View Full Version : A Southern Story
12-10-2011, 05:49 PM
~BBW, Eating, ~SWG - an angry daughter with no self control vents with her mouth full
A Southern Story
by Cylon Bob
#! - Elizabeth's Viewpoint:
I hate this school! I spent K-12 here, learning trash I'll never need or use, ain't that enough?
Sorry, let me start over.
My name is Elizabeth, and this is where I went to school. Every. Fricking Year of it. And now here I am, working for free at their big annual fund raiser. Again.
Why do it if I hate it?
Okay,so my mom's a teacher out here, so she signed me up. My family doesn't volunteer. We get volun-TOLD.
Okay, I just realized how terrible a joke that was, please erase it from your memory.
At least I got the best job here. This booth sells desserts and there's no records, so there's no way for them to know if they're missing a few dollars. I probably mowed through about two and a half dozen cupcakes since I sat down here. Sorry if I'm talkin' with my mouth full for bits of this. Mrs. Mabel's chess pie is to DIE for!
Back to what I was saying, though, down here, you DON'T go against your mama. Ever. She keeps the house rolling smoothly. Cleans the dishes, mops the floors, and cooks the food. '
That last one especially. Oh can mama cook! My mama can, anyways. You might have guessed that, though, looking at me. Don't play coy, you CAN'T have missed it! I am 174 pounds of pure ass.
That's the thing about the South. Any woman worth a damn can cook. Now I don't know where you're from but down here, you get seconds every meal. Even when you ain't hungry, 'cuz that gumbo is just too good!
I've no idea how a woman's supposed to keep her figure in around here! You'd have to ask my sister, Tori about that! She's the only one of my sisters that's as thin now she's 25 as she was at 17. Now, she ain't hardly a stick, but at least she hasn't totally porked out. Yet. I mean,we KNOW from family history that it'll happen sometime soon, we just aren't sure when.
The rest of us chubbed up in that 17-25 time frame but it was a little bit different for each of us. Emily, the oldest got big in college. Freshman Fifteen, and all that,only she didn't stop at fifteen pounds. Of course not!. She's the fat sister now, probably somewhere around, what, 230lb?
Laney lasted till she 20, but then she got married, and we all know what that can do to a girl's physique!
Chelsea's second skinniest, after Tori, of course. She's the only one you can tell I'm related too, too. See, Chelsea stayed thin 'til about 23, and from there out, her hips just exploded.
Laney and Emily got tits, but me and Chels, we got enough ass for the whole family. There's a pot collecting right now as to see where Tori's gonna add pounds, but that's all speculation. My money's on her ass getting HUGE, like twice the size of mine. I figure, she's been the skinniest all her life, she's got to be the fattest, in the end. Balance to the world, all that crapola.
Anyways, out of all of us, I got fat youngest. I somehow kept weight off until I hit eighteen, but that's when my ass went into warp speed. I still remember that doctor's visit.
“Elizabeth, are you aware that you've gained 24lb in the last year?”
As if it were possible NOT to!
“Oh no, doctor! Do you think that's why my ass has gone from a size 10 to a REALLY TIGHT size 16? is THAT why I couldn't button my favorite jeans yesterday?”
Now I didn't say none of that, but come on. Twenty-four pounds is a lot. He said I'd better watch my weight, but he didn't put me on a diet or anything. Well, he did, but he wasn't smart about it. He's lived here his whole life, he knows if a Mama puts her kid on a diet, that kid ain't gonna risk cheating. I was still living with Mama, just until college came around, but she didn't know I was supposed to be dieting,so she kept givin' me the same foods. And I kept eatin' 'em.
So here I am now, holding fort over the Sweet Tooth Booth, fatter than ever. This ain't helping, neither. I don't need any more temptation. On that mark, here, buy these brownies. Yes, they're half gone, that's why you need to buy them and get them out my way! No? Ah well, more for me! Hey, I'll see you later, a'ight?
(Continued in post 4 of this thread)
12-10-2011, 08:49 PM
If you continue this like you've begun it, you'll have a fine tale indeed.
Ain't gonna pester you to write more, quick; take your own good-natured time...bet it'll be worth waiting for!
12-10-2011, 09:24 PM
Well I do have a second bit, almost completely written up. I will post it sometime tomorrow if all goes according to plan, which it almost definitely WON'T.
12-11-2011, 12:34 PM
A Southern Story #2: Chelsea's viewpoint
Hey, wasn't you just talkin' to Elizabeth over at the sweet tooth booth?
What was she telling you about? You should know, before you say anything, she's my sister and I'm betting half of what she said was bullcrap.
Oh she was talking about how fat she was getting? Oh well yeah, THAT'S true, she's kind of a total hog when it comes to supper time. Wait, she said she's a size 16? Well there you go, that's a bold-faced lie! I went shopping with her a few months ago, since she couldn't quite squash her fat ass into her 16's! She's a size 18 now, and by the looks of those jeans, she'll have to move up to a 20 by next month.
Yeah, just look at her over there, stuffing her face with all them cupcakes. Does she really think no one notices her? Only reason no one calls her on it is out of fear of our mama! Mama's a big person in the community. Mostly I mean politically, but, well, it's pretty damn obvious where we got our genes from. No one wants to get Mama angry. All she'd have to do is start telling everybody's dirty little secrets.
Now y'all up north probably don't get this, but down here, in a town this small, you know everybody's business. Mama just knows more than even the busiest gossips in town. One wrong step towards her family, the next day your reputation's lyin' in the dust.
Wait now, what'd Elizabeth tell you about Mama? WHAT? She's tryin' to blame her fat ass on Mama's cooking? What the hell is she thinking? Trust me, if you've ever seen her eating out allby herself you wouldn't think Mama was the one who was makin' her fat! That's completely on her.
True, she always ate seconds at Mama's meals, but ALL of us did! Well, she did have thirds a lot more than the rest of us, but it wasn't nothing compared to how she'd eat if you set her down at a restaurant, ESPECIALLY one that had a buffet.
You think her belly's kind of popping out right now? That ain't nothing. Try taking her to a Chinese restaurant with a buffet. If she can still walk easy after she's done, that's a LIGHT dinner. On a rough day, you gotta sit there with her for an hour or so, just to let her digest enough to stand, and on the way out, she'll grab a few extra donut holes for the drive home!
Wasn't just at Chinese restaurants neither. Fast food places were a favorite, too. Macdonald's, she'd order at LEAST two super-sized value meals with a large milkshake on the side. Pizza hut, she'd order a large pepperoni just for herself to eat. And the list of what she'd pig out on just goes on and on and on. Sure can't cover it all in just this one, ten minute long conversation.
All that's pretty bad but it ain't even COUNTING what she did at the school's fund raisers! See, this school sells chocolate bars for about two weeks, twice a year, to raise a bit of money. She never actually sold any, though, and night before they had to turn in the money they'd made, she'd come to Mama with the number of bars she'd gone and eaten.
Ninth through eleventh grade, that usually just meant about ten, twenty dollars, no big deal really. Senior year was the year she went and porked out. I think it might possibly have something to do with the fact that Mama had to shell out EIGHTY DOLLARS this time to pay for Elizabeth's candy cravings.
Now this is just something I heard, might not be true, but I could believe it- about halfway through the sale in the spring semester, she completely stopped ordering normal, healthy lunches in the cafeteria and just pigged out on that candy she was supposed to be selling. For a whole week. You know, if that's true, and it probably is, it'd definitely explain why that year, Dr. McCurley had to tell her she'd gained thirty five pounds.
Oh now what? She only told you twenty-four? Well, that's Elizabeth for you. Liar about everything but especially about her weight. How could you even THINK she was only about 174? Doesn't her fat ass, stretching the hell out of those size 18 jeans, give it away? What about those fat rolls along the sides of her belly? How blind you gotta be to miss those?
Well, gotta admit there was one thing she didn't lie about. Every girl in our family ends up fat. Look at me! Guess who I am, just off of how Elizabeth was describing us. 'Ats right, I'm Chelsea, kinda obvious with my big ole butt hanging so far out behind me. Really shouldn't have gone with this old skirt, it's definitely gettin' too small for me these days.
I mean look at it right now, you can clearly see my cheeks pokin' out the bottom, and I didn't even know it was possible to get panty lines on a skirt! Used to be my favorite skirt, fit perfectly, but now it's way too short, way too tight and this zipper is killing me!
Yeah, all us Wesson girls end up being really chubby, the only thing is where we store the extra fat and when we start gettin' big. And how fat we get, but it's really not lookin' like there's a limit on that. Elizabeth ain't slowin' down that's for sure. Well, now I think about it, I'm not really either. Like she told you I was still pretty skinny when I turned twenty-three, 129 pounds to be exact, but that didn't last too long. Take a guess right quick, how much you think I'm weighin' these days?
Oh really? Well ain't you sweet! Don't flatter me, it's pretty obvious I'm bigger than THAT! Honey, I ain't been 150 for MONTHS now. I weigh myself pretty regular to check up on how fat I'm getting and how fast. Last time I was right around 150 was right before Elizabeth's birthday about two months ago. Sure wasn't still that small come the next day.
See, you yankees, y'all don't got the slightest clue about how to throw a good and proper party. It ain't all about party games and gettin' wasted, though that's definitely a pretty big part of it. Nah, see, the best part of a party is the food. You got to have a good caterer and a lot of options. First you all have a few drinks to loosen up a bit, then you start diggin' in to that party food like a starving wild animal.
I tried to resist doin' that at first, thinkin' about how fat I was getting, but you know, it's a hell of a lot harder to limit yourself when you're a little drunk and everyone around you is making pigs outta themselves. Woke up next day with about twenty empty Snickers wrappers next to me. No reason not to think they were mine, I got pretty wasted and couldn't remember much of anything, but judging by how fat I was feeling, it was pretty likely I'd eaten all of them. Plus a gallon or two of ice cream.
Whole day I just kept thinking I must be something like ten pounds fatter. I was too scared to actually check though. Not that day. I waited 'til the weekend to check on that. Probably a bad idea since I just figured what the hell, I was fatter already, might as well add to that fact. Saturday came up, I couldn't fit into any of my normal clothes, so I had to go shopping. Took Elizabeth too, that was when she moved up to an 18.
Bit of a good feeling there, knowin' I'm not the only girl in the family who'd gotten really fat from that party. Then again, it was Elizabeth, and knowing her, she'd probably eaten her whole birthday cake and a few gallons of ice cream. Definitely was looking like it. I myself was moving up to a 16, same size Elizabeth was leaving.
It was probably better that it was at the same time for once, so she'd be okay with givin' me some of her old jeans. She was gettin' some of Emily's old clothes, so it worked out. Still needed to get some for ourselves though. Me and Elizabeth got completely different fashion styles. First time we both moved up a size at the same time.
See, she's been gaining pretty fast; when she turned eighteen, she was about 150. now, one year later, she's more than thirty pounds bigger. Oh she tried to tell you she'd only added twenty-four? How cute! Nah, she's up to about 187 right now. I been gaining plenty but nowhere NEAR that fast. I started about 130 and now, three years later, I'm just now hitting 168. We've gained about the same, but she gained it in a third as much time as I took.
Lookin' at her now, it don't look like she's about to get her weight under control any time soon. What is that, her tenth piece of pie? Gotta be more than one whole pie, easy. She's just gonna keep gettin' fatter and fatter 'til she looks like the Michelin Man if he had a fat ass! Lookin' at that gut pouring out over her jeans, I'd say she's already pretty far on her way.
That's enough about her, though. At my last weigh in I was 168, but I'm not so sure that's still true anymore. Actually, I'm pretty darned sure it ain't. It's been about a week since I got weighed last and you know, the school's gone and started up their fundraiser again. I can't hardly resist chocolate on a normal day, let alone when it's an adorable little kid tryin' to sell it! I just can't tell them no, can I? Well, I couldn't anyway. II really need to get past that, though. You can't hardly imagine how much I been eatin'
No question about it, I been gettin' fatter. Don't got a clue about how much though. I ain't helpin' myself bein' here, though. I'm standin' here, talkin' about how much of a pig Elizabeth's bein' over there, but you know, I just couldn't resist a few of Mrs. Barber's brownies earlier this morning. I say a few, but it was probably about fifteen of them things; I swear she must have some kind of crack in that recipe! You eat one, you gotta eat ALL of them.
Actually now I think about it, that's true of pretty much everything over there. Have you ever tried one of Mrs. Morris' jelly rolls? It's not what you think, don't worry, its some kind of sweet cake dough, with some flavor of jelly as filling and I swear to you, it is HEAVENLY. Try one! I bought one, but it's already gone. I really got to get all that under control. You heard me! Get your butt over there and buy yourself a jelly roll! Just as long as it ain't the last one, I'm probably gonna be craving one later today. . .
12-15-2011, 12:44 PM
Southern Story #3: Update (Elizabeth's viewpoint)
Oh hey there, you remember me? I met you at the last one of these! God, what's it been, a year now? You moved down here yet? No? Why not? What's that now, you don't know if you'll fit in down here? Oh trust me, you'll fit in SOMEWHERE around here. Besides, we uh. . . We’ve got the prettiest girls around these parts by far, if you know what I mean. . .
We stay pretty face-wise all our lives, we take good care of ourselves and all that, but body-wise, that's a whole 'nother story! Like I said before, every girl in town end up spreading out a bit in their late twenties. Is that such a horrible thing? I mean lookin' good ain't JUST about bein' skinny!
Look at my family you got proof of THAT! None of us is over thirty yet, but every one of us is carryin' around more than a few pounds. Even TORI'S getting' kinda big!
Remember what I told you about Tori last year? Well she's still the skinniest, but nowadays, no one can call her thin. What was she last time, 125 pounds, size 4? If I had to guess, these days she's hovering right about 140. That was only fifteen pounds, which ain't much in our family, but she's only about five foot one, so those fifteen pounds was sitting heavy on her ass.
Now she's growin' again. Faster than before. Faster than any one of us. Nowhere near as fast as I am, though. I passed the 200 mark a few weeks ago if you can believe it, which you probably can, just from the looks of me. I couldn't squash my massive ass into those jeans I had last time we saw each other, that's for sure! What was I then, a size 18? Yeah, just two days ago I had to go shopping. Up to a 22 these days.
Why is it everything around me is so delicious? Can't blame it all on Mama this time, though. See, they opened up some restaurants a few months after I met you. We got a Macdonald's, a KFC and a new ice cream shop. Basically all my favorite foods all at once, all in one day.
I blame all those places for makin' my whole family get even fatter. This one year alone, I gained about forty pounds, Tori gained her fifteen, Chels is pushin' up past 200 and the other two are past 250 easy. I know for sure I've gained more in the last year than I did in the two years before this. Can't speak for my sisters, but I'm pretty sure they've done the same. Chels DEFINITELY has gotten fatter in the last year, maybe even more than I have. I mean, what was she last time, like 160? At a guess, I'd say she's right around 200, 210.
Other chicks around here been affected pretty bad, too, even ones I ain't related too. I'd say this has been the first time in history it took two girls to help the prom queen zip up her dress. That chick sure couldn't get that thing on now. Look around here. I promise you, any full-grown woman you see, looks something under 140 pounds is just here visiting someone. Alright, maybe that's a TINY exaggeration, but it's pretty dang close to accurate!
Example. Look at that chick over there, the one with that massive ass checking out the silent auction over there. That's Heather. Two years ago she was head cheerleader. Now she started to chunk up a few months after she graduated, but only by about ten pounds or so. Then they put in that KFC in town. Every day about noon, then again about 4, she's there, chowin' down on some value meal. That ass is probably thirty pounds bigger by now.
There's another one. That's the chick I was telling you about, the prom queen who needed help to zip up her dress. That dress was a 10. Look at her now. Her belly's even fatter than MINE and I'm over 200! She's workin' out at the Dunkin' Donuts now and by the looks of her, I'd say she helps herself to a few free samples. . .
Gettin' off topic, but anyways, I think those fast food joints are pretty much the only reason Tori's been gettin' fat. She still goes jogging most every mornin' only now she's comin' back with an empty Macdonald's bag in her hand. One time came back with Dunkin' Donuts bag.
