Yes, I am a BAD American

[AndyF150]

I got sent this in an email today and thought enough of it to post it here. It's amazing that I actually agree with 100% of what is written here. I don't usually feel that way about some of the stuff that George Carlin has said in the past.

*YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN* by George Carlin

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary, be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever cancelled Jerry Springer.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I think cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good..... and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
And what is going on with gas prices... again?
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
We need our country back!

[JudgeDredd425]

I got sent this in an email today and thought enough of it to post it here. It's amazing that I actually agree with 100% of what is written here. I don't usually feel that way about some of the stuff that George Carlin has said in the past.

*YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN* by George Carlin

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary, be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever cancelled Jerry Springer.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I think cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good..... and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
And what is going on with gas prices... again?
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
We need our country back!



I like it because it's true!

[Wayne_Zitkus]

Sorry, Andy. This piece of crap has been proven false, according to the Snopes Urban Legend web site:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/carlin.asp

Whenever I get something like that in my e-mail, I always check it on Snopes. If they've proven it false, I use "Reply to All" to send the Snopes link back up the line.

That's why my co-workers stopped sending me these stupid things - I was always finding them in Snopes and proving them false.

[swordchick]

Sorry, Andy. This piece of crap has been proven false, according to the Snopes Urban Legend web site:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/carlin.asp

Whenever I get something like that in my e-mail, I always check it on Snopes. If they've proven it false, I use "Reply to All" to send the Snopes link back up the line.

That's why my co-workers stopped sending me these stupid things - I was always finding them in Snopes and proving them false.

The same thing has happened to me and I do the same thing. I like to make sure that I'm spreading the truth before I send it to my friends.

[bigsexy920]

Is it false in that George didnt say it?

Looks like someone did so I guess in a way it makes it real, even if it wasnt George Carlin.

[FitChick]

I don't care WHO said it, its TRUE!

[swordchick]

Someone did write it, but it wasn't George Carlin. It has been changed from the original. It's just someone's opinion.

[HappyFatChick]

That's a very soft, mild version of what I believe.
And I normally don't care about what George Carlin has to say, but this was good.

[dan]

There is No WAY Carlin said it. He is a Hard Core Left Wing commi type...I really do like it .

[GWARrior]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Its funny when someone gets proven wrong!!!

[Turin]

Despite it's origins, it is easily agreeable. And clearly this is NOT George Carlin, at least not the george Carlin that I have ever seen.

[AndyF150]

Sorry, Andy. This piece of crap has been proven false, according to the Snopes Urban Legend web site:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/carlin.asp

Whenever I get something like that in my e-mail, I always check it on Snopes. If they've proven it false, I use "Reply to All" to send the Snopes link back up the line.

That's why my co-workers stopped sending me these stupid things - I was always finding them in Snopes and proving them false.

I didn't even know snopes.com existed. Thanks for the heads up.

[AndyF150]

There is No WAY Carlin said it. He is a Hard Core Left Wing commi type...I really do like it .

It kind of suprised me when I read it. I didn't think George Carlin was so "progressive". ;)

[moonvine]

I'm sure this will fall on deaf ears, but could we have a moratorium on posting email spam here? Particularly email spam that has been in Snopes for years?

[toni]

Carlin or not, this is an excellent piece.

[Seth Warren]

Carlin or not, this is an excellent piece.

No it isn't. It's a mindless rant.

[swordchick]

No it isn't. It's a mindless rant.
You are absolutely correct.

[toni]

No it isn't. It's a mindless rant.

Oh is it???
Do you not see any good points in it?

[ScreamingChicken]

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.



It's fake? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!(refer to profile)

[Wayne_Zitkus]

Oh is it???
Do you not see any good points in it?
All I see is a lot of hate-filled drivel. And whoever write it was apparantly so ashamed of it, they didn't even claim authorship - instead, they tried to claim that George Carlin wrote it.

Here's what George has posted on his web site regarding drivel like this:

DON'T BLAME ME

Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. Don't blame me.

Some are essay-length, some are just short lists of one and two-line jokes, but if they're flyin' around the Internet, they're probably not mine. Occasionally, a couple of jokes on a long list might have come from me, but not often. And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it.

And that's the problem. I want people to know that I take care with my writing, and try to keep my standards high. But most of this "humor" on the Internet is just plain stupid. I guess hard-core fans who follow my stuff closely would be able to spot the fake stuff, because the tone of voice is so different. But a casual fan has no way of knowing, and it bothers me that some people might believe I'd actually be capable of writing some of this stuff.


"PARADOX OF OUR TIME"

One of the more embarrassing items making the internet/e-mail rounds is a sappy load of shit called "The Paradox of Our Time." The main problem I have with it is that as true as some of the expressed sentiments may be, who really gives a shit? Certainly not me.

I figured out years ago that the human species is totally fucked and has been for a long time. I also know that the sick, media-consumer culture in America continues to make this so-called problem worse. But the trick, folks, is not to give a fuck. Like me. I really don't care. I stopped worrying about all this temporal bullshit a long time ago. It's meaningless. (See the preface of "Braindroppings.")

Another problem I have with "Paradox" is that the ideas are all expressed in a sort of pseudo-spiritual, New-Age-y, "Gee-whiz-can't-we-do-better-than-this" tone of voice. It's not only bad prose and poetry, it's weak philosophy. I hope I never sound like that.


HOW TO SPOT A FAKE

Here's a rule of thumb, folks: Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it came from one of my albums, books, HBO shows, or appeared on my website. If you see something with my name on it, and you really need to find out if it's mine, post a question on my bulletin board . But only if it's really important to you; don't fuck around with me for a lark.

http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/dontblame.html

[rainyday]

I'm sure this will fall on deaf ears, but could we have a moratorium on posting email spam here? Particularly email spam that has been in Snopes for years?

