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Old 01-12-2015, 07:59 AM   #21
Tad
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dromond View Post
Fat appreciation is not a fetish, it's a preference. If you have fetishes attached to it, that's a different issue. But fat =/= fetish.
Right, that would be a fat fetish..... but "FA" is used generally enough, with little enough definition, that I think people will take whatever interest in fat they have and say "Ah, at last--I have a term for what I like!" Some of those people may have a fat fetish, but call it fat appreciation.... and people sometimes expect that others who used the same label feel the same way.

It is a bit like the word “shy.” Some people who call themselves shy are simply quiet introverts, not apt to push themselves into a busy conversation, while others who may use that term have near crippling social anxiety, and various things between and around those terms. (maybe this happens less than it used to, as anxiety and social anxiety become terms in more common use, but I think this is at least somewhat still the case). Shy just became the catch-all description for anyone who was ‘backwards about being forward.’

So there is a split between what the term should mean, and how people actually use it. Welcome to the English language!


Quote:
Originally Posted by loopytheone View Post
I have to say that for me personally, preference isn't really the right word for it. I have a preference for dark hair and for shorter people but one of the most attractive and gorgeous person I have ever met was over six foot with platinum blond hair. And I don't feel like I am 'missing out' on anything by being with someone tall or blond etc. But if I was going out with somebody skinny? Well, yes, I would feel that I was missing out to a certain degree because I'd always be wanting to touch and feel and be with a chubbier person. I can be attracted to skinny people with awesome personalities but long term I'm not sure it would work out because I'd always be looking longingly at bigger people.

In conclusion, I wouldn't say that preference or fetish are really the right words to use for me personally as neither really explain that, you know?
Loopy, I’m familiar with that sort of experience myself. In trying to describe my feelings, years ago, I termed it that I have a number of ‘hot-buttons.’ That is, features (physical, mental, emotional) that tended to grab and hold my interest. The more of those hot-buttons someone hits, the more I’m apt to be interested in them (granted, some cause me to respond more strongly than others).

Some of those hot-buttons have a tendency to cluster together sometimes, but that doesn’t mean that they are only found together, and it doesn’t mean that any particular hot-button was ever necessary to what I liked, just that someone hit enough of them over-all. Also, sometimes frequent clusters led me to think one thing about what I liked, that I later realized was not the case. I.E. in younger days I thought I preferred short women. Eventually I realized that actually I liked a number of things that in teenagers, seemed to have been more common amongst the shorter women of my acquaintance: higher hip to height ratio, good posture, and a sassy attitude (I’m not saying those are universal, just that in my formative years I found those clustered in a lot of the shorter girls that I knew).

A fetish, of course, is a whole different beast. It is not a manner of how many things you like about someone, it is an outright requirement for sexual arousal. No matter how many attractive qualities the other person has, without your fetish being engaged, you won’t be aroused.
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