Really don't know how she can stand all that runnin'. I haven't run for exercise once in my life I don't think, and look at me! I'm fine, aside from the extra hundred pounds or so I'm haulin' around! Lately, though, she ain't been gettin' out to run quite so often. I guess that new chub she's carryin' around is weighin' her down a bit too much for her tastes!
All I can say is she's probably gonna just give up entirely in a few more months, once she sees it's useless. We got a pretty wimpy metabolism in this family, just bides its time for a while, then dies entirely. Chels still tries sometimes to lose a little weight, but that never lasts too long and it sure ain't workin'! She'll just weight about four or five weeks, weigh herself, find out she ain't lost a pound and give up, goes back to slowly piling on the pounds.
The rest of us just kinda stopped worryin' after we gained the first fifty pounds. We get fatter, who cares? It's just gonna keep happenin', why get all worked up about it? Food's good, why keep ourselves from it? All that's gonna do is make us hungry! Nah, we don't never lose weight around here.
Never have, not even before we got the fast food 'round here. All that's done is make us even fatter!
All I can blame Mama for now is making it dang near impossible to diet, and I've never even tried to do one of those. I mean, just by growin' up with the kind of Mama we had, dieting is pretty much off the table, no matter WHAT Tori tries to tell you.
Don't go tellin' her about what I said though if you see her. Stupid woman still thinks she's skinny! Kinda want to tell her to stop deludin' herself, she's gone PAST skinny now. Chubby maybe, not quite fat. Eh, you'll probably see her sometime today. Just look for a slightly chubby bitch with blonde hair in a belly-shirt and amazingly tight jeans, that'll almost definitely be her.
Tori still hasn't gotten the memo to stop dressin' like she ain't gained weight. You know what? Actually, could you go find her for me right now? She's about five minutes late for her shift right here. Really? You would? I can't thank you enough! Maybe we could talk a bit more when I'm off? AWESOME, see you then!
12-15-2011, 12:55 PM
A Southern Story #4: Update -Tori's Perspective-
Hmmm? What's that now? Oh yeah, I'm Tori. What you need? My sister needs me? Which one, now? Elizabeth? I got to ask, sorry. I got four sisters here. Elizabeth, Chelsea, Emily and Laney. What's that now, you think you already know two of them? Chelsea and Elizabeth? Well, I can talk a few minutes, I'm not in THAT big a hurry just walk with me. Sweet Tooth Booth's a good ways away, we can chat as we walk over! So now tell me! Where were y'all and what did y'all talk about?
Ah, the Sweet Tooth Booth. I really shoulda known they'd be there. I mean it's kind of obvious, ain't it? Why you think they both gotten as fat as they are? I swear, if either of them entered into an eating contest, they'd win, no competition. I bet you fifty dollars when we find them, they'll both be stuffing themselves with desserts at the Sweet Tooth Booth! Oh what now, that's what they was doing when you met them? HA! No big shock really, I mean they've been doing that kind of thing almost their entire lives!
I'm the only woman in my family who actually exercises some self-control from time to time. That's why I'm only even remotely thin woman in my family! I swear it's like eatin' too much and bein' lazy is genetic or somethin'! I mean, Mama' is absolutely HUGE, so I guess we all got it from her? Hopefully, none of us get anywhere near as big as Mama, though. I swear, that woman's gotta be somethin' like 375 pounds of pure lard! She can still walk, she ain't THAT big, but it's definitely hard for her, so she hardly ever does it. I think that kind of rubbed off on my sisters, that laziness.
I mean really, if you asked Chels when the last time she went runnin' was, she'd just give you a blank look. I have to wonder if she's even gone to a gym even once since she turned 23.
Elizabeth would pobably just bust out laughing at the IDEA of her going to a gym. I swear that girl will be as fat or fatter than Mama by the time she hits thirty if she keeps up the pace she's going! Make it worse, she CLEARLY has no plans to stop any time soon. Lord it's almost like she WANTS to be a blimp!
None of my sisters do any kind of exercise, that's a fact. I swear I've got to be the only woman in my immediate family who even owns exercise clothes, or really even jogging shoes. Jogging's a pretty basic thing for exercise, but I can pretty much guarantee I'm the only girl in the family who's EVER done it. More than once anyway. Seriously, five minutes a day and Elizabeth probably wouldn't have to pour herself into her jeans every morning. Laney wouldn't have to wrestle in the morning to strap her bras on.
On second thought, that's probably the most exercise any of them do on a regular basis. Struggling with their clothes I mean. That's a battle they got to gotta fight every day, you know? That and chewing, but I would only count that as exercise because they NEVER stop. There's got to be a couple hundred calories gettin' burned by doing that all day long, right? OBVIOUSLY they ain't burning nearly as much as they're taking in, but they gotta have some POWERFUL jaws by now. It really is amazing sometimes how much they eat.
Last Christmas, I tried to keep a running count of calories they were taking in, specifically Elizabeth and Chels. Laney and Emily where lost causes, but those two weren't THAT far gone, they still got a chance of comin' back, right? Well that day kind of told me loud and clear, They will keep gettin' fatter their whole lives. Breakfast alone, they both ate more calories than they needed in a whole day. It didn't end there, neither. There wasn't never a full minute where they weren't chewing on SOMETHING. Yeah, they can blame genetics all they want, but as long as I'm still skinny, they ain't got a leg to stand on.
Then again, I been wonderin' lately if they might actually have a point. Now I obviously haven't been gettin' HUGE or nothin', but in the last six months, I HAVE gained about a few pounds. And it don't seem to be goin' away neither. One thing's sure though. If I do start getting fatter, I ain't gonna be like my family and ignore it. Imma be dieting and exercising even more than I already do. Got to stop skipping jogs sometimes. You know, I missed the last four days? This new layer of fat's gettin' to me, I think.
My family's a bad influence on me when it comes to droppin' a few pounds, you know? I'm stoppin' at Macdonald's WAY too often. Most morning's I stop when I'm joggin' but I already said somethin' about that. Keep findin' myself there in the middle of the day, though. That's gotta be addin' a few inches here and there. Mostly to my ass, that's pretty obvious. Used to be a size four pants, you know that? Well you can tell pretty quick THAT ain't true no more! I just moved up to a 10 about three weeks ago. And look at me now! These jeans are gettin' TIGHT! Yeah got to recommit to jogging. Maybe even start doin' push-ups and junk like that. It really don't matter WHAT I start doin' long as it gets done and I stop gainin' you know?
So yeah, I'm gettin' kinda chunky these days, ever since they put in that Macdonald's along my jogging route. I tried to find a new one, but the only other one I've found goes right by the Dunkin' Donuts! Lesser of two evils and all that. I figure a Mcgriddle and a smoothie every morning's way less calories than a couple of donuts. Donuts are' kind of a weakness of mine. I eat one, I gotta eat three or more. Can't burn that much off in one jog, you know? Might be able to work off the Mcgriddle, so that's what I go for.
I'm thinkin' these restaurants are turnin' the whole town into a bunch of fatasses. Look at that woman over there, snackin' on a cupcake. That's Kathleen. She was my best friend all durin' high school. We exercised together, ran track on the same relay team. We made fun of the fat kids in school relentlessly. Always swore we'd never get fat. And until the last six or seven months, we kept to that. Now look at her! All that fat went straight to her tits. What is that, twenty pounds or more? Got to be kinda jealous of them knockers, but that gut holdin' them up takes away most of their sex appeal. Used to run together about five times a week. She hadn't turned up even once in the last month and a half! Well, considering the size of them tits, I'd say it makes sense. I couldn't even IMAGINE how it'd be to try to run with them things bouncin' all over the place! I'm
Still, that ain't nothin' compared to Chelsea. I swear that girl's put on forty pounds at LEAST in the last year! It seems like every time I see her she's got a Big Mac in her hands! Except when she's got a donut, that is. The rest of my sisters are about the same, but it's worse with Chels. She's probably gainin' twice as fast as any of the other sisters! That's sayin' a LOT with Elizabeth in the family. That girl's the worst of us most the time. I bet you right now, we're gonna come up on her, sittin' on her fat ass, with her mouth stuffed full of something she done taken off the counter and decided to snack on.
Chelsea workin' there too right now? She probably doin' the exact same thing! I got to say, I Can't totally say I blame them for doin' all that. The women around here are pretty damn good at baking, ESPECIALLY if it's some kind of dessert. Still, I'd at least TRY to hold myself back from makin' a pig out myself. I might get ONE brownie, but definitely not the whole dang PAN, like my sisters over there! How many you think they gone through? I'd guess about two or three each. I swear, every one of them is liable to eat enough food to feed an entire African village, all in one sittin'!
Well, here we are! And look at that! Surprise, surprise, they both chowin' down on some kind of cake or other. Got to wonder just how much they eatin' in total today. Well I got to take over now, so maybe we could get together and chat some other time? A'ight, so see you some other time then? Lookin' forward to it!
01-21-2012, 08:26 AM
A Southern Story #5 -Community Bonfire (with Elizabeth)
Hey, what are you doin' here? Oh, sorry if that sounded rude, I just wasn't expecting you! I mean, this is just people from town getting together to have some fun, not a big public thing!
You bein' here can only mean one thing. You moved down here! About time! How you like it so far? Yeah, TOLD you you'd like it! Oh what's that now? Oh, well what this is is just a proper southern party event, you had this kind of thing explained to you yet? You have? Oh, well then, welcome to your first one!
Yeah, that's what this is supposed to be, but to be honest it's more a chance to go spread gossip between the women. Yeah, that's why most of the people here are women, in case you were wonderin'. Just so you know, you'll probably be hearing somethin' 'bout be me gettin' fatter and havin' to move up to a size 24. I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but you got an honest face, so I'll be honest with you- it's true.
I know it's only been four months since the last time we talked, but yeah, that happened. Not that big a deal, I mean did you SEE how tight my jeans were last time we met? Those pants didn't last too long after the festival.. Actually, I ended up busting the back seam of those jeans about a week after that. No one saw it, so it's not like it was super embarrassing or anything. I really haven't gained that much, compared to my sisters. Yeah, this is I think the first time in history that I've actually gained the least of us all in a certain space of time. See, I'm sittin' here six pounds fatter than I was last time you saw me. Emily's carrying ANOTHER nine pounds round her waistline and Laney's got about eight more pounds on her tits.
I don't know why this kind of thing's still gossip. I mean, only one woman around here can honestly say that they haven't gotten any bigger, and that's Mrs. Peggy. She's town gossip, but gossip doesn't spread with only one person talking. Hypocritical gossip doesn't make sense, but apparently, it happens. Lucky for me, I'm least on the list of my family right now.
Tori's number one right now. Looks like I was right about the skinny sister turning into the fattest sister. She's not there yet, but she's definitely on her way. Remember how she was up to 140 last time, making her fifteen pounds fatter than the year before? Well, in the four months since, she hasn't been slacking off with the eating. She's totally fallen off the diet and exercise wagon. Not sure why, but that's how it is. It's not like she's constantly stuffing her face, but she definitely been coming home from work with Macdonald's bags a lot more than she probably should,
I think she's pretty nearly completely stopped her jogging routine. She used to do it daily, but now I think on it, I think she's only been out there about. . . .let's see. . . five times in the last four months? Last week, I went to look in her car for something and I couldn't miss the two totally empty Dunkin' Donuts boxes. Don't know when she bought those, but knowing her, she probably finished each of them off in record time. I'd put money that neither of them even lasted even a whole day.
The point? Simply that that girl has NO control when it comes to donuts. Makes sense she left the boxes in her car, though. She couldn't just take the boxes inside the house to toss them out. We'd never let her forget about that. I mean, this is the woman who spent most of her time bitching about how we never exercise and eat way too much, and now she's gone and eaten three dozen donuts? Now I think about it, those five times she went jogging, she came back with something extra than what she normally got at the Macdonald's. Mcgriddle, that kind of thing. I'm pretty sure she was stopping in there to get breakfast.
So yeah she's carrying a few extra pounds these days. Mostly on her ass like normal, but it's definitely starting to even out. The first fifteen pounds went to straight to her ass, rounding it out you know, ghetto-booty type body. This new weight's going different places. Don't get me wrong, her ass is getting fatter plenty, it's that's not the only place the that fat's been settling. Most of it actually moved to her belly more than her ass.
Last time you saw her, she had a tiny little muffin top, didn't she? Well now that muffin top's getting pretty huge. Her ass still took a lot of the weight, but now she's got a pretty good gut going on. No rolls yet, no legitimate love handles, but those ain't very far off. Maybe another ten, fifteen pounds. If she keeps this rate up, she'll be past that before the years out!
Shouldn't take too long. You realize that it took her a year to gain the fifteen pounds before this and now, in about a third that time, she's gained almost the same? If she keeps THAT up, she'll be fatter than me in no time!
I have no clue why my sisters all gained more that I did. I mean, I didn't change anything about what I'm doing every day! I'm eatin' just as much as ever and I'm definitely not exercising! I mean come ON! There are days when the only walking I do is heading to the door for the pizza delivery guy! Well, now I think about it, on those days, I have to get up and do that a lot. . . But all that pizza's GOT to make up for all that walking!
What the heck are they eating that's making them so fat, so fast? Pure lard? That's all I can figure. Well, you know what, I'm totally okay with them getting fat faster than I am! I mean, it's not like it's some kind of contest!It's not like we're TRYING to look like cows, it just happens, you know?
I just love me some food and do NOT like exercise. Seriously, WHY would anyone put themselves through that kind of torture? So what if I get out of breath just walking up a flight of stairs? What's it really matter? Jogging doesn't help, it just puts all that fat out there for the world to see. You won't necessarily lose weight, either.
You want proof of that, look at my cousin Jen. She ran track up until she blossomed senior year. She grew a great rack, and went the way Laney went, getting fatter and fatter, her tits getting bigger and bigger. You know what? She kept jogging the whole time, all the way 'til she graduated. Jogging didn't get her thin, not at all, she just kept on porking out the whole time!
Yeah I know, nothing compared to how big she got when she stopped, but that's not important. I'm really kind of amazed how long she kept on jogging considering how massive her tits got. I didn't even know they MADE sports bras for DDs, but apparently they do. Not for anything bigger, though. That's why she stopped running. You ever tried jogging without a sports bra? Well I've never jogged period, so I definitely haven't ever tried anything THAT stupid, but I can imagine how it would be.
And it's not like guys around here just start ignoring you when you start getting chubby. Look around. Look over there. That's Heather, Remember her? I talked about her last time we saw each other. Now she ain't THAT much bigger, but check out her dress. I don't know how she got that thing on! I swear girls around here are magic with squeezing into clothes. She's getting married come April. Not too big a shocker though, is it?
Men around here been dealing with their women getting fat for years now, all she's done is get started on that early! Doesn't hurt it all went to her ass, neither. Guys like a juicy behind, I can attest to THAT! Now some men down here get all upset 'bout their women getting big, you can ask Laney about all that, but most of them just accept it and deal. Some of them even seem to like it! I can get that, I mean boobs and ass ain't nothing but fat gone to the right places!
You been over to the catering table? NO?! Okay, you really don't know what this sort of thing is about, do you? Okay, first thing, Here. Have a few drinks. You got to loosen up a bit, then you get to the catering table and. . . Well. . . you know the rest. Look over there, you can see just how much those girls been getting to eating.
Oh look, it's Jen! You know, that cousin I was tellin' you about? That's her over there by the fondue fountain! What's she doing there with that mug? Hey, that's a good idea! Look at that, she's got the mug filling up under the fountain! That right there? That's GENIUS! Pure liquid chocolate? Can you say DREAM DRINK?
Sorry, but I got to go right now and get me some! Why don't you try talking to one of my sisters? Don't bother with Chelsea or Tori, they're both wasted and stuffing themselves by the catering table. I'd try with Emily or Laney, they'd probably be better, you know? Hey, listen, I got to go, it looks like some of the other girls got the same idea and I just HAVE to get some!
(Continued in post 13 of this thread)
Sir, you are derelict in your duties. Such wonderful engaging writing cannot be left abandoned.
Moderator, call CPS (Cancelled Prose Services) on suspicion of neglect!
