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Old 02-11-2015, 01:08 AM   #3
LinathSuru
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Unhappy

I'm very sorry for what you are going through, BeautifulBigD.

I actually briefly went through a... 'lesser version' of what you've described. I was losing weight by dieting at the time, mainly because of pressure from family... And my fella is also into weight gain.

I would be excited about losing 5 pounds or whatever because it was really, really hard for me as someone who can hardly resist eating at all, and who loves to do so... But if I mentioned anything about that, the loss, or how far I'd walked that day, or how many weeks til I hit my goal at that pace... etc. He got really grouchy and snappy.

I eventually basically yelled at him about it, which... I think in the 12 years we've known each other I've only yelled at him maybe three or four times... And he came around and said he was sorry, and he knew he should be supportive even if he wasn't happy about the changes it made to my body, and he would work to get past it.

You need to expect those kinds of things from your husband when you two make it to marriage counseling. Maybe not right away, of course, it's emotional for him too... But that really should be the end result. Even if it makes him sad for a while, even if you have to extend your patience over it while he tries to get past it.. He also should be able to realize you are the woman he had a child with, and the woman who made his house with him, and the woman responsible enough to lose weight for her health even knowing her husband won't be happy about it.

It's not like this is for you alone... This is for your family. And especially if you don't think you'll ever stop being big, the guy should be able to at least realize that while it is his preference for you to gain weight... You're losing weight for your health, your son, your family... And that includes him.


Now, if things don't go well... Emotions can make it very hard to remember where priorities should be (though I doubt that will be the case for you since you have a son to consider). Remind yourself that you are trying to make things work the healthy way.


And either way, I wanna say this makes you beautiful in my eyes... For the reason I bolded above. That takes strength in a way that really is under-appreciated in my opinion.

Good luck.
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