Non Sequitur

[Fuzzy]

Why in the world is Kosher Salt only available in the really big box?

[mango]

yada yada yada...

:cool:

[Timberwolf]

Piankiller helped me sleeping. But my toe still aches.

[swamptoad]

"What's wrong with Timberwolf's Toe?" asked the curious and petrified lizard antler.

[Timberwolf]

Sorry, I was asking Santa about it.

[mango]

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile

:cool:

[Timberwolf]

This forum requires that you wait 30 seconds between posts. Please try again in 1 seconds.

[mango]

This conversation no longer serves any purpose.

[Timberwolf]

In about half an hour, I'll try to adjust the sattelite dish...
Wish me luck...

[mango]

And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?

:confused:

[Timberwolf]

Wooohoo, I got it!

[mango]

That was my mistake

[Timberwolf]

It's getting really warm today. Above 86° F. Poor english soccer team...

[mango]

1. e4 c5

:cool:

[Timberwolf]

A slice of grilled brain on toast, anyone?
We had about 91°F today and I always have the sun on my room in the afternoon...

[mango]

Then out of the sun rode a man with a gun
And Bart..... was his name, yes Bart was his name

:cool:

[Timberwolf]

A slice of grilled brain on toast, anyone?

[OpalBBW]

I got a new phone today and it's pink.

[snuggletiger]

You sir are no Jack Paar.

[Fuzzy]

I've got... a Yankee Doodle Sweeeeeeheart....

[Jay West Coast]

You know, "up your alley" really is a gross thing to say to someone.

[Fuzzy]

I'm having trouble locating pictures...

[Fuzzy]

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

[mango]

Female Sumo Wrestling Auditions Now Open.

:cool:

[Fuzzy]

I worked with a guy at Exxon whose nickname was Hippy, who drove a AMC Gremlin with a Chevy 305 wedged into it. His girlfriend at the time went by the nick "Cricket", and he named his german shepherd "Shithead". He busted his rear window out and was too cheap to replace it, so he filled the space with a peice of plywood.

[UberAris]

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *thud*

~~Offical anthem of the Oompa Loompa Tossing Society

[idun]

i got a new tattoo jeeeeeeeejj :D

[Timberwolf]

*thud*
vf,v,cv,c vmjb vb
*snore*

[mango]

01000110011010101010101001010010101010
11001010010001010110100101001110101011
00110101010110101101100011011010101100

[Timberwolf]

*raises head from keyboard*
*yawn* Ouch!
#Note to self: Try not to sleep on the keyboard. #

[mango]

Uh, Gaston! A bucket for monsieur.

:cool:

[Timberwolf]

Ah, garcon! Un seau d'eau glacé pour l'australien...

[sweetnnekked]

...the naked cyclists at the Solstice Parade!!

[Timberwolf]

Italy vs. USA - 1:1...

I wish it had been a beautiful game...

*sigh*

[swamptoad]

I'm home alone. :shocked:

[Rainahblue]

I hate cheese.

[swamptoad]

Why want the dishes clean themselves for a change?

[mango]

Should I stay or should I go now.

:confused:

[swamptoad]

I need to go for a drive thru movies look pretty cool as a cucumbers make pickles are a nice snack to eat out of the house on haunted hill is quite scary with the lights on.

[UberAris]

TV: "its 9:45pm do you know where your children are?"

Homer: "I keep telling you, NO!"

[mango]

Syntax Error. Please Try Again.

[CleverBomb]

Syntax Error. Please Try Again.
READY.
?OUT OF DATA

READY.



-Rusty

[Timberwolf]

Once again a thunderstorm... the third today... it's getting boring...

[UberAris]

Aris: What the hell...? I keep getting Syntax Error...

John: you ARE a syntax error

Aris: HEY!!!

*insert threats and comical chase scene here*

[Timberwolf]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to UberAris again.

[UberAris]

haha thanks :p

[Timberwolf]

KA-BOOM!
Er, this thunderstorm doesn't seem to like my comment on it...
*looking a little scared*

[mango]

Togo is a country??

:confused:

[Timberwolf]

There's a dance called "Pogo"...

