Thread: am I weird
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Old 12-12-2015, 07:21 AM   #15
happily_married
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Virginia
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happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by choudhury View Post
I agree that it's a drag to find oneself outside the norm on these things. But as problems go, it's a minor one. Indeed, the real burden is borne by BBWs and SSBBWs, who all too often internalize self-loathing as a result of society's somewhat arbitrary 'standards' of beauty. Just pursue your preference and enjoy it.
This seems pretty true as near as I can figure. There are exceptions and I dated a couple. A confident woman is a beautiful thing, and really noteworthy if she's a confident BBW. It seemed a lot of the BBWs I dated had their defenses up. They'd been the victims of someone just trying to "bang a fat chick" then move on or the object of someone's fetish. It took some serious patience and communication skills to break through those defenses and in some cases I never did. Which is fine because it all led me to the woman I'm married to today. But it hasn't been without its frustrations.

Regarding my wife, I've realized there will never be the level of self-appreciation that I wish she'd have until she brings herself down to a weight level she feels more comfortable in. There are two take-aways with this realization: 1) It's my cross to bear as an FA with a BBW wife. Being married to this woman is an absolute privilege but it doesn't come without emotional issues stemming from weight and this is something I have to accept and 2) It's vital to support her when she embarks on her weight loss efforts again. She did well and dropped over 120 pounds at one point. Then one thing after another derailed her and she gained a lot of that back. As of now she's in a "why bother" state of mind until after the New Year, but I know she wants to hit it hard again in January. And when she does it'll be time to put my own preferences aside and embrace what's important to her. It does her no good to lose weight and for me to say stuff like, "I'm happy for you but I liked you better fat." Nope. I have to sincerely get on board with her and I will.
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