Will you date a transperson? [Archive]

Cors

09-25-2010, 09:55 PM

I figured that I might as well post this since we have a few awesome queer transfolk here.

One of my best friends has sank into a deep depression lately. The cause? She is a pre-op MtF who identifies as a lesbian, has lived as a woman for more than six years and is completely cool with her identity and was even active in GLBTQ activism. Despite her being gorgeous, intelligent, sweet, utterly loveable and a great catch in so many ways, the women she meets almost always lose interest once they find out that she is not a biological woman and sadly, most are not exactly kind about it. Not that it matters much, but she passes well and does not actively try to hide the fact that she is not a biological woman to potential love interests - she doesn't always tell them the first time she encounters them, be it online, in person or on the first date but certainly way before they get intimate so no penile surprise for the unsuspecting there. Apart from me (we dated for eighteen months a few years ago and it ended for reasons unrelated to gender or sexuality), the women who do show interest in her date or sleep with her because it is a safe way of trying something new, because they are curious in general or simply have a fetish for girls with cocks. Her main issue with it is that all of these people see her as a tranny first, woman second if at all and she is upset about feeling like she does not having a decent chance at love compared to cisgender people or transpeople who identify as heterosexual or bisexual.

In addition, lesbians in general are pretty hostile towards transwomen in general. She is obviously upset about not belonging and lately has latched on to how it is unfair that it more acceptable to for lesbians to date "men with cunts" than "women with cocks" and in her mind, lesbians should be more interested in female-gendered individuals than people who own vags. She does not get along with most other transwomen either because of their heavy emphasis on passing, the "right" way to be trans and their lack of understanding for her sexuality. We have many friends who are cool with transpeople but they have said that they would probably not date one and recently, she has taken that as a personal affront. She doesn't like "tranny chasers" because she feels objectified by them (most of the ones we come across have the whole "fuck a ladyboy but marry a woman" mentality - sounds familiar?). I tried to draw parallels between them and "fat admirers" but she believes that it is something different entirely and she has no problems with my love for her jiggly belly.

For the transpeople:
Do you face similar problems and how do you deal with them? How do you feel about "chasers"? Any positive romantic stories to share?

For the others (queer or straight, doesn't matter):
Will you consider dating a trans person and how do you see them in general?

CarlaSixx

09-25-2010, 11:43 PM

This is something I've thought about asking, too, so thank you for bringing it up. This and things involving this.

I would date someone who is transgendered if there was a connection. And support them through whatever they need to go through if they're pre-op and getting to the point of surgery. I think it's the emotional side that matters the most.

I had, at one point, crushed on someone who passed so well as a girl. She was pre-op and she identified as straight. I only truly found that out when she started flirting with a friend of mine while she was drunk. Then had a long talk in the morning. We're still friends now but I think I would have liked to date her had she been interested in women.

I think if people were more accepting of transgendered people on the whole, there wouldn't be as much using and abusing going on. Everyone deserves love, after all.

SuperSizedAngie

09-26-2010, 12:05 AM

I have dated the transgendered, and will continue to date them (if they'll let me!)

I identify as pansexual. I love the person, not the shell they're in. I think that makes it easier for me to see the gender and not the genitalia of those I'm with. Girls with cocks? Bring them on, baby!

My longest dating experience involved a MtF trans who identified as a lesbian. It was very easy for me to see her as a her and to interact with her as I would any other female (that I was sleeping with ;) ). Much fun was had by all.

The only annoying thing was when she gained enough weight to fit into all of my clothes... and then she started borrowing them, only for them to get lost in the abyss that was her closet.

Ample Pie

09-26-2010, 01:03 AM

Yes, if we got on. I can't think of anymore I'd add to that except I'm sorry for your friend and hope things improve.

jewels_mystery

09-26-2010, 01:11 AM

I would date her/him with no problem. I date the person not their gender.

Gingembre

09-26-2010, 04:49 PM

I would date a tranny. I identify as pansexual when pressed to label myself, although I tend not to be attracted to girlie girls, so most MTFs usually don't do for me. However, that's not to say I would never fall for a MTF and, if i did, I would definitely see her as her and what's between the lady's legs wouldn't matter. :)

sowhat

09-26-2010, 04:59 PM

For the transpeople:
Do you face similar problems and how do you deal with them? How do you feel about "chasers"? Any positive romantic stories to share?

I honestly have never had a date turn positive (I don't try to date, they've just happened). Eventually they find out and are grossed out or they're interested still because of the oddity. I want it to be a non-issue, not a plus or minus. I am not some f***ing experiment. Please respect me. I'm pretty normal, other than being a bigirl with a cock. That's just a part of the package, not a highlight, not really heavy baggage.

