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Old 09-21-2015, 01:51 PM   #51
choudhury
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 113
choudhury carries a lot of weight on this boardchoudhury carries a lot of weight on this boardchoudhury carries a lot of weight on this boardchoudhury carries a lot of weight on this boardchoudhury carries a lot of weight on this board
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I'm not too sold on any logic that says 'if you are not turned on by your partner any more, the relationship is over.' At risk of offending older posters - and I'm middle-aged myself - it is probably true that most people's first preference is not to have an aged lover. Yet many seniors have quite satisfying sex lives, I'm told. Obviously, they are able to work around the fact that their partner is no longer the luscious young thing they married. And if we took the stance that our partner has to be what turns us on, most marriages would not last past middle age.

My two cents are that part of the issue with weight loss is that it tends to occur too suddenly. They diet, hey presto, within months they're much thinner. Our lovers' bodies are meant to change gradually, over time, and this gradual quality gives us lots and lots of time to adjust, such that, indeed, we barely notice the changes. That, I suspect, is how we can continue to find our partners attractive over many years despite the aging process. But with a sudden weight loss (or, in the non-FA world, a sudden weight gain), it's much harder to adjust. Or so I'd guess.

And incidentally, on the whole 'need/want' thing, of course we do not NEED sex. It is a strong drive and in that sense much more potent than, say, my 'desire' for a pint of beer or to watch the ball game. But millions of people have lived fulfilling lives without it. Abstinence is a real option, albeit a tough one.
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