View Full Version : The Dimensions Pledge
old_dogsoldier
10-28-2005, 05:05 PM
I pledge allegiance to this board,
And the fatter babes of America,
And to the orientation for which we stand,
Fat appreciation, unrestrained, incorrigible,
With marshmallows and chocolate for all.
Article 1: I will restrain myself from engaging in political ruminations on the weight board, even when I want to.
Article 2: I will refrain from posting photographic representations of uncovered female human nipples, if I ever learn how to do that, even though I have nothing against them personally and in fact regard them with the utmost esteem.
Okay, that should get me back in. Hi, y'all. 'Sup?
Michelle
10-28-2005, 05:14 PM
Hey ODS ... I was wondering when you'd show up. Welcome back! :)
By the way, your pledge is very, very heart warming and full of deep thoughts. I'm awed.
BBW Betty
10-28-2005, 05:17 PM
Gotta love that Pledge! Creativity like that should always be welcome.
TallFatSue
10-28-2005, 05:33 PM
'Sup?
Yes I did, and a mighty good supper it was too. ;)
A fat gal must maintain her figure, ya know. :)
Sue
I can be a real wise ass, and given the size of my ass, I must be loaded with wisdom.
Wayne_Zitkus
10-28-2005, 05:40 PM
Welcome back, Old Dog!!! Sandie and I are glad to see you!!
:)
Hey, great to see you, Old Dog Soldier! I was hoping you'd return. Picked a lucky nickel up off the ground today and knew something good would happen; looks like this is it. Welcome back. :D
1300 Class
10-28-2005, 06:30 PM
I take the pledge whole heartedly. ;)
Egbert Souse
10-28-2005, 07:18 PM
If they woulda had you around to write the Constitution (and i assume they didn't), we probly wouldn't need that Supreme Court.
This doesn't bode well for my resolution to kick the Board Addiction.
For my part, i promise not to say that you remind me of me if i was a lot smarter any more.
Wonderful to have you back, o_ds.
FEast
10-29-2005, 05:11 AM
'Bout time another one of us seniors showed up. Now I don't feel so alone out here. When I read your departure post on the old boards, I was saddened, as I've always enjoyed your posts. However, I suspected that, like most, you'd discover how much you missed us, and would be baaaaack. It's one of the reasons I didn't reply to that post (another was disappointment in and a just a touch of vexation with you; I'm spoiled, expect my fixes will be waiting for me when I need them, and really don't do well with change :p ).
Wouldja do me a favor? Go to these two links and answer the polls in them. I haven't even added my age in the one I posted yet, 'cause I didn't want to be the only one in that category and give my age away. :rolleyes:
Age Poll #1 (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=506)
Age Poll #2 (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=518)
I've mentioned missing you in other posts I've made on these fabulous new boards (aren't they great?!), and look forward to the wisdom you bring to the table. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your re-entry pledge. Now, if we could just get Jokester to start posting again...~Bountifully, Foosh
Boteroesque Babe
10-29-2005, 10:40 AM
Thanks for not mentioning any religious deities in your pledge. Or flags. Or buttermilk pie. (I'm really hungry, and that would only exacerbate things.)
Welcome back, Old Dog Soldier. You've been missed.
I pledge allegiance to this board,
And the fatter babes of America,
And to the orientation for which we stand,
Fat appreciation, unrestrained, incorrigible,
With marshmallows and chocolate for all.
Article 1: I will restrain myself from engaging in political ruminations on the weight board, even when I want to.
Article 2: I will refrain from posting photographic representations of uncovered female human nipples, if I ever learn how to do that, even though I have nothing against them personally and in fact regard them with the utmost esteem.
Okay, that should get me back in. Hi, y'all. 'Sup?
I swear I'm gonna stitch this one onto a sampler!!
old_dogsoldier
10-29-2005, 12:23 PM
Thanks to all who welcomed me back and took the pledge!
Egbert, you know damn well I was only a kid when the Constitution was written. If I'd been an adult, they'd have locked me in the stocks for disrespect and impiety.
Foosh - I did it. Now you can.
Bo-Babe - I actually thought of designing a board flag, but I'm severely hampered by the facts that I can't draw, am computer-illiterate, and am bound to respect Article 2 of the pledge.
Bo-Babe - I actually thought of designing a board flag, but I'm severely hampered by the facts that I can't draw, am computer-illiterate, and am bound to respect Article 2 of the pledge.
I'm picturing the flag as round.
old_dogsoldier
10-29-2005, 02:59 PM
Good start. Keep going.
Trinityspleasure
10-29-2005, 04:23 PM
ok i love that pledge its awesome did you write it?
