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Old 07-16-2013, 07:53 AM   #56
Tad
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,428
Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.
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This past weekend had a couple of these moments close together. First, walking in to a mall, I saw in the reflection on the door that I’d spattered my white golf shirt with red sauce at lunch. It took a moment to realize that the reason I hadn’t noticed before then was that the spatters were on the lower part of my stomach, which is south of the equator, so to speak, so not a spot I can see without squeezing in the upper part of my belly, twisting around oddly, or looking at my reflection. It hadn’t really sunk in before that parts of my belly had disappeared from view.

I was going to the mall to buy some new shoes, but on the way to shoes I stopped in another shirt and found a golf shirt on sale, and changed into it. It was a pale grey, and a somewhat thin fabric, but quite comfortable.

I proceed to try on shoes. I have very hard to fit feet, but the sole on my existing cross trainers has worn through so I had to get something, even if they weren’t perfect. I tried on at least seven pairs of shoes, a number of them multiple times, trying to determine what was the least bad amongst them. Just as I finished my wife and son caught up with me (they’d gone elsewhere initially to get some coveted lego set), I mentioned getting the new shirt—then my wife said “Oh no, and you’ve already gotten something on it, too!” I looked, and realized that it was one of those fabrics that darkens quite a bit when it gets wet. But why was there some damp spots in the middle of my torso?

Then it hit me, those were sweat marks. Bending over to tie and untie all those shoes, I’d gotten sweaty in the crease between moob and belly, and when I’d straightened up it had marked my shirt. Which meant that a) I have a crease between moobs and belly, and get under-moob sweat, and b) that bending over, past my belly, was enough work that I’d ended up sweating, despite the store having moderate air conditioning.

I did leave the mall with shoes….and really feeling like a fat guy.
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Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
-Djuna Barnes, writer and artist
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