Thread: FA Frustrations
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Old 01-22-2015, 03:43 PM   #37
joswitch
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Join Date: Dec 2007
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Default Dat advice :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by magodamilion View Post
So how'd you manage to get an active dating life then? It sounds like you're essentially in the same boat as me. I'm asking in genuine curiosity because I'm not sure what to do really.

Lately I've hit on so many BHM guys in bars and it never goes anywhere. They rarely even give me their numbers. Someone needs to develop some type of Pick Up Artist advice directed at women because no one ever seems to consider the problem of women who have no game at all. I'm nice and I give specific compliments not generic ones. I don't get what these guys issue is. I don't think it's insecurity like you all on here assume. There's a lot of diversity within the BHM population. They're not all skittish insecure people most of them are absurdly picky and I have no idea what they're looking for.
Advice, to women on how to pull men in bars, it's not so much about what you say, as what you do. Talk is cheap! Deeds, not just words! :

To start off, "when first making contact": If the man in question has learned to "read" people, and he is on the look-out, if you catch his eye and you find each other desirable, then it's all about "the look*".

What is "the look*"? It's hard to describe in words, but when women look at you like this, locking eye contact for a few heartbeats - it's like a lightning strike. It's a blazing and inviting look, at once lustful and tender, completely unembarrassed.

So, you can learn how to give that look^^

And/or it sounds like you have already reached the point where you are conversing with the guys you are interested in?
While you are talking, make lots of eye contact, initiate (initially non-sexy bits, obviously) touching - e.g. put your hand on their forearm as you talk. In a crowded bar you have the advantage of "Oops, I appear to be all pressed up against you, oh gosh"
Try to read their response, including body language etc.

(N.B.: If you're someone who has a tendency to ask new acquaintances lots of personal questions when you first meet - dial that way down! No-one like to feel "interrogated" and it's easy to make someone feel suspicious if you hit them with a barrage of questions.)

If you are out with all your girlfriends and you have been laughing it up together before you went to hit on the BHM you're interested in, he may suspect you are hitting on him as a joke / prank. To which end - look for tension especially in the shoulders (are his shoulders "shrugged up" tightly around his neck? Almost everyone does this when tense). You can be blatant and say "Oh, you look tense - can I give you a shoulder massage?" because, hey everyone loves a good shoulder / neck / back rub That can actually apply as an ice-breaker, even if he is not particularly tense. Is good excuse for sensual, intimate (but not necessarily sexy, altho' it can be) touching.

And once you are in one-on-one conversation, look for "the moment" when it's time for a kiss - you'll be talking face-to-face, close to one another and making eye contact, both with open facial expression. At some point there will be a natural "beat" or pause in the conversation, best of all just after you have both laughed together - lock eye contact again, and if eye contact is returned, don't say anything else, but lean in for the kiss. If there is some making out, great! Do not leave without saying something like "I really like you, and I'd like to see you again - give me your number so we can get together soon ".

Hope that helps some. Best of luck!

(*Fair comment this is entirely based on my own experience, in the past, before people spent all their time looking at their mobile phones when they were out in pubs Happy days. Including a few occasions when "the look" was so strong the whole conversation thing got skipped. No convo before kissing is a good way to meet crazy peeps tho' )
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