is only the
one Dimmer who knows where KG is. The Forum Marshals
just took the guy into protective custody to be sure the
secret doesn't get out.:D

[tonynyc]

No, Tony, the person in the orange jump suit is only the
one Dimmer who knows where KG is. The Forum Marshals
just took the guy into protective custody to be sure the
secret doesn't get out.:D

LOL - that clears that mystery up

[KHayes666]

LOL - that clears that mystery up

Do the Scooby Doo call....after all, you solved the mystery lol

[Mini]

Now that we're all friends again, I call for a celebratory orgy.

[tonynyc]

Do the Scooby Doo call....after all, you solved the mystery lol

Not without the Scooby Snacks :D

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/72/Recipe.gif


http://www.gifmania.co.uk/Scooby_Doo/TgC_comic342.gif

[thatgirl08]

Now that we're all friends again, I call for a celebratory orgy.

yaaaaaaaaaaaay

[Paquito]

As long as there are no orgy bullies, then I'm all in.

[furious styles]

to this day i have no fucking idea what it means when mossystate says *L*

i always thought it was a face? like the asterisks were eyes and the L was the nose .. kind of a @_@ in different terms.

[thatgirl08]

i always thought it was a face? like the asterisks were eyes and the L was the nose .. kind of a @_@ in different terms.

never thought of it that way.

[mrfantasy90]

Ha ha ha this is hillarious!

[Fascinita]

It has truly been an evening of such compassion, in the end. I think I'm feeling a little verklempt.

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f231/Dollygood/smiley-verklempt.gif

[kayrae]

yeah.. i thought it meant she was starry-eyed.

i always thought it was a face? like the asterisks were eyes and the L was the nose .. kind of a @_@ in different terms.

[thatgirl08]

yeah.. i thought it meant she was starry-eyed.

No I really do think it means she's laughing.

[mossystate]

You youngsters should know all these online twitches. Sheesh.

Ok...maybe it doesn't mean laugh.

[Carl1h]

My take on this is that anyone who thinks that this applies to them, it probably does. Consider it constructive criticism and try to do better. Self improvement in any form is no waste. Whether people point you out as a bully or not, trying to filter out our own bully-ish behavior is a good thing for all of us.

Arguing that others should be less sensitive or somehow less weak is a cop out. In the end we all should be moderating ourselves.

[Angel]

So who is it, then?

I confess. I know it's me.

I just like to have a little fun from time to time at the expense of someone else. You know, poke a little fun. Try to humiliate or embarrass; put them in their place. I know I have to add a little sarcasm and a smilie to the post, so it doen't appear that I am being seriously offensive or cruel. Those little smilies are what have kept me from being banned. :D I can ridicule someone then end my post with a ;) and that winking smilie gets me off the hook. It's worked everytime so far. I can post anything hurtful as long as it's "my opinion". I'm entitled to post "my opinion" even if you all think I'm an asshole. I know how far I can go without crossing the line and getting banned. I'm a bully and I'm proud of it. My friends think I'm hilarious. You should see all the high fiving that goes on in our private messages. Sometimes we even tag team bully our target. More laughs. It's all just for fun and games. Just for laughs. No one ever takes me serious. My words can't hurt or offend anyway. They are mere words with no meaning behind them. Nothing at all. Just words on a forum. That's all. It's all about me having a good laugh anyway. It makes me feel good, at least for a minute or two. :D

















I hope the day never comes when I may need a life saving organ transplant, and the only match is someone that I have never met in person but have relentlessly bullied and ridiculed online.

[Mini]

My take on this is that anyone who thinks that this applies to them, it probably does. Consider it constructive criticism and try to do better. Self improvement in any form is no waste. Whether people point you out as a bully or not, trying to filter out our own bully-ish behavior is a good thing for all of us.

Arguing that others should be less sensitive or somehow less weak is a cop out. In the end we all should be moderating ourselves.

This sounds like something a pussy would say.

[thatgirl08]

I confess. I know it's me.

I just like to have a little fun from time to time at the expense of someone else. You know, poke a little fun. Try to humiliate or embarrass; put them in their place. I know I have to add a little sarcasm and a smilie to the post, so it doen't appear that I am being seriously offensive or cruel. Those little smilies are what have kept me from being banned. :D I can ridicule someone then end my post with a ;) and that winking smilie gets me off the hook. It's worked everytime so far. I can post anything hurtful as long as it's "my opinion". I'm entitled to post "my opinion" even if you all think I'm an asshole. I know how far I can go without crossing the line and getting banned. I'm a bully and I'm proud of it. My friends think I'm hilarious. You should see all the high fiving that goes on in our private messages. Sometimes we even tag team bully our target. More laughs. It's all just for fun and games. Just for laughs. No one ever takes me serious. My words can't hurt or offend anyway. They are mere words with no meaning behind them. Nothing at all. Just words on a forum. That's all. It's all about me having a good laugh anyway. It makes me feel good, at least for a minute or two. :D

















I hope the day never comes when I may need a life saving organ transplant, and the only match is someone that I have never met in person but have relentlessly bullied and ridiculed online.

Who the fuck are you? I've never seen you post a single thing on this forum until just now.

[Angel]

Who the fuck are you? I've never seen you post a single thing on this forum until just now.

Nice to meet you, too.

[Wagimawr]

This is why we get all the newbies.

Hint: don't put the immediate smackdown on the people with 3-digit post counts.

Also, as far as some points made earlier about letting it all hang out as far as accusations were concerned, wasn't Hyde Park closed in part because of too many people saying exactly what they think about another person and then not letting it go? I'm all for brutal honesty, but if it makes people hate each other in or out of an argument, is it worth it? Yes, because then you know where everyone stands. Usually.

[BeautifulPoeticDisaster]

Who the fuck are you? I've never seen you post a single thing on this forum until just now.

She's actually been around for quite a while....way before you or I were here.

[Shosh]

I confess. I know it's me.

I just like to have a little fun from time to time at the expense of someone else. You know, poke a little fun. Try to humiliate or embarrass; put them in their place. I know I have to add a little sarcasm and a smilie to the post, so it doen't appear that I am being seriously offensive or cruel. Those little smilies are what have kept me from being banned. :D I can ridicule someone then end my post with a ;) and that winking smilie gets me off the hook. It's worked everytime so far. I can post anything hurtful as long as it's "my opinion". I'm entitled to post "my opinion" even if you all think I'm an asshole. I know how far I can go without crossing the line and getting banned. I'm a bully and I'm proud of it. My friends think I'm hilarious. You should see all the high fiving that goes on in our private messages. Sometimes we even tag team bully our target. More laughs. It's all just for fun and games. Just for laughs. No one ever takes me serious. My words can't hurt or offend anyway. They are mere words with no meaning behind them. Nothing at all. Just words on a forum. That's all. It's all about me having a good laugh anyway. It makes me feel good, at least for a minute or two. :D














I hope the day never comes when I may need a life saving organ transplant, and the only match is someone that I have never met in person but have relentlessly bullied and ridiculed online.

Well said Angel. Very thought provoking.

[petunia805]

I confess. I know it's me.

I just like to have a little fun from time to time at the expense of someone else. You know, poke a little fun. Try to humiliate or embarrass; put them in their place. I know I have to add a little sarcasm and a smilie to the post, so it doen't appear that I am being seriously offensive or cruel. Those little smilies are what have kept me from being banned. :D I can ridicule someone then end my post with a ;) and that winking smilie gets me off the hook. It's worked everytime so far. I can post anything hurtful as long as it's "my opinion". I'm entitled to post "my opinion" even if you all think I'm an asshole. I know how far I can go without crossing the line and getting banned. I'm a bully and I'm proud of it. My friends think I'm hilarious. You should see all the high fiving that goes on in our private messages. Sometimes we even tag team bully our target. More laughs. It's all just for fun and games. Just for laughs. No one ever takes me serious. My words can't hurt or offend anyway. They are mere words with no meaning behind them. Nothing at all. Just words on a forum. That's all. It's all about me having a good laugh anyway. It makes me feel good, at least for a minute or two. :D


I hope the day never comes when I may need a life saving organ transplant, and the only match is someone that I have never met in person but have relentlessly bullied and ridiculed online.

I love it!!! Well done!!

[thatgirl08]

Nice to meet you, too.

:]

Hint: don't put the immediate smackdown on the people with 3-digit post counts.

Clearly over it.

She's actually been around for quite a while....way before you or I were here.

Yeah, saw that. Just surprised that she was all 'yeah I'm bully and I don't care' since I have seriously never seen a post of hers before. Like where are these mean posts? just.. interesting.

[mossystate]

I hope the day never comes when I may need a life saving organ transplant, and the only match is someone that I have never met in person but have relentlessly bullied and ridiculed online.

This is dramatic...overly so.

You are talking about what is mostly a matter of things people do not agree on, and sometimes get super sassy with the delivery of opinion. New people, who truly are not trolls and have dipped a toe into the Dims waters, and have had strong people grill them....now, that can sometimes be a lil scary...lol

We have people who are using the word bully, and have also bullied....using their definition. Being better at holding people to their words, does not mean that they are being bullied. This gets so silly. It has been shown again and again, when people pout after they have gotten feedback. I think it is time to put aside personal dislike, when people want to label...since they are the kinder people, of course...and ffs, be consistent...and hold the hysteria.

