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Old 05-13-2009, 01:44 PM   #21
Thriving circuitously
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: behind the north wind
Posts: 232
philosobear can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesphilosobear can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default a kaleidoscope of different situations.

A whole scrunchy bunch of situations- A girlfriend I really shouldn't have come out to, as it mixed really badly with her existing body image issues-she was small and desperately wanted to be smaller. She would have just been happier not knowing.

A pair of close friends who are a bit fat phobic- have to make some effort to stand up for my preference here, as we share so much on other levels that I can't stand not being honest with them.

Two family members who are obviously an FA/FFA mutually fat couple. Just turned up with a fat girl one day, mutual nods of approval, nuff said!

A colleague who was always complaining about her squidgy belly and drawing attention to it. It was so obvious that she enjoyed being fat and was an FFA that one day we just called a spade a spade with a sheepish grin. But actually that kind of unspoken subtext is so much fun that we keep up the pretense- she's left to do some more training, but on a return visit she gave me a squeezy hug and beamingly congratulated me for losing weight...when I really, really hadn't!

I'd like to find more male friends with an open preference in real life. I've had a couple but wasn't very close to them.

I dunno, I suppose what I'm saying is it's different in different situations. Sometimes it's great, sometimes people hate it, sometimes it's important to do, sometimes genuinely better not to.

I suppose I would modify the question to 'what was your most significant coming out moment?'

I mean, in general, it's good to come out. It does help you get comfortable in your own skin. But also, if I'm giving any suggestions it would be to ask yourself 'how is the person I'm talking to going to hear this? Given where they're at, does it make it more or less important, or or even a bad idea, to say this? If I am going to say/do this, how's it actually going to work?

Last edited by philosobear; 05-13-2009 at 01:50 PM. Reason: actually read the op now...
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