Interesting thought about Body Classification...

[eightyseven]

So the widely accepted and politically correct term for a big girl is a BBW, and for a big guy is a BHM... right, got it.

That's where it ends for us guys, but the girls on the other hand are subject to the infamous "SS," distinguishing the big girls from the big big girls. While there's subjectivity to it (no distinct point at which a woman is supersized or not), there are obvious differences between a BBW and an SSBBW, no doubt... mostly in the realms of physical apprearance, lifestyle, and limitations.

My question is... what about the big big guys? Are there not inherent differences (physical appearance, lifestyle, limitations, etc.) between big guys and big big guys? Why have we not seen the term SSBHM pop up yet in our community?

I feel like it's yet another product of the double standard in our society... but I could be wrong, which is why I'm putting this out there... I'm simply curious. Why is it that we further objectify and classify women, while men are just lumped together? It's puzzling, but interesting to think about.

Talk amongst yourselves. I may join in here and there, though ;)

[Sweet Tooth]

Huh. Hadn't thought about it, although I do notice that I don't personally classify a guy as a BHM until he's well over 300 [depending on height and shape]. A woman is a BBW at, what, 175 lbs? Definite double standard then.

Then again, there's the whole description versus label issue. I don't mind being called fat, because that is simply a description, but where I fall on the BBW vs. SSBBW spectrum makes for some interesting issues when different people define me with their own label.

[lipmixgirl]

interesting question... i know that i refer to big big boys as ssbhms... gay vays? (that is yiddish for "who knows?")

[Rainahblue]

interesting question... i know that i refer to big big boys as ssbhms... gay vays? (that is yiddish for "who knows?")

Yeah, me too.
My SA group often uses the term SSBHM, but I definitely see that it's not as widely recognized or used as frequently as the female terms are. I honestly loathe labels of any kind since they're typically so inaccurate, but there they are. I also found that ignoring the familiar SA terminology when starting my group was more of a hindrance than a statement, so I gave in.

[BBW MeganLynn44DD]

This is a tough one.I'm about 265 and I consider myself a BBW not a SSBBW.Men can be overweight and it's ok by society standards.BHM not sure where that one starts or ends.

[GoddessNoir]

Megan Lynn and Sweet Tooth make really good points here. A man can be a bit bigger than average and they aren't necessarily considered a BHM. I've dated men who were 300 pounds or so and people usually say, "he's a big guy", actually the nick name of one of them in his neighborhood was Big Man. So, men have a lot more room before they get slapped with any titles to beign with. But, a woman can be 200 pounds or less and be considered a BBW. http://img116.exs.cx/img116/934/z0tdntknw.gif

Then on the other hand. People I've dated have called me anything from Super Thick, to BBW, to smallish BBW, to thickums. Right now, I guess I would consider myself to be a bigger BBW, right on the cusp of being SS-ed but again, http://img116.exs.cx/img116/934/z0tdntknw.gif

[love dubh]

So the widely accepted and politically correct term for a big girl is a BBW, and for a big guy is a BHM... right, got it.

That's where it ends for us guys, but the girls on the other hand are subject to the infamous "SS," distinguishing the big girls from the big big girls. While there's subjectivity to it (no distinct point at which a woman is supersized or not), there are obvious differences between a BBW and an SSBBW, no doubt... mostly in the realms of physical apprearance, lifestyle, and limitations.

My question is... what about the big big guys? Are there not inherent differences (physical appearance, lifestyle, limitations, etc.) between big guys and big big guys? Why have we not seen the term SSBHM pop up yet in our community?

I feel like it's yet another product of the double standard in our society... but I could be wrong, which is why I'm putting this out there... I'm simply curious. Why is it that we further objectify and classify women, while men are just lumped together? It's puzzling, but interesting to think about.

Talk amongst yourselves. I may join in here and there, though ;)

It could be that, with men, they are not considered "big" up until a certain weight. They can be stocky, an ex-footballer, an ex-boxer, or a muscler man go to seed. I don't know weights and heights, but someone said that they don't considered men BHMs until 300 pounds. That's probably because up until that point, or a little below that, guys aren't seen as fat. They carry weight in a different way than women, can get "away with it" to a certain degree.