[thatgirl08]

Also, as far as some points made earlier about letting it all hang out as far as accusations were concerned, wasn't Hyde Park closed in part because of too many people saying exactly what they think about another person and then not letting it go? I'm all for brutal honesty, but if it makes people hate each other in or out of an argument, is it worth it? Yes, because then you know where everyone stands. Usually.

It's not like it's exactly a secret anyway.

[Tau]

People just need to take a deep breath and not take the internet so seriously:rolleyes:

[Shosh]

People just need to take a deep breath and not take the internet so seriously:rolleyes:

There comes a time when people have to take a stand and not tolerate such belligerent behaviour from the same people time after time.

Some are just so uncivilized and lacking in social skills, hence they feel at ease with launching attacks upon others from behind their computer screens.

Thankfully most here are not of their ilk.

[Tau]

I just read the article and it kinda seems like a giant thumb suck to me - the author of this article is seriously, seriously reaching. I am fairly new to Dims so perhaps have not been exposed to these supposed bullies but seriously, if somebody is annoying you or you find them offensive just tell them off and move on with your life - calling them a bully and turning the situation into some kind of playground drama is really pathetic. Dims is a forum created for adults by adults - why don't we all just act our age, grow a little back bone and, when occasions arise where we feel 'bullied' or whatever, deal with that individual then and there instead of sulking about it and making pitiful innuendos.

[BeautifulPoeticDisaster]

:]



Clearly over it.



Yeah, saw that. Just surprised that she was all 'yeah I'm bully and I don't care' since I have seriously never seen a post of hers before. Like where are these mean posts? just.. interesting.


It's sarcasm, lol. Angel is one of the sweetest people around!

[Shosh]

I just read the article and it kinda seems like a giant thumb suck to me - the author of this article is seriously, seriously reaching. I am fairly new to Dims so perhaps have not been exposed to these supposed bullies but seriously, if somebody is annoying you or you find them offensive just tell them off and move on with your life - calling them a bully and turning the situation into some kind of playground drama is really pathetic. Dims is a forum created for adults by adults - why don't we all just act our age, grow a little back bone and, when occasions arise where we feel 'bullied' or whatever, deal with that individual then and there instead of sulking about it and making pitiful innuendos.

You are right, you are fairly new, not that that is a bad thing, but as such you are probably not privy to the history of the outrageous behaviour of some.

Please do not dismiss how some feel about this.

[LillyBBBW]

This is dramatic...overly so.

You are talking about what is mostly a matter of things people do not agree on, and sometimes get super sassy with the delivery of opinion. New people, who truly are not trolls and have dipped a toe into the Dims waters, and have had strong people grill them....now, that can sometimes be a lil scary...lol

We have people who are using the word bully, and have also bullied....using their definition. Being better at holding people to their words, does not mean that they are being bullied. This gets so silly. It has been shown again and again, when people pout after they have gotten feedback. I think it is time to put aside personal dislike, when people want to label...since they are the kinder people, of course...and ffs, be consistent...and hold the hysteria.

It appears at times that you in particular have a tendency to ascribe the word 'creepy' to people in a heavy handed manner that at least to my perception seems over the top. If you don't say it outright it is definitley implied in that not so subtle way. I would say a major part of the time I personally tend to agree with your position in things but I'm hesitant to add my voice because I want to distance myself from that particular strain of thought. Clearly you have a right to your opinion and enough people hoot and hollar behind it to implicate there are many who agree. This opinion does straddle the very fine line between personal opinion and personal attack in my view. There are people here whom I believe are assholes. They know who they are, but I would never post it here because it's a violation of the rules. You seem to be able to bypass the rules however due to that gift of subtelty you have along with the cheering mob behind you. It does come off as bullying and it does give the impression that your talents allow you to get away with something others are punished immediately for. You are entitled to your opinion however many feel you are not entitled to attack anyone personally which your posts at times appear to do.

[BeautifulPoeticDisaster]

with something others are punished immediately for.

Some of us are even punished for defending ourselves. I can't count how many times my posts have been deleted for defending MY actions and thoughts in response to other people.

I do think some people here get away with everything....but I tend to stay in the back-ground and for the most part, out of drama.

The question then becomes, who is responsible for letting some get away with blatantly breaking the rules whilst others are punished for minor infractions?

[LillyBBBW]

Some of us are even punished for defending ourselves. I can't count how many times my posts have been deleted for defending MY actions and thoughts in response to other people.

I do think some people here get away with everything....but I tend to stay in the back-ground and for the most part, out of drama.

The question then becomes, who is responsible for letting some get away with blatantly breaking the rules whilst others are punished for minor infractions?

I don't know, but there has been talk of people getting away with murder here for a while and my name has been pulled out of the hat a few times as well. I admit, I've done it a time or two and gotten away with it. In my defense it was mostly used against people who were on their way to being banned anyway so I figured what the heck!

[TraciJo67]

I just read the article and it kinda seems like a giant thumb suck to me - the author of this article is seriously, seriously reaching. I am fairly new to Dims so perhaps have not been exposed to these supposed bullies but seriously, if somebody is annoying you or you find them offensive just tell them off and move on with your life - calling them a bully and turning the situation into some kind of playground drama is really pathetic. Dims is a forum created for adults by adults - why don't we all just act our age, grow a little back bone and, when occasions arise where we feel 'bullied' or whatever, deal with that individual then and there instead of sulking about it and making pitiful innuendos.

Agreed :bow:

I can tell you now that this isn't going to compute for the professional victims. They'll continue to rant on and on about how unfair it all is, and how "some" get carte blanche to treat others badly (and in the same breath, will reassure the moderators that they're doing a wonderful job, and won't see any kind of disconnect at all between the two concepts). I've seen shitty behavior by most of the people posting in this thread, myself included. And I've seen random acts of kindness and displays of empathy and a lot of humor and intelligent insights, again by the same people. We all have a bit of the bully in us, especially if/when we feel that our personal values have been violated. There are very few people here -- none have participated in this thread, naturally -- who I feel are delicate wraiths, incapable of defending themselves. But I do see a lot of people who seem incapable of owning the darker side of their nature, or of acknowledging that they've behaved badly themselves. This "I'm a nice person and you're a pile of shit" argument is overly simplistic, dramatic, and delusional. We're all nice. We're all cruel. Varying degrees.

[Jack Burton]

This thread is a great example of why I am, and will continue to remain, a lurker here.

[Mini]

This thread is a great example of why I am, and will continue to remain, a lurker here.

Also, you don't have to post to view the Paysite board.

[TraciJo67]

I don't know, but there has been talk of people getting away with murder here for a while and my name has been pulled out of the hat a few times as well. I admit, I've done it a time or two and gotten away with it. In my defense it was mostly used against people who were on their way to being banned anyway so I figured what the heck!

Lilly, I think that I'm one of the people who said that some of your posts could be construed as bullying. For the record, I don't think that you're a bully at all. I was trying to make a point, and probably did so badly. What I think is that you're an insightful woman with a powerful gift of using language in a very persuasive manner. This can intimidate people who are less capable of expressing themselves clearly and succintly. I'm not implying that you're at fault, either. I'm just stating a fact: You are a force to be reckoned with, yourself.

As for myself, I have this need to "win" that sometimes overshadows my otherwise good sense. I know this about myself, and in my personal life, I try to temper it. I'm not always so careful on an internet message board, though I know that I should be. That is my failing. I know it. I don't mean to be thoughtless or callous, I just don't always think before I blurt whatever comes to mind, most particularly when the issue is a hot button one for me. I also have very little patience for stealth bombers and those who are experts at subtle, covert forms of verbal abuse. The kind of person, in other words, who will say something that is very mean, cloak it in a few vagaries, and ... bombs away. If he/she is called on the behavior ... well <indignant posture> I didn't MEAN YOU ... I didn't SAY it was YOU ... what makes you think it was about YOU? ... I didn't mean that at all, it was YOU who misconstrued the message, etc etc. This kind of behavior pushes my buttons, and I don't react well to it.

[LoveBHMS]

I also have very little patience for stealth bombers and those who are experts at subtle, covert forms of verbal abuse.

*L*

And yes, i'm laughing at this quote.

[KHayes666]

It appears at times that you in particular have a tendency to ascribe the word 'creepy' to people in a heavy handed manner that at least to my perception seems over the top. If you don't say it outright it is definitley implied in that not so subtle way. I would say a major part of the time I personally tend to agree with your position in things but I'm hesitant to add my voice because I want to distance myself from that particular strain of thought. Clearly you have a right to your opinion and enough people hoot and hollar behind it to implicate there are many who agree. This opinion does straddle the very fine line between personal opinion and personal attack in my view. There are people here whom I believe are assholes. They know who they are, but I would never post it here because it's a violation of the rules. You seem to be able to bypass the rules however due to that gift of subtelty you have along with the cheering mob behind you. It does come off as bullying and it does give the impression that your talents allow you to get away with something others are punished immediately for. You are entitled to your opinion however many feel you are not entitled to attack anyone personally which your posts at times appear to do.

Bolded because I too feel this way, but its not just her. I can't say how many times I've seen a guy who's first post is "I like big bellies" or something vague and IMMEDIATELY is attacked by the same people, all because he expressed what he liked.

