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Old 05-23-2015, 11:28 AM   #5
loopytheone
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Originally Posted by luvmybhm View Post
since you mentioned questions are ok...

i read the attachment. so if i am correct in how i read that...you can have a partner and have sex, but you are not attracted to them?

i am trying to understand what being asexual means...

if you are not attracted to anyone, then what drives you to find partners?

i get the 'you can have sex without love/love without sex', but i am having a problem grasping the 'sex without attraction' thing.

could you explain. i find this very interesting as a concept.
Questions are always cool. =)

Yes, from the sounds of it, you read it right. As for what drives asexual people to have partners, well... romantic attraction is a different thing to sexual attraction, you know? You can want to sleep with someone without wanting to be in a relationship with them, that is what one night stands are all about, after all. And it works the other way round too. So a lot of asexuals are romantically attracted to people without being sexually attracted to them. We can fall in love, want to kiss, want to hold hands on the beach etc without wanting to get naked and rub genitals, basically.

As for the 'sex without attraction' thing... well, there are, again, many reasons. It isn't just asexuals who do this either; the story of a man/woman sleeping with someone for their money is pretty common, right? Or that whole 'would you sleep with x for a million dollars?' game. Or sex workers, come to think of it, I doubt they are attracted to all of their clients. I can only really speak for me personally, but the first time I had sex with someone it was because I was curious. I wanted to know what it was that everybody was obsessed about. The second time I had sex with someone, it was because we were in a long term relationship and it was something that was meaningful and important to them. I wasn't sexually attracted to him, but I loved him, and having sex with him meant a great deal to him so I did so.

I don't think these kind of concepts are unique to asexuals, just that they are things you don't think about until someone points them out. Hope that answers your questions?
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