Egbert Souse
10-29-2005, 04:35 PM
Good start. Keep going.
Don't think that we can't see where you're going with this.
Once a troublemaker, always a troublemaker.
(Of course, they said that about Patrick Henry).
(Actually, i'm not sure that they did but to debate the point could be construed as political and we're both probly on thin enough ice as it is).
I suggest you nip this flag-designing career of yours in the bud, so to speak, before it starts some kinda uproar.
We don't need that in THIS neighborhood.
I'm still working on the anthem of Dimensions which starts, "Oh say, getcher hot dogs!"
Les Toil
10-29-2005, 05:17 PM
I pledge allegiance to this board,
And the fatter babes of America,
And to the orientation for which we stand,
Fat appreciation, unrestrained, incorrigible,
With marshmallows and chocolate for all.
Article 1: I will restrain myself from engaging in political ruminations on the weight board, even when I want to.
Article 2: I will refrain from posting photographic representations of uncovered female human nipples, if I ever learn how to do that, even though I have nothing against them personally and in fact regard them with the utmost esteem.
http://www.lestoil.net/stuff/applause.gif
fatlane
10-29-2005, 05:41 PM
That Is The Best Animated Gif Ever
Santaclear
10-29-2005, 05:57 PM
Hot dogs - the most political food there is.
ataraxia
10-29-2005, 08:16 PM
Hot dogs - the most political food there is.
You're telling me! There are Discordians on this board, man!
fatlane
10-29-2005, 08:23 PM
You're telling me! There are Discordians on this board, man!
I used to be a Discordian until I joined the Society of Four. We protect The Secret No Man Knows. Since nobody knows it, it's a pretty easy job, when you get all down to it.
ataraxia
10-29-2005, 08:32 PM
I used to be a Discordian until I joined the Society of Four. We protect The Secret No Man Knows. Since nobody knows it, it's a pretty easy job, when you get all down to it.
But if somebody learns it, how will you know, since you don't know what it is yourself?
And besides, there are no ex-Discordians. Any valid reason you can find for leaving it behind would be a Discordian reason, so it just gets you further in. It's like Lovecraft's Elder Gods - once you get in, you can't get out...
old_dogsoldier
10-29-2005, 08:37 PM
Les, I love that mo'om pitcher you posted. If I had 1/4 your talent, we'd have a flag by now.
Egbert, I'm not sure you're allowed to say "nip in the bud" on this board, much less actually do it. And, I think we need a flag. And, of course I'm a troublemaker - check out my scores on the "Danger, Will Robinson" thread.
Trinityspleasure, I'm afraid I have to accept full responsibility for writing that pledge. I doubt anyone else will. And thank you for the kind words.
Russ, hot dogs are not the most political food. That would be freedom fries.
fatlane
10-29-2005, 08:42 PM
But if somebody learns it, how will you know, since you don't know what it is yourself?
And besides, there are no ex-Discordians. Any valid reason you can find for leaving it behind would be a Discordian reason, so it just gets you further in. It's like Lovecraft's Elder Gods - once you get in, you can't get out...
How is it you have enough organization to keep track of members? You some kind of government plant? (And I'd expect you to say no to that question, so you might as well confess. If you had a face like mine, you'd punch yourself right on the nose, and I'm just the guy to do it.)
Observer
10-29-2005, 09:39 PM
Conrad has already indicated to the moderators that he's willing to take a chance on political items on this board. Its easier to keep within bounds here and will be allowed as long as it remains civil and doesn't descend into name calling and hate talk.
I anticipate some very reasoned and interesting discussions over time.
Glad to have you back!
ataraxia
10-29-2005, 09:59 PM
How is it you have enough organization to keep track of members? You some kind of government plant? (And I'd expect you to say no to that question, so you might as well confess. If you had a face like mine, you'd punch yourself right on the nose, and I'm just the guy to do it.)
Hey now, I gave up my security clearance back in May. :D
(Yes, I really did have one... Just goes to show that they'll give it to anybody :eek:)
And I don't keep track of members - I let you tell me that you were one.
But now I'm suspicious of you - how do I know you're not one of the people from poee.co.uk or something?
You're telling me! There are Discordians on this board, man!
Absolutely. Even I have found a little Discordian hiding inside me! I didn't know there was one - just love the surprises of life! :)
fatlane
10-30-2005, 08:02 AM
I think I will resort to name calling on a political thread because it seems like the thing to do right now.