Is that the kind of atmosphere we want here, where people are afraid to post because they don't want to be mocked or attacked? I know Mini was joking when told the other guy to not be a "pussy", but generally that's still the attitude around here.

Just looking at most of the posts on this forum, it goes from Mutual Admiriations Society to Lets Gang Up On Someone For No Good Reason with a snap of the finger.

I'm all in favor of putting a good shellacking on someone who's being an outright a-hole and saying overly creepy things, but for someone who expresses a love for something abnormal doesn't give people the automatic right to attack them.

I've already done what I've said I was going to do, I suggest that others also find ways to do something about the bullying.

[LillyBBBW]

Lilly, I think that I'm one of the people who said that some of your posts could be construed as bullying. For the record, I don't think that you're a bully at all. I was trying to make a point, and probably did so badly. What I think is that you're an insightful woman with a powerful gift of using language in a very persuasive manner. This can intimidate people who are less capable of expressing themselves clearly and succintly. I'm not implying that you're at fault, either. I'm just stating a fact: You are a force to be reckoned with, yourself.

As for myself, I have this need to "win" that sometimes overshadows my otherwise good sense. I know this about myself, and in my personal life, I try to temper it. I'm not always so careful on an internet message board, though I know that I should be. That is my failing. I know it. I don't mean to be thoughtless or callous, I just don't always think before I blurt whatever comes to mind, most particularly when the issue is a hot button one for me. I also have very little patience for stealth bombers and those who are experts at subtle, covert forms of verbal abuse. The kind of person, in other words, who will say something that is very mean, cloak it in a few vagaries, and ... bombs away. If he/she is called on the behavior ... well <indignant posture> I didn't MEAN YOU ... I didn't SAY it was YOU ... what makes you think it was about YOU? ... I didn't mean that at all, it was YOU who misconstrued the message, etc etc. This kind of behavior pushes my buttons, and I don't react well to it.

Bleh, and I'm about to engage in the same sad behavior just now. When I was talking about being called a bully I really didn't mean you as the accuser. In fact I had no idea you had ever done so, so now I'm going to have to go look and see if I can sputter indignantly there. I was mainly talking about Ernest Nagel and T Devil. Didn't want to mention names but it's probably better at this juncture. The other two people, Superodalisque and Swordchick, were making broad generalized statements about bullying in a thread where I was the main antagonist so I assumed it was an indirect way of addressing me though of course I'm not certain. Saying their names seemed unfair under the circumstances but if I'm going to have people suspicious anyway I may as well narrow it down some. Anyone else who's been calling me a bully can continue to do so, I haven't caught on yet.

[TraciJo67]

Bleh, and I'm about to engage in the same sad behavior just now. When I was talking about being called a bully I really didn't mean you as the accuser. In fact I had no idea you had ever done so, so now I'm going to have to go look and see if I can sputter indignantly there. I was mainly talking about Ernest Nagel and T Devil. Didn't want to mention names but it's probably better at this juncture. The other two people, Superodalisque and Swordchick, were making broad generalized statements about bullying in a thread where I was the main antagonist so I assumed it was an indirect way of addressing me though of course I'm not certain. Saying their names seemed unfair under the circumstances but if I'm going to have people suspicious anyway I may as well narrow it down some. Anyone else who's been calling me a bully can continue to do so, I haven't caught on yet.

I'm not suspicious, Lilly -- by now, you probably have found the thread that I was referring to :D

[BothGunsBlazing]

on another note Timberwolf stole my lunch money and switched around my letters the other day.

it was fucked up.

[LillyBBBW]

I'm not suspicious, Lilly -- by now, you probably have found the thread that I was referring to :D

LOL I actually went to look and see if there were any threads out there where you called me out directly as a bully. Sadly there aren't any other than the small inferences you've made here which I completely agree with so there's no fire. This is a very tough argument to make because I've long felt it was unfair to penalize people for expressing their views and maybe mispelling a word here and there, or not having the language skills to receive an honorary degree at Harvard. At the same time I don't like the idea of people being silenced for the opposite reason. Big words can be intimidating but that doesn't automatically mean the person speaking is 'right' or has more right to express themselvs. We can't stop people from feeling that way I guess but still, we can't help the way we express ourselves. Some here are complaining about these differences alone which I personally think are non issues. I can't help it if I don't know what onomatopoeia means without looking it up in the dictionary. It is hard to sort those sorts of accusations out from the specific things that are worth talking about though, especially when no one will say exactly what those things are. I'm with you in that I think people should come right out and say what specifically is bothersome and not just accuse the person of using language that is underwhelming/intimidating.

[Surlysomething]

There is a major motion picture in the works, Thread Bully, starring Russell Crowe, Roseanne Barr, John Goodman, Meryl Streep and Harry Dean Stanton as "Gramps."


hehe! HDS isn't in enough flicks imo.

[LillyBBBW]

on another note Timberwolf stole my lunch money and switched around my letters the other day.

it was fucked up.

Hehehe, Goth Buns? :p

[BothGunsBlazing]

Hehehe, Goth Buns? :p

I was chased down by many a Twilight fan on that day.

[cinnamitch]

LOL I actually went to look and see if there were any threads out there where you called me out directly as a bully. Sadly there aren't any other than the small inferences you've made here which I completely agree with so there's no fire. This is a very tough argument to make because I've long felt it was unfair to penalize people for expressing their views and maybe mispelling a word here and there, or not having the language skills to receive an honorary degree at Harvard. At the same time I don't like the idea of people being silenced for the opposite reason. Big words can be intimidating but that doesn't automatically mean the person speaking is 'right' or has more right to express themselvs. We can't stop people from feeling that way I guess but still, we can't help the way we express ourselves. Some here are complaining about these differences alone which I personally think are non issues. I can't help it if I don't know what onomatopoeia means without looking it up in the dictionary. It is hard to sort those sorts of accusations out from the specific things that are worth talking about though, especially when no one will say exactly what those things are. I'm with you in that I think people should come right out and say what specifically is bothersome and not just accuse the person of using language that is underwhelming/intimidating.

There you go with that Pee thing again. Just spelling it differently. No matter i still have to go to the bathroom..Thank you Lilly

[BarbBBW]

wow , I had 3 pages of reading for catching up on this thread. I am glad I had my coffee here with me as I read it all.
I do agree, That there are many times,lately, I haven't posted because of the chance of "arguments and personal attacks" on my opinion. And It is true, I put it out there and expect opinions on it, but it certainly almost always does turn into a personal attack on me. So, I have learned to keep it to a minimum. Post to a minimum and also pics to a minimum.
When I first started DIMS, i didnt know a site for size acceptance could be so judgmental of others views. I went in head first and couldnt wait for others to give opinions and their variations on my idea's and thoughts. I was so excited to hear what others thought and felt. But boy did that SUCK! I was quickly "put in my place" by several people.
So you live and learn and as you go, try to keep your mouth shut, as not to start any arguments. Unless, there is something you see, where you just can not keep quiet anymore and need to say what you need to say. Then its,....:doh:

[LillyBBBW]

There you go with that Pee thing again. Just spelling it differently. No matter i still have to go to the bathroom..Thank you Lilly

See, you've made me laugh again and now *I* have to pee. :D

[TraciJo67]

Whether you found my point subtle or not - I could care less

I think that the phrase you're probably looking for is "I couldn't care less", Tony. And, stellar comeback! Lots of information, lots of motivation for me to acknowledge your viewpoint (being that you've fleshed it out so well, that is) and to perhaps work on redressing any issues that you may have with me :rolleyes:

FWIW, I don't think we've said more than a few words to each other in the years that I've been at Dims. I honestly haven't a clue what has you so angry at me, that you'd all but scream, full caps, that I'm a FEMALE BITCH (DOG) with opinions that have as much worth as a puddle of piss. I don't know you, and have never identified you as a person that I've had any problems with. I'd actually like to know why you're so hostile. Here, or PM, if you're willing.

[Webmaster]

...What were you hoping to accomplish, Conrad?....

I felt the article (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/532829/online_forum_etiquette_how_to_deal.html?cat=9) provided a very good description of the forum bully syndrome, and educating oneself on the topic would be universally beneficial.

[cinnamitch]

See, you've made me laugh again and now *I* have to pee. :D

Meet ya over on that pee in the bed posting:p

[Ernest Nagel]

"I believe no man was ever scolded out of his sins." ~ William Cowper

I believe this ^ is true. People don't change their basic nature after a certain age. Why expect otherwise or assume someone can be chided or shamed into something else?

That said, any life-choice or behavior is as valid as another if it works for you. Being an asshole, lurker, bully, victim, etc. is anyone's right to choose. On some level being who we are gets us what we want. No doubt some aspects of behaving as what has yet to be clearly defined as a "bully" works for some people. It gets them what they want, be that rep, confidence, satisfaction or most likely the sense of being The Righteous Avenger. Why sweat the labels? I think online and elsewhere this is probably as good a rule as any? v

"A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult." Proverbs 12:16 NIV

Or, if you prefer, "Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears." ~ Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

If you can't implement the above advice and you're thin-skinned just use the "ignore" button for me or anyone else who scrapes your paint. Some people are what I call PPW (Panties Pre-Wadded). They're gonna go off with little or no provocation and whether that expresses as bully, victim or clever snarker is just based on what works for them. It's usually not even personal; just a coping mechanism and you were a convenient target. Find one that works for you. Life is too short to let someone who doesn't care about you screw up anyone's life but their own. :)

One other passing thought. Maybe G-d invented bullies so assholes would have someone to feel superior to? :D

[exile in thighville]

You are right, you are fairly new, not that that is a bad thing, but as such you are probably not privy to the history of the outrageous behaviour of some.

