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Old 10-12-2010, 02:14 PM   #62
WillSpark
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Location: NJ. It's where the cool people hang out.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SSBBW Katerina View Post
That's what I'm unhappy about. I can't help myself that when I feel genuine love for someone, that I tell them so. Deep down I know I set myself up for disaster. But I emote. Trust me I never used to be this way. Wearing my heart on my sleeve.; liable to get snagged on a hanger.

Someone I lost very dear to me years ago, cracked my fortress and told me it was ok to be the loving doting person I am. Even if its just a friendship love. But he warned me that it'd make me vulnerable & that it may not be returned- even a simple friendship love. But I'm not one to toss around the 'L' word. That absolutely terrifies people more than "audit" or "no refunds". So when I say it, i'm not blowing smoke. i feel it & express it.

Alas in vain. It gets draining & exhausting year after year for nearly 10 years. A heart can only take so much. I can't go back to throwing up walls as a defense again.

i just need a hug........ and more than that & i don't mean sex either.

i'll just suck it up and deal-- as usual.

Thx. to anyone for reading/ listening. Sometimes I think that's all we want. To know that we are not only being heard but understood & someone gives a damn about another soul & has the heart or balls or eggs to say it to that person. You never know what your words will mean to them & get them through another day... or moment.

Thank you.
I really want to give you a hug right now.
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