[William]

Hi Rain

I like BBW and BHM because the words Man and Woman is just beyond the abilities of some Search Engines to separate even with quotes around them :)

William



Yeah, me too.
My SA group often uses the term SSBHM, but I definitely see that it's not as widely recognized or used as frequently as the female terms are. I honestly loathe labels of any kind since they're typically so inaccurate, but there they are. I also found that ignoring the familiar SA terminology when starting my group was more of a hindrance than a statement, so I gave in.

[William]

Hi

I think that problem is that we BHMs have such a wide range of heights and that is why many plus sized ex-jocks carry their weight well plus their muscle tone.

William



It could be that, with men, they are not considered "big" up until a certain weight. They can be stocky, an ex-footballer, an ex-boxer, or a muscler man go to seed. I don't know weights and heights, but someone said that they don't considered men BHMs until 300 pounds. That's probably because up until that point, or a little below that, guys aren't seen as fat. They carry weight in a different way than women, can get "away with it" to a certain degree.

[Mia Davina]

well as far as I knew, there is a specific distinction between bbw and ssbbw. Well.. actually I've heard a couple. One is that you have to wear a size 28 or larger.... the other is that you be over 300..... but if you go by those, I'm not sure what I am.. because I weigh 322lbs, but I'm a size 24/26

[CaptianNegro]

The coined phrases origanaly were words of acceptance and a positive conotation, not that its negative to day by any means. But personaly I feel the terms are used more or less like "lol" or "brb" due to the growing trend of there internet usage. Its becoming(to me) more a classification tool versus a complimentery one. I still think women are beautiful creatures regardless of title.;)

[Jes]

patriarchal society. we objectify women differently/more than men, so we need more classification, there. that's evidence of the power of naming. like...uh....a man whose wife cheats on him? he's called a cuckhold. what's a woman whose husband cheats on her called? just wife. :) (or: wife of a cheating husband. but there's no term for it as such)
correct me if i'm wrong.

[mossystate]

Big guy...like..."did you play ball in college?"...the man can be all comfy and reply.."you bet"..even if the only 'ball' he played was shooting one across some felt, into a hole...heh..

I have always disliked the terms bbw..ssbbw..etc..oh well....

As for more labels for women...yup..look at in traditional wedding vows..the man stays a man..the woman becomes a wife..the other...

When I am in Dims chat, I get asked whether I am 'just' a BBW..or have I moved up to this years more roomy model...oy...can I..may I...just BE??!!

[love dubh]

When I am in Dims chat, I get asked whether I am 'just' a BBW..or have I moved up to this years more roomy model...oy...can I..may I...just BE??!!

Everytime I hear some guys say that they like "mid-sized BBWs," I think of cars. Like, a mid-sized SUV. A LandRover! As opposed to an Escalade. :D

Although, the terminology, the idea of the "model," a "more roomy model," why you're just like a car! The guys are lookin' for a ride :D

[LillyBBBW]

Online is really the only place I use any of those terms. It's not so much a label as it is a shorthand for 'fat chick,' 'super fat chick,' 'heavyset,' 'big papi,' etc. I usually call extra large guys Big Papi's while the average sized ones are just referred to as heavyset. It's not a lingo, just the words I use. (usually just before purring)

[Jes]

Everytime I hear some guys say that they like "mid-sized BBWs," I think of cars. Like, a mid-sized SUV. A LandRover! As opposed to an Escalade. :D

Although, the terminology, the idea of the "model," a "more roomy model," why you're just like a car! The guys are lookin' for a ride :D
what's frustrating, for me, is that i've adopted applying those terms to myself simply b/c I...don't want to disappoint? Not exactly that, but I've noticed that people often see just what they want to see, and when they find out they're wrong, they're not very smooth about the slippage, and it's awkward or hurtful or whatever. So I'm always trying to be upfront and remove mystery and all of that and then I end up using the classifications even though what I'd like for someone to see is just me (sure, size and all, but the package, not the classification).

[William]

Hi Jes

Well

Cuckold comes from the bird, which lays its eggs in other bird's nests and lets them raise them. It is the instances where Women gets pregnant by another man and passes off the child as her mate's that is what a cuckold is.

