Family Pressure about surgery

[HayleeRose]

So I am 18, I weigh 270lbs. I have this "syndrome" type of deal that the doctors say make it incredibly hard for me to lose weight naturally. So while I do what I can, I just cant lose weight. So anyways, I have this aunt, who I know only meant the best, but with out me asking or ever giving an interest in WLS offered to pay for me to get it. Now I know that it would help me a lot but I have just started accepting and loving my body so this really up set me. Anyways my question is, how should I go about dealing with it, am I too young? how has other people who have had WLS gone about deciding it....I know its ultimately my decision but I don't know anyone whose gotten it so I want to hear real peoples advice.

[truebebeblue]

I am assuming you have syndrome x/pcos? if so, Are you seeing an endocrinologist?
I would fully explore that route before thinking about wls. Do loads and loads of research.... read about and really absorb the side effects that can and do happen... decide if trading some of the issues you have now for all or part of those is worth it... I think your aunt is probably coming from a good intentioned place but you will have to live with this for the rest of your life.
This should be a last resort in my opinion.



So I am 18, I weigh 270lbs. I have this "syndrome" type of deal that the doctors say make it incredibly hard for me to lose weight naturally. So while I do what I can, I just cant lose weight. So anyways, I have this aunt, who I know only meant the best, but with out me asking or ever giving an interest in WLS offered to pay for me to get it. Now I know that it would help me a lot but I have just started accepting and loving my body so this really up set me. Anyways my question is, how should I go about dealing with it, am I too young? how has other people who have had WLS gone about deciding it....I know its ultimately my decision but I don't know anyone whose gotten it so I want to hear real peoples advice.

[Dromond]

WLS should always be a last resort. Explore all other avenues first, and then consider WLS only if your weight is impacting your health significantly. If you need WLS after all that, then it's great that your aunt is willing to foot the considerable bill. But do not let yourself be pressured into something you may not need or want.

[HayleeRose]

Thank you both for your responses.
Yes its PCOS that I have, I did go see the Endo. they put me on some
meds that are not really doing anything for me, I need to go back to them.
I agree that it should be a last resort, and there really isn't anything terribly wrong with me health wise that is related to the weight.

I have never researched WLS so yes that's something I would definitely do before deciding. I just wanted personal perspective from people who I knew doesn't just think everyone should be skinny.

[laylalashelle]

Docs have straight out said to me that at my age, weight and being a diabetic, I don't have a hope of maintaining any appreciable weight loss without the disfigurement of WLS. That angered me where there was no option mentioned of stressing the healthy eating vs focusing on size.
In a way, I was relieved because I think after all the decades of psyche-outs and obsession about foods and denial, blah blah blah (you all know the drill), I finally can eat what I can afford and enjoy one of the last pleasures available to to me for the rest of my life. I admit, it may be a limited life because of the pain and the minimal mobility. But, I don't have to feel like the constant failure of one who cannot maintain a weight loss, regardless of method. I don't see what the big deal is to have a long lifespan. The way elders are treated in the US and the UK, I don't see that it's something to yearn for! Grrrrr!:mad::eek:

[Miss Vickie]

Layla, are you saying that you're going to eat what you want despite your diabetes? Does that mean you're not going to manage your disease with medication and checking your blood sugars?

[Oirish]

I can safely say that it is proven that every person's body chemistry is rather unique. It is unlikely that the first attempt your endocrinologist makes to treat your condition will be the perfect fix. They will likely reevaluate their opinion many times and try a number of treatments. As others have said, WLS should be a last resort. You are a beautiful and very young girl. Surgery is a very serious decision and it has serious repercussions. Does your weight make you unhealthy? Would losing a significant amount of weight improve your health drastically? Definitely consider the potential side effects of WLS compared to the repercussions of remaining at your size (or whatever size your condition may take you to). Give your endocrinologist as much time as you can and pursue additional opinions before undergoing surgery. Good luck. I wish you the best and am glad to hear you have been traveling down the road to greater self acceptance. Your aunt likely means well and what she says comes from a place of concern but don't let it ruin that self-confidence and appreciation for your own body. Be happy to be yourself.

[laylalashelle]

11 years since my Dx of DM2 have taught me what must be done to manage my condition. I'm happy to say that my oral meds and food regimen are keeping me in the right blood sugar range. Sure, I eat what I want (or can afford), but after years of NOT paying attention to what my body was wanting (as opposed to my hungry tongue/stomach), I finally learned more about intuitive eating which is keeping me at a stable weight. Even though it's high, I'm finally not yo-yoing and that's a relief.

Layla:bow:

[Miss Vickie]

I was just worried that you were saying, "Screw it all, I'm going to eat what I want" with no thought to managing your disease. I was really concerned for you, having had two close relatives die recently after many years of disability, pain, infection, limb loss, neuropathy, blindness, hearing loss, and renal failure -- which is no walk in the park. It's rampant in my family -- nearly all of the men in my dad's family die in their 40's and 50's from it -- and so I've watched many family members sicken and die. It's something I feel really personally about.

I'm glad to hear that you're going to manage your disease with your diet. Medications are great, but you have to work with them by trying to make good choices. How "good" you have to be depends on how advanced your disease is. My mom in law has spiked sugars from eating almonds. I've had patients eat rolls and maintain normal numbers. It's just so variable with each person.

I wish you a long and healthy life, however you decide to manage your disease. Surgery is but one means to accomplish that goal.