02-07-2012, 01:17 AM
Ummm ... generally we give authors at least a month before calling a general alarm. :)
Noooooooooo! MUST HAVE! :eek:
02-14-2012, 02:07 PM
Sorry, things have gotten busy again. Next part is in editing
Sorry, things have gotten busy again. Next part is in editing
:) :) :) :) :)
03-02-2012, 04:03 PM
A Southern Story #6: Laney's Viewpoint
Yeah, I'm Laney, why? I'm sorry if I'm being rude, but I got to wonder. Do I know you? I mean, have we been introduced? OH, you been talking to Elizabeth! Well I've never been one to dismiss my family and if she told you to come talk to me. . . So tell me, what you doing around here? I KNOW never saw you before, Ah, you're new! Well THAT explains a lot. Well here, I'm gonna do you a HUGE favor. I'm gonna try to give you an idea bought some people 'round here.
Okay, let's start over there. See that HUGE woman over there sitting in the bed of that pick-up truck? Yeah, that's my mama. You see the family resemblance? Well, knowing my sisters, they probably said a good bit about the family curse. I swear, that bunch is so self centered. Can't keep the conversations off themselves for more than a minute. But yeah, they're right, none of us is immune. We thought Tori might be for a while, but look at her now, it's pretty OBVIOUS she's isn't.
Yeah, Elizabeth's right with what she said about me, I stayed skinny up until I got married. Started gaining weight pretty quick after the ceremony, and for a little while, my man LOVED it. Makes sense, if you think about it. Look at me, where you think I gained weight first? All that weight went straight to my tits. Kinda lucky considering the family curse. I mean the ONE place it's okay to be heavy and that's where I gain! So yeah, my then husband absolutely LOVED my gain. . . At first. About when my gain hit twenty pounds and started going elsewhere, he went and filed for divorce. He liked the boobs, but the spare tire I'd grown, THAT was too far.
Four years and 140 pounds after all that, I don't really see me losing any of this weight. I got no willpower to make a diet work out, and I can't even try exercising! If you can find an F-cup sports bra, call me up, maybe I could stop getting' even fatter, If you can't, well then. I guess I'll just keep on getting fatter and fatter. If family history is anything to go by, I'll probably never get my weight under control, and honestly, I really don't care one way or another.
Really, I'm starting to think NO ONE in my family cares about all that. Look at them! My mama's 'bout 400 pounds and look at her over there, digging into that ice cream carton. Look at Emily over there, almost 300 pounds and she's over there, sitting on her fat ass finishing off a pan of brownies! Look over there at Chelsea, she's nearly passed out from digging into that cheesecake she's eaten about half of. Obviously, none of them give a crap about their weight, or else they wouldn't be doing all that.
Tori's more or less alone in really WANTING to stay skinny, not that she's doing herself any favors over there at the catering table. She SAYS she wants to be skinny, but look at her! Yeah, thing is, she can't even admit to herself how fat she's gotten. She and Elizabeth got that in common, at least, they're both in pretty serious denial over their weight right now. What's that? Oh yeah, Elizabeth too, it's just a bit different.
See, Tori's in more a traditional denial, check her out over at the catering table over there. She wearing short shorts and a tank top after all! She obviously went and got bigger shorts, but I don't think that shirt's something new since she been getting fat. Even though she's got some bigger pants, look at her! You really think them shorts gonna fit tomorrow once all them brownies start showing up on her ass in the morning? She ain't gonna accept that, either. She gonna force her fat ass into them and bust them out tomorrow.
Elizabeth done that, too, busting out of her pants. What now, she told you that didn't happen in public? HA! See, she's in denial, same as Tori. A bit different yeah, she KNOWS she's fat, but she's never gonna actually acknowledge how much fatter she's gotten. Yeah, she busted outta her 22s about a week after the fundraiser. Still wouldn't move up a size right away. She could still get her spare jeans on after about five minutes of fighting, so far as she was concerned, she was still a 22.
Total, I think she busted out her pants about three times. She'd have kept wearin' them, too if she suddenly couldn't force them on. What's that, she said she said at least she's not gettin' fat as her sisters? HA, that's another thing she ain't about to admit! Yeah, she's right, she's gained less, pounds wise than me, Chelsea or Emily, but thing is, that don't mean nothing when she's only five-two and the rest of us over five-seven.
Now it's different with Tori there, she's even SHORTER than Elizabeth, but with how much she's gained, that really ain't nothin' to brag about. I swear, five pounds on a girl like me, five-ten, barely visible, but on a girl her size, five pounds is a LOT. And I'm pretty sure every woman around here passed the five pound mark about three months ago.
Yeah, every girl around here's gotten fatter since they built that Macdonald's, but from the last months, we're seeing that level out a bit. Probably got something to do with with how we've all gotten used to it being there. Oh, most of the chicks around here still getting fat, but that's just normal here! Now something like fifty pounds in one year, THAT'S a lot. And that's what we were seeing right after Ronnie Mc and company came in.
Nah, normal for us about five or ten pounds per year, more right after you get married. I'd estimate bout twenty pounds first year married, then it goes back to the five or ten. Some of us, though, like most the girls in my family, we just get started earlier and gain faster than normal. Well we DID, but now with all the new fast food places around here, it's looking more like we're exactly average!
I mean, Tori hasn't even been gaining the fastest the last few months! That girl right there? That's Lily, the mayor's daughter. Used to be in all his campaign posters. You can see why. Pretty face, stereotypical perfect body. 36-24-36 and all that. I know, don't look possible! You should have SEEN her during bikini season this summer! She's done pretty much the same as Tori, won't accept how fat she's gotten. Still went to the town pool every day during the summer to work on her tan, just about to fall right out that tiny little bikini!
Let me tell you, that girl has some SERIOUS cellulite these days. She's same height as Tori, but I'd guess she's gone and gained about fifteen, twenty pounds lately! Still pretty though. Still got guys lining up round the block for her. From what I've seen, guys 'round here really don't care too much about a girl being skinny. Probably some kind of self-defense mechanism, what with all the girls getting fat sometime.
Even me, 260 pound me, still get asked out from time to time! I'm kinda cautious though, I been fooled once by a guy acting nice, but only wanting me for my body. I mean, yeah, these guys are liking it NOW, but what 'bout when I get up to 400 pounds like my mama? Got to find someone like my daddy, never bothering a girl 'bout her weight, just accepting her for what she is. I get the feeling sometimes he kinda likes it, actually. . .
I don't know why I'm just talking about my family, I said I'd go through all the important people! Keep in mind that 'round here, political figures ain't nothing but figureheads. It's most the other people who REALLY get things done.
So yeah, my family's probably the most powerful in this town. Everyone of us grown up here, all the way back to my grandparents and down here, the old families get respect. Probably the only reason the mayor is where he is. Now his family isn't quite as old as us, but his parents moved here before he was born, so everyone knows them. Plus he married a local girl which is a big bonus around here. People are a lot more comfortable with people they've known their whole lives, so that's who they hang around if possible!
I told you plenty about me and my sisters though, probably getting boring, so let's move on a bit. That woman over there, that's Peggy Ryan. Now she doesn't hold any political office, but she'd kinda like my mama. She got dirt on everyone IN office. She's smart with it though, she can keep it a secret 'til it works out in her favor.
Now, she probably don't have anything on YOU, what with you being so new in town but give it a month. She'll contact you, tell you what she knows and she'll have you by the throat long as she lives. Eh, shouldn't be TOO long until then, judging by the looks of her. I swear that woman's got to be 98 years old, and she remembers EVERYTHING.
Her daughter ain't quite so powerful, but Mrs. Peggy's been educating her granddaughter, Megan, pretty well about all that, so her legacy probably won't end any time soon. 'Course Megan's memory isn't quite as good as hers, but it's good enough. Then again, from past history, she's easier to satisfy than Mrs. Peggy. Mrs. Peggy don't compromise nothing. She picks a side and lord help you if you're against that.
Ms Peggy chooses one thing, never moves on from it. Probably why she's the only woman ever came from 'round here who NEVER got fat. Like I said though, Megan's not so disciplined. That's her over there, the big one, eating that huge old piece of cake. Probably her third or fourth one too. Yeah, I'd be willing to bet she accepts bribes to keep things quiet where her grandmama don't.
Third, check out that girl I showed you a minute ago, the mayor's daughter? That's her way up there. Lily's got her daddy in her pocket if you know what I mean. Power behind the throne. His wife could be up there, but she just kinda accepts things as what they are, doesn't ever want to change anything. Lily wants something done, it GETS DONE. She ain't campaign-poster-material no more, but she still got more power than the whole city council. Heck, she helped pick out caterers for this whole thing! Judging by the looks of it, I'd think she might have had too much trouble deciding between two of them, so she went with both of them.
Look at her! Exactly the kind of thing a woman like her would do, just get as much food in as possible. She definitely looks like she's taking in as much of it as possible! Ain't no way that dress was that short when she got here!
So yeah, that's the big three groups in this town. Now if you'll excuse me, I still haven't made it over to the caterers and that fried catfish is looking DELICIOUS!
04-02-2012, 01:51 PM
A Southern Story #7: Christmas (Chelsea's Viewpoint)
Oh hey! Man, what's it been, a year and a half, two years? Elizabeth and the others kept saying about how you'd moved down here, but we never talked, so I didn't really know! What do you think about this place?
Oh hey, this is your first Christmas in town, isn't it? Okay then, prepare to have your mind blown!
We have this festival deal once a year, and the town puts EVERYTHING into it. You probably noticed that, didn't you!
Yeah, we got the whole deal, fake snow, Christmas trees all over the place, they don't spare anything! They even got girls in those "elf helper" costumes like they got in malls! Oooh, they REALLY aught not have let Tori into one of those dresses this year. . .
I mean, she's been doing that same routine every Christmas since she was 18, but they at LEAST could've upped the costume size a bit more. I mean, it looks bad on ALL those girls, but it looks like one wrong move and Tori's going to just pop right out of that dress! Hah, and she didn't even complain to anybody. . . When is she just going to accept that she's turning into a fat cow?
HA! Look at her over there! She's just helping herself to the candy canes out that bucket! Oh just wait until her shift is over, that dress is going to look PAINTED on!
Oh, you doubt me now, just wait until you try some of the food here. Just you wait. I'll show you what I mean, okay? Okay, so this here is some of Mrs. Jessie's chocolate pie, just try a piece. Here I'll get me one, too. Oh this is good! –Thank you Mrs. Jessie, that was AMAZING– Yeah, I can NOT resist her stuff. That was actually my second piece of the evening. OOH, you've GOT to get some of this in you!
– Mrs. June, two of your -aw, make it three- three of your brownies. – Here, just you try one, you will thank me later, trust me. Aw no, this other one's for ME! Get your own! Ooh, let's go over here, they got pie eating contest. They've never had one of these before, if you can believe it. HA, just right they'd start that this year!
Stupid women, this contest is retarded. It's like they're TRYING to turn into pigs! You can't even tell me they do it because they like pie because trust me, when you eat that fast, you don't hardly taste the pie. Now if they judged by how MUCH you can eat, I'd be interested. This whole thing is pretty much an excuse to eat anyway, I might as well have a chance to win money anyway.
I wonder who all's up there. . . Okay I can see Lily, [there's a shocker] Heather, [used to be a cheerleader if you could believe it] Megan [Laney told you about her, right?] and you already know Elizabeth.
I'm putting my money on my sister, but this actually might be a close race. I mean, Elizabeth's got them on experience, but Lily and Heather been gaining like three times as fast as her, so they're more recently experienced. Megan's a bit of a wild card. She's been chubby for a long time, so she's gained a bunch but it's not quite so crazy as them.
Bet you ten bucks Lily's dress comes apart at the seams before the night is over. I'd say before they finish the contest, but I like to keep my options open, you know? Oof, now I see the rest of them, I'm thinking they're ALL going to pop out their clothes.
Why'd they dress up like that anyway? I mean, it's not a totally casual thing here, but you could at LEAST wear stretchy jeans! I mean, I didn't, but I'm not the one eating like that! I mean a little, yeah, but honestly, just tell me who could walk around a place like this and NOT eat a little more than they ought to?
I've been in this town long enough, getting used to all the amazing food, I'm pretty immune to– Ooh look, they're selling those little bundt cake things! We have just got to get some!
I never really understand these things. Why do they make them so freaking tiny? Are they supposed to be like, single person things? Because if so, they need to make them bigger because I need like two of them before I'm satisfied. –Hey, you know what, could you make it three? I'll split one with my friend here– Here you go!
So where was I? Oh yeah, I mean, dressing up nice to this is just STUPID! I mean, half this little party is about eating, so why would anyone even think of wearing something tight? And fancy? How stupid is that? What if you spilled barbecue sauce on yourself? Speaking of that, have you tried the barbecue chicken Mr. Mike's got cooking over by the courthouse? No?
Okay, that's it, we are going over there right now! You are having some of that chicken, don't try to argue! This year he outdid himself, believe me; this is the best it's been in at LEAST ten, fifteen years.
And here we are, what do you want, dark meat or white meat? I'll just take what I had last time, ooh, maybe an extra roll. Hey, let's sit over here for a while, I'm getting kinda tired of standing around. HA! TOLD you the chicken was amazing! I should know, this makes my third plate at this booth!
Ugh, do you mind if we just sit here for a bit, give this a while to digest a bit, it's kinda hard to walk when you're this full. God, I'm just about WADDLING over here!
Hey, I got an idea, I'm introducing you to all the best food out here, how about I tell you where to go, and you get some for the both of us! That'd be like the best of both worlds! Yeah, true, the food's not half as important as me showing you around this whole place.
You know what? There's a stall right there. They sell funnel cake. Do yourself a favor and get some. You know what? While you're there get me one - No - get me two of them, alright? Then just head back and we'll finish catching up.
Alright so tell me. Have you ever had funnel cake before? Yeah I figured you had, but I had to ask. Good stuff, no? Ugh, give me a second, I just HAVE to get these pants unbuttoned. Woooh, THAT'S a relief! Ha, this is why I don't need two things of funnel cake! BOY, GET YOUR HAND AWAY! I said I don't NEED it, that don't mean I'm not going to eat it! Wow, just listen to me! I sound like such a fatass!
Oh, funnel cake, why must it be so delicious? I swear, If they sold funnel cake like this in grocery stores, I'd be fatter than mama in six months! Oh, you're going and getting seconds? Told you it was addicting! Hey, while you're up, could you get me another one? Yeah, thanks. Oooh, I really can't be eating this. . .
Like I really need to get any bigger. . You know, last time we saw each other, I was only about 180 pounds – I know I told you somewhere in then 160s, I just couldn't admit to myself how fat I'd been getting! This is embarrassing, but you know what? The whole town probably knows by now,you might as well, too.
Okay, so I just went to Dr. Bob the other day, you know what he told me?
Wait, let me just set the scene for you a bit. So the time before this, he told me I'd gotten up to just over 187 pounds and my waist was swollen up to 32 inches. This time I was all the way up 223 pounds with a 38 inch waist. Ugh, if he checked again right now it'd be more like 45 inches or something. Oh gosh, I feel freaking PREGNANT!
So where was I. . . OH YEAH, this whole thing is pretty much just another reason for us girls to to go around making giant pigs out of ourselves. and look around, you see how it's working! Look, right over there. D'you see that blonde chick laying out on the grass? That'd be Sarah Hendry, and believe it or not, she is NOT pregnant! I know right?
She was in my graduating class, but we weren't close friends or anything like that. Girl does know how to party, though, I'll give her that. Anyways, getting off topic. So yeah, she did like normal for around here and started getting fat somewhere about three years after we graduated, but not too bad.
Then we got all these restaurants in town and I swear it's like she just never stops eating anymore! I saw her on my way up here this morning. I stopped in for breakfast at Mcdonald's and she was eating like a pig, totally surrounded by Big Mac wrappers and fries. Well yeah, I ate more than a few myself, but that's not the point.
The point is, she's over there, same predicament as me, but probably even worse off than I am, and I bet you if you walked around here awhile, you'd find at LEAST fifteen different girls in just about the exact same condition, bellies swollen up like water balloons.
