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Old 01-16-2010, 03:56 AM   #43
rainyday
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,892
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Quote:
Originally Posted by liam View Post
I love beautiful fat women. I love them so much. I'd love to advocate for them and tell them they're beautiful and sexy, and altogether praiseworthy at all costs, but what is an acceptable cost for one isn't for another. Life is always complicated.
Quote:
Originally Posted by liam View Post
I'm open about dating bbws on a person-by-person basis, but there are still people (family and people that I otherwise love) to whom I could not come out and state, explicitly, that bbws my strong preference . . . .

Liam, I am not posting to ridicule you. Your struggle is very clear and I don't discount that it really is a struggle for you. As a fat woman though, I'm posting to ask you not to date my fellow fat sisters. Until you have dealt with the obvious shame you feel about what you prefer, please be man enough to avoid exposing potential partners to you the same way you hopefully would if you knew you had a communicable disease. Even if that means you have to be celibate and unpartnered.

Your mixed feelings, your excuses, your justifications--there is a little truth in all of them and you are entitled to them. I worked in a very image-conscious industry in New York. I am not unfamiliar with the type of societal pressure you're referring to. But that is the path you chose and what you are electing to make meaningful in your life. You have the potential to do harm, and since you know you're unwilling to stand up for a fat partner, the harm you'll do will be done knowingly and with premeditation. If you are unwilling to push back against the pressures you feel, do not make your struggle the burden of someone else who deserves better and deserves not to be splattered by the self-loathing you haven't yet come to terms with.
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