Please do not dismiss how some feel about this.

I'm privy and I thought this "article" of cliche assumptions was ass. Much better cyberbullying piece that's based on facts rather than generalizations and surmisings (and actually brings up disturbing, newsworthy examples) here: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html?pagewanted=all

[TraciJo67]

I'm privy and I thought this "article" of cliche assumptions was ass. Much better cyberbullying piece that's based on facts rather than generalizations and surmisings (and actually brings up disturbing, newsworthy examples) here: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html?pagewanted=all

Yes.

I don't think anyone could read this article and not come away with a new sense of perspective.

[Spanky]

Bullies.

This has been an interesting thread, Conrad. That you for starting it.

I have always found real bullying to be carried out by those who are looking for attention. Inwardly lonely. Outwardly projecting themselves not by building themselves up, but by tearing others down.

We have created a Dims-speak here. Many have learned how to write in such a way to make sure they are sounding as up on all of the new language created to be acceptable to minorities, gays, feminists, whites, Russians, old, young, etc etc.

I always tremble when a young man or woman, fat or thin, FA or BBW, or just a new person, comes to Dims, full of vim and vigor, ready to contribute, and they use a term, unknowingly, that is deemed hurtful or insensitive to a group here. Maybe there was a 5000 post thread on a term or comment that they are not aware of. They don't know. Most times, it would be forgiven, not even mentioned, hell, probably not even important as compared to the question, thread topic or topic at hand.

But bullies come in and put the smack-down. Yes, the bully will always go after the easy prey, the weak, the defenseless, the young, the unknowing. That is what they do. And they do it well.

Oh, and bullies always have a Toadie. Always. Look for the bully post, and three or four posts down, there is the Toadie with the "yeah, yeah, good one boss, good one."

This is a female dominated board. This is my opinion based on looking at the most popular people in the top 100 by measure of rep points. Those top 100 probably represent a VERY large total of the overall posts on the boards. Would anyone say that many of the pushes and pulls, gives and takes, tend to be on a more female social plane? Men and women do not handle social situations the same way. They just don't. Females are much better socialized then men. Again, generally, and speaking from my experience with men and women. Swimming in this soup sometimes, I really feel that I am out of my home playing field. I am not crying foul or am I even upset about it. It is very interesting to see how things weave their way to a conclusion. I tend to sit back and NOT post many times for the sake of "not getting into it" or "why bother". Maybe I should speak up more. Fight the fights that need fighting.

[LoveBHMS]

It just kills me, the number of "people are just too sensitive" posts that have been made here.

It's not about others being too sensitive, it's about people needing to take responsibility for their own behaviour. Does somebody have the right to be a jerk? Yeah, I guess legally they do but it doesn't mean they should or that in exercising their given right to harass and ridicule and shout down others they're not making this forum a worse place.

I suspect most, if not all, of the people who engage in this behaviour feel, or are, somewhat powerless and unhappy in real life. If you have to expend so much time and energy being mean on the internet, your life can't be all that good. And if you derive an immense amount of enjoyment from giving others a beatdown and then lowing about people who play "professional victim"--I think you should be taking a look at your own behaviour.

There are some posters here who clearly get off on being rude and insulting others and oh-so-cleverly doing it just within the bounds of not getting banned. I'm referring to those who get on the Weight Board and comment about posts there when they've already self-identified as not being fetishists.

I'm referring to people like TraciJo who pointedly go out of their way to respond to posts on the "Open Letters" thread when I bitch about my job they type up lengthy tirades about how I must suck at my job and must hate people just because I complained about something when complaining is the WHOLE POINT of the "Open Letters" thread. That's not me being a professional victim, it's you being rude.

[exile in thighville]

I'm clearly in the "people are too sensitive" camp but it all depends, really. A number of people here can't tell the difference between someone calling bullshit on them (shooting down a bullshit opinion or statement and arguing to the contrary, sometimes seen as "controversial") and harrassing/bullying them. That's why I think it's rather the opposite of the case in the article Conrad posted -- the "victim" is the one who justifies their claim via people rallying around them, accusing foul play when what they mean is they were forced to go back and form an argument based on something beyond what they perceive as conventional wisdom. My own meter for posting is - contrary to some belief - not if someone will get pissed off but if someone will laugh. I did it for the lulz.

[TraciJo67]

It just kills me, the number of "people are just too sensitive" posts that have been made here.

It's not about others being too sensitive, it's about people needing to take responsibility for their own behaviour. Does somebody have the right to be a jerk? Yeah, I guess legally they do but it doesn't mean they should or that in exercising their given right to harass and ridicule and shout down others they're not making this forum a worse place.

I suspect most, if not all, of the people who engage in this behaviour feel, or are, somewhat powerless and unhappy in real life. If you have to expend so much time and energy being mean on the internet, your life can't be all that good. And if you derive an immense amount of enjoyment from giving others a beatdown and then lowing about people who play "professional victim"--I think you should be taking a look at your own behaviour.

There are some posters here who clearly get off on being rude and insulting others and oh-so-cleverly doing it just within the bounds of not getting banned. I'm referring to those who get on the Weight Board and comment about posts there when they've already self-identified as not being fetishists.

I'm referring to people like TraciJo who pointedly go out of their way to respond to posts on the "Open Letters" thread when I bitch about my job they type up lengthy tirades about how I must suck at my job and must hate people just because I complained about something when complaining is the WHOLE POINT of the "Open Letters" thread. That's not me being a professional victim, it's you being rude.

LoveBHMS, we were once on very friendly terms. And then Cankle-gate came along, and I didn't support you. I have to wonder if this is grudge-related, at least in part. FWIW, I wasn't actively trying to be rude to you. I read what you wrote, and it annoyed me because I read it as very hostile towards the people who ensure that you have a job. And it seems like every time I respond to you, you find some way to sneak in that I feel entitled or above you or that I'm flashing my enormous wealth. I work with HOMELESS PEOPLE. That's my job. My client base -- the people that I'm answerable to, those who ensure that I continue to receive my 'enormous' paycheck (because it's generally known that people in social services make the huge $$). I don't think a job could be much more humbling than that, and there are many people who would quite enthusiastically place 'waitress' many pegs above a willingness to sit directly across from someone who spent the last few weeks sleeping under a bridge abutment and hasn't had access to a toothbrush or a bar of soap in all that time. You may think that I'm a shitty excuse for a person at times, and perhaps there is some validity to your feelings. But I will say this: I have a very strong sense that I chose a profession in which it is my job to serve the people who come to me in need of assistance. You serve a different crowd, but serve is the functional word here, and I was actually appalled at the language that you used to describe your patrons (i.e., 'assplant where I put you' and 'wait to be fucking seated'). You seem to think that because the venting thread is about venting, nobody should express an opinion about the subject matter in which you chose to vent. I disagree.

And finally, this: Right or wrong, I cannot empathize with people who feel victimized and bullied on a message board. Anyone who feels this way has many choices, one of which would be to simply turn off the computer. I cannot -- will not -- empathize because I have what *I* feel is a perspective of what is truly worthy of agonizing about, and someone calling me a bitch on the internet is most decidedly not one of them. All in all, I feel that people who are *this* upset about internet bullying have luxuries beyond imagining for roughly 90% of the rest of the world. I fully admit that my perspective is informed by who I am, what I do for a living, and what I've seen beyond the well-fed borders of my own world. But there it is. Perspective. Mine.

ETA: I've never thought of you as a professional victim. You weren't at all who I had in mind. You, like me, pretty much tend to say whatever is on your mind, directly, and without pretty words wrapped around the pointed barbs. And you have no problem with defending your perspective, nor have I ever seen you claim victim.

[Mathias]

I can think of three right off the bat. :rolleyes:

[LoveBHMS]

Perspective. Mine.

Quit bringing up Canklegate, because it's nothing more than an attempted rallying cry to remind people of my supposed biases. There is no grudge here, you need to own your behaviour.

People vent about their jobs all the time. Get over it. You can be a teacher venting about rude parents, a doctor venting about annoying patients, an executive venting about a demanding or late paying client, and a bartender venting about the bad behaviour of the general public. While I loved the sneaky attack on my job (your reference to putting 'waitress' above your noble willingness to sit near somebody who lived under a bridge) you need to shut it. This economy sucks and I'm lucky to have a job; I do my job well and those of us with a good work ethic will always work hard at any job whether it's menial or not.

Your last paragraph is just breathtaking in its nastiness. You can't feel sympathy for anyone who feels bullied, and that's your green light to continue on with your behaviour.

[TraciJo67]

Perspective. Mine.

Quit bringing up Canklegate, because it's nothing more than an attempted rallying cry to remind people of my supposed biases. There is no grudge here, you need to own your behaviour.