Oh hold up, I just realized. Oh, I am so sorry, this is supposed to be your time to go around and meet people isn't it! I don't know what I was thinking; you're still new in town; you still got to meet everybody! Well, with that in mind, you really aught to try starting up near the courthouse, that's usually where everybody congregates at things like this.
No, no, go on without me; I'm gonna pop if I eat even one more thing, and walking around is just showing me more irresistible stuff to eat. Go on, get moving already I've wasted enough of your time just jabbering on! I'll probably be coming up a bit after you, I just need to lay here a while.
(Continued in in post 18 of this thread)
04-02-2012, 05:31 PM
Very well written!
You have an original style, as the tale is just one big dialogue. These girls are so alive with all their exclamations and interjections. I have never been to southern USA (or anywhere else in America for that matter), but I really can feel a southern flavor while I read your story.
I sure hope that you can develop in depth the different Wesson sisters giving each one a distinct personality.
BTW this story is far more original than the (frankly boring and cliché) "expanding cheerleader". No offense meant, but you should focus your efforts on this saga.
04-02-2012, 08:53 PM
BTW this story is far more original than the (frankly boring and cliché) "expanding cheerleader". No offense meant, but you should focus your efforts on this saga.
Advice is advice. Especially from you, Borghen. If it makes my work better, why should I be offended?
My advice is MOAR! :) Very creative piece.
04-04-2012, 05:45 PM
A Southern Story #8: Christmas (Tori's viewpoint)
Oh hey, it's been a while!
How you enjoying yourself at the festival? I'm just finished my shift, so I'll walk around a bit with you show you things. Wait, Chelsea did that already? Well let's go around again, shall we? Just gimme a second here, I've just GOT to get out of this stupid elf costume crap they make us put on.
Ugh, that's so much better! I mean, I've been dressing up as an elf for this thing for years now, you'd THINK they'd know to have my size! I'll be the first to tell you I gained a little weight, but really? Did you SEE how tight that thing was? It was like they were dressing me up in shrink wrap or something! The other girls weren't any better off either, let me tell you.
Okay that's enough on that, so what's Chelsea been telling you? HAH, that sounds JUST like her to go around showing you the “best food!” You know you were just another excuse for her to eat, right? Like she NEEDS another, have you SEEN how huge she's getting! Pinch an inch, my ass, more like “pinch six inches!” Did she tell you she's over 200 now? I swear, That girl eats pretty much constantly!
Well one thing I can't argue is her taste in food, Mrs. Jessie's pie is to DIE for. –Sure yes, I'll take two pieces – I swear she must put crack in these things. Oh, sorry, I forgot to ask, did you want any? No? Aw dang, that's why I ordered two, because I thought you would. Well now I got to eat this thing before it gets warm and nasty.
Yeah, excuse me if I'm eating the whole time we're talking, they wouldn't let us bring snacks with us when we're around Santa. Probably good thing, now I think about it, I probably would've popped out that dress in two seconds if I could've got ahold of some of these hot dogs! Ugh, might just pop out of these blue jeans!
I really aught to just do the washing up myself, I swear Elizabeth shrinks my clothes just to torture me. You know what? Forget it! Today is about eating like a pig, I may as well just look the part! Ahh, that's better. . .
Much as I want to though, I can't put all this off on my clothes shrinking. It's things like this that're doing it to me. Okay, so I wasn't planning on talking about this, but it's obvious you see it. I've gained some weight lately. It's nothing compared to how my sisters are, but yeah, it's gotten pretty bad last few months.
I really got to get back on my old diet and exercise plan some time after this. I've been putting it off the last few weeks, though. I'm going to wreck my diet today, that's a given. No one could stick to one when they're here. I mean, just look around you. The food here is to DIE for! I honestly think half the women in town are going to wake up ten pounds fatter tomorrow, it's just a matter of whether they'll stay that way. I'm planning not to, but that's what I told you twenty pounds ago, so we'll just see how this goes.
Even if I DON'T lose the weight, it's not like people are going to notice and get worked up. I mean, getting fat, it's not like that sets me apart at all. We're just turning into a town made of butterballs! It's like a curse or something.
I say everyone, I MEAN everyone. Okay, see those girls over by the courthouse? That'd be Lauren and Carly Mink. They're sisters, born a year apart, okay? Lauren's the dirty-blonde one with the particularly fat ass and the short skirt, Carly's the short brunette one with her fat all kind of spread out all along her body.
Well, they've both let themselves go like you probably wouldn't believe. You obviously see how they are now, but it's only when you compare to how they were only about one, two years ago that it gets ridiculous. Both of them won “most athletic” their senior year. Lauren beat me out, even! Now look at them, stuffing their faces over there, like they haven't eaten since graduation.
Probably been doing that since they got here, first thing this morning, too, an ass that fat doesn't just pop up outta nowhere. Look at that thing, it's just about as big as Elizabeth! Carly's no better off, I mean look at that, her belly's just about hanging out of her shirt! I mean, it's not there yet, but give it a month or two. Less if she keeps downing those smoothies the way she is.
And this keeps getting more and more common around here! I know how, last time, I was saying that my family was the absolute worst when it comes to this kind of thing, and that was true at the time but not anymore. I mean, we're all still fat as hell and getting fatter, except me of course, but there's some people now that're even worse about it.
Take Lily for example. I used to run with her in high school. She was one of my best friends. I hung out with her last week. She took me to Mcdonald's, then stopped by KFC because she was ”freaking STARVING!”
I probably ate two times as much as I would have otherwise that day, all because of her. But no, doesn't matter how much I ate because she ate like five times as much as I did. And you know? I don't think she even has a clue why she's getting so big. If she does she definitely doesn't seem to understand how to stop it, or maybe she doesn't even care?
What's that now? She was in that pie eating contest? Yeah, that sounds about right. Elizabeth was in that too, wasn't she? Do you know who won? Probably Elizabeth, but Lily probably gave her a good run for her money, from what I've seen outta her lately.
I desperately wanted to sign up for that, but they had me doing this whole thing instead, with the outfit and all that. I mean, I've got the most experience with this job of anyone in town, but I was kind of counting on using this whole thing as an excuse to eat my own weight in pie! I mean, this is my cheat day for the year.
The rest of the year I'm on a diet, but the Christmas festival? No, the Christmas festival is all about eating, whatever I want, as much of it as I want. Ah well, it's still early in the day. I think there's another one of these contests happening about eight tonight, I might sign up for that one.
Only thing is, I'd have to hold off on food a bit and like Chelsea's probably already told you, that's pretty much the entire point of this whole thing. Anybody here'll tell you just about the same, even BEFORE every woman in town turned into a bunch of lazy pigs. Actually, I bet the girls who end up competing anyways will have eaten all day too, so I won't be at any kind of disadvantage. . .
UGH, listen to me, I sound worse than Elizabeth right now! Talking about entering in eating contests. . . See it's things like that that separate women like me from women like her. I mean, why can't she just take a second and get herself under control for just a minute! It's like she can't go more than fifteen minutes without eating something! No wonder she's ballooning so fast, the kind of eating she's been doing. The whole freaking town is suddenly obsessed with food and she's just. . . Woah, hold up, you have just GOT to try a bite of this!
This is your first time to one of these so you don't know it, but they have all this stuff here this year they never had before, it's crazy! I mean they have all the usual stands, but they brought in all these other carts they've never had before! I didn't even know they MADE deep fried cheesecake but now I need another piece! Ugh, WANT another piece; god, I got to remember that; I've probably eaten enough by now to last me through Easter Sunday! Well, I suppose at this point, a little more doesn't really matter THAT much. . .
Got Lily to thank for this crazy food, you know. Laney said she'd told you, but I have to make sure, she explained to you how it is with Lily and these things, right? She wants it, it's there. Lily must have gone online and found all these new food sellers, and oh my GOSH do I need to thank her! This is the best year I can remember! Here, just TRY a piece of this! It's a deep fried freaking Snickers! HOW genius is that? It's not quite as good as the fried Twinkies, but STILL!
Ugh, I am so going to regret this tomorrow! No, I'm not even going to THINK about that, this is my cheat day, my diet is gone, out the window, I'm DONE with that! For today, anyhow, it's all starting up again tomorrow. Has to, I mean do you SEE me right now? I look like I'm about to give birth to a set of triplets any second now! Tomorrow morning, there's going to be twenty pounds worth of fried Twinkies settling down on my ass, and I'm not about to let them get comfortable!
Ooh man I don't even want to THINK about how many hours on a treadmill it'll take to burn off even one of those Twinkies, let alone FOUR of them! Ugh, these things are DENSE, even more than they look! Eating like this, I see how Lily's gotten so fat so fast, but trust me, I'm not going the same way, I'm just not going to eat if that's what it takes! This time I mean it! Ugh, slow DOWN!
Whoo, you mind if we sit somewhere awhile? You can keep walking, I just need to rest a while, this food baby's throwing my balance off. Wait, not here, let's move a bit closer to that stand there, I'd love another chunk of fried cheesecake. Ooh, they sell ice cream here too? Yeah, you just keep moving, there's still people here you need to meet, and I don't think I'm taking another step until closing time!
(Continued in post 21 of this thread)
04-04-2012, 06:50 PM
You've been at this particular story for a good while, and I thought you deserved to hear that it's very enjoyable. Your dedication is appreciated, and I think you should be pleased with what you've produced so far. Thanks for all the work you've put into it.
So Mr. Editor, it's been a month. Can we go after Bob with pitchforks now?
05-16-2012, 02:22 AM
A Southern Story #9 : Checking in (Laney's viewpoint)
HEY! Gosh it feels like it's been forever since the last time we saw each other!
What's been happening in your life lately? GOT to be better than where I am. You hear yet? They fired me from the clinic last week. Some contrived but not what was really going on reason, I don't know exactly why. Anyways, I got to find a job now. Probably going to end up at the KFC, I heard there's openings there.
Can you IMAGINE me working at KFC? I'd probably balloon up ANOTHER twenty pounds in, like, two months! I'll probably get fired from sneaking a little chicken, too!
I was blimping out working at the clinic, can you IMAGINE how fast I'd gain weight with an employee's discount to KFC? Kiss any thought of a diet goodbye! Not that I'd be going on a diet anyways, it'd be pretty much hopeless, but you know what I mean.
I just don't have the willpower, you know? There's a cake in front of me, I eat cake! Like I said, it's only halfway a curse, since all my weight goes to my tits, but still. Where's the glory in a G cup it your gut's just nearly as big?
Besides, dieting's not really an option anyways, what with me being out of work. Everything healthy just costs way too much! I mean, I've literally been living off Macdonald's and Mama's food for the past two weeks. Neither one's exactly low calorie, I mean, Mama didn't get to where she is eating tofu!
On the other hand, no income means no money for gas, so I been walking pretty much everywhere the whole time. Not that it's helping, I mean, I weighed myself yesterday,you know what I'm up to now? 301. I've finally broke the three hundred mark. Just a matter of time, I guess, but still. More than three hundred.
Elizabeth's not too far behind, though, the way she's been going, she'll be breaking 300 in the next year or so. I tell you, watching her getting dressed every morning is kind of hilarious. She's better about moving up sizes than Tori, but you've seen how Tori is. That is really not saying a blasted thing.
Speaking of Tori, have you SEEN her lately? It's coming up on Summer, and you know what that means. Bikini season. She sits out every day, tanning in her tiny little bikini, and TRUST ME, that is NOT a pretty sight! It doesn't exactly help she's doing it with Lily, who hasn't exactly been slacking on the snacking either! It's like two baby whales laying out on the porch! And you know they have to have snacks the whole time.
Me and Elizabeth been placing bets on which one of them's going to bust out first. She says it's gonna be Tori, but my bet's on Lily. I mean, looking at her, she's gotta be two cup sizes bigger than her bikini, not that she's noticed! Tori's not any better, all her fat's just hanging out, on display for the whole world to see! How far can denial go, you think? Tori still rags on us from time to time about how lazy we are, but have you SEEN how fat she's been getting lately? I swear it's like she's eating pure lard three times a day! Mark my words, she'll break 200 by new years!
So that's enough of that, how you melding into the town? Gotten to know everybody yet? Ah well, give it some time, you will. Scratch that, you better. I didn't go through all of that at the bonfire for my health! That was important stuff you gotta KNOW!
I haven't heard any gossip, so at least you took my advice on avoiding Mrs. Peggy. Good job on that, most people last about two months before she's got something on them. Then again, with the way Tori's been acting, she's been pretty busy lately. Yeah, it seems Tori's size 16 pants have finally reached the breaking point, but she can't bring herself to just move up a size. I mean, they've been ridiculously tight for ages, but now she's squeezing into them and having them bust off a few hours later. It's happened like four times now!
Well it was nice chatting with you! I gotta go, talk to the KFC manager, but I'll see you later!
(Continued in post 23 of this thread)
05-16-2012, 02:26 AM
So Mr. Editor, it's been a month. Can we go after Bob with pitchforks now?
No you cannot. I can't help life getting in the way of writing, now can I? But it's summer now, so I have free time
05-16-2012, 06:48 AM
A Southern Story #10: "Sunbathing (Tori's viewpoint)
Oh, hey there! How you been?
Me, I'm doing good, I just LOVE summertime, don't you? What you think of my tan? I've been laying out every day for the past few weeks, and it's coming along pretty good, don't you think? It's Summer time, which means bikini season is coming, and you have to have a tan for bikini season, right?
Normally, Lily's out here, too, but something came up, so she couldn't make it.
Just between you and me, she didn't say it, but I think I know what it is. I think she couldn't squeeze herself into her bikini and is out getting a new one. Hopefully something with a little more coverage! Oh I kid, but seriously, it's been ridiculous! I know, I can't say much; I mean, I've gained weight too; my bikini's way tight, but trust me, it's nowhere near as bad as hers was! She probably should have moved up ten pounds ago!
Doesn't help that all that fat goes straight to her gut, either! I mean with someone like me, getting fat's still a bad thing, but the fat goes straight to my ass. There are guys who like that, you know? What kind of guy likes a chick who looks 8 months pregnant? I'll tell you what kind, weirdos. Creepy guys, that's who.
I'm probably not going to get a bigger size though; as of yesterday, I'm on a diet; I'll be back to this size in no time.
I really have let myself go this last year, and I can't stand it, so I'm gonna try and get back to exercising and eating right. You heard about my recent wardrobe malfunctions, right? Yeah, I really NEED to get a bigger size, but I'm already in the PLUS-SIZES! I can barely accept THAT, let alone STILL getting fatter! Size 18 just sounds so. . . BIG!
Lucky I don't LOOK that fat though. No real belly. I'm lucky I got that hourglass kind of body; it all goes either straight to my tits or straight my ass. Mostly my ass, but these girls aren't exactly tiny! I moved up to a DD cup a few weeks ago, you know that? Yeah, I like these. The thunder thighs, I could do without, but like I said, I'm not gonna have them for too much longer.
I'm not saying I'm like a supermodel or anything, I mean, I've gained something like fifty pounds since we met, and obviously not ALL of that went to my tits. I got a little tummy I have to work on; nothing TOO huge, though, thank God.
Just wish my sister's would follow my example for once. The diet thing, I mean. You know Laney broke 300 pounds a few weeks ago? I was actually surprised; from the look of her, she passed 300 months ago! And now she's working at the KFC, which TRUST ME, is not doing much for her waistline! She's not as big as Emily, but the way things are going. . .
Emily's actually stopped gaining for the most part. I guess it takes a lot of calories to maintain 345 pounds. Sure ain't because she eats healthy! You haven't talked to her yet, have you? Oh I got to introduce you sometime. She's kind of quiet at first, but once she's comfortable, she NEVER SHUTS UP!
You know what? Come back here tomorrow, I'll get her to come and y'all can talk and get to know each other!
Hey, before you go, do you think you could pass me that bag of Doritos on that table over there? Thank you so much! It's been nice chatting with you! Remember, tomorrow, at, say, 4:00? That good for you? ALRIGHT, see you then!
(Continued in post 26 on page TWO of this thread)
No you cannot. I can't help life getting in the way of writing, now can I? But it's summer now, so I have free time
OK. Well, how about I exchange my pitchfork for eternal gratitude? Nice work, again!
