Thread: bi-gendered?
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Old 01-06-2010, 11:37 AM   #2
Tad
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Interesting question, Mer!

My take, the short form: Biological gender is mostly a binary thing, but mental gender is more of a spectrum, so I think it is normal that for many people their mental gender is partially in both areas.

My take, the long form:

Way back I posted a couple of drawings, one showing how we are so often categorized and the other more how I saw it, with regards to gender and what we are attracted to. I'm re-posting them here (this time in jpg so they are easier to see), because it really just sums up my feelings so much better than words.

To try and put things into words....I'm fairly indifferent to being male. Since we generally get born being one or the other, I suppose this one is fine. Would have liked to have tried them both out then been able to make a choice, but that option was not available. There is a lot of stuff about being male that either bug me or I don't care much about, but I admit shorter washroom lines is nice. I'm sure if I were magically turned into a woman that there would be things there that either bugged me or that I would not care much about (although with different hormones, window on the world, and so forth I'd obviously be a different person, so a bit hard to be certain what I'd think).

Given a fair degree of indifference about gender, or at least a fairly wide band in how I could operate, I've mostly taken the easy path and been pretty 'guy.' To give a trivial example, I can enjoy watching figure skating*, and I can enjoy watching a hockey game, so I'll generally choose the former over the latter, as most of the people I socialize with are men, so the hockey game gives me more to discuss with them. The same general logic applies to many other areas. And because of decades of these choices, my experience and skills and habits are all more aligned with behaving in a male way, but that way doesn't feel any more 'right' to me than do those in which I have less skills, experience, and habit.

I'm sure not trans, I don't think I'd feel any more at home in my skin as a woman than a man, and given how unlikely it is that any current technology would make me into a remotely convincing woman the reality is that no doubt I'd be less at home in my skin were I to change. And it isn't like I feel I could ever be 'all woman' any more than I'm 'all man' even when acting fairly typically male. Hence I don't view it so much as a 'bi' thing (implying a bit of one and a bit of the other) so much as a smooshed out, spread around, mush together of bits of both of them.

* My enjoying watching figure skating has nothing in particular to do with women in short dresses, I don't find figure skaters of either gender particularly appealing in an erotic sense.
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