People vent about their jobs all the time. Get over it. You can be a teacher venting about rude parents, a doctor venting about annoying patients, an executive venting about a demanding or late paying client, and a bartender venting about the bad behaviour of the general public. While I loved the sneaky attack on my job (your reference to putting 'waitress' above your noble willingness to sit near somebody who lived under a bridge) you need to shut it. This economy sucks and I'm lucky to have a job; I do my job well and those of us with a good work ethic will always work hard at any job whether it's menial or not.

Your last paragraph is just breathtaking in its nastiness. You can't feel sympathy for anyone who feels bullied, and that's your green light to continue on with your behaviour.

OK, you're going to see only what you want to see.

First of all, Canklegate: When was the last time I brought it up?!? I bring it up here because I do believe it has some bearing on why (I feel) that you are constantly misconstruing what I'm trying to say. You made a mistake, and something that you said in private got out. How you've conducted yourself since that time is, in my mind, admirable. It was not meant to garner any support. I don't have a pack of supporters, and never did.

Second, I wanted you to understand some background behind *why* I reacted so strongly to your post. Again, you're reading far more into it than what I intended. And no, I don't need to 'shut it'. I didn't like what you said about your customers, and I explained why.

I can understand why you feel the way you do about my final paragraph, but that is how I feel and I doubt I could change it even if I wanted to (which I don't).

Yes, people vent. People also have to accept that others may not be very understanding about that. I pictured myself in your restaurant that night I read what you wrote, being seated by a smiling hostess who was actually seething with resentment because I asked for a different table (which I often do because I'm sensitive to having my 2-year-old seated next to a quiet, childless couple, for example) and I cringed at the thought. I'd also cringe if a doctor started 'venting' about patients that I can identify with (i.e, treating fat people) and if he/she did it where I saw or heard it, I'd probably remark on that too.

[mossystate]

It appears at times that you in particular have a tendency to ascribe the word 'creepy' to people in a heavy handed manner that at least to my perception seems over the top. If you don't say it outright it is definitley implied in that not so subtle way. I would say a major part of the time I personally tend to agree with your position in things but I'm hesitant to add my voice because I want to distance myself from that particular strain of thought. Clearly you have a right to your opinion and enough people hoot and hollar behind it to implicate there are many who agree. This opinion does straddle the very fine line between personal opinion and personal attack in my view. There are people here whom I believe are assholes. They know who they are, but I would never post it here because it's a violation of the rules. You seem to be able to bypass the rules however due to that gift of subtelty you have along with the cheering mob behind you. It does come off as bullying and it does give the impression that your talents allow you to get away with something others are punished immediately for. You are entitled to your opinion however many feel you are not entitled to attack anyone personally which your posts at times appear to do.

I think a lot of this, what your saying, comes down to words used. I am really not all that subtle. I am sitting here thinking of times where I have said the word, or implied it. Just tell me what words I should use. If someone comes out and pretty much only says, " oh, baby, guess what I am holding in my hand ", yeah, I will probably say that is creepy. Your take on such people might be different, but that does not make me a ' bully '. It's as if the response to such people is more offensive to you than their actions. That's fine, but, I know that that is not bullying on my part. I don't say things so that my mob...oy...comes in to bolster me. So, please, from now on, if I defend another, or call a creep...creepy...anybody who even kind of likes me, do not post after me. If someone is treating another in a creepy manner, I am more than ok telling them they are being creepy. For some reason, more than with others, my doing it strikes a nerve. Maybe creepy is wanted/protected out here, that really could be part of it. Some of how this is viewed has much to do with your filter, and the personalties you like, or don't like. Normal, but, I will not own the label you are trying to slap on me ( and that sounded more dramatic than I meant it...just speaking my truth ). As for you not telling people they are asshole. Good lord, woman...and I say this with more understanding than you show me...you are wonderful at it, in your own way. My way is more splashy...yours is more like a surgeons scalpel. I admire both.

[kayrae]

Geez, that story link is heartbreaking. And that troll... wow!

I'm privy and I thought this "article" of cliche assumptions was ass. Much better cyberbullying piece that's based on facts rather than generalizations and surmisings (and actually brings up disturbing, newsworthy examples) here: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html?pagewanted=all

[TraciJo67]

A very wise person recently said something that gave me pause. At one point or another, we've all fit the bill as a forum bully. What is the worse thing that can happen by just acknowledging that? Will (the general) we melt ala water-drenched Wicked Witch style? Must we pretend that we're *always* kind and generous and never petty or rude?

OK, LoveBHMS ... here it is: I was rude to you. It wasn't my intention to bully you, and I think you're stretching for that category, but I can definitely see why you felt that it was rude. I should have just let you vent. I'm sorry that I didn't. I've come up with a whole list of reasons for why I said what I did, but I never acknowledged that yes, it could very definitely also be categorized as rude, all rationalizations aside.

I'd love to see a few other people own up to their own bad behavior, but I'm not optimistic. I'd be very happy to be proven wrong, though.

[Paquito]

I jump on the bandwagon alot, and I get very defensive if anyone tries to challenge me. I tend to do anything to try to get my point across, and I can get nasty in the process.

[Ernest Nagel]

A very wise person recently said something that gave me pause. At one point or another, we've all fit the bill as a forum bully. What is the worse thing that can happen by just acknowledging that? Will (the general) we melt ala water-drenched Wicked Witch style? Must we pretend that we're *always* kind and generous and never petty or rude?

OK, LoveBHMS ... here it is: I was rude to you. It wasn't my intention to bully you, and I think you're stretching for that category, but I can definitely see why you felt that it was rude. I should have just let you vent. I'm sorry that I didn't. I've come up with a whole list of reasons for why I said what I did, but I never acknowledged that yes, it could very definitely also be categorized as rude, all rationalizations aside.

I'd love to see a few other people own up to their own bad behavior, but I'm not optimistic. I'd be very happy to be proven wrong, though.

I'm more than willing to acknowledge I have been a bastard coated bastard with bastard filling to many people here and will likely be so again. When I was originally here with the hope of finding someone to possibly share my life with I know I was more sensitive to perceived snarks and provocations. I don't know how much that factors in some people's inappropriate responses but my male ego always seems a little more tender in the presence of attractive women. Now that I've withdrawn from any notion of romance my image concerns me very little. I don't know if that will make me a greater or lesser jerk?

I think it's a rare and fortunate individual who has a truly accurate perception of themselves. Those things we find deeply offensive in others tend to be the things we most fear seeing in ourselves. I'm inclined to believe that only with the complete annihilation of "self" can we ever become truly harmless in the world. Unfortunately I don't have that kind of commitment or time. Changing my siggy though to remind me of something important about humility. :bow:

[SocialbFly]

Perspective. Mine.

Quit bringing up Canklegate, because it's nothing more than an attempted rallying cry to remind people of my supposed biases.

Only we don't have to suppose, you put it out there in black and white...so, i personally will always wonder what your TRUE reason for being here is.

[LillyBBBW]

I think a lot of this, what your saying, comes down to words used. I am really not all that subtle. I am sitting here thinking of times where I have said the word, or implied it. Just tell me what words I should use. If someone comes out and pretty much only says, " oh, baby, guess what I am holding in my hand ", yeah, I will probably say that is creepy. Your take on such people might be different, but that does not make me a ' bully '. It's as if the response to such people is more offensive to you than their actions. That's fine, but, I know that that is not bullying on my part. I don't say things so that my mob...oy...comes in to bolster me. So, please, from now on, if I defend another, or call a creep...creepy...anybody who even kind of likes me, do not post after me. If someone is treating another in a creepy manner, I am more than ok telling them they are being creepy. For some reason, more than with others, my doing it strikes a nerve. Maybe creepy is wanted/protected out here, that really could be part of it. Some of how this is viewed has much to do with your filter, and the personalties you like, or don't like. Normal, but, I will not own the label you are trying to slap on me ( and that sounded more dramatic than I meant it...just speaking my truth ). As for you not telling people they are asshole. Good lord, woman...and I say this with more understanding than you show me...you are wonderful at it, in your own way. My way is more splashy...yours is more like a surgeons scalpel. I admire both.

I don't know mossy. Yes it's true that other people do it too, including me. I just know that many people have made good sport of coming in here and accusing you of being bullyish wheras others who do it remain relatively unmentioned. There has to be a reason why you, personally, get singled out and the others aren't particularly bothersome. Since no one else seems to be willing to go there I thought I might speculate as to the reason according to what I have observed. The only thing I can point to is possibly the atmoshpere of your posts. The idea that calling someone creepy is hitting a nerve is dead on accurate. If someone called you creepy I'd venture a guess that it would get on your nerves too. The concept that it crosses the line is legitimate and bringing it up is not an indication that the accuser has an ulterior motive or harbours a friendship with or an affinity for the views of the other person. That is not always true and is a handy example of one of those instances I mentioned where you tend to asign creepiness where none may be present.