05-20-2012, 08:24 AM
Loving this. Please keep it up.
05-20-2012, 07:11 PM
-A Southern Story #11 - Meeting Emily
Hi, how are you? I've heard a good bit about you from my sisters, but for some reason we just kept missing each other, didn't we? Kinda crazy, the two of us in a town this small, never running into each other, isn't it?
Anyways, I've heard all about you, bur you don't know anything hardly about me, so let's go there. I work at a vet's clinic a few towns over. Hey, maybe that's why we haven't actually met! I've been working late the last few months, and when I get back here, I make a quick stop at Mickey D's or KFC or something, then I get home; no socializing with anyone, really.
You know, I'm just now realizing that that's all I've eaten the past few days. Fast food, I mean. Sundays we all meet up as a family for dinner Mama cooks, but I don't think I've had anything home cooked since then. Probably not healthy, but then, it's not like it could hurt any more than the two hundred extra pounds I'm walking around with anyway.
What worries me a little is watching Chelsea and Tori doing the same thing. I mean yeah, with our family history, it was pretty much inevitable they'd blimp out sooner or later, but this fast?
I mean, when I started gaining, it was something like five, ten pounds a year, now they're gaining like twenty per year. Well I say that, I don't have the actual numbers, but looking at them, it's gotta be something like that. I'm a little worried about Elizabeth, too, but she was gaining like that before the fast food places came in. I mean, they've probably had a little to do in how fast she's blowing up, but I think even if they didn't come here, she'd still be creeping up on 300. Plus there's no way in heck she's going to stop eating like she is.
I do not understand that girl. I mean, I get she's kind of stuck in a teenage rebellion phase, but it's almost like she's TRYING to get huge. If you ask her about it, she'll tell you she isn't, then she'll go to the fridge for ice cream and order herself an extra large pizza. Her butt's been inflating like a beach ball!
And you know, for all the talk of how disgusting fat girls are, she's definitely not got a problem there. Guys are practically lining up to go out with her. I think it's because all her fat goes straight to her ass. Guys like a big butt. Apparently, that still applies when the rest of the package is upsized a bit, too.
On the other hand, it might just be because of how her clothes are fitting. She hasn't broke down and bought the next size up, and let me tell you, you can tell. I mean, her favorite pair of stretchy shorts? If she's moving around, they wedge up her crack. EVERYTHING'S on display for the men to see, cellulite and all. But they like it, so that's how that goes.
Still, I wonder how they're gonna react when she gets as big as me or Laney. They like it the way it is, but what about when she gets bigger. That's what happened to Laney, you know. Her husband liked how the fat went straight to her tits, but when she started getting a spare tire, he was out of there like a rat outta a cage.
And of course, all this is making Tori furious. She's so used to being the sexy one in the family, she has no idea how to deal with it. So far, she's turned to food for comfort, which I can understand. Been there, done that. And look where it landed ME! Three hundred and forty-five pounds of pure blubber! And she's not helping herself, the way she's been dressing, either.
The thing about Tori is, having been the sexy one for so long, she still tries to wear sexy clothes all the time, like she used to, but it's not the same anymore. She used to wear belly-shirts all the time, but now they just show off her love handles and you can actually SEE the seams pulling apart on her short shorts. And she's realizing how hard it is to find sexy plus-size clothes, too. I actually saw her a few weeks ago, using a pair of scissors to turn a normal shirt into a deep, and I mean DEEP, cut V-neck.
She's trying to step up her sexy factor by wearing less and less clothing, trying to compete with Elizabeth, and you know, it's sort of helping, but it's also kind of sad. And then she's using food to cope, so you can just imagine the weight she's piling on. I really kinda feel sorry for her, but how do you help with this kind of thing? Give her a three layer cake? Yeah like that'll help her fit back into her old short shorts.
What else. . . Oh, did you hear the news about Chelsea? The local high school just hired her to be their new cheer coach! It's kind of her dream job come true. You know she was head cheerleader back in high school, right? No? Well she was, and she absolutely LOVED it. Anyways, the school remembered her, and asked her just a few days ago if she was interested.
Only worry is that she might have to do some demonstrations for the girls, teach them new stunts, that kind of thing, and she's not exactly in the same shape she was in high school. She can't touch her toes, how can she expect to be able to do a toe-touch? She was saying something about going on a diet and exercise program, try to get in shape for it.
My only comment on all this is, have you SEEN the girls on the squad? Okay, head cheerleader is Holly Bates, she's a bit older, a senior who's been on the cheer squad since junior high. Only this year, she's fifteen pounds heavier, that's got to throw off her balance a bit. Doesn't help most of it went to her boobs; there's a good chance of her popping out in the middle of a game! The rest of the squad's not much better off, either. I'm thinking if Chels can't do a stunt, I'm pretty darn sure they won't be capable of it either.
What do you think about all this? Ah, you know what, I almost forgot, I have a dentist's appointment at 5:30, and I got to get moving. Been nice getting to know you, we have to do this again sometime soon!
05-20-2012, 07:11 PM
A Southern Story #12 - Chelsea's Concerns
Welcome to Grandmother's Buttons, how may I help y-- Woah, hey what are you doing here in Grandmother's Buttons? Sorry, it's just it's not too often we get men your age in here, it's mostly just older and middle-age women!
Ah, never mind all that; how you been? I haven't seen you since Christmas; how's life been treatin' ya? Ah, good, good, hey, did you hear the good news? I'm cheer coach! Oh, Emily told you?
Oh that's right, you finally met Emily! What'd you think, ain't she just the sweetest person in the world? She tells it like it is, but she's just so nice about it you can't possibly get mad at her!
Anyways, back to where I was, this seriously is like a dream come true for me! No, you don't understand, I've been wanting this since I was in tenth grade. And it's finally happening!
We started about two, three weeks ago; looking good so far. Well, I say good, but there's a bunch of really basic stuff they're having WAY too much trouble with. Like pyramids, for example. Pretty common thing, three girls pick one girl up in the air, you must have seen it. I'd say it was one of the first things I ever learned as a cheerleader. Anyway, the lightest girls on the squad are supposed to be the ones on top, for obvious reasons. Problem is, the lightest girls really aren't that light! I'm really not being mean,it's just a fact, they're all at LEAST ten pounds overweight.
You don't believe me? They've had to order a whole new set of uniforms this year, exactly because of this! You should have seen the girls trying to cram themselves into the old ones! Course, I can't say much, I do the same most every morning with normal clothes. They should be coming in in a week or two, we ordered slightly large, just in case, but something tells me we won't have any problems!
All this kinda reminds me of one of the girls I cheered with in high school, Kathleen Rouprich. She was a bit older than the rest of us, and up until her senior year, flat as a board, skinny as a reed, but the summer between junior and senior year, she blossomed, and when I say that, I mean she REALLY blossomed, wide hips, double D's, the whole package and then some. But she was so used to being the girl on top of the pyramid, she tried to get up there, nearly broke her neck when the rest of us couldn't take the weight! She had a hard time keeping up that year, 'cause she wasn't used to the extra weight.
Thought it was the funniest thing ever at the time, but I can totally relate to that now. Kind of embarrassing, the first day, I tried to show them a toe touch and landed flat on my butt! Too scared to try and show them anything since that fiasco. I'm just too fat to be a cheerleader, now, sad to say.
I went on a diet before all this started so I'd be able to show them, and I actually lost ten pounds, but then came Elizabeth's birthday, and next morning, I woke up, there they were again; don't you just HATE when that happens?
Yeah, don't you hate when that happens? You work your butt off, starve yourself and lose a tiny bit of weight, then the minute you give yourself a break and indulge, it's all back. Happens every time, doesn't it? Well, for me, anyway. It doesn't take much, either! It's like you go off your diet, eat ONE PIECE of cake, and BOOM, you gained it all back PLUS five pounds!
So anyway, I've started all over again, and so far, three pounds lost, but I'm a little worried since Tori's birthday is coming up soon. Don't want a repeat of Elizabeth's birthday all over again!
Laney's lost a little weight recently too, I'm kind of waiting to see if this happens to her, too, I'm kind of betting yes, but I'm giving her the shadow of the doubt. At the very least, maybe the weight will stay off longer.
I'd do what she did, but the "unemployment diet" doesn't sound too good to me! I like my job here, thank you very much! The pay's not great, but it's enough to pay to pay rent and keep me fed, so I'm happy enough.
Speaking of jobs, have you talked to Elizabeth lately? She just got a job working as a secretary at the law office. Gotta wonder how long THAT'S gonna last her. I mean, I love the girl, but she just is NOT secretary material! Does she even OWN any nice skirts? Well doesn't matter if she does, she'll have to buy some new ones with the way she's been blowing up.
Yeah, Mama FINALLY decided she was going stop paying for Elizabeth to stuff her face 24-7 at Macdonald's, so she didn't have any kind of choice but to find somewhere to work. Williamson & Crawford had an opening, so that's where she went. This is gonna be fun, seeing her try and adjust to suddenly having a job.
If you see her, ask her about it, alright? Should be pretty interesting to hear her thoughts on the matter.
Hmm? Oh, Tori's doing good, she said you talked to her a couple weeks ago? How'd that go? She bore you to death with all her gossip? Oh, I kid, but really, what did y'all talk about? Ah, that sounds like her, vain as always. Everyone's a blimp, except her that is!
She FINALLY broke down the other day and bought a new bikini, extremely revealing, as usual, so she's clearly still delusional, and you know, she SAYS it's a size bigger, but I tell you, she looks like she's about one pound from busting right out! She can say all she wants to the contrary, but she really cannot hide how fat she's gotten!
Not that she's trying too hard, she still thinks she's skinny, at least by comparison. Looks that way anyway, she's still acting like she's the hottest girl in town and don't tell her I said this, but she's been looking kind of slutty as of late. Not that she IS a slut, I'd never say that about her, but she's kinda dressing like one. . . I just hope she gets a hold of herself before she gets a bad reputation. . .
Uh oh, better get back to work, boss is staring at us! I'll talk to you later, alright? Alright!
05-22-2012, 08:44 PM
A Southern Story #13 - Elizabeth at the Pool
HEY, what you doing here? You do any swimming? Oh, what am I thinking, of course you do, why else would you be at the town pool? Myself, I've never been much of a swimmer, I mean I CAN, but really, why waste the time? No, I'm out here just to drive Tori even crazier than she normally is. Hold on, you got to let me explain, and this. is. GOOD.
Okay, so, Tori's used to having guys lined up all along the block for her, but lately, business has been slow for her in that area. Oh, there's still guys, for sure, but –and this is the good bit– guys have been banging down our door, asking ME out!
I guess it's true, guys like a girl with an ass, and I got more ass than three normal girls combined! Can you say "ego boost?" No, I am NOT bragging, it's a fact! OKAY, MAYBE I'm bragging just a bit, but give me a break, this is totally new to me!
Anyways, that's what I'm doing out here in this ridiculously tiny bikini, making Tori insanely jealous. There is absolutely no way I would wear this stupid thing otherwise; it's freaking uncomfortable as can be; how on EARTH can those girls who wear these deal with having a wedgie all day long? And my tits are just pouring out at the sides!
I will never understand why women do this to themselves! I mean, yeah, it's hot, but it's freaking UNCOMFORTABLE! As much as it sucks though, it's all worth it, just to see her reaction! She has been just FREAKING OUT!
What? Don't look at me like that, it's fun watching her squirm! Plus, you should see the ways she's dealing with it! She's dressing all slutty, THEN, when THAT doesn't work, she starts eating like a pig 'til she pops out her way-too-small clothes, it's hilarious! Oh, you just gotta see it, I can't hardly describe it. Tell you what, just drop by the house sometime, she'll probably be there and you'll see EXACTLY what I'm talking about.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm evil, but it's just so much fun! Plus, it's kind of payback for all those years she nagged me about my weight.
Chelsea said she already told you this but you might as well hear it from me; mama sat me down a week or two ago and told me she was done giving me an allowance, and that from now on I'd have to earn all my spending money; she didn't throw me out the house or anything, but horror of horrors, I have to keep a nine-to-five job, which is, of course, the pits, but I'm making the best of it.
I got a job at the law firm doing secretary-type stuff, setting up meetings, organizing files, that kind of thing. I'm pretty terrible at it, but, you know, I have a feeling they won't fire me as long as Mr. Crawford's son, Shep, still has a thing for my ass! He doesn't know I know because I haven't said anything, but I've noticed him staring out the corner of my eye, and it's like every time I bend over, I can FEEL him staring. On an entirely unrelated subject (or is it really - you decide), I seem to drop things a lot at work.
Hey, I like the attention, gimme a break, alright?
I'm still looking better than Tori, especially with the way she's been dressing. Does she really think that walking around town wearing skin-tight yoga pants and a V-neck tank top, making fun of fat girls like she's still skinny herself will somehow trick people into thinking she's really still skinny? ESPECIALLY when she's eating a cheeseburger at the SAME TIME?
If I wasn't enjoying it so much, I'd probably feel sorry for her. The best part is, she believes it herself! I don't know HOW she's managed to convince herself she's still in shape, but she's done it. Sort of, I mean, she knows she's gained weight and she'll tell you herself, but then she says she could "totally get it under control in no time!" And maybe it's true, if she put some effort into it that is, which she never will. Not really. But hey, whatever makes her feel better, right?
She TRIED jogging the other day, you know that? At least that's what she called it; she got all dressed up, short shorts and a sports bra, everything just hanging out there for everybody to see. Wearing a shirt over her bra would make her overheated, duh! Yeah, you can guess how THAT went.
She actually did better than I expected; she jogged all the way to the end of the driveway, started walking, made it about two, three more blocks, then turned around, walked back, collapsed on the couch and didn't move the rest of the day. Got to say, I was impressed!
CHELSEA'S actually been doing better than Tori with the dieting thing; she's been trying to be a good example for the cheerleaders –not that it's working– but she's actually been keeping to her diet and walking every day for the past week. Not walking, like, a long ways, but doesn't matter, I've never seen her do that; normally she's off her diet by Wednesday her first week. She says she's already lost a bit of weight, and I GUESS you can sorta see it, but it's not that much, really, and besides, I'm betting it'll all come back after Tori's party next Friday, she really can't control herself at birthday parties. Still, with the whole cheer sponsor thing, she's getting loads more exercise than the any of the rest of us.
I never got into cheerleading myself, too much work, and you don't really get anything out of it that I can see. Why dress up like a slut once a week and bounce around in front of a crowd? Seems pointless to me; I mean, I guess the girls who do it get something out of it, and congrats to them, but I just don't see it. I'll just stay in the bleachers, thank you very much! Eat myself a bowl of nachos, maybe a hamburger or two. Much easier. Much more comfortable.
Then again, It might be because I never had any school pride, I told you that much first time you met me. What's to be proud of, really? We're a slightly crappy school in the state with the crappiest educational system in America, is that really something to be proud of? We're not even good at sports, so we can't even brag about THAT!
Well, I guess we still have probably the fattest cheerleaders in the country! I'm only half joking; seriously, have you SEEN those girls!? I went to one of their first practices, and that was just hysterical! Them bouncing around, trying to do toe-touches, somersaults, and just landing on their fat asses! Well at least they got cushion, ha! I'd wish them luck in losing the weight, but (A) I seriously do NOT see than happening, and (B) watching their fat selves trying all that is going to be absolutely HILARIOUS, it might just make going to the games worth the effort!
Chels may be setting an example for them, but I see them around town, and you better believe they are NOT getting thinner! I saw Holly the other day, and that girl was just pouring out her bra on all sides! Hmmm? Who's Holly you ask? Holly Bates. Head cheerleader, you'd recognize her if you saw her, she's got reddish hair, couple of freckles. . . HUGE tits.
I thought Emily had told you about her? Well she's at the house with Tori a good bit; they're kind of friends, so I see her pretty often, and she's pretty much always shoving one fattening thing or another down her throat, same as Tori. And Laney was saying the other day she drops by Dunkin' Donuts every morning and buys herself a box with three apple fritters. I don't see the rest of the squad too much, but when I do, it's usually at some restaurant or another.