[mango]

Wolves can come from outer space??

:confused:

[UberAris]

Reagan: Mayor McCheese-Burger, Tear down these walls! Graah! Reagan smash!!! Reagan Smash!!!

*inside*

Mcdonalds worker 1: Whats that thuding noise?
Mcdonalds worker 2: Oh, thats just former president Reagan. Just ignore it, he tires himself out after a little bit...

*back outside*

Reagan: Reagan... sleepy...

[Fuzzy]

Its like Ta-mater, without the Ta.

[swamptoad]

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

[Rainahblue]

"It is such a secret place, the Land of Tears."

[mango]

I didn't get a 'Harumph' outta you!

:mad:

[Esme]

Who did let the dogs out?

[Timberwolf]

Rrrribbit!

[swamptoad]

I like to "o"at, "o"at, "o"at

"o"pples and b"o"nn"o"n"o"s....

[Esme]

Lightbulbs burn out when it's most inconvenient.

[Timberwolf]

I think I confused someone in another thread...

[UberAris]

**Insert any quote from 'The Emperors New Groove" here**

[Esme]

Llamas spit

[swamptoad]

I can burp my A,B,C's.

[Esme]

Snausages!

[Fuzzy]

Bling Bling!

[swamptoad]

I heard that instead of just having botox, during facial surgery, you can now have the option of having shrew venom, according to Animal Planet.

[Fuzzy]

Which way did he go, George; Which way did he go, George?

[mango]

When I am King, you will be first against the wall!

:cool:

[Timberwolf]

OK, our house is still standing. But some pictures fell off the wall... :eek:

[swamptoad]

OK, our house is still standing. But some pictures fell off the wall... :eek:

Bad weather where you live?

[Timberwolf]

See "Random single confessions" thread for further information...

[Timberwolf]

Bad weather where you live?

Uhm, I'm not quite sure if the houses are still standing in the place they stood before... ;)

[Esme]

Where have all the flowers gone?

[Fuzzy]

A million 'food bug' chocolate bars taken off shelves

CADBURY’S was under investigation last night over why it kept silent for six months about salmonella contamination at one of its factories before removing one million chocolate bars from the shelves.
The Food Standards Agency has asked Cadbury Schweppes, which sells chocolate worth £1 billion a year in the UK, to explain why it failed to alert them immediately after discovering salmonella at its Malbrook plant near Leominster, Herefordshire, in January.

Cadbury’s denied yesterday that there had been a cover-up. A spokeswoman insisted that the recall was a precautionary measure because some chocolate might contain minute traces of salmonella and that there “was no risk to human health”.

TimesOnline UK (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-2241118,00.html)

[Fuzzy]

You can't put yourself on your ignore list.

[mango]

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

[swamptoad]

It's slightly hot in this house.

[Fuzzy]

200 calories? Each? Oh my.

[Fuzzy]

Doing a google search for shingles have me tons of the chicken pox related disease, and lots of building material.

[mango]

We Wuz Robbed!!

:mad:

[Esme]

the rain is going to halt work on my driveway approach:(

[Fuzzy]

She runs back down the hallway
And through the bedroom door
She reaches for the pistol
kept in her dresser drawer
Tells the lady in the mirror
"He won't do this again"
Because tonight will be the last time
She'll wonder where he's been

[Falling Boy]

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

[Timberwolf]

Note to self:

Never, I repeat: NEVER again try to play air guitar while holding a full glass in your hand...
:eek: :shocked: :eek: :eek: :shocked: :eek:








:D ;) Just kidding...

[Fuzzy]

Hey baby, I hear the blues a-callin'. Tossed salad and scrambled eggs
Quite stylish.

And maybe I seem a bit confused, yeah maybe, but I got you pegged!
Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!
But I don’t know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
They’re callin’ again.

[Fuzzy]

Gentlemen! We appear to be surrounded by film!

[Shikamaru]

How are you Gentlemen.
All your base are belong to us.
You are on the way to destruction
What you say?!
You have no chance to survive make your time.

[Fuzzy]

For lunch, Ken crouches on the side of the road and rubs gravel in his hair.