Chasers honestly creep me out. There's a difference between something being a plus or a preference versus being a fixation. I have met one, because I know his wife (she's ts). I felt so dirty, scared and insecure in their house that when I got back in my car I cried uncontrollably for one of maybe 10 times in my life.

Really, the ideal is that my past and my parts are irrelevant. That goes for all aspects of life from employment to relationships.

Ample Pie

09-26-2010, 07:52 PM

bmann0413

09-26-2010, 07:56 PM

I'm straight, and here's my answer: http://i965.photobucket.com/albums/ae132/LuminaOnasi/Smiley%20Faces%20and%20Icons/shrug2.gif

I never really thought about it. I mean, a woman is still a woman, right? Even if that woman used to be a dude? I mean, what's so bad about that?

sowhat

09-26-2010, 08:45 PM

I can't see past or parts being irrelevant for anyone--regardless of who the person is.

Because of my own gender fuckery, I am attracted to other people who've dealt with gender-fuckery things--even if they're things that have been dealt with and are in the past and settled, etc. I'm not a chaser, but I consider any one else who's been through anything where gender and identity have been a (for lack of a better word) question to be one step closer to being someone I could get on with, because at least they get that aspect.

If that makes any sense.

Of course, it isn't a reason upon which to base a relationship because it negates the person themselves, but it can still be important and positive.

I'm ever the pessimist. Ideals, such as my aforementioned one, are really just ends of a spectrum, and I never really believe that ideals are achieved. Mostly because someone's ideal is one person's hellish nightmare.

I don't ever really believe that it will not be an issue, however, I would be happy with it being more of a back burner issue. Yes, it will come up whenever I date, interview for jobs, am evaluated for promotion and more. I just want to have to worry about it less. For some people, I will always be a "dude" and am some kind of freak. I can live with that as long as I just don't have to deal with it very often.

I think where I define a chaser as someone who dehumanizes and objectifies someone with attribute X. I get along better with women who are interested in high fashion, specifically haute couture. But it never has been a fetish for me, and is really just a bonus. I don't want to demonize fetishists, but I am having a hard time wording this.

I like your last comment. It really encompasses my sentiment.

Ample Pie

09-26-2010, 08:58 PM

interview for jobs, am evaluated for promotion and more.
Without sounding too soapboxy, I have to say this is pretty much the case for women full stop. As a woman, your gender is always going to be examined extra closely during these processes--it may be even tougher for someone who wasn't born with the anatomical parts of a woman, because the examination may be closer/more "why would you choose to be a woman??!?!" but it's still there. That never goes away and is, I'm afraid to say, part of being a woman.

sowhat

09-26-2010, 09:36 PM

Without sounding too soapboxy, I have to say this is pretty much the case for women full stop. As a woman, your gender is always going to be examined extra closely during these processes--it may be even tougher for someone who wasn't born with the anatomical parts of a woman, because the examination may be closer/more "why would you choose to be a woman??!?!" but it's still there. That never goes away and is, I'm afraid to say, part of being a woman.

My mom worked as a model (a long time ago lol) and said interviews meant being complicit meat.

When I've had issues, it's never been "why", it has been disgust and unwaivering hatred at what I am. Luckily, I've yet to have an employer have any issues, it's only been people I've gone on dates with or random strangers who found out. The only reason I worry is because I don't have employment protections that women and other groups have. I can be straight up fired for being TS without any repercussions.

Dromond

09-26-2010, 09:36 PM

Interesting that this thread comes up, because someone asked me this question not even a week ago. Up until that point I had never thought about it. Trans folk don't freak me out, so I wouldn't have an issue there. To me a woman is a woman if she thinks she's a woman, so that's not an issue either. The sex part isn't an issue because I can't do intercourse anyway. Damn spinal problems.

I guess if she and I were attracted to each other (and I was single, of course) I'd give it a shot.

Fox

09-26-2010, 09:56 PM

I'm open to it, but I wouldn't prefer to do it.

butch

09-27-2010, 03:37 AM

My mom worked as a model (a long time ago lol) and said interviews meant being complicit meat.

When I've had issues, it's never been "why", it has been disgust and unwaivering hatred at what I am. Luckily, I've yet to have an employer have any issues, it's only been people I've gone on dates with or random strangers who found out. The only reason I worry is because I don't have employment protections that women and other groups have. I can be straight up fired for being TS without any repercussions.

FWIW, so can fat people in most places/situations (get fired withour repercussions). They also get shit on in job interviews and in promotions, and its happened to me.

I guess I'm playing oppression olympics here, so let me be clear, I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's experiences. As a fat genderqueer myself, I struggle with both forms of discrimination in the workplace (and other places), so I never know how much of my treatment is because of one or the other.