Huh? Oh yeah, that's where Laney's working now. No, the KFC turned her down, but something opened up at Dunkin' Donuts, so that's where she went. Now it's just a wait to see how long it takes her to pack on all the weight she lost when she was unemployed! Oh, don't even pretend, you know as well as I do it's gonna happen, it's just a question of when! She knows too, just ask her! She's just sort of accepted it.
Best thing to do in my opinion, I accepted it YEARS ago and look how happy I am! I know I'm a pig and I expect to get even huger; I'm up to 212 as of last Saturday, and expect to be past 225 by Thanksgiving, most likely by a lot.
I figure, why lie to yourself? Or other people, I mean, especially once you get to my size. What's the point of lying, you know I'm a fatass, you can SEE it, plain as day; my fat ass is on display for you right now, so why pretend my ass ISN'T fat? And I love food too much for it not to get fatter, so I just expect that too! Besides, if there's guys who like it –and believe me, there are plenty— why should I TRY and lose it? Work with what you got, and what I got is a massive ass.
And now, if you'll excuse me, my massive ass requires a bucket of Kentucky fried chicken, and who am I to argue? See you later!
05-25-2012, 12:35 AM
A Southern Story #14 - Laney's New Job-
Hey, what's up? Where've you been lately?
Obviously, not anywhere near Dunkin' Donuts, else I woulda seen you! You should drop by sometime, we'd love to see you!
No, I didn't get the job with KFC, still not sure why, but then I heard they had an opening at DD, so I snapped it up quick as possible. I haven't really been working there too long though, just a few days.
So how've you been? I've been pretty awesome, as you can see, that unemployment "diet" worked wonders for me! I was out of a job about three months, I lost twenty pounds! Almost all of it came straight out of my tits, sad to say, but still! Twenty pounds!
Of course, working where I am, I'll probably gain it back, plus ten more, in record time, but at the moment, I'm just happy to be under three hundred again, however long it lasts! Ah, stop trying to be nice, you know as well as I do the chances of me staying skinny when I'm surrounded all day with donuts are uhh. . . let me do the math here. . . NONE!
On the other hand, getting fat again will get my tits back where they were. Why is it when I lose weight it comes out the ONE place I'm totally okay with being big? I LIKED my tits! Scratch that, LIKE my tits, I don't really have the right to complain, now do I? They're pretty definitely still there, they definitely still qualify as big tits, but it's just. . . Not AS big, you know? Okay, to clarify: before I lost weight, I was a 40G bra. Now suddenly, I'm all the way down to a 38DD; I haven't been a 38DD since freaking ninth grade! It's just disconcerting is all. Of course, like I said a little while ago, with me working at Dunkin' Donuts, I'll probably back up to my old size in no time flat!
Not that it really matters, I really don't care much one way or another, it's like I'm always saying, you can't escape destiny, and mine and every woman in my family's is to end up a fat little piggy. Still, nice to have a reprieve from having to carry all that weight around, even if it IS only for a little while!
Chelsea's been trying pretty hard to do what I did, losing weight I mean, and, you know, it's WORKING, but not really. She's losing weight, but she then she gains it right back, her weight's just been yo-yo-ing like crazy. She keeps losing five pounds, then gaining back eight, losing three, gaining two, that kind of thing. Right now, she's on the best streak she's had so far, twelve pounds; she sent out a proud email to the whole family about it yesterday.
I wish her luck, but at the same time, I'm kind of doubting it'll go much further. If it does, good for her, she's worked for it, she's earned it, but. . . You know me; you know how I think; I just really don't think any of us can escape getting fat for too long. Doesn't help her case that even WITH losing weight, she's already most of the way there. Don't tell her I said that though, I really don't want to hurt her feelings, and besides, if any of my sisters are going to lose weight, my money would be on it being her.
She's got more of a reason to get skinny than any the rest of us, you know; she's really focused on setting a good example for the cheer squad, to help them lose weight –God knows they need it– but let me tell you, that's not working at ALL. No one's broke the news to her about this because it'd absolutely crush her, but her girl's are paying absolutely NO attention to the diets she put them on. She's trying to inspire them, but it's not working, and once she realizes that, I don't think there's a snowball's chance in hell of her sticking to her diet. Oh, she might keep it going for a little while longer, manage to keep her weight down for a couple of weeks, maybe even a few months, but without a reason for keeping skinny, there's just no chance of it lasting; she just has too big a sweet tooth to keep away from candy, we all do.
It's like a family curse, or something. Every freaking one of us, same thing, over and over again. We get fat. We go on a diet and shrink down a bit. We struggle for a little while to keep the weight off. We blow right up again, faster than ever. It's always the same. It's like an endless cycle of failed diets.
Actually, I take that back, I can't say it happens to ALL of us. But that doesn't count, 'cause the ONLY one of us that's never been through that whole "yo-yo diet" bs is Elizabeth, and you know without me saying, that that's ONLY because she's never even been on a diet!
I SAY my size doesn't matter to me, but I gotta admit, it does bother me at times. That girl though, she really, one hundred percent, does not care one way or another, how huge she gets. I have to say, there are times that I kinda wish I could be like that; it seems more relaxing, less stressful, you know?
Theeenn I try squeezing my fat self into my pants and *poof* I snap out of it.
Changing the subject, did you hear the gossip about Lauren Mink? You know the one I'm talking about, right, Tori said how she pointed her out to you at the Christmas festival, she was the dirty-blonde haired girl, fat ass, big boobs, and that WAY-too-short blue skirt. She was with her little sister, Carly? Yeah, that's the one! I don't know how she could wear that skirt, it was WAY too cold!
Oh hush, 60 degrees may be warm for you yankees, but down here, that's chilly. Besides, the temperature was only one of the MANY reasons she should not have worn that skirt, I mean you SAW how that thing fit her, it only barely covered her butt cheeks!
But this isn't about that, well, I guess it sort of is; I just heard she's PREGNANT! Oh you don't know I just cannot WAIT to tell Tori about this; they were real good friends back in high school, but they haven't really kept up.
This is just karma you know. Lauren was a major bitch at the time, you can't even imagine! This is just ONE example, but when she and Tori were friends, she used to hang out at our house ALL the time, and this was just about the time I was first getting fat, I mean REALLY gaining, right after my husband divorced me. It was a dark time for me, and that what does that skinny little bitch say to me to help me through it all?
"Oh, well I'm sorry about all that, but I just heard about this diet you might try, you really need to try it, you've gained like fifty pounds since the divorce and you'll need to lose weight if you're going to find another man."
WHY THANK YOU VERY MUCH THAT WAS JUST EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR! Scrawny little slut, I wanted bad to beat the everliving CRAP outta that woman. Still not really sure why I didn't, it would definitely have been justified!
Sorry, I know you probably don't care about all this, but I just could not keep something that juicy to myself for long! Ooh, it's going to be so much fun watching that bitch's belly blow up like a balloon!
I think everybody always kinda knew this would end up happening to her. That ridiculously short skirt she had on when you saw her? That was the rule, not the exception, that girl was SUCH a skank! It was always just a matter of time.
I always wondered what Tori saw in her, I guess she just made Tori look like a good girl by comparison. Not that Tori's NOT a good girl, but let's face it, she's not exactly a perfect little angel either. But I'm not about to badmouth my own little sister!
Let's see, what else's been happening around here. . .
Well, so Emily's been talking about leaving the vet clinic, where she is now and starting up a bakery here in town, over in that empty building by the courthouse. Have you tried anything she's made yet? nO? Oh my, you have GOT TO. Mama taught Emily how to cook, and she learned really well; I think she may even be a better cook than mama! I think that actually may be why the two of them are so big; you know what they say, "never trust a thin cook!" Well, they ain't thin, that's for sure!
Anyways, her boss at the vet's been a real pain in the ass lately, constantly on her case about little things that really don't matter, and she's just about sick of it. That crappy little cafe that used to be by the courthouse just closed down, so she's thinking about taking over it and setting up shop there. They already have ovens, stoves and all that, so it'd be just perfect for her to set herself up a little bakery.
Sure she'll have to compete with all the fast food places around here, but having eaten more than my fair share of fast food, I can compare the two, and without a doubt, she stands a fair chance, just so as long as people know her place exists. Awareness is going to be absolutely key here.
She could probably do some catering for small parties and such, that'd be just free publicity. Who knows what all could happen here? Okay, tell me truthfully, if she DID get this place up and running, you'd buy food there, wouldn't you? Sure you would, it's a more personal deal than otherwise! I gotta go, but if she does decide to go with this, we'll be sure and let you know personally, all right? Okay, bye!
05-25-2012, 12:38 AM
A Southern Story #15 -Tori's Reaction-
Hey, how you doing?
Me, not so great, but I don't really want to talk about it, so let's talk about something else! How about. . . Chelsea! Have you seen her lately?
I gotta say, she's looking pretty good, all things considered, this is probably the furthest she's actually lasted on a diet ever before, she said the other day she was all the way down to 198, which for her is more than thirty pounds, so she's FINALLY gotten back down under 200, which is a really big deal for her! Now if only the cheer team she's coaching would follow her example, things'd be great!
She tried putting the whole squad on a diet, but she left it up to them to monitor their own diet, which was just a recipe for disaster. I highly doubt even one them ever even considered trying to stick to a diet. because let me tell you, that squad has not lost one pound yet!
Now I can't speak for all of them, but I can fully guarantee you that some of them have actually gained weight. I'm pretty good friends with Holly, the head cheerleader, and we hang out sometimes. She's actually mature, where most of the rest of the girls are really immature and super annoying. She's actually 20 because the school kept holding her back, and I'm guessing that has a lot to do with it.
Anyways, we were talking the other day, well, actually we were tanning, and munching on some pizza because we both felt like we were starving, and then, like right after we open the third one, she goes "I really shouldn't be doing this."
I'm thinking she means tanning, so I'm like "What?"
And then she says "Last Friday, before the game, I could barely squeeze my tits into my uniform."
That's saying something because, and I don't know if she knew this, I don't think she did, but just so happen to know for a FACT that the school actually bought those uniforms a bit bigger than how the girls measured, just in case of this, just in case any of them gained weight, and hey, here she is, getting bigger, just like they were worried would happen. So I looked Holly over to see just how bad it was; I had a really good view, 'cause she was dressed in her bikini and sure enough, she was looking kinda chubby. Maybe a little fat even, I don't know, it was hard to tell, but she definitely had a muffin top going on.
And she's not the only one on the squad like that, I was talking to the second-in-command, Kaitlyn, and she was saying her ass would be hanging all the way out the bottom of her cheer skirt now if it weren't for her bloomers, and how even THOSE were getting tough to get on. From the look of her, I'd believe all that in a heartbeat.
She looked like a sausage the way she was packed into the clothes she had on, and if you've SEEN how she looks squashed into her cheer uniform, you'd know it was true too. She's not helping herself either, judging by the pint of ice cream and the box of Oreos she had sitting in her buggy. Pretty sure THOSE weren't on the diet Chels put them on!
The rest of the girls aren't any better, but I don't talk to any of them much, so I can't really say anything for sure. What I CAN say for sure is that they've invested a LOT of time and money at the KFC, and that they haven't even tried a pyramid for weeks, almost definitely because there is no WAY they could do that. They'd probably all get a hernia.
I got to wonder how much Holly weighs now, I bet she'd probably tell the truth if I asked her. But then she'd probably ask me back, and I haven't been by a scale in a LONG time, let me tell you! I don't know what I weigh, and I'd really prefer NOT to right now! Maybe after I lose a few pounds. Which will be SOON, just you watch!
Laney's doing good, she's loving her job at Dunkin' Donuts, and let me tell you, you can TELL! Woman's got to be eating like three dozen donuts a day the way she's been gaining! I'm almost willing to bet you a hundred bucks she's back up over three hundred by now! Well, maybe not THAT big, but she's definitely getting close! Let's just say her boobs are back up to their normal size!
Wish MY boobs would do like that, I mean, they aren't slacking, don't get me wrong, but a G-cup? MAN that's huge! I got DD's, which is, I mean, pretty big, but compared to THAT?
But hey, I still have it going on; guys like a nice round ass too, and as you can plainly see, I got PLENTY of that! Getting more, as of late, which is worrying, but I've got it under control, I think, it's not gonna get TOO much bigger, I don't think.
Besides, it's nowhere near as humongous as Elizabeth's, but I really can't imagine getting that fat. God, I don't think I could HANDLE being that big even.
I mean, she just sits around and eats like all day, and I don't know how she can force herself into her clothes! I have no clue what she weighs exactly, I probably don't WANT to know, but she's GOT to be like three hundred pounds the way she looks!
And the weirdest part of it all is, she's been getting way more guys after her than I am. I really just do not get it. Look at me, okay? Would you say I'm hot? Be one hundred percent honest, don't worry about my hurting my feelings, am I hot?
Okay, so then explain to me, why are all these guys ignoring me and chasing my SISTER'S fat ass? I mean I get it, some guys like a big butt, but when it's attached to my sister, who's the size of a freaking MANATEE, you'd think they'd back away!
It just doesn't make sense! Here I am, a skinny, hot chick, and they pass me over for my disgustingly fat, whale of a little sister? Okay, maybe not "skinny" anymore but relatively thin! Okay, a slightly chubby hot chick, but even THAT'S exaggerating my size!
I mean, what is it? I've tried dressing sexy, and believe me, it gets results, but still she gets more attention; it just doesn't make sense! Every night, she's got a date, and I'm sitting alone at home with Ben & Jerry's, which, let's be honest, isn't helping my case in the slightest, but it makes me feel better! And you know she's probably stuffing her fat ass at some all-you-can-eat buffet. I just don't get it!
But don't get me started on that, what else is new. . . Do you by any chance, remember Jessica Busby? She was one of the girls I introduced you to at Christmas, I think. No? I didn't introduce you? Well I meant to. Still, you must have seen her. Seriously, there was no WAY you could miss her, considering how much SPACE she took up.
She was the disgustingly fat, really tan one with the really long hair and big, big, BIG butt. The one squashed into those ridiculously tight stretchy jeans and super tight, super low-cut tank top. Yeah, that girl! Well, she just got engaged! It's even MORE surprising if you actually could see her now, you'd never BELIEVE the ridiculous amount of weight she's gained since Christmas and you remember she was then, probably like two hundred, two hundred fifty pounds. And now she's even BIGGER! Gotta be something like three hundred fifty at LEAST!
Tell me, how does a beached whale of a woman like THAT land a man and a girl as hot as I am stay single? Do they even MAKE wedding dresses that big or are they going to have to sew her one out of a circus tent?
Okay, I'm getting upset. This is what I specifically did not want to talk about at the start, let's change subjects, okay? What do you think about Emily starting up a bakery out here? Good idea, no? I think so, and she's getting ready, she's trying to get everything set up there before she quits at the vet, but she's nearly done. She's been practicing all her recipes lately, so I think she's probably put on a pound or two, but it's not noticeable on her, it just kind of blends in.
Not so much on me, but you know I can't resist when she shares with me, which believe me, isn't helping me at ALL. I've been trying to get exercise more, though, balance out a little bit. I've actually gone jogging twice this week, which is, I know, nowhere near what I need to be doing, but better than nothing. Like I said, my ass has gotten a LITTLE bigger, but I'm really close to getting under control.
I'm sorry, but I gotta go, it was nice talking to you; see you soon!
11-18-2012, 06:48 PM
Southern Story#16: Chelsea's Rant
Hey, how've you been? Good, I hope?
Awesome. I'm doing decent, I guess. . . Things with the cheer squad have been pretty crazy lately, so that's been taking up a lot of my time. Oh, they're a good bunch of girls, they're smart enough, nice enough, but. . .
They can be. . .
frustrating. . .
Okay, no, no no no, I'm sorry, but no, I just can not do it anymore, I am THROUGH trying to pretend and act all nice about these STUPID, STUPID girls! They are CRAZY!
Oh, you don't even KNOW, okay? So I do all this stuff, try and set a good example for them; I've lost FIFTY pounds to try and set an example, FIFTY! And what's their response? They just ignore me and do their own thing!
