Breakup *rant*

[herin]

I had posted this on my blog, but I thought I'd spread the joy around a little. Am I looking for sympathy? Maybe. Confused? Most definitely. :confused:

Well, I guess I'm single again. I haven't talked to my bf in almost a month. I thought he was stuck off-shore, as he sometimes has to stay out there that long from time to time with no cell or computer access. Well. . .imagine my suprise when I see that he was logged in here (myspace) during that time. Not only that! He updated his page last week. What? The? Blue? F**k?!? Oh yeah. I almost forgot! He was on yahoo im the other night. I tried to im him and got no response. Can't get him by phone or email either.

Well, I can take a f**king hint, ya know?? I mean, Christ! He said he loved me. . .wanted to spend forever with me. . .what the hell happened? I just. . .I don't know how to feel. I'm just numb.

I could really use some love from y'all right now. :(

[1300 Class]

Well, tough call. Hope everything works out. http://70.85.81.229/2933/135/emo/hug.gif

[Fuzzy]

Yet another example why my gender can be absolute assholes.

[Morganne]

Damn. That's harsh. I empathize with you right now Herin. I think most of us have felt betrayed by people we felt cared for us. It hurts bad because you don't even know what you did wrong, if anything. He is just avoiding you. If he has posted on My.space recently and didn't contact you, that's just awful. He doesn't think you are worried about his whereabouts? He is inconsiderate among other things. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but this seems like just plain forsaking of someone.I am sorry that some people can be so cruel with others feeelings and just disregard them.

[Tina]

What a coward. He could have at least had the balls to tell you, instead of letting you find out that he's been around but just hasn't contacted you. Sorry for the hurt you're going through, Herin.

[dan]

Might not believe this now but You WILL find that real special someone. :smitten:

[herin]

Thanks so much guys. I feel like a total dumbass right now. :( I'm so glad to have this place to come to. I love you guys.

[Tina]

Herin, you're not the one who should feel like a dumbass, he should, though I understand the process of feeling that way at times like this.

May he contract a protracted bout of festering boils on his genitalia. :p

[Fuzzy]

Thanks so much guys. I feel like a total dumbass right now. :( I'm so glad to have this place to come to. I love you guys.

Only you (can prevent forest fires) can make yourself feel that way. (like a dumb donkey) at least you found him out, before he reappeared and made up some sob story.

[Isa]

Everyone has more or less expressed my thoughts on the guy in question and his actions. I'll just say keep your head up and hang in there.

[Phalloidium]

In the words of Chef from South Park: "When a man loves a woman and a woman loves a man, sometimes a man only acts like he loves a woman to get some action."

I think it's dishonourable to be unclear about one's intentions though... just randomly going incommunicado like that is cowardly.

[BeaBea]

Ouch! Sorry babe, sending big hugs your way!

From what I have read of your posts it's him that's the fool here. He's missing out on an articulate, well informed, funny woman and he doesn't even realise it.

I know it wont help much but we have ALL been there. I've been (and will probably continue to be) so dumb over men it makes my face burn with embarrassment just thinking about it.

Anyway, hugs!

Love Tracey

www.beabea.co.uk

[shy guy]

What in a ''Blue Hell'' is wrong with this guy!!!!!:mad: I would never do that to my GF ever!!!!:mad:...EVER!!!!!!:mad: not telling you ''whats what'' is wrong. Herin I just want let you know that you are a AWESOME!!!!!! person your smart,funny,very nice and if you don't mind me saying this SUPER CUTE!!!!!:cool: ;) :smitten: :wubu: I guess what I'm trying to say is it's his loss...later

[dreamer72fem]

Aww Herin I am sorry to hear that. He doesn't deserve you...and he must be a MORON. *HUGS*
Stacey

[Echoes]

Dude... me, you, that male strip club around Baton Rouge I'm always hearing so much about...

What say you?

[Miss Vickie]

Thanks so much guys. I feel like a total dumbass right now. :( I'm so glad to have this place to come to. I love you guys.

Aw, shoot, that sucks. But you shouldn't feel bad -- you did nothing wrong other than share your heart with someone and trust them. HE'S the one who should feel bad about himself. I hope he does, but sadly, people who pull crap like that usually don't think about how it will affect other people and go through life blissfully unaware of the emotional damage left in their wake.