[Timberwolf]

I think I got this puzzle - called my brain - put together again. But I'm not sure if all parts stick where they belong...

[Fuzzy]

So why are bras only sized in even numbers?

[Timberwolf]

It must be snowing in hell now... Isawaflyingpig!

[swamptoad]

I need a haircut.

[Fuzzy]

As a token of my gratitude, I will identify items for you at no charge.

[swamptoad]

The dishes are done!

[Fuzzy]

We shall say Ni again to you, if you do not appease us!

[Timberwolf]

I wanna sleep!

[Esme]

I seem to be out of rep today. :(

[Fuzzy]

Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

[Timberwolf]

Ker-k-k-k-kerboooooooooooommmmmmble...

[Fuzzy]

Little does he realize that I'm wearing my disintegration-proof vest.

[Timberwolf]

*yaaaaaaaawn*

[Ceres]

ohhhhhhhh poop...my tomatoes are not growing...ceres

[Fuzzy]

( and on that note, I've got to spray my fruit trees! )

[swamptoad]

The kittens have fallen asleep at the edges of the couch again.

Ooops, nevermind.

They are stretching again.

[Fuzzy]

There once was a pastor named Ward,
Who was very in tune with the Lord,
Out walking one night,
He had a vision of light,
But was hit by a 4x4 Ford.

[Timberwolf]

If there is any chance that something could go wrong, it will.

[sirumberto]

It's too darn hot.

[Fuzzy]

But why is the Rum gone?

[Ample Pie]

Snakes don't have armpits.

[swamptoad]

I can't find the fly swatter and the fly is laughing at me.

[Timberwolf]

I'm sitting in a rollercoaster...

At Home!

[mango]

You have included 23 images in your message. You are limited to using 10 images so please go back and correct the problem and then continue again.

[bbwsweetheart]

My feet hurt. :(

[sirumberto]

Stop! Hey, what's that sound? :confused:

[Timberwolf]

Someone must have hit me with something. My head hurts.

[Fuzzy]

But why is the rum gone?

[activistfatgirl]

I shoulda never bought the diet pepsi on sale...

[Fuzzy]

I hope that old man got that tractor beam out of commission or this will be a short trip.. Okay, Hit it!

[activistfatgirl]

My ankle is asleep. I want to poke it.

[sirumberto]

Rats on acid are pretty freakin' groovy, so I generally don't go to church anymore.

[sweetnnekked]

I've got scrotum scrunch.

[Fuzzy]

Why you mangy fang-toothed critter!

[swamptoad]

Who wants to sing Hip-Hopera?

[Fuzzy]

In this clip, we see the suspect take the peanut butter, the vacuum, the deck of cards, but leaves the banana, the wallet, and bikini-clad model. No one knows why.

[swamptoad]

Theres dog food all over the floor and a kid smiling with a mouth full of rotting cavities while drinking coca-cola in the street.

[mango]

Those were the days...

:cool:

[bbwsweetheart]

There's a mouse in the house :eek:

[Timberwolf]

I'll need a diving suit to get to my car if it keeps raining like this...
Perhaps I should activate the submarine mode, just to be on the safe side...

[Veronica VonDiesel]

Take your pick:

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.

--Thoreau

OR

The plural of anecdote is data.

--Spears? (Sparse--I can't remember)

[mango]

Can't find it??

Keep looking!

:cool:

[Timberwolf]

666 posts...

*looks around concerned because of some far, far away evil laughter*

[swamptoad]

I'm hungry! :(

[Timberwolf]

"Let us welcome another member in our club!"

[swamptoad]

Does anybody here know that Billy Joe from "Green Day" is a secret character on the game Tony Hawk American Wasteland?

[Fuzzy]

Well aren't you Miss America
Don't you Miss America
Won't you Miss America
Our love

[Blackjack_Jeeves]

We sit together
The Mountain and I
Until only the Mountain remains

[mango]

PLUTO... IS... OUT!!!

:rolleyes:

[sweetnnekked]

Fumblestix are so much more.

[Ample Pie]

I'm pretty sure there are bee-byes behind the couch.