As to the OP, well, yes, I do date a trans person, and it is great.

sowhat

09-27-2010, 07:03 PM

FWIW, so can fat people in most places/situations (get fired withour repercussions). They also get shit on in job interviews and in promotions, and its happened to me.

I guess I'm playing oppression olympics here, so let me be clear, I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's experiences. As a fat genderqueer myself, I struggle with both forms of discrimination in the workplace (and other places), so I never know how much of my treatment is because of one or the other.

As to the OP, well, yes, I do date a trans person, and it is great.

I'm not trying to argue either. I like the term you used "oppression olympics", not for any reason other than it is funny. I've said it before, we generally carry a torch for what is close to us. That aside, I'm going to stop posting about this stuff because it seems like I'm playing the victim when I post on this forum and I hate when people do that. Sorry cors for the thread derail, and anyone who wants to continue this, reply, etc; pm me and leave this thread clearer.

lishiyo

09-27-2010, 07:17 PM

Most def. :)

I'm a bi woman who often likes androgynous/genderfuck types, which plenty of MtF women fit under. I probably prefer pre-op, but it doesn't matter (I'm one of those people who just don't find genitalia that interesting in general :blush: I get turned on more by height, facial expression, shoulders etc).

Is she interested in other lesbian transwomen? Maybe a shared background of sorts would help. Not all transwomen are obsessed with passing - I think the heterosexual ones are more likely to try to do so. I agree that the queer community in general, much less broader society, doesn't treat transpeople well :mad:. There aren't that many lesbians even in the bigger cities, so just by numbers, the chance of finding love will be lower than for het and/or cisgender women. That sucks, but there's not much we can do except look more intensely and seize opportunities when they come. I think the obsession with what you look like in bed tends to mellow with age too.

Alicia Rose

09-28-2010, 09:34 AM

I'm trans and bi and am considering giving up attempting dating. People say that being bi gives you a wider dating pool - it really just gives you twice as many people to reject you. :( Though, I've never actually been on a date with someone I wasn't actually involved with, and most of the interested people I've encountered have been either creepy chasers or the 'fuck a ladyboy, marry a reel woman' type.

calauria

10-06-2010, 04:40 PM

Jello404

10-06-2010, 06:20 PM

I would be interested in dating a trans man or female.
I havent before but theres always tomorrow!

Sucks that your buddy has to go threw that shit.
People can be cold.

Jello404

10-06-2010, 06:22 PM

I'm a bisexual woman and yes, I would, date, have a relationship and marry a MTF. The way I see it, I'm looking to fall in love with a person's soul and hope and pray that they will feel the same about me.

I agree with your comment so much. Wish their were more people like this around.Sucks that someone would have to go threw all this craziness to fine ~the one. =/

calauria

10-06-2010, 06:30 PM

Oh yeah!! What was I thinking!! I would definitely date, be in a relationship, and marry FTM, also!!!

Jes

10-07-2010, 08:32 AM

Nope, probably not.

superodalisque

10-07-2010, 02:39 PM

i probably wouldn't either but i'd never say never. i'm generally attracted to the naturally very masculine type so who knows?

Alicia Rose

10-07-2010, 03:57 PM

i probably wouldn't either but i'd never say never. i'm generally attracted to the naturally very masculine type so who knows?

Well, most FtMs tend to be VERY masculine. At least, if my roommate is any indication xD

superodalisque

10-07-2010, 04:02 PM

Well, most FtMs tend to be VERY masculine. At least, if my roommate is any indication xD

if K.D. Lang went male i'd probably have a hard time saying no. she is cute AND talented!

CastingPearls

10-07-2010, 04:03 PM

I'm strictly-dickly and I'd STILL do k.d.lang.

superodalisque

10-07-2010, 04:04 PM

I'm strictly-dickly and I'd STILL do k.d.lang.

see what i mean! hehe;)

Ample Pie

10-07-2010, 05:14 PM

Well, most FtMs tend to be VERY masculine. At least, if my roommate is any indication xD

Yeah, I was going to say "natural masculinity" isn't something that comes, inherently, with having a penis.

Hormones, attitude, and a whole lot of inner thingies can have more influence than equipment.

superodalisque

10-07-2010, 06:33 PM

Yeah, I was going to say "natural masculinity" isn't something that comes, inherently, with having a penis.

Hormones, attitude, and a whole lot of inner thingies can have more influence than equipment.

i definitely can see that;) thats why i totally suspend judgement as to whether i would or not even though i think i'm heterosexual--whatever that means anyway. do you think they could just invent a new designation called personsexual and get rid of all of this bs anyway? then no one would have to decide. they could just be.

