Call me crazy but?

[xysoseriousx]

Am I an FA if for a while I can't stand BBW's or SSBBW's, but at one time all I can do is look at pictures of BBW's or SSBBW's?

[AnnMarie]

You're probably a very self-conflicted fetishist, although possibly someone who genuinely likes large women, who is unable to come to terms with his own feelings and turns that turmoil into dislike/hatred for the thing which causes that conflict. You wouldn't be the first.

If you sometimes can't stand us, please be sure to keep yourself away from real women until you're able to come to terms with your own preferences. You, in that state of flux, are a loaded gun around another person.

[LillyBBBW]

Am I an FA if for a while I can't stand BBW's or SSBBW's, but at one time all I can do is look at pictures of BBW's or SSBBW's?

You are the second person I've met who has said this. I don't have anything to tell you but you're not the only one who experiences this. I just wanted to tell you that before the beatings start.

ETA: I've at times wondered if it wasn't some form or manifestation of BDSM desire? I've known people who've had similar feelings of duality but in a totally different desire category.

[CastingPearls]

You are the second person I've met who has said this. I don't have anything to tell you but you're not the only one who experiences this. I just wanted to tell you that before the beatings start.

ETA: I've at times wondered if it wasn't some form or manifestation of BDSM desire? I've known people who've had similar feelings of duality but in a totally different desire category.
I think you're on to something because I've come across a few myself who've expressed this. And I've often wondered if those who are the most vociferous anti-fat individuals are indeed very conflicted FAs who just can't or won't come to terms with their attraction.

[xysoseriousx]

I know I am attracted to BBW's, but I don't know why. That was what I meant to say, but it came out wrong.

[AnnMarie]

I know I am attracted to BBW's, but I don't know why. That was what I meant to say, but it came out wrong.

Lol, wow!! If that's what you meant you really did get that all wrong. I'm not sure you really did, maybe you just have some posting regret? Either way, it's ok. There's nothing wrong with asking questions to try to figure things out.

If this post is the case, don't question why. You don't question why you like certain songs or food, you just know you do. Preference is just part of us. Just enjoy what you enjoy. :)

[xysoseriousx]

Thanks. :)

[LillyBBBW]

Thanks. :)

I felt that way about myself growing up if that sheds any light. I didn't want to be fat. I did everything I could not to be and was ashamed of myself for it. Behind closed doors was another story. I stood tall and was deviantly proud of what I saw in the mirror. I felt very conflicted between being crippled with shame and being extremely vain and somewhat conceited about my curves. I still have my moments but it doesn't scare and confuse me as much as it used to. Could it just be a mood thing?

[xysoseriousx]

I felt that way about myself growing up if that sheds any light. I didn't want to be fat. I did everything I could not to be and was ashamed of myself for it. Behind closed doors was another story. I stood tall and was deviantly proud of what I saw in the mirror. I felt very conflicted between being crippled with shame and being extremely vain and somewhat conceited about my curves. I still have my moments but it doesn't scare and confuse me as much as it used to. Could it just be a mood thing?

That was actually a pretty good example, I think it might have to do with moods. Because I am not ashamed to be with BBW's, as that I have had 4-5 girlfriends in the 200's, and a few in the 300's, but it never pans out right for me.

[willowmoon]

That was actually a pretty good example, I think it might have to do with moods. Because I am not ashamed to be with BBW's, as that I have had 4-5 girlfriends in the 200's, and a few in the 300's, but it never pans out right for me.

Maybe not sexually compatible, is that a possibility?

[xysoseriousx]

That's what I am thinking it is, and I don't want it to come down to that.

[LillyBBBW]

That was actually a pretty good example, I think it might have to do with moods. Because I am not ashamed to be with BBW's, as that I have had 4-5 girlfriends in the 200's, and a few in the 300's, but it never pans out right for me.