But this would deny the other side (whichever it is) the chance to say, "You kerfluffling idiot! That’s a fake propaganda piece entirely fabricated by your side to mislead and it says so here. So there!" I like continuity in things and I’d kind of miss that.

[Wayne_Zitkus]

I don't care WHO said it, its TRUE!
It's hate-filled garbage. If you agree with it, then you must be harboring some hate as well, IMHO.

[ScreamingChicken]

It's hate-filled garbage. If you agree with it, then you must be harboring some hate as well, IMHO.
But what if you agree with SOME of it?

[Wayne_Zitkus]

But what if you agree with SOME of it?
There were enough hate-filled statements in there for me to disregard the whole piece as worthless garbage. Especially since the Snopes site proved that George Carlin had nothing to do with it, and the author was apparantly so ashamed of it that he (or she) didn't bother putting their name on it.

[Tina]

I think that's really reaching, Wayne, and I wouldn't make such a broad statement that if people agree with it that they are haters. Crappy thing to say.

Okay, here's mine:

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, but I do believe in taxes and in paying my share. This helps to fund the upkeep of my country and help for the less fortunate.

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, nor does it make you a smart American. It just is, but the laws in place should be tightly enforced.

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything -- beyond affirmative action-like assistance, which I find to often be necessary for some sort of semblance of equal footing.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English. -- I agree with this, even though it comes off as snarky. We are an English-speaking nation, and while not everyone speaks the language, I do expect to be able to make transactions in English.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to -- as long as it is not instituted as a group prayer held on public property. Personal prayers? Well, one can pray to themselves anywhere, right?

My heroes are Sojourner Truth, Jimmy Carter, FDR, and whoever cancelled Jerry Springer.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already -- no, you shut up. There is a price to pay for enriching this land off of the blood, sweat and heartache of those who were brought here against their will. If that means that because of long-term, ongoing institutionalized racism that blacks need help with funding for decent schools and not living in shacks, they should get it. It's the least that could be done, as that 40 Acres and Mule promise was complete bullshit.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one? -- No, you cannot. Yeah, in some ways he's become a parody of himself, but the man has made some real and positive changes. You don't like him, well, I think Ralph Reed is a whiny little pissant who hasn't done diddly for anyone. At least Jackson has. We're never going to have people -- connected to religion *or* government that we all agree are wonderful. We just have to live with it and are allowed our opinions.

I think cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are. Certainly, as long as it's "regardless" and not "because of."

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good..... -- yep, it makes sense. and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money. -- eh. God doesn't seem to be so fond of money, now, does he. Odd, and crappy, that we'd pay tribute that way.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years. Maybe. But I definitely vote absentee ballot so those infernal, hackable Diebold machines cannot alter my vote.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents. A village doesn't hurt -- that's called community and family. Lots of single parent homes now, and the more people that care about a child, the better off that child will be.

And what is going on with gas prices... again? About $3.45 a gallon now and it stinks.

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
We need our country, and government back!

[Sandie_Zitkus]

I think that's really reaching, Wayne, and I wouldn't make such a broad statement that if people agree with it that they are haters. Crappy thing to say.




I'm not getting involved in this political discussion - however Tina I don't think Wayne said what you are accusing him of - at least that I can see.:confused:

[Tina]

It's hate-filled garbage. If you agree with it, then you must be harboring some hate as well, IMHO.

Hi Sandie. I'd just like to see a bit less of this sort of thing going back and forth between people. I believe we can all do better than continuing this way. I don't think it's up to anyone to say who is harboring hate, based upon a silly, mis-attributed errant email. That's all.

[Sandie_Zitkus]

Hi Sandie. I'd just like to see a bit less of this sort of thing going back and forth between people. I believe we can all do better than continuing this way. I don't think it's up to anyone to say who is harboring hate, based upon a silly, mis-attributed errant email. That's all.

I get that loud and clear Tina - that's why I am staying away from posting here. I get my buttons pushed too easily. Politics gets too nasty for me.

Wayne and I talk about this stuff everyday. And honestly I tell him to tone it down - but hey - I'm just his wife!! LOL

[Tina]

Hey, I know and understand (I have a hot Italian temper, too, if I'm pushed too far). :p

And you're not each other's keepers. I can imagine how difficult it would be for a Liberal to live in ConservativeLand and to hear the stuff that one hears daily and not want to blow off steam. But still. :D

[Jack Skellington]

I got sent this in an email today

That should be a warning flag right there.

People, listen to Wayne. When ever you get forwarded something in an email please, PLEASE check snopes first before forwarding to someone or posting it on a message board.

[ScreamingChicken]

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, keep the taxing and spending to a minimum and I'll do the same about my complaining[ when you do it.

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you someone who I would not want to piss off.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything except dignity and respect.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.If you can't , then who put you in a position where we both just end up frustrated?
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God in the house of worship of their choice or not at all.
My heroes are those that have shown me how to be a good husband and father.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake , just let me enjoy it for what it is.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks .
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. He has turned himself into a mockery. Unfortunately, He is not the only man of faith to be seduced by notoriety and power.
I think cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good..... and I couldn't care less that "God" is written on my money.

I think if you are too ignorant to know how a ballot works, it scares me that you could bedeciding as towho will be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I believe that it doesn't takejust a village to raise a child, it takes two parents and a village.
And what is going on with gas prices... again?
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
We need our countrygovernment and sanity back!