Ample Pie

10-07-2010, 06:46 PM

i definitely can see that;) thats why i totally suspend judgement as to whether i would or not even though i think i'm heterosexual--whatever that means anyway. do you think they could just invent a new designation called personsexual and get rid of all of this bs anyway? then no one would have to decide. they could just be.

I'm pansexual (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexual).

superodalisque

10-07-2010, 06:48 PM

I'm pansexual (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexual).

sounds much better:D

CarlaSixx

10-07-2010, 08:26 PM

I always found pansexual kind of a funny word... you know... like a made up one that stands for a fetish for pans or something :p

But to be honest, I know many people who are, and it's very uplifting :) I would say I'm one of them, because to be honest, I don't think I'm any "-sexual" at all. Maybe "asexual panromantic?" lol. I really don't know.

I'll just add it up to me being Odd. Yup. I'm "Odd." There's my thing.

Alicia Rose

10-07-2010, 08:35 PM

I'm pansexual (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexual).

*pansexual high-five*

thatgirl08

10-08-2010, 10:47 PM

I don't think I would, honestly. I don't see myself being attracted to someone who is stereotypically feminine and has a penis or vice versa.. I also don't find myself attracted to people who are not stereotypically masculine or feminine. I'm always drawn to guys who are stereotypically masculine and girls who are stereotypically feminine, which is why I choose the term bisexual over pansexual for myself.

ETA: Sorry I used the word stereotypically 8 million times in this post but I just want to be clear with what I mean by masculine and feminine.

jewels_mystery

10-09-2010, 12:28 AM

I'm pansexual (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexual).

All this time I thought I was bi. I guess I am pansexual. Yet another thing I learned from dims.

superodalisque

10-09-2010, 06:13 AM

I always found pansexual kind of a funny word... you know... like a made up one that stands for a fetish for pans or something :p

.

*pictures pans clanging loudly amongst groans of pleasure* ;)

hellcatt

10-10-2010, 08:06 AM

i LOVE women .................... and i like dick but not into men. ashley george is my latest TS obsession

willowmoon

10-11-2010, 07:15 AM

Jes

10-11-2010, 01:17 PM

Ok, well I just HAD to google Ashley George's name out of curiosity ... she is ridiculously passable ... who would have initially thought that she wasn't biologically female?

uh...me. She looks lovely, for sure, but I disagree with the above.

CarlaSixx

10-11-2010, 01:46 PM

Ok, well I just HAD to google Ashley George's name out of curiosity ... she is ridiculously passable ... who would have initially thought that she wasn't biologically female?

I'm on your side, lol. She's very pretty. I'm sure had I seen her in person, I wouldn't have had a clue.

CastingPearls

10-11-2010, 01:49 PM

i LOVE women .................... and i like dick but not into men. ashley george is my latest TS obsession

Ok, well I just HAD to google Ashley George's name out of curiosity ... she is ridiculously passable ... who would have initially thought that she wasn't biologically female?

uh...me. She looks lovely, for sure, but I disagree with the above.

I'm on your side, lol. She's very pretty. I'm sure had I seen her in person, I wouldn't have had a clue.

At first glance I thought she was a girl from birth. She certainly IS a girl in her mind. And that's all that matters, really.

Ample Pie

10-11-2010, 02:45 PM

and who cares?

jewels_mystery

10-11-2010, 02:47 PM

At first glance I thought she was a girl from birth. She certainly IS a girl in her mind. And that's all that matters, really.

Amen. Nothing more needs to be said.

Alicia Rose

10-11-2010, 07:17 PM

She certainly IS a girl in her mind. And that's all that matters, really.

Hear freakin' hear. :)

Ample Pie

10-12-2010, 08:10 AM

Hear freakin' hear. :)
exactly.

words

LovelyLiz

10-18-2010, 10:32 AM

Just want to share in this thread that I went to a wedding last week where one of the people getting married was a trans man. It was a beautiful ceremony and party, filled with much love and celebration from their community, family, and friends. :)

calauria

10-18-2010, 04:09 PM

All this time I thought I was bi. I guess I am pansexual. Yet another thing I learned from dims.

I know, right!!

butch

10-18-2010, 04:25 PM

LovelyLiz

10-18-2010, 06:14 PM

That is nice to hear. I presume the trans man is out as trans?