Speaking only for myself I know that I have a chemical imbalance. I go through these horrible moods where I hate myself and nothing I ever do is good enough. I know that this is irrational and 100% treatable. It would be a simple matter... IF I were 120 pounds. If I were relatively normal or average A doctor would say, "O you poor thing these feelings are irrational and here is a bag of pills for you to take good luck." But because I'm over 400 pounds a doctor is going to say, "OMG no wonder you feel so bad with yo' fatass let me get Jenny Craig on line 4 and see if we can help you." I'd literally have to fight with the doctors to stop looking at my ass and keep them on track but their approach sort of confounds the issue and screws me up more. A doc may treat me anyway while scolding me subliminally for my weight. With the treatment I may do marginally better but there will always be this underlying theme of, "Well why aren't you losing any weight?" Weight loss becomes the proof that the therapy is working, not how I feel. If I feel good but dont lose enough to their liking then it seems clear to them the therapy isn't a success and they want to start playing with drugs. I've had to deal with that a few times and it was very frustrating. So much so that I decided to chuck the whole thing and just muddle through. I have enough to worry about without the added drama of dreading my doctor confrontations.

Bet you didn't want to know all that? lol But anyway, I think that if it gets really uncomfortable for you then you should see someone. At least you can go in and not be specific about your desires in case the doc has some hidden bias or fascination with your desire for fat women. With me they won't assume I am a healthy 120 pound woman because of what I say. For me I have to go through the same regurgitant weight loss expedition over and over and will be labeled a deluded psycho is I refuse. I'm not saying that this is your problem but if after a while you suspect that it is, don't linger on in it if you don't have to.

[superodalisque]

props to the op for admitting his inner conflict and being honest about it. you aren't alone. its a 1st and genuine step toward resolving it for yourself. i wish everyone knew it was okay to go through any stages you have to to resolve how you really are feeling at this moment in time. and like AnnMarie said, just make sure not to hurt anyone while you are in flux.

as for the knowing why part-i think its a back peddle;). if you're attracted you really don't need to know why unless there is some kind of a problem with it. i don't think guys ask themselves why they like boobs or hips or blonde hair or brown eyes. they just know they do and are glad to see it when it comes their way.

[xysoseriousx]

props to the op for admitting his inner conflict and being honest about it. you aren't alone. its a 1st and genuine step toward resolving it for yourself. i wish everyone knew it was okay to go through any stages you have to to resolve how you really are feeling at this moment in time. and like AnnMarie said, just make sure not to hurt anyone while you are in flux.

as for the knowing why part-i think its a back peddle;). if you're attracted you really don't need to know why unless there is some kind of a problem with it. i don't think guys ask themselves why they like boobs or hips or blonde hair or brown eyes. they just know they do and are glad to see it when it comes their way.

I am trying to release my emotions on here in hope of making it feel better in some way. You guys are all great people on here, what you guys say actually helps me alot since I joined a couple of days ago, and the only reason I feel bad for dating bigger women, because they make me happier then skinnier women do, but I have the moods that come in and mess up my thinking making me think since they are bigger they are going to have more health issues and problems, and since my parents don't completely approve me dating bigger women. But there is one thing I can say, you don't not go after something you love because of the problems, you go after something you love because you can't deny that love and why live your life with regrets and say what if?, if I lived my life unhappy married to a skinny girl.



^ That might not make sense as you read it, as to I wrote what I thought.

[Fat Brian]

The supposed health problems of being fat are overblown by the media. There are plenty of cases where being fat is a symptom of another disease, not the cause of disease. Also, lifestyle plays a very big part in overall health. If you eat healthy things most of the time and get some fairly regular exercise you can be healthy at almost any size. Look up the HAES (Health at Every Size) movement for more info.

[jenboo]

Am I an FA if for a while I can't stand BBW's or SSBBW's, but at one time all I can do is look at pictures of BBW's or SSBBW's?

i dont get what you are getting at....

[chicken legs]

I don't know about you.. X, but I'm rather conflicted at times myself. To me, its about self preservation. Considering I'm bisizual, I have come to realize it really doesn't matter what the body type it is or what type of relationship it is. It can be a friend, lover, or both. At times, I just need space to think..lol. To do things that I need to do. Getting wrapped up in the sex and/or needs/wants of another (or even yourself) isn't healthy.

