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Old 01-10-2010, 12:39 PM   #35
James
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Originally Posted by katherine22 View Post
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Some people feel it necessary to borrow lingo from the gay liberation movement to describe their preference for fat women. It is pretentious to borrow language from a civil rights movement to describe the kind of woman one desires. It is self-centered to think that one's particular preference for a fat woman would have political or social overtones requiring explanation. In viewing the necessity to explain one's preference for a fat woman is to dehumanize the woman as if you were desiring a freak.

What this conversation is really about is do you have the emotional stability to be self-revealing to others without imbuing your personal preferences in such rhetoric. Have you got over the adolescent notion of how special you are concerning your choices? Do you have the self-integrity to have values that differ from your parents considering that you are an adult now. Grow up and take responsibility for what you desire.
I think there are often social overtones that require explanation. When a friend stops wanting to be your friend, when your family rejects you and doesn't speak to you for years, when your sexuality is frequently attacked or misunderstood by those to whom it applies... these are all social overtones of significance. These are just a few of the things that can happen for FAs. Granted that experiences vary but I've met enough FAs... and heard enough testimony IRL to know that these kind of outcomes cannot be dismissed as freak occurrences.

Using terms like closet is probably more a functional choice rather than some kind of implicit 'we have it as bad as homosexuals' inference. Although, that said, I have read from some of the gay FAs on these boards that they have sometimes found their attraction to fatness be more transgressive of social norms than their same sex attraction. Perhaps the comparison is not without merit after all? I have also heard that it is far more acceptable to be gay in many European countries than it is to be fat. Having lived in England and France for most of my life I could believe that to be true.

I do agree that it is a question of integrity but to dismiss the FA experience in such an offhand way betrays quite a lack of compassion for very real issues that many FAs face. I appreciate that its probably not enjoyable to come and read FAs talking about how their experience of dating fat people has inherent difficulty when one is a fat person oneself. However, I really don't feel its fair to level the charge that by admitting our realities, FA/FFAs are complicit in dehumanizing fat people as freaks. I'm sorry if you felt that way when you read my post. In no way was that my intention.

Last edited by James; 01-10-2010 at 03:54 PM.
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