William





patriarchal society. we objectify women differently/more than men, so we need more classification, there. that's evidence of the power of naming. like...uh....a man whose wife cheats on him? he's called a cuckhold. what's a woman whose husband cheats on her called? just wife. :) (or: wife of a cheating husband. but there's no term for it as such)
correct me if i'm wrong.

[Jes]

perhaps technically, but certainly, the uses I've heard of the term are just about the sex sex sex. :) However, I'm not going to fight you on it since it would only end badly. But those of you who read medieval literature for a BA--are you with me, or am I wrong? is it about the babies?

[William]

Hi Jes

I Know :)

The newer meaning is a illegitimate use of the word!

William





perhaps technically, but certainly, the uses I've heard of the term are just about the sex sex sex. :) However, I'm not going to fight you on it since it would only end badly. But those of you who read medieval literature for a BA--are you with me, or am I wrong? is it about the babies?

[Jes]

Hi Jes

I Know :)

The newer meaning is a illegitimate use of the word!

William
It's going to come to blows, isn't it, William? Isn't it?

Well I've got my dukes up now, pal. My nostrils are flaring!

[activistfatgirl]

It's going to come to blows, isn't it, William? Isn't it?

Well I've got my dukes up now, pal. My nostrils are flaring!

*intercedes

calm down, there, hossie. let's get us some lemonade and take a break for a spill. no need to stretch out those pretty nostrils.

[William]

Hey

I am just feeling frisky cause I had half the day off from work :)

William



It's going to come to blows, isn't it, William? Isn't it?

Well I've got my dukes up now, pal. My nostrils are flaring!

[Sweet Tooth]

perhaps technically, but certainly, the uses I've heard of the term are just about the sex sex sex. :) However, I'm not going to fight you on it since it would only end badly. But those of you who read medieval literature for a BA--are you with me, or am I wrong? is it about the babies?

From a section of the Wikipedia commentary on "cuckold":
"Cuckold" is derived from the Old French for the Cuckoo bird, "Cocu" with the pejorative suffix -ald. The earliest written use of the Middle English derivation, “cokewold” occurs in 1250. The females of certain varieties of Cuckoo lay their eggs in other bird’s nests, freeing themselves from the need to nurture the eggs to hatching. In middle age Europe, the law, custom, and the church all defined married women as a category of property held by her husband. Although Christian marriage vows strictly enjoined sexual exclusivity in a marriage for both partners, custom and doctrine rarely enforced it on the husband. A married woman who was unfaithful to her vows made a “cuckoo” of the husband who unknowingly provided her, and potentially her illegitimate offspring, with shelter and protection as a tricked bird does to the cuckoo’s eggs.

I'm guessing the biggest difference now that influences how we choose to define it, is that women are independent and have their own rights apart from their husbands. Oh, and we have birth control. The references I've seen in my reading refer primarily to the infidelity.

[Ericthonius]

From a section of the Wikipedia commentary on "cuckold":
"A married woman who was unfaithful to her vows made a “cuckoo” of the husband who unknowingly provided her, and potentially her illegitimate offspring, with shelter and protection as a tricked bird does to the cuckoo’s eggs.

This, brings a whole new meaning to the phrase,
"Cuckoo for Cocoa-Puffs!"

[eightyseven]

And, we've lost another thread... sigh.

Looking back, thanks to Mossy for your particularly thought-provoking thread, it really stood out in my mind for some reason :)

... Jes, I would point out that I enjoyed your initial though... but it is your terminology that started the tangent... GRRR... hehe, just messin' with ya! :p

[MissToodles]

From a section of the Wikipedia commentary on "cuckold":
"Cuckold" is derived from the Old French for the Cuckoo bird, "Cocu" with the pejorative suffix -ald. The earliest written use of the Middle English derivation, “cokewold” occurs in 1250. The females of certain varieties of Cuckoo lay their eggs in other bird’s nests, freeing themselves from the need to nurture the eggs to hatching. In middle age Europe, the law, custom, and the church all defined married women as a category of property held by her husband. Although Christian marriage vows strictly enjoined sexual exclusivity in a marriage for both partners, custom and doctrine rarely enforced it on the husband. A married woman who was unfaithful to her vows made a “cuckoo” of the husband who unknowingly provided her, and potentially her illegitimate offspring, with shelter and protection as a tricked bird does to the cuckoo’s eggs.