[Blackjack_Jeeves]

This glass seems especially heavy..... for glass......

[Timberwolf]

My head spins around itself like a merry-go-round... *yikes*

[bbwsweetheart]

For two hundred points, how long can men go without cleaning the toilet?

[Blackjack_Jeeves]

"'Bad wishes to ask for when a Genie grants you three wishes.' '..... yeah, I'd like two cokes and some fries.'"

[swamptoad]

I would like a coca-cola.

Alas, no soda tonight. :(

I will make do with H20. :p

[Fuzzy]

Me feets ache

[swamptoad]

I have not tried the pastrami sandwich at Subway.

[Fuzzy]

What was that? What's Colorado Koolaid?

Its a can of Coors, brewed from a mountain stream.
It'll set your heart on fire, and make your kidneys scream.

Sure is nice.

[swamptoad]

What was that? What's Colorado Koolaid?

Its a can of Coors, brewed from a mountain stream.
It'll set your heart on fire, and make your kidneys scream.

Sure is nice.

That's funny! :D

*I forgot who sang that, btw*

[Fuzzy]

That's funny! :D

*I forgot who sang that, btw*

Johnny Paycheck. Who also sang "Take this job and shove it!" and "To hell with the I.R.S." <--- had a lyric that I'll never forget .."How can I make love to my woman, with Uncle Sam's hands in my pants.."

[bbwsweetheart]

Icky Gooey was a worm
A leetle worm was he
He sat upon a railroad track
A train he did not see
Ickey! Gooey!

[swamptoad]

Instead of singing "Oh, Home On The Range" ....everyone join together and lets sing a different version: "Old Gnome With The Mange."

[mango]

This post was brought to you by the letter W.

:)

[Timberwolf]

Snail mail isn't rail mail...

[bbwsweetheart]

Warning: these peanuts may contain nuts.

[swamptoad]

Peanuts: Linus, Lucy, Charlie Brown, Snoopy, etc...

[Timberwolf]

I think I'm going nuts...

[bbwsweetheart]

This can of air freshener should be used by trained personnel only.

[interesting monster]

This can of air freshener should be used by trained personnel only.

I used to live in a ham sandwich.

[Fuzzy]

I happen to like that corn chip smell.

[TH3_GH0$T]

That's very offending...

Don't you know all generalizations are false?

[swamptoad]

The dog shit has dried very nicely on the bottom of these shoes.

[Timberwolf]

I think my lunch wasn't big enough... I'm still hungry.

[bbwsweetheart]

1,2,3 - you're OUT!

[Timberwolf]

Spank me if I should be wrong, but it seems as if Jes would be in again... :)

[bbwsweetheart]

Drop your trousers! :shocked:

[kathynoon]

Resistence is futile.

[UberAris]

Ever get that innate feeling that a paranormal entity bent on your chaotic demise is floating just behind you???




...no?





Then it must have been the taco I found in the back of the fridge I ate...

[bbwsweetheart]

We who are about to die salute you.

[kathynoon]

If I had as hammer, I'd hammer in the morning.

[swamptoad]

Peter, Paul and Mary Jane --- *Before and After is the category*

[bbwsweetheart]

Beans, beans
the musical fruit
the more you eat
the more you toot
the more you toot
the better you feel
so eat your beans at every meal!

[swamptoad]

My toe jam is stickier today than it was yesterday.

[mango]

You turn the lamp down low
And make her feel secure
You’ve got to show the girl
That she’s the one you adore
If you want that sugar to pour

:cool:

[bbwsweetheart]

Did ya hear? The world's oldest surviving condom is on display in an Austrian museum. It's reusable and comes complete with instructions, written in Latin.

[mango]

Two oysters walked into a bar.

One pulled a mussel.

:D

[Fuzzy]

On the way home, my SO and I stopped at a c-store next to the interstate to acquire more munchies, and to refill her mug with ice water. As I was filling the mug, the cashier was in conversation with two sheriffs deputies. She had been gossiping about this person and that person and how everyone was either divorcing or cheating on each other, or pregnant. At the climax of the story, with me filling the big 32oz mug, she exclaimed, "Whatever you do, Don't drink the water!"

