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Old 07-29-2014, 08:09 PM   #2
Yakatori
Hard to say, really...
 
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Default Just try to understand:

People react...with fear, anger, anxiety, etc...because they're projecting their own self-judgements onto a situation that's, basically, totally outside themselves, that they have no control over.

Your dad is responding as he is, despite whatever your preconceptions of how else he might feel about it; because, somehow, he realizes....that's all he can do: either accept it or not. And that, either way, nothing he does or chooses not-to will alter the fundamental reality of it. Generally, that's how real adults deal with things.

Your mom will be fine with it as well. Provided and once she arrives at a a similar type of understanding, that this has nothing to do with how they raised you. That it's just how it it is.

But, the time & effort it takes for just anyone to recognize this is sometimes the result of a two part equation, only one part over which you really have any control, in terms of what you bring to to the table. Which is, necessarily, factored against their own personal insecurities and self-doubts. That is, if you approach them from a place quiet-calm, self-assuredness, of not really asking any else of them but for their own personal-acceptance; then it will tend to make it a bit easier. If not necessarily easy per-se....

I guess I'm trying to say....in these types of conversations...a lot of what (I think) is the most unnecessary difficulty comes about from getting mired in the details, that are as-yet a ways off. When it's really the broad-strokes that matter most:

You've realized something about yourself. Which is not always so simple to articulate. There will be some challenges ahead. But it doesn't really change what's immutable; they are your parents and you are their child. And that you do your best to support each other...
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