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Old 03-10-2009, 08:45 AM   #29
Celestial Ceece
SSBBW Singer
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Vermont
Posts: 202
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Thanks for the link to this discussion - it is very interesting and NECESSARY. I especially like what I've quoted below, where BigBellySSBBW discusses the queer community and how different sizes are treated differently.

Not to knock organizations that exist to end discrimination against fat people, but I have noticed in different places - not just in the queer community but also the greater fat community - where SSBBW's are not as valued as regular old BBW's or smaller women (and men). I have friends/acquantainces who are small or regular BBW's (meaning chubby or not really big) who are valued more because of their size. I've seen it with my own eyes. I've been on the receiving end of rejection because of my size, and it feels like crap, especially when you're in a place where you are supposed to be accepted!

Luckily, a lot of these places are conscious and aware that this is happening, and people are able to discuss it either amongst themselves or in something like a workshop or caucus. While we might feel like we are left out, we can make ourselves visible - our voices heard. And we are. I believe this forum and people's willingness to speak up about their experiences, both positive and negative, are helping to create an awareness that we very much need in our culture.

That's all I have to say for now, but we should all keep this discussion going and moving forward. Lets find solutions if we can. I don't know how that is possible but I think talking about it is a great start.

FAT (supersized) LOVE!

Originally Posted by BigBellySSBBW View Post
I am going to relate my experiences, no one elses and I am going to fill this page with broad generalizations...and that's ok cos it's my view of things.

Being queer and being supersized is way worse than being supersized and straight. My experience is that lesbians/bisexual women are very accepting of large women....until you pass that threshold of say 350lbs or so. I've only ever dated one woman and she was sorta taken from me by a small bbw lesbian. I don't know why that matters, lol, but I thought I would throw it out there.

I have so much going against me. I would love to be an active participant in PRIDE and the queer community in general but I have 3 distinct things going against me, the most of which is being supersized, then being married to a non queer man and the least of which is being bisexual.

I've never had women give me a chance. They give me a once over and turn the other way. People say men judge on looks, but women are just as bad.

So for those few truly supersized queers, is your experience the same? Do you experience the community from the side lines because no one wants anything to do with you, or is it just me?

With being married and being in a foriegn country (where fat is NEVER ok) I have pretty much surrendered my queer identity even though it kills me inside. I used to be one of the worlds best fag hags, and in this country even gay guys hate fat chicks (except for a minority)
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" -Wayne Gretzky

Last edited by Celestial Ceece; 03-10-2009 at 08:49 AM. Reason: I messed up (again)
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