I'm guessing the biggest difference now that influences how we choose to define it, is that women are independent and have their own rights apart from their husbands. Oh, and we have birth control. The references I've seen in my reading refer primarily to the infidelity.

It reminded me of the cuckoo song

http://www.bartleby.com/101/1.html

[activistfatgirl]

And, we've lost another thread... sigh.



87, embrace the tangent. Love the tanget. We're all learning things here. :P

[William]

"Threads are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."



87, embrace the tangent. Love the tanget. We're all learning things here. :P

[eightyseven]

87, embrace the tangent. Love the tanget. We're all learning things here. :P

No... so there :p

[Ericthonius]

Online is really the only place I use any of those terms. It's not so much a label as it is a shorthand for 'fat chick,' 'super fat chick,' 'heavyset,' 'big papi,' etc. I usually call extra large guys Big Papi's while the average sized ones are just referred to as heavyset. It's not a lingo, just the words I use. (usually just before purring)

What's in a name? (And pillow talk, as above, or internet shorthand not withstanding.)

I wonder how many of the sub divisions of both BBW and BHM are really terms people use to delude themselves? "Thick", is my personal Bete Noir, in that the term is used to equivocate both sides of the fat fence. In one word it combines two opposite things, saying, "I like fat girls", and, "The girls I like aren't fat... They're Thick." That's bulllshit.

You are what you are and you do it with whatever you do it with. If it waddles like and quacks like a duck, guess what? It's a damn duck. Similarly, Fat is fat and that IS that.

[eightyseven]

What's in a name? (And pillow talk, as above, or internet shorthand not withstanding.)

I wonder how many of the sub divisions of both BBW and BHM are really terms people use to delude themselves? "Thick", is my personal Bete Noir, in that the term is used to equivocate both sides of the fat fence. In one word it combines two opposite things, saying, "I like fat girls", and, "The girls I like aren't fat... They're Thick." That's bulllshit.

You are what you are and you do it with whatever you do it with. If it waddles like and quacks like a duck, guess what? It's a damn duck. Similarly, Fat is fat and that IS that.

*CLAPS ENTHUSIASTICALLY*

(This is in place of the rep I can't give you right now because I have to "spread it around"... grrr. You're very deserving though... once again!)

[LillyBBBW]

What's in a name? (And pillow talk, as above, or internet shorthand not withstanding.)

I wonder how many of the sub divisions of both BBW and BHM are really terms people use to delude themselves? "Thick", is my personal Bete Noir, in that the term is used to equivocate both sides of the fat fence. In one word it combines two opposite things, saying, "I like fat girls", and, "The girls I like aren't fat... They're Thick." That's bulllshit.

You are what you are and you do it with whatever you do it with. If it waddles like and quacks like a duck, guess what? It's a damn duck. Similarly, Fat is fat and that IS that.

In my travels the descriptions are necessary, I can't see how I can avoid using something to differentiate. Almost everything I do involves extremely large groups of people, social interaction and crowd control and they depend on my ability to help them figure out who people are. Frequently I have to tell someone, "Once you've gathered your gear go to the other side of the stage and see 'Ron' to register your group. He's a great big fat Italian guy wearing a green T shirt and a pair of thick glasses. He'll have a lot of keys dangling from his waist. Show him this card, tell him what you need and he'll get you started." I can't be PC when describing key people. It has to be a universal language that everyone will catch on to and 'BHM' and all that stuff wont work. Even over the phone when I describe myself I dont use pretty words. "I'll be the big fat black lady in a ponytail and wrinkled dress standing out front holding a clipboard, you can't miss me." I wouldn't use, "Cute chubby lady bla bla bla." Not everyone will think so, so I have to be bland and realistic.

[saucywench]

*intercedes

calm down, there, hossie. let's get us some lemonade and take a break for a spill. no need to stretch out those pretty nostrils.
B-but--flared nostrils are so sexy!:smitten:

[Jes]

And, we've lost another thread... sigh.

Looking back, thanks to Mossy for your particularly thought-provoking thread, it really stood out in my mind for some reason :)

... Jes, I would point out that I enjoyed your initial though... but it is your terminology that started the tangent... GRRR... hehe, just messin' with ya! :p
you know what? shut it.