[swamptoad]

On the way home, my SO and I stopped at a c-store next to the interstate to acquire more munchies, and to refill her mug with ice water. As I was filling the mug, the cashier was in conversation with two sheriffs deputies. She had been gossiping about this person and that person and how everyone was either divorcing or cheating on each other, or pregnant. At the climax of the story, with me filling the big 32oz mug, she exclaimed, "Whatever you do, Don't drink the water!"


......:shocked: .......

What kind of munchies did you get?

[Fuzzy]

......:shocked: .......

What kind of munchies did you get?

The usual fare.. doritos, teriyaki jerky, nutter-butters, lil'debbies, and diet caffienated sodad.

[bbwsweetheart]

Why do I feel hungry? Hmmm.

Change is good. Dollars are better. Hahahaha.

[UberAris]

"The souls of the Innocent are out weighed by the souls of the Guilty"
~Libris Inquitious: Exterminatus

"Does that Pie have Pi written on it?"
"Yes it does"
"So... can I have a slice?"
"OF COURSE NOT!!!"
"er.. why?"
"YOU CAN'T DEVIDE PIE EVENLY!!!"
~Brandon and myself

"Hey billy"
"Hey who are you?"
"I'm your inner frat boy, everyone has an inner frat boy, so whats wrong?"
"Oh, there are a bunch of scary clowns out there and I don't know what to do"
"Oh billy there is no reason that you should be afraid of clowns"
"There's not?"
"no... YOU SHOULD BE ANGERY!!! WHAT?! IS MY WAY OF LIFE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM?!"
"wow you know.. now that you put it that way... I guess your right"
~The grim adventures of Billy and Mandy

[bbwsweetheart]

Did you hear about the poor fortune-teller? She didn't make much of a prophet! :D

[swamptoad]

A genius is a crockpot that has hit the jackpot.

That was pretty funny and corny too bbwsweetheart. :D

[Fuzzy]

Shot thru the heart! And you're to blame!

[swamptoad]

Shot thru the heart! And you're to blame!

Now, you're putting a Bon Jovi song in my head. *DOH* You've gotta hear the Orbital mix of that song "overlapped" in simultaneous play to Belinda Carlisle's "Heaven Is A Place On Earth." It's interesting to hear whether or not you are a fan of dance or electronic style music, I think. :)

[bbwsweetheart]

USED TOMBSTONE.

Perfect for anyone named Homer Hendel Bergen Heinzel. One only.

[bbwsweetheart]

It takes many ingedients to make our burgers taste great, but our secret ingredient is our people!

[UberAris]

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! *thud*

^the rise and fall of a sugar-high

[kathynoon]

Do they call the show LOST because everyone is lost when watching it?

[bbwsweetheart]

Procrastine! Now. :D

[Fuzzy]

I.. Am.. Kirk!

[kathynoon]

Many shall try, but only one will win.

[Fuzzy]

Severe Tire Damage

[bbwsweetheart]

Why won't sharks sue lawyers? Professional courtesy.

[CurvaceousBBWLover]

Non sequitur, mon ami.

[swamptoad]

Petrified Lizard Antlers rock!!!!

[Timberwolf]

Did you know that Mt. Everest is an anthill?

[swamptoad]

*Bonus Question*

Peas Porridge Hot
Peas Porridge Cold
Peas Porridge in the pot
____ days old.

[kathynoon]

I think I've lost my mind, I hope I find it soon so I know what I am doing.

[bbwsweetheart]

A CT company and a German company,Max Planck Inst have made breakthroughts in developing the genome of a Neanderthal man, who is 99%-plus similar to humans. If these companies are successful, they could bring the species back to life by implanting the genes intoa human egg.

[UberAris]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sheetz

[swamptoad]

tic-tac-toe anyone?

[bbwsweetheart]

A British Egg Info Society has solved the problem of when to tell when an egg is soft, medium, or hard-boiled. An invisible ink on the shell becomes visible at the right time.

[Timberwolf]

I'm exhausted...

[kathynoon]

I tried to go to Sesame Street, but got lost in Mr. Roger's neighborhood.