Yep. He transitioned semi-recently - so everyone at his job and in his personal life and friend circle has been in the loop. Sorry if it seemed like I was outing someone, was wanted to share about a nice experience.

thirtiesgirl

10-18-2010, 06:27 PM

In all honesty, I don't think I could date a transexual, if I knew he was a transexual. I have to be honest about my hang-ups about it. It's my issue, but I can't deny that it's there. I think I could handle dating a transvestite because I have a bit of a sexual kink about men in women's clothing and a little makeup. I tried to explore it a little bit with an early boyfriend, and while he was willing to do a few things the first couple of times we tried, he wasn't so into it on future attempts, so I didn't continue with it.

butch

10-19-2010, 03:26 AM

Yep. He transitioned semi-recently - so everyone at his job and in his personal life and friend circle has been in the loop. Sorry if it seemed like I was outing someone, was wanted to share about a nice experience.

I wasn't asking to critique, just my own curiousness over whether he wanted to be visible as trans or not. I'm glad you got to be part of that event, and may the couple have a lifetime of happiness.

chicken legs

10-19-2010, 11:16 AM

I wouldn't have a problem dating a dude that looks like a chic. As long as they are not a drama king/queen, I'm cool. When someone is pear shaped I have a tendency of not noticing the gender anyway.

hellcatt

11-05-2010, 03:50 PM

ashley george is my latest TS obsession

ehh she got the awful boob job, not a good look on her

sowhat

11-05-2010, 05:04 PM

I wouldn't have a problem dating a dude that looks like a chic. As long as they are not a drama king/queen, I'm cool. When someone is pear shaped I have a tendency of not noticing the gender anyway.

Not to argue, but what do you mean? Do you mean a passable transvestite or a male to female transsexual?

The only reason I ask is curiosity, not to criticize. I do want to point out to the OP that if you mean a transsexual, calling us a "dude who looks like a chic" is pretty offensive.

On the drama king/queen thing, I love a line I've used before: We transpeople are no more f***ed up than than anyone else.

Alicia Rose

11-06-2010, 10:27 PM

I now AM dating a trans person so I guess that answers that xD

HayleeRose

11-07-2010, 12:53 AM

I would most definitely. I have a big thing for FTM, post op, pre op, no matters.. I haven't dated one before, but I am friends with a few trans people. I consider myself pansexual, so gender/gender ID means nothing to me when it comes down to it.

Ample Pie

11-07-2010, 08:24 AM

I now AM dating a trans person so I guess that answers that xD

Chaser. more letters.

Alicia Rose

11-07-2010, 08:26 AM

Chaser. more letters.

Mrow? I'm not a chaser! ;_;

chicken legs

11-09-2010, 11:33 AM

Not to argue, but what do you mean? Do you mean a passable transvestite or a male to female transsexual?

The only reason I ask is curiosity, not to criticize. I do want to point out to the OP that if you mean a transsexual, calling us a "dude who looks like a chic" is pretty offensive.

On the drama king/queen thing, I love a line I've used before: We transpeople are no more f***ed up than than anyone else.

To clarify.... I have known the definition of tranny as people who identify as, or desire to live and be accepted as, a member of the sex opposite to that assigned at birth. The question of the OP was "Will you date a tranny? I answered (since I am a born female who lives as a female) I would date a dude that looks like a chic..aka.. A born male that looks like a female but still has male genitalia. I said it like that so you would get the clue that I am a female in the first place and live as a female. I didn't want to assume that people on this board are familiar with what gender I am or associate with. Does that help?

Whenever a person looks between the lines of a straight forward statement and sees a novel ..is a drama king/queen. I don't care what gender you are, want to be, or seem like..I don't want to know your complicated butt on a personal level. I have enough going on in my life to worry about and therefore do not need to be around folks with whom you have to walk around on eggshells for. It gets really annoying trying to be with someone who is constantly on a soapbox.

Tanuki

11-09-2010, 05:34 PM

Absolutely.

I am indeed trans and being pansexual and all would date other trans people~

Alicia Rose

11-09-2010, 10:58 PM

Absolutely.

I am indeed trans and being pansexual and all would date other trans people~

Yayy it is you and you are here and not dead :wubu:

Tanuki

11-10-2010, 05:22 PM

Yayy it is you and you are here and not dead :wubu:

Yus and Yus :wubu:

Just been a bit poorly~

sowhat

11-10-2010, 05:32 PM

To clarify.... I have known the definition of tranny as people who identify as, or desire to live and be accepted as, a member of the sex opposite to that assigned at birth. The question of the OP was "Will you date a tranny? I answered (since I am a born female who lives as a female) I would date a dude that looks like a chic..aka.. A born male that looks like a female but still has male genitalia. I said it like that so you would get the clue that I am a female in the first place and live as a female. I didn't want to assume that people on this board are familiar with what gender I am or associate with. Does that help?

Whenever a person looks between the lines of a straight forward statement and sees a novel ..is a drama king/queen. I don't care what gender you are, want to be, or seem like..I don't want to know your complicated butt on a personal level. I have enough going on in my life to worry about and therefore do not need to be around folks with whom you have to walk around on eggshells for. It gets really annoying trying to be with someone who is constantly on a soapbox.