Where it gets murky is in the subtlety. In one thread in particular there was some cat-calling back and fourth in which you, I and several others were having fun at the expense of a one armed poster that went on for four pages. One person, male, made a bold statement and got a PM from a Mod. While chatting with him via PM he became very upset and felt singled out because as usual, most of the commentary in there was perpetrated by women, myself included, and he was male and felt not a part of the 'club'. He took it personally before I pointed out to him what his problem was: He is too direct. He has to be more passive aggressive humorous in his posts in order for them to work and remain. Unfiortunately my male friend is always direct. I've never known him to operate well in a passive aggressive manner. I can barely keep up at times myself. I'm using this as an example of how you, and I, can get away with saying things that others can not and there may be some resentfulness there. Is it fair or unfair? That to me is what appears to be the question.

[thatgirl08]

This Canklegate thing is insanely retarded.

[Mathias]

http://mohel.dk/grafik/andet/Someone_Is_Wrong_On_The_Internet.jpg

[Surlysomething]

Only we don't have to suppose, you put it out there in black and white...so, i personally will always wonder what your TRUE reason for being here is.


I think her name kind of says it all. ;)

[thatgirl08]

http://mohel.dk/grafik/andet/Someone_Is_Wrong_On_The_Internet.jpg

I was seriously looking for this picture for this thread.

[SocialbFly]

I think we do have our own personal bullies here, most boards have a couple of well known ones...this is no different than real life, we all have to deal with people who are great at pointing but not so great at looking in the mirror...the best way to handle them is the ignore button when it gets to the point you want to strangle them for always feeling so put upon by general society or that their opinions truly hold more merit than yours. I always love the ones that bemoan all the support others have yet feel they have none, all the while whipping the thread to a frenzy....

I can do with less drama.

ignore button does work.

[LillyBBBW]

http://mohel.dk/grafik/andet/Someone_Is_Wrong_On_The_Internet.jpg

I was seriously looking for this picture for this thread.

Yep I know! It never gets old. :p

[SocialbFly]

This Canklegate thing is insanely retarded.

I may be taking this wrong and am certainly willing to be wrong....


BUT i bet your thoughts would be different if YOUR feelings were hurt. This is my safe place, if i want to hear that shit, i can go hear it on the street.

[thatgirl08]

I may be taking this wrong and am certainly willing to be wrong....


BUT i bet your thoughts would be different if YOUR feelings were hurt. This is my safe place, if i want to hear that shit, i can go hear it on the street.

I get that but I just think it's time to move on. It's been a really long time since it happened.

[mergirl]

Need to post before this thread gets closed down. ;)
Hmm.. if you feel someone is bullying you just tell them to fuck off. Call them on it. Right there and then, instead of skirting around the issue and then holding a grudge, thats just silly. In saying that some people are a lot more sensitive than others, and a post disagreement is seen as a personal attack.
As for everyone on this post i will just bully you all in Scottish:

Ahhl pan yer coupons in ye scunnerin bunch o' crabbit, sleekit cowerin shower o' numpties. am gonna battter ye awe n cowp ye in a miden. ye's aw hiv coupins like skelped erses an deserve tae git leatherd! GD is ma honers btw so awa tae fuck!!! :mad:
:happy:

[mossystate]

[QUOTE]I don't know mossy. Yes it's true that other people do it too, including me. I just know that many people have made good sport of coming in here and accusing you of being bullyish wheras others who do it remain relatively unmentioned. There has to be a reason why you, personally, get singled out and the others aren't particularly bothersome.

I am afraid that whatever I say is going to be seen as me thinking I am some godlike creature...but, no..jebus..no..lol. I think that with me, I am more larger than life with the humor attached to my zeroing in on people. If I were more ' academic ' about things, I would not be all that much different. I know many have said that I know how to get, quickly, to the guts of a situation. That is more noticeable. I could change the way I go at it, and I would then be seen as less of a ' bully '. It would not change what is being said. It would be like holding a tea cup, pinky out, saying things in a more clever manner. I could bring up quotes from long dead poets. I could say in 3 paragraphs, what can be said in one.

The idea that calling someone creepy is hitting a nerve is dead on accurate. If someone called you creepy I'd venture a guess that it would get on your nerves too.

Again, if someone, for example, is creepy with how they are approaching, let's say, a woman, I do not see the issue with saying that is creepy behavior. As for me being called creepy...I would just add it to the 40 names I have been called out here. I truly...honestly...consider the source, and I also step back and analyze the situation... I do.

That is not always true and is a handy example of one of those instances I mentioned where you tend to asign creepiness where none may be present.

But, when you see an asshole, some might say the person is not one. You might go back and read your notes, and still come up with a, " no, they are an asshole ".



Where it gets murky is in the subtlety. In one thread in particular there was some cat-calling back and fourth in which you, I and several others were having fun at the expense of a one armed poster that went on for four pages. One person, male, made a bold statement and got a PM from a Mod. While chatting with him via PM he became very upset and felt singled out because as usual, most of the commentary in there was perpetrated by women, myself included, and he was male and felt not a part of the 'club'. He took it personally before I pointed out to him what his problem was: He is too direct. He has to be more passive aggressive humorous in his posts in order for them to work and remain. Unfiortunately my male friend is always direct. I've never known him to operate well in a passive aggressive manner. I can barely keep up at times myself. I'm using this as an example of how you, and I, can get away with saying things that others can not and there may be some resentfulness there. Is it fair or unfair? That to me is what appears to be the question.


If your friend is always direct, then I bet he has done a lot of that out here, and is not moderated..? I can't possibly comment on this scenario, as it does not ring a bell. And it does matter, to remember, because maybe he did cross a line ' we ' didn't. Not saying he did, and if the mods were not spanking us for the same thing he was doing, then talk to them. I have been warned. I have been infracted. I am really not a darling of the mods. *L* And, I think it might be a good example of my being more ' amusing ' with my shit. Some are a little jealous of that...not you, but, there are things, other than a bunch of saints not liking sinners like me, that come into play in terms of how any of us view other people, and how they get on our motherloving nerves.

[cinnamitch]

Need to post before this thread gets closed down. ;)
Hmm.. if you feel someone is bullying you just tell them to fuck off. Call them on it. Right there and then, instead of skirting around the issue and then holding a grudge, thats just silly. In saying that some people are a lot more sensitive than others, and a post disagreement is seen as a personal attack.
As for everyone on this post i will just bully you all in Scottish:

Ahhl pan yer coupons in ye scunnerin bunch o' crabbit, sleekit cowerin shower o' numpties. am gonna battter ye awe n cowp ye in a miden. ye's aw hiv coupins like skelped erses an deserve tae git leatherd! GD is ma honers btw so awa tae fuck!!! :mad:
:happy:

So in translating that ,i think you are telling us that you have coupons for battered crabbit.

[mergirl]

[/B]

So in translating that ,i think you are telling us that you have coupons for battered crabbit.

haha.. yes, that is it! So put put that in your pipes and smoke it!!! muwahahahaha!
not really..but you are kinna close..;)

[mossystate]

[/B]

So in translating that ,i think you are telling us that you have coupons for battered crabbit.

Stop encouraging her with the fanny batter!!

[mergirl]

Stop encouraging her with the fanny batter!!
How else do you think we make deep fried mars bars?
Secrets in the sauce ;)

[BarbBBW]

How else do you think we make deep fried mars bars?
Secrets in the sauce ;)

now this gives me a reason to try those deep fried candy bars finally!! haha

[exile in thighville]

Only we don't have to suppose, you put it out there in black and white...so, i personally will always wonder what your TRUE reason for being here is.

she didn't put it out there. this board took it upon themselves to indict someone for a private conversation. she has every right to think whatever she wants is disgusting, and believe me, she's hardly the only one who's done this. you have no idea how many times i've heard a sentence from an actual fatty involving the phrase "I'M FINE WITH BEING BIG BUT WHEN YOU'RE TOO BIG TO __..." one of the mods here is a proud and flaming homophobe and she's allowed to moderate. what's her reason for being a board that supports lgbt? these are not mutually exclusive traits.

and if it wasn't assumed common that many members would think various symptoms of the supersized were stomach-turning, what would the need be for a private board? i don't mind people thinking whatever they want about lovebhms - who fellates her foot on a regular basis and caused one of my favorite people in the world to leave the board - but how that situation was handled was beyond shameful, as is the witch hunt that occurred for awhile for people ON A FAT ACCEPTANCE BOARD who are just here to spy for the russians. sometimes there are no wheels within wheels.

[TraciJo67]

she didn't put it out there. this board took it upon themselves to indict someone for a private conversation. she has every right to think whatever she wants is disgusting, and believe me, she's hardly the only one who's done this. you have no idea how many times i've heard a sentence from an actual fatty involving the phrase "I'M FINE WITH BEING BIG BUT WHEN YOU'RE TOO BIG TO __..." one of the mods here is a proud and flaming homophobe and she's allowed to moderate. what's her reason for being a board that supports lgbt? these are not mutually exclusive traits.

and if it wasn't assumed common that many members would think various symptoms of the supersized were stomach-turning, what would the need be for a private board? i don't mind people thinking whatever they want about lovebhms - who fellates her foot on a regular basis and caused one of my favorite people in the world to leave the board - but how that situation was handled was beyond shameful, as is the witch hunt that occurred for awhile for people ON A FAT ACCEPTANCE BOARD who are just here to spy for the russians. sometimes there are no wheels within wheels.

