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Old 08-20-2009, 07:43 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by peppermint rhino View Post
I don't know if this is where this topic is trying to go, but my stance on the matter of objectifying/basing your decision to interact with any given woman is that I base my initial decision on whether or not I find myself attracted to the woman in question. If I am, I will persue her, if not, I won't. I do realize that these women I desire are individuals just like myself and a relationship with them would have to be primarly based on chemistry between our two personalities, but by the same coin, I have to be attracted to that person as well. If I'm not, then there's a very rare chance that I'm going to be interested in the woman in the first place.
Have you ever thought about the question How deep is your love? Or what the question implies in regards to connections and attraction in relationships?

They say love has to grow and deepen. But where does love initially start?
Love begins with infatuation and is shallow and visual. This is how humans are designed to attract each other. However once the initial attraction is made love has to deepen to grow. I have always maintained that men and women sexually and in relationships want the exact same things but go about getting them differently and for different genetic hardwired reasons.

Women want sex as much as men do and masturbate in the absence of a quality mate or fulfil the need with casual sex. The perception of the acts in question are merely percieved differently by society standards and how we treat those who act them out.

Men want love as much as women do but the trait is seen as a flaw or weekness in the natural selection process in favor of other more aggressive qualities. This is seen all over the place in how women are tired of seeing emotional men (pussies) and want one more aggressive, especially in the bedroom. This reinforces the aspect in men that aggressive behaviour is prized by women over the emotional, we react in nature accordingly in order for us to attract the partner who can provide support for our emotional and sexual needs. This also reinforces my point of going about getting our male human needs fulfilled differently than women who are allowed by nature and society to display these traits openly to attract males.

Men and women want the same things from intimate relationships as much as the other but once again the perception of how we go about achieving this is different.

If men were only sexually driven creatures there would be no relationships nor marriage for any other reason than to propogate the species. There would be no masturbation, nor sex with any woman outside of her optimum fertilization period. He would only marry those women he could continually make pregnant with success. There would be no intimacy related to the act.

If women were only sexual creatures then there would only be sex when an optimum male was available to do so. they would be just as sexually aggressive as males and they would not have sex outside of their optimum fertilization period, masturbate, or deal in sex practices outside of that optimum state. Casual sex would be last resort to pass genes on and be with a single mindedness of propogation at all costs. Once again no intimacy

If men and women were ONLY emotional creatures they would meet, connect, and never be attracted to another until or even after death, and vanity of physical appearance would not be relevant qualities in either gender.
intimate sexuality would only occur later in the relationship once emotional depth was achieved. It would not be a hormonal response to physical stimuli.

In men and women once the initial visual/physical attraction is made certain receptors in the brain shut down causing some flaws in personality to be overlooked so that one pays more attention to other traits of what attract two people. This is why a woman can get horny and wet looking at a well built man and men get erections and want to take the woman they just saw to bed.

The natural response of both toward the other is more physical, sexual and shallow. We are taught that this response to stimuli is the desire to want to get to know the male/female better on other levels. The response to initial attraction is more basic, animalistic, and sexual more often than not. Women are trained since birth to see it as something else, and not act on the sexual until the emotional can be satisfied as well. Men are taught to pursue it aggressively at this level. We test and temper each other in society to achieve the end result of the lifelong relationship through our dating games and mating rituals.

Once the couple is together and the shiny penny has worn a bit nature has given them a chance to get to know each other a bit and the relationship begins to heighten and deepen as they share experiences, and each other on a level more than just physical. If not, they stagnate. The flaws that weren't perceived initially become an issue and the relationship either ends or continues unhappily. Some couples never achieve emotional depth and don't realize it until something in the physical appearance of one partner or the other changes and they no longer feel an attraction toward that partner. These couples inevitably either accept their lot and continue or break up.

The couples that stay together through physical changes and life are the ones who have deep and abiding connections with their partners through the emotional connections they have nurtured over time. We as humans have an sense of instant gratification and although we desire the instant connection for a mate to see our minds as attractive as well as our bodies the initial attraction of our species is just not that way and we still seem shocked and offended when it just doesn't happen fast enough even though we realize that instant connections are rare without the initial visual connection to pave the way and create the desire necessary for intimate relationships to grow.

Men and women seek different qualities in each other. Both just as shallow as the other initially. I've been turned down for dates based on my income, some for looks, and for others it was my manner of deportment. Women are hardwired to seek men who can provide security(on various levels), genetic material for optimum offspring, safety, and income, amongst other things. A lot of time they see his ability to provide these things initially, in physical appearance, and translate that subconciously into intelligence ambition, and a level of aggression toward being able to provide these things.

This is why there are "guys, post pictures of your (insert name of masculine body part here.)" threads. Women just look for different characteristics within the physical traits and extrapolate differently the percieved abilities of a man on a basic subconcious level.

Men are visually driven but what we look for is different things in attraction and more driven toward the womans ability to pass on our genetic material. With men and women both, nature takes us to the most basic level of what traits we look for in a mate before we look deeper to the person for what will sustain the relationship past the point of infatuation.
Anyway enough rambling, on with the thread.
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