You know what? Nevermind.

<drama queen>
Shockingly, using terms with a history of negative association tends to piss people off. Calling a pre-op male to female transsexual a "dude who looks like a chick" is offensive and invalidating. I realize via reading that you don't care, but honestly think why it might be offensive. Either way, if you want to continue this, can we take it to pm?
</drama queen>

chicken legs

11-11-2010, 05:08 PM

You know what? Nevermind.

<drama queen>
Shockingly, using terms with a history of negative association tends to piss people off. Calling a pre-op male to female transsexual a "dude who looks like a chick" is offensive and invalidating. I realize via reading that you don't care, but honestly think why it might be offensive. Either way, if you want to continue this, can we take it to pm?
</drama queen>

Not everyone is hip to what verbiage is pc and if you really cared about others feelings, you could have started it in pm.

bonified

11-30-2010, 06:37 AM

I have often said I'd like to go out with a MTF, jokingly or smei seriously, and now realising im objectifying like the douche i can be, by thinking about both boobs & wangs, ultra femmininity & strength ooh, the only deterrent apart from my ignorance, would be in my limited experience is the instability, not that im saying its only prevalant amongst trans, just that Im yet to meet one that isnt well shall we say rather flighty.

Noir

12-01-2010, 08:52 AM

A connection is a connection. If it's strong between two people and real then who am I to deny it. Granted, I've only been with bio-girls ( I believe that's the term) but if a tranny came along and we connected on those levels and everything was a green light then yes.

joswitch

01-06-2011, 05:35 PM

*snips*

For the others (queer or straight, doesn't matter):
Will you consider dating a trans person and how do you see them in general?

^Thought about this for a while.
Would I date a transperson? Don't know. Depends.
If I found that person HOTT and vice versa, then yeah, very probably.

Now, I'm a bio-male and my core sexuality is verrry animalistic, so the make or break would probably come down to the whole "pheromone" smell / taste thing. There's people who just do it for me (and how) and those that don't. Which is what is behind my "pickiness" in dating.
To date ALL the people who have done it for me have been bio-female - but, whilst I very, very much love teh pussy, if the wolf in me said "YES" then I don't think I'd say "No".

So I guess I'm kind of open?
Especially since exploring some of my own switchier? minor? flip-side? aspects a little.

How do I see transpeople in general?
I don't tend to think of them in general. The more I've read / thought / seen / learned about trans-folks the more I feel there's such a huge variety of gender / sex / sexuality among them, that it's useless to generalise or assume beyond - transfolks are people. Unique people. And Yays! to that. :)

Dmitra

01-07-2011, 02:54 AM

For me it really comes down to the individual person. Just like with my straight tendencies towards some men there are some bio-women that interest me, some MTF, and some FTM. So, yeah. :)

KittyKitten

01-22-2011, 11:05 PM

I've seen some delicious looking transmen in pictures. I would date a transman.

http://citizenchris.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/12/14/adamdahl.jpg

Tracii

01-23-2011, 12:35 AM

I would date one and have no quams about it.
Being a TS its an easy choice for me.

Alicia Rose

01-23-2011, 05:43 AM

My boyfriend is trans. :wubu:

Bananaspills

01-23-2011, 01:12 PM

I've not been in the situation, but if I met someone who I was attracted to, and later found out they were trans, I don't see any way that it would bother me.
Sorry, I hope this is not offensive, but I'm not very well-versed in the whole trans culture, so if I say something that comes out wrong, forgive me :blush:

I would have absolutely no qualms about dating a post-op transexual. If I click with someone, what do I care who they *used* to be?

I don't think I would have any issues with dating a pre-op transexual (i.e. since I'm a straight girl, say I met some guy who I liked, who then told me he had a vagina,) but not having done it, I can't guarantee how I'd feel about the whole genitalia issue when push comes to shove (ahem... That sounds kinda dirty in the context :D:D) But I have to say I'd be surprised if it bothered me.

I am not into women, sexually, but again, if I found myself attracted to one, I don't see how her being transexual would stop me.

VVET

01-23-2011, 07:20 PM

Do they look attractive (mostly male)
or act attractive (mostly feminine)
That is what matters to attract two people together

BrokenCassette

01-30-2011, 10:07 AM

Being trans/genderqueer myself, it's really amazing to see so many open-minded people with a similar attitude to mine; "If I really like them and feel like I really connect with them, why does it matter what's going on downstairs?"