Can I beat him up for ya? *makes puny, pathetic little fists*

[herin]

Thanks everyone for their kind words. Y'all are the best. Tara, thursday night. . .Texas club in BR. . .all male review? Oh hell yes! :D Shy. . .no I don't mind you saying that at all! :wubu: Dreamer, I'm thinking that he *must* be a moron. Beabea, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one without a clue regarding men. ;) Vickie, that's the thing that sucks so much. He probably doesn't even know how upset I am. :mad: Phalloidium, I don't know, he didn't get much "action". . .maybe that's part of the problem? Isa, Fuzzy and Tina, again thank you.

[Michelle]

Aw, shoot, that sucks. But you shouldn't feel bad -- you did nothing wrong other than share your heart with someone and trust them. HE'S the one who should feel bad about himself. I hope he does, but sadly, people who pull crap like that usually don't think about how it will affect other people and go through life blissfully unaware of the emotional damage left in their wake.

Absolute truth, Vickie (keep wanting to type Siren), and their behavior usually fits a pattern they repeat over and over. Herin, I'm sorry to hear you had to suffer an ass like that.

Edited to close quote.

[Miss Vickie]

Absolute truth, Vickie (keep wanting to type Siren), and their behavior usually fits a pattern they repeat over and over. Herin, I'm sorry to hear you had to suffer an ass like that.

Honey, you can call me Siren. You can call me anything. Just not late for lunch, 'k? ;) And yeah, I hate hearing about people (men AND women) pulling shit like that. You want out of a relationship? Fine. But at least have the stones to be honest and upfront about it. Hiding is so very very... pathetic. I almost typed childish but in my experience, kids can be very brave.

[Thrifty McGriff]

Yet another example why my gender can be absolute assholes.

Quoted for truth.

[BBW Betty]

Herin, I'm so sorry. To echo a few others, he's the dumbass, not you.

I'm a trusting soul myself, and have ended up hurt a few times. But I honestly believe it's better go through life this way than to be the jerk.

Glad it sounds like you're not giving up on all guys, though. Just reading through some of these responses should tell you there are some winners out there, too.

[bigsexy920]

I guess with some people men and women a like "forever" means "till I'm done".

I'm sorry you are going through this, I've been there myself. Chin up, sounds like he's not worth you fretting over.

[herin]

Thanks ladies. I'm doing better today. I sent him an email last night baisically saying I wish he could have been a man about it. That I didn't hate him, I was just very disapointed. I told him he was rude and inconsiderate and then asked him how it felt to know that he'd thrown away the best woman he would ever know. I put a read receipt on it so I know he read it today.

I dunno, it helped me to kinda get some closure, sorta get the last word in. :rolleyes: And no, I haven't given up on men. ;) I know I have alot to offer and said man would be very lucky to have me. It's just. . .if I hadn't caught him in this lie, how long would I have stayed? I know the answer to that and it's just sad. I'm just so ready to settle down and I thought I'd met my future spouse. I'm ready to be a wife and a mommy.

I just want to thank everybody who posted here with their kind and wise words. And a special thank you to those who kept me on IM this weekend to keep me out of my head. You guys are the best. :kiss2:

[RedHead]

Awwww Erin....I am so sorry to hear this. Some people just don't have any courtesy or courage to do the right thing. Karma will get him though!

((((Big Hug))))

[EvilPrincess]

It sounds like a "post break-up", boys are yucky throw rocks at them, pajama-party, movie fest, is in order. I'll bring the oreos, iceream, and bourbon.

[MisticalMisty]

I'm just so ready to settle down and I thought I'd met my future spouse. I'm ready to be a wife and a mommy.

My heart aches for you chica. I'd love nothing more to fall in love again and start a family, but it seems like the more I want it..the further away it all seems. It's especially hard having a niece..and everyone around me being pregnant.

I really don't have any advice for you. I went thru something similar with my last bf 5 years ago. It was totally out of the blue and I was ready to say I Do and he said that he didn't want anything I did and then 4 months later he was married..etc.

