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Old 07-27-2014, 01:11 PM   #42
KHayes666
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Originally Posted by ssbbwBrianna View Post
Being a paysite model is not easy. I've been doing it since I was 18. only 3 yrs, but i started at a time when my confidence was SO LOW. I just got out of highschool where people tear you apart for being larger than average.
Anyways, You have to have thick skin and be completely comfortable with who you are like Saisha said above. you have to take everything with a grain of salt. When I started out, i didnt make alot, and i still know of several bigcuties, that make alot more than me, but it never stopped me! and i think your age doesnt matter. kelliekay and Ash are over 30, even though they are quite huge, age is still just a number! A large thing is being friendly and getting yourself out there, talking to people, taking time to get to know fans. I've grown to love talking with fans, and it may be hard to keep up, but it does pay off. I have realized, paysite modeling doesnt just come like "VOILA!" it takes months and months of hardwork, sometimes even a year or longer to build up a following of fans that appreciate you as a model. And you're ALWAYS going to have people judging you. so having the thick skin helps so much. when i get nasty messages calling me fat and disgusting I laugh it off. When i was 18, that stuff would hurt, but i've built up a skin, and with that skin, my confidence keeps me from getting hurt by fat shamers, or rude men. goodluck to everyone. and I'm sorry this all didnt work out for you abby. I thought you were absolutely cute! and i liked your updates. Goodluck on future ventures, whether in paysite, or not. Hugs.
To be fair, you've had it a LOT easier than others I know. You first started modeling when you were 18 meaning (apart from the obligatory dickhead fat haters) you've been serenaded by males calling you beautiful the past 3 years. So at 18 years old (or earlier, depending on when you found the "community") you discovered that it was ok to be a bbw.

A lot of others were frowned upon until well into their 30's (or later). After all the internet wasn't as advanced in 2001 as it is now. There was no facebook, Skype, myspace (dating even myself here), snapchat, tumblr, flickr or any kind of social media other than yahoo groups and aol chats (which here horribly moderated and poorly represented). Size acceptance wasn't as advanced as it is now as well. As much as NAAFA meant for so long, without social media to get the word out, it was as much as underground as anything else.

The point of this is a lot of women didn't have the luxury that you have, you have been blessed with being accepted at a much younger age than others. They had to develop thick skin and a lot struggle to this day with accepting themselves because of it. I have an older cousin who lives in a different state and during a course of our conversation, size acceptance came into it. She's in her late 50's now and even though she's not really a bbw, she never had the confidence to wear the clothes my fiancée wears when she herself was young because she thought she'd be made fun of, talked about, etc. Her husband obviously saw her beauty as they've been married for many years, but its tough to imagine her going through most of her adult life being afraid of the negativity. Guess what I'm trying to say is that a lot of people are turned off from modeling because they've spent so many years trying to escape negativity and it keeps following them.

I'm glad you've found inner peace, its much better to see positivity than negativity.
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