It was the first week, when I was first having all those problems with them because they couldn't do even the most basic stunts, I put them all on a diet so they'd lose weight and get in good enough shape to do this stuff. I was on one, too, so they wouldn't feel alone or anything, but NONE of them stuck to it. Of the seven of them, three have gotten too fat for their uniforms, WHICH, if you remember, were a size LARGER than they actually needed!
I lost fifty pounds, they found them! And of COURSE, they couldn't admit they needed larger uniforms either; noo, that'd be the DECENT thing to do; they just lied about it and kept them closed with safety pins! I didn't even know there were any problems until Holly's boobs came bouncing out in the middle of a game! Then, a week later, the other two ripped theirs sitting along the sides during halftime!
How did they manage this, you ask? They were eating nachos! Yeah, that's right, Kaitlyn and her friend Katie ate FOUR bowls of nachos apiece and 'cause of that, their stomachs was swoll up so much that when they stood up, their uniforms just freaking ripped apart! And the other girls aren't any better, they're MAYBE two pounds from busting apart at the seams! There is ONE GIRL, JUST ONE who is NOT super close to busting out and do you KNOW WHY THAT IS? IT'S BECAUSE ALL OF HER FAT STICKS TO HER FAT ASS; SERIOUSLY THAT IS THE ONLY REASON!
Ugh, I'm so sorry I lost my temper just now, it's just that. . . UGH! This whole thing's just so IRRITATING!
I really shouldn't be taking this out on you, I'm sorry. Thanks for listening though, you don't even know how much I needed that right now; I've just been keeping it all balled up inside me, and thanks for being so understanding, most guys would've run off!
All this stress isn't doing me ANY good; you know I've already gained back nine of the fifty pounds I had lost? I'm back into the one-eighties, and it's all these stupid cheerleaders faults!
No, yeah, you're right, I need to relax a bit; it's not MY fault they're stupid, I just need to breathe a minute, focus on something else. Like Laney, it's been too long since last time I talked to her; how's she doing? What? Oh, I no, I can't go visit her when she's at work, I couldn't resist the urge to get a donut, and then I'll be back where I started in no time.
Well, maybe I should stop in sometime; once can't hurt, and maybe I could get like a bagel or something like that, something not ridiculously fattening. How's she doing? Last I saw,she was looking GOOD!
She hasn't gained back all the weight, has she? Ah, well that sucks, wait, Tori said what now? Oh, well I don't know if you've noticed, but Tori is just the WORST at guessing weights. Tori's notorious for thinking people are fifty pounds heavier than they are. Knowing it was HER speaking, my guess is Laney's gained back some of the weight, but probably not ALL of it. I'll have to go see her sometime soon, get the real story.
So what else did she say? Did she tell you about Jessica's wedding? Well the reception's a public event, so just know that you're welcome to come if you wanted, heck, any one of us'd be happy to escort you as a friend if you're worried you'd feel awkward or something, but you're welcome no matter what, the more the merrier! It's not for a while, but we'd all love to see you there!
I don't know why Tori was acting so mean about Jess, jealousy, I guess? Anyway, Jess is an absolutely wonderful and beautiful woman, I mean, yeah, Tori wasn't lying, she really IS big, but she's not three hundred fifty pounds! She told me herself right after she got measured for a dress, she's two hundred seventy! See, that's what I was saying; that's how far off Tori's estimates of weight are!
Hmm? Oh, yeah, Elizabeth's doing great, she really is having the time of her life! It's like she said, she's got dates every night of the week, and she is just LOVING it. At least once a week, a boy takes her to the all-you-can-eat buffet and she nearly closes the place.
She's still working at the law office, but from what I've seen whenever I go in there, I'm fairly sure she's just there as eye candy. Like I told you, she's really NOT secretary material, but Shep Crawford's been eying her for months now. But she gets a paycheck, so I suppose she does SOMETHING or other.
Emily's just about totally moved into what's going to be her new bakery, she's announced she'll be quitting the vet next Friday and they'll probably be opening the week after that! You'll have to try something, I PROMISE you won't regret it. She's been practicing for when she opens, so she's been cooking a cake for every meal. Which, as you can clearly see, is NOT good for my diet!
Elizabeth takes most of it, but I make it a point to elbow her out the way so I can get a piece or two. No matter how full I am, I just can't resist, her cooking is THAT good.
Really, once this bakery is a real thing, you just HAVE to stop by! You'll probably get addicted and end up a fat blob like the rest of us! Ha, no, I kid, but believe me, it IS that good. Oh god, I hope for the sake of my already oversized figure that she won't give us a family discount! But you know, of course she will. I'll probably be five hundred pounds by Christmas! God, could you just IMAGINE?
Actually, you've seen mama, probably not too difficult after that, but still. The rest of my sisters are on their way to that, but I'm pretty determined not to go that road. I've lost fifty pounds once, I can do it again, it's just a matter of will-power, which I have.
You know what? What you were saying earlier? You're right, It'll be okay, me going to go see Laney now. I've been putting it off for too long, and I could always get myself a bagel or something too, I'm a little hungry. Actually, you know what, I've stuck to the diet all the last few days, I can afford a donut I think, just one. Just this once.
This was good thanks, okay, see you later!
07-12-2013, 07:19 AM
A Southern Story #17: Shopping With Tori
Oh! Hey! Uh. . . Didn’t really expect anyone to be here, what’s up?
Ha, shoulda known, I’m here for the same thing. Least I know I’m not the ONLY procrastinator in this town, putting off shopping for the Jess’ reception ‘til the last minute!
Oh shut up, you got nothing to worry about, you’re a guy! No one’s going to be off in the corner going all ‘she looks like freaking TERRIBLE!’ You guys got it EASY. We LADIES get stamped with the slut label over freaking nothing!
That’s actually why I’m here. I had asked Elizabeth to pick one up in my size, only yeeeaaah, bad idea. You know Elizabeth’s sense of humor. She came back with this massively slutty thing, I’m talking like Marilyn Monroe low cut, two sizes small, not even long enough to cover my ass, and then, when I called her out on it she was all ‘Don’t look at me, all those extra donuts must be catching up to you!”
Can you even believe that girl? I mean yeah, I’m not skinny anymore, but like she can even talk, at least I'm TRYING not to be a blimp, I mean, have you SEEN her lately? Chick’s getting HUGE! Like, have you SEEN her lately? Oh, trust me. You’d remember. She’s the 220lb. pig, waddling around town with her massive ass gobbling up her booty shorts, her gigantic gut hanging down out her shirt!
Okay, you mind if I go on a quick rant right here? Okay, so it’s like, all of a sudden, that’s TOTALLY okay for a girl her size! It’s like everybody in town’s just gone and decided that being fat as a cow’s not that bad. You know what I’m talking about, right? Okay, how the hell have you not noticed? You blind? Seriously, like, do you have eye problems???
Examples? Ummm. . .
Okay, I told you about plenty about Lily already, uh. . . OOH, okay, so you know Treppendahl’s, the grocery store? Okay, so you’ve seen that one cashier, the short one, reddish hair, and the uh, ginormous jugs? HA, course that would be what you remember. Yeah, that’s my cousin Cheryl. Okay, so, do you remember how she looked when you got here? That’s alright; I got a picture here in my purse from a family reunion, about three years ago. Okay, so she’s like 19 here, and you notice anything different? Liiiike, maybe, FORTY POUNDS? We didn’t take pictures at the last one we had, like four months ago, but you couldn’t hardly tell it was the same girl she’s porked up so bad!
And the worst bit is she was like, one of the skinniest AT the reunion! I swear, at this point I am literally the only girl in town who gives a crap that they’re getting fat! Only, it’s like I can’t do anything to STOP it, I keep on trying to stick to diets, but stuff keeps getting in the way and people keep giving me food and crap, like they’re trying to keep me from losing weight!
Okay, example, I WAS gonna go on one, starting today, but then it turned out Emily was doing the refreshments, and I mean, I’m not about to insult my own FAMILY, even IF they’re making me fat as the pigs l. WHICH, I want to say, they ARE. I love them and all, but I’d just be lying if I said they weren’t some seriously fat chicks.
So now diet’s starting the day after the wedding, assuming there’s no leftovers, which there won’t be, considering how morbidly obese every woman in town is getting.
So I’ve got ONE day of letting myself act like a hog, then I’m going cold turkey, no more junk food. But that means I gotta be prepared for tomorrow, know what I mean? I can’t go getting like, a dress that’s gonna pop off after a Diet Coke and a piece of pie, I gotta get something with a little ROOM, know what I mean?
Oh wow, I can’t believe I’m saying this, this is like, so bad. It’s all just like, promotion for Emily’s bakery, you know, I’m just eating it all so people see how much I’m enjoying it so they want to go there too. But at the same time, like, I’m still eating like a cow.
OH yeah, I am like, freaking OUT right now; I don’t even know what I’m gonna buy, like, how do I know if I look, like, slutty or something? I need like. . .
HEY! You’re a guy, think you could do me a favor and help me out? Come on, please please please? OH MY, thank you, like, SO much! Okay, we gotta go by the food court first, I figure if I got a full stomach when I try on the dress it’ll fit better when I’m eating tomorrow. There we go!
Thank you SO much for doing this, it means a lot, really. Okay, what do they got here. . . Wendy’s, that’ll work, I’ll just get like, what’s the biggest thing they have here. . . Hot ‘N Juicy burger sounds good, I’m gonna take that, you want anything? Okay, yes, I’ll have that, and can you get me a medium Frosty to go with it? Yes, that’ll be all, thanks!
Ugh, I cannot believe I’m gonna eat this, like, can you even IMAGINE how many calories are in this? This is like, SO bad. I just gotta keep telling myself it’s all for Emily. . .
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
PHEW, Okay that was AMAZING, next time I have a cheat day, I’m gonna have to remember this! Okay, so now, dress time! OOF! Okaaay. . . Whew, you’re gonna have to give me a minute, I can’t stand up just yet. WAY more food than I needed. I’ve been slowly building up to this like, all day, just snacking constantly. I actually ate on the drive over here too, at Pizza Hut. Have you tried that, I think it’s called like, the PANormous personal pizza? Stupid name, but that meat lover’s hit the SPOT! But oof, I think I overdid it just now, give me a few minutes.
Crap, don’t you HATE it when this happens? Like, you’re just eating, enjoying a good meal, then you finish up and you realize just how much you ate, and you can’t move right, and all you can do is lean back and hate yourself for a few seconds? Ugh, see, THIS is the problem; I am WAY too familiar with this feeling! I can blame my sisters all I want, but ultimately, you know it’s MY fault I’m here, ‘cause that dress Elizabeth got me, that would have freaking FALLEN OFF of me when we first met, but now it’s like, I’m packed in so tight I can’t breathe and I got fat hanging out all over.
But, I’m being for real; this is the last time I eat like this, after tomorrow. It’s gonna be that, then no more. I’m going on a diet as soon as I wake up after the party, and that’s gonna be IT. No more stopping for donuts every morning, none of that, I’m going COLD TURKEY on the junk food. Soon as I get stopped doing THIS to myself every other day, eatin’ ‘til I’m too fat to move, I’ll start losing again, get back to where I was, no time flat.
Oof, yeah, I can move again, just, like, walk really slow, alright?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
So these are the options! I’m leaning towards THIS one because, I mean, it shows off my hot ass, and the color’s good and all, but I’m worried about my boobs. Does my cleavage make it look like I’m a whore? No? Okay good, ‘cause I know they’re pretty much out there on their own. Totally not my fault; it’s getting hard to keep ‘em hidden if you know what I mean!
At least I’m trying though, you should see some of the dresses my friends are going with, like, no joke, compared to them, It’s gonna be like I’m wearing a parka. Elizabeth’s is pretty awful too, you should see it. Oh no, really, just you wait, if I tell you, it’s gonna spoil it!
Oh my word, I cannot even stand to look in that mirror, I am such a PIG! Like, I cannot hardly believe that’s actually ME, standing there, looking like I’m six months preggers! Ugh, I seriously need to get control of myself!
Aww, you’re sweet. Lying out your ass, but sweet. It’s okay, it’s not TOO bad, I don’t think, and just imagine how this is gonna fit once I drop all this weight! Yeah, this is it; I’m definitely going with it, thanks for your help! I’ll let you get on with your shopping now, I’ve kept you long enough; see you tomorrow!
07-12-2013, 10:01 PM
A Southern Story #18: Tori's Drunken Rant
Hey, good looking! Thanks again for your help last night, you’re a life-saver, for real.
So you seen everything yet? Awesome,let me show you around, starting. . . by the snack table! Haaa, told you how I was going whole hog, like, literally, an’ I MEANT it! Ha, like you couldn’t even tell, my tummy’s poppin’ out like a big ole beach ball under my dress! Here, have you a whisky, it’s good, trust me! I’m not gonna say EXACTLY, but I may have had. . . a few. Haaa, not tellin’ HOW many, though, you gotta guess that for your OWN self! And you gotta try that barbecue over there, it’s like heaven stuffed inside a pig!
NO, NO, you keep right here right now, go over there LATER! ‘CAUSE I WANNA GO WITH YA! . . .And, like, Holly’s over there. . . naw, it’s stupid. . . it’s just like, we were friends and I was like, trying to give her some advice and. . .
Okay, for real, look at her. That girl is WAY too big, up top and uh, everywhere else! To be struttin’ around here wearin’ that Marilyn Monroe outfit, it’s just an accident WAITIN’ TO HAPPEN. So I told her that and she was all ‘ugh, are you calling me FAT?” and I was like ‘uh, not tryin’ ta be mean or nothin’, but yeah, definitely! Like, as a friend, you’re waaay too fat for THAT!”
So of course she went all “Uh, well, Marilyn Monroe was plus sized, you know” and I told her flat out,I was like, “ Uh, girl, if Marilyn Monroe was plus-sized, then you’re definitely, like, plus, plus, PLUS sized!”
So now she’s all pissed off, and I am too, I mean, I was just trying to be a good friend n' HELP her, and she gets all mad at me? Uh, not cool! NOT TO MENTION I WAS TOTALLY RIGHT! She keeps going out there and dancing, and every time she either has to stop after like, five seconds and tuck her tits back in or they completely fall out, n' she’s not exactly sober neither, so you can figure which one it is!
At least she’s not over here; we got that chocolate fountain, yeeaaahh! I got something n’ for real, you gotta try this! Emily made this strawberry shortcake, you just go and dip it in the fountain, and it’s like, the greatest thing EVER, like for real, here, I’ll show you how it works! Gimme that cake!
AW NO! This one’s all MINE. You make your OWN! OH MY, this is amazing! You don't even KNOW, I love chocolate fountains! Whoever invented them, I want to kiss them on the mouth! It’s like, you just take something already delicious, then you make it ten times as good! Like, anything on this table, try it, just like, grab something AT RANDOM and dip it in, it’ll be worth it, I PROMISE you. No for real, anything, it’s ALL good, trust me, I’ve tried it all at LEAST once! Here, let me do it. . .
Umm. . . oh, YES, jelly donut! Oh yeah, this was one of the best ones. . . Oof, getting’ kinda crowded down there in my tummy! Gotta get all this out overeatin’ stuff my system before tomorrow, right? Oh yeah, like I told you last night, that’s definitely, like, without a doubt, happening, the last time I eat too much, like, ever, ya know?
But the rest of what I said, like, you know how I told you how I needed to dress sorta kinda not-slutty? Yeah, I’m definitely the only one here who even REMEMBERED that! Look around, like, I swear, these girls are totally shameless!
Holly’s like, totally normal around here ‘n she’s got her popping out o’ her top prolly every thirty seconds! Okay, yeah, you’re right she’s PROLLY worse than most of them, but still, like, not even by that much! Okay, lil’ stuff, like, uh, look around, every single woman’s got an obvious panty line! Well okay, there’s a couple of ‘em don’t, like Lily, but I already know in HER case it’s cause she’s not wearing panties!