As other people have also said, I've seen a LOT of transmen who are frickin' hot as hell. I would have absolutely no issues with dating an FTM. (This is probably just my own personal bias, but I often find FTM/MTF couples adorable <3)

Gentleman Zombie

01-30-2011, 03:37 PM

I dated a transwoman for about 18 months, from before her SRS to after. So I'm answering yes.

wannabeafatguy

02-03-2011, 09:04 PM

Yes, I would

JustmeinGA

02-04-2011, 07:16 AM

I have to admit, like another lister, I never really thought about it. But then when I did I had to agree with one of the original replies...the container isn't what matters, it's that connection, that bond, the entire package. If you're lucky enough to find that, hang on to it, because it's a gift, no matter the wrapping paper.

OneWickedAngel

02-04-2011, 11:50 AM

I will date (and have dated) whomever does that magical "something" for me including trans. If our souls touch, nothing else matters.

goofy girl

02-05-2011, 04:41 AM

I will date (and have dated) whomever does that magical "something" for me including trans. If our souls touch, nothing else matters.

yes yes yes yes yes

LivingCanvas

02-05-2011, 12:39 PM

Within my department at the university I attend & work at, we had two individuals come in for teaching and research demonstrations. They were both intersexed. Good lord, upon meeting one of them, I feel instantly into a "school girl" type crush...I hung on her every word. She had a masculine name, dressed in 3-piece suits with a boyish haircut... still makes me swoon just thinking of it. Darn that wedding band me and the other ladies in my grad cohort spotted... =)

Also, I'm friends with someone who's going through the hormone therapy, etc but isn't too sure if she wants to have the surgery. She's been weighing the pros and cons for a while now and hasn't reached a decision. However, we've joked about making a pact, of sorts, that if neither one of us is married by a particular age, we'll get hitched and pop out a couple gorgeous babies. We've been friends since before she started talking hormones, etc. And I've felt a physical (and mental) attraction since before she started owning her feminine identity. ...definitely sexy whether male or female.

So, I think that'd be a yes! =)

Love is love is love. No matter what the outward shell looks like.

wannabeafatguy

02-05-2011, 08:24 PM

Big problem for Me, is I've not found one in My area.

PinkRodery

02-06-2011, 07:49 PM

Yes, I definitely would.

russianrobot

02-07-2011, 11:01 AM

hmmm, well maybe if they had been to Tuscon or maybe Tucumcari,
Tehachapi is okay and I would accept Tonapah

Gentleman Zombie

02-07-2011, 08:41 PM

hmmm, well maybe if they had been to Tuscon or maybe Tucumcari,
Tehachapi is okay and I would accept Tonapah

I dated a tranny in Tehachapi!

russianrobot

02-08-2011, 10:33 AM

I dated a tranny in Tehachapi!

are you fucking with me? lol

Alicia Rose

02-08-2011, 12:16 PM

hmmm, well maybe if they had been to Tuscon or maybe Tucumcari,
Tehachapi is okay and I would accept Tonapah

I've been trying to figure out wtf you are talking about ever since you posted this :p

Surlysomething

02-08-2011, 01:34 PM

No, it doesn't do anything for me.

But I have NO PROBLEM AT ALL with people dating our fine transexual peoples. :)

nathant78

03-03-2011, 10:05 AM

never heard of the term "pansexual" before. I like it
i have always fought with myself on if i am straight, gay or in between. i like to date the person now the gender

thank you, oh and yes i would date a TS if things went well between us.

coriander

03-03-2011, 08:32 PM

Yes, I would. Far be it from me to undermine anyone's gender identity. I am attracted to people who identify as male. If you identify as a man, I may very well be attracted to you. I know I'm simplifying things, but still. I like me some dudes. :D

Deven

03-04-2011, 10:29 PM

I would date a trans. I believe that gender isn't an issue for a relationship, as long as you have a healthy relationship.

velia

03-06-2011, 09:59 PM

I'm a bisexual with a heavy leaning toward women. I have not dated a transexual person before, but I would certainly be open to it.

My partner and I were discussing this the other day, actually, and she said, "Why would I care if a person I liked were transexual? They're still a human being, and if I like them, I'll date them." I have to agree. I will say I would be a little uncomfortable with the fact that I don't feel like I know enough about what its like to be a transexual individual. If the person I was interested in were transexual, they'd have to be ok with helping to educate me a bit, but other than my insecurity about my lack of knowledge, but that's about it.

witchysbbw

03-12-2011, 03:00 PM

Yes I would date a transexual, transgender or transvestite if they were loving, caring and honest. I once dated a cross dresser but he was a jerk so it did not work out. I have had attractions to tran females and never thought anything of it.