[bbwsweetheart]

A Kenyan cult predicted the end of the world from a nuclear war between the US and North Korea on 9/12/06. They were wrong.

[kathynoon]

I need new shoes

[freebird]

You know that monster in your cupboard when you were 10? That was your Uncle Harry drunk after the new years party two weeks ago.

[bbwsweetheart]

Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing.

[kathynoon]

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

[UberAris]

I know Kung Fu

[kathynoon]

I can touch the tip of my nose with my toungue.

[bbwsweetheart]

Milk drinkers are turning to powder.

[Fuzzy]

I can poke my head thru a hole this big. *poke* *poke*

[mango]

Scarecrow... I think i'll miss you most of all!!

:cool:

[Timberwolf]

*sings*

Just another manic monday... :rolleyes:

[bbwsweetheart]

Two convicts evade noose, jury hung.

[Fuzzy]

These can't be my boxers, These bend!

[Fuzzy]

Overture, curtain, lights
This is it, the night o' nights
No more rehearsing and nursing our parts
We know every part by heart
Overture, curtain, lights
This is it, to hit the heights
And, O what heights we'll hit
On with the show, this is it
Tonight what heights we'll hit
On with the show, this is it

[mango]

I insist we use the Cone Of Silence!

:D

[kathynoon]

Cold hearted orb that rules the night, removes the colors from our sight. Red is grey and yellow white, but we decides which is right and which is an illusion.

[bbwsweetheart]

Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers.

[pdgujer148]

J Edgar hoovered my ensemble.

[Fuzzy]

Shot thru the heart! And you're to blame!

[mango]

Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder...

:D

[kathynoon]

Like sand in an hourglass, these are the days of our lives.

[Tina]

My toe itches.

[Fuzzy]

There's no time to kill between the cradle and the grave
Father Time still takes a toll on every minute that you save
Legal tender's never gonna change the number on your days
The highest cost of livin's dyin', that's one everybody pays
So have it spent before you get the bill, there's no time to kill

[Timberwolf]

Right now, I have an empty head full of sh*t...

[bbwsweetheart]

"I see", said the blind man, though he really didn't.

[Fuzzy]

"I see", said the blind man, though he really didn't.

"I see", said the blind man, to his deaf wife.

[Fuzzy]

Rimmer: After intensive investigation, comma, of the markings on the alien
pod, comma, it has become clear, comma, to me, comma, that we are dealing,
comma, with a species of awesome intellect, colon.

Holly: Good. Perhaps they might be able to give you a hand with your punctuation.

[swamptoad]

Puddles of novelty whiplash, then tumult into the kudzu lampshades. The whir of fossilized owl pellets breathe the wooden apostrophe of chance.

[kathynoon]

The ocean comes and the ocean goes. Loudly, softly, but always salty.

[Fuzzy]

And now for something completely different... A man with three buttocks.

[mango]

Anyone for Tennis??

:cool:

[swamptoad]

Can anybody help me find Waldo?

[Timberwolf]

*cough* *cough* *COUGH*

[Fuzzy]

Well the midnight headlight,
find you on a rainy night,
steep grade,
up ahead,
slow me down,
makin no time...

[bbwsweetheart]

Green eggs and ham, please.

[pdgujer148]

Amerikan Tabloid: Warrum?

[blueeyedevie]

cheese cake .. I need cheese cake...:eat2:

[mango]

He's dead Jim.

:doh:

[swamptoad]

Once upon a midnight dreary
While I pondered as strong as an ox... :confused:

[Timberwolf]

Sweatin' the night away...

*drip* *drip*

[mango]

Where are the lumps in my gravy?

:confused:

[Butterbelly]

I'm thinking about getting my nose pierced.

[Fuzzy]

I'm thinking about getting my nose pierced.

(I've never ever figured out why anyone would get pierced, except for peer pressure and a possible addiction to the endorphin rush.)

[bbwsweetheart]

I've got no strings
To hold me down
To make me fret, or make me frown

[mango]

Bad sneakers and a Piña Colada
My friend

:cool:

[swamptoad]

Bad To The Bone...