Take some time to be angry, hurt and resentful..and then..be "reborn." I'm sure you know what you want and what you want in a guy..don't settle..it's hard being lonely somedays..but lonely is better than finding another guy to treat you the exact same way.

You're a beautiful woman, and from what I read any guy would be lucky to have you. Chin up grasshopper...we're due ;)

[Timberwolf]

Yet another example why my gender can be absolute assholes.I agree! *grrrowwwl*

[TheSadeianLinguist]

I'm sorry, Herin. My last ex was an ass too. After forgiving him for cheating, he kept BRAGGING about it, in front of me. Then he grabbed our mutual friend's ass, and said it was her fault, and tried to make me mad at HER! Hilarious part is when I broke it off, I remember very clearly, it was Sept 11, 2004, sitting outside underneath the dogwood trees, he was exclaiming he didn't want it to end. And why? I meant a lot to him, and it wasn't that easy to get laid when you were almost thirty and nothing but a professional student and binge drinker and a cheater AND ugly. (No duh.)

He stalked me for a bit afterwards too. I was an absolute bitch after tolerating it for two weeks. I borrowed a handgun from a friend and clarified I wanted nothing to do with him.

I won't tell you that "there's a person out there for you." I don't know that. I don't know that for myself. What I do know is you can be happy without someone if you commit yourself to happiness. I've proven to myself that I can get on a career path and save serious money. I know I'm attractive, smart, creative, and stand out of the crowd, and you know what, if someone I like can't appreciate that, no hard feelings. Would I like to have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Well, yeah, but it's SO not the biggest thing in my life right now.

[mottiemushroom]

Sorry to hear you have been hurt hun - your only "crime" was to love & trust. But remember two things:

1. He has only beaten you IF you let his actions stop you from loving & trusting other people who come into your life.

2. Natural justice is a wonderful thing & it WILL happen without you doing anything (most likely not as soon as you would like it to be, but definately when it is likely to have the most impact on his life !!!!).

How do i know these things??? Cos like you & many others i have had the same happen to me - but boy does it feel good to have moved on & then to find out he got his comeuppance without any stain on my conscience :D

[Jane]

Awwww Erin....I am so sorry to hear this. Some people just don't have any courtesy or courage to do the right thing. Karma will get him though!

((((Big Hug))))
Did I tell you I'm SERIOUSLY thinking about changing my name to Karma....just because Karma is a.....

[Boteroesque Babe]

Supremely limpdick way to treat someone, Herin, and I'm sorry you had to go through it. You'll walk away from this a bit wiser, and lucky you didn't put more time in than you did.

Stay strong. And wish him a case of chemical resistant pubic lice. (I'll send my crabs vibes his way, too.)

[JoyJoy]

Take some time to be angry, hurt and resentful..and then..be "reborn." I'm sure you know what you want and what you want in a guy..don't settle..it's hard being lonely somedays..but lonely is better than finding another guy to treat you the exact same way.

You're a beautiful woman, and from what I read any guy would be lucky to have you. Chin up grasshopper...we're due ;)

This is something I will never, ever understand, but is quite common on the internet. It's so easy to create feelings in a relationship and then, if one change one's feelings or see things a different way, avoid the often painful (or at least uncomfortable) confrontation. It's extremely frustrating, not to mention rude and cowardly, when someone won't give the resolution we deserve, at the very least. I confess I've made a fool of myself in the past, attempting to force someone to confront me with reasons why they no longer are interested....not because I couldn't accept that it was over, but because I needed them to just *say it*...even if it hurt...bringing a finality to it all. What I've learned:

a) trying to force someone to do something they aren't inclined to do is only serving to convince them that they made the right choice :rolleyes:
b) the only person I have any control of is myself (and that's questionable, because I am a stubborn gal) and beating my head against a wall trying to change that only hurts me.
c) (from the other perspective) It's very difficult to tell someone the honest truth when it's not flattering and potentially hurtful, and that's probably why so many people have a hard time facing someone in these circumstances.

Not to say that you're doing any of the above, but it's very natural to want "closure", and it doesn't sound like he's giving it to you. Everyone who has already said so is exactly right: You are absolutely beautiful, and deserve better treatment..and there *is* a man out there who will treat you like gold! Until then, keep your chin up, and lean on us!