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Old 09-25-2014, 04:37 AM   #833
Fat Molly
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: U.S.A.
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@Amaranthine:

In some ways I wish I was as self-assured and honest with myself as you are. I'm going to try now.

I am struggling in the sense that almost everyone who is interested in me right now is either male or MtF, and while my boyfriend and my ex boyfriend are men I'm still attracted to, the vast majority of the general population of men is repulsive to me. Even with M and D, while their dicks are perfectly fine and dandy, and I used to enjoy sucking them off, it's really hard for me to even think about giving fellatio without having a gag reflex. I didn't have that issue in the past.

Now I enjoy fantasizing about nice fat people (of various gender identities) fucking me in various ways, but I derive more pleasure from thinking about what my partner could be saying to me, grabbing my own fat, fucking myself with a toy, and generally self-pleasuring. Or about them stuffing their faces. Or something like that.

Basically I feel like my interest in actual sex is decreasing. And I am increasingly only interested in kissing people (and that I like a *lot*) and being fucked, or mutual masturbation. I feel bad even though my primary and I are in a non monogamous relationship that sucking dick has gotten so unpleasurable for me. I try to do it regularly for him irrespective - I mean, I did like it at one point. And sometimes I do genuinely enjoy it. It's just the coming in my mouth part that makes me sick, and the flavor of urine/sweat from a dick that hasn't been showered that day.

And I certainly like writing about giving head in my stories - such a turn on. But I feel bad for not wanting to give it as much as I used to.
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