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Old 02-09-2009, 04:15 PM   #2
Cors
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Europe
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Sorry to hear that Donni. I find that queer women can be as judgmental, if not more so than straight folk because the community is so small. Most lesbians I know are curve-friendly but fat-phobic and a significant number are also biphobic, transphobic, queer-phobic. My "friends" turned on me for being vocal about my preferences and my choice of partners. People often tell me that I am not missing much, especially now that I am happily attached (oh yay, the supposed straight privilege) and I guess they are right but it just hurts when those people were once my family, my community and I thought I belonged. So yes, I feel some of your pain at least.

Back to your question. Well, you are married now. That is enough to make most people back off because they would assume that you are straight or at least have a monogamous arrangement with your husband. Even if you are in an open relationship or are open to polyamory, that is more than what most people are willing to handle. If it is not too personal, are you looking for general involvement in the community, friendship or physical experiences? Or is this a rant about your past experiences? It saddens me to hear that you are feeling so isolated.

A queer FFA's perspective:

I personally can find supersized women appealing, even though I have not met any in real life. Coming to think of it, I have not actually seen anyone above 350lbs in fat-unfriendly London in my three years here, let alone in clubs. From what I heard, the BBW bashes are geared towards heterosexual couples and that the girls occasionally make out with each other for fun and male amusement. The BBWs I have met in person, even queer ones were extremely negative about my size and my orientation, so I got scared off. I guess the internet works, but as queer women our choices are limited. And well, I guess it is fair to say that most (feminine) BBWs who do identify as bisexual end up settling for a male simply because queer FFAs are so much harder to come by.

And at the risk of sounding like another silly inconsiderate FA, I am honestly concerned about whether I can accomodate an SSBBW with mobility restrictions at this point of my life. As a student, I cannot afford to move to a more spacious flat without stairs, get new furniture and cab everywhere. I am sure if I do end up falling in love with a supersized person, we would try our best to work out something out.

Last edited by Cors; 02-09-2009 at 04:17 PM.
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