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Old 01-24-2010, 10:50 PM   #75
SocialbFly
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Originally Posted by rainyday View Post
Liam, I am not posting to ridicule you. Your struggle is very clear and I don't discount that it really is a struggle for you. As a fat woman though, I'm posting to ask you not to date my fellow fat sisters. Until you have dealt with the obvious shame you feel about what you prefer, please be man enough to avoid exposing potential partners to you the same way you hopefully would if you knew you had a communicable disease. Even if that means you have to be celibate and unpartnered.

Your mixed feelings, your excuses, your justifications--there is a little truth in all of them and you are entitled to them. I worked in a very image-conscious industry in New York. I am not unfamiliar with the type of societal pressure you're referring to. But that is the path you chose and what you are electing to make meaningful in your life. You have the potential to do harm, and since you know you're unwilling to stand up for a fat partner, the harm you'll do will be done knowingly and with premeditation. If you are unwilling to push back against the pressures you feel, do not make your struggle the burden of someone else who deserves better and deserves not to be splattered by the self-loathing you haven't yet come to terms with.


i agree with you Rainy, but it goes so much farther than that...i ask you as my sisters and brothers in fat...how many times have you heard from a married person, i dont love/desire my partner, i wanted a fat partner and now i am trying to find one....ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh give me a break...they picked the easier route and now realize what their true desire is...nice timing, for both people.

often times our choices and our self balls for lack of another word, come with aging...no doubt in my mind that those that come to grips early are very self aware and self assured and if they have doubts, in my mind, they file them under the "i dont give a f what you think".

paths to self discovery are not the same for everyone, but think about how many damaged people there are out there, we damage each other and cause damage, on purpose or accidently...the point is, causing as little as possible and growing in the process...and finding someone to love us no matter what the issues on either side...

again, not easy.
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Last edited by SocialbFly; 01-24-2010 at 10:52 PM.
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