Thread: bi-gendered?
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:09 PM   #47
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I identify as genderqueer and would probably describe myself as bigender.

I've gone through a lot of different phases and periods of questioning my identity. For a large portion of my childhood I identified as a boy and tried my best to pass. When other children asked if I was a boy or a girl at the park I'd say "Boy," "Both," "Neither," or "It's a secret!" I talked about growing a penis a lot. My parents did their best to stamp these thoughts out of me and refused to let me dress as a boy and kept on buying me dolls hoping that maybe I'd stop playing army men with my brother.

Eventually I shifted back to feeling more feminine, but still out of place. In high school I started wearing makeup but then went through a period where I felt completely male and seriously considered transitioning. But the next year the pendulum swung again and I ended up even girlier than I was before.

At this point I've just sort of accepted that my gender and sexuality are fluid. I have a chest binder and sometimes I'll act as my boyfriend's boyfriend (though I don't often have the balls to do this in public.) Other days I get all dolled up in lace and frills. I've found that I seem to have settled into a mostly female identity and I no longer have (much) dysphoria. Ideally I would be able to switch my sex at will but...that isn't going to happen. So I figure there would be no point in transitioning because I'd just be an androgynous guy instead of an androgynous girl.

If you actually read all that, I hope my experiences helped you understand bigender people more.
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