You, Ataraxia, are a disestablishmentarian. I am a pro-antidisestablishmentarian, although there are aspects of their platform I'm not willing to commit to. I will call you other names as well, from time to time, as you seem to have a sense of humor and the names I will call you will have nothing to do with casting aspersions on the manner of your birth, barnyard animals, or incestuous practices within your family tree.
ataraxia
10-30-2005, 08:26 AM
Absolutely. Even I have found a little Discordian hiding inside me! I didn't know there was one - just love the surprises of life! :)
I first interpreted this as saying that you found a little hotdog hiding inside you! It's ok as long as you don't eat the bun!
ataraxia
10-30-2005, 08:30 AM
I think I will resort to name calling on a political thread because it seems like the thing to do right now.
You, Ataraxia, are a disestablishmentarian. I am a pro-antidisestablishmentarian, although there are aspects of their platform I'm not willing to commit to. I will call you other names as well, from time to time, as you seem to have a sense of humor and the names I will call you will have nothing to do with casting aspersions on the manner of your birth, barnyard animals, or incestuous practices within your family tree.
You, sir, are...
absolutely correct. :cool:
fatlane
10-30-2005, 08:35 AM
I thought as much. I bet you're something of an anarcho-syndicalist, as well.
ataraxia
10-30-2005, 08:48 AM
I thought as much. I bet you're something of an anarcho-syndicalist, as well.
No, I'm more of an anarcho-capitalist. (You knew there was a reason you liked me, right?) See the first post in the "Political Compass" thread.
MissToodles
10-30-2005, 09:11 AM
No, I'm more of an anarcho-capitalist. (You knew there was a reason you liked me, right?) See the first post in the "Political Compass" thread.
Isn't that a "libetarian"?
fatlane
10-30-2005, 09:22 AM
That or a "librarian". I get the two confused, frequently. Especially in myself. There are times where I can't decide whether to criticize the ruling parties or arrange my bookshelves.
That or a "librarian". I get the two confused, frequently. Especially in myself. There are times where I can't decide whether to criticize the ruling parties or arrange my bookshelves.
Try BEING one and seeing the word libertarian -- I ALWAYS read it as librarian. ALWAYS.
Only slightly related: whenever I write about being a librarian, I type the word 'patron' as 'parton.' Which just conjures images of very, very busty library clients. Which isn't all that bad, I suppose.
fatlane
10-30-2005, 05:14 PM
Not at all bad. The Libertarian Party would be much more popular if entertainers such as Dolly Parton lent their assets to its cause.
And what's that you're inflating in your picture? A dodge ball?
Tarella
10-30-2005, 06:39 PM
I just wanted to say that I am finding this part of the board very interesting. I love the oath and Les Toil, your applauding crowd is great. A fat nation...could it be the start of our very own Trekkie nation?
Tara:)
fatlane
10-31-2005, 07:48 PM
If there was a sci-fi series where everyone was huge, it would lead to a massive weight gain on the part of its die-hard fans.
I'll get to work on the screenplays...
SoVerySoft
10-31-2005, 10:26 PM
Okay, that should get me back in. Hi, y'all. 'Sup?
yep, you're back in! hurrah! Glad to see you back!
BBWMoon
10-31-2005, 10:36 PM
I would like my marshmallow's and Chocolate now, Please! :p
Not at all bad. The Libertarian Party would be much more popular if entertainers such as Dolly Parton lent their assets to its cause.
And what's that you're inflating in your picture? A dodge ball?
No, no. I'm not inflating it, I'm making out with it. It's my 'Light the Night' balloon, which one carries during the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society Walkathon thingie. My friend whipped out her camera and told me to pose, so I kissed my balloon. Though you're right, it does look like I'm inflating it.
old_dogsoldier
11-01-2005, 08:55 AM
I would like my marshmallow's and Chocolate now, Please! :p
We might work out a trade - marshmallows and chocolate for a ride on your Aprilia Scarabeo motor scooter. (I don't own a motor scooter right now, but I want one.)
Santaclear
11-01-2005, 05:05 PM
Anyone here try that new Lemon Pledge yet? I hear it's way stronger than the old stuff.
fatlane
11-01-2005, 05:05 PM
No, no. I'm not inflating it, I'm making out with it. It's my 'Light the Night' balloon, which one carries during the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society Walkathon thingie. My friend whipped out her camera and told me to pose, so I kissed my balloon. Though you're right, it does look like I'm inflating it.
Well, I'm sure all the folks into inflation are now crestfallen, but the already-inlflated balloon enthusiasts ought to be having a party about now.
How'd the walkathon turn out?
Michelle
01-01-2006, 03:28 PM
<bump>
Just wonderin' where ODS has been. Classic post, this one.
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