Most of ‘em are totally about to rip out those dresses any minute now, and OOH, you missed it, a couple of ‘em already DID! Oh god, it was hilarious! You remember I told you last night about my cousin Cheryl? ‘Member how I said she had these gigantic tits? Well, found out tonight she’s been getting’ an ass on her, too! She was here for like, ten minutes, went out on the floor, started grindin’ up on some guy, she bent over, and all of a sudden her fat ass tore through! Hah, guess she got some of my side of the family’s ass along with wherever them boobies came from!
‘N SHE’S NOT ALONE! I swear this town’s gone totally stupid about how fat they are, like, I bet you at least 98% of the girls here are obese, at LEAST that, and the ones that aren’t, they’re from out of town! AN’ THEY DON’T EVEN CARE! Hell, s'almost like they’re out there TRYIN’ to turn into hogs!
Like, have you SEEN the bride? ‘Member how, way back when, I told you she was like, way humongous? Well, if you see her, she’s even BIGGER! I know, hard to believe, but just wait 'til ya see— HEY, there, she’s over there at that table, stuffing her face, even got people BRINGING HER FOOD. I swear, she’s not even gonna make it to eating the cake before she rips that wedding dress WIDE freaking open! I swear I’m the only person here who thought to leave some slack for how much I was gonna eat!
Aand there it is, Holly’s tits are hangin' out AGAIN! You think by now she’d figure it out n' stop going out on the dance fl. . . WAIT a second, Holly’s not at that table anymore!Hurry up, let’s get some of that barbecue! *oof* Okay then, edit, let’s walk SLOWLY to the barbecue. Little help here?
Oh yes, I feel it when I’m trying to walk! I swear, this should be like, an Olympic sport, drinking a little then stuffing yourself and trying to walk like, a certain distance, ‘cause this is seriously like, phew!
Okay, whew, we made it! Listen at me, breathin’ like I just run a marathon, THIS IS WHY I’M DONE AFTER TONIGHT! UGH, I’m out of shape!
Phew! Well, what you waitin’ on, grab yourself a plate and get you some of this! And, uh, grab me one too, would ya? I know, I really shouldn’t, but like, this is my last chance to eat good food! There’s a chair over here, would you be awesome and bring that over here, too so I can sit and still be able to reach the food? Aww, you’re awesome!
*OOF* Whew, now I’m here, don’t think I’m gonna be movin’ much at ALL the rest of the night! Heh, not sure I could, even if I WANTED to, so full right now! But it’s my last night, so I gotta get me all the barbeque I can cram into me, even if it hurts!
Aww heck, the whisky’s on the other end o’ the table, could I get ONE more TEENSY WEENSY favor out o’ you? Could you bring the bottle over closer? No, I want the whole bottle, and a glass, I’m done, I’m sittin’ here the rest of the night, might as well get fucked up at the same time!
‘Right now, I taken up all your time here, 'n now I'm stuck here, but your not, so get your butt out there and PARTY!!! I'll see ya later, so friggin' GO already!
07-15-2013, 01:44 PM
A Southern Story #19: Elizabeth at the Reception
Hey! Glad you showed up! Didn’t see you at the wedding, and I know you don’t really know Jess, so I wasn’t really sure you’d show.
Saw you over there talking to Tori, and I feel for you. She’s. . . not entirely sober, you might have noticed. She talked your ear off, didn’t she. Ha, yeah, that’s how she is when she gets like that.
Let’s head over by the food so I can have some more snacks. Girl’s gotta keep her figure, am I right? The table’s right over. . . okay no, that one has six girls already clearing it off, so we’ll have to go over. . . dangit, that one’s surrounded too, so. . . There we are, that one’s open! And by open, I mean there’s only two girls working on it.
Better hurry, though, that’s Jenna and Carrie over there. Shouldn’t bother us too much, but you can tell, just by how they look, they’re big eaters. Funny thing is, Carrie used to be like Tori is. Back in high school, she was ragging on me CONSTANTLY, making fun of me or being big. And look where she is NOW, got an ass bigger than one of those big old exercise balls. Not that I’ve seen one of those since like, senior year of high school, since, I think you’ve noticed, I’m not EXACTLY a fitness nut! Even dancing’s too much work, that’s why I’m over here, sticking to snacking!
Yeah, that’s one of the most awesome things about this party, there’s, like, twenty different refreshment tables, piled up to the sky with freaking amazing food. That’s what happens when the bride’s creeping up on three hundred pounds! And Em’s totally outdone herself with what she brought! Like, here, try this! Good, isn’t it? Yeah, you SAVOR that, because you’re not getting anymore. This platter, all mine. You want one, walk over there and try to take one from some OTHER table! That is, if you can get past all the girls swarming around it
! Hey, Tori said something like you helped her pick a dress?
Heh, high five; that was a nice choice for her. Not as hilarious as the one I picked out, definitely a little more roomy than it could have been, but still, not bad, not bad! She’s probably spent the whole time going on about how she’s ‘totally starting a diet tomorrow’ isn’t she?
Ha, figured as much! And you know, I bet you fifty bucks she’s actually going to do it. . . until about lunch, anyway! Anyway, she kept totally raving about how you were such a big help last night, but then I saw the dress. It’s like, does she seriously not notice how her back fat is pouring over the top? I mean, I got that, too, but I’m doing it on purpose!
Oh and I found out, I’m not the only one around here doing that! I actually heard Callie at the drug store – Huh? oh, she’s the one over there by the DJ booth with that big old plate loaded down with food— she was saying something about how her boyfriend told her he liked her fat so she was stuffing herself like crazy! Heh, looks like it’s working, too!
I can tell you from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, that is the ass of someone with a more than healthy appetite! I’m thinking she’s put on at least. . . eight pounds since I heard her say that? Straight to the ass, obviously, that thing’s not going to be fitting in movie theater seats for much longer, I can tell you THAT from experience, too, I haven’t been able to sit comfortably there for about twenty pounds now! But I figured out how to get around that, just bring one of those foldout chairs with you into the theater and set it out in the stairway, and you’re set.
She’s not the only one either, there’s some others, I swear, they no WAY they’re not trying! Like Kalynn over there, by the chocolate fountain, about to pop out the top of her green dress. Laney told me she’s by the Dunkin Donuts twice every day for the past two weeks, both times ordering 18 chocolate covered, and I KNOW I see her in Macdonald’s at least every other day. She was in front of me just yesterday, ordered two meals, super-size and a shake. And I’m not even going INTO how fast she’s been gaining!
Faster than me, that’s for sure. I think I’ve hit some kind of plateau, been at 219 for a few weeks now. And trust me, it’s NOT because I been slacking off on eating, it’s just my body’s gotten used to how much I eat, so now it’s just keeping me at this weight. Which sucks because now I’m gonna have to specifically try and eat more, which is kinda difficult considering how freaking much I’m eating as it is!
It’s natural, I guess, happens to a girl, but I gotta get past it! Laney’s actually plateaued recently, too, but she’s way bigger than I am, like a little over a hundred pounds bigger. Oh yeah, she’s gained about thirty pounds since she’s got a job at Dunkin’ Donuts! It turns out, shocking though it may be, fatty’s got a weakness for donuts, especially if they’re cream filled! She’s not around right now, but I’m telling you, she’s almost as big as Emily now! But she’s stopped gaining, for the most part at least.
Chelsea’s picked up the slack, though, let me TELL ya! She told you how she lost fifty pounds to be a good example for the cheerleaders, right? Well, soon as she realized the cheerleaders were telling her they were sticking to their diets, then pigging out at MacDonald’s, she said screw it and went back to eating how she wanted, and let me tell you, it’s only been like, what, two months, and she’s gone from about 150 back up to 172, and look at her over there by the chocolate fountain! She might actually have gained a bit, just in the last week since she told me she was at 172!
They should be cutting the cake pretty soon. Good, I’ve actually been holding off on the refreshments, not completely, of course, just not gorging myself on them like I normally do. I figure if I hold of a bit, I can eat that much more wedding cake and ice cream. Everyone else is eating like crazy, so I figure there’s gonna be WAY more cake than they can handle. I mean, just take a look around you, most of them are hanging around refreshment tables, their bellies so full they look preggers! They GOTTA be reaching full capacity. More cake for me! And that’s a LOT.
Especially since. . . Oh it’s awesome; so Emily told me, Jess gave into her morbid obesity cravings and ordered THREE separate wedding cakes, the smallest of which is a full double-decker. And with the way everyone’s plowing through these refreshments, I’m thinking there’s going to be hardly any leftover refreshments and a LOT of wedding cake. And since there’s that much cake and they’re pretty decent friends, Emily’s set out a deal, she gets to take home half of what’s left, and all of the other refreshments. Ha, I’m thinking good luck to Tori and her diet when there’s half a cake and a buffet of desserts laying around the kitchen tomorrow morning!
Not that she’ll GET all of it. Nah, she probably won’t even get MUCH of it since I’m trying to get past this slump I’m in, after all. Gotta keep my hot booty nice and huge, try and get past this plateau I’m at! And let me tell you, that’s gonna take a LOT of eating!
So for real, I’m not really eating much until I can get to that cake. I mean, not much by MY standards. I’m eating, obviously, but only like, one of everything, which is NOTHING compared to literally any other chick here.
Ooh! They’re wheeling out the first cake! Sorry to ditch you like this, but I GOTTA be at the front of the line, so talk to you later?
07-16-2013, 10:07 AM
A Southern Story #20: Emily's New Job
Oh, hey! I was wondering if you’d be stopping by here any time soon!
Oh, not that I was expecting you to drop by like it was some kinda responsibility you had or anything, it’s just I know you were at the reception and that’s where most of my business has been coming from! I’m sorry I couldn’t come and say hi, but I was busy in the kitchen trying to make enough refreshments to keep the tables full. And that was some work, let me tell you!
But it was WORTH it, everybody’s been saying all these super nice things, and you wouldn’t BELIEVE how much business I’ve gotten from people who said they were coming because of the food they had there! It’s been what now, three months since the reception, I STILL have people coming in and saying that! I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time for much else! I’d hire a helper, but I kinda feel like doing it all on my own, it’s a more personal kind of thing, like every cookie is like a small gift from me personally, know what I mean?
Ah, course you don’t, it’s stupid, I know. It’s okay, though, because I just love baking, so I’m not really working, I’m just doing what I love. What is it they say, ‘If you find a job you love, you’ll never work a day in your life?’ aah, something like that.
Only real problem I’ve been having is that I don’t really have time to cook home meals, so I’ve been living off fast food and a LOT of the stuff I’m baking. Heh, pretty obvious, isn’t it? Oh, don’t even act like you can’t see it, even on a woman my size, you can’t miss the 40 pounds I’ve put on since I’ve opened this place up!
It’s not like it’s a big DEAL or anything, I mean, it makes it harder to do a lot of stuff, but hey, what can ya do? Aww, pfft, exercise WHERE? Not like there’s a gym around here or anything! Besides. I don’t think they even MAKE exercise clothes my size! Preetty sure they DON’T. Not that, you know, I’ve checked lately, but considering I can hardly find normal clothes my size, I think it’s probably a pretty good assumption!
Hmmph, it’s not like a gym would last long around here, even if one tried to start up! Tori’d sign up for a membership, then probably never go back, so that’s maybe ONE whole person in this entire town that’d pay to be a member. The rest of the women around here, I think have resigned to the fact, like I have, that they’re gonna get fat and nothing they can do is going to stop it. Heck some of them, they’re flat out TRYING to get fat!
Elizabeth’s definitely one of that bunch. She’s eating pretty much constantly and keeps complaining how she’s leveled out recently and how she’s trying to get past the plateau, but honestly, I’m not seeing much difference. She’s been at more or less the same weight since before the reception. Maybe five pounds heavier, but definitely no more than that.
But she’s not the only one doing it anymore. There’s a couple others around her. I’m not going to go into details, but there’s this one girl, Shelley Gates, comes in here every day and buys a dozen cookies. I mentioned this to Laney and apparently she does the same thing with buying 18 donuts on a daily basis. I asked her about it one day and she told me how she’d realized all her weight went straight to her boobs, and how it was like an all-natural breast enlargement, so she was trying to gain a little weight.
Let me tell you, she’s gained a LOT more than a ‘little weight,’ girl’s gained at least thirty pounds in the past few months and the way she’s headed, she’ll be getting a LOT bigger before much longer! And don’t tell anyone I said this, but she’s wrong about it ALL going to her boobs. I mean, maybe it was, right at first, but she’s got a good sized gut growing on her now.
Uh, what else. . . Oh, Laney’s doing fine right now, she actually got promoted to manager at the Dunkin’ Donuts, which is nice. She’s been adjusting to suddenly having a desk job, sitting around all day. She’s got kinda mixed feelings about it, though, she keeps saying she gets jittery sitting down all day, and complaining how she’s gained 25 pounds just since the promotion. I don’t know what she’s complaining about, I’d love to weigh only 326 pounds! This gut is a little more than I want to be carrying around with me everywhere I go! But, you know, I don’t think it’ll be going away anytime soon. Big as it is, I think it’s gonna be with me the rest of my life, no matter what I do to try and get rid of it.
Um, and Chelsea’s alright, I guess. She’s still in a bit of a funk from all that junk with the cheerleaders. She’s gained back all that weight she’d lost and then some, told me last week she was up to 236, eight pounds heavier than ever before, and just between you and me, she LOOKS it, especially when she’s walking around the house in her underwear. We got the Christmas festival coming up before too much longer, and at this rate she’ll be waddling around at 250 by then! It’s not helping that she comes in here every couple days and buys stuff, I mean, none of this stuff is exactly ‘low-calorie!’ She keeps saying she’s basically given up on being skinny, but she’s still searching online for workout clothes her size, so I’m not sure she’s really telling the truth about that.
Tori’s STILL not giving up hope she’ll get skinny sometime soon. I don’t know what it’s going to take for her to get the message that big as she is, even if she manages it, she’s not going to get rid of it fast. She keeps going on these crash diet she says are proven to work really fast, but she usually only lasts about two days on it, then completely trashes whatever progress she might have made. Not that she MAKES any progress, she’s getting fatter than ever, but I guess it’s good she keeps trying?
But she’s gotta get it through her head, if she’s gonna lose any weight, she’s GOT to be in it for the long haul. She told me just the other day, at Sunday dinner, she was weighing at 197. She’ll be weighing over 200 pretty soon, I think, much as she tries to deny it. Not that she’ll admit it when it happens, though, I know her well enough, she’ll try to lie and cover it, act like it hasn’t happened. Go on another diet, MAYBE lose a little weight on that one since she’s got that number hanging over her head, but trust me, it won’t last long and she’ll be back to stuffing her face and acting like she’s still skinny. Not that she’d stop just because she’s over 200, I think it’s just like a habit now, she probably can’t even stop herself from doing it anymore.
She’s had two boyfriends in the past few months, and let me tell you, they did NOT help her lose weight, that’s for sure. I mean, it’s not like they’re were being straight up and encouraging her to get even fatter, but they definitely ruined her diets pretty regularly. They always fed her a LOT whenever they went out on dates, like, way too much. Like, I told you how most of her diets would last about two days? That’s because Wednesday was always ‘date night,’ and she’d go out all proud of how she was sticking to her diet, then come back looking pregnant, whining about how she’d totally ruined her diet and how now she’d have to start a new one next Monday.
I’m gonna be honest, it’s almost getting annoying, with her gaining weight constantly and STILL making comments about how I’ve put on weight, I’d tell her off, but I don’t want to make her feel bad. Elizabeth actually LIKES it whenever Tori makes a comment about her, gets all proud about it. Me and Laney just ignore it; it’s not a problem for us since we’ve been dealing with that kinda crap for years, but I’m kinda worried about the way Chelsea’s been taking it. She’s been kinda sensitive about the whole thing since the whole incident with the cheer squad, and Tori being mean about it isn’t helping.
Umm. . . Aside from that, nothing’s really been going on in the family! So, what would you like to purchase? I recommend the double layer cheesecake, I can tell you for a FACT that it’s one of the best things here. You doubt? Oh, come on, you think I haven’t sampled EVERY SINGLE THING HERE, at least a dozen times? You think I’m not an expert taste tester? Need I remind you I’m 385 pounds? Hmmph. Yeah, don’t even PRETEND I don’t know what’s good here!
Ha, you have a good day now! Come back soon!
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