I agree with this, and I wish that I hadn't brought it up. She didn't make the comments publicly. Someone betrayed her trust. I can readily imagine myself in the same position, as I say things in PM that would never (hopefully) see the light of day on this message board. It happened, it's over, she stayed and from what I've seen, she's more than redeemed herself. Many times over, people (including myself) have thrown it in her face and for a very long time, she didn't comment at all. She just moved on. We all have issues with others that, if splashed on the message board, would make us appear petty and shallow and not very damn 'accepting' at all.

I didn't mean for this to turn into another indictment. I brought it up because I thought that my lack of support back when it happened (in fact, I told LoveBHMS that I thought she should leave the board) was playing into what I at least perceive to be an intentional misunderstanding of my viewpoints. It was stupid of me to do so. What I think is that she's paid long enough.

[Angel]

:(

Maybe this thread should be subtitled GET YOUR FINAL JABS IN.


It truly amazes me that an intelligent, articulate, and educated individual whom has read hundreds of posts pertaining to a particular subject matter can still lack the compassion to even be somewhat understanding. Yet they themselves feel slighted, picked on, or singled out when they are misunderstood.



You can only try to help someone see the world in a different light for so long. Eventually you give up trying when their way of thinking is the only way they want to know. Eventually everyone will give up on that person.


Eventually everyone will get to the point of thinking why even bother?



We are all wasting our time.

[Miss Vickie]

Okay, so I read the article (after reading the thread, which I found far more illuminating than the article). Seems like the writer has an axe to grind (and admits as much in the last part of the article). I wonder this: Why does he insist on using "she" and "her" to describe forum bullies. Are there no male bullies?

As for as this relates to Dimensions, I suppose we've all been guilty of negative, bullying and other harmful behavior. Whether we're more up front and strident about it, or whether we passive aggressively try to control what others think and write, no one is immune. I think it's part of the human condition, just as we all experience conflict and misunderstanding. Many of us are carrying decades of negativity and hurt in our hearts because of how we've been treated, and it's not surprising that it would come out here.

I think it's important to remember that we're all friends (or at least acquaintances) here, and that if we elevate each other, we elevate ourselves as well. I'm not saying I'm particularly good at such a thing, just that we should maybe give it a try. ;)

[exile in thighville]

angel's bumming me out

[mossystate]

[QUOTE]You can only try to help someone see the world in a different light for so long. Eventually you give up trying when their way of thinking is the only way they want to know. Eventually everyone will give up on that person.
I so agree. Some do not want to see anything that is not cemented in their brains.
We are all wasting our time.
Once again, I agree.

[Ernest Nagel]

:(

Maybe this thread should be subtitled GET YOUR FINAL JABS IN.


It truly amazes me that an intelligent, articulate, and educated individual whom has read hundreds of posts pertaining to a particular subject matter can still lack the compassion to even be somewhat understanding. Yet they themselves feel slighted, picked on, or singled out when they are misunderstood.



You can only try to help someone see the world in a different light for so long. Eventually you give up trying when their way of thinking is the only way they want to know. Eventually everyone will give up on that person.


Eventually everyone will get to the point of thinking why even bother?



We are all wasting our time.

"At the bottom no one in life can help anyone else in life; this one experiences over and over in every conflict and every perplexity: that one is alone. That isn't as bad as it may first appear; and again it is the best thing in life that each should have everything in himself; his fate, his future, his whole expanse and world." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke :happy:

[mergirl]

"At the bottom no one in life can help anyone else in life; this one experiences over and over in every conflict and every perplexity: that one is alone. That isn't as bad as it may first appear; and again it is the best thing in life that each should have everything in himself; his fate, his future, his whole expanse and world." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke :happy:

I would eat up your words as a zen master of great restraint if i hadn't seen you taking a fly dig at someone In the edit section of your post so that it couldn't be quoted!!!!!!!
I belive everyone has their moments.

[Shosh]

[QUOTE=LillyBBBW;1236580]

I am afraid that whatever I say is going to be seen as me thinking I am some godlike creature...but, no..jebus..no..lol. I think that with me, I am more larger than life with the humor attached to my zeroing in on people. If I were more ' academic ' about things, I would not be all that much different. I know many have said that I know how to get, quickly, to the guts of a situation. That is more noticeable. I could change the way I go at it, and I would then be seen as less of a ' bully '. It would not change what is being said. It would be like holding a tea cup, pinky out, saying things in a more clever manner. I could bring up quotes from long dead poets. I could say in 3 paragraphs, what can be said in one.



Again, if someone, for example, is creepy with how they are approaching, let's say, a woman, I do not see the issue with saying that is creepy behavior. As for me being called creepy...I would just add it to the 40 names I have been called out here. I truly...honestly...consider the source, and I also step back and analyze the situation... I do.



But, when you see an asshole, some might say the person is not one. You might go back and read your notes, and still come up with a, " no, they are an asshole ".



If your friend is always direct, then I bet he has done a lot of that out here, and is not moderated..? I can't possibly comment on this scenario, as it does not ring a bell. And it does matter, to remember, because maybe he did cross a line ' we ' didn't. Not saying he did, and if the mods were not spanking us for the same thing he was doing, then talk to them. I have been warned. I have been infracted. I am really not a darling of the mods. *L* And, I think it might be a good example of my being more ' amusing ' with my shit. Some are a little jealous of that...not you, but, there are things, other than a bunch of saints not liking sinners like me, that come into play in terms of how any of us view other people, and how they get on our motherloving nerves.

Amusing? More like belligerent.

You believe your getting to the heart of the matter so quickly is gospel truth. It is just YOUR opinion, it is not absolute truth about another. You cannot seem to get that.
People are jealous of you? Hardly. It is more that you cannot stand to see others interacting with each other in a happy and positive way.

You have your anonymous supporters that bolster your rep count, and pat you on the back. I am not overly concerned with my rep count.
I am out living my life, and interacting with people in the real world, and making my mark there.


I do not know why I bother. It is not worth it.

[D_A_Bunny]

and if it wasn't assumed common that many members would think various symptoms of the supersized were stomach-turning, what would the need be for a private board?

You really need to let this go. And you were so close to getting a key to the secret garden.

[TraciJo67]

[QUOTE=mossystate;1236613]

Amusing? More like belligerent.

You believe your getting to the heart of the matter so quickly is gospel truth. It is just YOUR opinion, it is not absolute truth about another. You cannot seem to get that.
People are jealous of you? Hardly. It is more that you cannot stand to see others interacting with each other in a happy and positive way.

You have your anonymous supporters that bolster your rep count, and pat you on the back. I am not overly concerned with my rep count.
I am out living my life, and interacting with people in the real world, and making my mark there.


I do not know why I bother. It is not worth it.

Translation: You have a life, and Mossy doesn't. Nice, generous observation there.

Actual Translation: Mossy doesn't like you, has called you on some of your BS, has never really warmed up to you, and so she's by default a bully. No, Susannah. She just doesn't like you, never has, and never will. What you don't seem to 'get' is that this doesn't in any way diminish *you*. You choose to let it get to you, and eat away at you, and in the process you've made yourself seem petty and ridiculous, at least to me.

I am beginning to think that this whole 'REP' system just needs to go. Contrary to what a lot of people have said, I actually think that it *does* make some of us bitter and angry to see people that we don't like high up in the ranking system. Would it level the playing field if none of us knew who happened to occupy the 'most popular' slots at any given time? I think it might.

I don't believe in the REP system anyway. I'm somewhere in the Top 10 and I damn bloody well *know* that I'm not well regarded by many.

[Fascinita]

Yeah, saw that. Just surprised that she was all 'yeah I'm bully and I don't care' since I have seriously never seen a post of hers before. Like where are these mean posts? just.. interesting.

She was "speaking" rhetorically. And it's gonna be OK. All right, now. Shamm awn.

*offers you a glass of Chablis and a chill pill... tussles your hair* :p

[fatgirlflyin]

You really need to let this go. And you were so close to getting a key to the secret garden.

He was actually making a really good point. That is the reason for the private SSBBW board.

[Shosh]

Here comes the Cavalry. Like I said, it is like clockwork.

[Surlysomething]

I agree with this, and I wish that I hadn't brought it up. She didn't make the comments publicly. Someone betrayed her trust. I can readily imagine myself in the same position, as I say things in PM that would never (hopefully) see the light of day on this message board. It happened, it's over, she stayed and from what I've seen, she's more than redeemed herself. Many times over, people (including myself) have thrown it in her face and for a very long time, she didn't comment at all. She just moved on. We all have issues with others that, if splashed on the message board, would make us appear petty and shallow and not very damn 'accepting' at all.



This is always how I felt with the whole canklegate issue. Anything said was null and void as soon as LoveBHMS trust was violated. Why the person that outed her private message wasn't banned i'll never know. It if was me moderating that back then, the person who outed the pm would have been gone for a lifetime.

[mossystate]

" Amusing? More like belligerent.

You believe your getting to the heart of the matter so quickly is gospel truth. It is just YOUR opinion, it is not absolute truth about another. You cannot seem to get that.
People are jealous of you? Hardly. It is more that you cannot stand to see others interacting with each other in a happy and positive way.

You have your anonymous supporters that bolster your rep count, and pat you on the back. I am not overly concerned with my rep count.
I am out living my life, and interacting with people in the real world, and making my mark there.


I do not know why I bother. It is not worth it. "

Well, you have been on my ignore list since last October...give or take...but, I saw this.