Fat Viking

04-15-2011, 05:06 AM

I probably would, but you never know.

bostonguy

04-20-2011, 03:02 PM

I would have to plead ignorant here. Is transgendered meaning male to female or female to male. I am unsure of these terms and how it works. I apologize. I am here to learn. I think I might have some bisexual interests.So, it would seem to me it would be the best of both worlds if one were bi. I tend to like women myself. If someone could enlighten me I would appreciate it.

Alicia Rose

04-20-2011, 03:40 PM

Is transgendered meaning male to female or female to male.

Yes.

yeeeeeessssssssss.

bostonguy

04-20-2011, 06:10 PM

my apologies i am trying to learn

Alicia Rose

04-20-2011, 06:12 PM

so it can be both?i would def, consider a girl with a cock, as other have phrased it.

Phrase it like that and I doubt you'll have much luck. :doh:

bostonguy

04-20-2011, 06:21 PM

again my apologies, i am just trying to learn the lingo, appears i am not current and need education on this topic..

Mishty

04-20-2011, 06:22 PM

Yes, I find it more than a little appealing.
Buck Angel (http://buckangel.com/blog/index.php/tag/trans/) has been on my crush list for yearrrrss....and recently I've seen he did a scene (http://manwithapussy.com/blog/index.php/2010/03/shooting-with-carlos-batts-and-april-flores/) with BBW April Flores.

Alicia Rose

04-20-2011, 06:23 PM

again my apologies, i am just trying to learn the lingo, appears i am not current and need education on this topic..

Most of us don't like being reminded of what is (or isn't) between our legs :p

I'm not a "girl with a cock", I'm a girl. Who happens to have a birth defect and doesn't like airing it in public. :p

bostonguy

04-20-2011, 06:31 PM

like i said i mean no harm to anybody i am just trying to learn about different areas of sexuality. i think sexuality is part of the human experience and a great thing. i wish everyone luck on finding love.

bostonguy

04-20-2011, 06:41 PM

i have had some very difficult times in life and some good times in life and have realized that love is love not matter what, so you should grab it while you can and not care what others think about who you love. i am probably sounding corney, but i just think life is as simple as love. if you find it keep it and hold on to it. it is about the spirit of the person. sorry not trying to sound corney just something i have learned as of late in life.

Jes

04-21-2011, 06:56 AM

Who happens to have a birth defect and doesn't like airing it in public. :p

oh now, c'mon, is that really true? :)

Alicia Rose

04-22-2011, 05:07 AM

oh now, c'mon, is that really true? :)

um, yes? :confused:

whats you mean?

Cors

04-22-2011, 05:30 AM

Most of us don't like being reminded of what is (or isn't) between our legs :p

I'm not a "girl with a cock", I'm a girl. Who happens to have a birth defect and doesn't like airing it in public. :p

What she said. Most MtFs find that term objectifying and offensive.

sowhat

04-24-2011, 09:16 AM

What she said. Most MtFs find that term objectifying and offensive.

+1 to that.

My personal opinion is that unless I am in a relationship with someone or that person/s is/are providing medical care that makes that knowledge necessary, it isn't any of their business what I've got for genitalia. Just sayin'.

sowhat

04-24-2011, 09:18 AM

Also, I don't remember ever answering the actual thread question, although I probably did, but here it is:

Yes. It would not be a factor as long as the person was attractive to me emotionally and physically.

Cors

04-24-2011, 07:01 PM

Welcome back, Sowhat! :kiss2:

Sasquatch!

05-02-2011, 09:56 AM

Only actually having come across one transperson, I would say in their particular case no.

I hate these kind of questions. Surely it's a case by case thing?

OneWickedAngel

05-02-2011, 10:36 AM

Only actually having come across one transperson, I would say in their particular case no.

I hate these kind of questions. Surely it's a case by case thing?

Obviously, no one (except perhaps very pushy mothers), would ask you (the royal you), to date someone unappealing to you.

Offspring: No, Mom, I cannot date such a nasty human being as Z!
Mother: But Z is so gorgeous and studying to be a lawyer!

It's always a case-by-case thing regardless of gender identification. Not everyone can, no matter how wonderful the person my be. I guess the more accurate question would be - are you willing to openly date a transperson fully knowing who they are if you liked them?

Sasquatch!

05-02-2011, 10:48 AM

Obviously, no one (except perhaps very pushy mothers), would ask you (the royal you), to date someone unappealing to you.

Offspring: No, Mom, I cannot date such a nasty human being as Z!
Mother: But Z is so gorgeous and studying to be a lawyer!

It's always a case-by-case thing regardless of gender identification. Not everyone can, no matter how wonderful the person my be. I guess the more accurate question would be - are you willing to openly date a transperson fully knowing who they are if you liked them?

Ah, ok.

I'm probably going to sound harsh and not win myself any friends, but I would not enter into a romantic relationship with a transperson.