[Adrian]

Am I an FA if for a while I can't stand BBW's or SSBBW's, but at one time all I can do is look at pictures of BBW's or SSBBW's?
To me, it really sounds like on some level or levels, you have some conflict about being an FA. How many people in your world (family members, neighbors, friends, work-mates, etc.) know you are an FA? How would people in any of your worlds would re-act if they knew you were seriously dating a BBW or SSBBW.

Me personally, I always knew I loved BBWs... I found SSBBW interesting. As it turned out while all knew I like BBWs I was not sure of the world's reaction if I dated an SSBBW. I married a lovely young BBW, who with time and pregnancies became a very, very beautiful SSBBW. I was in heaven because while I had always considered my wife beautiful, as an SSBBW I felt she was more beautiful as an SSBBW! Looking back at that period of time, it was THE MOST exciting period of time in my life!
My wife did not want to get any larger but, as she grew larger, I was usually the first to buy her new (and improved) size clothing. Outer clothing and lingerie!

[Blockierer]

Am I an FA if for a while I can't stand BBW's or SSBBW's, but at one time all I can do is look at pictures of BBW's or SSBBW's?
Maybe I know what you think and feel. I had times in my life - mostly in the 90th, when I threw away my complete collection of fat pictures, fat magazines, fat videos and everything that reminds me on fat. I prayed "fat girl get out of my mind". :doh: It's a shame. But soon after that, the fat girls always came back in my mind. It was hopeless.*lol*
I'm a professed FA for 11 years now, in this time I've never had the desire to change or to forget my preference. Now I love it. My preference for fatties is one aspect of my personality and I am much more than an FA. only :D
My advice is, love what you are, don't hide it, don't try to change it, enjoy it. Fat admiration is forever.:D

[thirtiesgirl]

Am I an FA if for a while I can't stand BBW's or SSBBW's, but at one time all I can do is look at pictures of BBW's or SSBBW's?

My advice: rather than worry about labels and whether you're this label or that, spend some time reflecting on what it is about the fat women you've dated and/or spent time with that you disliked. Something other than their body shape and size. Was there some aspect or aspects of their personality or world view that just didn't gel with you? Were they more extroverted and you're more introverted? Were they looking for a hook-up and you were interested in a more serious connection? Did you share some cultural interests, or was she all crazy about line dancing when you just wanted to hang out at the hip hop club?

Looking at pictures and getting aroused is one thing. Liking people for who they are and finding a partner who's a good match for you is another. I can look at pics of actor Vince Vaughn and replay scenes from his movie Swingers all day and get turned on like an electric stove. But from what I hear, the guy's personal life is a hot mess, so he's not someone I'd want to date, and I avoid dating guys like him. If I find someone who kind of looks like Vince Vaughn and is a good match for me, I'd be in hog heaven. But the likelihood of that happening is slim to none, so I concentrate on meeting guys who are better matches for me when it comes to personality and interests, who don't necessarily fulfill a specific physical type.

[FatAndProud]

umm...I don't know why you'd want this...but....

You're a crazy butt.

There. I called you a crazy butt.

[SuperGuyver]

I`m like that too.I`m not sure if I want to gain or not.I wouldn`t mind doing it for a girl who wanted to gain with me,however.

[EvilPrincess]

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[natepogue]

Liking big girls makes you a bad ass. And you can rest assured that's coming from a major bad ass.

[trackstar]

Am I an FA if for a while I can't stand BBW's or SSBBW's, but at one time all I can do is look at pictures of BBW's or SSBBW's?

I remember when I was pre-teen, and just starting to get a sex drive, that I would tease people mercilessly about weight. And that I myself was very weight conscious, even as a guy. All the while, my attraction to wg, and heavier people was becoming clearer to myself. I eventually kind of grew out of it once I accepted it, and understood it.

I think of it kind of like the neighbor military father in American Beauty. He is prejudice against gay men, and all the while he is gay. Its interesting to think if he actually felt the hate (kind of as a hate for his own conflict, being embodied by other gay men), or if the hate was an act.