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Old 01-14-2015, 04:37 PM   #23
choudhury
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 123
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Interesting discussion. Frankly, I haven't thought that much about the concept of a "sexual fetish." It does seem to me that the term does some of the work that "pervert" did in a less polite era. No one ever talks about the desire for thin partners as a "fetish." The word "fetish" seems, in part, to be a way of denoting desires that are considered deviant or outside the norm.

This is probably why I tend not to like the term.

But if, by "fetish," we simply mean, a specific pre-requisite for sexual arousal, then gosh, I'm actually not a "fat fetishist." I've gotten hot and heavy with a couple of relatively thin ladies in my time, and arousal wasn't a problem, although they weren't my preferred type. Once you're getting intimate, a lot of other sensual factors come into play and have the desired effect.

Yet saying all of that doesn't do full justice to the extent to which I am wired to lust after BBWs. Are you kidding? Out in public, the only women I'll look at "in that way" are BBWs. When I look at porn, it's BBWs. In my head, it's BBWs. And no, this was in no way a choice - why would I "choose" an orientation that throws me outside the mainstream? Geez, in the pre-internet era, even finding BBW porn was a chore. A lot of frustration and isolation accompanied this "preference."

Fuelingfire is on the right track that being an FA is something like being gay. I don't think it's nearly as painful as being gay often has been - nobody ever tried to make FA-BBW relations illegal, for instance, and I doubt many FAs have committed suicide because they are so torn by the own sexual identity, which still happens to too many LGBT young people. On the other hand, being FA is not nearly as publicly accepted nowadays as being gay is (or so I'd argue). It's still widely regarded as a deviant fetish, where gayness is only seen this way by Neanderthals.

Rambling answer. Sorry.
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