Susannah, you really have to let go of this bitterness. I do not even engage you anymore. Of course they are my opinions. Your opinions are yours, and I bet you are please as punch by them, or at least I hope you are proud of what you say, for the most part, as that is the only thing any of us can do, or hope for. I guess when you say something about another, it is never true. What that must do to your brain, thinking you said something that you believed, but finding out it is not the case.

Anonymous supporter who bolster my rep count? Ummmmm, yes, rep comments are private. If you have an issue with that, take it up with Conrad. Or are you making it seem that the only ' support ' I get out here is from people who would not be caught dead enaging me in actual thread, on actual forums? You might be shocked at the variety I get passing my way. Since you obviously only zoom in on what you so despise about me, you don't see that more than a few people think I am pretty nice, and the feeling is mutual. Enjoy those you like. Getting so worked up about my rep count, is taking away real joy you could be sharing with friends.

My life. Hmmmmm. Well, I will say that things did get a little off-track after the mother I cared for, died. But, what was temp derailed is such superficial stuff, in the scheme of things. If my post count indicates that I do not relate to people in the real world, then there are others you have just thrown under the same bus. There are people you have just slapped, who are at home, for whatever reasons. I sure hope you are not saying that they are not worthwhile members of society. I seem to remember you not liking being labelled that way. I am a work in progress, but I am for the most part, where it matters, really happy I am who I am. I hope one day you can get there.

Now, I truly won't see any comment from you, unless you have been quoted.

[Surlysomething]

she didn't put it out there. this board took it upon themselves to indict someone for a private conversation. she has every right to think whatever she wants is disgusting, and believe me, she's hardly the only one who's done this. you have no idea how many times i've heard a sentence from an actual fatty involving the phrase "I'M FINE WITH BEING BIG BUT WHEN YOU'RE TOO BIG TO __..." one of the mods here is a proud and flaming homophobe and she's allowed to moderate. what's her reason for being a board that supports lgbt? these are not mutually exclusive traits.

and if it wasn't assumed common that many members would think various symptoms of the supersized were stomach-turning, what would the need be for a private board? i don't mind people thinking whatever they want about lovebhms - who fellates her foot on a regular basis and caused one of my favorite people in the world to leave the board - but how that situation was handled was beyond shameful, as is the witch hunt that occurred for awhile for people ON A FAT ACCEPTANCE BOARD who are just here to spy for the russians. sometimes there are no wheels within wheels.


wow, I can't believe I agree with most everything you said here

I need to go scrub myself with steel wool

[joswitch]

this was a good article Exile... now that's some hella trolling there...
Interesting that these fellas who've done some appalling stuff - by their own admission - actually allowed their pictures to be taken! hmmm...
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all
.....
Apropos of nothing... anyone seen Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back? *cough* *whistles innocently* ;)
.....

And Mergirl! I know what you said! lol! :D ;P
Having been born & rasied bang in the geographic centre of the UK I can understand pretty much everyone... except maybe the thickest 'weegie or west country accents...

That DIMS has a "scandal" with the actual name - !Canklegate!
Made me laugh at first... but now I'm just a bit gobsmacked! O_o

On Topic - Yep, as Tau said this is a forum for grown ups soooo y'know hopefully most peeps have a certain thickness of skin... On the other hand as SocialbFly said DIMS is meant to be a "safe place" for big folks and their admirers..

I've been around DIMS for over 10 years (originally as Fidgreen) from waaaay back in the day when the boards were very, very different both in format, style and content...
And yeah, the rate of "smackdown" on here really has gone way up IMO....

I think to an extent that reflects the evolving function of DIMS...
Where acceptance, support and dealing with social *issues* have really begun to be a big part of things here.... But those aspects may have been here strongly all along and I didn't notice, cos I wasn't actively concerned with those things back then....

I think the "splitting-up" of the board into sections does let people pick and chose their experience, which is great... If for instance your were offended by or opposed to on philosophical / social political grounds say nekkid pics or feeederism... then you are able to not go to those sections and instead visit others....
I do notice some folks who seem to like to go to areas that are specifically for one thing, and then get all offended and mad about that very thing!... seems a bit daft to me.... 0_o

I gotta say that when I really started taking part/posting on here a few months back I did expect to get waaaaaay more flames.... Even in recent discussion over in the "FAs shallow?" thread where I expected my use of a *certain analogy* to describe my feelings would get me nuked from orbit, actually what I got was only ONE flame and otherwise what I thought was a really productive discussion... :D which makes one of several I've had on here... :)

It has to be said that I am kinda used to opening up and putting my feelings "out there" to be seen (and maybe trampled on) by one and all - being as I'm a songwriter / performance poet... and so I'm used to RL assholery directed at me at times when I make myself most open and vulnerable*... and I'm more than happy to assert myself... so maybe I'm not available to potential bullies as a victim...

/rambling thoughts

(* classic instance - on stage early in my solo "career", in the middle of a moody song... drunk invades the stage grabs the mic - "CAN'T YOU PLAY SOMETHING MORE CHEERFUL?")

[TraciJo67]

Here comes the Cavalry. Like I said, it is like clockwork.

Nice comeback. This is what you have in your repartee?

Yes, I like Mossy. I always have. Until recently, I liked you very much too. We may have disagreed about certain issues, but we managed to have a very friendly PM relationship, and I really enjoyed talking to you. What turned me off was seeing the constant underhanded digs that you peppered all over the message board, directed at Monique but of course not naming her specifically. Once or twice, OK. You're angry. Maybe hurt, even. But it became a near constant thing with you. You cannot let it go, whatever it is that happened in the past -- and frankly, I don't even remember what that was and I doubt that many other people do. I told you this very same thing in a PM, months ago.

I am not her mouthpiece, and clearly, you know this. I have a mind of my own. I am capable of formulating an opinion, whether you feel that it's an informed one or not.

It is very easy to dismiss feedback that you don't wish to hear, and to simply write it off as "the cavalry" galloping in. What would it mean if you actually absorbed it and truly questioned its validity? Would you be a "bad" person if you just .... freaking .... acknowledged that you've behaved badly yourself?

[wrestlingguy]

Having come & gone on several occasions over the past 12+ years, there are things that I have noticed in both participating on the boards, and as a reader during my lurking time.

First, this is a tough place. Other forums that discuss fat sexuality, fat acceptance, fat porn, all of them on different occasions have described this community as tough. Anyone who has ventured from here has seen it, and those who come here from other forums feel it. Some of us wear the toughness like a badge of honor.

That toughness, in some cases, can be perceived as bullying. Several respondents here have acknowledged that toughness, and even admitted in some cases they need to win every argument here. I will admit to doing so as well.

We judge people here by the few sentences we get to read from them. We judge. Do we feel we should be judged by a few sentences we utter here?

Several weeks ago, I received a warning, and was reported to the mods for making several comments that appeared to be racist, and they were made to a person of color. My intent was not to be racist at all, some statements made to my wife several weeks before his postings here, and seeing his private comments to her, and then his postings on the board, I made the interaction between us very personal. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not racist to any degree. I just needed to get under this guy's skin, and I succeeded, but not without getting away with at the very least a warning that Conrad doesn't tolerate racism in Dimensions.

Point being made here is that we are all multi faceted individuals. This corner of our world is not what our entire life is made up of (at least I hope not).

So Mossystate has been accused of being a bully.......OK, so that is one facet of how some may see her. So, recently, I confided a private matter to her, with the result being an extremely compassionate answer from her. Did it surprise me, based on our previous board interaction? I think my answer has to be I don't know, since other than what she says on the boards, I know little about her. I do know that I appreciated what she said privately to me in response, and I know that friendships, no matter how loosely that term is construed, are based on understanding who that person is, and how they arrive at their conclusions about things. Also, an appreciation of their humanness helps as well.

The same thing can be said of others I've disagreed with in the past, whether it was TraciJo, or LoveBHMS, or William, or T-Devil or Uncanny Bruceman. I've never felt bullied, despite hearing that others felt bullied by some of the names that I've mentioned.

I'm not saying that we need to agree here on everything, I'm not even saying we need to be cordial, but when someone utters a comment that seems so foreign to how you may think, don't you want to at least look at how they came to that conclusion before setting your turrets on them?

Maybe we need another forum.......YES, another one, where we can actually talk about who we are, our lives, what we do, what makes us tick, and no, I don't mean Hyde Park. Maybe if we really got to know all of us a little better........

One of the advantages of running the New Jersey Bash is that we've been a catalyst for bringing together people from many different forums besides Dimensions. I enjoy interacting with everyone whether they are from Fantasy Feeder (even though I don't share the views of most feeders), The Fat Forums (mostly a porn related site), BBW Chat Zone, Curvage, Thick BBW Forums, and the rest. I try to see what we all have in common (besides fat, and whatever goes along with that), rather than looking at what separates us. Doing this for the past few years has helped change my outlook, and I wish all of you could get to these types of events to feel the real sense of community that I have the opportunity to be part of.

I will always be grateful to my bash partner Bernadette (bigsexy920) for helping to change my outlook on things. I've been a dick and a bully on these forums in the past. I've learned to temper my comments, and save my thoughts for when I can have face to face dialogue with people, when it can really count.